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嗨，大家好。
Hi, guys.
欢迎回到《妄想日记》播客的又一期节目。
Welcome back to another episode of Delusional Diaries podcast.
我是海莉。
I'm Hallie.
我是杰兹。
And I'm Jaz.
伙计们，我真没想到今天能在这儿，因为昨天我们经历了地狱般的旅行日。
Guys, I did not think we would be here today because genuinely, we had a travel day from hell yesterday.
我再也不想经历这种事了，短时间内都不想再坐飞机。
I never want to experience I don't want to be on a plane for a hot minute.
不过话说回来，我两天后是不是又得上飞机？
Granted, will I be on one in, like, two days?
没错，我们会的。
Yes, we will.
但我们离开了洛杉矶。
But we left LA.
我们凌晨4点就起床赶飞机，一路飞到纽约上空盘旋——无法降落，燃油即将耗尽，还遇上恶劣天气。
We woke up at, like, 4AM to go to the airport, fly all the way to New York Circles Circle like we can't land, we're gonna be out of fuel and there's like a whole weather thing.
于是我们被迫改道，可东海岸附近所有地方——费城、波士顿——全都满员。
So we get diverted and everywhere is full on the East like in the near areas like Philly, Boston, everywhere is full.
最后我们被转降到密歇根州的底特律。
So we get diverted to Detroit, Michigan.
所以我们当时就想，开车吧。
So we're like, let's drive.
我们得开车去，因为还得回来录这个播客。
We'll drive because we have to come back because we have to record this podcast.
他们今晚要办万圣节派对。
They're having a Halloween party tonight.
所有这些事情。
All these things.
呃，你漏掉了。
Well, you're missing.
就像，我们原本下车时还在说
Like, we originally got off and we were like
我当时还没到那儿。
I wasn't there yet.
好吧。
Okay.
我本来是要到那儿的。
I I was gonna get there.
所以就像我们在飞机上说的，然后那些就转到车上了。
So, like, we say that on the planes and like those went to cars.
我们下了飞机。
We get off the plane.
那位女士说，姑娘们，要等三十分钟。
And the lady is like, it's gonna be thirty minutes, girls.
比如，别开车。
Like, do not drive.
所以，就像，好吧。
So, like, okay.
我们会等。
We'll wait.
所以我去买点吃的。
So I go grab some food.
我们收到通知说延误30分钟变成一小时，然后又延误一小时。
We get a notification like thirty minutes gets delayed an hour, gets delayed another hour.
我们就想，早知道就该直接走的。
We're like, we should have just left.
比如，我们干脆开车试试看。
Like, let's just go drive, try to drive.
然后被告知，嘿，所有人都在超时，你们今晚赶不上这班飞机了。
And then we get told like, hey, everyone's timing out like you're not making this flight tonight.
所以我们想，好吧，也许我们可以叫个司机开车送我们，因为我们太累了。
So we're like, okay, like maybe we will just we'll get a car driver to drive us because we're exhausted.
我们都没怎么睡觉什么的。
We haven't like really slept or anything.
然后发现其实还是能走的。
And then like you actually are going to be able to leave.
他们新调了机组人员过来，因为这班飞机优先级特别高必须起飞。
They have a new flight crew coming in to like this is flight such a high priority to get out.
太棒了。
Amazing.
所以我们回去了。
So we go back.
结果又延误了，大概三个多小时。
Ends up getting delayed, like, three more hours.
我们延误了十二个小时。
We got delayed twelve hours.
但我们最终还是到了。
But we made it here.
你漏掉了故事里好多部分。
You missed, like, so many parts of that story.
我漏了什么？
What I miss?
整个有趣的部分。
The entire part that was funny.
我想让你来讲。
I wanted you to tell it.
好吧。
Okay.
我想让你来说。
I wanted you to do it.
我觉得你并不想。
I don't think you did.
是啊。
Yeah.
基本上，当我们航班延误时，我们直接离开了机场。
Basically, we when our flight was getting delayed, we left the airport.
就是，我们直接出了安检区，心想去他妈的。
Like, we went out of security because we were like, fuck this.
我们现在开车走。
We're driving.
当时我们都慌了。
We were just in a panic.
我们的助理考特尼也和我们在一起。
We also had our assistant Courtney with us.
向所有人致敬。
Shout out for all.
她现在正在处理这个。
She's setting this up.
就在刚才还在想
Thought right now, like
当时就觉得，姐妹今天别出门了。
It was like, girl, stay home today.
请天假吧。
Take the day off.
对啊。
Yeah.
她跟我们一起去了洛杉矶，这就像是，你带她，大概去了
She came with us to LA, and this was like, you took her, like, briefly to
密苏里跟我一起。
Mizzou with me.
我们在那里待了，大概一天。
We were there for, like, one day.
甚至都不到。
Not even.
随便吧。
Whatever.
然后所有三个
And all the three
第一次和我们一起的大型工作旅行。
first big, big work trip with us.
因为我们在拍vlog，整个旅程都为Patreon拍了vlog，这期节目播出时就会发布。
And because we're vlogging we've vlogged the entire trip for Patreon, which will be out by the time this episode is out.
仅供参考。
Just FYI.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且，显然，我觉得，我们真的很难过，因为我们就想，天啊，姑娘。
And, obviously, I like, we just felt so bad because we're like, oh my god, girl.
就像，她也被困住了。
Like, she's stranded too.
但她却说，我就留下来，然后搭这班飞机回纽约，如果消息传出去的话。
But she was like, I'm gonna just stay and, like, take this flight back to New York, like, if it gets out.
所以贾兹和我都觉得，好吧，太棒了。
So Jazz and I are like, okay, amazing.
完全理解你不想和我们一起开车，横穿全国开十个小时。
Like, totally understand that you don't wanna drive with us, like, ten hours across the country.
听起来简直太痛苦了。
That sounds literally miserable.
完全理解。
Totally get it.
所以我们慌了，因为按照这个计划，我们这会儿应该开着租来的车。
So we, like, panic because we're driving a rental car at this point in this plan.
于是我们彻底离开了机场。
So we leave the airport completely.
等我们到了外面才意识到，我们站在接送乘客去租车点的摆渡车等候区。
We realize once we get out there, we're standing out where a shuttle will pick you up to take you to the rental car place.
等了老半天都不来，我们越来越不耐烦，就决定干脆不等了。
It is taking forever and we're getting impatient and like we just decide we don't want to do that.
而且我们实在太累了。
And we're just so tired.
是啊，我们严重缺觉。
Yeah, like we're sleep deprived.
这种情况下开十小时车可能不太安全。
Like, it probably isn't super safe for us to be driving ten hours.
说实话，当时我们制定这个计划时我其实并不怎么累，因为去纽约的路上我全程都在睡觉。
Honestly, I wasn't even that like, tired at the time when we were deciding this plan, because, like, I slept the whole way to New York.
但我还吃了很多药，比如抗焦虑的药物。
I but I had taken also a lot of drugs, like anxiety medication.
我是说，很明显是为了昏睡过去。
But I'm saying, like, to pass out, obviously.
那些药只会让你昏昏欲睡。
And those just make you, like, drowsy.
所以我当时就想，可能不该开车，我不应该开车的。
So I was like, it's probably not a good I I shouldn't drive.
就是突然意识到，我甚至没想过自己吃了那些药。
Like, realizing, like, I wasn't even thinking that I had taken those.
这很明显
It was obviously
我们还要很久才能到家。
a We long have hour to get home.
我们还有工作要做。
We have work to do.
我们今天还要拍广告。
We have we have ads to film today.
我们还有一大堆事情。
We have, like, a bunch of stuff.
也是
Was also
万圣节派对快乐。
Happy Halloween party.
一个万圣节派对，就像，我们
A Halloween party that, like, and We
有65个人要来
have 65 people coming
而且早上没有其他航班。
And to there were zero other flights in the morning.
比如，今天是万圣节。
Like, this is Halloween day today.
昨晚是星期四晚上。
And last night was Thursday night.
讲讲那个故事吧。
Tell the story about.
我很抱歉。
I'm sorry.
