审美标准，咨询环节

欢迎回到建议环节，这是一个无所不谈的系列节目，你可以提交当前遇到的困境或任何需要建议的问题，我会给出专业建议。今天的话题很棘手，因为相比我在建议环节讨论过的所有话题，这个问题最让我困扰。我还没有完全弄明白，也不声称自己什么都懂。我只是生活的学生。

Welcome back to advice session, a series here on anything goes where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and then I give you my own professional advice. And today's topic is a tricky one. It's a tricky one because compared to all the other topics I've discussed on advice session, I really struggle with this one more than all the other topics. This is something I really don't have all figured out, and I don't claim to have anything all figured out. I'm a student of life.

我每天都在学习新东西，永远不可能完全掌握一切。但特别是这个问题，我确实还没搞明白。不过我已经走了很长的路。我成长在社交媒体时代。

I'm learning more every day. I'm never gonna have things all figured out. But in particular, I really don't have this one figured out. However, I've come a long way. I grew up in the age of social media.

我在初中就有了Instagram账号。从10岁起就开始把自己和社交媒体上的人比较。当我的大脑还处于青春期前混沌状态时，就开始应对社交媒体强加给我们的审美标准。你知道吗？这就是我在互联网上形成的认知。

I got Instagram in middle school. I've been comparing myself to people on social media since I was 10 years old. I've dealt with the beauty standards that have been pushed onto us from social media since my brain was literal prepubescent mush. You know? Like, this is I developed on the Internet.

我的成长伴随着网络引发的审美标准。我生活在美颜滤镜的时代，生活在整容手术变得如此普遍以至于成为审美标准的时代。这就是我所知道的一切。这并不是说在互联网和社交媒体出现之前，审美标准就不那么具有挑战性或同样可怕。

I developed with Internet induced beauty standards. I grew up in the age of the beauty filter. I grew up in the age of cosmetic surgeries becoming normalized to the point where they are the beauty standard. This is all I know. And that's not to say that prior to the Internet, prior to social media, beauty standards weren't incredibly challenging to deal with and, like, equally as horrible.

我完全没有这个意思。我只是认为情况有所不同。

I'm not saying that at all. I think it was just different.

我简短打断本期节目，告诉大家本期节目由The Ordinary赞助。自我护理很重要，但可能非常昂贵，特别是护肤品。值得庆幸的是，The Ordinary专注于优质护肤，价格合理让每个人都能用上真正有效的护肤品。他们实验室研发的配方能精准满足肌肤需求。如果你不知从何开始，他们官网上还有免费的护肤方案构建工具。

I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by the ordinary. Self care is important, but it can be super expensive, right, especially when you're talking skincare products. Thankfully, the ordinary is focused on quality skincare that's priced to make great skincare accessible to everyone and that genuinely works. Formulations created in their lab designed to give your skin precisely what it needs. They've even made a free regimen builder on their website if you don't know where to start.

在theordinary.com使用优惠码MSC10可享9折优惠。现在回到节目。

Use code MSC 10 for 10% off at theordinary.com. Now back to the episode.

我认为互联网前与互联网后审美标准的差异——顺便说一句，这只是个假设。我并不确定。但如果要区分不同，我会说在互联网时代之前，这是个非常复杂的话题，审美标准极其复杂。但概括来说，如果要找出差异，我会说互联网前的审美标准可能基于电视、杂志、时尚广告中的名人形象，这些几乎让人觉得不真实。就像存在某种隔阂——当你看到电视或广告牌上的形象时，几乎会有种'这甚至不是真人'的感觉。

I think the difference between beauty standards pre Internet and post Internet, This is just a hypothesis, by the way. I I don't know for sure. But if I were to try to distinguish a difference, I would say prior to the Internet I mean, it's a very complex topic, beauty standards, very complex. But I think at a high level, if I were to find a difference, I would say prior to the Internet, the beauty standards perhaps were based on celebrities that were on television, in magazines, in fashion campaigns, and it almost didn't feel like real life. Like, there was this degree of separation where when you saw something on television, when you saw something on a billboard, like, there's almost this feeling of, like, well, that's not even a real person.

尽管那些确实是真人，但存在一种疏离感。我认为互联网后审美标准的挑战在于，我们的大脑将社交媒体内容视为更真实的存在。因此当有人在社交媒体上光彩照人时，这种冲击会更强烈，因为社交媒体上都是普通人群。能理解吗？当然，这又过度简化了这个话题。

And, like, even though it is, there's a disconnect. I think the challenge with post Internet beauty standards is that our brains perceive social media content as being more real. Therefore, when somebody looks amazing on social media, it feels like a deeper cut because social media is other normal human beings. Does that make sense? And I think, again, this is, like, oversimplifying the topic.

但当我思考互联网时代审美标准带来的新复杂性时，这就是我的观点：我们与社交媒体上看到的人的对比，往往比与精修广告牌或专业化妆师打造的电影形象对比更为激烈。我们知道后者有专业团队和完美打光，而潜意识里却认为社交媒体更真实——这种对比让我们更严苛地评判自己。

And and but when I think of the new complexities that come with beauty standards in the age of the Internet, that's what I think of. We we almost compare ourselves perhaps more violently to people that we see on social media than to say a perfectly airbrushed billboard or a movie where, you know, there's professional makeup artists on set, like, perfecting everything and lighting is perfect. Like, we expect that out of those environments. Whereas on social media, subconsciously, we feel like this is real, more real. And so we compare ourselves even worse.

我不确定这是否准确，但这是我的真实感受。重申下，这更像是假设而非定论。并非宣称这是真理，而是我作为社交媒体时代成长者的切身感受——想必你们多数人也是如此。

I don't know if that's even accurate, but that feels accurate to me. Again, that's more of a hypothesis than it is like a statement. I'm not stating that that's true, but that's how it feels to me. And that's how it's felt to me, like, growing up in the age of social media. And I assume most of you have also grown up in the age of social media.

你们都有亲身体验。但我想说的是，微整形、玻尿酸、丰唇等医美项目的普及，让我们这代的审美标准变得更为复杂，因为这些标准建立在非人类自然特征之上。

You've experienced this yourself. But I think to the normalization of getting work done, Botox, filler, getting your lips done, that's filler. Right? I don't know. That being normalized in our generation has also made things a bit more complicated because the beauty standard now is based on, like, nonhuman traits.

谁能预料到这种发展呢？因此现在是个特别具有挑战性的时期——或许不该说'特别'，而该说'独特'——对于自我接纳而言。我个人对身材形象、自我接纳和审美标准有着独特体验，毕竟我是网络公众人物。

You know? Like, who would have thought this would have happened? So it's a particularly challenging time for beauty standards or not even particularly challenging, but it's a uniquely challenging time to find self acceptance. I think unique is the right word for it. But, also, I have had a unique experience with body image and self acceptance and beauty standards because I'm a public figure on the Internet.

这为我们生活中这类挑战增添了复杂性。比如今天我发的Instagram照片合集里，很多照片是素颜出镜，光线也不理想——

And that adds a level of complexity to these types of challenges that we experience in life. Like, for example, today, posted on Instagram. And my particular post today was a photo dump, if you will. And in this photo dump, in a lot of the photos, I wasn't wearing makeup. In a lot of the photos, the lighting wasn't the best.

我的Instagram动态并不总是这样。很多时候，我会穿着华丽的服装拍出惊艳的照片，光线完美无缺。我会精心调色，添加颗粒感等各种效果，看起来简直美极了。你懂我意思吗？

And that's not always the case with my posts on Instagram. Sometimes a lot of times, you know, I'll take a gorgeous photo in a gorgeous outfit, and the lighting is perfect. And I color grade it to perfection, and I add grain and everything. It looks it just looks gorgeous. You know what I mean?

我是说，这完全是一种戏剧性时刻。我的Instagram并不全是糟糕的光线。你知道吗？你可以看到我没化妆的脸。我也会发布光线完美、妆容精致的照片。

It just looks I mean, it's totally a a a moment of theatrics. It's like my Instagram is not all bad lighting. You know? You can see my my face without makeup. Like, I post photos where the lighting is perfect, and I'm wearing makeup.

而且，我的Instagram上确实有些非常戏剧化的内容，那是我最完美的时刻。我绝对会发布那样的内容。但有时我也会发布一些没化妆、光线很差的照片，就随便拍拍那种。

And, like, there are things on my Instagram that are absolutely theatrical, and it is my best moment. I absolutely post stuff like that on Instagram. But I also, at times, will post photos on Instagram that are not that where I'm not wearing makeup. The lighting is bad. It it's just whatever.

因为有时候这样也很有趣。每当我发布光线自然、素颜的照片时，我知道肯定会有人评论我的父母。每次都这样，今天也不例外。当然有很多善意温暖的评论，但也有人说'艾玛怎么长这样？'

Because sometimes that's fun too. And whenever I post a photo on Instagram or a collection of photos on Instagram where the lighting is really natural, I'm not wearing makeup, it's a very raw moment, I know I will get comments about my parents. It happens without fail every single time. And today, that happened as expected. Of course, I got a bunch of wonderful, very sweet comments, but I also got comments that were like, why does Emma look like that?

