性与大脑封闭术

就像，整整一分钟，一直在喊，宝贝。我只是觉得这太搞笑了。我是个白痴。我知道。没关系。

Like, for a full minute, keeps yelling, babe. I just think it's so funny. I'm an idiot. I know. It's fine.

我想我十几岁的时候经常用‘宝贝’这个词。但现在，我们年纪大了，有了孩子，我想我只是说，嘿，亲爱的。我想那是

I think I used babe a lot when I was, like, a teen. But now that, like, we're older and we have kids, I think I I think I just say, like, hey, hon. I think that's

你说亲爱的？是的。因为我们从16岁起就这么称呼了。

my You say hon? One. Yeah. Because we've said hon since we were 16.

如果我的孩子开始直呼我的名字，我会疯掉的。所以我就是这样

I'm if my kids start calling me by my first name, I'm gonna lose it. So That's what I

我小时候就这么干过。

did when I was a kid.

我的孩子叫我霍莉。

My child calls me Holly.

是啊。我以前叫我妈妈奥蒂，因为我爸爸就这么叫她，因为

Yeah. I used to call my mom, Auti because that's what my dad would call her because it's

真可爱。而且它

that's cute. And it

让她觉得，我记得有次她说，首先

made it be like, I think at one point she said like, first

那次我们玩的时候，我想我哭了。我当时就说，哦，抱歉。

time we did, I think I cried. I was like, oh, sorry.

我可受不了那样。

I will not be able to handle that.

不，我手机里有段视频，是艾玛爬到我背上的。我躺在地板上，手机就放在地毯上录着像，你知道的，她会爬到我背上，站起来，然后一屁股跌坐在我屁股上。虽然疼得要命，但她每次这样做都笑得前仰后合。

No. I have a video on my phone of Emma climbing up on my back. I'm laying on the floor and I just had my phone laying on the carpet, just recording, getting, you know, and she'd climb up on my back. She'd stand up and then she'd fall to her butt onto my butt. And it hurt really bad, but she was laughing hysterically every time that she did it.

每次她这样做时，都会喊‘霍莉，霍莉’。我觉得那是最棒的事了，真有趣。

And anytime she did it, she'd go, Holly, Holly. And I thought it was the best thing ever. Funny.

好吧。

Alright.

我最爱听我的小家伙叫我霍莉了。霍莉。没错，那是妈咪的名字。

I love it when my my my little one calls me Holly. Holly. That's right. That's mommy's name.

好的。看来话题要从孩子转回到性了。怎么

Okay. Going from kids back to sex, apparently. How do

你认为他们是怎么出现的？

you think they come about?

说得好。我确实非常喜欢，我喜欢这一部里的德拉科。这是我最喜欢的德拉科形象之一，因为他既傲慢又带着几分可爱。而且毫无疑问是他先动心的。

Good point. I did really love, I loved Draco in this one. This was a very this is one of my favorite Dracos because he was so sassy, yet, you know, sweet. And he definitely fell first.

哦，哦，是啊。

Oh, Oh, yeah.

那是因为当她决定不留下来时他特别难过。当时她说'不，我得走了'，他就那样...

It was because he was so sad when she wasn't gonna stay. When he was like She's like, no, I've gotta go. And he's like,

哦，好吧好吧。我爱死这段了。当她第一次来庄园检查，走进客厅突然情绪崩溃时，他就带她回自己房间帮她平复。事后他立刻伸手想扶她起床。

oh, okay. Okay. I love it. So when the first time that she comes to the manor to inspect it and she goes into the drawing room and she has a meltdown, you know, and so he takes her back to his room, you know, to do some stuff with her, to help her out. And afterwards he's like immediately like gives her his hand to get up off the bed.

她不肯接受。然后他就问'要吃点零食吗？' '你为什么总想投喂我？别老想着喂我'。记不清原句了，但当时我就想'天啊你在开玩笑吗？'

She won't take it. And then it's like, do you want some snacks? Why are you trying to feed me? Stop trying to feed me. I can't remember if that was the exact point, but he's like and I'm like, oh, are you kidding?

好的，请继续。

Yes, please. And

然后喂我。她回来了，他却没喂她。她就在想，为什么他不喂我我会难过？

then Feed me. She comes back and he doesn't feed her. And she's like, why am I sad that he's not feeding me?

