居民

居民。

Denizen.

对我来说，整件事最难的部分是后勤问题。

The hardest part about the whole thing, for me at least, was the logistics.

当然，经历分手是困难的，甚至很痛苦。

Sure, going through a breakup was difficult, painful even.

但我感受到的情绪并没有像整理和搬走我们所有共同物品的负担那样压得我喘不过气。

But the emotions I felt didn't weigh on me as heavily as the burden of organizing and moving all of our shared possessions.

西比尔和我交往了四年，一起生活了三年。

Sybil and I had dated for four years and lived together for three.

而对我来说，这个过程中最艰难的部分，竟是拆分我们共同拥有的家具和厨具。

And somehow, the most arduous part of the process for me was decoupling our mutual assortment of furniture and kitchenware.

至少，这件事表明我们分开可能是最好的选择。

If nothing else, it served to show that our parting ways was probably for the best.

但这件事难道就没有其他需要揭示的了吗？

But was there really nothing else it served to show?

也许这揭示了我无法展现脆弱，无法与他人建立真正深厚的联系。

Nothing perhaps about my ability to be vulnerable, to form real substantive connections with people.

我让这个问题在脑海中悬而未决，转而专注于月底该住在哪里。

I left the question unanswered in my mind, opting to focus instead on where I was going to live at the end of the month.

我已向几处公寓和租赁房产提交了租赁申请，但一直未收到回复，使我陷入一种停滞状态——一种朝着不确定目的地移动的境地。

I had filled out lease applications at a few apartment complexes and rental properties but hadn't heard anything back, leaving me stuck in a limbo, a state of movement that was headed for an uncertain destination.

就在我开始担心最坏的情况——不得不借宿朋友沙发，或搬回父母家直到找到自己的住处时，我终于收到了一处回复。

And just when I was beginning to fear the worst, that I would have to crash on a friend's couch or stay with my parents until I could find a place of my own, I did hear back from a place.

而巧合的是，这竟是我最没想到会收到回复的地方。

And as it happened, it was one of the places I'd least expected to hear from.

我刚从常去的一家书店——Poor Tony's——开车回家时，看到了它：一栋小房子，远离道路，仿佛刻意被隐藏起来。

I'd been driving home from a bookstore I frequented called Poor Tony's when I saw it, a small house, set back a ways from the road as if it was meant to be hidden.

它虽然老旧，但状况尚可，门前有一条人字形砖砌小径，门楣上方是精致的拱窗。

It was old but in fair condition, a herringbone brick path leading to its porch, an ornate transom window above its front door.

在院子中，高大的梣树脚下，立着一块牌子，上面写着：出租，每月600美元。

In its yard, near the base of a towering boxelder tree, was a sign that read, for rent, $600 a month.

上面留了一个联系电话，我把它记了下来。

It included a phone number to call for inquiries, and I jotted it down.

我走近房子，透过窗户往里看，想一探内部情况。

I approached the house and looked in the windows to get a peek at the interior.

里面出乎意料地不错。

It was surprisingly nice.

没有看到任何明显的损坏或劣质维修的痕迹。

There was no visible damage or signs of shoddy repair work.

地毯有些脚印但很干净，墙壁上也只有轻微的污损。

The carpet was slightly tracked but clean, the walls showing only minor blemishes.

直到那时，我甚至没考虑过租整栋房子，也没想过我的预算能负担得起。

Up until that point, I hadn't even considered renting a whole house, hadn't imagined my budget would allow it.

但600美元实在太划算了，尽管房子不大，最多也就两三个卧室大小。

But $600 was a steal, even though the house was small, no bigger than two or three bedrooms at most.

当天晚些时候，我拨打了那个电话，确认他们出租的是整栋房子，而不是其中一间房间。

Later that day, I called the phone number to confirm that it was the whole house they were renting, not just one of the rooms.

我那时很绝望，但还没绝望到愿意和陌生人同住的地步。

I was desperate, but not quite desperate enough yet to live with a stranger.

他们告诉我，这确实是整栋房子，并且对我的说法——价格异常公道——显得有点困惑。

They told me that it was, in fact, the entire house and seemed almost confused at my suggestion that the price was unusually fair.

他们给我发了一份申请表和信用检查表，我填好后寄了回去。

They emailed me an application and credit check, and I filled them out and sent them back.

但过了一个半月，我本以为他们已经把房子租给别人了，直到我们搬出公寓前的几天，他们才给我发回了一份租赁合同。

But then a week and a half had gone by, and I'd expected that they'd rented the house to someone else Until just days before we had to move out of our apartment, they emailed me back with a lease to sign.

至少现在我知道了要搬去的地方，这让我减轻了一些搬家的压力。

It relieved me of some of the stress of the move to now at least know where I was moving to.

接下来我只需要把我们的东西分好，全部装进一辆货车里，这当然又累人又费时。

Then all I had to do was finish divvying up our things and pack it all up into a van, which predictably was uncomfortable and time consuming.

西比尔和我面无表情地在公寓里走来走去，几乎不互相看一眼，也不搭理对方。

Sybil and I walked around the apartment with stony faces, rarely making eye contact or acknowledging each other.

但当一切结束，我最后一次驾车离开这个充满沉默怨恨的地方时，我确实感到一种解脱，觉得更好的前景就在前方。

But when it was over and I was driving away from that place of silent resentment for the last time, I did feel a sense of relief, a sense that greener pastures were on the horizon.

到达新房子时，我本以为房东会在那里把钥匙交给我。

Upon arrival at the new house, I'd expected my landlord to be there to give me the key.

但相反，我收到一封电子邮件，指示我从前门的密码箱里取钥匙。

But instead, I got an email in my inbox with instructions to retrieve the key from the lockbox at the front door.

