AEE：如何用英语分享你的经历

这里是《全神贯注学英语》播客。教你如何用英语分享你的经历。欢迎收听下载量突破2亿次的《全神贯注学英语》播客。是否觉得英语学习陷入瓶颈？我们将教你通过注重交流而非完美，变得自信流利。

This is the All Ears English podcast. How to share what you've been through in English. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast, downloaded more than 200,000,000 times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection.

由美国主持人林赛·麦克马洪（英语冒险家）和米歇尔·卡普兰（纽约电台女孩）为您呈现，来自美国科罗拉多州和纽约市。想要在手机上获取实时文本记录并创建个性化词汇表，请尝试iOS和安卓版《全神贯注学英语》应用。登录allearsenglish.com/app开启7天免费试用。

With your American hosts, Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com/app.

你是否经历过人生困境？学习如何用英语分享你的经历，同时保持对话与社交的平衡。

Have you been through something hard in your life? Find out how to share what you've gone through without tipping the conversation and connection out of balance in English.

嘿，米歇尔。今天怎么样？我很好，林赛。你呢？挺好的。

Hey, Michelle. How's it going today? I'm good, Lindsay. How are you? Good.

米歇尔，今天节目要探讨什么话题？这会是个好内容。

Michelle, what are we getting into on the show today? This is gonna be a good topic.

是啊。今天我们可能要深入探讨些深刻话题。哦，我就喜欢深入交流。

Yeah. We're kinda getting getting deep today. Oh, I like to get deep.

我们从不畏惧 没错。

We're not afraid to Yes.

嗯，是的，没错。所以，林赛，让我先问个问题。你会说自己对于生活中经历的艰难时刻，通常都愿意向他人坦诚相告吗？

Mhmm. Yes. Exactly. So, I mean, Lindsay, well, let me start with a question. Would you say that you're pretty open with people about hard things that you've been through in your life?

是的，我觉得我是。不过这真的取决于具体情境。我的意思是，我会非常谨慎地选择分享的内容、对象和时机——对方是否有时间倾听？他们是否处于适合倾听的状态？

Yeah. I think I am. It depends it really depends on the context, though. I mean, I'm pretty choosy about what I share with whom and when and do they have time to listen? Are they in a place to listen?

分享这件事是否有帮助？对吧？我和心理治疗师交谈的方式就完全不同于...

Would it be helpful to share that thing? Right? The way I talk to my therapist is not the same way

与朋友、熟人或同事交流的方式。明白吗？我们拥有各种不同的关系。没错。即便是朋友，有时也不适合通过一次戏剧性的长谈来倾诉所有事情。

I talk to my friends or my acquaintances or coworkers. Right? It's all these different relationships we have. Right. And if it is somebody that you are friends with, sometimes it might not be something that you talk about all at once in a big dramatic conversation.

可能需要像撒盐一样一点点透露，最终整个故事才会随时间逐渐完整。这很有趣。我们讨论这个话题是因为收到了听众Masami的精彩提问，让我们非常兴奋。Masami在YouTube上向我们提问，稍后就会读到这个问题。

It might be something that you kind of sprinkle in a little bit at a time and it just, know, whole story comes out, like, over time. So it's very interesting. But we're talking about this because we had a really good listener question from Masami and we're very excited. Masami asked us on YouTube. So we're gonna read the question in just a second.

但在开始之前，我们要公布Spotify投票结果——来自《家庭清洁必备英语》那期节目。我们超爱做这些投票！Spotify听众注意：每期都有投票，但并非每期都会公布结果。没错。

But before we get into that, we want to give you the results of a Spotify poll that we did, and that was from the episode Excellent English for Home Cleanup. And we love doing these polls, guys. If you're listening on Spotify, every episode gets a poll, but not every episode do we read the poll Yeah. The results. Yep.

所以这是少数我们会特别公布的投票之一。林赛，当时的问题是什么？啊对了，我记得我们...

So this is one of the special ones that we do. And, Lindsay, so what was the question? Alright. Yeah. I remember we

我们刚才在讨论物品堆积的问题，对吧？人类有时会有种倾向，就是不愿丢弃东西。问题是，你擅长处理旧物品吗？是或不是？

were talking about accumulating items. Right? And there's the tendency, the human tendency sometimes to not want to throw things out. The question was, are you good at getting rid of old items? Yes or no?