她看起来好可怕。她是不是出什么问题了？生病了？还是吸毒了？

She looks terrible. She looks hideous. Is something wrong with her? Like, is she sick? Is she on drugs?

她看起来太糟糕了。但其实不是的，这就是我自然的素颜状态，带着天生的黑眼圈。这就是我真实的样子，明白吗？

She looks so bad. It's like, no. This is just my natural face in my natural dark circles under my eyes. This is just what I look like. You know?

这就是真实的我。但我们已经习惯了在社交媒体上看到最完美的形象，所以当有人看起来普通时，人们就会惊讶'啊？这是什么？'现在的我已经不太会被这些困扰了。但在生活和事业的某个阶段，关于外表的评论确实让我很困扰。

This is just who I am. But we're so conditioned to see the best of the best on social media that when somebody looks normal, it's like, oh, what? What's that? And I've gotten to a point in my life now where that doesn't really bother me as much anymore. There there was a point in my life and career where comments about my appearance really bothered me.

我个人做了很多努力来帮助自己应对这种痛苦和不适。我是否仍在与之抗争？当然，当然。但我已经进步了很多，这就是为什么我觉得可以在这里给出建议，因为我确实有所改善，并且一直在努力。

I've done a lot of work on a personal level to help me manage that pain and discomfort. Is it still something I struggle with? Of course. Of course. But I've improved a lot, which is why I feel like I can come on here and give advice on on these things because I have made improvements, and I have worked on it.

但我认为另一个有趣之处在于，互联网上关于人类外貌的讨论非常虚伪。就像，网上同时存在两种对话。一方面，每个人都说现在的审美标准完全不切实际。大家都知道，人人都做整形手术，对吧？

But I think another interesting sort of piece of this is that it's like the conversation on the Internet about our appear appearance as human beings is very hypocritical. Like, there are two conversations happening in tandem on the Internet. On one hand, everyone's like, the beauty standards now are completely unrealistic. Everybody has, you know, cosmetic procedures done. You know?

每个人都在改变自己的天然样貌。太假了。真实的面孔在哪里？正常衰老的人在哪里？我们需要更多这样的真实。

Everybody's changing their natural look. It's so fake. Where are the real faces? Where are people aging normally? Like, we need more of this.

我们需要看到更多真实的、人类本真的形象。我们需要看到这些。这些在哪里？太缺乏了。而另一方面，又有人会说，你看这个明星老得多难看。

We need to see more authentic, like real images of human beings. Like we need to see that. Where is that? There's not enough of that. And then on the other hand, there's people that are like, you, like this celebrity's aging so badly.

呕，这人老得真难看。呕，这人素颜看起来病怏怏的。呕，你真丑。呕。

Ew, this person's aging so badly. Ew, This person looks sick without makeup. Ew. You look ugly. Ew.

被说成'chopped in unk'（不管什么意思）。这显然是新的侮辱用语。现在上网让我觉得自己像个老奶奶。总会从TikTok冒出些新词汇。

Chopped in unk. Whatever that means. That's the new insult alleged apparently. I feel like a grandma on the Internet these days. Like, a new, like, term will come out of TikTok or something.

我就一脸懵：啥？这是啥？所以你几乎不可能让所有人满意。如果你看起来很棒，有人会说'天啊美翻了'，另一些人就会说'天啊你妆太浓了'。

And I'm like, what? What is that? So you kind of can't win. Like, if you look amazing, then some people are like, Oh my god, yes, you look amazing. And then some people are like, Oh my god, you're like, you're wearing so much makeup.

你为什么要穿这个？看起来挺正常的。有些人会说‘哇，真让人耳目一新’，而另一些人则会说‘你从没这么难看过，真丑，老得像变质牛奶’。

Why are you wearing it? Like, and then you look normal. And some people are like, wow, so refreshing to see this. And then other people are like, you've never looked worse. You're hideous, and you're aging like milk.

所以这很难。你知道，就像根本无法赢。这就是互联网的本质。再次声明，我已经接受这个事实，我不是在扮演受害者或自怨自艾。天啊。

So it's tough. You know, it's like, can't really win. And that's the nature of the internet. Again, I've come to accept that I like, I'm not playing the victim here or being like, woe is me. Like, oh my god.

这太难了。不，这完全是互联网的本质，完全没问题。但我更多是想让你理解我个人在这些事情上的经历，这样当我给你接下来的建议时，你能有背景参考。懂吗？

It's so hard. Like, no. This is totally the nature of the Internet, and it's totally fine. But I'm more just giving you some understanding of my personal experience with these things so that you can have context when I give you the advice I'm about to give you. You know?

这就是我的经历。这些是我生活中遇到的挑战。但更甚的是，在互联网上被特别放大，作为公众人物，我都数不清有多少次我的脸被用在YouTube缩略图或文章配图里，标题都是‘Z世代老得快’。明白吗？我见过太多次了。

Like, this is sort of my experience. These have been the challenges that I've run into in my life and you know? But it's even, like to even zoom in on me, in particular on the Internet, in me as a public figure in general, I can't tell you how many times I've seen my face be used in either a YouTube thumbnail or an article thumbnail image about Gen Z aging badly. Okay? I've seen it many times.

我就是那些‘Z世代老得快’的典型面孔之一。Z世代像变质牛奶一样衰老。这对我来说很难接受，因为我人生中主动选择了自然衰老。也许某天我会改变主意。

I am one of the faces used for Gen Z aging badly. Gen Z aging like milk. Okay? And that's tough for me because I've made an active decision in my life to age naturally. Now at some point, I might change my mind.

懂吗？我不会死磕这件事。可能等我30岁时就会想‘去他的，我要打肉毒’。

You know? I I'm not dying on this hill. Right? Like, I might turn 30 and be like, fuck it. I do wanna get Botox.

谁知道呢。但现在，此刻的我，我的道德观和价值观，今天的我选择自然衰老。我才24岁，感觉还不需要干预。

I don't know. But for right now, who I am right now, my my morals and my values right now, who I am today, I wanna age naturally. I'm also 24 years old. You know? Like, I don't feel that I need to intervene.

抗衰老治疗没什么问题。通过医美手段解决自身的不安全感也无可厚非。至于别人怎么做，我根本不在乎，那不关我的事。我完全不在意。

There's nothing wrong with antiaging procedures. There's nothing wrong with getting a cosmetic procedure to address an insecurity you have. That, I don't care what other people do. It is none of my business. I don't care.

每个人都应该做让自己开心的事。就我个人而言，我决定至少现阶段要做一个自然的人。我想要自然老去，保持原本的模样，因为我觉得这样很美。而且我认为让可能关注我的年轻人看到——或许不算常态——但看到一个自然老去的人也很重要。我想尽可能长久地保持这种状态。

Everyone should do what makes them happy. Me on a personal level, I've made the decision that for at least right now, I want to be I wanna be a natural person. I I want to age naturally and look the way I look because I think that there's beauty in that. And I I also think it's important for potentially even young people who maybe follow me to see a normal or not normal, but to see like a a person aging naturally. And I want to maintain that for as long as possible.

但话说回来，我其实不敢断言自己永远不会做医美或任何改变，因为未来想法可能会变。至少目前这对我来说很重要。但有时看到这些被拿来攻击我，比如被做成'Z世代衰老惨状'的缩略图，确实很难受。这很艰难，也让我不断自我挣扎。

But again, I'm, like, scared to ever say that I'll never get work done or never do anything because I don't know. I don't know how my perspective will change down the line. But for right now, that's a priority for me. But it's hard at times to have that be used against me and then to be, you know, used in a thumbnail about Gen Z aging badly. It's hard, and it challenges me.

有时候真想破罐子破摔——去他妈的，干脆去打肉毒杆菌算了。去他妈的，给嘴角填个玻尿酸什么的。虽然我连具体是啥都不太清楚...

And it sometimes makes me wanna just be like, fuck it. I'm gonna go get Botox. Fuck it. You know, I'm gonna, like, get the lines around my mouth filled with filler or whatever the fuck. I don't even know what like, yeah.

说实话我也不确定。这段心路历程很艰难，但我已经成长了很多，虽然现在仍会为此困扰。看到自己出现在'Z世代衰老惨状'的缩略图里还是会刺痛，依然很难受。

Like, I I don't know. It it's been tough. It's been a journey, but I have come a long way, and I still struggle with it all the time. It still stings a little bit to see my face in a thumbnail about Gen Z aging badly. It still sucks.

看到评论说'呕，Emma的脸像被砍过一样'（虽然不知道他妈的是什么意思）还是会受伤。但我已经进步很多了。这就是我给建议时的心理背景。闲话少说，我们开始吧。

It's still hard to read a comment that's like, ew. Emma looks chopped in, whatever that fucking means. You know, it sucks, but I've come a long way. And so that's where I'm coming from as I give you this advice. And so without further ado, let's begin.

有人问：如何爱真实的自己？喷了美黑喷雾染了头发更自信是坏事吗？说实话，我觉得做完造型、化好妆、接好睫毛、穿着时髦时更自信很正常。参与这类自我提升的行为本身并没有错。

Somebody said, how to love your natural self? Is it bad to feel more confident with a spray tan and dyed hair? To be honest, I do think it's normal to feel more confident with fun hair in a tan and makeup on and your eyebrows done and your eyelashes done with extensions and a cute outfit on. Like, I do think that that's normal. And I don't actually think it's necessarily wrong to participate in these sort of self enhancement things.