直到我进门之前，我内心仍有一部分觉得这背后一定有陷阱。

Up until the moment I got inside, there was a part of me that still expected there to be a catch.

在许多方面，这看起来好得令人难以置信。

It seemed, in many ways, too good to be true.

老实说，我曾觉得自己有点天真，竟在没实地看房的情况下就签了租约。

And to be honest, I had thought myself somewhat naive to have signed the lease without first doing a walk through.

但当我打开门走进去时，发现这房子舒适宜人。

But when I unlocked the door and stepped in, I found the home to be pleasant and comfortable.

没有刺鼻的气味，也没有虫鼠侵害的迹象。

There was no pungent odor, no signs of insect or rodent infestation.

所有电源插座都能正常使用，甚至连水压都还不错。

The electrical outlets all worked, and even the water pressure was decent.

墙壁和台面都很干净，我 inside 找到的唯一杂乱物品是一卷放在主走廊地板上的旧绳子。

The walls and countertops were clean, and the only clutter I found inside was an old coil of rope that sat on the floor in the main hallway.

我对这根绳子没什么用，就把它扔进了垃圾桶。

I had no use for the rope, so I tossed it in the trash.

然后我请了我的朋友本过来帮我搬东西，用比萨和一箱啤酒作为报酬。

Then I enlisted my friend, Ben, to come over and help me move my things inside, sweetening the deal with a pizza and a case of beer.

你是怎么找到这个地方的？

So how'd you find this place?

本一边和我一起费力地把床垫抬进门，一边问道。

Ben asked as we struggled through the door with my mattress.

我开车经过时偶然注意到的，我说。

I just noticed it driving by, I said.

本说。

Ben said.

什么？

What?

哦，没什么，他告诉我。

Oh, nothing, he told me.

我只是觉得我以前不知道多少次开过这条街，但以前从来没注意到这里。

It's just I feel like I've driven down this street tons of times, but I've never noticed it here before.

是啊。

Yeah.

不过我喜欢这一点，我说。

I kinda like that about it though, I said.

它很私密。

It's private.

这点毫无疑问，本说。

No doubt about that, Ben said.

而且这是一块很大的地产。

And it's a nice big property.

房主人好吗？

Are the owners cool?

我不知道，我说。

I don't know, I said.

我还没见过他们。

I haven't met them.

有一瞬间，本似乎没抓稳床垫，差点摔倒。

For a moment, Ben seemed to lose his grip on the mattress and nearly stumbled.

你还没见过他们？

You haven't met them?

没有。

No.

但我的意思是，这地方不错，我说，现在我也在努力抓紧床垫。

But, I mean, it's a nice place, I said, struggling with my own grasp on the mattress now.

我觉得这事儿挺顺利的。

I'd say it worked out pretty well.

是啊，”当我们终于到达卧室并放下东西时，本说。

Yeah, Ben said as we finally reached the bedroom and set the load down.

我只是觉得，我从未在没见过房东的情况下租过房子。

I just don't think I've ever rented a place without meeting the people renting it to me.

好吧，如果你更愿意的话，我们可以取消整个安排，我搬去你那里住，我告诉他。

Well, if you'd rather, we can call the whole thing off and I'll move into your place, I told him.

不用。

No.

我觉得你在这里会过得很好的，”本说着，一边用手拍了拍床垫，转身朝货车走去。

I reckon you'll do fine here, said Ben, patting the mattress with one hand as he turned and headed back to the van.

在接下来的时间里，我在房子里过得很好。

And in the time that followed, I did do fine in the house.

我 unpacked 我的东西，整理了我的卧室，把电视挂到墙上，还连上了互联网。

I unpacked my things and organized my bedroom, mounted my TV on the wall, and got the Internet working.

由于一半的家具都是西布尔的，客厅和厨房显得有点空荡。

Since half the furniture had been Sibbles, the living room and kitchen were a bit sparse.

但随着时间推移，我陆续买了需要替换的东西。

But over time, I bought the things I needed to replace.

其中一件物品就是一台吸尘器。

One such item was a vacuum cleaner.

那台旧的原来是她的。

The old one had been hers.

既然我现在要买自己的吸尘器，而且我非常讨厌吸尘，于是我决定买一台新型的扫地机器人，它能自己打扫整个房子。

And since I was getting my own vacuum cleaner now, and I absolutely loathed vacuuming, I decided to buy one of those new robot vacuums that cleans the house by itself.

当这个设备装在大箱子里送到我门口时，我把它搬进屋并拆开了包装。

When the device arrived on my porch in a big box, I took it inside and unpacked it.

它附带一个充电底座，甚至还能连接到我手机上的应用程序，显示每天它打扫过的房间区域。

It came with a docking station where it charged and it even connected to an app on my phone that showed the areas of the house where it cleaned each day.

很快，我就对它产生了一种喜爱之情。

Rather quickly, I developed a kind of fondness for it.

我以前从不是养宠物的人。

I hadn't ever been a pet person.

我对猫过敏，也害怕养狗所带来的责任。

I was allergic to cats and feared the responsibility that came with dog ownership.

但某种程度上，我开始把吸尘器看作像宠物一样，它会周期性地在房子里慢悠悠地转悠，然后像我所认为的那样，回到充电座上休息。

But in some ways, I began to see the vacuum as something like a pet, periodically moseying around the house and then sleeping, as I came to think of it, in its charging station.

有时，当我上班时，想知道我的小伙伴在做什么，就会打开手机上的应用程序，查看它当天探索了房间的哪些区域。

Occasionally, when I was at work and wondered what my little companion was doing, I would check on it by pulling up the app on my phone and looking at which parts of the floor plan it had explored that day.