看来趋势不错，米歇尔。57%的听众做得很好，42%稍逊一筹。对，没错。或许那42%的听众更重感情一些。

And so we're leaning in a good direction, Michelle. 57% of our audience is good at it, and 42% not as good at it. Yeah. Right. So maybe that 40 per 2%, you all are more sentimental.

可能那些物品对你们或家人有特殊意义。有时候确实很难割舍，对吧？

Maybe those items mean something to you or your family. It's hard sometimes. Right?

确实如此。这个结果很有意思，我原以为更多人会选'不是'，因为我觉得...可能是人们比较念旧吧。但事实证明我们有很多负责任的听众，也有些听众确实更难断舍离。

Yeah. For sure. So it's real I thought the results were very interesting. I thought I thought people were more gonna say no just because I guess I I figured I don't know. People are sentimental and it's hard, turns out we have a lot of really responsible listeners, and we also have listeners who are who do have a harder time letting things go.

我绝对属于那42%，完全符合。

I'd definitely join the 42%. I'm on the nose.

我也是。我算是在边界线上，但非要选的话，可能也属于多数派。看来我们要稍微调整下结果比例了，米歇尔。

I'd say me too. I'd say I'm kind of on the borderline, but if I had to choose, I'd probably be in the nose as well. So we'll tip those results a little bit, Michelle. Yeah.

好的。那么，油管网友Masami提了个问题。琳赛，你愿意读一下吗？

Alright. So okay. Masami asked a question from YouTube. Lindsey, would you like to read it?

是的。Masami说，嘿，Allers英语大家庭。非常感谢你们回答我之前的问题，我真的很感激，现在我又有一个问题要请教。前几天我在看一部剧，主角谈论他们的创伤时，并没有以消极或自怜的方式。

Yes. Masami says, hey, Allers English family. Thank you so much for answering my previous question. I really appreciate it, and I have another one for you. The other day, I was watching a series where the main character talked about their traumas, but not in a negative or self pitying way.

相反，他们将其作为与他人建立联系的桥梁。所以我的问题是，我们该如何谈论自己的创伤，才能在更深层次上与他人产生共鸣，而不显得是在博取同情？非常感谢你们的见解。哇，这是个好问题。

Instead, they used it as a point of connection with others. So my question is, how can we talk about our traumas in a way that helps us connect on a deeper level without sounding like we're seeking pity? Thank you so much for your insights. Wow. Good question.

这个

This

确实是个非常好的问题，Masami。非常感谢。这个问题让我想起我们之前做过的一期节目《如何在英语对话中建立联系而非主导》。嗯，那期节目你也一定要去看看。

is a really good question, Masami. Thank you so much. This one actually reminded me a little bit about of an episode we did that was All These English, How to Relate But Not Dominate in English Conversations. Mhmm. That one you should definitely check out as well.

是的，非常相似，但这次的问题有所不同。所以这并不一定是关于转移注意力。对。更多的是避免变成一场自怨自艾的聚会。

Yes. Very similar, but this one is different. So this is not necessarily about taking the attention away. Yeah. It's about more not having a pity party Yeah.

为你准备的。让我想想。什么是

Thrown for you. Let's see. What's a

自怨自艾的聚会？自怨自艾的聚会。这个说法很好。这个说法很好。就是突然间感觉所有人都站在你这边，为你感到难过。

pity party? A pity party. That's a good one. That's a good one. When all of a sudden it feels like everyone is coming to your side and feeling bad for you.

被人同情的感觉并不好受。我想这正是关键所在，对吧？嗯。因为再说一次，怜悯并不会让人感觉良好。

It doesn't feel great to have people feel bad for you. I think that's the point. Right? Mhmm. Because, again, pity doesn't feel great.

共情能带来慰藉，但同情与怜悯未必是人们最想接收的情感。

Sympathy, empathy feels good, but sympathy and pity are not necessarily the best things to receive.

是啊，确实。嗯。所以每个人处理自身遭遇的方式很有趣。

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. So it's it's interesting how everybody processes whatever they're going through.

如果有人需要这种同情，想倾诉出来——当然也有人不愿谈论——每个人都不一样。所以这确实是个棘手的情况。对了，在深入讨论前，我们还要特别感谢各位评论者。

And if they do want that sympathy, if they wanna talk it through, some people don't wanna talk about it. Everybody's different. So it it is this is definitely a tricky situation. Yeah. Before we get into it, we also wanted to say thank you so much to our reviewers.