我太累了。
I'm so tired.
你错过了很多重点。
You missed so many points of it.
但确实没有其他航班。
But there was zero other flights.
所以真的，如果我们原本的航班没有起飞，而他们直接取消了——当时很多航班都被完全取消了——我们就只能等到今晚万圣节所有航班都在四五点起飞时才能回来，可能要到晚上8点才能回到这里。
So genuinely, if we did not get if our flight original flight did not take off, and they just canceled it, which a lot of flights were getting fully canceled, we would have simply like, we would have not been able to come back here till every flight was leaving like four or 5PM tonight, Halloween night, we wouldn't have gotten back to like 8PM.
除了只剩三个座位的那趟航班外，其他票都卖光了
They were all sold out except for like, one flight that had three seats left
而且还要转机
and had a layover.
所以看起来情况不太妙
So like, this isn't looking promising.
我们当时就觉得，可能要拖到晚上10点才能回来，那肯定很糟糕
So we were just like, we wouldn't get back to, like, till 10PM, and it would just obviously been miserable.
大概有65个人要来参加这个万圣节派对
Like, 65 people are coming to, like, this Halloween party.
抱歉啊各位
Like, sorry, guys.
是啊
Yeah.
而且我们还得拍些乱七八糟的
Like And we have to film shit.
对啊
Yeah.
而且情况真的很糟
And, like, really bad.
我们可能得自己来办这个派对了
Like, we would have had to just put the party himself.
你能想象吗？
Can you imagine?
真的太糟糕了。
So really rough.
所以我们决定，唯一的选择就是开这十小时的车，因为至少我们能在早上八点前回到纽约。
So we decide, like, the only option is to drive this ten hours because at least we'll get back by, like, eight a.
早上
M.
我们就能回到纽约。
In the morning and we will be back in New York.
所以我们决定预订黑车服务，那是一种豪华的司机代驾服务。
So we decide to book a black lane, which is like a luxury kind of, like, chauffeur service they drive.
因为我觉得在那辆车里睡上十小时会比较舒服。
Because I'm like, I feel comfortable sleeping in that vehicle for those ten hours.
这几乎是唯一的选择。
And it was kind of the only option.
你知道的，这么远的路程没法叫优步。
Like, you can't, like, Uber that far.
是啊。
Yeah.
所以我们租了一辆。
So we rent one.
说实话，价格是3600美元。
The price, I'll just be so for real with you guys, $3,600.
当然，我们是平摊这笔费用的。
Granted, we were splitting that.
说实话，如果有一趟航班说抱歉只剩一个座位了。
And genuinely, if there was a flight that was like, sorry, we only have one seat left.
票价是1500美元。
It's $1,500.
你会买吗？
Would you would you buy it?
我会买，因为我当时太想回纽约了，毕竟我们还有工作要做。
I would because I was so desperate to get back to New York because, again, we have work to do.
比如有些拍摄内容，如果我们不去完成，损失的钱会比这笔开销多得多，尽管这个价格确实离谱。
Like, have stuff we have to film where we would lose a lot more money than if we were not to spend that money, even though it's a ridiculous price.
如果我不是那种处境，我肯定不会这么做。
And like, if I wasn't in that situation, I wouldn't have done that.
但总之我们花了3600美元。
But anyway, we're like $3,600.
老实说，让人开车带我们横穿全国，这个价格不算太糟——虽然还是贵，但毕竟有人整天都在为我们开车。
Honestly, not that bad for driving us across the country, like bad, but like somebody's driving On us all day
提前一小时通知，就这样。
an hour's notice, period.
我们订了这个服务，但后来收到通知说，嗯，她觉得...
So we booked this thing, but then we end up getting a notification that, well, she thinks
不。
no.
其实在你离开机场前我就已经在了。
So I had originally been before you had exited the airport.
我扫描了二维码，因为每趟航班都在取消。
I had scanned like the QR code because every every flight was getting canceled.
所以达美航空的每条队伍都排得老长。
So every single Delta line has the longest line ever.
所以你想扫描一个二维码
So you'd like scan a QR code
为了达美航空的客服柜台
for like the Delta help customer service desk
排队用的。
in the queue.
于是我排进队伍，然后他们走了。
So I get in the queue and then they leave.
接着我完全忘了自己还在排队。
And then I forget that I even got in the queue.
我收到一条短信。
I get a text.
‘我们为您准备好了，大概在34号登机口’。
We're ready for you like at like a thirty four.
我们原定的登机口是32号。
Our original gate was a like thirty two.
所以我当时想，哦，是我们的登机口。
So like I was, oh, it's our gate.
‘我们要起飞了’。
Like we're leaving.
所以我稍后会回到Delta航班的登机口。
So I go back to the Delta one later.
就像，我们已经准备好了。
Like, we're ready to go.
你能让我们重新进去吗？
What can you get us back in?
好吧，我们又得重新过TSA安检才能回到机场，因为我们完全离开了机场范围。
Well, we're again, this is just to go through TSA to get back into the airport because we completely exited the airport.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后她去找TSA工作人员理论，说系统扫描显示不能让我们重新进入，因为系统还没更新。
And she like takes up to like the TSA people that they're scan like we can't let you back in because it didn't.
他们系统里还没有录入改签信息，因为处理太滞后了。她解释说我们的航班正在登机，屏幕上明明显示已经开始登机了。
They didn't have the diversion in their system yet because they were so behind and she's like, well, their flights board and like it literally says we were boarding.
在她和Delta柜台主管争论的过程中，我收到了这条短信。
Got a text halfway through this like her arguing with the supervisor in the Delta Delta one person.
我意识到自己大错特错。
I realized I am so wrong.
这是我早前排队时收到的短信，现在感到非常内疚。
This is the text from the queue that I got into earlier and I feel so guilty.
我就想。
I'm like.
没关系的。
It's okay.
我觉得你该往这边走。
I think you just go over here.
我希望有人能私下告诉她，因为我当时太尴尬了，但现在我已经累得神志不清了。
I want someone to tell her in private because I was so embarrassed, but I'm delusionally tired at this point.
我们走到拐角处，我一看她的名字，心想，贝丝。
We get to the corner and I'm like, I look at her name and I'm like, Beth.
是我的错。
My mistake.
我真的很抱歉。
I am so sorry.
我大错特错了。
I was so wrong.
那是给排队的人准备的。
That was for the queue.
我们还没有登机。
We are not boarding.
确实没有。
We are not.
我能感觉到她的情绪，因为她当时正在和DSA的主管争论，说这些女孩必须赶上航班，她们正在登机之类的。
And she I felt that because she was like arguing with the supervisor at DSA saying these girls need to get on the flight like they're boarding like this whole thing.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后我们又...其实你们并没有。
And then we again, you were not.
在转机期间你本来就不该这么做。
You're never supposed to when you have a diversion period.
不是系统没更新的问题。
It's not that the system wasn't updated.
除非你确定不再回来，否则根本不该离开机场区域。
You were never supposed to exit the airport period unless you are sure you're not coming back.
我是说，当时我们很确定。
I mean, we were sure at the time.
也许我们本该再确认得更加万无一失些，因为现在回不去了。
Maybe we should have made sure we were a tiny bit more sure because you cannot get back in.
所以我坐在那里心想，天啊，当时我们的助理在登机口发信息说，嘿，他们说我们今晚可能走得了。
So I'm sitting there like, oh God, because then our assistant is at the gate and she's like texting us kind of like, hey, they said they think we're going to get out tonight.
我刚跟人通过话，巴拉巴拉。
I just spoke with somebody, blah, blah, blah.
说他们正在处理，我们优先级很高，感觉我们能成行。
Like they're working on it and we're a high priority and they're they're feeling like we're going to get out.
于是我们就想，好吧，或许该等等看，别急着冲进这条黑暗车道开始横穿全国，要是这班机能飞，现在就该抓住机会。
So then we're kind of like, alright, maybe we should just wait a bit and not just jump in this black lane and start driving across the country because if this flight gets out, we should just take it at this point.
随便吧。
Like, whatever.
