天生为羽

柯南·奥布莱恩需要一个粉丝。想和柯南聊聊吗？访问 teamcoco.com/callconan。好了，我们开始吧。

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call conan. Okay. Let's get started.

哦，我的天啊。

Oh my gosh.

嗨。嗨。

Hi. Hi.

你是？这么久。嗨。哦，我的天啊。

Are you? So long. Hi. Oh my god.

你好。很高兴见到你。

Hello. It's so nice to meet you.

维布蒂，很高兴见到你。再见。哦，刚才延迟了好久。我不知道是不是因为技术问题，但维布蒂，我

Vibhuti, very nice to meet you. Goodbye. Oh, there was just a long lag. I don't know if that's, you know, because of the technology, but Vibhuti I

就是不知道该说什么。

just didn't know what to say.

你知道吗？其实也没什么可说的了。维布蒂，首先，欢迎你。很高兴你能参加《柯南·奥布莱恩需要一个粉丝》。告诉我们你现在在哪儿打来的。

You know what? There really is nothing else to say. Vibhuti, first of all, welcome. It's very nice to have you on Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. And tell us where you are calling in from.

我现在在印度的新德里。哦，我的天啊。哦，太酷了。

I'm right now in New Delhi in India. Oh my god. Oh, that's cool.

印度。你知道吗，我去过一次印度。是的。和你一起，索娜。

India. You know, I've been to India once Yeah. With you, Sona.

没错。

That's right.

我们在斋浦尔做了个小项目，我们很喜欢。嗯哼。我喜欢印度人民。在我去过的所有地方里，它是最不同的。我只能这么说。

We did something a little project in Jaipur and we loved it. Uh-huh. I love the people of India. And I it of all the places I've been in the world, it was the most different. That's all I can say.

它就像——同意。就像去了另一个星球，全是最好的那种体验。真的很爱印度。

It was just Agreed. It was like going to another planet in all the best ways. Really loved India.

是啊。那是个广告，对吧？

Yeah. It was it was an ad. Right?

你刚才在说什么。Express。

You were saying something. Express.

我——我搜过一次。嗯。

I I googled it once. Yeah.

嗯。是给美国运通拍的。不错的报酬。总之我——

Yeah. Was for American Express. Good payday. Anyway I

我前几天还在想。我在想，印度真的，有很多东西在发生，对吧？你说得对。它和世界上其他地方很不一样。

was I was thinking about it the other day. I was thinking about how like, India has, like, a lot going on. Right? You're right. It's very different from the rest of the world.

是的。

Yes.

而且一个很大的特点就是，它非常鲜活，非常热闹。嗯。有那么多食物、颜色，等等等等。大家都这么说。

And one big thing, of course, there's, like, it's very vibrant. It's very happening. Yep. The there's so many foods and colors and blah blah blah. That's what everyone says.

但这里也非常混乱。我觉得任何真正喜欢待在这里的人都必须有很高的混乱容忍度。

But it's also very chaotic. And I feel like anyone who really appreciates being here has to have a high chaos tolerance.

是的。我想你会同意我的看法，索娜，当我们去斋浦尔的时候，我们记得，我们开车到处转。是的。交通根本不是朝一个方向流动的。我不是说人们朝两个或三个方向走。

Yes. I think you'll agree with me, Sona, that when we visited Jaipur and we were remember, we were driving around. Yeah. And traffic was not flowing in any one direction. And I don't mean people were going in two directions or three directions.

人、牲畜、公交车，所有东西从各个方向涌来。我从未见过这样的场面，我觉得非常刺激。

People, livestock, buses, everything was coming from every direction. I had never seen anything like it, and I found it exhilarating.

我

Me

也是。我就是——我就是喜欢它。我喜欢这种活力，我喜欢这种无序的状态。那里有太多美了，还有对生活的真正热情。这就是我的感受。

too. I've just was I was I loved it. I love the energy, and I love the lack of order. And there was just so much beauty there and a real zest for life. That's what I picked up on.