比如，我染了金发。你知道，我其实不做美黑喷雾。但我不认为这本身有什么错。利用现有的美容技术来提升外貌，这本身并非错误甚至未必有害。对吧？

Like, I have bleached hair. You know, I don't really get spray tans. But, like, I don't think that that's inherently wrong. I think using the things that are out there, the the beauty technology that's out there to enhance our appearance is not inherently wrong or even necessarily toxic. Right?

我认为我们选择通过美容来表达自我的方式——无论是发型还是美黑——都没有本质错误。如果你想拥有阳光亲吻般的肤色却不愿晒太阳，选择喷雾美黑而非自然晒黑；如果你喜欢接睫毛后的样子、喜欢修眉后的样子、喜欢浓妆的模样...我觉得这些都无可厚非。这可以成为表达自我的方式，并不自动等同于错误或有害。

I think the way that we choose to express ourselves through beauty, right, whether that's hair or even a tan. Right? You know, if you wanna look sunkissed, but you don't wanna lay out in the sun, so you choose to get a a spray tan instead of, like, a natural tan. Like, if you like the way that you look with eyelash extensions, if you like the way that you look with your eyebrows threaded, if you like the way that you look with a lot of makeup on, if you like you know, like, I don't think that that's inherently wrong. I think that can be a way of expressing yourself, and I think there's it's not automatically wrong or toxic.

不过，我认为背后的心态和动机值得自我审视，因为这些行为确实可能变得有害。就像所有事物一样，任何事都可能过界。比如你想培养健康生活方式，开始注重饮食和运动...

However, I do think that the mindset and intent behind it is important to pay attention to within yourself because I think these things can become toxic. As with all things, I think everything can become toxic. Like, let's say you wanna, you know, develop a healthy lifestyle. You wanna start eating healthy, exercising. You know?

表面看来这是好事。照顾身体本是美好的，但可能矫枉过正，导致各种失调。任何事物过量或动机不纯，都可能让本无伤大雅的事变得有害。

On paper, that's like a healthy thing. You know, taking care of your body is a beautiful thing, but that can be taken too far. And you can develop various disorders from doing that. You know? Too much of anything or the wrong intent behind something can make something that could be harmless actually harmful.

美黑喷雾、染发等也是如此。若你将其作为表达自我的方式，作为个人风格的延伸，这没有问题。但当用它来隐藏真实的自己时，就变得有害了。

Right? And I think that's the case with things like getting spray tans, dying your hair, whatever. I think if you're using it as a way to express yourself and you're using it as a way to sort of style yourself, right, it's like it enhances your personal style. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think it becomes wrong or not even wrong, but it becomes toxic and harmful when you're using these types of things to hide yourself.

你是在隐藏自我。不是用这些来提升自己，而是掩盖那些令你难以承受的不安。如果你自省时发现：'我需要靠美黑和定期美发才能接受自己，没有这些就无法接纳本我'...

You're hiding yourself. You're not using these things to enhance yourself, but rather to hide yourself, to cover up, you know, insecurities that are so overbearing that you can't stand them. And so you're using these things to hide yourself. And so I think if you're doing some self reflection and you're like, okay, I am kind of using the spray tan and the hair appointment to get myself to a point where I can accept myself. Like, without these things, I cannot accept myself.

当你意识到这点并开始警铃大作——'或许这样不太健康'，那很可能确实有问题。这时学会接纳天然真实的自己，会是极其有益的功课。

If you're noticing that and it's starting to ring alarm bells in your head, like, oh, maybe this isn't good. You know? Maybe maybe this is getting to a point it's toxic. Then it probably is. And in that case, I think it can be a really beneficial thing to teach yourself to accept you for who you are as a natural person.

当你从内心找到这种接纳后，就能重新享受这些事情。但我觉得熟能生巧，明白吗？如果多年来你一直喷美黑喷雾、染发，或许现在是时候回归本真一阵子，练习以自然状态生活，逐渐适应并学会通过实践接纳这样的自己。最终你仍可以重新参与这些活动，但或许会带着更健康的新视角。

And then once you find that acceptance within yourself, then you can go back out and enjoy these things again. But I think practice makes perfect. You know? If if for years you've been getting a spray tan and dying your hair, maybe it's time to go back to your natural self for a little bit and practice living as you, as a natural person, and get comfortable with that and learn to accept it through practice and and living it. And then eventually, you can go back to participating in these things, but perhaps with a new healthier perspective.

但我真心认为熟能生巧——通过不喷美黑喷雾、不染发、或许暂时少化些妆，作为自我接纳的练习，你会逐渐对这个版本的自己感到更自在。通过反复接触真实的自己，你会开始发现这个版本的美丽之处，学会用让自己感到自信的方式装扮这个形象。这并不容易，我的描述可能让它听起来比实际简单得多。

But I really do think practice makes perfect By not getting a spray tan, by not dying your hair, by maybe wearing less makeup for a little bit as sort of an exercise in self acceptance, slowly but surely, you'll become more comfortable with this version of yourself. You'll start to see the beauty in that version of yourself as you expose yourself to yourself over and over again. You'll start to learn how to style this version of yourself in a way that makes you feel confident. And it's not an easy thing. I think the way that I'm describing it makes it sound far more simple than it actually is.

不是每天都会轻松，但强迫自己保持自然状态一阵子，起初确实会不适。最初你的不安全感会非常强烈且直面而来。但通过持续实践和存在，你会逐渐开始用有趣的方式化妆来突显本真，穿能衬托自然美的衣服，并再次发现其中的美好。

Not every day is gonna be easy, but I think by sort of forcing yourself to to be natural for a little bit, it will be uncomfortable at first. Your insecurities will be really loud and in your face at first. But eventually through practice and through existing, you'll slowly but surely start to do, you know, makeup in fun ways that enhance your natural self. You'll start to wear clothes that, you know, enhance your natural self. And again, you'll start to see the beauty in it.

约会就是个很好的例子。初次见面时，第一印象通常基于外貌对吧？你可能遇到一个潜在恋爱对象，比如通过相亲。

A good example of that would be in dating, right, like in romance and dating. When you first meet somebody, your first impression is usually based on what they look like. Right? And you might meet somebody who could potentially be a romantic partner. Perhaps you, like, went on a blind date.

起初你会想'我对这人没感觉'，但随着交谈相处，了解对方后，他们变得有吸引力，因为你开始接纳这个人本身。你逐渐看清他们的全貌，如果合拍，通过相处和时间积累，他们就会变得迷人。我认为你的自然状态也会经历相同过程。

And at first you're like, oh, I'm not really attracted to this person. But then as you talk to them and spend time with them and get to know them, they become attractive to you because you become comfortable with them as a person. You are you you start to see the full realm of who they are. And and, eventually, if you click with them, they become attractive to you through exposure, you know, and through time spent. It I think the same thing can happen with your natural self.

懂我意思吗？再说，接纳本真就意味着永远不参与这些有趣的自我提升活动吗？不是的。但如果你能抱着'这纯粹是乐趣'的心态去美黑或做发型，只是因为我喜欢这样搭配衣服的效果——当你能达到这种纯粹为了乐趣而非出于必要、恐惧或不安全感的境界，那就太棒了。

You know what I mean? And, again, does that mean accepting your natural self means never participating in, like, these fun self enhancement sort of things? No. But I think if you can go into getting a spray tan and getting your hair done from a place of, like, this is just fun for me, and I'm just doing it because I like the way that I you know, I like the way that it looks with clothes. I like the way you know, If you can get to a point where you're doing it for fun and you're not doing it out of a feeling of sort of, like, necessity and fear and insecurity, that's amazing.

这正是我认为我们该追求的目标。重点不是拒绝使用这些手段，而是以正确的心态对待。好了，接下来我要同时回应多个人的困扰。

And that's that's I just think that should be all of our goals. I don't think it's about not utilizing these things. I think it's just about going at it from the right mindset. Okay. Next, I'm gonna be addressing multiple people's struggles at once.

明白吗？这就像是三个人说了类似的话。一个人问：我怎样才能更接纳自己的外貌？我总是不喜欢自己的样子，这让我很沮丧。另一个人也问：我该如何爱上自己的模样？

Okay? This is, like, three three different people said kind of the same thing. One person said, how can I come to accept my appearance more? I never like what I look like, and it makes me sad. Someone else said, similarly, how do I love what I look like?

我总是觉得自己丑，愁眉苦脸的。还有人问：如何解决我的身体形象问题？我能坦白说吗，这些问题本质上都是相似的挣扎？这是一段持续的旅程，一段持续的旅程。

I always feel ugly, sad face. Somebody else said, how do I fix my body image issues? Can I be honest about all of all of these, which are all sort of, you know, a similar struggle? This is an ongoing journey. This is an ongoing journey.

我不认为这段旅程会有终点。与身体形象作斗争、努力接纳自己的外貌，这再正常不过了。我确信即便是最符合传统审美标准的人也在为此挣扎。这是人性使然，再正常不过。

I I don't know that this journey ever ends. I think it is so normal and so natural to struggle with body image, to struggle to accept yourself for what you look like. I am convinced that even the most stereotypically beautiful, perfectly fits the beauty standard person struggles with these things. I think it is human. I think it is normal.

