奥德丽娜·帕特里奇谈芬太尼、单亲妈妈约会与珠宝盗窃案

就像，你

Like, you

知道吗？

know?

对吧。

Right.

我不知道。

I don't know.

就是，就是这样。

It's like It's It's it is.

自从我侄女一年前去世后

And then ever since my niece died a year ago

嗯。

Yeah.

所以每次我离开，即使只是送基拉去学校，她都会想，如果你回不来了怎么办？

So every time I leave, even when I drop Keira at school, she has like, what if you don't come back?

如果你们

What if you

不回来怎么办？

don't come back?

天哪。

Oh my god.

所以每天我送她去学校时，都要亲吻她的嘴唇、额头，再抱抱她。

So every day when I drop her at school, it's like a kiss on the lips, a kiss on the head, and a hug.

而且，我们每天都必须这么做，如果不做，她就会在学校哭。

And, like, we have to do that every single day, and if we don't do it, it like, she cries at school.

所以你是怎么跟

So it's How did you talk to

她谈这件事的？

her about that?

对吧？

Right?

因为我一直很好奇，你

Because that that I'm always curious, you

知道，嗯。

know Yeah.

因为孩子嘛，你知道，在CHOC医院，医院里有一位女士，Sadie在楼上。

Because kids I just you know, at CHOC hospital, they had a lady in the hospital, and Sadie was upstairs.

她下来了，因为有八个表亲来看她，天哪。

And she came down because there's eight cousins that looked up her and let my god.

她是最大的吗？

Was she the oldest?

是的。

Yeah.

哦。

Oh.

所以他们有很多问题不明白，于是他们把所有孩子带到房间，给他们玩具玩、彩笔涂色，还给他们读了一本关于发生了什么事的书，并向他们做了解释。

And so they had a lot of questions they didn't understand, and so they kind of took all the kids to the room and gave them toys to play and things to color with and read them a book about what was going on and kind of explained it to them.

基拉知道一点点，因为她上的是私立基督教学校。

Keira kind of knew a little bit because she goes to a private Christian school.

所以她的老师和牧师去了班级，跟孩子们谈了死亡和人死后会发生什么，小孩子们提出了很多问题。

So her teacher and the pastor went to the class and kind of talked about death and what happens when you die, and all the little kids had so many questions.

这打开了很多话题，可以回答所有这些问题。

And so it opened a lot of doors to, like, just to answer all those questions.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我很感激这一点。

And so I'm grateful for that.

她得到了这样的支持。

She had that support.

我只是试着既诚实又含糊其辞，你知道吗？

And I just I was trying to be honest but vague, you know?

比如，我

Like, I

不想

don't want

她害怕，但现在这种‘如果你不回来怎么办？’的创伤感出现了。

her to be scared, but now it's kinda like that trauma of what if you don't come back?

或者我们现在正在经历的，是的。

Or now we're going through can go Yeah.

而且再也回不来了。

And not come back physically.

嗯。

Mhmm.

真是个概念。

What a concept.

所以她当时六岁。

And so she would have been six.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yeah.

她当时六岁。

She was six.

至于萨迪，她当时十四、十五岁。

And with Sadie, it's just she was 14, 15.

我认为现在对于我们这些父母来说，我们都正在经历一种前所未有的事情，那就是社交媒体，它影响着心理健康，尤其是Snapchat。

And I think now for us parents, we're all going through something that no one's ever went through before, which is social media, which affects mental, you know, mental illness and especially Snapchat.

比如，现在所有的青少年，我不知道你怎么样，但当我上高中时，我们会去In N Out见面，觉得那就是我们跟着人去派对的地方。

Like, all the teenagers now, I don't know about you, but when I was in high school, we would meet at In N Out and just feel like that's where we would follow the person to the party.

就像。

Like

对。

Right.

周五晚上七点，在In N Out见面。

Friday night, 07:00, meet at In N Out.