我说得对吗？

Am I correct?

太对了。太对了。我想我在想，我觉得索娜会喜欢，我觉得索娜有很强的混乱容忍度。我真的这么觉得。

So true. So true. I think I was thinking I think Sona would have like, I I feel like Sona has a great chaos tolerance. I do.

她必须得有。是的。她必须得有。她为我工作，而且她来自一个疯子的家庭。

She has to. Yeah. She has to. She works for me, and she comes from a family of maniacs.

哦，好吧。

Oh, okay.

是的。我这么说

Yeah. I say that

用最友善的方式说。哦，你真的这么觉得？是啊。我爱你父母，疯子们。

in the nicest way. Oh, do you? Yeah. I love your parents. Maniacs.

好，我会告诉他们你这么说。

Yeah. I'm gonna tell them you said that then.

别。但也许你可以

No. But Maybe you

如果你是好意，我就去说：‘妈，爸，柯南说我们是疯子。’

that and if you meant it in a nice way, I'm gonna say, hey, mom, pop, be Conan says we're maniacs.

他们来自一个非常充满活力的文化。

They they come from a very vibrant culture.

是的。

Yes.

对，阿拉疯子。

Yeah. Alamaniacs.

这就是好听的版本。

That's the nice way to say it.

我们挺混乱的，这就是

We're chaotic. That's what

我们对自己的评价。

we say about ourselves.

嗯，嗯。

Yeah. Yeah.

疯子。总之，Vavuni

Maniacs. Anyway, so, Vavuni

我觉得你来了可能会把我们搞糊涂，因为你走到哪儿就把混乱带到哪儿，对吧？

You have a high I think I think you would almost, like, confuse us if you came here because you create chaos wherever you go. Right?

是的。我觉得如果我来印度，我的混乱程度会比新德里人见过的都高。他们会说，这家伙得冷静点。

Yes. I I think that if I came to India, my level of chaos would be higher than the people of New Delhi have ever seen before. Yeah. I think they would be saying, like, this guy has to calm down.

哥们，太过了。

Guy Too much.

我们得把他弄出去。Vabootie，说说你的生活吧。你在新德里，结婚了吗？

We gotta get him out of here. We gotta get him out of here. Tell me about your life, Vabootie. You're in New Delhi. Are you married?

我能问这个吗？

Am I allowed to ask that?

我结婚了。

I got married.

因为我正准备向你求婚。我觉得在求婚前知道对方是否已婚很重要。

Because I was about to propose to you. And I think it's important to know if someone's married before you propose to them.

这主意不错。可你也结婚了，温柔点。

That's a good idea. But you're also married. Gently.

是啊。但那事儿，你知道，它可能是个L，是个L，是个洛杉矶婚姻。那种婚姻随时可能结束。听着，过去几天我们疏远了，我和我妻子，在二十三年之后。

Yeah. But that thing, you know, it could it's an l it's an l it's an LA marriage. That marriage could go at any time. Listen. We've grown distant in the last several days, my wife and I, after twenty three years.

没有。我的婚姻非常幸福。说说你自己吧。你有伴侣吗？

No. I'm very happily married. Tell me about yourself. Are you with somebody?

有。我去年结婚了。

Yeah. I I got married last year.

哦，恭喜。是啊。你办的是那种——

Oh, congratulations. Yeah. Did you have one

我的那种——

of those my

盛大的仪式婚礼吗？我是说，印度有些婚礼是持续好几天的大型活动。你走的是那条路线吗？

big ceremonial weddings where I mean, some of the weddings in India are there it's a giant multi day affair. Did you do did you go that route?

我的天啊。场面巨大，兄弟。太过头了。而且，回想起来，我总是在想播客的事。我当时想，要是我早点申请《Connor Bryan需要粉丝》就好了，那样我就能邀请你——

Oh my god. It was huge, dude. It was too much. And and, like, in retrospect, like, this is how much I'm thinking I'm often thinking about the podcast. I was like, if only I had applied to Connor Bryan Needs A Fan before my wedding, I could have invited you

来参加。

to this.