这很自然。根据各种因素，我们都会以不同方式、在不同层面上与之抗争。当然，每个人的经历和挣扎都不同。但我坚信这是我们终其一生都要面对的事，就像生活中的许多挑战一样，需要持续练习才能与之和解。

I think it's natural. I think depending on, you know, various factors, we all struggle with it in different ways, on different levels. Like, of course, it's a different experience and a different struggle for everybody. But I I really do believe that it is something we all deal with, and we will all deal with for the rest of our lives. I think it is as with many challenges in life, it's an ongoing struggle, and it's an ongoing practice to, like, get to a good place with it.

这就像自信心——我指的不是对外表的自信，而是作为人的整体自信。这永远是场持续终生的旅程，我不认为有人能达到完全自信的终点。

You it's it's like confidence. And I'm I mean confidence not in physical self, but just confidence in you as a person. Right? That is an ongoing journey forever. I don't think we ever reach a point where we're fully confident in ourselves as individuals.

我认为这是个持续练习的过程。随着生命进程，挑战也在变化——事业、爱情、友情等变量改变时，保持自信的方式也要调整。自我接纳和健康身体形象的培养也是如此。

Like, I think it is a constant practice. It is something you're constantly improving upon. Because as your life progresses, the challenge changes. The challenge to remain confident changes as your life changes, as career things change, as your romantic relationships change, as your friendships change, as all the variables in life change, the way that you maintain your confidence changes. Same thing goes for self acceptance and and having a healthy sort of body image.

随着年岁增长，无论身体因何原因发生变化，当你容貌改变时，挑战也随之改变。因此我认为这是永恒的课题。我常提醒自己的第一条建议就是：这很正常，要对自己保持耐心，宽容这些感受。

As you age, as changes happen in your body for whatever reason, As you look different, the challenge changes. And so that's why I think it's an ongoing journey forever. And so I think the first piece of advice I have and what I try to remind myself constantly is, like, this is normal, and this this challenge is normal. And I I am constantly reminding myself to be patient with myself and forgiving of these feelings. You know?

因为我试图原谅自己对自己的负面感受，因为有时你会因为自我感觉糟糕而生自己的气。但这无济于事，反而让情况更糟。所以我试着在这段旅程中原谅自己、对自己保持耐心。但我要说我并没有能完全解决这些挑战的建议。

For I I try to forgive myself for feeling bad about myself because sometimes you can feel angry at yourself for feeling bad about yourself. And then it just that doesn't help anything. That just makes it worse. So I try to forgive myself and be patient with myself on this journey. But I I will say I don't have, like, a piece of advice to fully solve these challenges.

明白吗？我没有。但根据我的生活经验，我确实注意到有些方法会有所帮助。我认为最重要的是，能最大程度减弱这些负面感受强度的方式，就是专注于保持身心愉悦。当我在生活中安排时间照顾自己的身心健康，并成功做些让我身心愉悦的事情时，我对自身外表的感受往往会更积极些。

Okay? I don't. However, based on my life experience, I do have you know, there are certain things that I've noticed that help. And I think the most helpful thing above all, the thing that makes these feelings less strong, less intense in the most significant way is focusing on feeling good physically and mentally. When I'm in a flow in my life where I'm setting time to take care of myself physically and mentally, and I'm successfully doing things that make me feel good physically and mentally, the way I feel about my appearance just tends to be a bit more positive.

现在让我们从身体感受开始。当我吃着营养食物、为自己下厨、与所爱之人共进晚餐时，我与食物的关系是健康、积极且富有营养的。我感觉与食物保持平衡真的很有帮助——要知道我曾是个饮食失调的人。明白吗？

Now let's start with physically feeling good. When I'm eating nutritious foods and cooking for myself and sharing meals with people I love and my relationship with food is healthy, and it's and it's positive, and it's nutritious. And I feel like there's a sense of balance with food that really helps. And I'm somebody who struggled with food. Okay?

但当我在这方面状态良好、保持平衡时（这也很关键），就像不能走向极端健康主义那样反而不再健康。你也要用营养食物滋养自己——购物车里的水果蔬菜蛋白质。要保持平衡，因为吃营养食物时，你的身体会感觉良好。

But when I'm in a good place with that, and I'm in a balanced place with that, because that's the key too. It's like, don't wanna go too healthy because then that's not healthy anymore. But you also wanna be feeding yourself with nutritious foods, the fruits and the veggies and the proteins in the in the in the cart. Like, you wanna be balanced because when you eat nutritious foods, you feel good. You feel physically good.

懂吗？当饮食成为充满灵魂的体验：你为自己烹饪，吃着用爱为自己准备的食物，投入精力后美味可口，餐后感到满足温暖幸福——这真是美妙的体验。

You know? And when food becomes this soulful experience, you're cooking for yourself, and you're eating meals that you made with love for yourself. And and it you put effort into it, and then it tastes good. And and then afterwards, you feel satiated and warm and cozy and happy. And, you know, that can be such a wonderful experience.

与你爱的人共进晚餐时，饮食体验会变得更健康快乐，这种平衡是保持身体舒适的重要元素。这也与心理愉悦息息相关。还有运动——当我久坐不动时，身心都会感觉糟透了。

When you're enjoying meals with people that you love, you know, that makes your experience with food so much healthier and happier, and there's balance in that really that's a really important element of feeling physically good. But that also kinda ties into feeling mentally good as well. But also moving my body. When I'm sitting too much in my life, when I'm sedentary too much in my life, I I feel like shit. I feel like shit physically and mentally.

锻炼和运动不一定是跑马拉松或每天高强度训练、举重之类的。甚至不必如此。选择让我身心愉悦的运动方式：可能是散步（如果整天对着电脑），也可能是热瑜伽。

Exercise and movement, not necessarily, like, running marathons or, like, doing a boot camp style workout every day and, like, lifting heavy weights. Like, not even necessarily that. Moving in ways that make me feel physically good, but also mentally good. That could be a walk because I've been sitting at my computer all day. That could mean going to a hot yoga.

这可能意味着去做些普拉提，也可能意味着如果我心情好的话去参加体能训练营举重。谁知道呢？无所谓啦。关键是让身体以舒适的方式运动，而不是强迫自己做某些事。当然，有时候确实需要自我鞭策，但重点是要用合理的方式推动自己。

That could mean going to a little Pilates. That could mean going to a boot camp if that's what I'm in the mood for and lifting heavy weights. Like, who knows? Whatever. But moving my body in a way that feels good and not forcing myself to do something because I'm like, you know well, sometimes, like, sometimes you do have to sort of push yourself to move, but I think the key is pushing yourself to move in ways that make sense.

比如某天你特别累的时候，就没必要硬着头皮去做世界上最艰苦的体能训练。可能意味着：'知道吗？我们先散个步，看看感觉如何。' 生命在于运动，这真的让我身心愉悦。

Like, not if you're really tired one day, doesn't necessarily make sense to go do, like, the hardest boot camp heavyweight workout in the world. It might mean, you know what? Let's start with a walk and see what happens next. You know? It's like but moving in life, that really makes me feel physically and mentally good.

当身体感觉良好时，一切都变得容易。重点不是特定运动方式让身材看起来如何，也不是特定饮食让体型产生什么变化。当我真正找到这些事情的平衡点，当我能以真正健康的方式参与其中时，我就很少在意外表了——因为感觉太好，只想好好生活，根本不在乎形象。

When I feel physically good, it helps. And it's not about the way that exercising in particular ways makes my body look. It's not necessarily about how eating particular foods makes my body look. When I've truly found a sense of balance in these things and when I'm truly participating in these things in a way that is genuinely healthy, I think about my appearance a lot less because I feel so good that I it makes me wanna live my life. I don't even care about what I look like.

感觉好到只想活在现实世界里享受乐趣。明白吗？当然，饮食运动确实会影响体型，这是客观事实。但更重要的是，当我身体舒适时，就不会总想着'胃好痛'或'背好酸'。

I feel so good that I just wanna live in the real world and have fun. Does that make sense? And, yes, like, food and exercise impacts the way your body looks in in ways. And there that is an element. But I think more importantly, when I feel physically good, I'm not thinking about, like, my stomach hurting or feeling like my back hurts.

就是单纯感觉良好，想要好好生活。心理健康也是同理。而且我认为生理状态会极大影响心理状态。当身体健康时，绝对有助于心理健康。

Like, I just I feel good until I wanna live my life. But same thing goes for for feeling mentally good. And, I mean, I think the physical elements very much impact the mental elements. Right? So, like, when my physical health is in a good place, that absolutely helps my mental health.

但还有些其他方法能促进心理健康——奇妙的是这些方法也会改变我对自身形象的看法。当专注于现实生活时（注意是脱离网络的现实世界），我会聚焦真正重要的事：做个好人、善待他人、经营有意义的人际关系、把时间花在充实自我的事情上，无论是培养爱好、探店还是购物。

But there are other things that I can do to feel mentally healthy that weirdly impact the way I feel about how I look. Right? When I am focused on living in the real world, okay, off the Internet, in the real world, I'm focused on the things that really matter. Okay? What really, really matters what really matters is being a good person, treating people well, having meaningful relationships in life, spending your time off doing things that are fulfilling for you, whether that's a hobby or trying new restaurants or going shopping.

