我如何应对不适情境

作为人类有时难免尴尬。可能会局促不安，可能会感到不适。和大多数人一样，我不喜欢这些感受。我更喜欢酷炫、风趣又松弛的状态。

Being a human being can be embarrassing. It can be awkward. It can be uncomfortable. And like most people, I don't like these feelings. I like feeling cool and funny and chill.

我喜欢欢笑嬉闹的轻松时光。不愿体会窘迫感，不愿陷入尴尬境——我想没人会喜欢。我几乎用尽毕生精力研究如何转化那些引发负面情绪的场景，通过技巧让它们变得愉悦。

I like laughing and having fun and hanging out. I don't like feeling embarrassed. I don't like feeling awkward. I don't think anybody does. I've spent, like, my entire life trying to figure out how to take those types of situations that evoke those unfavorable emotions and hack them to make them more pleasant.

明白吗？我说的就是把社死现场变成搞笑名场面，把尬聊转化成暖心交流，将不适情境转变为增进感情的契机——可不是指用性爱和绳索的那种捆绑游戏。

Okay? I'm talking about taking an embarrassing situation and turning it into a funny situation. I'm talking about taking an awkward situation and turning it into a wholesome experience. Taking an uncomfortable situation and turning it into a bonding experience. Not a bondage experience with sex and ropes.

真正的共情联结是当两个人都陷入困境，却能携手突破难关。经历过后，彼此的情谊就会加深。这就是我的理念。虽然自认做得不错，但总有提升空间。所以今天，我们专门来剖析那些人人都会遭遇的典型尴尬场景。

A bonding experience where something's uncomfortable for for two people, and then and then the two people get through it together. And at the other end of that, they've bonded. That's what I'm talking about. And I think I'm pretty good at it, but there's always room for improvement. And so today, thought we'd sit down and go through some common, uncomfortable, awkward, embarrassing situations that we all face.

若你尚未经历过，迟早会碰到。我们将探讨最佳应对方案，争取最积极的结果。节目插播一条信息：本集由The Ordinary赞助。自我护理很重要，但成本可能很高对吧？

And if you haven't faced them yet, you will eventually. And try to figure out the best way to handle them for the best, most positive result possible. I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is presented by the ordinary. Self care is important, but it can be super expensive. Right?

尤其是护肤品领域。值得庆幸的是，The Ordinary致力于提供质优价实的护肤方案，让每个人都能用上真正有效的产品。其实验室研发的配方能精准满足肌肤需求。若不知从何入手，官网还提供免费的护肤方案定制服务。使用优惠码msc10可在theordinary.com享受九折优惠。

Especially when you're talking skincare products. Thankfully, The Ordinary is focused on quality skincare that's priced to make great skincare accessible to everyone and that genuinely works. Formulations created in their lab designed to give your skin precisely what it needs. They've even made a free regimen builder on their website if you don't know where to start. Use code m s c 10 for 10% off at theordinary.com.

现在回归正题。第一个尴尬场景：社交活动中如何结束对话。假设情境：你正在参加公司酒会。

Now back to the episode. Uncomfortable situation number one. Ending a conversation with someone at a social event. Let me set the scene. You're at a work event.

懂了吗？有些人你非常熟悉，可能是你每天见面的亲密同事，也许你们还一起吃午餐。你在社交场合和他们相处很自在。但也有些人你并不那么亲近。和他们交谈虽然愉快，但你不太知道如何应对，因为你并不真正了解这个人。

K? There's some people you know really well, perhaps your close work friends that you see every day, maybe you eat lunch with them. You're very comfortable with them socially. But there's also some people there that you're not as close to. And having a conversation with them is nice, but you don't really know how to handle it because you don't really know this person.

这样的对话自然没那么愉快，会有点紧张，因为你还在试图了解对方。我属于在社交活动中比较外向的类型，愿意和任何人交谈。但如果对方是不太熟悉的人，到了一定程度我就会达到极限——既要费力解读对方，又要努力和陌生人创造话题，这让我精疲力尽。

The conversation is naturally a little bit less enjoyable, a little bit more tense because you're still kinda figuring this person out. Now I'm the type of person who, at a social event, is pretty outgoing. I'm down to talk to whoever. However, if I'm talking to somebody that I'm not super familiar with, I might at a certain point reach my limit. I'm exhausted from trying to read the other person, and I'm exhausted from, you know, trying to create conversation with somebody that I don't really know.

就像在黑暗中盲目射击。我甚至不确定自己说的话是否合适，这场对话是否符合对方的个性？我提起的话题他们感兴趣吗？可能对方本就不善言辞，所以基本上是我在单方面维持对话。到某个时刻我就会耗尽精力，心想：我撑不下去了。

So I'm, like, kinda shooting into the dark. Like, I don't even really know what I'm saying to this like, does this even is this conversation even relevant to this person and their personality? Are the things that I'm bringing up interesting to them? Perhaps they're not really conversationalist, so I'm, like, kinda carrying I'm bearing the weight of it. At a certain point, I get exhausted, and I'm like, I can't do this anymore.

我必须逃离。这种情况一点都不有趣。我想我们都经历过这种感受——当你觉得「够了，这场对话我进行不下去了，实在没力气继续了」。

I need to get out. This is not a fun situation. I think we all know this feeling. When you're like, I just I'm done with this conversation. I I don't have the energy for it anymore.

对方可能很棒，但我的社交能量已经在这个人身上耗尽了。我必须离开。但在封闭的社交场合，要找个脱身理由非常困难。难道直接说「好吧，我得走了」？

This person might be wonderful, but, like, I've expended my energy with this particular person. I have to I have to go away. Now at a social event where you're in a confined area, it's very challenging to find an out. Am I gonna just, like, say, alright. I gotta go.

说「和你聊天很愉快」或许可行。但接下来你能去哪？毕竟是在封闭空间里，又没有明确的任务分配。

It was nice to talk to you. That could work. But then where are you gonna go? You know? Like, you're in a confined space, and there's no assignment of what you're supposed to be doing.

在封闭空间里，对方会看到你的动向。如果你说「哦，我得走了」，结果只是走到房间另一个角落，那场面就有点尴尬了。

You're in a confined space. They can see where you walk to. So if you're like, oh, I gotta go. And then you, like, go and walk to, like, a different corner of the room. That's that's kinda awkward.

你可以说你要去拿杯饮料，但第一，你现在得真的去吧台排队等候。第二，大家都知道那就像是结束对话的惯用借口。比如，当我在某种社交场合和人交谈时，他们会说，哦，我得走了，去拿杯喝的。我知道那是因为他们不想再和我聊了。还有什么其他选择吗？

You could say that you're going to get a drink, but number one, you have to actually go up to the bar and wait in that line now. Number two, everyone knows that that's, like, the go to out for a conversation. Like, when when I'm talking to somebody at a social event of sorts, they're like, oh, I'll be back. I have to go get a I know it's because they don't wanna talk to me anymore. What what's the other option?

我甚至不知道。还有其他选择吗？其实没有。你可以诚实地说，我要去和别人聊聊。我不喜欢，但你怎么能这么说呢？

I don't even know. Is there any other option? Not really. You can be honest and say, I'm gonna go chat with somebody else. I don't like, how do you even say that?

你怎么能这么说？你怎么能说，哦，和你聊天真的很愉快，但我得在谈话中途离开。这真的很难做到，几乎行不通。借口法，比如我要去拿杯饮料之类的，可能是最好的选择，但即便如此也有点尴尬。我们还有什么尚未发现的方法吗？

How do you even say that? How do you even say, oh, you know, was really nice to talk to you, but I gotta go in the middle of a converse like, that's really hard to pull off. That almost never works. The excuse method being like, I'm gonna go get a drink or whatever, that's probably the best option, but even that's a little bit uncomfortable. Is there something that we've yet to discover?

我首先想到的是，用诚实来应对。如果谈话有点冷场，可以说，你知道吗？我的社交电量不足了。我要去角落里安静地待一会儿，待会儿见。这有点搞笑。

The the first thing that comes to mind for me is, like, attacking it with honesty. If there's a little lull in the conversation being like, you know what? My social battery is low. I'm gonna go sit in a corner for a little bit and be as quiet as possible, and I'll see you around. It's kind of a funny option.

我其实有点喜欢这个说法。我喜欢它是因为它比说我要去拿杯饮料更诚实，而实际上你只是借拿饮料离开对话。但它也有点像是在说，也许有点冒犯对方，比如我的社交电量耗尽了，我不能再和你聊了，因为你让我精疲力尽。这可能有点粗鲁，但我喜欢它的诚实。

I actually kinda like that one. I like that one because it's more honest than being like, I'm gonna go get a drink, when really you're just going to get a drink to get out of the conversation. But it also is a little bit like, maybe a little insulting to the person being like, my social battery's drained. I can't talk to you anymore because you're draining me. Like, that might be kinda rude, but I do like the honesty of it.

你不能撒谎。有些情况下我想撒谎，比如，哦，我现在真的要走了，再见。但不能这么做，因为人们能看出你是否真的离开。我认为我们刚才头脑风暴中最好的选择要么是第一种，用经典的借口说我要去拿杯饮料。

You can't lie. There have been situations where I've wanted to lie and be like, oh, I'm actually leaving right now. Bye. Can't do that because people can see if you're leaving or not. I think the best option out of what we've brainstormed just now is either number one, just go with the classic and say, I'm going and getting a drink.

而且我觉得如果你真的去拿饮料，那还挺靠谱的。除非对方说，我能一起去吗？你不能拒绝。这样一来，问题又延长了一点，你知道吗？

And I think if you follow through with it and actually go get a drink, that's pretty solid. Unless the person's like, well, can I come with? You can't say no to that. So now you've just extended this issue a little bit longer. You know?

现在他们和你一起在酒吧。但至少你们有共同的活动在做，而不只是站在那里绞尽脑汁找话题。结束后，你还得再编个借口。然后呢？这时我认为你得选择另一个方案，那就是——你猜怎么着？

Now they're at the bar with you. But at least you have an activity that you're doing together, and it's not just like you're standing there grasping at straws trying to make conversation. And then at the end of that, then you have to come up with another excuse. Then what? Well, then I think you have to go to the other option, which is, you know what?

我的社交电量彻底耗尽了。我要去角落坐会儿，但见到你真的很开心。用开玩笑的方式说出来。砰。成功脱身。

My social battery is so drained. I'm gonna go sit in a corner, but it was so nice to see you. Make a joke out of it. Boom. You're out.

说真的，仔细想想，我觉得没人会因此感到被冒犯。毕竟我们都有过这种感受，这未必代表对方不善言辞或我们不喜欢对方，可能只是聊天气氛不对。不过我其实没用过'社交电量'这个借口，老实说，我通常会说去拿杯饮料。

I don't think anyone can be offended by that either, to be honest, as I think about it further because we've all felt that way, and it doesn't mean that the other person is a bad conversationalist necessarily or that we don't like the other person. It just might not be flowing. You know? Although I actually haven't used the social battery excuse. I usually say I'm gonna go get a drink, to be honest.