听起来好滑稽。你必须演出来吗？还想看更多吗？抱歉，哦，没了。

Like, that sounds so funny. Did you have to to act out? You wanna see more? Sorry. Oh, it's gone.

特蕾西。但我超爱这段。真的，我超爱。他确实是我最喜欢的德拉科之一。

Tracy. But I love that though. I do. I love, yes. He was one of my favorite Dracos too.

就是，我也说不清。我喜欢被照顾的感觉。而这个德拉科就是这样的，百分之百。

Just, I don't know. I like being taken care of. And that was this Draco. 100%.

我觉得现在很适合插入说明，因为在正常的BDSM关系中——这故事绝对属于这类——主导者通常很擅长事后安抚，这段情节就属于这个范畴。所以他自然而然想这么做并不让我意外。作者也很擅长在章节末尾添加注释，解释BDSM相关概念。如果你刚接触BDSM，我不确定是否该用这个故事入门...

I think this is a good time to put in because in a normal BDSM, because that's what this would definitely fall under, like a relationship, the Dom is very good at, like, the aftercare, and that's what that falls into. And so it it does not it did not surprise me that he just, like, naturally wanted to do that anyways. And so I think that was such a good, like and the author was very good at putting, like, notes at the end of the chapters and explaining, like, BDSM things and stuff like that. So if you're not if that this is new to you, I I don't know if I'd start with this story if you're new to BDSM. But

其实应该先看权威资料。不过...

Actually, like, look at reputable sources. But

是啊。

Yeah.

你知道，这是

You know, this is

这部分在解释和讨论事后护理、情绪低谷及其对男女双方的影响方面做得非常好。对吧。

This still was very good at, like, explaining and, like, talking about aftercare and the drop and how it affects both men and women. Right.

这是不良BDSM礼仪的示例，而这是良好的BDSM礼仪。是的，

This was an example of bad BDSM etiquette, and this was good BDSM etiquette. Yeah, was

解释得非常到位。

very well explained.

我也觉得他们在这方面做得真的很棒。不仅写得极其出色和成熟，而且我觉得用'成熟'来形容某些修正很贴切——要么是幼稚的写作，要么是成熟的写作。我觉得这篇就属于不让人尴尬的成熟写作。

I really felt like they did a really good job with that too. Not only did they write this incredibly well and maturely, but I feel like that's my word for certain fixes. It's either immature writing or it's mature writing. I felt like this was mature writing as far as it wasn't cringey. Yeah.

而且行文流畅度极高，确实如此。他们还特意在每章开头或结尾添加了详细说明。

And it just, it flowed so well. It really did. And they did. They put very specific notes at the end or at the beginning of each chapter to explain.

他们总是列出触发警告，比如是否有额外需要警示的内容，这很贴心。是个很好的预警机制，方便有需要的人跳过。

And they always listed the the trigger warnings, like if there were any additional trigger warnings which is nice. It's a nice warning. It's a nice thing to skip if you have

没有触发警告。所以我觉得我根本没注意章节标题，就是一直在滑动屏幕。

have no trigger warnings. So I don't think I paid attention to a single, like, of the chapter headings. Was just like scrolling.

知道吗，其实我也没有特定的阅读触发点。我很少会被触发情绪。当然偶尔也会有些瞬间让我惊呼‘天哪’或者‘我受不了’这样的情况。

Know, I don't really, I don't, I don't think I really have any specific triggers either from reading. I don't really get triggered. I mean, are moments where I go, oh my gosh. Oh, I can't. I can't.

哦，我得继续读下去。

Oh, I gotta keep reading.

但我不会因此情绪崩溃，这对我来说是好事。不过我知道卡丽·安正坐在那边呢。

But I don't get like, upset by it emotionally, which is good for me. But I know Carrie Ann is sitting over there.

我当时就想，我好像从没对哪本书或故事产生过那种反应。

I was like, I don't think I've ever had that reaction to a book or story. Have.

卡丽·安，我得给你找篇‘死鸽子勿食’类型的故事，如果你读过这类作品的话。

I'll have to I'll have to find you a dead dove do not eat one, Carrie Anne, if you've read one of those.