没错。衷心感谢UJ Lee的五星好评，还有来自中国的SJHK同样给出五星，以及伊拉克的A Alphite Lee。米歇尔，这些都是五星评价哦。

Yes. Huge thank you to UJ Lee, who gave us a five star review. SJHK from China, five star review as well. A Alphite Lee from Iraq. Michelle, these are all five star reviews, by the way.

还有意大利的Tommy Tarta。非常感谢这些听众朋友。大家也快来给我们留言吧，这样我们就能在节目里大声念出你的名字了。这些评价对我们意义重大，我们全心投入这档节目。

And Tommy Tarta from Italy. Huge thank you to these listeners. Guys, go ahead and leave us a review so that we can announce your name out loud on the show. These reviews, they mean a lot to us. We give our heart into the show.

我们希望能确保节目内容与大家的期待保持一致。明白吗？是的。

We wanna make sure that we are in line with you in terms of what we're covering on the show. Okay? Yes.

是的。非常感谢大家，这对我意义重大。

Yes. Thank you so much, everyone. It really means the world.

对，记得给节目留个评价。很好。

Yes. Leave that review for the show. Good.

没错，没错。请务必留下。那我们进入正题吧。这个问题确实没有一个简单的答案或唯一解。

Yes. Yes. Please do. So let's get into it. So, yeah, this is not an a question that has an easy answer or just one answer.

是的。因为在我看来，即便是母语者处理这类问题也很棘手，对吧琳赛？这并非放之四海皆准的情况。

Yeah. Because I I in my opinion, the navigate native speakers have trouble navigating this type of issue as well. Right, Lindsay? It's this is not necessarily just a one size fits all. Yeah.

完全同意。我是说，

Absolutely. I mean,

甚至回溯到这个周末——我们有些听众已经知道，我母亲今年夏天去世了。嗯，对吧？

I even go back to this past weekend. So some of my our listeners already know that my mom passed away this summer. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

六月份那段日子非常难熬。就在刚过去的周末，我和几个朋友——算是熟人吧，一个我偶尔参加的佛教团体——散步时，有人问我'夏天过得如何'，我说'挺难的，我母亲去世了'。

And that was really hard back in June. And even just this past weekend, I was walking with some friends, some kind of acquaintances, just a Buddhist group that I hang out with sometimes. I, you know, my friend had asked me, how was your summer? I said, oh, it was kind of hard. My mom passed away.

就在那一刻，你决定是否要分享这件事？如何分享？你不想让它变成一场自怜的聚会，但那是我夏天非常重要的一部分。那么你该怎么做呢？对吧？

And it was that moment when you decide, are you going to share that? How are you going to share it? Again, you don't want it to turn into a pity party, but it was a very important part of my summer. So how do you do that? Right?

对。我觉得有那么一个瞬间——当你考虑是否要分享某件事时，胸口会有那种感觉吗？你知道这很重要，全身都会感受到这种情绪，当...

Right. And you I feel like there's a moment Do you get that feeling in your chest of when you're about to consider if you're going to share something or not? And you know that this is an important and you get this feeling in your whole body when

你即将要

you're about to

某种程度上揭露一些...是的。对你而言重要或极其脆弱的事情。

kind of expose something that's Yes. Important or very raw to you.

嗯。就像，如果你不揭露它，这段友谊就无法更进一步。如果你最终不分享类似的事情，友谊就不会有进展。但是，是的，这是一种真实的脆弱感，这跨越了所有语言和文化。所以我很高兴我们在讨论

Mhmm. And it's like, if you don't expose it, you won't move any further in that friendship. If you don't eventually share something like that, the friendship won't go anywhere. But, yeah, it's a real sense of vulnerability, and this cuts across all languages, all cultures. So I'm so glad we're talking

这个话题。是的。这真的很重要。所以今天我们会给你一些建议，关于如何分享自己，如何到达那个时刻，但又不会让它完全变成关于你的事情，避免得到你可能不想要的关注。

about this today. Yeah. This is really important. So we're gonna give you some ideas today of how how you can share yourself, get it get to that moment, but not turn it into a whole thing about you and give you that attention that maybe you don't want.

是啊。也许那根本不是那个时刻的重点。对吧？还有别的事情在进行，只是简短的寒暄。而且，是的，你不想让整个对话偏向那个方向。

Yeah. Maybe it's just not the point of that moment. Right? There's something else going on, but it's a brief catch up. And, yeah, you don't want to sway the whole thing in that direction.