我们会开车去，是的。

And we'll drive yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

我记得跟萨德聊过，她说：‘不，阿姨。’

Now, you know, I remember talking to Saeed, and she's like, no auntie.

没人发短信。

No one texts.

每个人都用Snapchat。

Like, everybody's on Snapchat.

所以，现在他们称之为‘渠道’。

And so, you know, and now there's plugs, they call them.

他们不是毒贩，而是‘渠道’，是专门针对这些高中生的掠食者，给他们提供各种选择。

They're not dealers, but they're plugs that are predators that prey on these high school kids and give them these menus.

我接触过很多家长，他们的孩子因芬太尼而去世，其中一个女儿即将上大学。

And I've I've talked to so many parents that have kids that have died of this fentanyl, where the one daughter was going to college.

从Snapchat上，她通过朋友介绍信任了一个中间人，买了安非他明来熬夜学习，结果死了。

And from Snapchat, there was a plug that had a menu that she trusted through other friends, and she got Adderall to stay up and study, and she died.

另一个孩子也是从Snapchat上的菜单买了掺了东西的大麻软糖，去参加派对时死了。

Another kid died of get from Snapchat again on the menu getting, weed gummies that were laced before he went to a party.

不。

No.

所以这无处不在，我觉得这一代人正被针对。

So it's everywhere, and I feel like that generation is being targeted.

他们是。

They are.

他们是。

They are.

他说

And he goes

听到这些故事。

hearing these stories.

扭曲而可怕。

And twisted and frightening.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

而且所有

And all

只需要几分钟，你就死了，直接脑死亡。

it takes, it's like minutes, and you're just dead, like brain dead.

你没了。

You're gone.

哦。

Oh.

我觉得这些孩子并不明白。

And I think these kids don't understand.

我看过一部关于这些高中生的纪录片，他们只是说：不。

And I've seen this documentary about these high school kids, and they're just like, no.

我们不想喝啤酒。

We don't want a beer.

那太无聊了。

Like, that's boring.

我们想要能让我们有感觉的东西。

We want something that makes us feel.

我们想要感受些什么。

We wanna feel something.

那曾经那种喝科罗娜、第一次尝试的感觉去哪儿了？

And it's like, what happened to having a corona and, like, trying for the first time?

就像你说的，没错。

Like You're like, yeah.

就是最基本的东西。

The basics.

是的。

Yeah.

但我的意思是，我读过很多不同的故事，一直在联系其他家长。

But, I mean, there's so many different stories that I've read, and I've just been reaching out to other parents.

你知道，我妹妹还在康复中。

And, you know, my sister is healing still.

我的意思是

I mean

这会是哥哥一直要面对的吗？

Will that be for the rest of brother?

孩子们？

Kids?

你妹妹？

Your sister?

她有两个儿子，所以她主要关注他们，他们对此很难接受。

She has two boys, so she's kind of focusing on them, and they took it hard.

这个过程真的很难，我觉得很多没有亲身经历的人会觉得这没什么大不了的，直到他们身边的人遭遇了这种情况。

It's just the process is really hard, and I think a lot of people who are not affected by that, it's, like, not a big deal to them until someone close to them goes through it.

当然。

Of course.

是的。

Yeah.

Exactly 就是这样。

That's exactly what it is.

这就像那种事情，我能感同身受，因为我爸爸的离世方式，是你平时只在新闻里听说的那种事。

It's it's like one of those things, and I can relate in a sense because the way my dad died was something that you only think happens on the news.

是的。

Yeah.

对吧？

Right?

一旦这种事发生在你家里，嗯。

And once that comes into your home Mhmm.

你会觉得，哦，这并不是遥不可及的事。

And you're like, oh, that's not just out there.

这并不是什么只发生在别人身上的怪物，这些事情都是真实的。

That's not this, like, boogie monster that just happens to other people, that these things are real.

每个人的生活都会因此改变。

Everybody's life changes

是的。

Yeah.

从那一刻起。

From that.