但我不太喜欢这种方式。虽然有效...确实有效。不过或许可以试试另一个借口，看看效果如何。说不定会得罪人。

But I don't really like it. It works. It works. But maybe I'll try the other one and see how it lands. And maybe I'll offend somebody.

说不定会挨一拳，到时候我再回来向大家汇报。第二件可能不算普遍尴尬，但让我极度不适的事：想象这是你的生日，朋友请你吃午餐。饭后朋友突然说，嘿——

Maybe I'll get punched in the jaw, and I'll report back and let you guys know. Number two, this might not be awkward for everybody, but this is so awkward for me. Imagine this. It's your birthday, and one of your friends decides to take you out for lunch. After lunch, your friend says, hey.

等等，来我车后备箱。我有东西给你。他们准备了礼物。多贴心啊。

Wait. Come to my come to my trunk of my car. I have something for you. They have a gift for you. How sweet.

在餐厅停车场，他们递来礼物说：虽然不好意思，但我想看你当场拆开。恐惧席卷全身，你开始微微冒汗，因为要确保自己的反应足够让送礼人感到欣慰。

In the parking lot of the restaurant, they hand you the gift, and they say, I hate to do this, but I wanna see you open it. Can you open it? Fear fills your body. You start sweating a little bit because you wanna make sure that your reaction is sufficient. Makes the person giving you the gift feel good.

但你也不想做得太过火。不过这也取决于你是谁，假装喜欢礼物是极具挑战性的。在送礼人面前拆礼物时会有很多心理压力，尤其是当你们关系并不特别亲近时。可能是你的老板。可能是你暗恋的人。

But you also don't wanna overdo it. But also depending on who you are, faking it is incredibly challenging. There's a lot of anticipation that goes into opening a gift in front of the person who gave it to you, especially if you're not super close with them. Maybe it's your boss. Maybe it's your crush.

我不知道。你会怎么做？无论你对礼物感觉如何，反应基本上都得保持一致。如果有人花时间精力为你准备礼物，不管你喜欢还是讨厌，你都必须表现出兴奋。这无关紧要。

I don't know. What do you do? Regardless of how you feel about the gift, the reaction kind of has to be the same. If somebody put the time and effort into getting you a gift, you need to be excited no matter what, no matter if you love it or if you hate it. It doesn't matter.

明白吗？一个选择是说，天啊，我实在没法在别人面前拆礼物。我会特别尴尬，脸红之类的。这是一种选择。

Okay? Now one option is to say, oh my god. I can't open gifts in front of people. I, like, get so awkward and I turn red and stuff. That's one option.

但这有点不尊重人，因为对方在送你礼物，所以如果他们希望当面拆开，礼貌上应该这么做。另一个选择就是直接拆开那玩意儿。但然后呢？你该兴奋尖叫吗？天啊——

But that's kinda disrespectful because this person's giving you a gift, and so, you know, it's it's polite to open in front of them if they want you to. The other option is to just open the damn thing. But then what? Are you supposed to scream in excitement? Oh my god.

简直不敢相信。这太棒了。呃，那就太夸张了。你也可以拆开后说，哇，这真的很棒。非常感谢。

I can't believe it. This is amazing. Well, that's too much. You could also open it and be like, well, this is super nice. Thank you so much.

但有时候这样可能显得不够热情。那么恰到好处的反应是什么？你能在当下瞬间找到平衡点吗？我认为最佳应对方式如下。我边说边得出了结论。

But that can sometimes not feel like enough. But what's the happy medium? And are you gonna be able to figure it out in the moment? I think the best way to handle this situation is as follows. As I as I'm talking through it, I've come to my conclusion.

如果你属于那种在别人面前拆礼物会紧张的人，我建议你在拆礼物前打个预防针：我先声明，我在人前拆礼物时会特别尴尬紧张。所以如果我的反应很奇怪，别担心，纯粹是因为我太别扭了。就是...我会手足无措、害羞又紧张。

If you're somebody who gets psyched out by opening a gift in front of somebody, I think what you do is preface before you open the gift and say, I'm warning you. I get so awkward and so nervous when I open gifts in front of people. So if you think my reaction is weird, have no fear. It's because I'm being weird. Like, I get awkward and and and bashful and and nervous when I open a gift.

所以别评判我的反应。听着，不管是什么礼物我都会喜欢，所以别对我评头论足。这样其实已经破冰了。现在大家能理解我为啥觉得打开GIF很尴尬——我真的很讨厌这个环节。

So just don't judge my reaction. Like, I'm gonna love it no matter what it is, so just, like, don't judge me. That already, like, breaks the ice. Now it's like there's an understanding of I feel weird opening GIFs. I hate it.

这让我浑身不自在。这种坦白反而能缓解在场所有人的压力。然后你打开礼物，突然惊呼：天啊！我太爱了！简直完美！

It makes me uncomfortable. That relieves the pressure for everybody involved. Then you open it, and you're like, oh my god. I love it. It's amazing.

接着你可以俏皮地问：我表现得怎么样？再拿这事开个玩笑：快给我打分！我的反应能得几分？从1到10分打个分呗。

And then you can be like, how did I do? You can make another joke about it. How did I do? Was I, like did how was my reaction? Rate my reaction out of 10.

可能有人会觉得这种操作有点自恋。说实话我边讲边觉得确实像在说：等等，先给我的收礼反应打个分——这会把焦点从礼物转移到你身上。但我觉得这种厚脸皮的幽默感，或许反而是化解尴尬的最佳方式。

Now to some people, this might sound a bit narcissistic. As I'm explaining it, like, as I'm saying it, it does sound kind of narcissistic to be like, wait. Rate my reaction to your gift out of 10. Like, it then it then deflects the attention from the gift to you being like, wait, how's my reaction? But I do think it's kind of funny and cheeky, so perhaps that's the best way to handle it.

算了不管了。下个话题——天啊！这个绝对是最尴尬的：当众打翻食物。

I don't know. Next. Oh god. This is just the worst. When you spill or drop food in front of people.

我上次出这种糗是在高温瑜伽室。捧着咖啡穿过大堂时手滑——你们懂的——咖啡直接泼地上了。平时我去瑜伽都带斯坦利杯装电解质水，但那天特殊，因为刚看完牙医。（现在想想这背景故事讲得太详细了）

The last time this happened to me, I was at my hot yoga studio, and I was walking through the lobby, and I had butter fingers, if you will, and I dropped my coffee on the floor. Now I usually don't bring a coffee to yoga. I usually just bring, like, my Stanley Cup with my electrolytes. On this particular occasion, I had gone to the dentist. I'm giving you way too much of a backstory.

那天看完牙医去瑜伽的路上，我想着反正有时间，就买了杯塑料杯装的廉价咖啡。结果捧着穿过大堂时，啪嗒——全洒地上了。

I went to the dentist before yoga, and on the way to yoga from the dentist, I was like, fuck it. I have some time to kill. I'm gonna get a little coffee. So I got a little coffee in a plastic cup, flimsy, whatever. And I was walking through the lobby, and I dropped my coffee on the floor.

洒得到处都是。最好的处理方式是什么？嗯，我会详细解释我所做的，我们可以分析并决定是否可以改进。如果我没记错的话，我做的第一件事是看向瑜伽工作室的员工，因为他们目睹了整个过程。我当时心想，天哪。

Spilled everywhere. What's the best way to handle it? Well, I I will explain in in detail what I did, and we can analyze it and decide if it can be improved upon. The first thing I did, if I remember correctly, was I looked at the staff of the yoga studio because they watched it happen. And I was like, oh my god.

我真的把这里搞得一团糟，对吧？我非常抱歉。我能做些什么？因为他们有拖把，我就问，我能帮忙吗？他们说，不用了，艾玛。

I have really made a mess here, haven't I? And I'm so sorry. What can I do? I was like, because I they had a mop, and I was like, can I please help? And they were like, no, Emma.

没关系，走开吧。我们能搞定。但我坚持说，不，让我帮忙。

It's fine. Like, walk away. We got this handled. And I was like, no. Let me help.

他们又说，不用。我们能清理干净，很快就好。我表示非常抱歉，保证不会再发生。

And they were like, no. We can clean it up. It'll take three seconds. I was like, I am so sorry. It won't happen again.

我尽量轻松对待这事。之后的日子里，我反复感谢了他们大约二十分钟。实际上，上课前我就已经再三道谢，课后我又提起并再次感谢。说实话，我并没有感到特别尴尬。

And I'd kind of made light of it. I thanked them profusely for, like, twenty minutes for the rest of the day. Actually, for that matter, I I I thanked them profusely before the class started. And then after the class started, I brought it up again and thanked them again. And to be honest, I actually didn't feel that uncomfortable.

我认为最糟糕的处理方式——我以前也见过——就是表现得非常沮丧。常见的情况是，人们打翻食物或饮料后立刻反应激烈，比如咒骂。这种情绪化的极端反应反而更令人难堪。

I think the worst way to handle it, and I've seen this happen before, is, like, getting upset. I've seen that happen a lot. Like, people drop their food. They drop their drink or whatever, and they're like, fuck. That's more embarrassing because it's more of, like, an emotionally extreme reaction to immediately react with some sort of, like, oh, no.

我觉得更好的方式是轻松地说声‘哎呀’。周围的人会根据你的反应来回应，你是在定调子。

What? I think it's better to be like, whoops. Like, just make light of it. Everybody around you is going to react to your reaction. You're setting the tone.

所以如果你定下轻松的基调，整个氛围就会很放松。但如果你反应激烈、情绪激动，整个局面就会变得紧张起来，变得严肃。你明白我的意思吗？不过我得说，如果你弄丢了自己真心期待的东西，比如刚拿到一个冰淇淋甜筒，舔了第一口就不小心把它打翻在地，为此感到难过是很正常的。

And so if you set the tone and it's chill, then the whole thing's chill. But if you react upset and intense, then the whole situation becomes intense. It becomes serious. Do you know what I mean? I will say though, if you drop something that you really were excited about, like, if you just got an ice cream cone and you take your first lick out of it and it you push the ice cream cone over onto the ground, to be sad about that is, like, valid.

这种事真的会让我特别沮丧。但我觉得即便如此，也可以表现得像是'天啊，我心都碎了'，然后把它变成个有趣的玩笑。你可以和掉在地上的冰淇淋甜筒合个影之类的。

Like, I that type of shit makes me so upset. But I think even then, it can be like, oh my god. I'm heartbroken. And then you can make a funny joke out of it. You could take a selfie with your ice cream cone that fell over or whatever.

轻松化解尴尬就好。好了，下一个场景：误以为别人在向你挥手。让我来描述一下这个画面：你正穿过机场。

Make light of it. Okay. Next, waving at somebody who wasn't waving at you. Let me set the scene. You're walking through the airport.

那是个繁忙的下午。你在人群中张望，远远看见有只手在向你挥动。也许你正期待有人在登机口接你，也许距离太远看不清对方是谁。于是你也挥手回应。

It's a busy afternoon. And you're looking through the sea of people, and you notice in the distance a hand waving at you. Perhaps you're expecting to meet somebody at your gate. Perhaps they're so far away that you can't really tell who it is or whatever. So you wave back.