什么？糟了。这是个标签...听起来真恶心。太糟糕了。

What? Uh-oh. It's a tag. It's a That sounds really gross. It's bad.

我在写

I'm write

记下来。稍等。

it down. Hold on.

那些就是，像是

Those are the, like

拿我的便利贴。

Get my sticky note.

你知道的，我得读一下。

You know, I'm gonna have to read it.

这是什么？

What is it?

所以这个标签叫做死鸽子，请勿食用。我的笔刚才突然写不出来了。

So the tag is called dead dove, do not eat. My pen stopped working for a second.

我们能谈谈那是什么意思吗？

Can we talk about what that means?

我觉得这有点像从好吧。我其实在TikTok上看到过相关解释，视频里说，这完全就是字面意思

I think it's kind of like from okay. I actually saw a TikTok about this, where it was kind of explaining it, and was like, it's exactly what

字面意思。这是个死掉的

it says. It's a dead

这是个死掉的东西。别去碰它，大概这意思。就像，这是最糟糕中的最糟糕。千万别看。

it's a dead thing. Don't consume it, kind of thing. Like, this is so this is the worst of the worst. Do not read it.

输入

Enter

对。输入Carriam。就像，我已经读过

Yeah. Enter Carriam. Like, it's I've read a

几篇 这必须成为标签名。标签需要'输入Carriam'。天啊。

few That needs to be the name of the tag. Tag needs Enter to Carriam. Oh my god.

我真的没听说过。

I really haven't heard mind.

你们都知道吗？我我完全确定有。大概吧。我看到的那个读的不是真正的凯莉·安妮，我见过我没读过它们，但我见过一些可能正合你意的。是的。

You all know? I'm I'm absolutely sure there are. Probably. The one I've seen read wasn't really Carrie Anne, I've seen I haven't read them, but I've seen some ones that might be right up your Yeah.

你应该把它们发过来。

You should send them.

他们在瞒着我

They're holding back on me

这就是我在这里的原因。我只是，我想那是我第一次真正开始搜索关于搜索AO三。就像我开始真的像是在搜索中查看，浏览所有你能搜索的不同内容，然后，所以我把我所有想要的不同东西都列出来了。我想要它是德拉科赫敏。我想要它是这个，你知道，所有这些具体的东西。

is why I'm here. I just, I think it was the first time that I ever actually started searching about searching AO three. Like I started actually like looking in the search and going through all the different things you could search and going, And so like I put all of my different things that I wanted. I wanted it to be Draco Hermione. I wanted it to be this, you know, all these specific things.

然后我点击了搜索。于是我开始浏览它们，我看到了这一个，我就想，哦，不。哦，不。我甚至不是在开玩笑。不。

And then I hit search. And so I started looking through them and I get to this one, and I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no. I'm not even kidding. No.

而且它正合你的口味，因为它让你想到史莱克。哦，天哪。我爱死那个了

And it's right up your alley because it makes you think of Shrek. Oh my god. I love that that's

她与史莱克有关联。哎哟。因为事实并非如此。

what she's associated with is Shrek. Ow. Because that's not what it is.

哎哟。根本不是那么回事。你在搜索那个

Ow. It wasn't anything like that. You searching that

路径？我正在努力。

path? I'm trying.

赫敏，听我说。那是德拉科和赫敏以及他的家养小精灵。

Hermione, listen to me. It was Draco and Hermione and his house elves.

看，我见过一个版本是她和卢修斯·马尔福。

See, I've seen one that was her, and Lucius Malfoy.

哦。

Oh.

然后

And then

我当时就想，哦。我是说，那还不是最

I was like, oh. I mean, that's not the

糟糕的情况，但那个

worst I've seen, but the

家养小精灵真的很。

house elf is really.

谢谢。

Thank you.

我没有那种恋父情结。我是说，除非

I don't I don't have a daddy kink. I mean, unless

我们要吓人一把。我是说就在

We're gonna scare grab. I mean right by the

旁边。抱歉，算了。我甚至不怎么爱赌。

side. Sorry. Never mind. I'm not even a huge gamble.

介意。刻薄

Mind. Mean

我想我没问题。

I guess I have no problem.

很抱歉我在听。我喜欢所有东西。

I'm so sorry for listening. I like everything.