但我觉得，人们完全忽视了这种事也可能发生在你身上。

But I think that there's such, like, an ignorance to the fact that it could be you.

自杀也是同样的道理。

It's the same with suicide.

嗯。

Mhmm.

人们总是说，哦，我知道有人会这么做。

Like, people are like, oh, I know people do that.

但直到这件事发生在你家里，或影响到你的生活，别人才能真正理解。

But until it comes into your home, or until your life, nobody can comprehend that.

是的。

Yeah.

而且这是真实的。

And it's real.

我知道。

I know.

还有孩子，像我们小时候，他们总说，小心点。

And kids too, like, when we were young, they were like, oh, be careful.

别吸毒。

Like, don't do drugs.

你可能会变成植物人之类的。

Like, you can stay a vegetable or whatever.

但我们还是做了。

And we still did it.

是啊。

Yeah.

我的意思是，我只代表我自己说。

I mean, I will speak for myself.

我还是做了。

I still did it.

是啊。

Yeah.

你懂的？

You know?

每个人都会在这里那里尝试一下，但就连那些想好好学习的孩子，一旦陷入毒品的泥潭，就很难脱身了。

It just takes every you're gonna experiment here and there, but it's like even kids that are wanting to study or they get in a cracks or a crack or whatever.

比如，他们是为了止痛才需要它。

Like, they need it for pain.

就是这样。

It's like Right.

我跟我妹妹刚聊到这个概念，你们从小就要教孩子：不要接受陌生人给的糖果。

It's almost my sister and I were talking about this concept that you teach your kids at a young age, like, don't take candy from strangers.

对。

Right.

道理是一样的。

It's like the same thing.

不要接受陌生人甚至朋友给的药片或毒品。

Don't take pills or drugs or anything from strangers or even friends.

他们可能也是从陌生人那里得来的。

They may have gotten it from a stranger.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

对，没错。

That Yeah.

就是这样。

Has that.

然后，是不是还有像 Snapchat 那样的元素，所有内容都会消失？

And then is there, like, the Snapchat element to it where everything disappears?

所以无法追踪吗？

So there's no tracing?

确实无法追踪。

There's no tracing.

就像所有内容都会消失一样。

Like, everything disappears.

所以我知道上周新闻里有个大事件，好像是关于 Snapchat，还有 Meta 的所有人，还有 Twitter，他们都在开庭，我不太清楚具体是什么情况。

So I know on the news last week, there was a big, like, a court like, Snapchat, I think, all the meta people, like, Twitter, they were all having I don't know what it was exactly.

我看了部分报道，但都是这些父母和人们在说：你们必须帮帮我们，帮帮下一代。

I watched some of it, but it's just all these parents and people that are just saying, like, you have to, like, help us, like, help the future.

这些孩子因为社交媒体而感到抑郁，或者因为所有滤镜而觉得自己不够好，这几乎是不可避免的，但责任并不完全在 Snapchat 或社交媒体身上。

These kids are it's just social media is making them depressed or not feel good enough with all the filters, and it's just inevitable, and it's not their it's not Snapchat or social media's fault entirely.

这也不是任何人的错。

It's also, like, it's no one's fault.

这只是生活，以及生活如今的发展方式，以前从来没有人经历过这种情况。

It's just life and how life is progressing right now, and just no one's ever dealt with this before.

我们不知道该责怪谁，也不知道该如何拯救我们的孩子，或者该如何做出改变。

We don't know who to blame or how to save our kids or what to do to make changes.

对。

Right.

这是洗脑。

It's brainwashing.

是啊。

Yeah.

你知道吗？

You know?

我们生活中的一切都经过了我们的滤镜。

It's like everything in our life is through our filter.

对吧？

Right?

就像我们所经历的一切，都是因为我们所见过的和被灌输的东西。

Like, everything we experience is because of what we've seen and what we've been programmed with.

嗯。

Mhmm.