我当时

I was

就像，呃。你

like, ugh. You

说那个。

say that.

就像，我错过了机会。

Like, I missed opportunity.

但你知道吗，Vabhuti？我觉得你并不是真的想要我。你懂我意思吗？我挺难搞的，我挺难搞的。

But you know what, Vabhuti? I don't think you wanted me. I think you know what I mean? I'm a lot. I'm a lot.

所以我觉得在某种潜意识层面，这是真的。你之所以这么快不同意，是因为我觉得其中一个请求。

So I think on some subconscious level That's true. The reason you That's don't agree so quickly. But I think one of the ask.

嗯。我觉得她就是那个意思。什么？她会邀请我们。对吧？

Yeah. I think that's what she meant. What? She would invite us. Right?

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。哦，我的天啊。要请Matt和Sona还有Aaron和Eduardo。

Yeah. Oh, oh my gosh. To have Matt and Sona and Aaron and Eduardo.

耶。所有人。耶。太好了。

Yay. Everyone. Yay. Very well.

但那样我们就得请Conan了。对吧？不。我们不用。不。

But then we have to have Conan. Right? No. We don't. No.

我们不用。

We don't.

我们绝对没有。所以你办了这场盛大的婚礼，我想知道你是谁我想知道你和谁结婚了。因为这是我想这么说。我会说一句好话。这是一个幸运的人，这是个幸运的人。

We absolutely do not. So you had this big wedding, and I wanna know who you I wanna know who you married. Because this is a I wanna say this. I'll say a kind thing. This is a lucky this is a lucky person.

嗯。你非常漂亮。你非常有趣。你看起来很聪明。你性格很好。

Mhmm. You're very beautiful. You're very funny. You seem very smart. You got a great personality.

这个人是谁？

Who is this person?

他很好，现在我说什么都好像不够好，但他也很棒。我不知道。他的名字是凯西。

He is well well, now anything I say seems, like, not good enough, but he's amazing as well. I don't know. His so his name is Casey.

凯西。

Casey.

他工作，直到最近，他在乌克兰与联合国合作，为他们的人道主义工作提供信息

He works he until very recently, he worked with the UN in Ukraine informing their humanity

他做的是非常好的工作。这是非常重要且有意义的工作。所以他听起来是个很酷的人。你们结婚一年了。是的。

areas That's very good work he's doing. That's very good work and and very important work. So he sounds like a really cool guy. You've been married now a year. Yes.

那你们现在住在哪里？你们有自己的地方吗？

And where are you right now? Are you do you guys have your own place?

所以过去两个月，我们一直住在我父母家

So for the past two months, we've been living here at my parents'

你现在和你父母住在一起？是的。因为这可能会很困难。我会告诉你我是怎么知道的。

home. You're living with your parents right now? Yeah. Because that can be tough. And I'm gonna tell you how I know that for a fact.

直到18岁，我都和父母住在一起。所以那更多是法律意义上的事。但索娜是因为她在阿尔塔迪纳火灾中失去了房子，才搬回去和你爸妈一起住，是的。还有你丈夫和两个孩子。

Until I was 18, lived with my parents. So that's more of a legal thing. But Sona Yeah. Had to because she lost her house in the Altadena fire, moved back in with your mom and dad Yes. And your husband and your two children.

你为什么不插句话呢，

And why don't you jump in here,

还有我的狗。人很多。在搬出去一段时间后重新回家住，确实挺多的。而且，你需要自己的空间。这么说吧，你需要空间。

And my dog. It's a lot. It is a lot to move back home after you haven't lived at home for a while. And, you know, you need your space. Let's just say, you need your space.

对吧？我的意思是，我需要

Right? I mean, I need

自己的空间。

my space.

VaBootie，你觉得难吗？我们不想替你说话，但这难吗？为什么难？听起来挺难的。到底是谁最让你受不了？你妈还是你爸？

Have you found it difficult, VaBootie? We don't wanna put words in your mouth, but has it been difficult, and why has it been difficult? And it sounds difficult. Who is it who really gets to you? Your mom or your dad?