对吧？但你还是想提这件事。那我们该怎么做呢？对。对吧？

Right? But you do want to mention it. So how do we do that? Right. Right?

是的。是的。首先，我们会给你五个建议。嗯。第一个是关于语气。

Yes. Yes. So the first thing, we're going to kind of give you five ideas. Mhmm. The first one is about the tone of voice.

好的。当你分享你的创伤时，你可以也应该保持严肃，但不必用听起来快要哭出来的语调。对吧。对吧？对。

Okay. So when you share your your trauma, you can and you should be serious, but but you don't have to use intonation that sounds like you might cry. Right. Right? Right.

对。因为一旦你那样做，就意味着——哭出来也没关系。是的。但如果你不想要那种同情的话。是的。对吧？

Right. Because once you get to that, that's what mean, and it's okay to cry. Yes. But if you don't want that pity party Yes. Right?

比如，如果听起来你对这个话题有非常极端的情绪。嗯。那么人们会更倾向于。嗯。开始更关注这件事。所以。是的。重申一次，如果你不想要那种关注，你可以非常实事求是地表达，但也不要像机器人一样。

Like, if it if it sounds like you're having really extreme feelings about the topic Mhmm. Then people are going to be more inclined Mhmm. To start giving you more attention over it. So Yes. Again, you wanna be very if you don't want that kind of attention, you can be very matter of fact about it, but also not robotic.

你不会想说，哦，是的。我的我的狗死了。嗯。就像你。

You wouldn't wanna say, oh, yeah. I my my dog died. Yeah. Like you.

对。我们这里没有人是机器人。狗狗离世我们都会非常难过。我是说，那是件很痛苦的事。对吧？

Right. None of us are robots here. We all feel very sad to have our dogs pass away. I mean, that's a very traumatic thing. Right?

我们深爱着我们的动物。我是说，我认为这其中还涉及时机问题。当事情还非常痛苦时，我们可能确实需要避免分享，也许几个月，也许几年，直到我们真正准备好以不同的语气来谈论它。对吧，米歇尔？

We love our animals. I mean, I also think that there's a matter of timing here. When something is really raw, we probably do wanna avoid sharing it maybe for a few months, maybe a few years, whatever that looks like until we're actually ready to talk about it with a different tone of voice. Right, Michelle?

是的。嗯。没错。有时候事情太痛苦了，你根本无法谈论。我是说，现在我们真的深入探讨了。

Yes. Mhmm. Right. Sometimes it is just so raw that you can't talk about it. I mean, now we're really getting so deep.

而不哭泣。然后随着时间的推移，你知道，你会逐渐习惯你所哀悼的或任何可能的事情。嗯。比如，当我失去工作时，我度过了一段非常艰难的时期。是的。

Without crying. And then you as time moves on, you know, it's it's you get used to whatever it is that you're mourning or whatever it may be. Mhmm. So for example, when I lost my job, I had a really hard time. Yeah.

对吧？所以，你听到了我当时的感受，但我听起来并不像要哭的样子。我听起来还好吧？是的。是的。

Right? So I you you heard I had feeling there, but I wasn't I didn't sound like I was going to cry. I didn't sound right? Yeah. Yeah.

但我仍然在分享自己。我仍然在展现脆弱。

But I was still sharing myself. I was still being vulnerable.

你仍在分享，但语气表明你已经某种程度上达成了某种和解。

You're still sharing, but the tone of voice indicates that you've kinda come to kind of a bit of a resolution.

没错。

Right.

你已经对这件事有背景了解了，对吧？比如，你知道之后发生了什么，也许在你失去那份工作后还发生了些好事。对吧？这是有前因后果的。

You've you've got a you've got context for this. Right? Like, you know what happened after, and maybe something good happened after you lost that job. Right? There's context.

对吧？

Right?

说得太好了。那么我们接下来想强调的重点是什么？好的。

Love that. And what's what's the next thing we wanna highlight? Okay.

接下来要讲的是我们可以选择的表达方式，也就是用词。

So the next thing is the expressions we can choose. So the words.

噢，不。第二条。

Oh, no. Number two.

抱歉。下一件事是——所以不要纠结于，你看，这里是在运用英语建立连接的艺术。我们如何简要提及某事，但不深陷其中，不过多纠结？对吧。就像我们在另一期节目里讨论过的，比如，我的童年并不轻松。

Sorry. The next thing So, not dwelling on you know, this is an art of connection here using English. How do we touch on something briefly, but not sit in it too long, not dwell on it? Right. Like, yeah, as we've talked about in the other episode, for example, my childhood wasn't easy.