然后我就干坐在那儿。
So then I'm just sitting there.
我们他妈要怎么重新进这个机场？
How the fuck are we getting back into this airport?
因为我们的登机牌不能用。
Because our boarding passes don't work.
他们不让我们进去。
They will not let us in.
我当时就觉得，这根本行不通，我在想或许我们可以买张便宜机票，通过安检混进机场。
I'm like, there's not even really like because I was like, maybe we could just buy a cheap flight and like get through TSA to then get into the airport.
但我转念一想，这么晚了根本就没剩什么航班了。
But I was like, there's not even really any flights left because it's so late at night.
快关门了。
To close.
马上就要关门了。
It's about to close.
是啊。
Yeah.
还有十分钟就关门了。
It closes in ten minutes.
谢天谢地我们最后还是搞定了。
We ended up thank god.
我们成功了。
We got this.
真的就只剩十分钟就要关门了。
Like, it was literally closing in, ten minutes.
就是这种小操作。
This little thing that you can do.
这就像一张目的地登机口通行证。
It's like a destination gate pass.
基本上，如果你要带个孩子什么的，需要送到登机口，你可以拿到这个通行证通过安检。
Like, essentially, if you're taking, like, a child or something and you need to just drop them off of the gate, you can get this pass to go through security.
所以谢天谢地我们拿到了。
So they thank god we got that.
我们总算通过了。
We were able to get through.
小漏洞。
Little loophole.
然后我们回来了。
And we then got back.
虽然还是等了好几个小时，但我们
We still waited hours, but we
他们说三十分钟后登机，结果四小时才登成。
They said boarding in thirty minutes ended up being four hours later.
是啊。
Yeah.
我得说，通常我肯定会抱怨，比如'这破航空公司'之类的。
And I will say, because I I usually would, like, come on and be like, fuck this airline, like, blah blah blah blah.
老实说，我要给机组人员点赞。
I honestly, I give props to adults.
可能我就是对他们特别忠诚吧，不过
Maybe I'm just like so loyal to them, but well,
调来了新人。
called in new people.
我就是这个意思。
That's what I'm saying.
他们确实已经尽力了。
They they actually like really did the best they can.
显然，这并不像是因为有时候会有人说，哦，你们人手不足之类的废话。
Obviously, it wasn't like a because sometimes it's like a, oh, you weren't staffed properly and blah blah blah.
首先，我们正面临政府停摆。
One, we're in a government shutdown.
所以很明显，我感觉机场和后续工作全都乱套了。
So obviously, I feel like everything is just like fucked up in airports and behind.
但昨天肯尼迪机场还因为天气原因完全停飞了。
But also, there was a complete ground stop at JFK yesterday because of weather.
而且，我们其他朋友比如雷米当时正在飞回来的路上
And, like, our other friends like Remy was flying back
因为她比我们早出发一小时。
to because she was an hour ahead of us.
是啊。
Yeah.
所以整个情况就像
And so it was like a whole Had
要是你去了费城投票站，我肯定也在那该死的车里。
you been to a voter to Philly, I would have been in that fucking car.
是啊。
Yeah.
底特律大概是我们能去的最糟的地方，因为我们当时还在飞机上。
Like Detroit was probably the worst place we could go because we were also on the plane.
比如，飞回洛杉矶要六小时，然后我们盘旋了大约一小时，又得花一小时飞回底特律。
Like, it's like a six hour flight back to LA, and then we circled for like an hour, and then we had to fly an hour back to Detroit.
所以我们在那架飞机上待了特别久。
So we were on that plane for really long.
因为我后来让某人在停机坪上等了两个小时。
Because I kept someone tarmac for two hours after.
没错。
Yeah.
总之就是特别久，然后随便吧。
So really long and then whatever.
不过无所谓了。
But whatever.
我要表扬达美航空，因为我当时完全以为那趟航班会被取消。
I will say Delta, because I fully thought that flight's getting canceled.
就像，根本没有其他选择。
Like, there's just no option.
我们那班飞机的飞行员和乘务员已经超时了。
The pilot pilots and flight attendants that we had had timed out.
他们不能再继续执勤了。
They couldn't be there anymore.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后他们确实安排了新的，底特律的飞行员和空乘人员来带我们飞往肯尼迪机场，他们真的是全力以赴了。
And then, they did get new, like, Detroit based pilots and flight attendants to come in and fly us to JFK and genuinely They got their whole pussy into that.
他们确实这么做了。
They did.
有个家伙开始辱骂那位超级友善的新空乘，我当时就觉得这人真是个混蛋，他还在那儿嚷嚷，我以为哈利在看着，但她坐在旁边戴着耳机根本没注意。
And this one guy started like cussing this brand new super kind flight attendant out and I was like, this guy is such a dick and he was like calling it like I was thought Hallie was watching because next to her seat she wasn't paying attention she had headphones on.
但他差点被赶下飞机。
But he almost got kicked off the plane.
我当时就说，别让他下飞机。
And I was like, don't take him off the plane.
除了这家伙，机上每个人都表现得非常感激。
Everyone here has such a good appreciative attitude except for this.
所有人都在鼓掌。
Everyone was clapping.
那场景真的很纽约，大家团结一致。
It was really like New York together.
那非常...
It was very I
我从未在飞机或机场鼓掌过。
had never clapped on a plane or at an airport.
我当时在欢呼。
I was cheering.
我在这次飞行中感受到了与所有人的深厚情谊。
I felt so much camaraderie with everyone on this flight.
是啊，太棒了。
Yeah, amazing.
那真是糟糕透顶。
It was really, really bad.
但我要说，我认为达美航空已经竭尽所能，我真心感谢他们把我们送回来，因为天气实在太诡异了——就像我刚从哥本哈根飞回来时遇到东北风暴，我当时就在想昨天那种情况肯定要重演。
But I will say, I think Delta did everything they could and I honestly really do appreciate that they got us back because it's so weird with weather too because like I just flew back from Copenhagen during the nor'easter and I was thinking like I was thinking like that's what's going happen.
就像昨天发生的那样？
Like what happened yesterday?
我早就预料到会这样。
I was planning on that to happen.
我当时就觉得这绝对会变成一场灾难。
Was like, this is going to be a shit show.
天啊。
Oh my God.
我的航班连一分钟都没有延误。
My flight did not get delayed even one minute.
我们实际上提前到达了，降落时几乎没有遇到什么气流颠簸。
We actually got in early and we were able to land like pretty not that much turbulence.
这很有趣，因为完全取决于风向。
It's so interesting because it literally depends on like which way the wind is blowing.
如果有侧风，那才是最危险的。
Because if you have the crosswinds, that's what's dangerous.
但我觉得如果风向与飞机航向一致其实还好，因为这实际上有帮助。
But it's like fine if the wind is blowing with the plane, I believe, because that actually helps.
完全取决于风向如何。
It literally just depends on the way the wind is blowing.
简直就像一场灾难。
It's like such a shit show.
所以天气这种事真的说不准。
So you really never know, I feel like, with weather.
不过我也要说，我们离开机场时，那确实是当天最糟糕的时刻。
But also, I will say as we were leaving the airport, that was honestly probably the worst part of the day.
完全就像我的书包一样。
It is fully like my book bag.
我知道现在完全就是凌晨3点半，各位。
I know it is fully 03:30AM you guys.
我当时在想，好吧，肯尼迪机场肯定空无一人了。
And I'm thinking like, okay, it's going to be a dead ghost zone in JFK.
很明显现在是凌晨3点半啊。
Like, obviously it's 03:30AM.
结果比高峰时段还繁忙。
It was busier than rush hour.
我从没见过这么拥挤的场面。
I've never seen it so busy.
显然是因为太多航班延误了。
Obviously, it's because so many people were delayed.
达美航空的每个客服柜台前都排着至少200人的长队。
Every customer service line at Delta had at least a line of 200 people.
我没开玩笑。
I'm not kidding.
我甚至不明白他们为什么还在等，因为我觉得他们根本帮不上忙。
I don't even know why they were waiting at that point because I'm they're not helping you.