具体做什么不重要，重要的是用闲暇时间做真正带来快乐的事。保持自律——健康的那种自律，推动自己追求目标但要保持平衡。听着，我说的所有这些，就像是生活的理想稳态。

I don't care. Doing things with your time off that truly bring you joy. Having a sense of discipline, a healthy sense of discipline, you know, pushing yourself to work towards towards your goals, but in a way that's balanced. Listen. All of the things that I'm describing here are, like, the ideal homeostasis for life.

对吧？我是说，虽然不确定'体内平衡'这个词是否准确，但这就像追求生活中的完美平衡，尽可能保持最佳的身心健康状态。但现实能24小时都这样吗？不可能。我觉得生活中总有些地方不尽如人意。

Right? I mean, I don't know if homeostasis is really the right word to use, but it's like having the perfect balance in life, having you know, living the healthiest life mentally and physically possible. Now is this realistic twenty four seven? No. I feel like in my life, there's always something that I'm there's always something that's not going perfectly.

对吧？比如有时我身体状态特别好，社交生活也很丰富，但工作却失去平衡，可能正经历职业倦怠。又或者某段时间身体欠佳，感觉浑身难受，但工作却异常高效。

Right? Like, might be in a place where I feel physically super healthy and, you know, perhaps my social life is really good, but my work life is maybe a bit imbalanced. Maybe I'm experiencing a bit of burnout. Or maybe there's a phase in my life where I don't feel physically healthy necessarily. I feel kind of like shit physically, but my work life is really productive.

我在工作上非常自律。但这种状态很难维持，需要高度专注，是场持久战。不过说实话，当身心越健康时——外貌先放一边——我就越少纠结外表，更愿意接纳真实的自己，因为感觉良好活在当下时，根本不会太在意这些。

I have a lot of discipline in my work life. Like, whatever. It's very hard to be in this place. It's very hard, and it takes so much focus, but and it's a constant battle. But I will say, the healthier I am physically and mentally, my appearance aside, the e the the the less I think about my appearance and the more willing I am to accept my appearance for what it is because I feel so good, and I'm existing in the real world, so I don't even care as much.

而在意的部分也会因为状态好而变得灵活。但复杂的是，人类总容易走极端——过度自律、饮食太讲究、运动过量，这反而又成了不健康。寻找平衡本身就很耗神，老实说是份全职工作。但专注追求健康的过程，自然就会转移对外貌的执念，因为你会想：'我只想感觉良好，找到平衡'。

And the part of me that does care is a bit more flexible because I feel good, but it's complicated because we have a tendency as humans to, like, take things too far, you know, and become too disciplined, start eating too healthy, start exercising too much, and then that's unhealthy too. It's finding the balance is exhausting. It's challenging, and it's a full time job, to be honest. But I will say that even just focusing on it and trying to get to a healthy place in itself will distract you from what you look like because you're so focused on bettering yourself that you're like, I don't even care about what I look like because this is my focus is, like, I wanna feel good. I just wanna feel good and find balance.

当你专注内在时，外貌的重要性自然就会降低。至少这是我的经验。当然每个人情况不同，但对我来说很有效。另外也要注意控制网络和各类媒体的摄入。

And if you focus on that, the way you look, its importance will dwindle in a way. I don't know. That's at least my experience. And, again, I think it's different for everyone, but I've I've found that that's what tends to work best for me. But I also think to be careful with your Internet consumption in your consumption of all sorts of media.

网络和媒体总让我们通过比较产生焦虑——不断看到别人光鲜亮丽的样子。如果你正处于低谷期，暂时远离网络社交媒体会很有帮助。先调整好状态，等内心强大了再回来看那些穿搭博主、网红造型——那时你才能以更健康的心态面对。

I think the Internet and media in general can make us feel so much worse about ourselves through the obvious comparison, through being exposed to people looking their best all the time. Like, that undeniably plays a role. And so I think if you're in a place where you're particularly struggling, I think, like, it it can be really helpful to sort of distance yourself from the Internet and from social media for a little bit, focus on feeling good, and then you can go back to, like, looking at what other people are doing on the Internet and what they're wearing and how hot they look or whatever the fuck. Like, then you can go back to that from a stronger place. But I think if you're in a in a particular phase in your life where you're struggling, that only makes it worse.

所以这也是需要注意的。有人说：'我才22岁，但周围人都打预防性肉毒杆菌让我很焦虑'。我完全理解这种行业现象——通过肉毒、填充、拉提、颊脂垫切除来'优化'外貌确实很普遍。

So that's something to keep in mind as well. Okay. Somebody said, I'm only 22, but I feel the pressure to get preventative Botox because everyone else is doing it. I don't really think I need it, but everyone else getting it makes me question that. I understand this in a big way because it's very common in this industry to routinely improve appearance through things like Botox, filler, facelift, buccal fat removal.

就像，我正处于这种审美标准的核心地带，有时会感受到同侪压力，甚至不一定是压力，而是一种‘我是不是错过了什么？我是不是也该这么做？因为别人都在做，我不做是不是有问题？’的感觉。

Like, I am in the epicenter, it feels like, at times of this facet of the of the beauty standard. And so I understand the sort of feeling of peer pressure at times to participate or not even necessarily peer pressure, but the feeling of, like, am I not like, am I, like, missing something? Like, should I be doing this too? Because everyone else is doing it. So, like, is there something wrong with me that I'm not doing it?

我不参与这个是不是就落后了？我是不是做了错误的决定？我懂这种感觉。但我要说句老掉牙的话了：老话说得好，不能因为朋友跳桥你就跟着跳，或者类似的话。

Am I falling behind by not participating in this? Am I making the wrong decision? I get it. But I'm gonna sound like a grandma right now. There's the age old saying, just because your friend jumped off a bridge doesn't mean you should too or something like that.

本质上就是说别人做什么不代表你也要做。当然，打肉毒杆菌、做预防性肉毒肯定比跳桥好多了。而且某种程度上说，跳桥可比打预防性肉毒蠢多了——除非你找的是不正规的医生，我在网上就看到过有人去找非专业注射师的情况。

Basically meaning just because other people are doing something doesn't mean you should do it too. Now, obviously, getting Botox, getting preventative Botox is not nearly as bad as jumping off of a bridge. And and I think too, like, jumping off a bridge is much dumber than getting preventative Botox in some ways. I mean, getting preventative Botox can be dumb if you're not going to, like, a proper doctor, which is something that I've seen happen on the Internet. Some people are going to people who are not, like, professional injectors.

有些人注射过量肉毒导致脸都僵了。打肉毒是有风险的，懂吗？就算找经验丰富的专业医师也可能出问题。

You know, some people are are going in getting too much Botox to the point where, like, their face doesn't move. There's a lot of thing like, there are risks with getting Botox. Right? Things can go wrong. Even if you're going to an experienced person who's really good at giving Botox Botox, things can go wrong.

要知道，这本质上是在往脸上注射一种毒素——它让面部肌肉麻痹来防止皱纹产生，因为反复做表情会产生细纹，原理就是这样。

You know? It's you're injecting technically a a a type of I think it's poison into your face that makes your muscles in your face not move so that, you know, your face doesn't move to create wrinkles because that's what creates wrinkles. If you move your face over and over again, little seams will form. Little lines will form. That's how it works.

对吧？但任何这类操作都可能出意外。当然它没跳桥那么危险，但风险确实存在。

Right? But anytime you're doing something like that, things can go wrong. So, I mean, is it as risky as jumping off a bridge? No. But there are risks involved.

关键是：我认为打肉毒在道德上没什么错。在我看来，人们有权对自己的脸和身体为所欲为——这完全是你自己的选择。

Here's the thing. I don't think there's anything there's nothing morally wrong necessarily with getting Botox. People can do in my opinion, people can do whatever the fuck they want, whatever the fuck they want to their face and their body and whatever. It is up to you. You know?

当我开始告诉别人该对他们的脸和身体做什么的那一刻，就是别人可以告诉我该不该按自己意愿对待自己脸的那一刻。这不公平。我们可以做任何想做的事。而且我也不认为——我不一定相信把道德价值附加在'天然'或'完成事情'上。我同样不相信这种观点。

The second I start telling people what to do with their face and body is the second that people are allowed to tell me I'm allowed to do or I'm not allowed to do what I want with my face. It's not it's not fair. We can do whatever we want. And I also don't think that there's I I don't necessarily believe in, like, attaching moral value to being natural or, you know, getting things done. Like, I just don't believe in that either.

我只是觉得这不公平。但这确实是个棘手的问题，因为像肉毒杆菌这样的东西，你知道，它是一种阻止面部衰老迹象的疗程，这推广了一种特定的美丽标准，那就是年轻，对吧？我想自古以来这就是一种美丽标准。所以这很棘手，因为尽管打肉毒杆菌没有错，但通过肉毒杆菌的普及化，保持年轻、不长皱纹的压力被放大了。所以打肉毒杆菌的人没有错，但以年轻为美的标准确实有点糟糕。

I just don't think that it's fair. But this is a tricky one, though, because things like Botox, you know, it is a procedure that prevents physical signs of aging on the face, which promotes a certain beauty standard, which is youthfulness, right, which has been a beauty standard since the dawn of time, I imagine. Right? And so that is tricky because even though there's nothing wrong with getting Botox, the pressure to feel young and youthful and to not wrinkle is made worse by the by the normalization of of Botox. And so nobody is wrong for getting Botox, but the beauty standard of youthfulness is not that's a bit shitty.

