等等，我不知道该怎么撩

嗯，我认为最能引起共鸣的答案是：他们确实在我关注范围内，但我保持轻松自然的态度。

Well, I think the answer that seems to be resonating most is they're definitely on my radar, but I keep it casual and normal.

这没什么大不了的。

It's no big deal.

但有时候我太随意、太正常、太不当回事了，以至于根本不像在看他们。

But sometimes I'm, like, too casual, too normal, too no big deal to the point where it's like I'm, like, not even, like, looking at them.

好的。

Okay.

下一个。

Next.

诚实一点，不要评判。

Be honest and no judgment.

你有没有为了取悦别人而谎称过自己的兴趣？

Have you ever lied about your interests to impress someone else?

没有。

No.

嗯，我想可能在我八岁的时候吧。

Well, I mean, maybe when I was eight.

让我告诉你，从我四岁起，我就一直持续地暗恋别人。

Because let me tell you, I have been in a cycle of having a crush consistently since I was literally four years old.

我几乎从未有过间断。

I have barely ever had a break.

我喜欢暗恋的感觉。

I love having a crush.

我总是有暗恋对象。

I always have a crush.

这就是我的本性。

It's just who I am.

所以我现在正在暗恋一个人，而他其实根本不是我该在一起的人，因为我就是必须要有暗恋对象。

That's why I have a crush right now that's not even somebody that I actually should ever be with because I just always have to have a crush.

而不知为什么，这个男生现在就成了我的暗恋对象。

And right now, for whatever reason, this guy has just become my crush.

但我会立刻放下，如果出现真正合理的人的话。

But, like, it could I I will drop it in a second if I if something that actually makes sense comes around.

但不知为什么，我的大脑就是需要一直有暗恋对象。

But I just, for my brain, for whatever reason, need to always have a crush.

我一直以来都有暗恋对象。

I've always had a crush.

这就是我。

It's who I am.

嗯。

Yeah.

我不需要撒谎。

I don't need to lie.

现在，我没在撒谎。

Like, these days, I'm not lying.

这真奇怪。

That's weird.

好的。

Okay.

下一个。

Next.

你通常跟谁调情？

Who do you usually flirt with?

选项一，我通常只跟我的约会对象调情。

Option one, I usually only flirt with my date.

选项二，我倾向于跟陌生人调情。

Option two, I tend to flirt with total strangers.

选项三，我主要跟认识一段时间的人调情。

Option three, I mostly flirt with people I've known for a little while.

选项四，只要看起来有趣的人，我都会跟他们调情。

Option four, I'll flirt with just about anyone who seems interesting.

我可以说，我主要还是跟认识一段时间的人调情。

I would say I've I mostly flirt with people I've known for a little while for sure.

主要是我正在约会并且知道对方对我有好感的人。

Mainly, people I'm dating who I know like me.

即使和我正在约会的人调情也可能很难，比如当我……

And even flirting with, like, somebody I'm dating can be hard if like, I'm no.

嗯，也许不算难，但一旦开始约会，调情的方式就变了。

Well, maybe not hard, but, like, once you're dating, the flirting changes.

不是同一种类型了。

It's not the same type.

你懂吗？

You know?

所以这就属于不同的类别了。

So then it's kind of in a different category.

好的。

Okay.

下一个问题。

Next question.

选择一种方式来打动你正在调情的人。

Choose a way to impress someone you're flirting with.

选项一：背诵一首经典的浪漫诗歌。

Option one, recite a classic romantic poem from memory.

这对我来说简直是地狱。

That is hell to me.

地狱。

Hell.

谁会啊。

Who no.

这不行。

That is no.

对我来说，这有点尴尬，我非常害怕不小心显得尴尬。

To me, that's a little maybe a little cringe, and I'm very afraid of being cringe on accident.

你知道吗？

You know?

我是说，我从来不想那样，那甚至不是单纯的尴尬，而是有点做作。

Like, I don't ever wanna be it's not even it's cringe because it's a little performative.

你懂的？

You know?

但另一方面，我又不想显得粗鲁。

But then again, I don't wanna be, like, rude.

如果有人，你知道的，背了一首诗想分享，那我有什么资格去评判呢？

If somebody, you know, memorized a poem and wants to share it, like, who am I to judge?

对吧？

Right?

但如果是我这么做，就会感觉很做作。

But if I were to do it, it would feel performative.

所以我觉得那样会很尴尬。

And so that's why I think it would be cringe.

好吧。

Okay.

接下来，我会提到他们之前说过的一个小细节，以表明我一直在认真倾听。

Next, I bring up a tiny detail they mentioned earlier to show them that I'm paying close attention.

这就是我的风格。

That's me coded.

第三种方式，我会做一些小而礼貌的事情，比如帮他们扶门或请他们吃饭。

Option three, I do something small and polite, like hold the door or pay for their meal.

我也会这么做。

I would also do that.

第四种方式，我会展示我的一项特殊技能，比如用舌头在樱桃梗上打结。

Option four, I show them one of my special skills, like tying a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue.

你看，能有点儿这样的小本事，微妙得几乎像是一种小魅力，那该多好。

See, that it would be nice to have some sort of, like, little, like, subtly almost kind of, like, hot little thing like that.

我没有这种本事。

I don't have that.

所以这肯定不是我能做的，不过我真的很想会这样。

So that's definitely not I mean, I'd love to do that.

但你看，如果我这么做，我觉得这会显得很做作。

But see, that also I feel like would be performative if I were to do it.