感觉像

Feel like

每件小事我都不喜欢。是的。那真是

every little I don't like. Yeah. That's really

我感觉像是收到了挑战。必须找到一个我们永远找不到的东西。我们永远找不到她不喜欢的东西。

I feel like I've been issued a challenge. Gotta find a We lot will never find it. We're never gonna find one that she doesn't like.

你读过《毒蛇巢穴》吗，卡莉·安？

Did you ever read Den of Vipers, Carrie Ann?

我看了。我看了。让我告诉你。

I did. I did. And let me tell you something.

哦，不。让

Oh, no. Let

我来说吧。我觉得挺好的。我很享受。就像一场你无法移开视线的火车事故。好吧。

me tell you. I It was good. I enjoyed it. It was a train wreck that you can't look away from. Okay.

是什么？是逆后宫。

What is it? Is a reverse harem.

白鞋式。一个女人和多个男人。对。一个女人和

A white shoe. One woman and many men. Yeah. One woman and

四个男人。但每个男人都非常独特，比如他们的性格和做爱方式之类的。当然我最喜欢的是最疯的那个。迪塞尔？是的。

four men. But each men was very, like, individual with, like, how they were and how they had sex and things like that. And my favorite, of course, is the most unhinged one. Diesel? Yes.

等等。我查了一下。现在我看到了哈利波特同人圈，'死鸽勿食'标签下的赫敏·格兰杰和德拉科·马尔福。我需要知道

Okay. Hold on. I I searched it up. I now have Harry Potter fandom, dead dove do not eat with Hermione Granger Granger and Draco Malfoy. I need to know

相当不错。发一个给我。

Pretty good. Send one to me.

找到383个。

383 found.

我不确定会有那么好。

I can't tell it'll be that good.

哦不，它们大部分都会是垃圾。可能只有少数几个片段，糟糕透顶的那种。

Oh, no. They're most of them are gonna be garbage. It'll probably be, like, one shots of, like, terrible, terrible things.

有很多一次性片段

There are a lot of one shots

目前在我的场景里。

so far from my scene.

通常，那些不宜食用的内容都是些最堕落之人的片段。没关系。我确实读过一篇《鱿鱼游戏》的同人，那绝对不宜食用，我不推荐。最后我不得不快进，因为我想知道结局如何。

Usually, dub do not eats are are one shots of, like, the most depraved people. It's fine. I did read a Squid Game one. That was dead dub do not eat, and I do not recommend it. I ended up skipping forward because I was like, I I gotta see how this ends.

这他妈太诡异了。偏偏还是《鱿鱼游戏》这玩意儿。回到这篇同人文。好吧，赫敏试图隐瞒他们的关系让我非常恼火。

This is fucking weird. And Squid Game, of all things, anyway. Back to this fic. Okay. I was very annoyed by Hermione trying to keep them a secret.

我理解短期内需要保密，但这事没完没了地拖下去。我当时就想说，女士，女士啊。

Like, I get it for a while, but it kind of just kept just going. And I was like, ma'am. Ma'am.

我特别欣慰德拉科没有——他倒不是无礼——但他会不断提出这事对他的影响。我就爱这点。是啊，他既不刻薄，但也没逆来顺受。

I'm so glad Draco like, he wouldn't he wasn't being rude about it, but he would keep bringing up, like, how it was affecting him in a way. And so I loved that. Yeah. He wasn't, like, mean, but he also wasn't just, like, taking it.

没错。不过我真的很喜欢家养小精灵莫比。

Yeah. I really liked Moppy the house, though.

就是个配角。但她很可爱。

Just side characters. She was sweet.

西奥。西奥全程失踪。提到他时居然他妈和潘西结婚了。太离谱了。

Theo. Theo was nowhere to be found. She was mentioned married to fucking pansy. That was weird.

确实。对啊，确实是这样。抱歉打断你了，你继续。

That's true. Yeah. That is true. Sorry, I interrupted. Go ahead.

不，我只是想说

No. I was just going to say

因为故事里没有太多配角。整个情节基本上

because there weren't a lot of side characters. Like the story was pretty

都聚焦在他们身上。确实如此。这让我有点联想到《德拉科·马尔福与陷入爱情的可怕折磨》，那本书也是完全以他们为核心展开的。当然，并非绝对如此。

focused on just them. That is true. It reminded me a little bit as, as far as focus like that goes of Draco Malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love. How it was legit, just them centered on just them. I mean, not totally.