他们被灌输一种观念，认为别人的生活比自己的好，或者认为那些不安全的东西是安全的，他们只是被不断洗脑。

And they're being programmed to think that everybody else's life is better than theirs, or that things are safe that aren't it's just like they're just being programmed.

就像我

Like, I

就连我八岁的孩子，当他想看YouTube、想当YouTuber的时候，我都能看到这一点。

see it even with my eight year old when he wants to go on, like, YouTube, and he wants to be a YouTuber now.

哦，

Oh,

是啊。

yeah.

然后我小的那个，他才

And then my little one, who's only he's only

他五岁。

He's five.

他五岁。

He's five.

他正在看一些东西，你知道他们是怎么做的吗？我前几天看了一个视频。

He was watching something, and they you know what they do is they I mean, I saw this video the other day.

他们把他喜欢的卡通角色，比如他喜欢的角色，但后来却让它们往脖子上注射什么东西。

They take cartoons that he likes, like, of characters that he likes, but then they had it, like, injecting something into their neck.

什么？

What?

是的。

Yes.

所以他们拿这些内容来针对儿童。

So they take these things they're targeting children.

对吧？

Right?

因为他们知道孩子们喜欢看什么，就用那些能吸引孩子注意力的角色。

Because they know what kind of things kids look at, and they take those characters that are like, and, like, catch your attention.

嗯。

Uh-huh.

然后让他们拿着假的注射器之类的。

And then they have them, like, taking, like, fakes, like, syringes and yeah.

把它们插入

Putting them

什么？

What?

这是在YouTube Kids上看到的吗？

Is this on YouTube Kids?

我不知道。

I don't know.

他可能已经想明白了如何

He might have figured that how to

退出

get off

但YouTube还是，我觉得，确实有。

But YouTube still, I'm like, there's yeah.

我们已经把

We've taken

它移除了。

it away.

它全都没了。

It's all over.

它无处不在。

It's everywhere.

它无处不在。

It's everywhere.

我

I

知道。

know.

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，即使在普通的YouTube上，当我们把它投到智能电视上时，是的。

I mean, even on the normal YouTube when we put it up on the smart TV Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

比如，那些流行的短视频突然弹出来，有些吓人的内容，像是恶魔啊、可怕的东西，这会让你不想看，因为会留在你脑子里。

Like, just the little videos that are popular that pop up, there's scary ones that are, like, demons and, like, scary things, and it's, like, Kira, you don't wanna watch this stuff because it's gonna stay in your mind.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

而且你会做噩梦的。

And it'll you'll have nightmares.

噩梦。

Nightmares.

别去看。

Don't even look at it.

不。

No.

不知为什么，我女儿对搜索或YouTube之类的东西没什么兴趣，我知道。

I for some reason, my daughter's, like, not really interested in googling or YouTube or whatever, which is a I know.

但我知道，当她和朋友在一起时，肯定会这么做。

And, like but I know if she's with her friends, like Yeah.

他们会做的。

They'll be doing it.

但关键是，我们该给他们什么工具？

But it's just, like, what tools do we give them?

当你们不在他们身边或没有察觉时，我们能做些什么来保护他们呢？

Like, what can we do to protect them when you're not either with them or aware, right, of, like,

他们接触的是什么？

what they're exposed to?

我知道。

I know.

我希望如此。

I wish.

我觉得这是我们所有人都得一起

I feel like this is something we all kinda have to

解决的问题。

figure out.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

但这确实是个不同的时代了。

It's it is a different time, though.

你说得对。

You're right.

你

You

知道吗？

know?

而且，甚至可以让人们去学校向孩子们讲解这个问题。我知道在基拉学校，他们为所有家长开设了一门在线互联网课程，教他们如何保护孩子、注意哪些问题、如何设置安全措施以及该屏蔽哪些内容。

And just even having people go and speak at schools to the kids about it or I know at Kira School, they have, like, an online Internet class for all the parents to go and learn how to protect your kids and what things to look for and how to go into the security and what to block and

对。

Right.