所以，不行。

So, no.

我认为最能代表我的方式是提起他们之前提到的一个小细节。

I would say the most me is bringing up a tiny detail they mentioned earlier.

最后一个问题是，你会不会通过送礼物来赢得对方的好感？

And last question, do you like to give gifts to the other person to win them over?

不会。

No.

送礼物完全不是我的爱的语言，所以不会。

Gift giving is not my love language at all, so no.

我本来就对送礼物感到焦虑。

And I already get anxiety about giving gifts.

如果是要送给暗恋的人，那就更不会了。

If it was to somebody I had a crush on, like, no.

好。

K.

来看看我的结果。

Let's see my results.

哦，它说你天生有魅力。

Oh, it says you've got natural charm.

你并不是一个特别爱调情的人。

You're not a huge flirter.

没错。

True.

但你拥有大量的魅力，总是能自然而然地吸引你遇到的人。

But you've got tons of charisma, and you tend to charm the people you meet anyway.

有时候你甚至可能没意识到自己正在这样做。

Sometimes you're probably not even aware you're doing it.

这太好了，我正需要听到这些。

That's so nice, and I needed to hear that.

我开始哭，因为我太害怕搭讪了。

I start crying because I'm so scared of flirting.

当你和别人搭讪时，他们往往会因为和你聊天、期待你接下来会说什么而感到开心。

When you flirt with someone, they tend to have fun just talking to you and seeing what you'll say next.

如果你没有整晚都和他们聊天，他们也会带着微笑和心头的一丝悸动离开。

And if you're not spending the rest of the evening chatting together, they're walking away with a smile and a little flutter in their heart.

我们知道你已经知道了，但请记住要保持尊重，确保对方感到舒适，这是成功搭讪的关键。

And we know you already know, but just remember to stay respectful and make sure others are comfortable, which is key to a successful flirt.

现在就出去展示你的魅力吧，上面这么说。

Now get out there and strut your stuff, it says.

谢谢你，WikiHow。

Thank you, WikiHow.

莫名其妙地，这是我最喜欢的网站。

Randomly my favorite website.

嗯。

Yeah.

我再说说 flirting 的另一件事。

I that's the other thing with flirting.

我总是担心会让他们觉得奇怪或者不舒服。

I always am afraid of, like, weirding them out or creeping them out.

我不想变得让人讨厌。

Like, I don't ever wanna be creepy.

所以，我害怕变得 creepy 也成了障碍。

And so my fear of being creepy also gets in the way.

有太多太多心理障碍在阻碍我 flirting。

It's like there's so many things, so many mental blocks that I have getting in the way of me flirting.

说实话，也许我根本不需要上网找如何 flirting 的指南，不过我还是会去查，因为我好奇这会不会对我有帮助。

And to be honest, perhaps it's not even that I need to look up a guide on how to flirt online, which I'm still gonna do anyway because I'm curious if it'll help me.

但也许真正需要解决的是根本问题，嗯，那就是高中时期的创伤，还有对被拒绝的恐惧，以及害怕变得 creepy。

But perhaps it's actually addressing the root issue, mhmm, which is that high school trauma, but also to fear of rejection, but also to being afraid of being creepy.

对吧？

Right?

我知道我不讨人厌。

I know I'm not creepy.

我知道我永远不会做任何令人反感的事，但我太爱钻牛角尖了，结果自己把自己吓退了。

I know I would never do anything creepy, but it's like I'm such an overthinker that, you know, I psych myself out.

但不管怎样，这让我安心了。

But anyway, that's reassuring.

我内心是有这个能力的。

I have it in me.

就连我偶然在网上找到的这个小测验也说，我具备这种能力。

Even this random quiz I found online told me I have it in me.

但让我们来看看我在WikiHow上找到的这篇文章，如何向男生调情。

But let's get into this article I found also on WikiHow, how to flirt with a guy.

让我们看看它怎么说。

Let's see what it has to say.

我先短暂打断一下这一集，告诉你本集由州立农场保险公司赞助。

I briefly interrupt this episode to let you know that this episode is brought to you by State Farm.

保险表面上看起来都差不多，但有保险并不等于有州立农场保险。

Insurance may all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm.

这就像计划去一个你以为是美丽湖泊的地方郊游，结果却到了一个满是害虫的池塘。

It's like planning a day trip to what you thought was a lovely lake only to arrive at a pond full of pests.

这显然不是你想要的氛围。

Technically, not the vibe you wanted.

你不会将就一个浑浊的游泳地点，所以也不要将就任何一种保险。

You wouldn't settle for a sludgy swim spot, so don't settle for just any insurance.

当需要帮助时，州立农场才是真正的选择。

When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal.

像好邻居一样，州立农场始终在你身边。

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

现在回到节目本身。

Now back to the episode.

第一部分：从房间另一端搭讪。

Part one, flirting from across the room.

第一，保持眼神交流。

Number one, make eye contact.

眼神交流是一种关键的调情技巧，只要你的暗恋对象在视线范围内，随时随地都可以使用。

Eye contact is a key flirting technique which can be implemented anywhere at any time as long as your crush is in sight.

虽然你不想看起来像是在深深凝视他的灵魂，但持久的眼神接触会让他知道你对他感兴趣。

While you don't want it to look like you're staring deep into his soul, lingering eye contact will show him you're interested.

事情是这样的。

Here's the thing.