但有一天，当我打开应用程序时，我看到了一些奇怪的东西。

One day, though, when I opened the app, I saw something strange.

似乎吸尘器在清理连接两个小卧室与厨房和起居室的走廊时，偏离了已映射的范围，清理了一个我所知并不存在的区域。

It seemed while the vacuum had cleaned the hallway that connected the house's two small bedrooms to the kitchen and living area, it had veered beyond the mapped outline and cleaned a part of the house that, to my knowledge, didn't exist.

就好像这台机器发现了一个隐藏的壁龛，就在走廊拐角处，离我发现那卷绳子的地方出奇地近。

It was as though the machine had found a hidden alcove where the hallway rounded a corner, not far from the spot where I'd found the coil of rope, oddly enough.

吸尘器似乎发现的区域穿过了走廊的墙壁，穿过浴室与第二间卧室之间的墙，甚至似乎延伸到了房屋轮廓之外。

The area that the vacuum apparently discovered went through the hallway wall, through the wall separating the bathroom from the second bedroom, and seemed to continue even beyond the footprint of the house.

我盯着手机屏幕看了好几秒钟，试图理解我所看到的一切。

I stared at my phone's screen for a good few seconds, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

我第一个念头是，也许我不小心把门敞开了，吸尘器跑到了外面，在院子里四处转悠。

My first thought was that perhaps I had left the door open by accident and the vacuum had gone outside and roamed around the yard.

但这说不通。

But that didn't make sense.

它似乎发现的开口离前门远得很。

The opening it seemed to have found was nowhere near the front door.

而且，这台小机器根本不可能 maneuver 过门框或前门廊的混凝土台阶，然后再爬回来。

And furthermore, there was no way the little machine could have maneuvered the door jamb or the concrete step on the front porch and then climbed back inside.

所以我想，一定是真空吸尘器出故障了，错误报告了它的路线。

So the vacuum had just glitched out, I thought, misreported its route.

这是唯一看似合理的解释。

That was the only explanation that seemed reasonable.

那天晚上我回家时，发现吸尘器已经回到充电座上，干净整洁，没有任何在院子里翻找过的迹象。

When I got home that evening, I found the vacuum back in its charging station, clean and showing no signs of having rummaged around the yard.

我走到走廊上，来到那个看不见的壁龛似乎存在的位置，但没看到任何开口，也没有秘密通道。

I walked down the hall to the spot where the unseen alcove appeared to have been, but I saw no opening, no secret passageway.

不过，为了逗自己开心，我还是伸出手按了按墙。

Just to humor myself, though, I reached out and pressed on the wall.

它很坚固，纹丝不动。

It was firm, unmoving.

当然了，我对自己说。

Of course it is, I told myself.

这是一堵墙。

It's a wall.

我坚持认为只是吸尘器出了故障，然后继续忙我的事。

I contended that there must have simply been a malfunction on the vacuum's part and went on about my business.

但后来又发生了。

But then it happened again.

我手机上的应用告诉我，吸尘器进入了它那奇异的、看不见的领域，而且这次似乎走得更远了，仿佛它在试图绘制出超越房屋墙壁之外的房间的尺寸。

The app on my phone told me the vacuum had traveled into its strange, unseen realm, and it seemed it had gone even further this time, as if it was trying to map out the dimensions of a room that extended beyond the walls of the house.

尽管我告诉自己这次也仅仅是系统故障，但有些夜晚，当我起身去洗手间或喝水时，会停在走廊的那处地方，凝视着那面墙，仿佛期待它在我眼前打开，露出某个隐藏的隔间、某个不可能的异界房间。

And though I told myself that this time too it was only a bug in the system, there were nights when I got up to go to the bathroom or to get a drink of water and would stop at that spot in the hallway and gaze for a moment at the wall as if I expected it to open before my eyes and reveal some hidden compartment, some impossible otherworldly chamber.

这个想法让我感到不安，无论它看起来多么荒谬。

There was something about the idea that made me uneasy, no matter how ridiculous it seemed.

我曾想过，我的恐惧可能源于这是我人生中第一次独自生活。

I considered the possibility that my fear was stimulated by the fact that for the first time in my life, I was living alone.

没有家人，没有室友，也没有女朋友。

No family, no roommate, no girlfriend.

作为一个27岁的男人，害怕黑暗、害怕那些超出我感知范围的神秘事物，这似乎很荒谬。

It seemed absurd that as a 27 year old man, I could be scared of the dark, of mysterious things that loom just outside my perception.

但我确实害怕。

But I was.

这让我想起，如果我和西比尔还住在一起，我们俩会拿这种事开玩笑。

It reminded me of the type of thing that Sybil and I would joke about if we still lived together.

哎呀，吸尘器又溜进它的秘密洞穴了。

Oop, looks like the vacuum cleaner wandered into its secret cave again.

但因为屋里只有我一个人，这事儿不再好笑，反而让人不安。

But being that it was just me in the house, it wasn't as entertaining as it was unsettling.

每当这种念头浮现时，我才意识到我多么想念西比尔。

In moments when such a realization dawned on me, I realized just how much I missed Sybil.

我多么希望我们之间能有个好结果。

How much I wished things had worked out between us.

我怀疑，我那些复杂的情绪是否就是这一切的原因。

I wondered if my fraught emotions were the reason for the whole thing.

我只是感到孤单吗？

Was I just lonely?

晚上在房子里四处寻找根本不存在的东西？

Walking around the house at night searching for things that weren't there?

寻找一种与自我之外的某种事物的联系。

For a connection with something outside myself.

我试着减少独处的时间，走出家门，彻底把我的小吸尘器那些荒诞的冒险抛在脑后。

I tried to spend less time alone, to get out of the house and put the preposterous journeys of my little vacuum cleaner behind me for good.

