德里克·西弗斯：我是个慢思考者

当朋友对我说些有趣的事情时，我通常当下不会有反应，直到很久之后才回过味来。当有人问我一个深刻的问题，我会说不知道。但第二天，我就能给出答案。在辩论或遭受攻击时，我往往令人失望——当场除了说句‘有道理’外，我根本无话可说。

When a friend says something interesting to me, I usually don't have a reaction until much later. When someone asks me a deep question, I say, I don't know. The next day, I have an answer. I'm a disappointing person to try to debate or attack. I just have nothing to say in the moment, except maybe good point.

几天后经过反复思考，我才能给出回应。这或许让我看起来当场很蠢，但我不介意。我本就不想赢得什么辩论。事实上，告诉你个秘密：每当有人想邀请我上节目访谈时，我都会要求他们提前一周把问题发给我。

Then a few days later, after thinking about it a lot, I have a response. This probably makes me look stupid in the moment, but I don't mind. I'm not trying to win any debates. In fact, I'll tell you a secret. When someone wants to interview me for their show, I ask them to send me some questions a week in advance.

我会花几个小时从不同角度写下各种答案，再选出最有趣的那个。这样在直播对话时，我就能让回答听起来像是即兴发挥。人们总说第一反应最真实，但我不同意——你的第一反应往往已经过时：要么是早就想好、用来代替思考的现成答案，要么只是对过往经历的膝跳式情绪反应。

I spend hours writing down answers from different perspectives before choosing the most interesting one. Then when we're in a live conversation, I try to make my answers sound spontaneous. People say that your first reaction is the most honest, but I disagree. Your first reaction is usually outdated. Either it's an answer you came up with long ago and now use instead of thinking, or it's a knee jerk emotional response to something in your past.

当你像我这样减少冲动、更加审慎时，确实会给别人带来些许不便。但这没关系。别人提问时，你没必要立即回答。完全可以说‘我不知道’，等深思熟虑后再回应。世事本该如此。

When you're less impulsive and more deliberate like this, it can be a little inconvenient for other people. But that's okay. Someone asks you a question, you don't need to answer. You can say, I don't know, and take your time to answer after thinking. Things happen.

别人期待你立即回应。但你可以说‘走着瞧’。或许，通过以身作则，你还能让他们明白：他们同样可以这样做。

Someone expects you to respond. But you can say, we'll see. And maybe, through example, you can show them that they can do the same.