我看到，这就是我紧张的原因，因为这样 okay。

I and see, this is why I'm nervous because this okay.

我得先说明一下。

I have to preface.

我现在喜欢的这个人，根本没那么认真。

This crush that I have now, it's so not serious.

根本没那么深的感情。

It's so not that deep.

但他是第一个我接触得足够多、以至于能产生一点好感的人。

But this is the first guy that I've been exposed to enough where, like, a little crush has been able to form.

实际上，这给了我一个机会，让我想：也许我可以和他聊聊，调情一下，找点乐子。

There's actually an opportunity where it's like, oh, maybe I could talk to him and flirt with him and have a little bit of fun.

甚至都不是真的想和他调情。

Not even, like, flirt with him.

谁知道呢？

Who knows?

对吧？

Right?

我仍然在努力克服和他说话、甚至和他对视的障碍。

I'm still trying to get over the barrier of just even talking to him at all or even making eye contact with him.

但他更像是一个提醒，让我意识到自己需要改进什么，因为我在想象，如果真有机会和他调情，像那样轻松地互动，会是什么样子。

But he's more of sort of this wake up call for me of what I need to work on because I'm imagining what it would be like if there was an opportunity to flirt with him where it made sense, like a little something.

然后我就想：哇。

And I'm like, oh, wow.

我还没准备好。

I'm not prepared.

所以请记住这一点。

So just keep this in mind.

无论如何，我经常见到这个人，但我真的从未正眼看过他。

Anyway, I see this man so often, and I literally have never looked at him.

就在今天，其实有个机会，我们正好擦肩而过。

And there has been there was an opportunity literally today where we were we walked right by each other.

你想知道我做了什么吗？

And you wanna know what I did?

低着头看地面。

Looked at the ground.

我发誓真的如此。

I kid you not.

我低着头看地面。

I looked at the ground.

我走过去，哎呀，低着头。

I walked by, oop, head down.

我真的连这种事都做不好。

I am really I'm bad at even this.

明白吗？

Okay?

你知道吗，我觉得眼神交流是最简单的第一步，但难就难在你不想被发现盯着别人看，因为那样感觉有点怪，让我觉得毛毛的。

You know, I I think eye contact is, like, the easiest first step, but I think what's hard about it is, like, you don't wanna be caught staring because that's kind of see, that feels creepy to me.

从房间另一头看过去的问题就在于，我不想显得很诡异。

That's the issue with, like, looking from across the room is I don't want to seem creepy.

对我来说，盯着看确实很诡异。

And to me, like, staring seems creepy.

然后呢，好吧。

And then it's like, okay.

如果他回望我，我微微一笑然后移开视线，这应该不算诡异，但我怕他回望我的时候我会吓一跳。

If he looks back, and I, like, smile a little and look away, that's not really creepy, but I'm scared that I would get startled if he looked back at me.

然后我会立刻移开视线，因为我会被吓到。

And then I would, like, look away really quickly because I would get startled.

这就是我的恐惧。

That's my fear.

我还担心，我那微微一笑会是什么样子？

And I'm also afraid of, like, what will my little smirk look like?

我不知道。

I don't know.

我真的不知道。

I literally don't know.

所以我觉得我还没准备好面对这个。

So I don't know that I'm ready for this one.

我实际上觉得这个比我们所有人想的都要更难。

I actually feel like this one's more advanced than we all would think.

我觉得我需要先建立一点自信。

Think I I need to build a little bit more confidence first.

但到了某个时候，能自信地从房间另一头看过去，与对方眼神交流，然后微微一笑，再轻轻移开视线，那该多好。

But at some point, it would be nice to to feel the confidence to, like, look from across the room and make eye contact and then, you know, do a little smirk and maybe look away.

这正好引出了在远处 flirt 的第二步：微笑。

Well, that leads us to step two when flirting across the room to smile.

研究表明，微笑实际上会让你对他人更具吸引力，所以不妨利用这一点，露出你闪亮的牙齿。

Studies have shown that smiling actually makes you more attractive to other people, so work that into your advantage by flashing those pearly whites.

说实话，我有一种奇怪的间接式 flirt 方式，那就是不知为何，每当我身边有我喜欢的人时，我会不自觉地笑得更多。

See, I will say there is something that I do that is a weird, indirect form of flirting, which is that for whatever reason, naturally, when I'm around somebody that I have a crush on, I will smile so much more.

我根本停不下来笑。

I can't stop smiling.

我根本无法把笑容从脸上抹掉。

I can't wipe the smile off my face.

我认为这是一种潜意识的行为。

And I think it is a subconscious thing.

我内心深处知道，这种表现其实很有吸引力。

I know deep down that that is an attractive thing.

这几乎是本能的。

It's almost biological.

这是出于本能的。

It's instinctual.

我知道这一点。

I know that.

而且，想想看，因为我感到非常快乐，因为和暗恋对象在一起是多么快乐。

Also, think too because I'm feeling so joyful because how joyful it is to be around a crush.

还有什么比这更好的呢？

What's better?

但这一点，我觉得我其实已经在做了。

But this, I actually think I already do.

然而，从房间另一头微笑呢？

However, smiling from across the room?

没有。

No.

但在他们身边微笑呢？

But smiling around them?

是的。

Yes.

事实上，对于我目前这个特别的暗恋对象，即使他离得很远并且没有看我，我在他身边时也停不下来地微笑和大笑。

In fact, with this particular crush that I have right now, I can't stop smiling and laughing when I'm around him, even though he's far away and is not looking.