我和家人关系紧张，尤其是我姐姐。不过那都是多年前的事了。那么，米歇尔，这个策略的关键点是什么？

I had a tough relationship with my family, especially my sister. That was years ago, though. So, Michelle, what's happening in this strategy?

对。所以你正在列举一些童年艰难的原因，举个例子，然后你以‘不过那都是多年前的事了’结束。而且你谈论它的方式听起来像是已经释怀了。是的。是的。

Right. So you are going through some of the reasons why your childhood was tough, giving an example, and then you ended it with, that was years ago, though. And you're also speaking about it in a way that sounds like you're removed from it. Yes. Yes.

你没有沉溺其中。没有深陷回忆。所以你是在呼应对方所说的内容，就像另一期节目中那样。你提起自己的话题，然后说‘不过那都是多年前的事了’。你其实是在表达‘好吧’。

You're not dwelling on it. You're not sitting in it. So you you related to whatever the other person was saying, which is kind of like in the other episode. You're you're you were bringing up your topic, and then you're saying that was years ago, though. You're kinda saying, okay.

嗯，我们不会...你知道，回到你身上。对。正是如此。所以这是在稍微给事情做背景铺垫。对吧？

Well, we're not gonna you know, back to you. Right. Exactly. So this is contextualizing things a little bit. Right?

我们正在

We are

添加某种陈述，提供时间背景，或者，怎么说，稍微把它放在某个视角下看待。对吧？你明白吗？

adding some kind of statement which says which gives time context or, I don't know, puts it into perspective a little bit. Right. You know?

是的。继续说吧。嗯。

Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

不。我正要说，这引出了下一个要点，也就是我们将教你的这些表达方式，让你有更多关于如何运用它们的思路。这里我们说，那是多年前的事了。或者说，不过那是多年前的事了。这两种说法都可以。

No. I was going to say, and that leads to our next one, which is these expressions that we are going to teach you so you have more ideas of how you can use that. So here we said, that was years ago. So, or that was years ago though. And you can do either one of those.

举个例子，我的狗跑丢了，当时很难过，但那都是多年前的事了。不过我觉得我现在可能还是会很伤心。

So for example, my dog ran away and it was awful, but that was years ago. I think I would still be crushed.

哦，是的。对。但那是前世的事了。这也是我们常听到的说法，如果你想表达那是很久以前的事。比如：我小时候很没安全感，但那都是前世的事了。

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that was in another life. Also, a common thing we might hear, if you're just trying to say that was a long time ago. I was really insecure as a child, but that was in another life.

对吧？再次强调，这是在语境化，表明你不一定是同一个人了，你已经成长了，这里面有语境关系。

Right? So again, contextualizing, showing that you're not necessarily that same person, you've learned, there's context there.

对。或者你还可以说：但如今已物是人非。

Right. Or one more you could say is, but so much has changed.

嗯。

Mhmm.

对吧？比如：我一年内经历了三次分手，但如今和保罗在一起后一切都不同了。你知道的，保罗是个好人。

Right? So I had three breakups in one year, but so much has changed now that I'm with Paul. You know, Paul's a good guy.

保罗是个好人。确实。我的意思是，这真的很有趣，因为我们知道，像这样的事情，比如狗狗去世、家人离世、创伤，显然都是普遍存在的。但我们确实需要英语短语来将其置于语境中，是的。这样才能在对话和与他人建立联系时，不至于变成一场纯粹的同情派对，就像你说的，只是大家都在支持你。

Paul's a good guy. Yeah. I mean, this is really interesting because we know that, you know, things like this, like dogs dying, family members passing away, trauma is universal, obviously. But we do need the English phrases to put it in context to Yes. Be able to then be in conversation and connection with someone where it doesn't all just turn into like a pity party, as you said, just like everyone's supporting you.

需要让对话在几分钟后转向其他话题，因为这才是正常的。对吧？

Need to allow that conversation to move on to something else after a few minutes because that's kind of normal. Right?

对，是的。

Right. Yes.

嗯。有趣。很好。你的下一个重要会议即将到来。问题是，你会准备好去主导那个会议，还是会让另一个机会溜走？

Yep. Interesting. Good. Your next high stakes meeting is coming soon. The question is, will you walk in ready to lead that meeting, or will you let another opportunity slip away?