妈妈。你妈。等等。不，那是你的

Mom. Your mom. Wait. No. That's your

那是你的

that's your

主意。我想把它记录在案，因为我爸妈会听到这个。

idea. Wanna I wanna put it on the record because my parents are going to hear this.

是的。

Yes.

他们是天使。我非常爱他们。

They are angels. I love them so much.

好吧。哦，对了。我们别让他们听这个怎么样？我们再做一集他们能听的，但我想要真相。

Okay. Oh, yeah. How about we don't have them listen to this? We'll make a second one that they can listen to, but I want the truth.

哦，我的天哪。

Oh oh my gosh.

谁，谁可能有点……谁可能有点难搞？但他们仍然可以是很好的人，只是有时会制造更多麻烦？

Who who can be a little bit who can who can be a little rough? And and they can still be wonderful people, but who sometimes creates a little bit more of a problem?

她可能毁了她的家庭生活。

She could've ruined her home life.

你能闭嘴吗？不能。

Would you shut up? Couldn't.

Matt 懂了。谢谢你，Corley。

Matt gets it. Thank you, Corley.

哦，对。他懂了。这不是一个好的播客。就这样。哦，让我们把情绪从这苏打水里倒出来。

Oh, yeah. He gets it. This is not a good podcast. That's all. Oh, let's get the feels out of this soda.

好吧。所以

Okay. So

这样更好。它很平，很好。所以

It's better. It's nice and flat. So

我爸爸一直非常温暖、充满爱心和欢迎我。嗯。但同时，我也能看出他很难把我当作一个成年人来看待。是的。是的。

my my dad has been so warm and loving and welcoming. Mhmm. And at the same time, I can see that he has a hard time seeing me as an adult. Yes. Yes.

他有时候就是，你知道，有时候他会说出来，比如对我说，你在我心里永远是五岁，永远是那个小女孩。我说，这很贴心。但我已经不是了。我已经结婚了。我交税。

And he's he's just you know, and and sometimes he says it, you know, to me, you'll always be five years old, you'll always be a little girl. And I'm like, that's very sweet. But I'm also not. I I'm married. I pay taxes.

我在几个国家生活过。你知道吗？

I've lived in a couple of countries. You know?

是的。那他有时候——他把你当小孩时，具体会怎么做？他有没有说过，比如，回你房间去？他有没有变回你小时候那个爸爸的样子？

Yeah. So he sometimes how does this come out when he's when he's treating you like a child? Does he ever say, you know, go up to your room? Does he ever turn into the dad of your childhood?

你怎么闻起来像大麻？

Why do you smell like weed?

好吧。你在投射——首先，你在投射你童年和上周的事。今天？是的。今天早上。

Okay. You're projecting just wanna first of all, you're projecting your childhood and last week. Today? Yeah. Is morning.

母亲节。

Mother's Day.

今天是母亲节，兄弟。是的。

It's Mother's Day, bruh. Yeah.

你在桑拿房里也该放个假。

You deserve a break on the on the sauna.

今天是母亲节。所以，Babuti，就——

It's Mother's Day. So, Babuti, just just

我当时想，你知道的，就是流感而已，三天就好了，没必要看医生。他却说，不行，你必须去。现在的病毒很厉害，可能会恶化成很严重的病。

And I was like, it's, you know, it's just the flu. It'll pass in three days. I don't need to see a doctor. And he was like, no, you you must go. These days, it can be so strong and it can turn into something very bad.

我就说，好好好，行行行。我只是想等四十八小时看看能不能自己好。结果真的没事了。

And I was like, yeah, yeah, Okay. Cool. Cool. And I just wanted to like, I just wanted forty eight hours to pass and to see if it's gonna be fine. And it was fine.

嗯，我对你爸爸这事也挺有感触

Yeah. I'm sorry with your dad on

这一点我懂。

this one. I know.