我不再查看手机上的应用程序，也不再在夜里凝视黑暗走廊的角落。

I stopped checking the app on my phone, stopped gazing at the corner of the dark hallway at night.

有一段时间，我感觉好多了，不再那么孤单，也不再那么害怕那些看不见的东西。

And for a while, I felt better, less alone, less afraid of things I couldn't see.

但就在某天清晨，太阳还未升起，我躺在床上，听见了敲门声。

But then, very early one morning, with the sun still hours from rising, I awoke in my bed to a knock at the door.

我躺在那里，双眼大睁，试图弄清楚是谁在敲门。

I lay there, my eyes open wide, trying to ascertain who it might be.

我想，也许是个喝醉了从酒吧回家的人，误敲了我家的门。

Perhaps it was someone walking home drunk from the bar who had mistakenly approached the wrong house, I thought.

我静静地躺了很久，但当敲门声再次响起时，我悄悄起身，没有开灯，蹑手蹑脚地沿着走廊走向前门。

I remained there for some time, but when the knock came again, I rose quietly and, without turning on any lights, crept down the hall toward the front of the house.

我想看看外面是谁，但前门没有猫眼，客厅的窗户也看不清门廊的情况。

I wanted to get a look at who was out there, but the front door had no peephole, and the living room window didn't give me much of a view of the porch.

于是我溜到厨房，搬来一把椅子，放在门前面。

So I stole to the kitchen, retrieved a chair, and placed it in front of the door.

然后我小心地站到椅子上，从门上方的窗户往外张望。

Then I carefully stepped on top of it and peered through the window above the door.

但那时，外面已经一个人也没有了。

But by then, nobody was there.

敲门的人不见了。

The door knocker was gone.

我把椅子放回厨房，又回到了床上，但再也睡不着了。

I put the chair back in the kitchen and went back to bed, but I couldn't fall back asleep.

最终，我起床了，决定开始准备一天的事务。

Eventually, I got up and decided to just get ready for my day.

然而，在我日常忙碌时，这件事却一直萦绕在我脑海中。

As I went about my routine, though, I couldn't get the episode out of my head.

我想知道是谁在那么晚的时候来敲我的门。

I wanted to know who it was that had approached my door so late at night.

更重要的是，我想知道他们是否会再回来。

And more importantly, I wanted to be able to know if they came back.

我决定买一个门铃摄像头，这样如果有人在深夜或我不在家时来敲门，我就能看到他们是谁。

I decided to purchase a doorbell camera so that if anyone ever came to my door when it was late or I wasn't home, I'd be able to see who they were.

我订购了这个设备，到货后，我把它安装在了前门旁边的墙上。

I ordered the device, and when it showed up, I installed it on the wall next to the front door.

和吸尘器一样，它可以通过手机应用连接，当有人靠近门时，我可以查看摄像头的实时画面。

Like the vacuum, it connected to an app on my phone that I could use to view the camera's feed when it was triggered by someone approaching the door.

起初我很高兴有了它，但来访的人并不多，至少没有多少是我没预料到的。

I was glad to have it at first, but I didn't get that many visitors, at least not many that I wasn't already expecting.

所以有一段时间，我觉得自己买这个摄像头有点傻，觉得在预算已经很紧张的情况下，这是一笔有点不必要的开销。

So for a while, I felt a bit silly about buying the camera, thought it a somewhat unnecessary purchase for my already tight budget.

但后来有一天晚上，我躺在床上时，门又被敲响了。

But then, one night, as I was lying in bed, a knock came to my door yet again.

我无法确定这是否是几周前敲门的那个人，但某种模糊的直觉告诉我，就是他。

I had no way of knowing whether it was the same person who had knocked a few weeks before, but some vague inclination told me it was.

那种敲门声的质感，刺耳地回荡在房屋寂静的墙壁间。

Something about the way it sounded, reverberating harshly through the quiet walls of the house.

我立刻从床上弹了起来。

Immediately, I shot up in bed.

我坐在黑暗中，一时不知该如何是好。

For a moment, I sat there in the darkness, not sure what to do.

但这时我想起了摄像头。

But then I remembered the camera.

我从床头柜上抓起手机，打开应用，屏幕的蓝光映照在我的脸上。

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and opened the app, the screen casting a blue glow over my face.

当我看清门口那人时，既吓得我动弹不得，又让我想立刻起身检查门是否锁好了。

What I saw, when the person on my doorstep came into focus, simultaneously frightened me into immobility and made me want to get up and check that my doors were locked.

那个人看起来没有携带武器。

The person did not appear to have a weapon.

他外表并不显得具有威胁性或攻击性。

They didn't look outwardly threatening or aggressive.

但他的存在本身却让我感到不安。

It was something else about their presence that made me squirm.

他表情异常呆滞。

They appeared disturbingly expressionless.

他的面容如此平淡无奇，我几乎以为他戴着面具。

Their features so plain and unremarkable, I almost thought they were wearing a mask.

他们没有像大多数人等开门时那样环顾四周、坐立不安或查看手机。

They didn't glance around or fidget or check their phone like most people do when they're waiting for someone to open a door.

他们只是直视前方，宛如一尊写实的雕像。

They just stared straight ahead, like a photorealistic statue.

他们看起来像一个男人，尽管只是隐约如此。

They looked like a man, though only vaguely so.

他们的外表带有一种中性气质。

There was a sort of androgynous nature to their appearance.

他们的头发短而极其整齐，脸部几乎过于对称，没有任何细微的瑕疵。

Their hair was short and incredibly neat, and their face looked almost too symmetrical, free of even the slightest imperfection.