对吧？这似乎是不可避免的，但很糟糕。这很恶心。因为看起来更年轻而在某种程度上被认为更有价值，这在道德上并不好。这很恶心。

Right? It's kind of inevitable, it seems, but it sucks. It's shitty. It's not it's that's not morally good for somebody to be considered more valuable in a way because they look younger. Like, that's not that's gross.

对吧？所以当你面对那种要保持年轻的社会压力或同侪压力时，你对抗的就是这种邪恶。某种程度上，这种社会观念才是邪恶和错误的。我认为作为人类，我们持续的斗争就是为自己做决定，而不是基于别人在做什么、美丽标准是什么来做决定。我们需要努力维护的是对自己身体的自主决策权。

Right? And so that's sort of the evil that you're up against when you're dealing with the sort of peer pressure or the societal pressure to look young for longer. This the societal sort of belief is what's evil in a way and what's wrong. And I think an ongoing battle for us as human beings is to make decisions for ourselves, not make decisions based on what other people are doing or what the beauty standard is or this or that. The thing that we need to fight to maintain is our autonomy to make decisions for ourselves in our in our body.

你知道吗？当感觉每个人都在打预防性肉毒杆菌时，要为自己做决定真的很困难。这是非常具有挑战性的事，因为我们是社会性动物，会看到别人在做什么，也想跟着做。我们想变得正常，想融入群体。

You know? It's like, it's really challenging to feel like everybody's getting preventative Botox and to then make a decision for yourself. Like, that is a very challenging thing to do because we're social animals, we see what other people are doing, and we wanna do it too. We wanna be normal. We wanna fit in.

但我们自然也都会感受到美丽标准的吸引力。对吧？很难不感受到，因为在很多方面，这在网络上会得到回报，在现实中也会——那种压力是切实存在的。它是可感知的，也是不可避免的。

But we also naturally want to like, we all feel the pull of the beauty standard. Right? Like, it's it's very hard not to feel that because in a lot of ways, it is it is rewarded on the Internet. It is rewarded in real like, that pressure is is palpable. It's palpable, and it's inevitable.

所以在这样的环境中，为自己做决定非常困难。但听起来你觉得自己不需要它，也对此不感兴趣。因为如果你感兴趣，你早就去做了，也不会来问我该怎么办，不会问我如何处理这种两难困境。

And so it's very hard in that sort of environment to make a decision for yourself. But it sounds like you feel like you don't need it. And it sounds like it's not something you're interested in. Because if it was, you would just have done it already, and you wouldn't be asking me what to do. You wouldn't be asking me how to handle that sort of dilemma.

之所以会有这种纠结，是因为这件事让你感到不太对劲。可能是因为注射肉毒杆菌存在风险，可能会出问题。也可能是因为你相信自然衰老的美，想成为未来孩子们眼中自然老去的榜样，诸如此类的原因。

The reason why there's a dilemma is because this is something that doesn't quite sit right with you. Maybe it's because there's risks that come with getting Botox. It can go wrong. Maybe it's because you believe in the beauty of aging naturally. You know, you want to be an example of of aging naturally for perhaps your children one day, whatever.

比如，这可能违背你的道德观。你可能不相信通过某些美容手段来改变面容和身体，无论具体是什么。出于某种原因，这件事让你感到不对劲。又或者你只是觉得自己还太年轻，这些事应该留到以后再说。

Like, it might go against your morals. You might not believe in in, you know, using certain cosmetic procedures to change your face and body, whatever it may be. This for some reason is not sitting right with you. Or maybe you just feel like you're too young to be doing these things. Like, that's something you wanna deal with down the line.

无论什么原因，既然感觉不对，这就是你来问我建议的原因。相信你的直觉。如果感觉不对，就不要做。你不需要，也完全没有必要这么做。

For whatever reason, it doesn't feel right to you. That's why you're asking me what to do. Trust your instinct. If this doesn't feel right for you, don't do it. You don't and, also, you don't need to do it.

没人非要做这些事。懂我意思吗？别让社会压力迫使你变成不像自己的样子。要到达做决定更轻松的境地，我认为关键在于——虽然永远不会完全轻松——但关键在于根据你自己的信念、道德观、价值观和人生时间线来做决定。比如也许某天你会想打肉毒，但预防性注射现在让你觉得...怎么说呢？

No one needs to do this stuff. You know what I'm saying? Don't don't let society pressure you into conforming into something that doesn't feel like you. You know? I think the way to get to a point where this is easier I don't think it's ever, again, like, perfectly easy, but I think the the way to get yourself to a point where making decisions for you based on you and your beliefs and your morals and values and your timeline in life, what when, you know, you wanna do things or when you don't like, maybe you do wanna get Botox one day, but maybe preventative feels a little bit like, what?

比如我22岁，你还是个孩子。前额叶皮质都没发育完全，根本不需要开始打肉毒。完全没必要，永远都不需要。

Like, I I'm 22. You're a child. Your prefrontal cortex isn't even fully developed. You don't need to start you don't need to start Botox. You just don't, and you never do.

但如果你想达到能轻松做决定的境界，我认为关键在于自信——内在的自信而非外在的，强大的自我认知。要达到这种状态，我的意思是，熟能生巧。但增强自我认知的方法包括：第一，对此类复杂话题进行自我反思；第二，与亲近的人讨论这类复杂话题，明确自己的立场从而获得信心。

But if you wanna get to a point where it's easier for you to make decisions based on you, I think that comes down to confidence, internal confidence, not external confidence, internal confidence, a strong sense of self. And I think the way that you get to that point, it's I mean, again, it's like practice makes perfect. But I think some of the ways that you can strengthen your sense of self is number one, self reflection about sort of complex topics such as this. Right? Talking to other people who you're close to about complex topics such as this and finding figuring out where you stand on things in a way that gives you confidence.

比如我对自己的立场非常明确——当然不是永远不变的立场。我不断反思并试图厘清对这类事情的看法，经常与身边人讨论复杂话题，试图明确自己的立场。因为我知道通过这样做，我正在成为更强大的Emma，我的自我认知正在变得更坚定。所以我持续进行这种练习，因为我深知它的价值。懂吗？

Like, I am very certain about where I stand on things, not necessarily in a way where, like, they'll never change, but, like, I am constantly reflecting and trying to figure out how I feel about these certain types of things. I'm constantly having conversations with people in my life about complicated topics and trying to figure out where I stand on them because I know that through doing that, I'm becoming a stronger Emma. I'm become like, my sense of self is becoming stronger. And so I'm sort of in this practice of doing that because I know the value that it brings. You know?

比如，我选择与人进行这类对话。我选择自我反思。通过这种方式，我获得了对自我认知的信心。但我也认为，坚守这一点，向自己证明你为自己做决定，通过积极面对像这样的时刻——当你有点想随大流，但最终没这么做因为那不是真实的你——在生活中尽可能多地这样做，也有助于建立自我认知。这有助于培养自尊。

Like, I choose to have these types of conversations with people. I choose to self reflect. And through that, I've gained a sense of confidence in in sense of self. But then I think too, standing firm in that, like, proving to yourself that you make decisions for you through actively facing a moment like this where you're kinda tempted to, like, do what everyone else is doing, but then you don't because it's not you, doing that in life as often as you can helps build your sense of self as well. It helps build self respect.

当你尊重自己并了解自己是谁时——这又是一个需要终身练习的过程——但当你做到时，这类困境就不会显得那么令人困惑，因为你人生的首要任务和指引灯塔是你自己的观点，而非他人的。我是说，这甚至更像是个无底洞。我觉得拥有自我认知、对自己的信念和立场有信心，就像是个可以不断深挖的无底洞。有太多因素共同作用，让你成为一个好人，在生活中保持自律。

And when you respect yourself and you and you know who you are, which, again, is a practice that's ongoing for life, but when you have that, these types of dilemmas don't feel as confusing because you your number one priority, your guiding light in life is your own perspective rather than everyone else's. I mean, there's even more like, this is kind of a rabbit hole, though. Like, I feel like having a sense of self and having confidence in yourself and your beliefs and your opinions and where you stand on things. Like, there's a rabbit hole that you could go down of different things that sort of allow you to have that sort of confidence and sense of self. Like like, there's so many different things that compound to give you that being a good person, having discipline in your life.

有太多因素导致这种状态，我可以说上一整天。所以我适可而止，但我想你明白我的意思了。接下来有人说：TikTok让我自我感觉很差，因为看起来每个人都有20步护肤流程，都有完美肌肤和可爱衣服，这让我压力很大。但同时我又爱无脑刷TikTok，似乎完全戒不掉。我该怎么办？

Like, there are so many things that lead to it that it's like, I could sit here all day and talk about it. So I'll stop while I'm ahead, but I think you get the idea. Next, somebody said TikTok makes me feel so bad about myself because it feels like everyone has a 20 step skincare routine, and everyone has perfect skin, and everyone has cute clothes, and it weighs on me. But at the same time, I love the mindlessness of watching TikToks, and I can't seem to fully get off. What should I do?