我们全新的课程《专业英语二级》为你提供了掌控会议室的技能，无论你是在进行风险分析展示、主持预算会议，还是跨文化谈判。现在，首发优惠价立减100美元，但优惠仅限时到本周日。再次提醒，特价将在美国时间周日午夜结束。所以现在就前往allearsenglish.com/career，立即加入《专业英语二级》课程。这是你的最后机会，赶快在优惠结束前报名吧。

Our brand new course, Professional English Level two, gives you the skills to control the room, whether you're presenting risk analysis, running a budget meeting, or negotiating across cultures. And right now, launch pricing is $100 off, but it only lasts for a limited time until this Sunday. Again, the special price ends Sunday at midnight US time. So go right now to allearsenglish.com/career and join professional english level two today. It's your last chance, so go and get it before the offer expires.

我们迫不及待想在现场演讲活动或个人教练的问答环节见到你。再次提醒，请访问allearsenglish.com/career。到时见。好的，米歇尔。不过还有其他建议。

And we can't wait to see you at our live speaking events or the q and a sessions in Personal Coach. Again, go to allearsenglish.com/career. See you there. Okay, Michelle. There are other tips though.

这些还不是我们所有的建议。我们还有更多。我们还能为听众提供什么？

That is not all of our tips. We have more. What else do we have for our listeners?

对。所以这个是保持讨论开放，让其他人发表意见。对吧？所以，你是在引导那个人。是的。

Yeah. So this one is to keep the floor open for other comments. Right? So, again, so you're kinda directing to that person. Yes.

你可能在向他们提问。你只是在展示对话，而不是说，好了，停下。现在我们要开始新话题了。

You might be asking them a question. You're just showing the conversation is you're not saying, okay. Stop. Here we go. This is the new topic.

对。你在展示这是一种来回交流的方式。嗯。嗯。所以你可以说，我知道当X发生时对你来说很难。

Yeah. You're showing that this is a back and forth kind of thing. Mhmm. Mhmm. So one thing you could say was, I know it was hard for you when X.

对吧？也许你已经了解这个人。你可以说，我知道你和蒂姆分手时很难受

Right? So maybe you know the person already. You could say, I know it was hard for you when you broke up

对吧？是的。完全正确。

with Tim. Right? Yes. Totally. Exactly.

或者当X发生时对你来说很艰难？再说一次，你知道，他们不必非得分享。实际上，我有很多朋友早年因某些原因失去了父母。我很多朋友年轻时失去了父母。你知道，这是一种非常温和的方式邀请他们分享，但不强求。

Or was it tough for you when X? And again, you know, yeah, they don't have to say had to share. I mean, I have a lot of friends actually who have lost parents previously who lost them young for some reason. A lot of my friends have lost their parents young. And, you know, and that's kind of you it's it's a very soft way of inviting them to share something, but not forcing it.

对吧？对。是的。这就是为什么我们说保持讨论开放。不是非要他们回答，而是暗示给他们发言的机会。

Right? Right. Yes. That's why we're saying leave the floor open. It's not like you necessarily demand an answer, but you kind of hint at opening the floor for them.

嗯哼。嗯哼。那么当你转行时对你来说困难吗？也许你会说，只是为了让他们也能参与到对话中来？嗯哼。最后是一些安慰性的话语。

Mhmm. Mhmm. So was it tough for you when you changed careers, maybe you would say, just to get them to input to the conversation as well? Mhmm. And then finally, reassuring phrases.

是的。表现出你没事的样子。再次强调，也许并不一定你真的没事，那也没关系。也许你只是在保护自己，说，好吧，你知道，面对你所经历的创伤，分享与否、为何分享、分享多少以及如何分享，完全由你决定。嗯哼。如果你想更深入地敞开心扉，或者只是简单地陈述事实然后说，好吧。

Yeah. Showing that you are okay. Again, maybe maybe it's not necessarily that you really are okay, that's fine too. Maybe you're just protecting yourself and you're saying, okay, you know, there's a time when, you know, with whatever trauma you've had, it's your, it's totally your choice how you share it and if you share it and why and how much of it you share and Mhmm. If you want to open up more about it or if it's just you wanna state it matter of factly and then say, okay.

没关系，对吧？所以这是非常个人化的，这也是为什么这个问题有点棘手。嗯哼。而且我认为没有一个标准答案。

It's fine. Right? So it's so personal, which is why this is a little bit of a tricky question. Mhmm. And I don't think that there's one right answer.