但再说一遍，你只能在一定程度上保护他们。

But, again, you can only protect them so much.

我

I

知道。

know.

我知道。

I know.

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不过，你最近怎么样？

How are you doing, though?

因为我知道，当这种事发生时，你可能会经常谈论它，渐渐也就习惯了。

Because I know that too, like, when things like this happen, you probably talk about it a lot and get used to talking about it.

但是

But

是的。

Yeah.

你知道，我现在好多了。

You know, I'm better now.

我觉得去年发生那件事时，我完全放任自己了。

I think last year when it happened, I I just let myself go.

我当时根本不在乎锻炼或者保持健康，那段时间主要是疗愈和消化情绪，尽力陪伴家人。

I didn't really care about working out or staying on top of my health or it was just a lot of healing and processing and just trying to be there for my family.

是的。

Yeah.

我是最大的。

I'm the oldest.

所以，我当时一直在照顾我妹妹。

So, you know, I was there for my sister.

她去世后几个月和我住在一起，我帮忙照顾孩子，还有我妈妈和家里其他人。

She lived with me for a few months after, and I helped with the kids, and then just with my mom and my like, everyone.

我只是在帮所有人，这让我忙起来，也让我好受一些。

I was just, like, helping everyone, and that helped me staying busy.

但有时候，我不希望凯拉只看到我哭。

But then there are moments where, you know, I don't want Keira to just see me crying.

所以，我的哭泣时间都在淋浴时。

So, like, my crying time was in the shower.

所以我只是在淋浴时释放出来，在淋浴时感受一下。

So I just, like, get it out in the shower, like, feel in the shower.

然后就是做心理咨询，我去教堂，重新投入了所有小组活动和每日灵修，努力以更积极的心态面对这一切。

And then just therapy, and I'm just going to church, and I really dove back into all of the small group stuff and devotional, daily devotional stuff, and just trying to be more positive about it.

是的。

Yeah.

这很难，我觉得每个人愈合的方式都不同。

It's it's tough, and I think everybody heals differently

是的。

Yeah.

只要这对他们有帮助。

If that helps them.

但毫无疑问。

But For sure.

是的。

Yeah.

我只是觉得，它以一种方式深深影响了我，去年在很多方面都糟透了。

I just feel like it really affected me in a way where last year was just bad all around in so many ways.

嗯。

Yeah.

所以我很高兴现在是新的一年了，

So I'm glad that now it's a new year,

一个全新的开始。

a fresh start.

但你知道，萨迪走了之后，我们仍然在纪念她。

But, you know, with Sadie being gone, it's like we don't we still celebrate her.

我们仍然会去墓地，经常带花去，讲关于她的故事。

We still go to the cemetery and bring flowers all the time and talk about stories with her.

我姐姐把她的一些书给了赛娅或基拉，还有一些女孩们，我们不会因为她不在身边了就忘记她。

And my sister had some of her books she gave to, like, say or Kira and, like, some of the girls and just we're not just gonna forget about her because she's not here physically.

嗯。

Yeah.

就像是在持续地纪念她的生命。

It's like celebrating her life, like, all the time kind of.

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

是的。

Yeah.

我只是觉得，你知道，这是每个父母最糟糕的噩梦。

I just think, you know, it's every parent's, like, your worst nightmare.

就像，没错。

Like, that's Yeah.

我觉得啊。

I I think oh.

我知道。

I know.

确实是。

It is.

我们一直在谈论这个，因为我总是会想到最坏的情况，关于我的孩子。

And we talk about it all the time because I constantly go to worst case, you know, with my kid.

是的。

Yeah.

你会再见到他们吗？

And, like, oh, will you see them again?

我不知道。

I don't know.

但所有那些外界的信息、新闻和经历，就像你之前说的，但当它真正发生在你身上时，我简直无法形容。

But it it is everything that's out there and the news and the experiences, but like you were saying before, but when it touches you personally, like, I can't even

是的。

Yeah.