我真的很同情那些在机场工作的人。
I feel so bad for people who, like, worked at the airport.
我知道。
I know.
我也为所有这些人感到难过。
And I I feel bad for all these people too.
这些人全都滞留在这里，诸如此类的情况。
They're all these people are stranded and stuff.
所有人都在把他们的愤怒发泄在那些只是尽力帮他们改签的工作人员身上。
Everyone's taking their aggression and anger out on, like, the team who's just, like, trying to rebook them.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且这根本不是他们的错。
And it's, like, not their fault.
简直是一场灾难。
It's such a shit show.
大自然的力量。
Mother nature.
然后我们大概又花了四十五分钟才拿到行李。
And then it took us, like, another forty five minutes to get our bags.
然后我就想，好吧。
And then I'm thinking, like, okay.
我们肯定能轻松叫到优步的。
We're easily gonna be able to get an Uber.
我们走到外面。
We we go outside.
比高峰时段还要繁忙。
It is busier than rush hour.
简直了，你拼了命也打不到一辆优步。
Like, there are you cannot get an Uber to save your life.
我们都在叫车。
We're all calling them.
他们却不断取消订单。
They're canceling.
每次都要等二十分钟左右。
It's like twenty minutes away.
每次你都忍不住想，天啊。
Every time you're like, oh my God.
有个家伙，肯定是有人偷了他的背包，他到处跑着喊：有人看到我的书包吗？
This one guy, someone must have stolen his back, his book bag because he's running around saying, screaming, has anyone seen my book bag?
我的书包不见了。
I lost my book bag.
我的书包丢了一个小时。
I lost my book bag for an hour.
他，我觉得很难过。
He I felt bad.
他就站在我们旁边。
He was like standing next to us.
然后我看到他四处张望。
And then I saw him like, look around.
他好像在找他的书包。
He's like, and he's looking for his his book bag.
接着他就真的开始尖叫起来。
And then he just starts literally screaming.
他完全就是个典型的纽约斯塔滕岛人。
He's like such a New York like Staten Island guy.
他都要哭出来了。
He's like, he's like, he's like in tears.
他不停喊着：我的书包，我的书包。
And he's like, my book bag, my book bag.
有人把它偷走了。
Somebody stole it.
求求你们，有人看到我的书包吗？
Please, does anybody see my book bag?
用尽全力大喊大叫，沿着优步排队队伍来回跑，大概有100米的距离，就这么一直尖叫
Like at the top of his lungs, running up and down the entire Uber line, like literally 100 meters back and forth, just screaming
持续了这么久。
for so long.
但最疯狂的是他一次都没真正描述过那个书包的样子。
But what was the craziest part is he never once gave an actual description of the book bag.
他只是说有人帮我找到了书。
He just said someone helped me find my book.
他的措辞一次都没变过。
He never changed his wording once.
比如，他为什么不说这是个蓝色书包呢？
Like, why didn't he say like, it's a blue book bag, please?
比如，书包有提手。
Like, there's handles.
当时我们都等着他描述，结果始终没等到。
As we was like, everyone's like, just waiting for a description and we never got
说出这个。
out this.
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而且我在想，兄弟，都这时候了，如果被偷了肯定找不回来了。
Also, I'm like, dude, at this point, if it's stolen, it's gone.
他们不会还回来的。
They're not giving it back.
你觉得会有人承认吗？
You think somebody's gonna admit?
哦，其实是我拿的。
Oh, I actually took it.
是啊。
Yeah.
但我确实做了。
But I did.
那真是...那真是让人难过。
That was that was sad.
从头到尾都是这样。
It was the entire time.
我为他感到非常难过，但我也觉得他并没有在帮忙。
I felt very bad for him, but also I feel like he wasn't helping.
而且那里还有，那些女士们，对当地人那样。
And there was like, the ladies, like, to the local.
想想看，如果是我的蓝色包包，人们肯定会问，是这个吗？
Think people had if it's even like my blue bag, people would have been like, is it this one?
你知道吗
You know what
明白我说的吗？
I'm saying?
就像，什么都没有。
Like, there was nothing.
我知道。
I know.
是啊，那真的就像是整件事的锦上添花
Yeah, it was really like that was just the icing on the cake to that entire I
今早大概凌晨5点才睡。
went to sleep at like 5AM this morning.
是啊，我也是。
Yeah, same.
确实。
It was.
然后我两小时后的7点就醒了，因为整整36瓶龙舌兰送到了我公寓，我们今晚要办万圣节派对，说实话这有点像某种隐喻——
And then I woke up at 7AM like two hours later to literally 36 bottles of tequila getting delivered to my apartment because we are having a Halloween party tonight, which honestly like was kind of like a metaphor if
你懂的。
you will.
好吧，你知道吗？
Okay, you know what?
说实话我需要那个。
I needed that honestly.
让我直说吧，本来没打算喝断片的，虽然我我我确实有这个计划，现在我绝对要这么干了。
Let me just say that wasn't planning on blacking out before, which I I I was planning on that, that I I definitely am now.
情况真的很糟。
It was really bad.
说实话，我真希望昨晚能好好睡一觉，因为
Granted, I, like, wish we got a good night's of, like, sleep last night because
我需要一杯浓缩咖啡马天尼。
I'm gonna need an espresso martini.
是啊。
Yeah.
真的，真的，真的，真的。
Really, really, really, really.
那是我这辈子经历过最糟糕的旅行日。
That was the worst travel day I've ever had in my entire life.
如果我是考特尼，我会说，你知道吗？
If I was Courtney, I'd be like, you know what?
我想我
I think I
辞职。
quit.
知道。
Know.
我知道。
I know.
我对她也不好。
I'm also bad for her.
但说真的，我觉得我从未经历过这么糟糕的事。
But yeah, I really do think I've never had I'd never experienced anything so bad.
唯一可能更糟的情况是航班完全取消，我们不得不开车回去。
The only thing that could have been worse is if they fully canceled the flight and had to actually have driven back.
只是希望他们能改变航线，不过我们当时也算是经历了改航，可能还得开车返回。
Just wish they differ, which also we were kind of with the diversion and potentially driving back.
我们的托运行李还在那架飞机上。
Our checked bags were still on that plane.
我们当时简直不敢相信，我当然想找回行李，但里面什么都没有。
So we were kind of like, oh my God, I obviously like wanted myself, but nothing in there.
情况超级紧急。
It's like super urgent.
所以我就想，算了，我们就申请索赔吧。
So I was just like, whatever, I guess we'll file a claim.
不过这么做我还是有点担心。
I was a little bit worried with doing that, though.
我们还能拿回这些包吗？
Like, are we going to get these bags back?
还有多少其他航班被取消了？
How many other flights were canceled?
我就说，不行。
I'm like, no.
是啊。
Yeah.
我知道。
I know.
所以我很高兴，真的很高兴一切都解决了。
So I am glad we I'm glad everything worked out.
我们总算能回来了。
We were able to get back.
那真是有史以来最糟糕的一天，糟糕透顶。
It just was really, really the worst day ever, ever, ever.
我们周一就会回到机场。
And we're gonna be back at an airport on Monday.
是啊。
Yeah.
真的。
Really.
希望，那就像
Hopefully, that's just like
一趟更快更轻松的航班，一切都会好起来的。
a quicker easier flight and it'll be all good.
但那真的很糟糕。
But that was really bad.
没错。
Yeah.
但我很期待今晚的万圣节。
But I'm looking forward to Halloween this evening.
是的。
Yes.
我非常兴奋。
I am very excited.
不过我们去了洛杉矶参加Rare Beauty影响力基金的慈善活动。
We went to LA though for the Rare Beauty Impact Fund benefit.
赛琳娜·戈麦斯就像是，为心理健康带来乐趣的那种。
And it's Selena Gomez is like, fun for like mental health.
是吉米·坎摩尔主持的。
And Jimmy Kimmel hosted it.
我还试着竞拍了一样东西。
And I tried to bid on something.
我们试着竞拍了一样东西。
We tried to bid on something.
就是你拿着那种号码牌，参加拍卖会那种。
It's like you get one of those paddles, like, with a number on it, and there's, like, an auction.