我经历过。我咳嗽，我爸就说去看医生。我说我知道，不用去。嗯。

I I I've been there. My dad I had a cough. My dad's like, go to the doctor. I'm like, I know I don't need to go. Yeah.

他们就是那种父母的样子，挺暖的，但你也知道……

They just don't They're very parental that way, and it's sweet, but also, you know.

但Vabootie，这是双向的。你有没有发现自己会“退化”？有时候我回老家，哪怕三四十岁了，信不信由你，我在爸妈身边会变得更孩子气，因为又回到了小时候的房子。我知道这听起来怪得离谱，没人能理解，难以置信。

But Vabootie, it's a two way street. Have you found that you've regressed at all? Sometimes when I would go back home, even when I was in my thirties and forties, if you can believe it, I'd act more childish around my parents because I was back in the home where I was a child. Now I know this is a strong dose of weirdness, and no one can understand it. Hard to believe.

但我确实会在爸妈面前更孩子气。你有没有这种情况？

But I would act more childish around my parents. Do you find that you do that sometimes?

你会干嘛？哦，我有时候也会

What would you do? Oh, sometimes I

来段长篇大论、装傻、蹦跶，或者做没意义的超长采访、说绕口令。我会把头发梳成高高的庞巴度。还会跳一段舞，假装有绳子拴在胯上。总之越来越夸张。等等。

do long bits or act silly or jump around or do long interviews that had no real point or run on sentences. I'd comb my hair up to a big pompadour. I would do a dance where I pretended strings were attached to my hips. I mean, it would progress. Wait a minute.

我在描述我的职业生涯。

I'm describing my career.

是啊。这听起来像是柯南的一天生活。没错。

Yeah. This sounds like a day in the life of Conan. Yeah.

瓦布胡蒂，我要换个策略。假设我要去看你。好吗？

Vabhuti, I'm gonna try a different tact here. Let's say that I were to visit you. Okay?

嗯。

Mhmm.

假设我要住在你和你丈夫家里，你丈夫的名字又叫凯西，对吧？

And let's say that I were to stay with you and your your husband, whose name is, again, is Casey?

凯西。

Casey.

凯西。我相信我在那儿会受到欢迎，还有你父母。嗯。他们会知道我是谁吗？

Casey. I'm sure I'd be welcome there, and your parents. Yeah. Would would they be aware of who

我吗？

I am?

你父母会知道我是谁吗？

Would your parents know who I am?

会的。他们非常清楚。我爸爸现场看过你的演出。

Yes. They are so aware. My dad has seen you live.

看过我现场表演。

Saw me live.

多年前。哇。是的。现场。他很多年前，他在通用电气工作。

Years ago. Wow. Yeah. Live. He many, many years ago, he worked for General Electric.

哦，算是那种

Oh, as the sort

见到你的机会。是的。没错。

of opportunity to see you. Yeah. Exactly.

通用电气是我老板的时候

General Electric was my boss when

我是员工。

I was employees.

是的。通用电气拥有NBC，所以那时候，他们偶尔需要一只橙毛猩猩去逗GE的员工开心，我就去干这个。

Yeah. General Electric owned NBC, and so back in the day, occasionally, they would need some kind of an orange haired chimpanzee to go out and entertain the the GE crowd, and I would do that.

他就是这么形容你的。他

That's exactly how he described you. Did

他他吗？他喜欢我的表演吗？

he did he like? Did he enjoy my show?

是的。他喜欢。他还说，好像大家都这么说，哦，他好高啊。他好高。

Yeah. He did. And he and he also said, like, the one thing that I guess everyone says is that, oh, he's so tall. He's so tall.

是啊。是啊。他们其实不会说我有趣，只会说我高。不过没关系。

Yeah. Yeah. They don't really say funny. They just say tall. But that's okay.

大多数喜剧演员都想

Most comedians wanna

被用身高来形容

be described

。

by their height.

她真的很喜欢你。

Really likes you.