他们脸颊光滑，下颌线条分明，鼻子笔直且形状均匀，是我见过最完美的。

They had smooth cheeks but a sharply defined jaw, and a nose straighter and more evenly shaped than any I had ever seen.

他们穿着一件一尘不染的白衬衫，扣子一直扣到领口，双臂无力地垂在身侧。

They wore a spotless white shirt, buttoned all the way to the collar, their arms hanging flaccidly at their sides.

除了摄像头，门铃还配有扬声器，让我能与门口的人对话。

Along with the camera, the doorbell had a speaker on it that allowed me to communicate with people at the door.

我按了按钮，以便通过它说话。

I pressed the button so I could talk through it.

需要帮忙吗？

Can I help you?

我问道。

I asked.

那个人缓缓转过身，将注意力从门转向门铃。

The person turned slowly, redirecting their focus from the door to the doorbell.

良久，他们只是呆呆地盯着摄像头。

For a long moment, they just gaped at the camera.

哦，你好，他们终于用柔和而平稳的语气说道。

Oh, hello, they said finally in a soft, even tone.

很抱歉打扰你，但你看，我搬来之前就住在这里，似乎我搬走时落下了一些东西。

I am sorry to bother you, but you see, I used to live here before you did, and it seems I might have left something behind when I moved out.

您能否好心让我进去取回它？

Would you kindly let me inside to reclaim it?

我记得当时既感到困惑又不安，不仅因为对方的请求模糊而古怪，还因为他们的说话方式异常冷静。

I remember feeling both confused and perturbed, not only at their vague and frankly bizarre request, but at their eerily controlled manner of speaking as well.

我在想，他们是不是在找那卷旧绳子。

I wondered if it was the old coil of rope that they were looking for.

我不明白那东西有什么重要，也不明白为什么把它丢下就要在深夜登门，要求让我放他们进来。

I didn't know what could be so important about it, didn't see how leaving it behind could warrant showing up at my house late at night requesting to be let inside.

即使真是那根绳子，我也已经没有了。

And even if it was the rope, I didn't have it anymore.

我搬进来的时候没看到任何东西，我说。

I don't remember seeing anything when I moved in, I said.

你确定你把它丢在这里了吗？

Are you sure you left it here?

我相当确定，他们回答道。

I am fairly certain, they replied.

你可能没注意到它。

You might not have noticed it.

很容易就会错过。

It is very easy to miss.

好吧，我说道，一边拖延时间，试图组织好回应的语言。

Well, I said, stalling while I tried to articulate a response.

你能不能告诉我它长什么样？如果我找到了，我就拿出去给你。

Why don't you tell me what it looks like, and if I find it, I'll bring it out to you.

自从我们开始交谈以来，访客第一次露出了一丝类似表情的表情。

For the first time since we had begun talking, the visitor formed something akin to a facial expression.

他们的嘴角微微上扬，露出整齐洁白的牙齿，但眼睛却睁得很大，目光凌厉。

Their mouth was curved, immaculately straight teeth exposed, but their eyes were wide and glaring.

他们看起来像是想微笑，却没能真正表达出任何快乐或喜悦的情绪。

They looked like they were trying to smile, but falling just short of expressing any kind of emotion like happiness or joy.

我觉得如果你让我进去，会更容易些，他们说。

I think it would be easier if you just let me come in, they said.

我知道这很麻烦，但我保证很快就会结束。

I know it is a nuisance, but I promise it will end quickly.

我觉得，这话真奇怪。

What a weird thing to say, I thought.

会很快结束？

It will end quickly?

我想我还是更希望你告诉我你需要什么，我帮你拿出去，我说。

I think I'd really just prefer you tell me what you need and let me bring it out to you, I said.

那个人又露出了那不完全的微笑。

The person flashed their not quite smile again.

你为什么觉得需要抗拒呢？

Why do you feel the need to be resistant?

他们问道。

They asked.

我再次被他们的措辞震惊了。

I was stricken again by their phrasing.

他们说话的方式有一种极其不自然的感觉。

There was something so unnatural about the way they spoke.

这些话本身就很奇怪，但它们被说出来的方式却毫无语调，更令人不安。

The words themselves were peculiar, but the way they were uttered, drained of any inflection, was even more disconcerting.

听着，我说，我的声音有些颤抖。

Listen, I said, my voice wavering.

你半夜十一点跑到我家，还要求让我放你进来？

You show up at my house at 11PM and start asking to be let inside?

对不起，但你到底叫什么名字？

I'm sorry, but what's your name anyway?

你说你以前住在这里？

You said you used to live here?

门口的那个人转过头去，好像要离开，但随后又回头看向摄像头，走近几步，直到他们那张比例完美的脸填满了整个屏幕。

The person on my porch glanced away like they were turning to leave, but then they looked back at the camera and stepped closer, leaning in until their perfectly proportioned face filled the whole screen.

经过长时间的停顿后，他们说：‘我看得出你此刻并不愿意配合我，但我希望你能明白，最终你还是需要服从我。’

I can see you are not willing to accommodate me at this time, they said after a long pause, but I hope you understand that eventually you will need to comply with me.

这对咱们每个人来说都是最好的结果。

That is the best outcome for each of us.

说完，访客转过身，渐渐消失在摄像头无法捕捉的黑暗中。

With that, the visitor turned and walked away, receding gradually into the darkness beyond the camera's perception.

他们离开后，我仍盯着屏幕看了几分钟，不知为何坚信他们会回来。

I continued watching the screen for several minutes after they were gone, convinced for some reason that they would come back.

即使我最终把手机收起来，我脑海中挥之不去的仍是他们那张异常完美的脸、那番古怪的请求，以及他们离开时流露出的明显威胁。

And even when I did finally put my phone away, all I could think about was their uncannily flawless face, their awkward request, and the apparent threat they departed with.