等走近一看才发现，你根本不认识那个人。这时你一转身，发现后面有个人正在回应那个你根本不认识的挥手者。非常尴尬。如果你环顾四周发现对方没注意到这个误会，我觉得最好的处理方式是放下手臂，心想'这种事谁都会遇到'，然后尽快忘记它。

And then upon closer inspection, you realize, I don't know that person. And then you turn around and lo and behold, there is a person behind you waving back at the person that now you realize you don't recognize. Very awkward. Now, if you look around and realize, wait a minute, they didn't notice. What I think the best thing to do is put that arm down and say, you know what?

但如果对方注意到了，我认为最佳方案是试着和他们开个玩笑。你可以看着那个真正被挥手的人，指着自己摇头说'哦，不是找我的'，反复比划这个动作，然后说'哎呀搞错了'。

It happens to the best of us, and just move on and forget about it as quickly as possible. However, if they did notice, I think the best option is to be like is to try to make a joke with them about it. You look at the person who is waving at the person behind you, and you're like, oh, not for me. Like, you point at yourself and you're like, oh, point at you point at yourself and you're like, shaking your head, you're like, not for me. And then you're shaking your head, you're like, oh, not for me.

接着你可以说声'抱歉'，举起双手，甚至搞笑地捂着脸走开。特别有趣，真的特别有趣。

Oh, whoops. And then you're like, sorry. And then you can put your hands up, and then you're like and then you can maybe even, like, block your face as a joke and, like, walk away. Super funny. Super funny.

如果你身后的人发现你在向他们挥手致意的人挥手，你可以说，哇，那一刻我真的觉得自己很特别。但你赢了，走开吧。开个小玩笑。

If the person behind you caught you waving at the person that they're waving at, you could be like, wow. I really felt special for that little moment. But you win. Walk away. A little joke.

开个小玩笑。如果你能成功开个玩笑的话，但这就是我会做的。而且我真的想不出其他处理方式了，只能把它变成玩笑。那种情况下你几乎总能说，哦，不是给我的。

A little joke. If you can even swing making a joke, but that's what I would do. And I actually don't think there's any other way to handle it. You gotta just make a joke out of that. You could in that situation almost always just be like, oh, not for me.

放下手臂，走开。然后想，谁在乎呢？反正你再也见不到那些人了。但如果你觉得需要化解尴尬——

Put your arm down, walk away. And like, be like, who cares? You're You're never gonna see those people again. Who cares? But if you're like, I need to diffuse this.

比如他们真的发现我在挥手，这太尴尬了——那正是讲个傻笑话的机会。接下来，当你和一群朋友共进晚餐时，可能不是最亲密的朋友，但算是朋友，而盘子里只剩一口你特别想吃的食物——

Like, they really caught me. They caught me waving. This is I'm really I'm really awkward. That's an opportunity and an invitation for a silly joke. Next, when you're at dinner with a bunch of friends, perhaps people you're not, like, best friends with, but friends, and there's one bite of food left on a dish that you really want.

可能是家庭式聚餐（这很常见）。餐桌上的美食家点了一堆菜，大家各自取用。到最后，某道菜只剩一小块。不是所有人都在意最后一口，但很多人确实想要。

Perhaps this dinner is family style, which is very common. You know? Somebody, the foodie of the table, orders a bunch of food for everybody, and everybody's, you know, filling their plates, picking what they want, whatever. Towards the end of it, there's a dish with one little morsel of something left. And, you know, not everybody cares about getting that last morsel, but a lot of us do.

那块最后的食物看起来比当天吃过的任何东西都美味。最糟糕的莫过于服务员收走盘子，让那块美味直接进垃圾桶。所以你想要它——但怎么确定是否可以拿走？最直接的做法是问：谁要这最后一块？（不知道为什么用'块'这个词，但确实合适）

There's something about that last little morsel that looks like it's gonna taste better than every other morsel that you ate that day. And nothing sounds worse than the waiter coming by and taking the plate with that last beautiful morsel on it back to the kitchen to go straight into the garbage, so you want that morsel. But how do you figure out if it's okay to take it? Now the obvious option is to be like, who's taken this last morsel? I don't know why I'm calling it a morsel, but that is kinda what it is.

仔细想想确实算'一块'。通常做法是问：谁要最后这点？听着，如果没人要我就拿了。总得有人诚实地说要，因为我不能当最后拿走的人。

It is a morsel if you think about it. You know, the obvious thing to do is be like, who wants this last bit? Like, listen, I'll take it. I'll take it if no one else if no one else wants it. But like, somebody needs to honestly take it because I I can't be the last one to have it.

比如，谁来把它吃掉吧。然后当没人动它时，你自己吃了并且享受每一秒。你是不是也干脆不碰它？就放着不管忘了它？那也是种选择。

Like, somebody please take it. And then when no one takes it, you eat it and you love every second. Do you also just not touch it? Just leave it alone and forget about it? That's another option.

这很可悲，因为你知道，如果你看到那块食物被端回厨房倒掉，那真让人沮丧。那是浪费。太遗憾了。我觉得最好的方式是，好吧，我们能直面这个尴尬问题吗？这块被所有人留下却避而不谈的食物残渣？

It's sad because, like, you know, if you see that morsel get taken back to the kitchen to be thrown away, you know, that's a bummer. That's a waste. That's sad. I mean, I think the best option is to be like, okay, can we address the elephant in the room? This morsel that's been left by all of us that we all refuse to talk about?

就在这儿。谁能有点骨气把它吃了？不然我就...不然我就想吃了它。懂吗？最后机会了。

Here it is. Can somebody have a fucking spine and eat it? Or else I or else I wanna eat it. You know? Last call.

这块食物的最后召唤。说实话我认为沟通是关键。因为让它浪费太可惜了，没人吃也很可惜。我真的认为我们应该消除关于最后一口的羞耻感。好吗？

Last call for this morsel. I think communication is key, to be honest. Because it's just a shame for it to go to waste, and it's a shame for no one to eat it. And I really do think that we should, like, end the stigma around the last morsel. Okay?

这事需要公开讨论。懂吗？我受够了大家对最后一口食物都藏着掖着。但尴尬的是，如果你主动提议吃这块食物，结果有人说好吧。

It needs to be talked about in the open. You know? I'm sick of everybody feeling a certain type of way about the last morsel. But then here's what's awkward. What if you offer up the morsel and somebody's like, alright.

行吧，我来吃。然后你就没得吃了。这确实糟心，但这是你必须承担的风险。因为另一种选择是...看，另一种方案是这样的。

Fine. I'll take it. Then you didn't get to eat it. That does suck, but that's the risk you have to take. Because the other option is well, see, here's the other option.

你可以——如果看到盘子里最后那块食物——直接自己拿走。连提都别提。这是家庭式聚餐。谁都能拿。没人能因此责怪你，但他们可能会在背后议论你。

You could, if you see that last morsel there on the on the plate, take it for yourself. Don't even say a word about it. It's family style dinner. It's up for grabs. Nobody can get mad at you for taking it, but they might talk about you behind your back.

看吧，我觉得有些人可能会说，是啊。我和她出去吃饭，然后她，就像，吃了最后一口。感觉就是，好吧。难道不是每个人都知道不该那样做吗？这是有风险的。

See, that is something that I feel like certain people would be like, yeah. I went out to dinner with her, and, like, she, like, took the last bite. It was like, okay. Doesn't everybody know that you're not supposed to take that? There is a risk of that.

我认为沟通是关键。虽然我确实讨厌那种关于想吃最后一口的污名。如果东西还在那儿没人动过，总得有人吃掉它。先到先得嘛。所以，我是说，听着。

I think communication is key. Although I do hate the stigma around, like, somebody wanting to take the last bite. If it's there and nobody's touched it yet, like, somebody's gotta take it. First come, first serve. So, I mean, listen.

如果你不在乎别人怎么想，就直接吃呗，谁在乎呢？如果你提出来，可能会失去你一直期待吃的那一口，但至少问题解决了。继续下一个话题。在Instagram上偷偷关注某人然后不小心点赞了旧照片。你该怎么办？

If you don't care what other people think about, you just take Who cares? If you do bring it up, you might lose the morsel that you've been that you were so excited about eating, but at least it's been resolved. Moving on. Stalking somebody on Instagram and then accidentally liking an old picture. What do you do?

很可能他们已经看到通知了，看到你点赞了。说实话，我会这么做：我会把那个人拉黑24小时。我甚至不确定这招管不管用。

Chances are they saw the notification. They saw that you liked. Here's what I I would do, to be honest. I would block the person for twenty four hours. I I don't even know if that would work.

等等，但你不能这么做。因为如果他们关注了你或者...有各种处理方式。假设你在偷偷关注你伴侣的前任，你们互不关注，然后你不小心点了赞，立刻拉黑他们。就是拉黑24小时。

Wait. But you can't do that. Because then if they follow you or like there's different ways to handle it. Let's say you're stalking your significant other's ex, and you don't follow the ex, and they don't follow you, and you accidentally like something, block them immediately. That's what block them for twenty four hours.

我没开玩笑，我真会这么做。我真的会直接拉黑。他们会点开账号...

I'm not even kidding. That's what I would do. I I would literally just block. I would block. They click on the account.

哎呀，显示不存在。24小时后再解除拉黑。这算疯癫吗？我的脑子就是这么想的。

Oops. Doesn't show up. And then twenty four hours later, unblock. Is that unhinged? That's where my head goes.

我没开玩笑。这确实是我可能会做的事，因为这样或许能让通知消失。虽然不确定是否有效，但你可以试试。当然，你马上会取消点赞，不过你还可以选择开启新友谊——私信对方说‘我刚才在视奸’

I'm not kidding. That's, like, actually what I think I would do because maybe that would make the notification go away. I don't know that that's true, but you could do that. Obviously, you're gonna unlike it immediately, but, like, another thing you could do is you could start a new friendship. You could DM them and say, I was stalking.

不，不能这样。万一对方没看到通知，你突然出现在私信里会很奇怪。拉黑又太极端了。说实话，我觉得最佳方案是坦然承认

No. You can't do that. You can't do that because there's actually a chance that they didn't see the notification, and then it seems weird that you're, like, in their DM. And the block method does seem extra. I mean, to be honest, I think the best method is to just own it.

我们都在互相视奸。要是有人质问‘我发现你视奸伴侣的前任，因为他们说看到你点赞了’，你就大方承认‘对啊’。反正对方肯定也干过同样的事，我打赌那个前任也在视奸我，社交潜规则不都这样

We all stalk each other. Like, if it ever comes up, if anyone ever is like, I found out you were stalking, like, your significant other's ex because they said so, and they said that they saw you like be like, yeah. And you've done the exact same thing. And I bet the ex is stalking me. Like, this is how this works.

没错，我是在视奸。这不是很正常吗？你也一样。这种坦白反而有点爽

Yes. I was stalking. Like, of course I was. You're doing the same thing. That's kinda delish.