我当时超有信心觉得我们肯定能赢。
And I was, like, so confident we were gonna win something.
是啊。
Yeah.
但并没有。
But we did not.
我本来都准备好大出血了，结果本尼·布兰科出价比我高，感觉有点不公平。
And I I was willing to spend a lot of money, but Benny Blanco outbid me, which I feel like is a little unfair.
我觉得你不能就这样...让你老婆心想事成吧。
I feel like you can't just, like, be, like, out here, like, making your wife's stuff happen.
就...
Like
直接捐款不就得了。
Like, just make a donation.
总得让别人赢一次吧。
Let someone win something here.
但我出价到15,000美元，结果还是输了。
But I went to $15,000 and I lost.
是啊。
Yeah.
所以
So
全都捐出去了。
It was all donated.
对。
Yeah.
显然，全都捐了。
Was all, obviously.
我们还竞拍了一件无声拍卖品，结果也在那里被人超价了。
We also bid on a silent item, and we also got outbid there.
所以最后我们还是把钱捐给了这项事业，不过我们尝试参与了一些有趣的东西。
So we we ended up donating money to the cause anyway, but we've tried to get into some exciting stuff.
没错。
Yeah.
但这个女孩其实赢了第一件拍品，后来才发现她拍下的东西需要离城领取，而她花了大概15
But this girl actually, she won the first item and then she realized she's out of town for the item that she like spent, like, 15
英镑。
pounds.
是啊。
Yeah.
太搞笑了。
So funny.
但真的很好玩。
But it was really fun.
我现在想参加更多公益活动，因为手握球拍为善事出力的感觉真的让我受益匪浅。
I wanna go to more benefits now that having that paddle in my hand for a good cause was just really doing something for me.
是啊。
Yeah.
真的很糟糕，因为那次旅行明显很仓促，但我想，你知道吗？
It really sucks because that trip was obviously really quick, but I was like, you know what?
完全没关系。
It's so fine.
随便啦。
Like, whatever.
尽管显然飞行时间有点长。
Even though, like, obviously, it's a little bit of a long flight.
我就觉得无所谓。
I'm like, whatever.
最糟的是那天偏偏赶上旅行日，明明是个很棒的行程，但我当时就想，天啊。
And it just sucks that that travel day ended up happening because it just like, there was a great trip, but I was just like, oh my god.
就那天旅行日
Like, that travel day
速战速决。
a quickie.
即便是现在。
Even now.
预料之中。
Expecting that.
所以我们基本上浪费了整整一天，没法工作、拍摄和做事，不过生活本来就可能更糟。
So then it just kind of like we lost an entire day of, like, being able to work and film and do stuff, which whatever life could so be worse.
但痛苦就是痛苦。
But pain is pain.
是啊。
Yeah.
我当时其实也更想多在洛杉矶待会儿，比如今天才飞过来之类的。
I would have also, like, just love to, like, stay in LA longer at that point and just, like, flown in today or something.
像是...对啊。
Like Yeah.
我们赶了最早一班飞机，这样我们
We got on the earliest flight out so we
才能赶回来。
To make it back.
本来昨天就能把所有事办完的，结果都没成。
We can get all our stuff done yesterday, and it just didn't happen.
随便吧。
Whatever.
不过这趟行程确实超级短。
But it was, like, a super short trip.
我们在飞机上花的时间可能比在酒店房间里还多。
We literally probably spent more time on the plane than we did in our hotel room.
但我还是玩得很开心。
But I still had a really good time.
当然，只是希望我们能多待一天就好了。
Obviously, just wish we could have been there, like, maybe a day longer.
不过我们周二还有一整天可以自由活动。
But also, like, we got our whole day on Tuesday to do stuff as well.
所以还是挺有意思的。
So it was fun.
是啊。
Yeah.
我们去了Airwon，然后我们
We went to, like, Airwon and we
在vlog里看到了吗？
see it in the vlog?
对。
Yeah.
见了我们的经理之类的。
Met with our managers and stuff.
嗯。
Yeah.
随便啦。
Whatever.
所以
So
我本来今晚要做果冻酒的，但昨天一整天都浪费了，所以凯文做了。
I also I was gonna make jello shots for tonight, but because I lost my whole day yesterday, Kevin made them.
昨晚我回到家，打开冰箱发现里面有一堆果冻酒。
And I came home last night, opened their fridge and saw a bunch of jello shots in there.
我当时就想，那位真是王者。
I was like, that king right there.
没错。
Yep.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
那挺好的。
That's nice.
是啊。
Yeah.
我还一大早就去洛杉矶的Solid Corrigan健身，早上8点就开始锻炼了。
I also went to solid Corrigan in LA bright and early 8AM on my workout grind.
不过你并不喜欢那节课吧。
You didn't like that class, though.
我确实不喜欢那节课。
I did not like that class.
我可真是节俭。
I'm be so frugal.
我浑身都疼。
I'm really sore.
我就是感觉那里有点不对劲。
I just feel like something was just off there.
首先，我不喜欢被人触碰。
First of all, I don't like being touched.
而且我觉得教练通常会询问，比如是否有人不喜欢被触碰或纠正，我就是那种人——能来上健身课本身就已经是个成就了。
And I feel like instructors normally ask, like, if you don't someone like not like to be touched or corrected, I'm one of those people like me making it to the workout class is already an accomplishment in itself.
我不需要被触碰或纠正，但她碰了我一次、两次、三次，总共三次。
I don't need to be touched or corrected and she touched me one, two, three, three times.
第四次之后，我就说：嘿，我不喜欢被碰。
I was after number four, I was like, hey, I don't like to be touched.
要知道，让我说出这句话需要很大勇气，因为我很容易焦虑。
And like, it takes a lot for me to say that because I get a lot of anxiety.
但我当时想：不能再这样了。
But I was like, no more.
要么说出来，要么直接走出教室。
If I'm gonna either say this or walk out of this class.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后我们刚刚做完的那些动作，
And there was just we did.
有些动作做的时候全身都绷得特别紧。
So some of the moves we were doing, there was so much tension.
我当时就觉得，根据你上的课程数量，她给的弹簧数量和颜色都不准确，就像突然脱落一样，我就想，这不应该这么疼才对。
I was like, I don't think she gave the accurate amount or color of springs based off the amount of classes you go to it just like it fell off like I was like, this shouldn't feel as painful as it does.
那是一种酸痛的感觉。
It was like a type of soreness.
感觉就是不对劲。
It felt like it was just wrong.
我不喜欢的是有时候去上课完全取决于你和教练的默契程度。
I didn't love there's sometimes when you just go it just depends on your vibe with an instructor.
但就我个人而言，她人还是挺好的。
But I personally she was she was kind.
是啊。
Yeah.
不是我的菜。
Wasn't my clock.
我不喜欢我们做的那些动作。
I didn't love the like moves we were doing.
有些动作要么太难了，你会想，兄弟，我知道这个核心训练本来就应该很难。
Like some of them either felt like, yeah, like too hard where you're like, bro, like I know this like solid core is supposed to be hard.
别误会。
Don't get me wrong.
但有时候如果你连一个动作都做不了，至少应该能不间断做三个再休息。
But sometimes it's like when you're not even able to do a rep, you should be able to do at least three without like being then take a break.
如果你连一个动作都做不了就得休息，那强度就太大了，我当时已经绷得太紧了。
If you like can literally not even do one without needing to take a break, like that is too many, like, and I was already Too much tension.
我就是这个意思。
That's what I'm saying.
而且我已经比平时减少了弹簧训练，连我的课程都减少了，因为我觉得那样太多了。
And I was already doing less springs than, like, my classes even work because I felt like that was too much.
我当时就觉得，这感觉不太对劲。
And I was like, this does not feel right.
比如，我环顾四周。
Like, I was looking around.
我周围的每个人
Everyone around me
都在挣扎。
was, like, struggling.
就是
It just
感觉不对劲。
seems off.
是啊。
Yeah.