我认为第一步是要意识到它让你感觉糟糕。对吧？能承认这点本身就是巨大进步，因为几年前我沉迷TikTok时——现在想想很疯狂——我花了很长时间才意识到这是个问题。当我意识到时，已经为时已晚。

Well, I think the first step to this is realizing that it's making you feel like shit. Right? The acknowledgment is actually that's like a huge accomplishment because, like, years ago, when I was on TikTok a lot like, I was addicted to TikTok for which is crazy to think about. But it took me a long time to realize that it was a problem. And the second I realized it was a problem, it was so, like, late in the game.

我当时状态太糟，只能彻底删除应用。虽然多次尝试重新安装都失败了。可能还会再试，不确定。这个平台有时真的很毒害人。

I was so down bad that I just had to delete the app altogether. And I've tried to return to TikTok many times and failed. I might try again. I don't know. It's just it really weighs it's a really toxic platform at times.

它确实可能成为非常有害的平台。无论你是发布还是浏览TikTok内容，这个平台都可能极具毒性。我认为它就是个有害平台。你以惊人速度消费各种话题和观点，这种感官超载对大脑有多重伤害。而且如果你在TikTok发内容，上面的讨论往往相当激烈。

It can be a really toxic platform. Whether you're posting TikToks or you're consuming TikToks, it can be a really toxic platform. I think it is a toxic platform. You know, the speed in which you're consuming different topics and opinions, and it's like such it's such sensory overload that is toxic in a lot of ways for your brain. But, also, if you post on TikTok TikTok the the discourse on TikTok tends to be pretty rough.

在TikTok上最火的内容是激怒型素材，那些让人火大的内容，评论区全是愤怒的'你为什么这么做？为什么这么说？'这类内容在TikTok最受欢迎。总之我认为这是个有害平台，能得出它对你没好处的结论很正常。另外，针对我们今天话题，算法还特别推荐那些看起来超棒、超性感、妆容精致的人。

Like, the type of content that does best on TikTok is rage bait, stuff that pisses people off, where the comment section is all, like, people pissed off and, like, why'd you do that? Why'd you say that? That's the type of stuff that does best on TikTok. So, overall, I think it's a toxic platform, and I think it's very normal to come to the conclusion that it's not good for you. I think too that another thing that does well in the algorithm to speak specifically to our topic of the day is people who look amazing, who look really hot, who have, like, their makeup beautifully done.

这类内容在TikTok上确实很受欢迎。如果你经常看那些光鲜亮丽、皮肤完美、穿搭可爱的博主，算法就会给你推送更多类似内容。我觉得这是很多TikTok用户的共同经历，但大多数人意识不到问题所在。我自己也是花了很长时间才明白，直到最终被TikTok搞到精神崩溃。

Like, that is something that does very well on TikTok. And so if you watch content of people who look amazing, have perfect skin, have a cute outfit on, you're gonna get more of that content. The algorithm knows. And so I think this is a lot of people's experience on TikTok for one, but a lot of people struggle to realize what the issue is. And I I struggle to realize what the issue was for a very long time until my inevitable sort of TikTok induced mental breakdown.

你能在彻底崩溃前意识到问题已经很了不起了——就是那种'再打开这个app我就要疯了'的状态。说真的这很棒。我有几个建议：如果你真心喜欢TikTok，只是被特定类型内容困扰，可以试试那个'不感兴趣'功能（虽然不确定现在还有没有）。

So it's kind of a miraculous thing that you have realized that it's a problem before you're at the point where you're like, I actually can't open this app again without having a mental breakdown. You know what I mean? Like, that's actually really that's good. I think there's a few a few ways that you can address this. If you really love TikTok and it's really truly an isolated an isolated issue where it's just this certain type of content that you're getting that's bothering you, Perhaps you could use the little feature where I don't even know if this still exists on TikTok.

应该还有吧？我很久没用TikTok了。不过所有社交平台基本都有这个功能——在设置角落点个按钮，选择'不感兴趣'。我在YouTube就经常这么干，不想看的内容直接屏蔽。

It must, but I don't know. I haven't been on TikTok in a while, so I don't really know how it works. But on almost all social media platforms, if you don't wanna see a certain type of content, you can go and click the little button in the corner for settings or something and click, I'm not interested in this content, anytime you get content you don't want to see. I do that all the time on YouTube especially. If I don't want to see something anymore, I'll click that.

这样算法就知道你的偏好了。说不定就这么简单？如果试过后发现虽然解决了内容问题，但TikTok还是让你焦虑...

Then the algorithm knows I don't wanna see that anymore. Maybe it's that simple. Maybe try that. And if you're like, wait a minute. Actually, that that did kinda solve that problem, but TikTok is still seemingly causing anxiety, causing causing negative emotions.

或许你该找个新的无脑娱乐方式。比如转战YouTube追剧时代？或者沉迷按摩？鬼知道呢。

Maybe you need to find for the time being a new mindless source of entertainment. Maybe you need to get into your YouTube era. Maybe you need to get into your TV era. Maybe you need to get into getting massages. I don't fucking know.

总之我觉得是时候找个临时替代品了。给自己放一个月TikTok假，用其他同样不用动脑的方式消遣，懂吧？

I don't know. But, like, then I think it's time to sort of find a replacement for a time being. Give yourself a one month break from TikTok. Entertain yourself in some other way that's equally as mindless. Right?

不是说非要读书画画当消遣——这些还是太费劲了。无脑娱乐的精髓就是躺着发呆看东西。完全戒掉这种娱乐方式根本不现实。

You don't need to, like, start reading books as your form of mindless entertainment. You don't need to start painting. Like, that stuff is still hard. Like, there's something about mindlessness where you can just lay there and rot and watch something. Like, I don't think the the way to go is to remove all mindless entertainment because that's too hard.

最终你还是会回到TikTok，因为你会觉得‘我做不到’。你需要找到一种稍微健康但依然无需动脑的消遣。可能是YouTube，可能是一部新剧，也可能是真人秀节目。

And then you're just gonna end up going back to TikTok because you're like, I can't you know? You need to find something that's a little bit healthier but still mindless. That might be YouTube. That might be a new TV show. That might be reality TV.

我不知道具体是什么。你需要自己找到答案，但请在其他地方寻找这种‘无脑’状态。暂时远离这个平台，看看感觉如何。最后有人说：‘我真的非常害怕看起来老去’。

I don't know what it is. You need to figure it out, but find the mindlessness elsewhere. Get away from the platform for a little bit and see how you feel. Okay. And lastly, somebody said, I'm genuinely terrified of looking old.

如何接受变老是正常的？我最近意识到，能活到老年在某种程度上确实是一种福气和成就。这是一种特权。能活到老年是福气也是特权，不是每个人都有这种经历。

How do I accept that aging is normal? A realization that I had somewhat recently is that it is truly a blessing and an accomplishment in a way to live into your old age. It's a it's a privilege. It's it's a blessing and a privilege to live into your old age. Not everybody gets to have that experience.

是的，随之而来的就是看起来老去。但如果你用现实的眼光来看，稍微拉远视角，有皱纹其实是一种特权。我知道凡事都是相对的。害怕变老完全正常。

And, yes, something that comes with that is looking old. But if you look at it with some real life perspective, if you zoom out a little bit, it is a privilege to have wrinkles. Now I know it's like everything's relative. Right? And it is totally normal to be afraid of aging.

所以我并不是要强行让你‘看大局’。现在别老想着皱纹了。我们会重新聚焦的。但每当我开始为小事焦虑时——比如外貌或工作压力——有个方法能帮我调整视角。

And so I'm not, like, trying to, like, be like, look at the bigger picture here. Okay? Now stop thinking about, like, wrinkles. Like, we'll zoom back in. But, like, something that's given me perspective whenever I start to worry about the small shit, like, I'm I you know, what I look like or, like, you know, little work related things that stress me out.

当我过度关注那些本质上无关紧要的事情并任其消耗自己时，我必须退后一步看大局。大局就是：世界上有太多灵魂因各种悲剧原因而无法经历皱纹。能经历衰老和皱纹，说直白点就是有幸在这个星球上存在这么久。现在每当我纠结小事时，我就会想：我他妈真该感恩自己还活着。

When I when I get hyper focused on something that's ultimately inconsequential like that type of stuff and I let it consume me, I have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. And the bigger picture is this. The bigger picture is that there are so many souls that didn't get to experience wrinkles for whatever tragic sort of reason. And to experience aging and and getting wrinkles is to have been, for the lack of a better word, blessed enough to exist for that long on this planet. Like, I'm at a point now where anytime I'm like, I start focusing on the small stuff, I'm like, I actually just need to be fucking grateful I'm here.

感恩我还活着。感恩生命中正在经历的所有福气——我不是在宗教意义上说‘福气’，只是找不到更好的词来包容无神论观众。真的，你是不是无神论者我完全不在意。

Grateful I'm here. Grateful for the fact that, like, you know, for all of the blessings that I'm actively experiencing in my life. And I'm not even saying blessings necessarily in, like, a religious sense, but for the lack of a better term, like, to keep it broad for those of you who are maybe even atheist. Okay? I don't care if you're atheist.