这很难。

It's hard.

是的。

Yeah.

所以现在最重要的是向前看，而时机正好能提高人们的意识，让大家明白。

So now it's really just moving forward, and the timing of it is just bringing awareness and making people Yeah.

要高度关注并积极倡导。

Pay so aware and advocate.

是的。

Yes.

无处不在。

It's everywhere.

还不止这些。

And not even that.

这只是精神健康问题，是孩子生活的一部分，看着他们在做什么，就像我和我妹妹说的，在Roblox上学会怎么玩。

It's just mental illness, just being a part of your kids' lives and seeing what they're up to and just like my sister and I were saying, like, on Roblox, learn how to play it.

看看他们在做什么，说什么。

See what they're doing, what they're talking about.

和他们有一些共同点。

Have something in common with them.

你这样做过吗？

Have you done that?

我的意思是，我确实做过。

I mean, I have yes.

是的。

Yes.

你做过？

You have?

我知道。

I know.

Roblox？我根本不懂。

Roblox, I'm like, I don't even know.

就像它

Like It's

有点有趣。

kind of fun.

我记得很久以前，在山丘那边，第一次在山丘的时候，我们会有这些虚拟形象，然后我们会去拉杜俱乐部，

I remember on the hills a while ago, like, forever ago, the first round of the hills, we would have these avatars, and, like, we'd be in Ladue at the club and,

我的天。

like my god.

你

You

开玩笑吧？

kidding?

等等。

Wait.

那是山丘的电子游戏吗？

It was a video game of the hills?

这不是电子游戏，但几乎就像一个元宇宙一样的东西

It's not a video game, but it's almost like like a like a metaverse thing

是的。

Yeah.

一件事。

Of a thing.

但我们会进房间，所有粉丝都会注册，然后进入俱乐部和我们的虚拟形象跳舞、提问，这太搞笑了。

But we would go in the room, and all these fans would sign up, and they can go into the club and dance with our avatar and ask us questions and, like That's hilarious.

有点像那样，但你可以建房子，去学校，或者输入‘美人鱼’之类的词，你知道的，你会发现自己是一条美人鱼，在海底去不同的地方，这简直是一段超凡的体验。

It's kind of like that, but, like, you build houses and you can go to a school or you could type in, like, mermaid or, you know, you learn you're a mermaid under the ocean going to these different places, and it's just an out of this world experience.

太奇怪了。

It's so weird.

Briar在Roblox上玩的一个游戏，叫什么Fashion Famous或者Fashion Fabulous，我也会沉迷进去。

There's one game she that Briar plays on Roblox, which is, like it's either called fashion famous or fashion fabulous, and I, like, get into it.

是的。

Yeah.

那么，你现在要选什么？

So, like, what are gonna pick now?

你得打扮成某个特定的角色。

Like, you have to dress like a certain Yes.

然后进入房间挑选你的装备，我觉得这真的

Character, and you go in the rooms and you pick out your stuff, and I'm like, this is really

很有趣。

fun.

基拉的角色每次都会变。

Kira's character has to it changes every time.

如果她的朋友们模仿她的穿搭或发型，

And if her friends copy her outfit or hair,

她就会说

she's like

她会换掉。

She changes it.

别长得跟我一样，要有你自己的个性。

Don't look like my like, get your own personality.

我想

I wanna

所以这也是一个情况。

So that's a thing too.

对吧？

Right?

比如，你正在经历。

Like, you're having.

是的。

Yes.

我正试图说，这是最高形式的

And I'm trying to be like, it's the it's the highest form

赞美。

of flattery.

这就是我说的。

That's what I say.

对吧？

Right?

嗯。

Yeah.

但他们说：不。

But they're like, no.

就像，嗯。

Like Yeah.

我不想要这样，这是我的东西，我想保持独特，你知道的，这时他们就开始

I don't want like, this is my thing, and I wanna be unique and, you know And that's when they start

形成自己的身份。

to form their identity.