但这也太奇怪了，因为我们走到沙拉核餐厅，而洛杉矶根本就不是个适合步行的城市。
But it's also just so weird because, like, we, like, walked to Saladcore and, like, LA just is not a walkable city.
不，他们确实不适合步行。
No, like they're not.
而且我觉得我无法生活在一个适合步行的城市里。
And I just don't think I could live in a walkable city.
我觉得这就是我喜欢纽约的一个原因。
I think that's like one thing I just love about New York.
我喜欢可以到处走走的感觉，纽约的步行便利性让我非常喜欢。
Love being able to walk everywhere and how it just like, I love it being walkable.
这对我来说非常重要。
It's like huge for me.
停车真是烦人，在弗吉尼亚停车还算好，毕竟总能找到停车位。
Parking is so annoying, especially parking in like Virginia is one thing because there's, like, always parking spots and stuff.
但要是在该死的洛杉矶停车，那简直太痛苦了。
But trying to park in, like, freaking LA, like, it's so miserable.
就是...我也不知道怎么说。
And it just is like, I don't know.
你知道吗？
You know what?
我前几天还说过，我意识到我们俩从来没吵过架。
I also said this the other day, but I realized me and you haven't fought.
我们真的从来没有真正吵过架。
Like, we never really fight.
最多就是争论后可能一整天不说话。
Like, we would get like in an argument where we wouldn't talk for like a day.
是啊。
Yeah.
我在想，我都记不清上次我们一整天不说话是什么时候了，或者有争执却没有当场解决的情况。
And like, I was thinking, I say, I can't remember the last time that me and you like didn't talk for a day or like not in the argument and like didn't settle it like right then and there.
我同意。
I agree.
我觉得如果我们对某事感到不满，就会直接说出来。
I feel like we just if we are annoyed with something, we just like say it.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且我觉得我们以前也会这样做，但需要一两天时间才能达到那种状态。
And I feel we would do that before, but it would take like a day or two to get to like that point.
没错。
Yeah.
但我觉得现在我们...我感觉过去一年我们的友谊真的成熟了很多。
But I feel like now like we've just got I feel like we've really matured in our friendship over the past year.
是的，我也这么认为。
Yeah, I think so.
我想这也和我们的事业变得更严肃有关，比如共享助理之类的。
I think it's also like with how more serious our business has gotten, like sharing an assistant and stuff.
这就像迫使我们...倒不是说以前不成熟，而是要更妥善地处理事情。
It's like forced us to also just like, not even weren't grown up before, but just like deal with things and be more.
是啊。
Yeah.
你懂我意思吧？
You know?
不，我完全同意。
No, I definitely agree.
很多。
Much.
是啊。
Yeah.
切片。
Slice.
是啊。
Yeah.
我只是想说这个。
I just wanted to say that.
句号。
Period.
我以为你是...我不确定你是否有什么要说的。
I thought you're I didn't know if you had something to go up.
我只是...上周我得摸摸自己的鼻子。
I was just I had to pet my nose from last week.
真的。
Real.
不。
No.
我同意。
I agree.
我也讨厌那种感觉。
I also hate the feeling.
我不知道我记下了什么。
I don't know what something I wrote this down.
虽然不知道为何记下这个，但最近发生的事让我想起那种感觉——就像你妈妈在商店遇到熟人，而你拼命想问她‘那人是谁’时的场景。
I don't know why I wrote it down though, but there was something that happened recently where it was giving the vibe of like when your mom sees someone in the store and like you're trying to like tell her like like what was that?
对，你会说‘妈，我们走吧’。
Yeah, you you're like, mom, let's go.
就是那种情况。
Like, type of thing.
但因为是你妈妈偶遇熟人，我实在想不起来当时为何要记下这个。
But because your mom runs into someone, but I can't remember, like, what I wrote that down because of
我懂。
I know.
我想不起来了。
I can't remember.
但我觉得这确实是大家共同的经历。
But I feel like that is such a shared experience.
是啊。
Yeah.
你妈妈在杂货店能喋喋不休聊上整整半小时，而你在冷冻食品区又冷又无聊。
Your mom won't shut the fuck up in the grocery store for, like, literally thirty minutes, and you're just so bored and you're, like, freezing in the freezer aisle.
没错。
Yeah.
她会问‘我们可以...’
She's like, can we
离开？
leave?
确实，我现在明白了，因为，就像，如果我碰到某人，我就会那样做。
Granted, I get it now because, like, if I ran into somebody, like, I do that.
是啊。
Yeah.
我，就是，说话时间太长了，而且，嗯对。
I, like, talk for way too long and, like yeah.
我觉得这就像是大家共有的经历。
I think it's just, like, a shared experience among everybody.
对啊。
Yeah.
就像有人总是这样不停地跟所有人打招呼。
Like when someone just like notes everybody in this constantly.
所以我觉得可能是凯文。
So I think it might have been Kevin.
我觉得可能是凯文做了什么，因为无论我们去哪，他都认识人或者碰到谁，我完全搞不懂。
I think Kevin might have done something because he matter where we go, he knows someone or runs into somebody I don't understand.
那是在一场曲棍球比赛时。
It was with a hockey game.
好吧。
Okay.
我当时就觉得，
And I was like,
嘿，这真有趣。
hey, that's funny.
就这样。
Period.
你这周有什么安排吗？
Do you have anything for this week?
他们抓到了抢劫直播的人？
She they caught people who like robbed the live?
是的，他们抓到了。
Yeah, they did.
我怎么没看到这个？
How have I not seen this?
好吧，我这么说。
Okay, I say that.
我是不是在抖音上看到过这个说法？
Did I see a tick tock saying that?
是的。
Yes.
这完全准确吗？
Is it fully accurate?
等等。
Wait.
我看到他们抓到了人。
I saw that they caught people.
哦，就这样。
Oh, period.
说实话，我很想了解更多。
I would love to know more on that, honestly.
是啊。
Yeah.
整件事对我来说太有趣了。
That whole thing is so interesting to me.
就是，卢浮宫那场盗窃案。
The, like, heist at the Louvre.
首先，我就是不明白他们怎么能逃脱的。
One, I just like don't understand how you get away with that.
嗯，我想他们没逃掉。
Well, I guess you don't.
是啊，我好奇他们是怎么被抓的。
Well, yeah, I wonder how they caught them.
我就是不理解他们怎么开始驾车逃逸的。
I just don't understand how they started driving off.
当时可没有交通摄像头追踪他们去向。
There's not like traffic cameras to track where they went.
肯定有的。
There must have.
我不知道他们最后怎么落网的，但显然确实被抓了。
I don't know how they ended up catching them, but apparently they did.
这就是关于它的一些情况。
And that's something about it.
我需要去了解一下
I'm gonna need to look into
这周末的马拉松，这很疯狂，因为大约一年前有一期节目里我说过，你知道吗？
the marathon this weekend, which is crazy because there is an episode about a year ago where I was like, you know what?
我想我要开始跑步了。
I think I'm gonna get into running.
过去这一年我一次都没跑过。
I I never once ran this past year.
马拉松的时间选得真不巧。
Unfair timing for the marathon.
比如，如果你万圣节想办个停电活动怎么办？
Like, you what if you want a blackout on Halloween?
我想你...我想你会，比如说，权衡轻重然后选择你的战斗，就像
I guess you I I guess you'd, like, pick and choose your battles and, like
你显然不会那么做。
You're not doing that, obviously.
你正在为马拉松做准备，并且要早睡。
You're, like, preparing and going to sleep early for the marathon.
是啊。
Yeah.
我个人是绝对跑不了马拉松的。
I personally could I could never run a marathon.
我靠。
Holy shit.
我永远都做不到。
It's never happening for me.
我我我觉得如果，比如，我们把它变成一件'我们'的事，我可能会被说服。
I I I think I could be convinced if, like, you we were if it was, like, a an Us thing.
就像，我怎么能被说服去上核心训练课？
Like, how I can be convinced to go to solid core?
不。
No.
是你硬拉我去的。
You drag me there.
如果，比如，你开始跑步，我可能会，呃，觉得还行吧。
If, like, you became a runner, I think I might, like, be like, uh-huh.