好的。

Okay.

接下来，使用肢体语言。

Next, use body language.

即使你还没开口，仅凭肢体语言也能传达很多信息。

Even if you haven't opened your mouth, you can say a great deal by just using your body language.

微笑和眼神交流是其中的一部分，但还有一些其他事情你需要留意。

Smiling and eye contact are part of this, but there are a few other things you should be aware of.

不要交叉双臂。

Don't cross your arms.

哦，你看，这是我一个坏习惯。

Oh, see, that's a bad habit I have.

当我紧张时，我会交叉双臂。

When I get nervous, I do cross my arms.

很多时候，当我靠近喜欢的人时，内心会有点不安，就会下意识地交叉双臂。

And a lot of times when I'm around a crush, I will sometimes get a bit agitated inside, and I will cross my arms out of instinct.

我知道自己会这样，所以这是需要留意的一点。

I know that I do that, so that's something to consider.

而且，别人以前也给过我建议。

And, you know, people have given me advice before.

他们说：‘艾玛，你要放松一点。’

They're like, Emma, just be open.

要轻松一点。

Be light.

我是个非常紧张的人，所以这对我来说很难。

And I'm a very tense person, so that's hard for me.

接下来，它说要甩头发。

Next, it says flip your hair.

这对我没用，因为我头发不多。

Well, that is not gonna work for me because I don't have much.

接下来，玩弄你的首饰，比如项链。

And next, play with your jewelry, such as a necklace.

我平时不太戴项链，但好吧。

I don't really wear necklaces a lot, but, yeah, okay.

我需要更加开放。

I just need to be more open.

我需要拥有更开放、更放松的能量。

I need to have a more open, loose energy.

在这些时刻，我需要保持警觉且放松。

I need to be mindful and loose in these moments.

好吧。

Okay.

接下来，找一些微妙的方式让自己出现在他面前。

Next, Find subtle ways to put yourself in his path.

这其实是我的强项。

This is something I'm actually better at.

比如，我很擅长这个，因为我知道，我擅长布局。

Like, I'm good at that because I'm, you know, like, I'm good at the plot.

我可以提前规划。

I can plan ahead.

我是个计划控。

I'm a planner.

我喜欢规划事情。

I love planning things.

我喜欢我的谷歌日历。

I love my Google Calendar.

我喜欢我的纸质计划本。

I love my paper planner.

我使用谷歌日历和纸质计划本。

I use a Google Calendar and a paper planner.

这足以说明我有多喜欢规划。

That's how much I love planning.

所以对我来说，规划一次互动、规划一次偶遇，不是那种让人不舒服的方式，而是想着，哦，他正朝这边走。

So planning an interaction for me, planning a run-in, you know, not in a creepy way, but being like, Oh, he's walking this way.

那我也往那边走吧。

Maybe I'll walk that way too.

比如，我会故意和他碰面。

Like, I'll cross path.

这部分我能做到。

I can do that part.

但一旦真的遇到他，我就盯着地板。

But then once I'm in the moment, I'm looking at the floor.

我一直在看地板。

I am looking at the floor.

好的。

Okay.

接下来，要打扮得最好看。

Next, look your best.

当你喜欢的人在身边时，通过让自己看起来最棒来增强自信。

Give yourself an added boost of confidence by looking your very best whenever your crush is around.

这并不意味着要穿迷你裙、高跟鞋和涂厚厚的眼线。

This doesn't mean tiny skirts, high heels, and lashings of mascara.

这只是意味着你要对自己的外表感到自豪，保持整洁得体的装扮。

It just means you should take some pride in your appearance by being well groomed and neatly dressed.

我觉得这是很好的建议，实际上我认为我就是这样做的。

I think this is good advice, and I actually think this is something that I do.

我现在比以往任何时候都更喜欢让自己看起来整齐、整洁、干净。

I, now more than ever in my life, like to feel put together, well groomed, clean.

这让我感觉很好。

It makes me feel good.

这确实能提升自信。

It definitely helps with confidence.

显然还不够，但想想看，如果我觉得自己不可爱又很紧张呢？

Clearly, not enough, but like, imagine if I didn't feel cute and I was nervous.

你知道的。

You know?

这确实有帮助，但现在的我并不需要这样的建议。

This definitely helps, but it's not really advice I need right now.

接下来，考虑主动出击。

Next, consider making the first move.

好吧。

Okay.

这确实是个问题，因为我显然不擅长这个。

Well, that's an issue because I clearly am not good at that.

所以告诉我该怎么做。

So tell me how to do that.

我不知道该怎么做到。

I don't know how to do that.

这正是我们在这里的原因。

That's why we're here.

好吧。

Okay.

接下来，当面调情。

Next, flirting in person.

好吧。

Okay.

现在我们终于说到重点了。

Now we're getting into it.

对吧？

Right?

你看，以我目前的状况、我的象征性处境、导致我们来到这里的处境、引发这种反思的处境来说。

See, with my current situation, my symbolic situation, the situation that got us here, the situation that is causing this reflection.

对吧？

Right?

我们连那儿都还没到呢。

We're not even there yet.

我们可能永远都到不了，说实话。

We're and we might even never we might never be there, to be honest.

我可能这辈子都永远不会跟这个男人说一句话。

I I might never I might go my entire life and never ever speak to this man.

但最终，我总会跟某人当面调情的，希望很快就能实现。

But eventually, will be flirting with somebody in person, hopefully soon.