好吧。听你这么一说，我好像会被你们家接受。你妈妈是我粉丝，你爸爸也是，还现场看过我演出。

Okay. Well, listen. So it sounds like I'd be accepted by your family. Your mom's a fan. Your dad's a fan and has seen me live.

你知道，凯西，你丈夫也能接受我。你也是粉丝。

You know, Casey, your husband would tolerate me. You're a fan.

他会的，嗯。

He would yeah.

那我来拜访的话，我们会做什么？你希望我怎么帮你？有什么我能帮上忙的吗？

So I come and I visit. What would we do? What would you want me is there a way that I could help you?

有啊。嗯，我确实有个忙想请你帮。另外，我最近去了新德里附近的一座古堡，我很想带你去看看，开车几个小时就到。

Yes. Well, there's a way in which you could help me. And then there's also something that I so recently, I went to a fort close to New Delhi, and I'd love to take you there. It's a few hours drive.

哇。你让我开了几个小时的车去一个堡垒。

Wow. You had me a few hours drive to a fort.

听起来不错。

Sounds pretty good.

好吧。它被诅咒了，而且仍然很……堡垒里住着一个精灵，人们每天都供奉它。

Okay. It's cursed, and it's it's still pretty There's a jinn that lives in the fort that people worship on a daily basis.

爱尔兰人也供奉精灵，但那是不同的精灵。所以这里有一个邪恶的精灵。

The Irish also worship jinn, but it's a different jinn. So there's an evil djinn.

来供奉……好吧。糖果，因为他们相信精灵会实现他们的愿望。

Come to offer Okay. Sweets because they believe the djinn will grant them their wishes.

等等。所以这是一个被诅咒的堡垒，但我们去那里是希望精灵能实现我们的愿望？

Wait. So it's a cursed fort, but we would go there hoping that the djinn would grant our wishes?

是的。是的。有时候如果我们希望愿望成真，我们就必须……

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes if we want our wishes to be granted, we have to do

被诅咒的神灵。会不会有什么坏事发生？

deities cursed. Is anything bad potentially gonna happen?

嗯，传说是这样的：这里曾经是一个繁华的城镇和堡垒之类的，有一位美丽的公主，被一个邪恶的魔法师觊觎，他用尽各种手段想控制她，但都失败了。有一次，他试图给她一瓶魔法药水，但她立刻识破了。他把它伪装成香水，她知道那是什么。她把它扔在一块石头上，然后那块石头被附身了，把魔法师压死了。哦。

Well, so the story goes that the reason it's cursed is because there was once it was once a bustling township and fort and whatnot, and there was a beautiful princess who was desired by this evil magician who tried every technique to to bring her under his control and he always failed. Then one time, he tried to give her a magic potion which she immediately recognized. He he disguised it as a perfume, she knew what it was. And she threw it on a rock, and then the rock became possessed, and it crushed the magician to death. Oh.

但他在临死前诅咒了这座堡垒，诅咒了这里的人民，诅咒了这片土地，让它永远贫瘠。就说，我恨——

But before he died, he cursed the fort, and he cursed the people, and he and he cursed the land for that it will be barren forever. Just say, I hate the

魔术师都不是好人。哦，我知道这是以偏概全，但他们确实如此。

Magicians are not good people. Oh. And I know that's a blanket statement, but they really are.

说清楚点。

To be clear.

对，你甚至不用说邪恶的魔术师，只要说他是魔术师就行了。餐厅？

Yeah. Don't even you don't have to say evil magician. Just say he was a magician. Yeah. Restaurant?

不，我要钻进这个小泡泡里，十七天不吃东西。你可以在时代广场看我。不，我觉得这不会发生。

No. I'm gonna get inside this little bubble and not eat for seventeen days. You can watch me in Times Square. No. I don't think that's happening.

向大卫·布莱恩道歉，但众所周知，约会很难。Vabootie。好吧，也许我们会去看看几个小时外那个被诅咒的堡垒，顺便去一下健身房。

Apologies to David Blaine, but famously, tough date. Vabootie. Okay. Maybe we'll check out the cursed fort that's a couple of hours away and visit the the gym.