因为大概率没人会追究这事。但万一被问起，你可以理直气壮地说‘大家都这样，何必装蒜？’ 直接承认并反问‘这有什么好大惊小怪的？’

Because the chances are you're not gonna get confronted on it, but if for some reason you ever did, you could be like, yeah. Everyone does that. Why are we still pretending like we're not? Like, owning it and being like, why are we making a thing out of this? It's like not a big deal.

我视奸是因为这很正常也很有趣。我想看看前任过得怎样，想知道他们是不是比我开心——结果发现确实如此，这很扎心。可能我潜意识点赞是在想‘替你高兴’

I was stalking because that's like normal, and it's fun. And I wanna see what the ex is doing. And I wanna see if it seems like the ex is having more fun than me. And it seems like they are, and it hurts. But maybe that's why I subconsciously liked because I was like, good for you.

某某某，你玩得开心吧？...开玩笑的。但你应该懂我意思。我觉得最酷的处理方式就是随它去

X, you're having fun. You know? No. But you get what I'm saying. I actually think that's like the power move is to just let it go.

比如，取消点赞，显然，你不必保留那个赞，天啊。那会很有趣。等等。如果这变成一种现象会多有趣，比如你不小心给你不该点赞的帖子点了赞。对吧？

Like, unlike it, obviously, you don't have to keep the like, oh my god. It'd be so fun. Wait. How fun would it be if, like, it became a thing to, like if you accidentally like somebody's post that you shouldn't be liking. Right?

而不是立刻取消点赞然后逃跑，你评论说，老实讲，我是在偷偷关注哈哈。这太经典了。如果有人对我这么做，我肯定会着迷的。

Instead of unliking it immediately and running away, you commented and said, I'm gonna be honest. I was stalking LOL. That's iconic. That's iconic. If somebody did that to me, I mean, I would be obsessed.

不过我得说，这种情况很少发生在我身上，因为我有一个没有任何帖子的Instagram页面。懂吗？那完全是个空白页面，我专门用来偷偷关注别人，因为我不想意外点赞。这有点过头了，但它甚至不是个小号。就是个彻底清空的账号。

I will say though, this type of situation doesn't really happen to me because I have an Instagram page that has no posts on it. Okay? It's literally empty blank page that I use just to stalk people because I don't wanna, like, on accident. That's extra, but it's like it's not even like a Finsta. It's literally just an account that has nothing wiped blank.

比如，我只是用它来...其实我现在不怎么刷Instagram了，所以也不怎么用了。以前爱刷的时候会用，因为我从不想意外点赞。我们都知道，像所有人一样，我有时会偷偷关注每个前任。有时也会偷偷关注老朋友。我们总会偷偷关注那些不想让对方知道我们在关注的人。

Like, I I just use it to well, the thing is I don't really scroll on Instagram anymore, so I don't really use it anymore. I used to use it when I, like, loved scrolling on Instagram because I never wanted to like something on accident. And we know I like, as we all do, I stalk every ex I've ever had sometimes. I stalk every old friend I've ever had sometimes. Like, we stalk people that we don't wanna know that we're stalk that we don't want them to know that we're stalking sometimes.

对，我就这样。为了避免被发现，我专门弄了个小号来干这事。这样就能安心偷看了，懂吧？不过我从来没点赞过照片...好吧，其实我在那个账号上给自己的照片点过赞。提升互动嘛。

Like, I do that. So to avoid anyone finding out, I fully had a finsta to get out of that. So that I could just stalk in peace, you know? But I've never liked a photo well, actually, I like my own photos on that account. Boosting engagement.

能怪我吗？我从来没留过评论。从来没有。那就是个纯粹的空白页面，让我能偷看而不担心发生这种尴尬事。所以这也是你可以采用的另一种方法。

Can you blame me? I've never left a comment. Never. It's literally a blank page just so that I can stalk and not worry about this exact thing happening. So that's also another method you could use.

弄个假账号专门偷看。但这真的太夸张了。我当初都不该这么做的。很久以前干的，辩护一下，是多年前我沉迷刷帖的时候。现在可能不会这么做了。

Make a fake account for stalking. But that is so extra. Like, I I shouldn't have even done that. I did that a long time ago, in my defense, you know, like years ago when I used to be an avid scroller. Probably wouldn't do that now.

但是，是的，我是说，你可以创建一个假账号来永远避免这种情况。这甚至不算假账号。但你看，我确实认为，那种名字或脸不关联的假账号概念，对我来说，确实带有一种狡猾的潜台词。对我而言不是这样，因为我不使用它。比如，我不评论。

But, yeah, I mean, you could make a fake account to avoid that forever. It's not even a fake account. But see, I do think that, like, the concept of having a fake account where your name or face is not attached, To me, it does have, like, a devious undertone. For me, it doesn't because I don't use it. Like, I don't comment.

我什么都不做。但，你能这样做的事实，对我来说感觉既狡猾又怪异。我不知道。拥有这种账号的氛围...我想说的是，我不喜欢自己拥有那个账号。它让我感觉恶心。

I don't do anything. But, like, the fact that you could, to me, feels devious and, like, weird. I don't know. The vibe of having, like like, I don't like that I have that account is what I'm trying to say. Like, it feels gross to me.

因为尽管我没有用它做坏事，但我可以。我不喜欢那种感觉。我不喜欢感觉自己有个账号，可以在自己的照片下评论说'你是世界上最性感的女人'，或者在别人照片下说'我不喜欢那套衣服'。我永远不会那么做。

Because even though I don't use it for wrong, I could. And I don't like that feeling. I don't like feeling like I have this account where, like, I could comment on my own photo and be like, you are the sexiest woman alive. Or I could comment on somebody else's photo and be like, I don't like that outfit. Like, I would never do that.

但事实是我...这样说有道理吗？我就是不喜欢这样。而且我知道有人确实这么做。我收到的一半恶意评论，点开账号都是某人的小号(Finsta)。懂吗？

But the fact that I like, does that make sense? And I just don't like that. And I know people do do that. Half the time when I get a hate comment, I click the account, and it's like somebody's Finsta. You know?

或者是那种用户名是一串数字字母组合，只有五个粉丝的账号。我发誓，大多数恶意评论都来自这类账号。有人会说它们是机器人账号，我也不确定。

Or it's somebody or it's like the username is a bunch of numbers and letters, and there's and they have, like, five followers. You know? That's I I swear, that's majority of the hate comments are from those types of accounts. And, you know, some would argue that they're bots. I don't really know.

它们可能也像我这样的小号。我刚才说到哪了？对了，这能防止不小心点赞被发现的恐惧。所以，你知道，这是个选择。

I they're they could also just be Finstas like mine. But What was I saying? Yeah. Well, that prevents the fear of of stalking and liking on accident. So, I mean, you know, it's it's an option.

但我其实很喜欢这种评论方式：'哎呀，在偷看时不小心点赞了。就留着吧。嗨。'这很有趣。

But I actually really love the idea of, like, commenting and being like, oops, was stalking. Accidentally liked. Gonna leave it. Hi. That's funny.

有人应该开始这么做。也许并非所有场景都适用，但我觉得这很有趣。本节目由eBay赞助。我们都有那样一件标志性单品——你懂的。

Somebody should people should start doing that. Maybe it doesn't make sense in every scenario, but I think that's fun. This episode is brought to you by eBay. We all have that one piece. You know the one.

那件完全代表你的物品，你甚至因此被人记住。如果还没有这样的单品，eBay上就能找到。听好了各位，eBay能让你反复发现那些让人魂牵梦萦的孤品——比如你盯了很久的秀场款红色皮夹克、印着牛仔图案的潮流上衣，或是2017年配色系列的修身抓绒衣。

The thing that's so you, you've basically become known for it. And if you don't have yours yet, you'll find it on eBay. Let me put you on, people. EBay is where you'll find those one of a kind, can't stop researching, stay up dreaming about pieces again and again. I'm talking about that off the runway red leather bomber that you've had your eye on, the trendy top with the cowboy on it, or that sleek fleece from the 2017 colorway.

这些宝藏都能在eBay找到，平台还提供数百万件经过正品保障的主角级单品。eBay是二手和复古时尚的圣地——专售人们钟爱的物件。现在回到节目内容。

All of these finds are on eBay. They even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. EBay is the place for pre loved and vintage fashion. EBay, things people love. Now back to the episode.

好，下一个话题。当有人试图和你一起说你喜欢的人的坏话时——假设你们有个共同朋友，而你其实和这个共同朋友更亲近。

Okay. Next. When someone tries to talk shit with you about someone that you like. Perhaps you have a mutual friend with somebody, and you're actually closer with the mutual friend than you are with the other person. Right?

这时另一个人开始说你们共同朋友的坏话。可能你不同意他们的说法，或者单纯觉得参与这种谈话不妥，因为你知道这些话迟早会传到你朋友耳朵里。这种情况怎么处理？到底他妈该怎么处理？我是个讨好型人格。

The other person tries to start talking shit about your mutual friend. Perhaps you don't agree with what they're saying, or perhaps you just don't feel comfortable with participating because you know it's gonna get back to your friend. How do you handle that? How the fuck do you handle that? I'm a people pleaser.

过去我就有过这种情况——如果有人跑来跟我说'某某干了这事，你能信吗？太离谱了'，即便说的是我喜欢的人，我也曾因缺乏社交技巧而不知如何应对，只能附和说'天啊'。

So I have been known in the past for if, like, somebody were to come to me and say, like, this person did this. Can you believe that? Like, that is so rude. Even if it's about somebody I I am fond of, there have been times where I have not had the social skills to know how to handle that. And so I've just agreed and been like, oh my god.

'太疯狂了。等等，怎么会这样？太糟糕了。呕。'

That's crazy. Wait. Why would it that's so bad. Ew. Ew.

你知道吗？而我也刚刚陷入了这种状态。最近，我可以说我的默认做法就是只听不说。现在，有些人可能会说这样很无礼，因为如果我和某人是朋友什么的，我应该为共同的朋友站出来，说，嘿，你不应该那样谈论他们。然而，我也理解人类的运作方式，我明白，比如，如果有人来找我说，这个人让我很烦，我觉得他们最近的表现很糟糕，看起来很差，还很丑。

You know? And I've just fed into it. More recently, I'd say my default is to just listen and not say anything back. Now, some people would say that that's rude because if I'm friends with somebody or whatever, I should stand up for the mutual friend and be like, hey, you shouldn't be talking that way about them. However, I also understand how humans work, and I understand, like, if, let's say, somebody comes to me and is like, this person's pissing me off, and, like, I think their style has been shit recently, and, like, they look bad and they're ugly.

要说出‘那样很无礼’可能很难。这可能是正确的做法。但是，这可能会很困难。我认为我的默认反应往往是，嗯，也许你们不应该再做朋友了。这就是我倾向于采取的方式，就是，你们为什么还要做朋友呢？

It can be tough to be like, well, that's rude. It's probably the right thing to do. But, like, that can be hard. And I think my default tends to be like, well, you know, maybe you guys shouldn't be friends anymore. Like, that's the that's the approach I tend to take is like, why are you still friends?