所以这是好事。

So that's good.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

但这确实很有趣。

But it is interesting.

确实如此。

It is.

因为他们真的对此很生气。

Because they really get upset about it.

真的吗？

You do?

不。

No.

他们确实会。

They do.

他们确实会。

They do.

我以为你说不会呢。

I thought you said no.

不会。

No.

不会。

No.

但我和你一样，我觉得这其实是件好事。

But I'm like you where I'm kinda like, it's that's kind of a good thing.

这意味着你是个潮流引领者。

That means that you're a trendsetter.

每当你变老，这意味着你可以设计自己的衣服或产品，人们会觉得这很酷，因为你有创意，而且你有好的

Whenever you get older, that means you could either design your own clothes or your own product, and people are gonna think it's cool because you have you're creative and you have good

品味。

taste.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

这是好事。

This is a good thing.

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

我也想这么说，因为你会希望你的孩子拥有原创的想法吗？

That's what I try to say too because it's like, wouldn't you rather have your kid be the one that has the original thoughts?

是的。

Yes.

对。

Right.

我的意思是，不是那种当领导之类的。

I mean, not like not like Being the leader and not.

对。

Yes.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

这真的很有趣。

It's just it's so interesting.

基拉很有主见，知道自己喜欢什么。

And Kira is very opinionated, and she knows what she likes.

这就是一点。

And that's one thing.

我想让她保持这种强烈的个性，因为未来她会需要它。

I want her to keep that strong personality because she's gonna need it in the future.

是的。

Yeah.

我记得小时候，我妈妈性格非常鲜明，特别爱说话，几乎替我们把话都说完了。

I remember growing up, my mom was such a big personality and, like, loved to talk, and she would almost talk for us.

而我特别安静，因为我觉得，哦，反正我妈妈会说的。

And I was really quiet because I was like, oh, well, my mom

她有

She's got

我不用说什么。

I don't have to say anything.

对。

Right.

是的。

Yeah.

但对基拉，我一直在教她，你需要表达自己的声音。

But with Keira, I'm, like, trying to teach her, like, you need to use your voice.

上帝赐予了你声音。

God gave you a voice.

而且

And

如果你不使用它，别人就不会知道你的感受。

if you don't use it, people aren't gonna know how you feel.

对吧？

Right?

所以不是。

So No.

最重要的是能够表达出来

It's that's that's the biggest thing is being able to talk

是的。

Yeah.

你知道，还要为自己发声。

You know, and advocate for yourself.

尤其是对我们家的小女孩来说，对吧？

Like, that's the and especially with our little girls, You know?

我的意思是，男孩当然也是。

I mean, boys too, of course.

是的。

Yeah.

男孩也是。

Boys too.

你知道的？

You know?

每个人都得这样。

Everyone has to.

你的恋爱生活怎么样？

How is it for the dating life for you?

哦，这太有趣了。

Oh, that's so funny.

比如，这很难吗？

Like, is it hard?

等等。

Wait.

这太有趣了，因为我想说的事情其实就跟你有关。

That's so funny because I'm like, I had there was something I wanted to bring up, and that's what it was about you.

我当时

And I was

正想记起来，

trying to remember,

然后你就说了。

and then you did it.

我当时就想，这正是我要说的。

I was like, that's what I was gonna say.

我们想到一块儿去了。

We're on the same frequency.

我们

We

是的。

are.

我知道。

I know.

那你分居或离婚多久了？

Well, you how long have you been separated or divorced?

当Kira才一岁半的时候，我们就离婚了。

Well, so Kira was only one and a half when we got divorced.

但之后，我约会的第一个男人，其实是个前男友，因为和他在一起很舒服。

But after that, like, the first guy I dated, well, it was an ex because it was comfortable.

是啊。

Yeah.

就像是

Was like a

一次小小的重逢。

little revisit.

你知道的？

You know?

他总是很开心、很有趣，我们度过了最美好的时光。

It was like he was really always happy and fun, and we had the best time.