也许明天吧。

Maybe tomorrow.

谁知道呢？

Who knows?

好吧。

Okay.

开始说话，上面这么说。

Start talking, it says.

推动情况发展、更坦率地调情的最佳方式之一，就是与你暗恋的人展开对话。

One of the best ways to move the situation along and flirt more openly is to get involved in a conversation with your crush.

找机会和他聊聊你们的共同点，无论是学业还是最近发生的事件。

Find an opportunity to chat him up about something you have in common, whether it's schoolwork or a recent event.

以一个问题开场，尽量避免那些只需用‘是’或‘不是’就能回答的问题。

Open with a question, with a note to try to avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

转而谈论他。

Transition to talking about him.

人们都喜欢谈论自己。

People love to talk about themselves.

多使用他的名字。

And use his name a lot.

事实是，人们在对话中听到自己的名字会感到特别愉快。

It's a fact that people love to hear their own name in a conversation.

你看，我纠结的是，我从来不想让对方明显感觉到我在刻意搭话。

See, the thing that I I struggle with is I never wanna feel I I never want it to be obvious to the other person that I'm, like, trying to start a conversation.

所以我希望这一切能自然发生，因为当一个人只是为了开场而抛出一个空洞的问题时，那太明显了，我从不想这么做，因为我从不想过早暴露我的意图。

And so I want it to happen naturally because it's so obvious when someone's coming up with a question that's just kind of empty for the sake of starting conversation, and I never wanna do that because I never wanna reveal my intentions too soon.

我总是希望如此，因为也许和他们聊完之后，我发现我并不喜欢他们。

I always want to because maybe I don't like them after talking to them.

对吧？

Right?

比如，你不想在还不了解对方性格的时候，一上来就开始调情。

Like, you don't want to start flirting right off the bat before you know their personality.

万一你开始聊天后，发现其实根本没兴趣，也不想表现得暧昧呢？

What if you start talking, you're like, oh, I actually don't think I'm interested at all, and I don't want to be flirty.

我可能只是想和这个人保持友好而已。

I just maybe would want to be friendly with this person.

所以我希望对话能自然出现，但你又不能强行制造这种自然。

So I would I I want conversation to come up naturally, but you can't, like, you can't force that.

但这也只是我不愿主动开启对话的借口吗？

But also, is this just an excuse for me to not start conversation?

也许我得聪明一点，想想如何自然地开启对话，让它看起来真正随意，但实际上却是有计划的，我想。

Like, maybe I just have to be smart and think of how to naturally start a conversation in a way that feels truly organic but is actually kind of plotted, I guess.

好吧。

Okay.

接下来，微笑和大笑。

Next, smile and laugh.

我知道。

I know.

你们已经告诉过我了。

You guys already told me this.

在对话中一直微笑和大笑，表明你在对方身边感到自在，更重要的是，你喜欢听他说话。

Smiling and laughing throughout your conversation shows that you're comfortable around your crush, and more than that, you enjoy listening to him talk.

你看，我觉得一旦我和一个男生进入对话状态，微笑和大笑就很容易了。

See, I feel like once I'm at a point where I'm in a conversation with guy, like smiling and laughing is easy.

这就是我的本性。

That's just who I am.

我喜欢在对话中微笑和大笑，如果微笑和大笑是合适的的话。

I love to smile and laugh in a conversation, if smiling and laughing makes sense.

接下来，突破身体接触的界限。

Next, break the touch barrier.

好的。

Okay.

你看，现在我得先确定这个人也对我有好感。

See, now getting ahead to like, things have to we have to know that this person likes me back.

调情必须很明显。

The flirting has to be obvious.

否则，对我来说就像我很害怕。

Otherwise, this to me is like I'm scared.

说话时轻轻碰一下他的前臂。

Touch his forearm lightly while you're talking.

随意把手或手肘放在他的肩膀上。

Casually put a hand or elbow on his shoulder.

哦，这感觉有点……嗯，如果你是面对面站着，把手放在肩膀上，可能有点奇怪，但如果你并肩站着，就没那么奇怪了。

Oh, that feels a little well, I guess if if you're, like, facing if you're, like, face to face and you, like, put a hand on the shoulder, that's a little but if you're, like, standing side by side, maybe not as weird.

看，就是这样，没错。

See, like, that's yeah.

好的。

Okay.

一起走路时，不小心靠到他身上。

Accidentally lean into him if you're walking together.

帮他整理一下衣领。

Straighten his collar.

天啊。

Oh my god.

看，到这个时候，如果我帮他整理衣领，那我们就是在约会了。

See, at that point, if I'm straightening up a collar, we're dating.

除非我和一个男生关系特别好，而且想稍微调情一下，也许吧。

Unless I'm, like, really if I was, like, really good friends with a guy and I wanted to flirt a little, maybe.

我觉得打破肢体接触的界限很重要。

I do think that breaking the touch barrier, it is important.

我觉得这其实是在传递一种信号，嘿。

I do think it kinda like it sends a signal like, hey.

你懂的？

You know?

它确实能推动进展，但我对此感到紧张。

It does move things along a little, but I'm nervous about it.

但对我来说，关键只是要以一种我对待朋友的方式去做。

But I think the key to it for me is just gonna be like, I just need to do it in a way where, like, I would do this with a friend.

我会对任何人这么做。

I would do that with anyone.

你懂的？

You know?