没关系。总有值得感恩的事。就我个人而言，现在根本没必要为皱纹焦虑——因为皱纹越多，说明我越长寿。我就是这么看待这个问题的，所以我不害怕。

It doesn't matter. There's always something to be grateful for. I just I can't I personally can't justify worrying about wrinkles at this point because if I the more wrinkly I get, the longer I defy death. That's just the way I look at it. And so that makes me not afraid.

我不怕变老。更糟的是什么？是衰老还是死亡？你懂我意思吗？我就是这样给自己理清思路的。

I'm not afraid of aging. What's worse? That or dying? You know what I'm saying? Now that's the way I put it into perspective for myself.

对吧？听起来很极端。在你们有些人看来可能视角拉得太远了，但每当我过度纠结于像显老这种最终无关紧要的事情时，我就会这样提醒自己。但我也觉得，如果我们把视角拉近，害怕衰老和害怕显老其实很正常，因为我们确实生活在一个崇尚青春的文化里。

Right? Seems extreme. Seems like zooming out too far to to some of you perhaps, but that is a reminder that I give to myself whenever I get hyper fixated on something like looking old that's ultimately inconsequential. Right? But I also think, you know, if we wanna if we were to zoom back in, it's normal to fear aging and fear looking older because we do experience the celebration of youthfulness.

明白吗？青春本就是审美标准的一部分。所以害怕变老很正常，因为我们不断被提醒年轻才是该追求的状态——无论是广告里，还是那篇以我为封面的文章说Z世代像牛奶一样容易变质。为什么会这样？因为我们总被灌输青春很珍贵。

You know? That's part of the beauty standard. So it's normal to to fear aging because we're constantly being reminded that youthfulness is what we should be striving for, whether it's in commercials or it's in an article with me as the face of it that says Gen Z is aging like milk. Why is that? You know, it's like we're constantly being reminded that youthfulness is valuable.

因此我们害怕衰老几乎不是自己的错，就像有人刻意让我们恐惧衰老。所以即便明白宏观视角，害怕依然正常且自然——我们想要被同龄人接纳，想要感受美丽，渴望获得这些体验。

And so it's it's almost not even our fault that we fear aging. It's like we're being told to fear it. And so even though there's this bigger picture, it is still normal and I think natural to to still fear it because we wanna be accepted by our peers. We want we want to feel beautiful. We wanna feel all these things.

而且随着年龄增长，我们确实面临很多不利因素。但除了用生命宏观视角来开解自己（我觉得这对缓解焦虑有帮助），在更具体的层面，专注于可控之事也很有用。明白吗？有很多事能让你以更理想的方式衰老——这些事本质上对我们健康有益。

And so and there's a lot of odds stacked against us as we age. But I think in addition to, you know, kind of reminding yourself of the bigger picture of life as a whole, which I think helps with this type of stuff, I think on a more macro level, it can also be helpful to just focus on what you can control. Okay? There are many things that you can do that will help you age in a way that's perhaps more ideal in your head, right, that ultimately are actually healthy for us. Right?

无论是涂防晒霜、坚持护肤仪式保持肌肤健康水润，还是多喝水、健康饮食、尽量减压。你能掌控的许多小事都能让你更优雅地衰老——专注于可控之事。想尽可能优雅地老去没什么错，所以别喝酒，记得涂防晒。

Whether it's wearing sunscreen or it's having a skincare routine ritual that keeps your skin healthy and hydrated, or it's drinking a lot of water, or it's eating well, or trying to eliminate as much stress as possible. There's so many different things that you can do that are in your control that will help you age perhaps in a way that is more like, focus on what you can control. Don't think there's anything wrong with being like, you know, I wanna age as gracefully as possible, and I wanna you know? So don't drink alcohol. Wear sunscreen.

这些都是你可以做的事情。这些事情最终会对你的生活产生积极影响，既健康又能让你在一定程度上对衰老有所掌控。因为我们常常会纠结于那些无法控制的事情——比如衰老的过程——但其实通过好好照顾自己，我们多少能获得一些掌控感。与其担忧衰老，不如怀着感恩之心生活，专注于那些能让你更好照顾自己的方式，这样你或许会对自己的衰老过程更满意。

Those are things that you can do. And those are things that are ultimately net positive in your life that are healthy, but can, but can give you a semblance of control over your aging in a way. Cause I think a lot of times we tend to spiral about the things that we can't control and we can't control the way that we age, but we can a little bit through taking really good care of ourselves. And that's a net positive thing to focus on. So instead of worrying about aging, focus on having gratitude for your life and focusing on the ways that you can take care of yourself so that you can age in a way that maybe you'll be more satisfied with.

但另一方面，我发现衰老并不是什么可怕的事情。我觉得那些满脸皱纹的老人非常迷人且美丽。这或许也关乎你如何重新定义美——可能随着成熟度和生活经验的积累，你对美的认知也会改变。

But the other thing is too, it's like, I I find that aging is not this horrendous thing to be afraid of. Like, I find older folks, who are who are wrinkly and who whatever, to be so charming and beautiful. Like, I don't know. I there's also something to be said for, like, changing what you see as beautiful. Like, I don't you know, it's like, maybe it comes with a level of maturity or life experience.

我也不太确定。但我不那么害怕衰老了，因为当我看到90岁的老人时，会觉得他们简直酷毙了，又帅又有型。这大概就是年龄带给我的变化吧。

I'm not really sure. But, like, I I also don't fear aging as much because there are people who are, like, 90 years old where I'm like, they look fucking badass and, like, hot and cool. I just don't know. I don't know. But that has come with age for me.

这是随着年龄增长自然发生的。由于生活经验的积累，我对美的理解和感受都发生了变化。虽然我还年轻，但相比18岁时，现在对美的认知已经不那么肤浅了。所以你可以期待的是：随着人生阅历的丰富，你将不再那么害怕容颜老去。

That's something that has just happened naturally as I've gotten older. And my my understanding in my personal feelings about beauty have changed because I've just had more life experience. And, I mean, I'm still a young person, but, like, compared to when I was 18, you know, what I think is beautiful has changed. It's it's far less surface level now. So, you know, that's another thing that you can look forward to is perhaps as you mature in your life, you're not gonna be as afraid of looking old anymore.

如果你持续自我成长，不断深化对世界的认知，就会发现这些根本不会像以前那样困扰你，甚至完全不会在意。因为那些肤浅的感受是可以摆脱的——虽然不是每个人都能做到，但确实是可能的。今天就说到这里啦，爱你们。

Because if you continue to work on yourself and continue to deepen your sense of the world around you, you'll find that this stuff just doesn't concern you in the same way, or it just doesn't concern you at all because the surface level feelings, I think you can grow out of. Not everyone grows out of them, but I think is something that's possible to grow out of as well. And that's it. That's all I got for today. I love you all.

感谢大家的支持。一如既往，能为大家提供专业建议是我的荣幸。如果你喜欢这个建议环节，新节目每隔周日晚更新，而常规节目每周四和周日都有新内容。每周我都会在这里陪伴大家数小时。

I appreciate you all. As always, it is such a pleasure to give you my own professional advice. If you enjoyed this advice session, new episodes of advice session every other Sunday, but new episodes of anything goes in general every Thursday and Sunday. So tune in and hang out. I'm here twice a week, and I talk for hours and hours and hours.

快来加入吧！在社交媒体上搜索'Anything Goes'，网络平台搜索Emma Chamberlain。我的咖啡品牌Chamberlain Coffee线上线下都有售。希望我的感冒快点好，现在声音难听死了，你们都能听到我喉咙里的痰音。

So come hang out. Anything goes on social media at anything goes. On the Internet at Emma Chamberlain, and my coffee company is in the world and on the Internet at Chamberlain Coffee. Hopefully, my cold goes away soon. I've just had the most disgusting sounding voice, and you can, like, hear the phlegm in my throat.

这简直太恶心了。希望这种情况能尽快过去，感谢你们在过去几集中对我那最可怕的鼻音嗓音的耐心包容。我真的很感激你们的理解。好了，我爱你们大家。

It's just disgusting. So hopefully that goes away soon, and I appreciate your patience over the last few episodes of just the most horrendous nasally sounding voice possible. So I'm I'm grateful for your patience. Okay. I love you all.

我感谢你们所有人，过几天再聊。你们很美，你们很棒，你们不可思议。别让互联网上那些该死的审美标准告诉你相反的东西。

I appreciate you all, and I'll talk to in a few days. You're beautiful. You're amazing. You're incredible. Don't let the fucking beauty standard in the Internet tell you otherwise.

听着，说起来容易做起来难。说起来容易做起来难。但要知道，我认为无论你是谁，无论什么鬼样，我都不在乎。对我来说，甚至不需要见到你，我就知道你是一个拥有美丽灵魂的美丽人类。

And listen. It's easier said than done. It's easier said than done. But just know that I think that no matter who you are, no matter what the fuck, I don't care. To me, I don't even need to see you to know that you are a beautiful human being in a beautiful soul.

这就是我的想法...我就用这句话来结束吧。好了，我爱你们大家，很快再聊。再见。

And that's just that's what I'm and and I'll end with that. Okay. I love you all, and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.