#75 - 街头畅饮

天啊。欢迎收听一分钟播客。一分钟播客就是在一分钟内告诉你所有需要知道的事情。嘿，我们的计时器已经启动，让我们快速浏览头条新闻。

Jesus. Welcome to one minute podcast. One minute podcast is where we tell you everything you'd need to know in just one minute. Hey. We got mister timer going here, and let's pop into the headlines.

今天我们打开推特看看。知道吗？都有谁呢？瓦妮莎·哈金斯。瓦妮莎·哈金斯告诉凯莉·克莱森她能通灵。

We got Twitter open today. You know? So who we got here? We got Vanessa Hudgens. Vanessa Hudgens tells Kelly Clarkson she has the ability to talk to ghosts.

我已经接受了自己能看到和听到某些东西的事实。未知令人恐惧，但我最近想通了——不，这是一种天赋，是我拥有的能力。对，这其实就是精神分裂症。

I've accepted the fact that I see things and I hear things. The unknown is scary, but I recently was like, no. This is a gift and something that I have. Yeah. Well, this is schizophrenia.

懂我意思吗？虽然她肯定不能真的通灵，但这正是当下美国的现状。在美国，你懂吧？你可以上个低档日间脱口秀，告诉人们你脑子里有声音，观众还会为你欢呼。

You know what I mean? So this is, you know, she can't talk to ghosts for sure, but this is where we're at right now in America. America. You know? You can go on a low ranking daytime talk show and tell people that you have voices in your head, and, they will cheer.

观众会欢呼，会尖叫，还会送你个礼品袋，里面装着iPad Pro之类的。与此同时，瓦妮莎·哈金斯全程坐在椅子上，脑子里有个声音不停说：杀光房间里所有人。懂吗？用那台iPad杀光所有人。

Crowd will cheer, will roar, and they'll give you a gift bag with, like, an iPad Pro in it. So yeah. And meanwhile, Vanessa Hudgens is sitting in the chair the whole time with voices in her head just saying, kill everyone in the room. You know? Use the iPad to kill everyone in the room.

对吧？话说回来，胖企鹅。这又是谁？胖企鹅推动每周NFT销量。又是加密货币的破事。

Right? Anyways, Pudgy Penguin. Who's this? Pudgy Penguin drive weekly NFT sales. Ask more crypto stuff.

我他妈真的受够了看加密货币新闻。我连这条标题都不想读。懂吗？老兄，我明白这玩意儿，但我他妈连普通货币都还没搞明白呢。

I'm so fucking tired of reading about crypto. I can't do I'm not even gonna read this headline. You know? It's like, dude, I get it. Like but I don't even like, give me some time to figure out fucking regular money.

知道吗？我不需要知道我现在穷，将来也会穷。行了吧？去他的。我们要长期抗战了。

You know? I don't need to know that I'm poor now and I'm gonna be poor in the future. Alright? Fuck it. We're we're going long.

我们正在将外带酒精饮料合法化。这是纽约州长为支持小企业推出的政策，而且我知道大家都需要喝一杯。是啊。看她那张脸笑得真他妈开心。天啊。

We are legalizing to go drinks. This is from the governor of New York to support small businesses and because I know we could all use a drink. Yeah. What a happy fucking face she has. Jesus Christ.

我是说，反正也无所谓了，第二部分嘛，你懂的，喝起来吧。懂吗？油价都7美元一加仑了。对吧？世界上有些地方正在被炸成废墟。

I mean, might as well, I guess, the second part, you know, drink up. You know? Gas is $7 a gallon. Right? Areas of the world are just getting blown up.

再也没人买得起房子了。懂吗？所以就在街上喝几罐百威淡啤吧。或者在火车上喝几罐。

No one will ever afford a house again. You know? So have a few bud heavies in the street, I guess. You know? Have a few bud heavies on the train.

也许吧。也许这样挺好。还有什么？我们这儿还有一个——嘉年华邮轮。

Maybe. Maybe it's good. What do got? We got one more here. Carnival cruises.

嘉年华邮轮公司说三月最后一周是他们历史上预订量最高的一周。太棒了兄弟！我爱邮轮。我在《独男播客》里说过，但让我告诉你原因。《独男播客》爱邮轮是因为我最喜欢去个地方却完全不体验当地文化。

Carnival cruises said last week in March was its busiest week of bookings in history. Fuck yeah, dude. I love cruises. I love I've said it before on the on the OneMen Pod, but let me tell you why. OneMen Pod loves cruises because I love nothing more than traveling somewhere and experiencing none of the culture.

对吧？我就想停在一个我从没去过、可能再也不会去的国家附近，看人家玩肚皮跳水比赛。懂吗？我想去有异国美食的地方旅行，然后只吃自助餐的炸鸡柳，再把六种口味的冰淇淋倒进裤裆里。这就是邮轮牛逼的原因。

Right? Like, I wanna be parked outside of a country that I've never been to, probably will never go to again, right, and watch a belly flopping contest. Right? I wanna travel to places with exotic cuisines and just eat chicken fingers from the buffet and pour pour six flavors ice cream down my pants. That's why cruises rule.

这就是他们为何强势回归。我们早已超越界限。这里是一分钟播客的尾声。一分钟播客由Bodhi制作，录制地点就在我的

That's why they're roaring back. We are way over. This has been the one minute podcast. The one minute podcast is produced by Bodhi and recorded in, my