但在这种情境下，也许还带点调情的意味。

But within the context of like, oh, but maybe there's a little bit of flirtiness too.

这可能会显得更有调情的味道。

It could read more flirty.

但我觉得这对我来说才是关键。

But I think that's gonna be the key for me.

因为我实际上并不是一个很喜欢肢体接触的人，除非是和我最好的朋友。

Because I'm actually not a super touchy person unless it's, like, with my best, best friends.

我不觉得自己是个喜欢肢体接触的人。

I'm I wouldn't consider myself to be a touchy person.

但我会记住这一点，因为我确实觉得这有帮助。

But I'm gonna keep it in mind because I do think it helps.

接下来，注意你的身体姿态。

Next, draw attention to your body.

伙计们，这太疯狂了。

Guys this is crazy.

男人是视觉动物，一点点若隐若现的肌肤最能吸引他们。

Guys are visual creatures, so nothing gets them like a sneaky flash of flesh here and there.

时不时地 subtly 引发对你的身体的关注，会让他心跳加速，让他意识到自己有多喜欢你。

Subtly drawing attention to your body every now and then will get his heart racing and help him realize how much he likes you.

揉揉你的肩膀。

Rub your shoulder.

问问他你觉得该不该去穿肚脐环。

Ask if you should get your belly button pierced.

舔舔你的嘴唇。

Lick your lips.

小心别在这里做得太过火。

Be careful not to overdo things here.

吸引对身体的关注效果很好，但前提是必须适度。

Drawing attention to your body can work very well, but only if it's used in moderation.

明白吗？

K?

你看，我对这个感觉有点怪。

See, I feel weird about this one.

这个让我有点害怕。

Like, this one scares me.

我觉得这是因为我在性方面缺乏自信。

And I think it's because I lack confidence in, like, a sexual way.

就像，我在‘性感’这件事上有一种冒名顶替综合症。

Like, I I have, like, impostor syndrome with being, like, sexy.

你懂吗？

You know?

这说不通，因为我根本愿意穿性感的衣服。

And it doesn't make any sense because, like, I'm so down to, like, wear a sexy outfit.

但对我来说，我觉得这可能算件性感的衣服，可我穿的时候却对自己的性感感到冒名顶替综合症。

But then, like, to me, I'm like, this might be a sexy outfit, but, like, I have impostor syndrome about being sexy in the outfit.

这说得通吗？

Does that make sense?

就像，即使我穿着性感的衣服，我也感觉不到自己性感。

Like, I even though I'm wearing the sexy outfit and I feel sexy or no.

好吧，我并不觉得自己性感。

Well, I don't feel sexy.

这就是问题所在。

That's the problem.

但即使我穿着这件性感的衣服，即使每个人都有自己的性感方式，我仍然有冒名顶替综合症，觉得自己不够性感。

But even though I'm maybe in this sexy outfit, even though everyone is sexy in their own way, I have impostor syndrome and feel like I am not.

我有趣、搞笑、外向、爱玩，但我并不性感。

I'm funny, and I'm silly, and I'm outgoing, and I'm playful, but I'm not sexy.

这是个问题。

That's an issue.

这是深层次的问题。

That's deep down.

这事儿得让艾玛去找个心理咨询师了。

That's like Emma needs to call a therapist for that one.

这个问题深藏在心底。

That one is deep in the gut.

我们得把这个问题挖出来。

We're gonna have to get that one out.

我们得吃点泻药才能把这个问题排出去。

We're gonna have to take a laxative to get that one out.

你懂的？

You know?

我们得去做个结肠镜检查，真正把摄像头伸进去看看，到底有什么东西卡在那里？

We're gonna have to it's we're gonna have to get a colonoscopy and really get the camera up there to see, like, what's lodged up in there?

这样挺好。

This is okay.

我有点过头了。

I took this all too far.

但这事我得在个人层面上好好面对。

But that's something I need to address on a personal level.

所以让我明天先记一下这件事，看看我会有什么发现。

So let me just go ahead and journal about that tomorrow, and we'll see what I discover.

好的。

Okay.

继续。

Moving on.

和他跳舞。

Dance with him.

呃。

Ew.

这是我最大的恐惧。

This is my biggest fear.

它说，和一个男人跳舞是一种轻松展示你对他有兴趣的方式，又不会显得太认真。

It says dancing with a guy is a fun way to show him that you're into him without being too serious.

你看，当你不喝酒的时候，这真的很棘手。

See, this is tough when you don't drink.

对吧？

Right?

比如，在酒吧、小酒馆，或者更常见的是在俱乐部里，和一个男生喝得酩酊大醉地跳舞。

Like, dancing with a guy blackout at a bar, at a well, I guess more so at a club.

你知道的？

You know?

这是一种情况。

That's one thing.

清醒时跳舞，是可能的，但更难一些。

Doing it sober, it's possible, but it's tougher.

我不是不愿意跳舞。

Not that I'm not down to dance.

现在，我终于到了一个可以出去跳舞、享受乐趣、不在乎别人眼光的阶段。

Like, I'm at a point in my life now finally where I can go out and dance and have fun and not care.

以前我总会有点尴尬。

You know, I used to get kind of embarrassed.

但，是啊，我不确定。

But, yeah, I don't know.

我也不太去那些经常跳舞的地方。

I also don't really go out to places where dancing happens a lot.

我很少去俱乐部。

I'm not going to the club very often.

你知道的？

You know?

我也不太常去那种派对。

I'm not really going to parties like that very often.