就像，我不觉得你们之间还有好的氛围。或者有人在说我们共同的朋友的行为不好。我可能会说，好吧，那我得注意一下。我还没注意到，但我会留意的。你知道吗？

Like, I don't it doesn't seem like y'all got a good vibe anymore. Or somebody's like talking shit about, say, our mutual friends' behavior. I might be like, well, I guess I'll need to pay attention to that. Like, I haven't noticed that, but I'll pay attention. You know?

中立的说法。中立的说法。保持沉默。尽可能少说。这可能是最不让人尴尬的选择。

Neutral statements. Neutral statements. Staying quiet. Saying the least amount possible. That's probably the least uncomfortable option.

然而，这是正确的选择吗？我不知道。因为，再次，有些人会认为这是在别人说你的朋友坏话时袖手旁观，这在道德上是不对的。但是，如果有人在背后说我坏话，我会期望我亲近的人站出来说，嘿，这样不好吗？

However, is it the right option? I don't know. Because, again, some people would argue that's being like a bystander of of somebody saying something mean about your friend, and that's not morally right. However, if somebody was talking shit about me behind my back, like, would I expect someone I'm close to to, like, be like, hey. That's not nice.

不。不一定。只要他们不认同那个人说的话，我可以接受他们只是敷衍一下，说些无关紧要的话，也许告诉我他们说了什么。我可以接受我的朋友们做出中立的表态。因此，我也会觉得这样做没问题。

No. Not necessarily. Like, as long as they don't agree with what the person's saying, I'm okay with them just humoring them and being like, whatever, and maybe letting me know that they said that. I would be fine with my friends making neutral statements. Therefore, I would feel okay doing that.

而且我认为这是最不尴尬的选择。好了。下一个。这个需要我描绘一个场景。让我来描绘一下。

And I think it's the least awkward option. Okay. Next. This one this one requires me to paint a picture. So let me paint a picture.

你在网上认识了某人。可能是因为你经营一家蛋糕烘焙生意，有人私信你说，嘿，我想买一个你的蛋糕。我弟弟的生日快到了。一来二去，你开始和这个人聊天，甚至成了朋友。到了取蛋糕那天，感觉有点奇怪，因为你会想，等等。

You met someone online. Perhaps because you have a cake baking business, and someone DMs you and says, hey, I'd love to, like, buy one of your cakes. It's my brother's birthday coming up. And one thing leads to another, and you actually start chatting with this person and becoming friends with them. And on the day of the cake retrieval, it's kinda weird because it's like, wait a minute.

现在这是我的朋友了。一开始是有点职业性质的往来。比如，你知道，我是来拿蛋糕的。原本的互动应该很简单：你来取蛋糕，付钱，说声谢谢，然后离开。

This is my friend now. It started out as something kinda professional. Like, you know, I was gonna get this cake. And the interaction originally would have been pretty simple. You know, you go and pick up the cake, give the money, say thank you, and walk away.

没有拥抱，没有握手，什么都没有。也许握个手？如果合适的话。

There's no hug. There's no handshake. There's no nothing. Maybe a handshake. Maybe if it makes sense.

但最多也就是握个手说声谢谢，然后就这样结束了。但由于互联网的特性，以及如今我们以各种不寻常的方式相识，你们开始聊天变得熟络。可能每天都聊到真心觉得是朋友了，却还没见过面。到了取蛋糕那天，你他妈该怎么做？握手还是拥抱？

But, like, maximum exchange is like a handshake and a thank you, and then that's the end of it. But due to the nature of the Internet and and how we all meet each other in unusual ways these days, you start chatting it up and you become friendly. Maybe you talk every day to the point where you genuinely feel like you're friends, you haven't met yet. On the day to go pick up the cake, what the fuck are you supposed to do? Go in for a handshake or go in for a hug?

握手可能显得生疏，甚至有点冷淡。而拥抱呢，对方可能不喜欢。不是所有人都喜欢拥抱。事实上，我就不是总喜欢拥抱的人。

Handshake might feel sterile, might even feel standoffish. Hug, on the other hand, might not be cool with the other person. They might not like hugs. Not everyone likes hugs. In fact, I'm somebody who doesn't always like a hug.

如果有人想拥抱我，我会抱。但这不意味着我喜欢。我喜欢拥抱，但并非每次都喜欢。

I will always hug. If somebody wants to hug me, I will hug. But that doesn't mean I like it. I like it. But not always.

偶尔会有那么些时候，我可能有点烦躁，这种情况很少。我是说，不常发生，但我们都有压力大或易怒的时刻，这时候来个拥抱？不了，谢谢。懂吗？

There are, like, little times where I feel sometimes I can get a bit maybe irritable or very rare. I mean, not that often, but, like, we all have moments where we're stressed or we're irritable and, like, a hug. No. Thanks. You know?

不过就我个人而言，我确实更倾向于拥抱，尽管奇怪的是我其实更喜欢握手。比如，我宁愿握手成为我们所有人的标准礼节。但我总怕显得冷漠，所以如果感觉对方有拥抱的意图，我就会主动问：要抱一下吗？

However, I do tend to go in for the hug more often than not, personally. Even though weirdly, I prefer a handshake. Like, I'd I'd rather it just be the standard that we all handshake. But I always am afraid of coming off cold. So if I feel like somebody's giving hug energy, like, I'll be like, hug?

来吧，我可是拥抱派。你知道大家都怎么说。但试图揣测对方意图真的很尴尬也很令人紧张。说实话，我认为最稳妥的处理方式就是调侃这个人人都会遇到的窘境。

Come on. I'm a hugger. You know what they all say. But it's very awkward, and it's very intimidating trying to figure out what the decision is. Now I honestly think the most foolproof way to handle it is to make light of the fact that this is the dilemma that everyone experiences.

直接走过去问：我们握手还是拥抱？能不能干脆点撕掉这该死的创可贴？我们到底怎么搞？你想怎样？

Walk up and say, are we doing a handshake or a hug? Can we just rip off the fucking Band Aid? What are we doing? What are we doing? What do you want?

如果对方说'我也不知道，你想怎样？'，你就可以说：这样吧，先握手。如果下次再见，我们再拥抱。

And if they're like, I don't know. What do you want? Be like, you know what? Let's start with handshake. And if we ever see each other again, then we hug.

毕竟我们还没熟到那个程度。或者你也可以说：得了吧，我们每天都聊天，来个拥抱吧。如果对方回应'太他妈对了'——

But we don't know each other like that yet. Or if you're like, come on. We've been talking every day. Maybe a hug. And then if they're like, fuck yeah.

'我最爱拥抱了'——砰，你们就抱上了。问题解决。这种情况下沟通是不是也很关键？

I love a hug. Boom. Now you're hugging. Problem solved. Is communication key in this situation too?

或许吧。或许吧。另一个选择就是顺其自然。我们很多人总觉得需要事先规划这些事，比如...

Perhaps so. Perhaps so. The other option is to just let it go and let it happen. A lot of us feel like we need to plan these things. Like, okay.

我是该拥抱呢？还是该握手呢？然后这就导致了各种紧张感。到了那一刻，你会僵住，做出些奇怪或尴尬的举动。另一个选择就是顺其自然。

Am I gonna go in for the hug? Am I gonna go in for the handshake? And then that leads to, like, all this tension. And then in the moment, you freeze up and you do something weird or awkward or whatever. The other option is to go with the flow.

别事先想太多。到场后根据实际情况判断。对方怎么做？他们是倾向拥抱还是握手？

Don't think about it beforehand. Show up and just read the situation for what it is. What do they do? Do they go in for the hug? Do they go in for the handshake?

还是他们什么都不做？让他们主导局面，或者跟随你的直觉。如果你觉得，好吧，我感受到拥抱的气场了。那就别管那么多。

Do they go in for nothing? Let them sort of dictate the situation or go with your gut. If you're like, okay. I'm getting hug energy. Fuck it.

我们就拥抱吧。我认为第一个和最后一个选项是最好的。是的，要么把一切摊开来说，要么干脆他妈别想，看情况发展。下一个尴尬场景。

We hug. I think the first and last option are the best. Yeah. Either lay it all out on the table or don't even fucking think about it and just see what happens. Next awkward situation.

我再给你描述个场景。你走在城市的街上。好吧？可能是旧金山，也可能是纽约。

I'm gonna paint another picture for you. You're walking down the street in a city. Okay? Perhaps that's San Francisco. Perhaps that's New York.

然后你碰到了一个熟人。你们聊得不错，然后到了分别的时候。对方说，哦，我得赶地铁了，或者，我要去开会了，但见到你真好。你们同路。你怎么办？

And you bump into someone you know. You have a decent chat, and then it's time to part ways. Somebody's like, oh, I gotta catch the the subway or, you know, I got a meeting I'm going to, but it was so good to see you. You're walking in the same direction. What do you do?

你他妈该怎么办？我通常在这种情况会先观察对方走哪个方向，然后我就走反方向。会完全等着。就像刚经历完那种互动后，好吧，该走了。

What the fuck do you do? I usually, in this type of situation, try to see where the other person what direction they're walking first, and then I'll go the other way. Like, will fully wait. Like, if I just had an interaction like that, like, alright. Gotta go.

我会直接站在那里说，好吧，再见。然后我会假装看会儿手机，或者干脆站着不动，直到弄清对方要走的方向，然后我就反方向走，这样就不用面对尴尬了。我绝对会这么做。这能彻底避免所有尴尬。

I will literally stand there and say, alright. See you. And I'll, like, go on my phone for a second, install, or just stand there until I figure out what direction they're going, and then I go the opposite direction so that we don't I don't have to deal with that. I fully will do that. And that avoids all awkwardness.

这完全避免了整个问题。但如果你们已经同路了呢？那怎么办？如果你们已经并肩而行了呢？要我说，这反而是个制造幽默的机会。

It avoids the whole thing altogether. But what if you already are walking in the same direction as the other person? Then what? What if you're already walking side by side? Well, again, I think this is an invitation for humor.

你得说：好吧，这是所有人的噩梦——看啊，我们同路了，现在怎么办？我是说，你可以问：还有什么想聊的吗？毕竟我们显然还有段时间。

You you gotta be like, well, this is everyone's worst nightmare. Look, we're going the same direction. What now? I was like, you know, you could be like, anything else you wanna talk about? Or we obviously have some time.

既然同路，我们还能聊些什么呢？这样可能挺有趣的。或者你也可以说：知道吗？我要拯救我们俩——我决定转身走另一边。

We're going the same direction. What what else could we talk about? That could be kinda funny. Or you could be like, you know what? I'm gonna save us both the trouble.

不过这样有点粗鲁，别这么干。其实我不喜欢这个方案。

I'm not I'm gonna let you I'm gonna turn around. I'm gonna go the other way. That's kinda rude, though. Don't do that. I I don't like that one, actually.

我认为最佳方案是让另一方先走。但如果对方也在等着看你往哪走呢？这时候你可以问：呃，你要往哪边走？

I think the best option moving forward is that we should all let the other person just walk away first. But then there is an awkwardness of what happens if the other person also is gonna wait to see where you go. Then what? Well, you could be like, oh, which way are you going? You could ask the other person.