是的，我觉得你说得对。所以我认为可能有一点

Yeah, think you're right. So I think there might be a little bit

这个建议里也有文化因素，我们无法摆脱文化的影响。我们在美国文化的背景下相互学习。这让我有点想起，比如，你好吗？你知道吗？是的。

of this that's cultural here in our tip too, which is we can't get away from our culture. We learn from each in the context of American culture. And this reminds me a little bit of like, how are you? You know? Yeah.

哦，你怎么回答那个问题？很好。我没事。一切都好。并不总是适合深入展开这个话题。

Oh, how do you answer that? Great. I'm fine. Everything's fine. It's not always the right time to extend that conversation.

而且，再说一遍，不要把这变成一场治疗会话。你的朋友不一定是你的治疗师。对吧？我的意思是，他们可以在一定程度上提供帮助，但他们也有自己的生活和其他事情。那么，米歇尔，我们在这里做什么呢？

And, again, go into the whole session of this is gonna become a therapy session. Your friends are not necessarily your therapist. Right? I mean, they can help to some extent, but they also have lives and things going on. So what are we doing here, Michelle?

安慰的话语。对，我是说，其中一句可能是，

Reassuring phrases. Right. I mean, one would be,

但别为我担心。

But don't worry about me.

没错。要小心，因为如果你不够注意，这话听起来可能像是在讽刺。

Yeah. Be careful because this could sound sarcastic if you're not

太不小心了。对，对，对。哦，不过别担心。是啊，没错。确实如此。

too careful. Right, right, right. Oh, but don't worry. Yeah, right. That's true.

嗯。只是

Yeah. Just

稍微注意一下。你可以说，但我没事。我正在走出来。或者我已经走出来了。当我分享我妈妈的事情时，我说过几次我正在努力面对。

be careful with that a little bit. You could say, but I'm fine. I'm moving past it. Or I moved past it. I've said a few times when I've shared what happened with my mom, I've shared I'm working through it.

明白吗？正在面对。这很好。我在努力。特别是像面对死亡这样的事情，那是需要我们花时间去处理的。

You know? Working through it. That's good. I'm working on it. Because especially with, like, a death, that's something that we have to work on over time.

对吧？我们会随着时间的推移重新审视它。我们会和治疗师一起努力。我的意思是，我们不会就这样简单地翻篇。对吧？

Right? We revisit it over time. We work with the therapist. I mean, we don't just, like, move on. Right?

所以，是的。表达方式可以多种多样，但核心在于我们希望确保对方不会以某种方式为我们担忧，这样我们才能在一个平稳的基础上继续建立联系。

So Yeah. There are different ways you can phrase this, but there is a sense of we wanna make sure the person doesn't worry about us in a way so that we can continue on an even plane building connection.

对吧？是的，是的。非常好的观点，Lindsey。

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really good point, Lindsey.

我们马上要进行一个角色扮演，但在开始之前还有什么最后的想法吗？

So we're gonna do a role play in just a second, but any if any final thoughts before the role play?

是的。我是说，显然要记住每个人的创伤都是不同的，有时候我们确实需要他人。而这并不是讨论这个话题的那一集。我们可以再做一集来讨论那种情况，当你真的处于那种非常脆弱的时刻——也许事情刚刚发生，或者已经过去多年，但你仍然需要和亲密的朋友一起处理它。

Yeah. I mean, keep in mind, obviously, like, everyone's trauma is different, and sometimes we do need people. And this is not the episode for that conversation. We could do another episode on that conversation where you actually like, it's very raw. Maybe it just happened or maybe it happened years ago, but you still need to work through it with your close friends.

那是另一套技能了。对吧？

That's another set of skills. Right?

没错。是的。所以大家，点击关注吧，因为我们也会深入探讨那个话题。那是另一个非常复杂的问题，但这些都很有意思。我很喜欢这样。

Yes. Yeah. So guys, hit follow because we'll we'll we can get into that as well. That's another very complex topic, but these are really interesting ones. So I like that.

我再说一次，这真的取决于你在和谁说话，你们的关系如何，以及你有多少时间。你知道，如果这是一个大型活动，周围有很多人，大家都在拿食物，那真的不是时候。

I'm again, it really depends on who you're speaking to, what your relationship is like, how much time you have. You know, if you're if you're if it's a big function, and there are a lot of people around, and everybody's grabbing food, not really the time

自然。情境也很重要。是的，情境确实也很重要。完全正确。

natural. Context matters too. Yeah. Context really matters too. Exactly.