看完布雷特的相关内容后，感觉完全没有吸引力。
After watching, like, Brett's content on it, just nothing looks appealing about it.
她让它看起来很有趣。
She makes it seem fun.
是啊。
Yeah.
但她好像不喜欢她最近那次。
But she like didn't like her last one.
嗯，但那不是她能控制的。
Well, but that's like out of her control.
那部分我当时想，我觉得我无法承受这种失望。
That that part I was like, I don't think I I can deal with the disappointment.
就是，为某件事付出那么多努力，结果却超出我的掌控。
It's like, work so hard for something, and then it's, out of my control.
事情没有按照我预想的方向发展。
It doesn't go the way that I thought I did.
我觉得她其实很在意时间和这些事，因为她确实是个跑步爱好者。
I think she cares actually about her time and stuff because she's actually a runner.
是啊。
Yeah.
我觉得如果我们就这样走过终点线，我们会说'就这样吧'。
I think if we just walked across that finish line, we'd be like Period.
不行。
No.
百分之百不行。
A 100%.
但我是说，她每天的跑步之类的，让我觉得这几乎很有吸引力。
But I'm saying, like, her daily runs and, like, all that, she makes it seem like almost appetizing to me.
是啊。
Yeah.
但我觉得你刚才应该搅拌一下那个，就像...
But I think you had to like stir that a while ago to like
我绝对不会做的。
I'm never doing it.
我就是想说，我感觉自己就像，哦，就是，
I'm just saying like, I get I'm like, oh, like,
我一直都很讨厌它，甚至在高中那会儿也是。
I'm I always hated it even in like high school and stuff.
参加过田径队。
Did like track.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
但我真的真的不行，实际上我高中没参加田径队。
And I just really, really could not actually, I didn't do I didn't do track in high school.
我初中时参加过，
I did it in middle school,
不过无所谓啦。
but whatever.
我练的是跳远。
I did the long jump.
基本上就只练了这个。
That was it, basically.
好吧。
Okay.
我曾试图成为
And I tried to be
一名短跑选手，但有些女生跑得比我快。
a sprinter, but there were girls that were faster than me.
是啊。
Yeah.
我练跨栏的。
I did hurdles.
我他妈永远都不会原谅这个老师。
I will never ever fucking forgive this teacher.
我没开玩笑，因为那会儿我才七年级。
I'm not fucking kidding because I was in seventh grade.
我打垒球，那可是我的强项。
I played softball like that was my sport.
但我觉得垒球可能在另一边，不对。
But since I think softball was on the other no.
我们学校的垒球教练就在我初中。
The softball coach at my school was in my middle school.
真抱歉。
I'm sorry.
你眼镜脏得要命。
Your glasses are so fucking dirty.
我知道它们真的很脏。
I know they're really dirty.
我就是懒得去擦。
I just, like, don't care to fix that.
但我现在几乎看不清东西了。
But I I can barely see it right now.
我实话实说。
I'm gonna be honest.
我就是，那个，不太想。
I just, like, kind of no.
别清理它们。
Don't clean them.
见鬼，我甚至没法看着它们还伸懒腰
Look Hell, I can't even look at them and stretch
随它们去吧。
Let them go.
我就喜欢它们这样。
I like them like this.
该死的，把它们清理干净。
Hell, clean them.
真是的，我都没法直视你。
It's I can't even look at you.
好吧，那就别看我了。
Okay, don't look at me.
看着镜头。
Look at the camera.
总之，我喜欢这个，只需要两秒钟。
Anyway, I like I it takes two seconds.
不，我就喜欢这样因为
No, I like it like this because
你喜欢眼镜上布满小圆点。
you like having dots all over your glasses.
是的。
Yes.
为什么？
Why?
因为我现在脸看起来很丑，这样能遮住它。
Because my face looks fugly right now and this, like, covers it.
就像我
Like, I
没有小圆点也能遮住。
It'll cover it without dots.
不。
No.
需要弄脏点，这样别人就真的看不清了。
It, like, needed to be smudged so nobody can actually look.
天啊。
My god.
这就像现实生活中的空气模糊效果。
It's like it's like air rush in real life.
你看不清，就像把我的脸模糊处理了一样。
As you can't see and it's like it's like blurring my face.
我没化妆。
I have no makeup on.
总之，我中学的垒球教练真是个贱人。
So but anyway, the middle school softball coach at my school was such a bitch.
我六年级时参加过。
I did it in sixth grade.
然后我父母基本上就是，好吧。
And then my parents were basically like, okay.
你甚至都没坚持到七年级。
You're not even doing it for seven.
虽然那是我的运动项目，我确实参加过，怎么说来着？
Even though that was my sport, like, I did it, like what's the word?
就是全年都在打的那种。
Like, year round.
他们就只会说'是啊'。
Like, they're like Yeah.
我当时在一个很强的队伍里打球。
I played, like, on a really good team.
你懂我意思吗？
You know what I'm saying?
那是什么？
What's that?
我觉得应该还有个词来形容它。
I feel like there's another word for it.
比如，联赛。
Like, league.
我不知道。
I don't know.
比如，全明星那种？
Like, all star?
我不是——我是说，我不知道那是什么。
I wasn't I mean, I don't know what it was.
随便吧。
Like, whatever.
管它是什么
Whatever it
了。
was.
我每个周末都参加锦标赛。
I I did tournaments every weekend.
你知道的，我在一个队伍里，就那样吧。
You know, I was on a team and, like, whatever.
总之，但我没坚持下去。
And anyway so but I didn't do it.
我上中学时因为教练太混蛋了，而且我们队也真的很差劲。
I'm in middle school because the coach was such a bitch, and our team also was, like, really bad.
所以我决定改练田径。
So I just decided to do track instead.
我这辈子从没练过田径或跑步之类的，但我速度挺快，特别想练短跑。
I'd never done track or ran or done anything in my whole life, but I was like pretty fast and I really wanted to do like sprinting.
所以他们让我做一些短跑之类的项目。
So they would let me do some sprinting and stuff.
但最终，有些女孩就是比我快那么一点点。
But ultimately, there were girls that were just a little bit faster.
我是说，我可能在比赛中拿个第五名之类的，但从来没赢过。
Mean, like I could maybe place like fifth or something in a race, but I was never going to win.
不过我还参加了跳远。
But I also did long jump.
我在这方面挺在行的。
I was pretty good at that.
每次都能拿到名次。
It would always place.
通常能拿个第三名。
I would get like third.
能为团队贡献一些积分。
I'd get some points for the team.
但你知道，我虽然是个总能拿名次的实力选手，但就是拿不到第一名。
But like was I, know, I was like a really I was like a strong person that would always place, but like I wasn't getting first place anyway.
所以这就是我参加的两个项目。
But so those are the two things I did.
基本上在训练时我只练习跳远。
Like I only practiced basically long jump in practice.
有一天要参加比赛。
There's a meet one day.
他们完全让我参加跨栏比赛。
They fully put me in the hurdles.
我这辈子从没跨过栏。
I have never jumped a hurdle in my entire life.
有一次训练中，一次都没成功。
One time in a practice, not one.
他们让我参加这个比赛项目。
They put me in this as a race.
我当时真的超级紧张，但他们让我觉得‘你能行的’。
I'm like, I'm genuinely like, I'm so nervous, but they're just making me feel like, Okay, like you got it.
我就想，好吧，也许我真能行。
And I'm like, all right, I guess I do.
大概就是跑起来然后跳过去，显然是这样。
Like, I guess you just run and jump, obviously.
天啊，当然了。
Oh my God, of course.
我甚至不知道栏杆有多高。
Like, never even I didn't know the height.
也不知道跑道有多长。
Like, I didn't know the depth.
这是我人生第一次尝试，我拼命跑得最快，因为不想丢脸。
Like, I was just like doing it for the first time ever, and I'm trying to run as fast as I can because, like, I don't wanna be embarrassed.
结果反而更丢脸了。
I ended up being more embarrassed.
我当初就该慢慢来，拿个最后一名就算了。
I should have just, like, gotten last place and gone slow.