如果对方不动弹，想观察你的动向，你就可以问：你要走哪边？对方可能回答：哦，我走这边。你就可以说：好的，完美，我走另一边。

If they're, like, not moving, if they're kinda trying to see where you're going and you're trying to like, oh, which way are you going? They could be like, oh, I'm going this way. You're like, okay. Perfect. I'm going this way.

好吧，再见。至于你，往反方向走也没关系。我想这就是答案。要未雨绸缪。提前考虑，这样你甚至不会走到需要同行的地步。

Well, see you. And you it doesn't matter if you're going the other way. I think that's the answer. Think ahead. Think ahead so that you don't even get to the point where you're walking in the same direction.

这才是关键策略。下一个尴尬情境。在任何关系里——友情、爱情或其他——初期总有一段不知如何交谈的时期。如果你确定想交朋友，想变得亲密，想再次约会，就必须跨过那道坎，对吧？

That's the that's the move. Next uncomfortable situation. In every relationship, friendship, romantic, whatever, there's a period of time in the beginning where you don't know how to talk to each other. If you know that you wanna be friends, if you know that you're gonna be close, if you know you wanna go on another date, if you know you have to get over that hump. Right?

如果是那种每年只在圣诞派对上见一次、除此之外毫无交集的人，你根本不需要突破什么坎。随便寒暄几句后，就可以说'我社交电量不足了，要去角落静静'或者'我去拿杯酒就溜'。但当你真心想建立关系时，就必须经历那个尴尬阶段：不知如何自在相处，无法畅所欲言——因为这需要时间磨合彼此的笑点，理解你们的关系模式。

Somebody that you see at the holiday Christmas party once a year, and you have no interest in having a relationship outside of that, like, that person you don't need to get over that hump. You can small talk for a second and, like, you know, say, my social battery's low. I'm gonna go sit in the corner, or I'm gonna go get a drink and then get out of it. When you really want to have a relationship with somebody, you have to get through the awkward stage of like not really knowing how to be around somebody comfortably, not really knowing how to just talk freely, not really it because it takes time to understand the other person, understand your humor together, understand your relationship together. You know, it just takes time.

所以会存在这种紧张尴尬期，一切还不那么流畅。很多人这时候会选择喝酒。约会时微醺，和新朋友聚会时集体饮酒——酒精确实能快速拉近距离。

And so there's this awkward phase of tension where things just aren't quite flowing yet. And I think a lot of times people drink alcohol in these situations. You know, you go on a date, you get a little wine drunk. You know, you're hanging out with a new group of friends. You guys are going out to a party and you're all drinking together.

不过我现在处于戒酒阶段，保持清醒快一年了（也许还差些日子，具体记不清了）。

Like, nothing brings people together like alcohol. But I'm at a place now in my life where I don't drink. I've been sober for a year or a little under a year, maybe. I don't know. A year, whatever.

就当整一年吧。我不能再依赖酒精了，虽然曾经非常依赖。那么问题来了：在建立新关系（爱情或友情）时，如果没有酒精，如何度过那个尴尬期？说实话，这最让我困扰。

We can round up. And, like, I I can't rely on that anymore. And I really relied on that. So what do you do during that awkward phase in a new sort of relationship, romantic or platonic, if you don't have alcohol? This is the one that's stumping me the most, to be honest.

或许这个问题根本无法回避。我认为唯一能减轻尴尬（虽然偶尔还是会难为情）的方法，就是别把对方神化。我们常把潜在关系对象捧上神坛，正是这种'天啊他们太酷/太有魅力了'的想法让气氛紧张。

It's just I actually don't know if this one's avoidable. I mean, I think the only way to make this feel less awkward, uncomfortable, maybe not embarrassing, but like maybe at times a little bit embarrassing, is to take the person off the pedestal. I think sometimes we can put potential relationship prospects on a pedestal, and that's what makes things tense is that we're like, oh my god. They're so cool, or they're so, like, attractive, or this or that. And then that can make us sort of feel tense.

当我们看透这一点后，就会突然意识到：等等，他们也不过是个普通人。有什么大不了的？心墙自然就倒塌了。所以这或许是个心态转变的问题，就像告诉自己：你知道吗？

And then once we see through that, we're like, wait a minute. They're just a normal person. Who cares? The walls come down. So perhaps it's a matter of, like, mindset shifting, being like, you know what?

我明白迟早会意识到对方也是个普通人，他们不需要被神化。也许他们很优秀，但不必被供上神坛，更不必让我紧张不安。他们同样是人类，同样会紧张。我需要学会释怀。

I know that at some point, I'm gonna realize that this person is a normal human being and they don't really need to be on a pedestal. Perhaps they're wonderful, but they don't need to be on a pedestal, and they don't need to be making me nervous. They're another human being. They're also nervous. I just need to let it go.

但这确实很难。或许另一个方法是直接沟通，开个玩笑化解尴尬：'这局面有点怪怪的'。

But, like, that's hard. You know? Perhaps the other thing you could do is, again, communicate, make a joke about it. This is awkward. This is weird.

我们其实并不熟，确实挺尴尬的。不过有时候点破反而会让气氛更奇怪。懂我意思吗？在社交场合直接讨论当下的尴尬，有时能很好破冰，有时又会显得太过刻意。

We don't really know each other that well. It's weird. But see, that can sometimes makes things weirder. Do you know what I mean? To address your current social situation while you're in it, it can at times be a really good icebreaker and at times kind of be like too meta.

放轻松点，就像平常聊天那样。我认为最好的处理方式是带着自信入场，无论对方什么状态、什么反应，你都能保持从容不迫的态度。这样你就能定下调子——低压、随性又放松。当然这很难，因为结识新朋友本身就让人忐忑。

It's like, relax. Just like talk about do you know what I mean? I think the best way to handle it is to find confidence in yourself going into it so that no matter how the other person is feeling, no matter what they're doing, no matter whatever, you're confident, you are kind of laissez faire. And so then you're setting the tone, which is low pressure and chill and relaxed. It's a hard thing to do because it's intimidating to hang out with somebody new.

即便你非常自信，这种场合仍可能令人畏缩。不妨以这样的心态开始：'管他结果如何呢？我不需要刻意装酷，也不在乎他们是否喜欢我'。

Even if you have amazing confidence, it can still be really intimidating. It's almost like if you go into it being like, you know what? I don't really care what happens. I'm not trying to be cool. I don't really care if they like me.

我只需尽力做真实的自己。这样反而更少出糗，减少尴尬和不自在。还有个实用建议：提前准备些话题。如果见面前想好双方可能感兴趣的谈资，就有备无患，也能缓解'万一冷场怎么办'的焦虑。

I'm just gonna do my best and show up and be myself. It's almost like then you actually embarrass yourself less. It's less awkward, and it's less uncomfortable. The other thing you could do honestly is think about what you're gonna talk about beforehand too. If you have a few ideas of, like, what you could talk about before hanging out, some topics that you both are interested in, then you have something to fall back on, and that might ease your mind too so that you're not feeling like, oh god, what if I get stuck?

然后这就成了一个自我应验的预言——你极度害怕对话陷入僵局、变得沉默或尴尬。正因为你担心这个，几乎就像你主动让它成真了一样，结果就真的发生了。但如果你提前做好计划，比如想好：'如果谈话开始冷场，我就问对方这个问题或那个话题'。

And then it's a self fulfilling prophecy where you're super afraid of getting stuck in the conversation and things getting quiet or awkward. And then because you're worried about it, it's almost like you manifested it to be true, and then it happens. And it's like if you have a plan beforehand and you're like, you know what? If conversation starts to lull, I'll ask this person about this. I'll ask them about that.

如果你准备了五个备用话题，很可能根本用不上它们，因为这种准备本身就能缓解你的焦虑，减轻压力，让你能真正放松地聊天。明白吗？这样你就不会过度思考，对话自然就不会变得难堪、尴尬或不自在。或许关键是要找到一种'欺骗'大脑的方法，让自己不紧张、不焦虑，或者根本不在乎结果如何。

If you have, like, a list of five things, you probably won't even need to use those things because you'll that will relieve your anxiety enough or that'll relieve the pressure enough that you can actually just have a chill convo. You know? And, like, you're not overthinking it, and it is naturally just not embarrassing, awkward, or uncomfortable. Yeah. Maybe it's like figuring out a way to hack your brain so that you're not nervous or you're not anxious or you don't really care how it turns out.

你可以把对方从神坛上请下来。最终这种情况会自然发生。我是说，这或许不可避免。初次见面总会有点别扭，但总会过去的，向来如此。

You can take the other person off the pedestal. And then eventually, that'll happen naturally. I mean, maybe it's just inevitable. When you first meet somebody, it's gonna be a little bit weird, but eventually it will pass. It always does.

也许这就是新的人际关系中不可避免的阶段吧。好了，下一个问题很棘手。真的很棘手，准备好了吗？

Maybe that's just an inevitable part an an inevitable part of a new human relationship, perhaps. Okay. Next one's tough. This is a tough one. Okay?

在社交场合，有人突然走过来对你说：'天啊，见到你太好了！'而你疯狂搜索记忆库，却完全不记得见过这个人。是啊，太糟了。

Being in a social setting and somebody coming up to you and saying, oh my god. It's so good to see you. And you scanning the archives of your brain and having no recollection of ever meeting this particular person. Yeah. That sucks.

这种体验可不好玩。尤其是当对方还说：'记得我们当时一起...'而你完全懵了：'什么？'

It's not a fun one. Okay? Especially if they're, like, bringing up, like, oh my god. Remember when we did this? And you're like, what?

比如对方说：'记得四年级数学课吗？我们同一个老师，你就坐我旁边啊。'而你只能：'等等...什么？我完全不记得了。'听着...

Like, oh, remember we were in, like, fourth grade math together, and we had this teacher, and you sat next to me. And you're like, wait. What? I can't even remember that. Listen.

我认为这取决于你所在的行业。比如某些行业，还取决于你就读的是哪种学校，对吧？如果你上的是规模很大的学校，总会有你不记得的人。如果你从事的行业社交性很强，就会接触到很多人。

I think it depends on what industry you're in. Like, certain industries it also depends on, like, what kind of school you are at. Right? Like, you if went to a massive school, there's gonna be people you don't remember. If you work in a in a industry that's very social, there's a lot of people.

你经常遇到很多人，不可能记住每个遇见的人。我基本上记得高中所有同学，虽然不一定记得名字，但至少认得长相，因为我上的是所很小的学校。但在我的行业里，我时刻都在接触形形色色的人，源源不断。

You meet a lot of people all the time. You're not gonna remember everyone you meet. I remember everyone from my high school for the most part, not by name necessarily, but, like, at least by face because I went to a really small school. In my industry, though, I meet so many different people all the time. Constant, constant, constant.

有时候我也会记不起来。我能记住98%的人，但记忆里总有些奇怪的空白，就是怎么都想不起来。可能是对方换了发型，可能我这辈子只和他们聊过五分钟。人有时候就是会忘记。

And there are times when I don't remember. I remember 98%, But there are, like, weird blips in memory where I'm like, I just don't remember. Maybe somebody got a haircut. Maybe I only talked to them for five minutes of my life. Like, you forget sometimes.