如果你只是从一个地方走到另一个地方，周围有活动在进行，那也不是敞开心扉的合适时机。是的。我们来做个角色扮演吧。有时间吗？就快速来一下。

If you're just walking from one place to another, there's activity going on, it's not the time to open up in that way. Yeah. Let's do a little role play. Do we have time? Just a quick Yes.

那我们开始吧。假设我们是朋友，正在聊我们的童年。

Let's do So here we are friends connecting over our childhoods.

好的，开始吧。那么你和家人更亲近吗？

Okay. Here we go. So are you closer to your family?

情况一直很复杂。我的童年很艰难，家庭关系从未真正解决。但成年后我改变了很多，明白了哪些关系值得去维护。哇，米歇尔。

Things have been complicated. My childhood was tough and my family relationships never really resolved. But so much has changed for me as an adult. I've realized what relationships are worth fighting for. Wow, Michelle.

是啊。那么，你离开家乡时对你来说艰难吗？

Yeah. Well, was it tough for you when you moved away from your home?

是的。一开始我确实很艰难，但我挺过来了。对。嗯。不错。

Yeah. I had a really hard time at first, but I moved past it. Yeah. Mhmm. Nice.

很好。那我们刚才做了什么？我们做了几件事。你先分享了童年很艰辛，家庭关系始终未能真正和解，但如今已大有不同。

Nice. So what did we do here? We did a couple things. You first shared that your childhood was tough. Your family relationships never really resolved, but so much has changed.

所以这再次是在做背景说明，表示事情已经改变。我是不同的人了，不再是当初那个自己了。对吧？

So again, that's contextualizing, saying things have changed. I'm a different person. I'm not still that same person. Right?

嗯。嗯。嗯。然后我确实稍微转移了话题。我说或许我们刚才在聊童年或离家的话题时，我问你当初离开家独自生活时艰难吗？

Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. And then I did kinda change the topic. Then I said so maybe we were talking in the context of our childhoods or leaving home or and I said, was it tough when you moved away for you when you moved away from home?

所以，开放讨论。

So, the floor.

开放讨论。是的，因为我们知道每个人都经历过一些事，对吧？然后我说，没错，起初确实很艰难，但我熬过来了。这又是在做背景说明，再次表明我已不再是过去的自己了。

Opening the floor. So, yeah, because we know that everyone's been through something, right? And then I said, yeah, I had a really hard time at first, but I moved past it. And there's the contextualizing again and showing, again, I'm not that same person anymore.

对吧？嗯。

Right? Mhmm.

是的。没错。今天的话题很棒。我们最后的收获是什么？我是说，这是一种非常人性化的技能。

Yes. Yes, Exactly. Good one for today. What's our final takeaway? I mean, is a very human skill.

创伤在世界各地都会发生。每个人都经历过一些事情。对吧？

A trauma happens all over the world. Everyone has been through something. Right?

是的，完全正确。所以我们每个人都经历过。而且，你知道，如何分享取决于你自己。今天我们给了你一种分享的工具，下次我们可以用另一种方式。

Yes. Exactly. So we we've everybody's been there. And, you know, it's up to you how you wanna share it. And so we gave you the tools today to to share in one way, and we can do another one another way another time.

是的。太棒了。今天的话题很好。我很高兴我们今天深入探讨了一些更深层次的内容。

Yes. Excellent. So good. Good topic today. I'm glad we went into something a little deeper today.

有时候，深入探讨一些事情对灵魂有好处。为什么不呢？朋友们，如果你们喜欢我们的节目，请点击关注按钮，别忘了给节目评分和留言。我们会尽量在节目中读出你的名字。好吗？

Sometimes it's good for the soul to go into something a little deeper. Why not? Guys, if you love our show, hit the follow button, and don't forget to leave us a rating and a review for the show. We will try to read your name out loud on the show. Alright?

好的，就这样，

Good Alright,

好的，林赛。谢谢你今天和我聊这个话题。

miss. Alright, Lindsay. Thanks for talking about this with me today.

好的，保重。回头聊。再见。好的。

Alright. Take care. Talk soon. Bye. Alright.

再见。正在收听《全耳英语》。想知道你的英语水平吗？参加我们两分钟的测试。访问allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore。

Bye. Listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score.

如果你相信连接而非完美，现在就点击订阅，确保你不会错过任何内容。下次见。

And if you believe in connection not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.