我他妈摔得也太惨了。
I fucking ate shit so badly.
教练们只是...那个...我很抱歉。
And the coaches just kinda, like I'm sorry.
你本该走过来向我道歉，说我们真不该这么安排的。
You should have walked your ass over to me, apologized and be like, you know, we should not have done that.
我们都知道你连一次练习都没做过。
We know you haven't even practiced this literally one time.
我觉得他们就是缺人，因为这个项目不太热门。
I think they just like didn't have somebody for it because it wasn't a very popular event.
他们就直接把我塞进去充数。
And they just like threw me in to fill it.
但至少该提前几天告诉我：海莉，我们实在找不到人
But like, I'm sorry, you should have at least told me, Hallie, a couple days prior, we don't really have anybody
来做这个。
for this.
我们会让你练习几次，然后
We're gonna have you practice this a couple of times, and
就让你上场。
we're going to do you.
我当时气炸了。
I was so pissed.
他们再也没让我参加过，但我永远忘不了那件事。
They never put me in it again, but I will never forget that.
那简直太丢人了。
That was literally so humiliating.
他们用高尔夫球车来接我，我的脸和全身都是血。
They picked me up on like a golf cart and like my face and everything was like bloody.
我当时还试图装作没事，你知道的，就像你哭的时候别人问'你还好吗'那种感觉。
And I was like trying to act like, you know, like when you're like crying and people are like, are you okay?
你就，就像，他们在问你
You're like, like, they're asking you
崩溃了没。
to break down.
真的，你连话都说不出来。
Literally, you can't even get the words.
我就说，其实一点都不疼。
I'm like, it didn't even hurt.
不，疼死了。
No, that fucking hurt.
我跨栏时也摔得很惨，不过是高中时候的事了，所以更丢人。
I also ate shit during during hurdles, but it was in high school, so it was like more humiliating.
是啊，那更糟。
Yeah, that is worse.
我当时好像是高一新生，也摔得很惨。
I was like, I think I like a freshman in high school and I like ate shit too.
我当时大概是在上初中。
I was I was doing maybe maybe maybe it was middle school.
但我表现得很好，在训练中很出色，后来我想我只是承受不了压力。
But I was, like, I was doing really well, like, at practices, and then I just I guess I couldn't handle the pressure.
其实我本来做得挺好的，直到后来不行了。
Well, I was actually I was doing, like, really good until I wasn't.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后我就想，我想自杀。
And then I was like, I want to kill myself.
是啊。
Yeah.
这很难，因为你跑得很快，同时还要试着调整
It's hard because you're running really fast and then also trying to, like, match
你的步调，确保在
your footsteps up to be the right, like right before
跨过障碍物之前
to jump over the thing.
这特别难掌握。
Like it is like an especially one to find.
但快到终点时，要确保在高速移动中与跨栏保持合适的起跳距离真的很难。
But when you're getting towards the end too, it's like just so hard to make sure you're the right distance away from the hurdle to start to jump it when you're moving so fast.
这确实是个非常难的项目。
It is like a really hard event.
是啊。
Yeah.
你对婚后分房睡有什么看法？
What are your thoughts on being married and having separate bedrooms?
我看到好多关于这个的视频。
I see so many videos about this.
我个人绝对不会这么做。
I personally would never do this.
而且我想，我从来就没奢侈到有足够空间来考虑这个
I also, I guess, like have never had the luxury of having even kind of enough space for that even to be a
可能性
possible
的问题。
consideration.
显然，住在纽约这种地方，我有个两居室，但我们不可能把这两个房间当成他妈的独立卧室来用。
Obviously, living in New York City and stuff, I have a two bedroom, but we cannot use those two bedrooms on separate fucking bedrooms.
另外我睡眠质量很好，所以我觉得无所谓。
I also like I'm a pretty easy sleeper, so I feel like I don't really care.
说实话，我睡觉时没法搂搂抱抱，被一直碰触。
Look, I can't personally, like, cuddle in my sleep and be like, hella touching.
我会觉得太热又过度刺激，我就喜欢平躺着不被触碰。
I get too hot and overstimulated, and I like to very much just lay on my back and not be touched.
但我没意见。
But I don't have a problem.
就是，我感觉里德和我会，像是，身体紧贴着睡在床的一侧。
Like, I feel like Reid and I will be, like, pressed against each other's bodies, like, on the side.
就是，我们会肩并肩地躺在床上。
Like, his will be, like, shoulder to shoulder in the bed.
你平时睡哪一侧？
What side do sleep on?
我以前睡觉位置很随机的。
I used to sleep on really randomly.
我以前睡一边，后来换边了，现在睡右边，不过我们会换来换去。
I used to sleep on one side and then I switched, and now I sleep on the right side, but, like, we flip flopped.
但感觉这不像是在说'这是我的固定侧'。
But like, feel like it doesn't like, I'm not like, this is my side.
是啊。
Yeah.
这个其实要看情况。
Like, it can kind of depend.
不过我想换回另一侧，因为那边离门远，狗狗们老是在凌晨三点闹着要出去。
I wanna switch back to the other side, though, because it's further from the door and the dogs get up at 3AM all the fucking time to go outside.
谁睡在靠门的位置，谁就会被狗狗吵醒。
And whoever's like closest to the door is the one that's like woken up by the dog.
对啊。
Yeah.
而我现在就是那个离门最近的人。
And I am now currently the one that is nearest to the door.
所以我个人想回到另一边，这样就能叫醒Reid让他带他们出去。
And so I personally would like to go back to the other side so Reid can be woken up and take them out.
因为确实。
Because yeah.
而且他们他妈的根本不需要上厕所。
And they're so fucking they do not have to pee.
还总想在凌晨3点到处乱跑。
Also just wants to run around at 3AM.
这就是为什么我觉得你应该把他交给我。
And that's why I think you should give him to me.
不行。
No.
你会想让他死的。
You would want him dead.
但我是说我凌晨3点也醒着。
I'm saying I I'm up at 3AM, though.
不行。
No.
他会在你睡觉时把你吵醒。
He'd wake you up while you're sleeping.
我告诉你。
I'm telling you.
今早我4点睡觉时他就这么干了。
Did it to me this morning when I went to bed at 4AM.
然后他决定是早上6点。
Then he decides it's 6AM.
那是他想要的时间。
That's when he wants to.
不过我睡得很沉。
I'm a heavy sleeper though.
就是，我醒不过来。
Like, I don't wake up.
比如，每天都是凯文把我叫醒。
Like, Kevin wakes me up every day.
他会把你叫醒的。
He would wake you up.
他不会停下来的。
He will not stop.
我跟你说，我其实愿意起床的。
Like, I'm telling you, it's like, I'd be willing to get up.
你会听到那种轻轻的啪嗒声。
It's the little pitter pat you hear.
真的，这就是我噩梦里会听到的声音。
Like, that is literally what I will hear in my nightmares.
就是他们爪子在地上啪嗒啪嗒的声音，没错。
It's the pitter patters of their claws on the ground Yeah.
就在我睡觉的时候，你能听到他们走向门口，然后听到抓挠声，接着又是抓挠声
While while I'm sleeping and like the and you can hear them going to the door and then you hear the scratching and then you hear scratch
挠啊挠。
scratch scratch.
不过也是。
Though also.
我觉得自己睡眠程度中等吧。
I feel like I'm moderate.
就是，我不是那种特别轻眠的人，一点动静就会惊醒。
Like, I'm not, like, super light where something's gonna, like, crazy wake me up.
但其实我也...等等，我其实算是睡得比较死的类型。
But I'm also not, like, a actually, I am kind of a heavy sleeper.
比如记得里德想进公寓那次，他给我打了18个电话，当时我脑子...可能喝了点酒。
I mean, like, remember when Reid tried to get into the apartment, he called me 18 times when my brain was Maybe it like, I was slightly drinking.
喝酒确实会让我睡得更沉，但我觉得...不知道怎么说。
I mean, drinking definitely makes me more of happy sleeper, but I feel like I don't know.
总之，回到
But anyway, back to the
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