那你怎么应对这种情况？当对方热情地说'天啊见到你太好了！还记得这些那些事吗？'而你完全没有印象时，该怎么处理这种对话？

So how do you handle that? How do you handle that conversation with somebody who's like, oh my god. It's so good to see you. Remember all this and that? And you don't have any recollection.

老实说我觉得必须假装记得直到真想起来。这种情况下不能诚实，诚实不是关键。你得撒谎说'见到你太好了！我比你想的还要想念你'。

Well, I honestly think you have to fake it till you make it. I think in this situation, you cannot be honest. Honesty is not key here. I think you have to lie, And you have to say, it is so good to see you. I have missed you more than you could ever know.

不，别那么说。应该表现得像是'当然啊，这还用说，我记得'。

No. Don't say that. But be like, yeah, obviously. Duh. I remember.

对啊，我记得。你...什么？呃好吧。

Yeah. I remember. You. What? My okay.

说实话，我会这么处理。其实就是这么回事。天啊，见到你真好。你怎么样？

Here's how I'd handle it, to be honest. It would be a matter of this. Oh my god. It's so good to see you. How are you?

最近怎么样？随便啦。聊着聊着你就觉得，好吧。等等，我得赶紧离开一下。

Like, what's been up? Whatever. You get a little bit into it, and then you're like, okay. Wait. I gotta go run for a second.

随便找个借口。可以说去喝点东西，或者其他理由。无所谓。天啊。

You come up with some excuse. Could be going and get a drink. Could be something else. Doesn't matter. Oh my god.

我真的得去趟洗手间。马上回来。趁机脱身。在他们发现你其实不认识他们之前赶紧溜。懂我意思吗？

I really have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Get out of it. Get out before they catch you in knowing that you don't know who they are. You know what I mean?

赶紧撤。这纯粹是因为忘记见过某人很不礼貌。但也能理解。听着，这完全情有可原。不过说实话，这种事确实很容易冒犯别人。

Get out. And it's it's it's it's simply because it is not nice to forget if you've met somebody. It's but it's also understandable. Like, listen, it's totally understandable. However, it is something that's widely offensive, to be honest.

说实话，我不在乎别人记不记得见过我。对我来说完全无所谓。但很多人会觉得被冒犯，这会让他们觉得自己无足轻重、容易被遗忘。这种感受可以理解。

I I don't care if somebody doesn't remember meeting me, to be honest. It could not be more fine with me, But a lot of people get really offended by that. It makes them feel insignificant. It makes them feel forgettable. Understandably so.

我懂。毕竟每个人都觉得自己是主角，应该被深刻记住。明白我意思吗？我们生活在一个自恋的时代，对他人缺乏宽容。就像这样——喂。

I get it. I mean, everyone thinks that they're the main character and should be remembered vividly. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's very it we we live in a in a narcissistic time with not a lot of forgiveness for others. It's like, hello.

我们会遇到很多人。偶尔忘记是正常的，但人们对此会非常介怀。我觉得当这种情况变得如此普遍时尤其如此。如果你和某人只相处了五分钟，你不可能总是记得。但如果你曾与某人交谈两小时、交换号码、约定共进午餐后又取消，之后却再无联系，那你应该记得这个人——因为尽管最终没成为朋友，你们曾有过重要交集。

We meet a lot of people. It's okay to forget sometimes, but people get really butthurt about that. I it's when it's so normal. If you meet somebody for five minutes, you're not always gonna remember. If you met somebody and talked to them for two hours and had to see it and, like, exchanged numbers and said you were gonna get lunch and then canceled and then never spoke again, you should remember that person because you had a even though you never, like, became friends, you had a significant interaction.

但如果只是十分钟的短暂相遇后被遗忘，其实没关系。我为什么这么防备？可能是因为饿了。确实有点饿。

But if you met somebody for ten minutes and then they forget, it's like, yeah. It's okay. Why am I being so defensive? Maybe because I'm hungry. I am a little hungry.

如果说话带刺请见谅各位。我因为有点饿所以脾气上来了。现在本该是我的晚餐时间，但我没安排好。其实开播前可以吃晚饭的，只是那会儿还不怎么饿。

Sorry if I'm getting a little snippy, you guys. I'm getting a little snippy because I'm a little hungry. It is kinda my dinner time. I didn't really plan this out. Like, I I probably could've eaten dinner before I started, but I wasn't quite hungry yet.

现在饿意袭来，晚餐时间却忙得脱不开身。现实如此，但我会逐渐变得易怒——用流行词来说就是"饿怒症"。总之最佳策略是：表现得异常热情，假装认识对方，尽快结束对话。假装去洗手间或拿饮料。

Now I'm getting hungry. Now it's dinner time, but I'm busy. So, you know, it is what it is, but I'm just I'm gonna start I'm gonna start getting progressively more irritable, more hangry, if you will, as they say. Anyway, I think the best method, be super warm, pretend like you know them, get out of the conversation as quickly as possible, Pretend go to the bathroom. Pretend go get a drink.

随便什么理由都行。之后试着调查这人是谁、可能在哪里见过。如果有朋友在场就问朋友，四处打听。

Whatever. Doesn't matter. Then try to investigate who this person is and where you could have met them. If you're there with a friend, ask the friend. Ask around.

想办法弄清你们的关系。等查明白后再带着这些信息重新加入谈话。或许你可以谷歌他们——虽然不知道名字就搜不了，但万一他们自报过姓名呢。

Figure it out. Figure out how you know them. Then go back up later with the knowledge of who they are once you figure it out. Maybe you Googled them, which I guess if you don't know their name, you can't Google them. But perhaps they said their name.

对方说"是我呀，某某某，记得吗？"你嘴上应着"当然"其实毫无印象。这种情形下或许能谷歌到信息，等摸清底细后再回来继续装熟。

They're like, it's me, so and so. Remember? And you're like, yes. But you actually don't. You could maybe Google them in that scenario, figure out who they are, and then go back up, and then continue the conversation now that you know.

你知道吗？哦，这其实最近也发生在我身上。有个人走过来对我说，天哪，还记得我吗？我只好说，当然记得。

You know? Oh, that actually happened to me somewhat recently. There was this one person who came up and was like, oh my god. Remember me? And I was like, yes.

这也是个工作场合认识的人。他走过来问，你还记得我吗？我嘴上说着记得，说实话我根本不记得。当时周围环境特别吵。

This was a work related person as well. Came up to me and was like, do remember me? And and I was like, yes. To be honest, I didn't I didn't remember. And it was really loud where we were.

这人接着说，我在某某公司工作。我连他公司名都没听清，只能敷衍说，哦对，是的，没错。

And this person was like, oh, I work for so and so. I couldn't even really hear who they work for. So I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

是啊，见到你真高兴。我当时只想赶紧脱身，因为我得去打听这人是谁。毕竟我已经假装认识他了，可能他也看出我在装，但我想管他呢，只能继续演下去。

Yeah. So good to see you. And I was trying to get out of it because I was like, I need to go ask who this person is. Because I had said that I knew, and I think they could maybe tell that I didn't know, but I was like, fuck it. I have to just act like I do.

结果他突然说，我一直很想合作这个项目。我心想完了，等等，这对话不能再装下去了，我根本不知道他是哪个公司的。

And then they were like, well, I've been like really wanting to work together on this. And I was like, fuck. I'm like, wait. I was like, I can't I can't be pretending in this conversation. I didn't hear who this person works for.

天啊，简直一团糟。后来聊到某个节点时，我不得不打断他问：等等，你之前是在某某公司，现在又去了哪家？他当时表情有点...倒不是生气，但明显在说：我刚说过我在某某公司啊。

Oh my god. It was a mess. And so actually, at a certain point in the conversation, I I had to be like, wait. So you used to work for so and so, and now you work for who now? And then they got kind of, like, a little bit not offended, but they were little bit like, I just said, like, I work for, like, so and so.

我之前在某某公司待过。我不是说过了吗？而且你说你记得我，我们明明认识的。我只能老实交代：我知道，但我刚才没听清。

And I used to work for so and so. Like, I already said that. And, like, you know that. You've we know each other. You said you know and I was like, I know, but I didn't hear.

我搞砸了。场面有点尴尬。但完全没有恶意，没人觉得被冒犯。气氛其实很轻松，只是我自己觉得有点难堪。

And I and I fucked up. And it was a little awkward. No hard feelings at all. Nobody was offended. It was, like, totally light, but that was a little awkward for me.

对吧？我本该早点结束对话，先查清楚信息再回去。明白吗？但我没这么做，结果搞砸了。

Right? And what I should have done was gotten out of the conversation sooner and found out my information and then gone back. You know? But I didn't. And I fucked up.

好吧，下一个问题。当有人在众人面前讲了个烂笑话却没人笑时，你怎么办？说实话，这个我真不知道该怎么处理。

Okay. Next. What do you do when somebody tells a bad joke in front of everyone and no one laughs? What do you do? I don't know what I don't know what to do about this one, to be honest.

这种场面总是很尴尬。我想到几个选择：如果笑话不算特别冒犯人，只是不好笑的话，假装笑一下也无妨。不过有时候假笑会被看出来。虽然我其实挺擅长这个——当没人笑时，我的本能反应就是用笑声填补冷场。

This is always awkward. A few options are coming to mind. If the joke is not, like, terribly offensive, if it's not, like, a bad joke because it was offensive, then maybe a little fake laugh never hurt anyone. But then you can kinda tell it's fake sometimes. Although, I actually am pretty good at, like, if no one else laughs at a joke, my instinct is to start laughing to fill the void.

这方面我做得不错。只要笑话不冒犯人，这是个可行方案。但确实遇到过有人讲道德上让我无法认同的恶劣笑话时，由于本能反应，我也跟着笑了——因为其他人都沉默，我不知道该怎么办。这种场面很不体面。

I'm pretty good about that. So that's an option as long as the joke is not offensive. But there have been times where somebody's made, like, a really fucked up joke that I, like, actually do not agree with morally. And out of instinct, I've laughed because no one else laughed, and I didn't know what to do. Not the best look.

而且这种笑并不能代表我的幽默取向。感觉就像...这不是真实的我。如果笑话具有冒犯性，那就很难办了。说实话，我个人会选择完全沉默，最多说句'好吧'。

And, also, it's not representative of me and my humor and what I like in humor. So it's like, I don't it's inauthentic to me. If the joke is offensive, it's tough. Like, honestly, for me personally, I'm just not gonna say a word. Maybe at most I'll be like, alright.

看吧，这就是我的处理方式。或许该保留这个方案...也可能这个方案本该留在草稿箱里。

Well, there you go. That's like something I'd say. I'd like, maybe keep that one. Maybe keep that one. Maybe that one should have stayed in the drafts.