所以这种情况可能发生，但可能性不大。

So there's a chance that this could happen, but probably not.

好吧。

Okay.

继续。

Moving on.

夸他一下。

Pay him a compliment.

别指望 compliments 只能单向传递。

Don't expect the compliments to go one way.

男生也喜欢被夸奖。

Guys love to be complimented too.

让你的暗恋对象感到被关注和被欣赏，能让他知道你对他这个人感兴趣，并且留意着他重要的事情。

Making your crush feel noticed and appreciated shows him that you're interested in him as a person and that you're paying attention to what's important.

看，这其实挺简单的。

See, that's easy enough.

但关键是，这甚至根本不算调情。

But see, the key to that is that's not even really flirting.

我的意思是，假如我说，哇。

I mean, I guess if I was like, wow.

你的头发看起来太棒了。

Like, your hair looks amazing.

但问题是，我是个非常善于赞美别人的人。

But the problem is I'm a very complimentary person.

我喜欢赞美别人。

I love complimenting people.

我总会赞美别人，尤其是当我觉得他们值得被赞美时。

I always will compliment people, especially if I feel like it's due.

但即使不值得，有时候我也只是单纯地想让人感觉开心。

But even if not, sometimes I'll just I love I want to make people feel good.

即使，比如说好吧。

Even if, say okay.

我来举个例子。

Like, I'll give an example of that.

比如，即使有人化了我不喜欢的妆容，不是我喜欢的风格。

Like, even if somebody did their makeup in a way that maybe I don't like, like it's not my style.

对吧？

Right?

如果我能看出他们化妆很用心，我会说：‘你今晚的妆容太棒了。’

If I can tell that they put effort into their makeup, I'll say, Your makeup looks incredible tonight.

也许这不符合我的审美，但只要我能看出某人付出了努力，我就会称赞，因为我觉得这值得被称赞。

It might not be my taste, but if I can tell somebody put effort into something, I will compliment it because I think that that deserves a compliment.

我是一个非常善于赞美他人的人。

I am a very complimentary person.

所以这并不是说，嗯，这对我来说很容易，但这是因为我会赞美任何人。

So this isn't like, yeah, this is easy for me, but that's because I would compliment literally anyone.

这仅仅是我的天性。

So this is just my nature.

接下来，幽默地调侃他。

Next, playfully tease him.

如果使用得当，一些轻松的调侃是一种很好的调情技巧。

Some playful teasing can be a great flirting technique if used correctly.

调侃可以营造亲密感，并让对方知道你有幽默感。

Teasing can create a sense of intimacy and show the guy that you have a sense of humor.

不过要提前提醒一下。

Just be warned.

如果你开别人的玩笑，就得能承受别人回敬你。

If you give it, you need to be able to take it.

我对这个没问题。

I'm good with this.

关于调侃，我觉得我挺擅长的。

The teasing, I'm I'm good at, I think.

嗯，这挺有意思的。

Well, it's interesting.

对我来说，调侃的感觉有点像是幼稚，但也许也不是。

The teasing vibe to me feels I was gonna say it feels kind of immature, but maybe not.

也许不是。

Maybe not.

我喜欢调侃，因为它在某种程度上带着一种保护性。

I like the teasing because it's kind of protective in a way.

你懂我的意思吧？

You know what I mean?

这不算脆弱。

It's not vulnerable.

我害怕那些脆弱的东西。

I'm scared of the vulnerable stuff.

这对我来说没那么可怕。

This is not as scary to me.

我真想逗逗我的暗恋对象。

I would love to tease my crush.

很简单。

Easy.

你知道的。

You know?

如果我到了那一步的话。

If I'm at that point.

这就像碰那条吓人的手臂，因为那会更显脆弱。

It's like touching the arm that's scary because that's a little bit more vulnerable.

捉弄某人并不一定意味着你在表达喜欢他们。

Teasing somebody is not necessarily, like, saying that you like them.

恰恰相反，它其实是完全相反的意思。

If anything, it's, like, really the opposite.

所以对我来说，这并不难。

And so that's not that hard for me.

至于能否承受，我完全可以承受。

And when it comes to, like, being able to take it, I can take it.

事实上，对我来说，我特别喜欢被男生捉弄。

In fact, I actually for me, I love being teased by a guy.

我喜欢这种打趣互动。

I love that kind of banter.

我的意思是，当然，这也有个限度。

I mean, obviously, there's like a limit.

对吧？

Right?

你不想只是被调侃。

Like, you don't wanna only get teased.

你也希望得到一些赞美。

You want also to get a compliment too.

但我喜欢一点调侃。

But I like a little teasing.

事实上，我觉得我需要这种互逗。

In fact, I think I need that kind of banter.

我需要调侃和幽默，才能感到——用个不太恰当的词——有感觉。

Like, I need teasing and, like, funny in order to feel, for the lack of a better word, aroused.

但这种感觉对我来说挺关键的。

But, like, that is kinda crucial for me.

这些年我明白了，我和男生相处时得放得开，不然我就完全不在状态。

I've learned over the years, like, I need to be silly with the boy or else, yeah, it's like I'm not there.

你知道的吧？

You know?

说实话，我没法在性方面投入。

Like, I can't be there sexually, honestly.

所以我分享得太多了吗？

So am I sharing too much?

我不知道。

I don't know.

好吧。

Okay.

继续吧。

Moving on.

让他意犹未尽。

Leave him wanting more.