就像之前真空事件一样，这次令人不安的夜间访客最终又让我想起了西比尔。

Just as the vacuum incident had, the upsetting nighttime visitor ultimately led me back to thoughts of Sybil.

我躺在床上，凝视着天花板，黎明的微光缓缓填满房间，我意识到的不仅是自己多么想念西比尔，还有我对她的怨恨。

Lying there in bed, staring at the ceiling as the light of dawn's approach slowly filled the room with detail, I realized not only that I missed Sybil, but that I resented her.

我明白，如果不是她那不顾后果的决定，我此刻就不会心烦意乱、彻夜难眠，怀疑自己是不是精神出了问题，或者正被某种无法解释的力量骚扰。

I realized that if it weren't for her heedless decision making, I wouldn't be distressed and wide awake, wondering whether I was losing my mind or being harassed by a means that defied explanation.

如果我和她还在一起，这一切阴森荒唐的事根本不会发生。

If she and I were still together, none of this sinister nonsense would have unfolded.

早上起床后，我决定联系房东，报告这次事件。

When I got up in the morning, I decided to contact my landlord about the incident.

我给他们发了一封邮件，解释了深夜有前租客来访的事，并说明尽管他们坚持这么说，但我家里并没有属于他们的任何东西。

I wrote them an email explaining my late night visit from their disgruntled previous tenant, and explained that despite their insistence, I had nothing that belonged to them in the house.

一两个小时后，我的房东回复了，语气显得既困惑又不耐烦。

An hour or two later, my landlord responded in a tone that read as somewhere between confused and annoyed.

他们感谢我联系他们，但解释说这栋房子没有前租客。

They thanked me for reaching out, but explained that the house had no previous tenant.

他们说，这栋房子在被他们的物业管理公司购入并出租之前，已经空置了大约十年。

They said it had been uninhabited for about ten years before being purchased by their property management company and put up for rent.

他们坚持说，我是他们的第一个租客。

I, they insisted, was their first tenant.

我没有理由认为他们在撒谎，但内心的一部分却难以接受他们的话为事实。

I had no real reason to think they were lying, but a part of me struggled to accept their word as fact.

也许我宁愿相信这一切只是一个误会，那个深夜敲门、要求进门的长相怪异的人是好意的，只要我能弄清楚他们想找什么并归还给他们，他们就会离开我。

Perhaps I wanted to believe that the whole thing was a simple misunderstanding, that the odd looking person who had approached my house late at night demanding to be let inside was well intentioned, and that if I could just figure out what it was they were looking for and return it to them, they would leave me alone.

我甚至短暂地考虑过去五金店买一根绳子，如果他们回来就交给他们，解释说我之前忘了这东西，但我确定这是我搬进来时房子里唯一剩下的物品，如果他们还有其他不满，可以联系我的房东。

Briefly, I even considered going to the hardware store and purchasing a length of rope to offer them if they returned, explaining that I had forgotten about it, but that I was certain it was the only thing left in the house when I had moved in, and that if they had any other grievances, they could contact my landlord.

这一切对我来说都毫无意义，但我仍然希望能解决这个问题。

None of it made any sense to me, but I was still eager to resolve the situation if I could.

那天下班后，我走到邻居家，敲了敲门。

After work that day, I walked over to my neighbor's house and knocked on their door.

我以前只见过一次这位邻居，一位名叫普鲁登斯的年长女士，我们只简单交谈过几句。

I had met the neighbor, an elderly lady named Prudence, once before, but we had only exchanged a few words.

她开门时，我眯起眼睛，用枯瘦的手掌遮挡阳光的刺眼光芒。

When she answered the door, I squinted, a frail palm raised to block out the sun's glare.

我向她讲述了那位访客的事，问她是否有人曾住在附近，长得像那样。

I told her about my visitor and asked her if anyone like that had ever lived in the area.

我试图向普鲁登斯描述那个人的样子，但我只是不断说：他看起来很奇怪，或者也可能很普通，太普通了，就像人偶那种感觉。

I tried to explain how the person had looked to Prudence, but I just kept saying things like, they looked like a very weird person, or maybe like a very normal person, too normal, like the way a mannequin or something looks.

从她脸上的表情来看，我的解释反而让她更加困惑。

Judging by the expression on her face, these efforts just confused Prudence.

但接着，我意识到我可以直接给她看手机里的录像。

Then, though, I realized I could just show her the footage on my phone.

当我点开录像并举到她面前时，她立刻显得不安起来。

When I clicked on the recording and held it up to her face, she seemed immediately unnerved.

她没有明说，但身体向后缩了缩，眉头紧皱。

She didn't say so, but she kind of reared back and scrunched up her brow.

从来没有人住过我的房子吗？

No one like that has ever lived in my house?

我问道。

I asked.

没有，她肯定地回答。

No, she said definitively.

我猜你也没在附近见过这样的人，我说。

And I assume you've never seen anyone like that around the neighborhood, I said.

我想没有，她告诉我。

I don't think so, she told me.

不过我的眼睛当然不如从前了。

Although my eyes certainly aren't what they used to be.

我为打扰她道歉，并感谢她的时间，但当我转身离开时，她只是困惑地看着我。

I apologized for bothering her and thanked her for her time, but she just looked at me perplexedly as I turned and walked away.

回到家后，我感到身心俱疲。

When I got home, I felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

我再也不想见到那位访客那张令人恐惧的面孔。

I never wanted to see the visitor's uniquely frightening face again.

但如果他们真要回来，正如他们坚持说的那样，我希望他们尽快来，好早点了结此事。

But if they were going to come back, as they insisted they would, I wanted them to do it soon, to get it over with.