你知道吗？你可以不当回事，但可能这个玩笑不太合适。懂我意思吗？但如果只是笑话不好笑而不冒犯，我觉得最好的办法就是假笑。为什么不呢？

You know? Like, you can make light of it, but be like, maybe not that one. You know? But if the joke is just bad and not offensive, then I actually think the best option is to fake laugh. Why not?

就是假笑。装作，你懂的？这个我他妈听懂了。对。说实话，这个真的难到我了。

Like, fake laugh. Be like, you know what? I fucking got that one. Yes. I actually have a really hard this one's stumping me, to be honest.

这真是个难题。你无法控制别人在你周围说什么。而且，你可以选择拿笑话冷场这件事开玩笑。对吧？你可以说，要不一小时后再试试？

This is a really hard one. You can't control what other people say around you. And, I mean, there's an option to, like, poke fun at the fact that the joke flopped. Right? You could be like, well, maybe try again in an hour.

别灰心。刚才那个不好笑，但你可以再试个更好的。不过这样可能有点刻薄，特别是如果对方本来就不太幽默，或者幽默感不太好，这样可能会让他们觉得自己成了笑柄，他们本来是想逗大家笑的。这可能会让他们更难受。所以，我不知道。

Don't get defeated. That wasn't a good one, but you could try again better. But that could also be kinda mean, especially if somebody's, like, not particularly funny and maybe they struggle with their sense of humor, like, that actually might make them feel like the butt of the joke and, like, they were trying to make a joke. That might make them feel worse. So I, like, I don't know.

这要看是谁讲了那个不好笑的笑话。如果是那种特别皮实或者平时挺幽默的人，可能没关系。但如果对方比较敏感，可能就不合适了。也许你只能假笑一下。懂吗？

It depends on the like, who made the bad joke. If it's somebody who's particularly tough or usually kinda funny, then maybe it's fine. But, like, if it's somebody who's more sensitive, that might not be the move. Maybe you just have to fake laugh. You know?

如果那个笑话是冒犯性的，呃，赶紧走。直接走人。我在想上次有人在我旁边讲冒犯性笑话时我做了什么。我想不起来了。已经很久了。

And then if the joke was offensive, ugh, get out. Just get out. I I'm trying to think about the last time I was around somebody who made, like, an offensive joke or something and, like, what I did. I can't remember. It's been a long time.

我希望短期内别再遇到这种情况了。好了，换个话题。当你讲了个不好笑的笑话时你会怎么做？这个简单多了。

And I hope that I don't get into that situation again for a while. Okay. Moving on. What do you do when you tell a bad joke? That's so much easier.

如果你讲了个烂笑话，补救方法无穷无尽。你可以说：好吧，看来大家不喜欢这个？或者表示：行吧各位，我一小时后再试一次。

If you tell a bad joke, there's infinite things you can do. You could be like, okay. So you guys didn't like that one? You could say, alright, you guys. I'll try again in an hour.

你还可以夸张地说：过分了啊各位。应对方式多得很。一旦笑话冷场，立刻自嘲就行。我就遇到过讲完笑话无人发笑的状况——不是冒犯到谁，纯粹是笑话不好笑。

You could be like, too far, you guys. There's so many things you could do. The second you make a fail of a joke, you poke fun back. Like, there's been times where I've made a joke and no one's laughed. Not because it was offensive, but just because it wasn't funny.

幽默本就这样。不可能每个段子都炸场，总会偶尔哑火。这时候我就想：见鬼，什么情况？

Like, that's how humor is. Like, you're not gonna have hit after hit after hit. You're gonna have a bust every once in a while. And I was like, dang it. Like, what?

结果这种反应反而逗乐大家。我就顺势说：给点面子啊各位。类似操作我常干，反正总能化解尴尬。

And like and then that was funny, and everybody laughed at that or whatever. Like I was like, come on, you guys. Someone like, I've done stuff like that. Like, whatever. And that always works.

反而比原笑话更有趣，局面就挽回了。自己的笑话翻车时，必须立即踩刹车，越快越好。最后说说电梯社交礼仪——这确实挺微妙。我经历过各种电梯里的互动。

Then there then that's more funny, and then it's like, fine. When it's your own fail of a joke, you gotta you like, you can squash that shit the second it happens, so you might as well. And last but not least, how to interact with somebody in an elevator. It is really kind of a weird thing. I've had many different types of elevator interactions.

常见的是全程沉默。也有那种「嘿，最近怎样？」「还行」「好吧」的客套。

I've had many interactions where people come in, silence. I've also had interactions where people are like, hey. How's it going? And then it's like, good. And it's like, alright.

最好能在说「回见」时，对方刚好到楼层。懂我意思吗？每种方式都各有利弊。

See you. Hopefully, by the time you get to the see you, it's like, hopefully, you can get to that see you pretty quick because somebody has arrived to their floor. You know? I think both of their pros and their cons. Right?

保持沉默可以说是更好的选择。这很简单。和其他人安静地共处没什么问题。比如，这并没有什么不对。这不一定就是冷漠。

Remaining silent is arguably the better option. It's just simple. It's okay to just coexist in silence with other human beings. Like, there's nothing wrong about that. It's not necessarily cold.

也不一定就是无礼。实际上，我认为这其中有种奇怪的美丽。然而，对很多人来说，沉默是令人不适的。事实上，有时对我也如此。随着年龄增长，我越来越能适应与人相处时的沉默。

It's not necessarily rude. I think there's actually something weirdly beautiful about it. However, silence is uncomfortable for a lot of people. In fact, it's uncomfortable for me at times. As I get older, I'm more comfortable with silence with people.

但过去沉默对我来说就像是世界上最吵闹的东西。比如，我总是不得不填补沉默。如果谈话中出现冷场，我总是第一个打破它的人。如果有人讲了个笑话没人笑，我就是那个笑的人。如果我在电梯里和别人一起却安静无声，那简直是折磨。

But silence used to be, like, the loudest thing in the world to me. Like, I always had to fill silence. If there if, like, there was a lull in conversation, I was always the first one to fill it. If somebody made a joke and nobody laughed, I was the one laughing. If I'm in an elevator and somebody's in the elevator with me and it's quiet, it's agony.

我曾与沉默抗争。现在，我对它适应多了。我想我现在对人类心理有了更好的理解，我知道沉默只有在你自己觉得尴尬或奇怪时才会如此。比如，能够与他人安静共处是非常正常、健康且美好的事情。不过，在电梯里和人打招呼也有其价值。

I used to struggle with silence. Now, I'm much more comfortable with it. I think I just have a better understanding of human psychology at this point, and I know that silence is only awkward or weird if you make it awkward or weird. Like, being able to coexist in silence with other human beings is a very normal, healthy, beautiful thing. However, there is some value to greeting the person in the elevator.

嘿，最近怎么样？你要去几楼？需要我帮你按按钮吗？这种互动其实也能很愉快，能消除奇怪的沉默，甚至可以成为非常美好的人际交流。

Hey. How's it going? You know, what floor are you going? Did you need me to push a button or whatever? Or that actually can also be really enjoyable and can eliminate the weird silence and can even be like a really beautiful human interaction.

然而，如果持续太久，它也可能变得尴尬或奇怪。如果电梯很慢之类的。然后突然之间，天啊，我都不知道该怎么继续了。这感觉就很笨拙。

However, it can get awkward or weird if it goes on for too long. If the elevator's slow, whatever. Then next thing you know, it's like, oh my god. I don't even know how to continue. This is, like, clunky.

因为对话太短，无法深入任何实质内容。但有时又可能拖得太长，让人想：我们现在该聊什么？只剩大概十秒钟了，但这十秒变得很尴尬。我通常更喜欢在电梯里保持沉默，但如果有人想和我聊天，我也完全乐意。我完全接受。

Because it's too short of a conversation to really get into anything real. But sometimes it can get too long to where it's like, well, what do we get into now? We only have, like, ten seconds left, but this is, a weird ten seconds here. I tend to prefer silence in the elevator, but if somebody wants to talk to me in the elevator, I'm all about it. I'm all about it.

我在那儿。我在那儿聊天。我会尽量充分利用那十到二十秒的时间。你知道吗？我觉得不那么尴尬的选择几乎就是保持沉默。

I'm there. I'm there to chat. And I'm gonna try to make the most of those ten to twenty seconds. You know? I think the less awkward option almost is just being in silence.

也许微微一笑或点点头，然后继续前进。就这样结束了。我想那可能是最好的方式。就是这样。老实说，我真的不知道我们今天学到了什么。

Maybe a little smile or a nod, and then just moving on. And that's the end of it. I think that's probably the best. That's it. To be honest, I don't really know what we learned today.

我不知道我们是否学到了什么。但你知道真正重要的是我们玩得很开心。我要告诉你，我玩得很开心，希望你也一样。如果你喜欢并且想和我多聚聚，《Anything Goes》每周四和周日都有新节目，你可以在任何播客平台收听。不过如果你想看视频，那只能在YouTube和Spotify上观看。

I don't know if we learned anything. But you know what really matters is that we had fun. And I'll tell you, I had fun, and I hope you did too. And if you did and you wanna hang out with me some more new episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday, you can stream anywhere you get podcasts. Although if you wanna watch video, that is exclusively on YouTube and Spotify.

你可以在社交媒体上关注《Anything Goes》的账号Anything Goes。你可以在网上任何地方找到我，账号是Emma Chamberlain，你还可以在全世界和网上任何地方找到我的咖啡公司Chamberlain Coffee。我爱你们所有人。感谢你们所有人。每次相聚都如此愉快。

You can check out Anything Goes on social media at Anything Goes. You can check me out on the Internet and wherever at Emma Chamberlain, and you can check out my coffee company in the world and on the Internet and wherever else at Chamberlain Coffee. I love you all. I appreciate you all. It's always so much fun to hang out.

不过我得去吃晚饭了，因为我开始有点...开始有点饿得烦躁了。我还不知道要吃什么，杂货差不多用完了。所以可能会吃点奇怪的东西。我正在打开食品柜，看着那些罐头。你懂的吧？

I need to go eat my dinner though because I'm getting a little bit I'm getting a little bit hangry. I don't know what I'm gonna eat yet, kinda out of groceries. So it's gonna be something weird. I'm like opening up the pantry and like looking at the cans of things I have. You know?

通常来说，我会有个计划。比如我知道要做什么。就像，好吧，我买了所有这些农产品之类的，然后我就...不，没有农产品。

Like normally, it's like I have a plan. Like I know what I'm making. It's like, okay. Well, I bought all these all this produce or like whatever, and I'm gonna no. No produce.

我不知道晚餐要做什么，希望味道不错，因为我打算即兴发挥。如果不好吃，我会他妈的气疯的。祝我好运吧。总之，我爱你们所有人。感谢你们所有人。

I I don't know what I'm making for dinner, and I hope it tastes good because I'm gonna wing it. And if it doesn't taste good, I'm gonna be so fucking pissed. Wish me luck. Anyway, I love you all. I appreciate you all.

一起玩真开心。幸运的是，我们过几天又能见面了。也许到时候能见到你。好的，再见。

It's so fun to hang. And luckily for both of us, we get to hang again in a few days. Perhaps I'll see you then. Okay. Bye.