完全不感兴趣。

So uninterested.

我们在那里还会做别的什么吗？有什么我能帮你的吗？

And anything else that we would do while we were there? Is there any way I can help you?

那我们去打羽毛球吧。

Well Let's get to badminton.

对不起，我——

I'm sorry. I'm

——已经不再四处走动了。

not getting around anymore.

那里有

Did there's

羽毛球相关的事情吗？

something in the whole badminton thing?

是的，笔记里提到了一些羽毛球。

Yeah. There's some badminton in the notes.

有个羽毛球的事。

There's a badminton thing.

抱歉，你能

Sorry. Can you get

在过去的两个月里，我真的开始迷上了羽毛球。

in a So the past two months, I've been really getting into badminton.

嗯。

Mhmm.

在我们社区，有个女孩简直无敌。她叫图莉卡，她太厉害了。我永远打不过她，我真的需要你们帮我提高羽毛球技术，也许一起组队，就这一次，彻底，夺回我作为最佳羽毛球选手的位置。

And in my neighborhood, there is this girl who is unbeatable. Her name is Tullika. She's amazing. I'm never able to get past her, and I could really use your help to improve my badminton skills, maybe team up, and just, you know, for once and for all, claim my my spot as the best badminton player.

好吧，事情是这样的。我很高兴你打来，瓦布蒂，因为我被公认为天生的运动天才。我——哎呀——我还没打过羽毛球，但我甚至不需要打羽毛球。我觉得任何需要手眼协调的运动

Well, here's the deal. And I'm glad you called Vabuti because I am recognized as an incredible natural athlete. I have Uh-oh. I have not played badminton, but I don't even have to played badminton. I think it anything that involves hand coordination

那就太好了。

That would be so great.

那会很棒。

Would be amazing.

你的身高会让你非常出色

Your height would make you very good

这么高。我是个干扰，因为我长得挺不寻常。头发甩来甩去。

at this tall. I'm a distraction to the other team because I'm quite unusual looking. The hair is flopping around.

没错。

Exactly.

他们会被搞糊涂。我的四肢比例失调。但我也很强悍，我我我主宰比赛。我必须赢。

They get confused. My limbs are out of proportion. But, also, I'm a fierce competitor. I'm I I I dominate. I need to win.

嗯。我可以帮你打败你的宿敌托利卡，打羽毛球。

Mhmm. I could help you beat your arch rival, Tolica, in badminton.

嗯嗯。那太棒了。如果你能帮我，我会永远感激。

Yep. Yep. That would be amazing. If you could do that for me, I would be forever grateful.

他不行。呃，

He can't. Well,

你在说什么？行，我行，而且我会做到。

what are you talking about? Yes. I can. I can, and I will.

你，我是说，身高对你来说就是浪费。是啊，你能越过网，但我可不

You're, I mean, height is, like, wasted on you. Yeah. Like, you can be over the net, but I don't

直接去堡垒。

Just go to the fort.

你到底打过羽毛球没有？你有没有真的打过羽毛球？

Have you ever even played have you have you ever even played badminton?

我想打过一次。我打羽毛球来着。好吧。只有三个人挂了。Vabooty，我想让你的梦想成真。

I think once. I was I played badminton. Alright. And only three people were killed. Vabooty, I wanna make your dreams.

我也不太行。我打羽毛球不太行。我妈都能赢Tullika。我就是打不过Tullika。

I'm also not that good. I'm I'm not that good at badminton. Like, my mom beats Tullika. It's just that I can't beat Tullika.

你妈能打赢那个？

Your mom can beat that?

好吧。她厉害，你就是菜。

Okay. That she's good, you just suck.

嗯。好吧。

Yeah. Okay.

但但我妈我妈超厉害。也许可以让Tullika和我妈组队对打

But but my mom my mom is incredible. Maybe it can be Tullika and my mom versus

也许你妈就是你最大的对手。对。

Maybe your mom is your archrival. Yeah.