接下来的几个夜晚，我沉默地等待着，被时间缓慢的流逝折磨着。

I spent the nights that followed waiting in silence, tormented by the slow passage of time.

我的生活仿佛进入了暂停状态，我的兴趣和欲望都被冻结，只为了等待那个令人烦恼的噩梦结束。

It was like my life was put on standby, my interests and desires arrested while I waited for that vexing nightmare to end.

然而，大约一周后，当门终于被敲响时，我却不知道该如何回应。

And yet, after a week or so, when a knock did finally come to my door, I didn't know how to respond.

我起初想过再次通过门铃与访客交流，但最终我站起来，自信地走到门口，用我最坚定的声音问道：‘是谁？’

I thought at first about interacting with the visitor through the doorbell again, but instead, I got up, walked confidently to the door, and asked, in my most assertive voice, who was there?

一阵漫长的沉默后，一个平静而无动于衷的声音回答道：我想你已经知道我是谁了。

There was a long silence before a calm and impassive voice replied, I expect you already know who it is.

我几乎不加思索地伸出手，解锁了门，只打开了一条缝，瞥见外面世界的一角。

Almost without thinking, I reached out and unlocked the door, opening it just enough to see a sliver of the outside world.

那时已是黄昏，访客的轮廓被夕阳余晖勾勒出来。

It was twilight then, the visitor's silhouette defined by the sun's failing glow.

他们真人看起来比在手机上时更加不自然。

They looked somehow even more unnatural in person than they did on my phone.

在数字设备上看到如此怪异异常的人是一回事，但亲眼目睹这样一个标本站在你面前，完全是另一回事。

It was one thing to see someone that grotesquely abnormal on a digital device, but it was another thing entirely to look at such a specimen standing before me.

他们没有皱纹或晒斑，也没有痣或雀斑。

They had no wrinkles or tan lines, no moles or freckles.

他们的皮肤如此洁净光滑，简直像一层乳胶膜紧贴在身上。

Their skin was so clean and smooth it looked almost like a latex membrane stretched over their body.

他们的眼睛是冰冷的蓝色，似乎从不眨眼，只是用呆滞的冷漠注视着我。

Their eyes were an icy shade of blue, and they didn't seem to blink, just followed me with glassy indifference.

他们比我矮得多，也更瘦，体型和他们的脸一样毫无性别特征。

They were significantly shorter than me and leaner too, their body type just as sexless as their face.

有那么一瞬间，我站在那里，透过门缝凝视着他们，不禁怀疑自己是否真的在看一个活人。

For a moment, as I stood there peering out at them through the narrow opening, I found myself wondering whether I was even looking at a person.

你想要什么？

What do you want?

我苦涩地问道。

I asked bitterly.

你其实也知道答案，他们说。

You already know the answer to that too, they said.

近距离看着他们，我意识到他们说话时嘴巴几乎不动。

Seeing them up close, I realized how little their mouth moved when they talked.

就好像他们在表演腹语术一样。

It was like they were doing some sort of ventriloquist act.

我问过我的房东关于你的事，我说。

I asked my landlord about you, I said.

他们告诉我，在我之前没人住在这里。

They told me nobody lived here before me.

访客又做出了他们那夸张的微笑，说：嗯，也许你的房东并不了解这栋房子里发生过的一切。

The visitor did their lurid approximation of a smile again and said, well, perhaps your landlord is not aware of everything that has gone on in the walls of this house.

也许这里发生的一些事情，他们根本无法理解。

Perhaps there are things that happen here that they do not understand.

这里发生的一些事情，是你无法理解的吗？

Are there things that happen here that you do not understand?

这到底是什么意思？

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

我急忙问道，尽管我怀疑他们知道我完全明白他们的意思。

I asked hastily, though I suspected they knew I understood their question perfectly.

所以你是说他们错了？

So you're saying they're wrong?

你确实住在这里过？

You did live here?

我确实住在这里，访客说。

I did live here, the visitor said.

我现在住在这里，将来也会继续住在这里。

And I live here now, and I will live here in the future.

只要这栋房子还在，我就会一直居住其中。

As long as this house stands, I will inhabit it.

我想当着他们的面把门摔上。

I wanted to slam the door in their face.

我既生气又害怕，但我也希望这个怪人从我的生活中消失。

I was equal parts aggravated and afraid, but I also wanted that freak out of my life.

到那时，我相当确定，除非我至少敷衍一下他们，否则他们是不会放过我的。

And by that point, I was fairly certain they weren't going to leave me alone until I at least humored them.

听好了。

Look.

我不知道你到底是什么情况，不管你是不是非法占用者，我都希望你的这些造访能就此结束。

I don't know what your deal is, whether you're a squatter or something, but I would really like your little visits to end.

如果我允许你们寻找你们认为丢在这里的东西，你们能答应从此不再打扰我吗？

If I let you look for whatever it is you think you left here, do you promise to leave me alone?

是的，他们说。

Yes, they said.

这正是我所要求的。

That is all I ask.

我叹了口气，侧身让开，把门大大地打开，好让他们进来。

Sighing, I stepped aside and opened the door wide enough for them to enter.

他们迈着缓慢而谨慎的步伐走进来，几乎不环顾四周，也不理会周围的环境，只是直视前方，穿过客厅向前走。

They came in with slow, measured steps, scarcely looking around or acknowledging their surroundings, just staring straight ahead as they advanced through the living room.

我不愿意和他们待在房子里，所以站在出口附近，手扶着门保持敞开。

I didn't want to be inside the house with them, so I hovered close to the exit with the door held open.

我不知道他们到底想找什么，也绝不会让他们带走任何我的东西，但我打算给他们一两分钟时间到处看看，然后再送他们出门，从此彻底消失在我的生活里。

I didn't know what it was I was expecting them to find, and I certainly wasn't going to let them leave the house with anything of mine, but I figured I would give them a minute or two to poke around before I showed them to the door and out of my life for good.

