#45 - 史坦顿岛与节日欢乐使者

(欢快的音乐播放) 播客。

(upbeat music plays) Podcast.

呃，斯塔滕岛本周上了新闻，呃，斯塔滕岛抗议当局对一家热门酒吧的突袭和关闭，呃，该酒吧因疫情担忧被市政府关闭。

Uh, Staten Island in the news this week, uh, Staten Island protesting the, uh, raid and closure of a popular bar, uh, that the city shut down amidst COVID concerns.

我们之前说过，呃，我们在这个播客里说过，呃，斯塔滕岛不需要任何帮助，呃，来应对疫情。呃，你要是带着病毒走进那家酒吧，呃，你会被打掉牙齿。

We've said it before, uh, we've said it before on this podcast, uh, Staten Island doesn't need any help, uh, handling COVID. Uh, you walk into that bar with COVID, uh, you'll get your teeth knocked in.

看，这就是斯塔滕岛的疫苗。五个穿着Carhartt工装的建筑工人会把病毒从你体内揍出来。你知道，这周很多人讨论，呃，很多人讨论我们什么时候能接种疫苗。他们觉得，呃，他们觉得要等到七月。

Now, that's the Staten Island vaccine right there. It's five construction workers in Carhartts beating COVID out of you. You know, a lot of talk, uh, a lot of talk this week about when we're all gonna get vaccinated. They think, uh, they think July.

来，呃，来斯塔滕岛吧，知道吗？从纽约坐渡轮是免费的，知道吗？你一下船，就会有一排电梯工会的家伙等着揍扁你，知道吗？但你会接种疫苗的，知道吗？

Come, uh, come to Staten Island, you know? The ferry's free from New York, you know? When you get off the boat, there'll just be a line of guys from the elevator union ready to beat the shit out of you, you know? But you'll be vaccinated, you know?

可以去探望，呃，可以去探望奶奶，还能和朋友去酒吧，所以，你知道，考虑一下吧。还有什么新闻？呃，现在显然是节日季，对吧？呃，今年我要玩点新花样。

Get to visit, uh, get to visit grandma and go to the bar with your friends, so, you know, think about it. What else is going on? Uh, it's obviously the holiday season, right? Uh, I'm taking it up a notch this year.

今年我，呃，整个十二月每天都要为节日季做一件好事。呃，到目前为止，受益者只有我自己。嗯，昨晚我给自己买了一杯巧克力奶昔。

This year, I'm, uh, every day December, I'm gonna do one nice thing for somebody for the holiday season. Uh, so far, it's just been me. Um, I got myself a chocolate shake last night.

呃，我去了超市，这边那家超市每天都会做巧克力奶昔和巧克力蛋糕。

Uh, I went to the supermarket, and, uh, the supermarket over here does... They make chocolate shakes and chocolate cake every day.

嗯，他们还会做布朗尼，但通常卖不完，所以买到的经常是放了两天的，有点难吃。

Um, they also, um, they also make brownies, but, uh, they don't always sell through, so, you know, you're usually getting one two days old, um, which is kinda tough.

呃，这个假日季我们看到的最大新闻大概是reviews.org（就是reviews.org）正在寻找一位节日欢乐大师。不用再找了，懂我意思吧？

Uh, and perhaps the biggest news that we've seen this holiday season is, uh, reviews.org, that's reviews.org, is looking for a Holiday Cheermeister, um, this holiday season. Uh, look no further, you know?

我觉得这是常识，呃，我特别擅长过圣诞节。在一分钟国度里这绝对是常识，嗯，可能在全美国都是常识，你懂吧？

I think it's pretty common knowledge, uh, that I am very good at Christmas. I think it's, it's definitely common knowledge among One Min Nation. Um, I think it's also probably common knowledge across the nation, you know? America.

呃，方方面面都擅长。我甚至没法形容这个选择有多简单，懂吗？吃饼干、收礼物、包装拆礼物——我相当确定我保持着拆礼物的陆地速度纪录。

Um, you know, just everything. I can't even really articulate how easy of a choice it is, you know? Uh, eating cookies, accepting gifts, wrapping and unwrapping gifts. I'm, I'm pretty sure, uh, I hold the, uh, land speed record for unwrapping gifts.

我猜怀俄明州肯定有个 loser 会说'其实我才是拆礼物速度纪录保持者'，而我的回应是：有年圣诞节我把马克叔叔从头到脚包装又拆开只用了两分

I'm sure there's some, uh, loser in Wyoming that's like, "Actually, I hold the land speed record for unwrapping gifts." Um, and r- my response would be that, uh, one time, one Christmas, I fully wrapped and unwrapped my Uncle Mark in, uh, in two

12秒，所以有种飞过来比试啊？我们可以上镜头较量。不过没错，这选择太简单了，我超在行的，通常都保持着绝佳状态懂吧？

minutes 12, two minutes 12 seconds, so, you know, fly here, you know? Let's do it on camera. Um, but yes, it's an easy choice. I'm, I'm very good. I'm generally in, like, an awesome mood, you know?

我提到过每天为他人做件好事的习惯。想想看，还有谁在这么做？这简直太棒了。嗯，成为节日欢乐大师的标准是必须在圣诞节前看完25部圣诞电影。

I mentioned the every day doing something nice for someone thing. Like, who else is doing that? That's, that's kickass. Um, the criteria for the Holiday Cheermeister is you have to watch 25 movies, 25 Christmas movies by Christmas.

我个人大概会看70到75部左右，所以这已经是我日常的一部分了。嗯，所以reviews.org的各位，如果你们在听，我们很乐意参与。

I'm probably personally gonna ring in somewhere between 70, 75, um, so it's already built in, you know, to my routine. Um, so, you know, reviews.org, if you're out there, you know, we'd love to do it.

嗯，我相信一分钟国民会为我担保的，对吧？我实在没法阻止他们在帖子里@你，鼓励你选我，而且我没有他们的密码，所以拦不住。

Um, I'm sure One Min Nation would vouch for me, you know? I can't really stop them from, you know, tagging you in these posts and, and encouraging you to pick me, and I don't have their password, so I can't stop 'em.

不过，没错，这个...欢乐大师的头衔交给我绝对稳妥。这里是一分钟播客。

But, uh, but yeah, it would be, it would be very... The title of Cheermeister would be very safe in my hands, you know? Uh, this has been the One Minute Podcast.

一分钟播客由Graham Sachs制作，录制地点嘛...就在我的公寓里。

Uh, the One Minute Podcast is produced by Graham Sachs and recorded in, uh, my apartment.