而这一次，我终于感到快乐了，又开始笑了。

And it's like I for once, I felt happy, and I was laughing again.

我已经很久没有这种感觉了。

And I hadn't felt that in so long.

所以我喜欢那种感觉，但我还没有准备好进入一段关系。

So I loved how that made me feel, but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship.

所以我结束了这段关系。

So I ended that.

我当时说，我爱你。

I was like, I love you.

你是我的好朋友之一，但这样对你不公平。

Like, you're one of my best friends, but, like, it's not fair to you.

我还没准备好。

I'm not ready.

我有种感觉要去完成。

Like, I have a feeling to do.

嗯。

Yeah.

有没有人重要到足以让你把女儿介绍给他？

Has there been anyone, like, significant enough to introduce your daughter to you?

我曾经和一个人交往了一段时间，是的。

I dated someone for a while Yeah.

他见过基拉。

And he met Kira.

嗯。

Yeah.

有些男人真的很难相处，也许我反而选择了完全相反的类型，因为我已经有个孩子了。

It's just hard certain guys and maybe I went for the complete opposite where it was just, I already have a child.

我不需要再养一个成年的孩子。

I don't need an adult child.

对，没错。

Like Right.

有时候他们太依赖人了，感觉你总是陪在女儿身边，他们觉得自己得不到足够的关注。

Sometimes they're too needy, and it's like, they don't feel like they're getting enough attention because you're with your daughter all the time.

哇哦。

Woah.

所以对我来说，我实在做不到。

And so for me, it's kinda like, I can't do this.

我已经精疲力尽了，所有的爱和精力都倾注在女儿身上。

Like, I'm already drained, and I all my love and everything is put into my daughter.

所以我最不需要的就是有人告诉我，因为你跟我女儿说话时没包括我，你就受伤了之类的。

And so the last thing I need is someone telling me that you got your feelings hurt because I was talking to my daughter and didn't include you or something.

只是，哦，天哪。

It's just Oh, no.

我真的再也受不了了。

That just I couldn't do it anymore.

这其实很常见。

It's really common.

我前几天刚跟一个人聊过这事，那个人是谁来着？

I just talked to someone the other day about this, that they were who was it?

他们说，那个人会因为对方把爱都给了孩子，而不是自己而感到难过。

They were saying that, like, the person gets upset that they saved their kiddosy and not them.

天啊。

Oh my goodness.

这种事根本行不通。

This like this is never gonna fly.

嗯。

Yeah.

所以这真的很难。

So it's really hard.

而且我只经历过一次，当时我就想，天哪。

Like and I've only experienced that once, and I was like, oh, no.

这会成功的。

This is gonna work.

你会觉得，这就是危险信号。

You're like, that's the red flag.

我肯定

I'm definitely

再见了。

Peace out.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

注意

Paying attention

到。

to.

基拉也很擅长察觉能量。

And Kira's really good at picking up on energy too.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以我能感受到她的情绪，她说的话影响很大，因为她们不只是在和我约会，我女儿也是我生活的一部分。

And so I could set sense her energy and what she says has a big impact because it's not like they're not just dating me, but it's my daughter is a part of my life.

所以如果她们不喜欢你，就会出大问题。

So if they don't like you, there's gonna be a huge problem.

对。

Right.

大大的问题。

Big big problem.

孩子很敏锐。

Kids are good.

我觉得他们有一种很好的，我该用什么词呢？

I think they have a good what's the word I'm looking for?

直觉。

Radar.

直觉。

Intuition.

直觉。

Intuition.

雷达。

Radar.

所有这些。

All of it.

是的。

Yeah.

他们确实有。

They do.

对于人们来说。

For people.

所以真的很难。

So it's really hard.

我的意思是

I mean

那你怎么做到的？

and then How do you do it?

你

Do you

我去，嗯，我可能已经超过一年没约会了。

go, like Well, I haven't went on a date, I don't know, in probably over a year.