我看着他们继续穿过客厅，走进走廊。

I watched them continue through the living room and into the hallway.

当他们经过浴室时，我朝他们喊道：‘嘿，别走远，我要能看见你。’

As they passed the bathroom, I called out to them, Hey, stay where I can see you.

好吗？

Okay?

我不希望你进我的卧室。

I don't want you going in my bedroom.

当他们走到走廊的拐角处——那个我曾无数次伫立、凝视那些不可见之物的地方——他们停了下来。

When they reached the bend in the hallway, the spot where I myself had stood so many times, contemplating things that can't be seen, they stopped.

他们低头看着地面，然后又回头看向我，眼中闪烁着一种可怕的空洞。

They looked down at the ground and then back at me, eyes animated by a dreadful emptiness.

一股不安的恐惧感席卷了我，我下意识地移开了视线。

An uncomfortable wave of dread swept through me, and I impulsively looked away.

当我再次回头时，已经看不到他们了。

When I glanced back, I could no longer see them.

他们似乎消失在了拐角后面。

It seemed they had disappeared behind the corner.

嘿！

Hey!

我喊着，追了进去。

I shouted, heading in after them.

我说过别进卧室。

I said stay out of the bedrooms.

我快步沿着走廊跑过去，但转过拐角时，却没看到那位访客。

I hurried down the hallway, but when I rounded the corner, I didn't see the visitor.

我先冲进卧室，然后又冲进几乎空无一物的客房，但哪儿都找不到他们。

I rushed first into my bedroom and then into the mostly empty spare room, but I couldn't find them anywhere.

我知道他们没离开，因为如果他们走了，我一定会看到，但不知为何，他们也不在我房子里。

I knew they hadn't left because I would have seen them if they did, but somehow they weren't inside my house either.

我检查了床底下、每个衣柜和橱柜，甚至打开了阁楼的活板门往上看。

I looked under my bed, in every closet and cabinet, I even popped open the attic hatch and looked up there.

但即使我已经搜遍了房子的每一个角落，我仍坚信那位访客依然在那里。

But even after I had searched every square inch of the house, I was still plagued by the conviction that somehow, the visitor remained there.

我检查了门铃摄像头，想着也许我只是没看到他们离开，但令人费解的是，录像中完全没有他们出门离开的画面。

I checked the doorbell camera, considering that perhaps I just hadn't seen them leave, but, inexplicably, there was no footage of them exiting and walking away.

我努力说服自己，这一切只是某种恶作剧，可能是附近某个调皮鬼在拿我开玩笑。

I endeavored to convince myself that it was all just a ruse of some kind, that some local prankster was simply having a laugh at my expense.

我认为，说访客仍然在房子里，这简直是荒谬的。

To assert that the visitor was still inside the house was ludicrous, I thought.

尽管通过观察，我可以确认屋内没有人，但我的内心仍有一部分坚信事实并非如此。

And even though, by mere observation, I could confirm that no one was there, a part of me was still convinced otherwise.

在房子里不安地走了大约一个小时后，我试图躺下放松，但我太紧张兴奋了，根本睡不着。

After an hour or so of walking restlessly around the house, I tried to lie down and relax, but I was too tense and excitable to sleep.

整晚，我都被模糊的声响和若有若无的动静惊醒。

All throughout the night, I jolted at muffled sounds and vague indications of movement.

一道黑影从门边掠过，或者地板发出吱呀声，但当我转身查看时，却什么都没看到。

A shadow would flit past the door, or the floor would creak, but when I turned to look, I'd see nothing there.

我本以为自己的紧张情绪会随着时间慢慢消退。

I expected my nerves would ebb with time.

但我并不知道具体过了多久。

Exactly how much time, though, I didn't know.

日复一夜，我被模糊的声音和一闪而过的身影惊醒，情况似乎并没有好转。

Night after night, I was startled awake by indeterminate sounds and fleeting figures, and it didn't seem like things were getting any better.

我告诉自己这都是幻觉，但这几乎无法安慰我。

I told myself that it was all my imagination, but that was little consolation.

我需要确认没有人在那里，需要确凿的证据。

I needed to know no one was there, to have confirmation.

于是，在一个深夜，我因睡眠不足而愤怒，走到门廊上卸下了门铃摄像头。

So late one night, sleep deprived and incensed, I went out to the porch and unscrewed the doorbell camera.

我把设备带进屋里，把它安装在我卧室外的墙上。

I brought the device inside and attached it to the wall outside my bedroom.

这样，它就能捕捉到夜晚任何超自然的现象。

There, it would be able to capture any spectral occurrences in the night.

当我把摄像头拧到墙上时，我忍不住想，西比尔晚上睡得怎么样。

I wondered, as I screwed the camera to the wall, how well Sybil was sleeping at night.

她大概从未怀疑过自己的理智，也没有被无形的实体骚扰。

She probably wasn't losing faith in her sanity or being harassed by unseen entities.

如果我和她还在一起，我想我也不会这样，

And I wouldn't be either, I thought, if the two of us were still together.

她意识到这一点了吗？

Did she realize that?

她意识到我所经历的彻底疯狂了吗？

Did she realize the utter insanity that had been visited upon me?

我们的分离给我带来了怎样的折磨？

What our separation had put me through?

当然，她没有。

Of course, she didn't.

更糟糕的是，即使她 aware，我也相当确信她根本不会在意。

And what was even worse was that even if she was aware, I was relatively confident she wouldn't even care.

她根本不关心我，不关心我的福祉，无论她怎么说。

She had no concern for me, for my well-being, no matter what she said.