我妈偶尔能赢Tolika。她通常都输。嗯。偶尔赢。好吧。

My my mom beats Tolika once in a while. Like, she usually loses. Mhmm. Once in a while, wins. Okay.

好吧。我赢不了。

Okay. I don't win.

好吧。我觉得托利卡首先可能一直在接受专业帮助。她可能有教练。我的意思是，托卢卡这么厉害是有原因的。她在用药。

Okay. Well, I think Tolika, first of all, has been probably getting professional help. She probably has a coach. I mean, there's a reason Toluca is so good. She's juicing.

我觉得她在用药。是的。我确实觉得她在用药。托卢卡在用某种

I think she's juicing. Yeah. I think I definitely think she's juicing. Toluca is on some kind

类固醇。她

of steroid. Does

有粗壮的前臂吗？她有锚形纹身吗？她说过“我总是吃我的菠菜”吗？好吧，她是大力水手。

she have massive forearms? Does she have an anchor tattoo? Does she say I always eats me spinach? Okay. She's papa.

她有一个叫橄榄油的女朋友吗？

She have a girlfriend named Olive Oil?

是的。是的。她有。

Yeah. Yeah. She does.

她有。她从不说“我就是我”。她笑的时候，会不会说“我需要帮助，心理帮助，但我很乐意帮你。我很乐意帮忙。你看起来是个很酷的粉丝，我为你高兴。”

She does. Never say I yam what I yam. She when she laughs, does she go, Vabhuti, I need help, mental help, but I'd love to help you. I'd love to be of assistance. You seem like a very cool fan, and I'm happy for you.

我为你的婚姻感到高兴，你与父母健康的关系，尽管你父亲听起来很专横，把你当小孩对待，不明白大多数疾病都是短暂的，会自行消失。嗯。但除此之外，一切听起来都不错。我愿意和你一起去被诅咒的堡垒拜访精灵，看看那块压碎魔术师的石头，因为我不喜欢魔术师。我本可以更轻松地把这事搞定。

I'm happy for your marriage, your healthy relationship with your parents, even though your dad sounds very domineering, and treats you like a child, and doesn't understand that most things are most illnesses are short lived, quickly go away on their own. Mhmm. But other than that, everything sounds fine. And I'd visit a cursed fort with you any day to visit the Jinn, and see the rock that crushed the magician, because I don't like a magician. I could have wrapped this up so much more easily.

是的。你本可以。

Yeah. You could have.

但我刚才有点小动脉瘤发作了。

But I've had a little aneurysm here.

需要帮忙吗？

Do need an assist or something?

不用了，我结束了。Vabhuti，非常感谢你打电话来。你看起来很可爱，真的。

No. I'm done. Vabhuti, thank you so much for calling in. You seem lovely. You really do.

嗯。

Mhmm.

祝你今天过得愉快，我真的很希望我们能当面见面。

Have a fantastic day, and I do hope that we get to meet in person.

非常感谢你，Conan。Matt，Sona，很高兴能和你们通话。谢谢你们的时间。

Thank you so much, Conan. Matt, Sona, it's such a pleasure to have spoken to you. Thank you for your time.

谢谢你，Ruili。再见。再见。

Thank you, Ruili. Bye bye. Bye.

《Conan O'Brien需要粉丝》由Conan O'Brien、Sonamovsesian和Matt Goreley主持。由我Matt Goreley制作。执行制片人是Adam Sachs、Jeff Ross，

Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonamovsesian, and Matt Goreley. Produced by me, Matt Goreley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross,

还有Nick

and Nick

Liao。插曲音乐由Jimmy Vivino提供。来吧，Jimmy。监制Aaron Blayard。助理人才制片人Jennifer Samples。

Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blayard. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples.

副制片人，Sean Dougherty 和 Lisa Berm。由 Eduardo Perez 负责工程。在 siriusxm.com/conan 注册即可获得三个月免费 SiriusXM。请在任何优质播客平台上为《Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan》评分、评论并订阅。

Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are demoed.