别让对话拖得太久，以免他有时间感到无聊或分心。

Don't let the conversation drag on so long that he has time to get bored or distracted.

相反，趁他还对你感兴趣时离开，这样他会迫不及待想再见到你。

Instead, walk away while he's still interested so that he can't wait to see you again.

这对我来说很容易，因为我对在对话中逗留过久非常敏感。

This is easy for me because I am so hyper aware of overstaying my welcome in a conversation.

我总是不断给对方台阶下，因为我从不希望任何人觉得：天啊，我正在和艾玛聊天，但我已经不想再和艾玛聊了。

Like, I'm constantly giving people an out because I never want anyone to feel like, oh my god, I'm talking to Emma, and I don't want to talk to Emma anymore.

你知道吗？

You know?

我甚至会说一些类似这样的话：我记不得自己什么时候说过这种话，但我不排除我会说类似‘顺便说一句，你没必要再和我聊天了’这样的话。

I'll even say shit like I can't remember a time where I've said this, but it's not out of the realm of possibility that I would say something along the lines of, You don't need to talk to me anymore, by the way.

你可以去转一圈。

You can do a lap.

别让我把你困住。

Don't let me hold you hostage.

我会这么说的。

I would say that.

现在问题是。

Now here's the thing.

这是个复杂的问题。

That's a complicated thing.

对吧？

Right?

因为如果我说我困住你了，我本可以放你走。

Because it's like, if I'm like, I'm holding you hostage, I can let you go.

比如，如果我说了这句话，这真的能给他们一个脱身的理由吗？

Like, if I say that, does that really give them an out?

他们能怎么办呢？

Like, they're still kind of what are they gonna do?

说，嗯，你这么一提，我这就走了。

Say, yeah, you know, now that you mentioned it, I'm out of here.

我甚至会努力，我真的尽量不长时间留在对话里。

Like, and I'll even try like, I I really try to not stay in conversations for too long either.

我会尽量在对话一慢下来就离开，为了大家好。

I will try to, like the second it starts to slow down, I'm out, for everyone's sake.

好的。

Okay.

接下来，我们谈谈通过短信调情。

Next, we have flirting over text.

好的。

Okay.

所以事情是这样的。

So here's the thing.

通过短信调情，没问题。

Flirting over text, no problem.

我甚至都不用看建议。

I don't even need to read the advice.

实际上，也许我还是看一下吧。

Actually, maybe I will.

我们快速浏览一下。

We'll skim it.

我们快速浏览一下，看看有没有我不了解的内容。

We'll skim it and see if there's something I don't already know.

但文字 flirting 很简单，因为你有时间思考。

But flirting over text is easy because you have time to think.

这很容易。

It's easy.

你可以打电话问朋友。

You can like phone a friend.

你知道，我可以把截图发到我的群聊里，问我那两个最好的朋友，我该怎么回？

You know, I can text a screenshot into my group chat with my two best friends, and be like, what do I say?

然后，搞定。

And then boom.

这又回到了我之前提到的，需要一个搭讪伙伴。

And that goes back to, like, needing a wingman, as I mentioned earlier.

比如，当我有帮助、有后盾的时候，撩拨就不是问题。

Like, when I have help, when I back up, flirting's no problem.

问题是我一个人的时候。

It's when I'm alone.

我们来看看它关于通过短信撩拨有什么说法。

Let's see what it has to say about flirting over text.

我很好奇。

I'm curious.

第一条建议：不小心给他发条短信。

First piece of advice, text him accidentally.

如果你不确定如何开启一段短信对话，一个不错的策略是假装你把他当成别人，比如你最好的朋友，给他发消息。

If you're not sure how to get a text conversation going, one good tactic is to text him pretending you think he's someone else, like your best friend.

不。

No.

我绝对不会这么做。

I would never do that.

我不喜欢玩套路。

I don't like games.

如果我想给某人发消息，我想带着明确的目的去发。

If I wanna text somebody, I wanna do it with intention.

我想给某人发消息，然后说：你知道吗？

I wanna text somebody and be like, you know what?

嗨。

Hi.

嘿。

Hey.

或者我想，我想给他们发点什么。

Or I wanna like, like, I'll send them something.

我会说：天哪。

I'll be like, oh my god.

想到你了。

Thought of you.

哈哈。

LOL.

我不会故意假装不小心发消息给某人。

I'm not gonna, like, fake accidentally text somebody.

对我来说，那很奇怪。

That to me is, like, weird.

我不喜欢那样。

I don't like that.

那真的很奇怪。

That's, like, weird.

好吧。

Okay.

接下来，别太无聊。

Next, don't be boring.

无聊的短信毫无意义。

Boring text messages are pointless.

发一些像‘在干嘛’或者‘明天天气怎么样’这样的消息。

Texting things like what's up or what's the weather forecast for tomorrow.

有人说过这种话吗？

Has anyone ever said that?

如果真有人说过这种话，他们需要读一读这篇文章。

If anyone has ever said that, they need they need to be reading this article.

而且他们也许确实读了。

And they maybe they are.

等等。

Wait.

一个他们觉得有趣的短信例子是：快帮我选一下。

An example of a text that's interesting, that they think is interesting is, quickly, help me choose.

甜甜圈还是巧克力松饼？

Doughnut or chocolate muffin?

如果有人想知道我的答案，我可能会选甜甜圈，但这很奇怪。

If anyone wants to know my answer, I would probably choose a doughnut, but that's weird.