因为你看，哈利嘛，我们不是喜欢他就是讨厌他。但在《恶魔手机》里，那个家伙，你只会觉得他是个白痴——因为他本来就是。话说回来，回到莫比的话题。我记下了那句台词，但不确定莫比是'他们'的性别指代。明白吗？

Because I mean, had Harry, we either liked him or we hated him. Whereas in Demat Mobile, he, you just thought he was an idiot because he was. Anyway, anyway, but no, back to Moppy though. I love I wrote down the quote, but I don't know if Moppy is they're a they. Okay?

莫比是'他们'。原文引用：'抱歉，我得去——马尔福少爷召唤莫比了'，然后重点来了——'他可是给家养小精灵付工钱的！'

Moppy is a they. They said, and I quote, sorry, I have to get master Malfoy has asked Moppy, and excuse me, he bloody well pays his elves.

她第一次见到莫比时的场景简直笑死人了。

When she first meets Moppy, it was hilarious.

我知道！我当时就想，这也太搞笑了。好笑之处在于，小精灵显然不想说那句话，但'他可是付工钱的！'我能想象那个画面，就是特别滑稽。

I know. I'm like, oh, that's so funny. And it was funny because it's just like, you know, obviously, the elf doesn't wanna say that, but he bloody well pays his elves. I can see it. And it's just funny.

我当时就想，对，那就是德拉科。没错，德拉科·马尔福。在这段选二的开始，是他第一次准备提案的时候，整个事情还没开始。莫比递给他什么东西，像是他的领带之类的。然后他说，谢谢，莫比。

I'm like, yeah, that's Draco. There we go, Draco Malfoy. And in the beginning of this pick two, it's when he's first going to do his proposal before all of this the whole thing starts. And Moppy hands him something like his tie or something. And he says, thank you, Moppy.

你现在可以退下了，去做你想做的事。莫比笑了笑，然后幻影移形了。接着德拉科就说，它们真是丑得可怕。我就想，对啊。就是这样。

You're excused now, like, you know, to go do whatever you want. And Moppy smiles and this apparates. And then Draco is like, they really were terribly ugly creatures. I'm like, yeah. There we go.

我爱死这个德拉科了。我就是觉得很有趣。但后来，你知道，他必须确保赫敏知道他确实付钱给家养小精灵。确保她知道这一点，这样，你知道，她最终会爱上他。我不确定他这时候是否喜欢她，但这没坏处。

I love this Draco. I just thought it was funny. But then how, you know, he has to make sure that Hermione knows that he bloody well pays his elves. Make sure that she knows that that way, you know, she eventually falls in love with him. I don't know if he liked her at this point, but it didn't hurt.

就这些。

That's all.

抱歉我脑子有点乱。

Sorry for my brain.

不，没关系。关于家养小精灵的。

No. It's okay. On elves.

我在耳机上发现了一个音效功能，特别兴奋。

I found a sound thing on my headset and I got really excited.

我走神了，抱歉。再说个随机的事——我要引用一位叫Trish的人的话，她负责了大量Jermaine的音频修复工作。

I got distracted. I'm sorry. Here's another random thing. And I'm actually going to quote, I think her name is Trish. She is the one who does a lot of the Jermaine audio fix.

她做了很多修复版本，我每个都听了，超爱。她朗读过《Remain Nameless》和拍卖系列，还有《The Dead of Time》。

She'll do a lot of them and I listen to every single one she does. Love them. She reads Remain Nameless, the auction series. There it is. She also does the dead of time.

知道吗？她在Spotify上有《The Dead of Time》的未剪辑版，后来有人做了剪辑版。我专门听未剪辑版找乐子，感觉像和朋友聊天一样。我好可悲啊。总之...

K? She has her unedited version of the dead of time on Spotify, and somebody went through and edited it. I listened to the unedited version so that I can laugh, and it makes me feel like we're friends. I'm so sad. Anyway Yeah.

这大概是我听你说过最心酸的话了。

That was, like, the saddest thing I've ever heard you say.

真高兴啊，我们算什么？可有可无吗？

I'm so glad. What are we, chopped liver?

哎呀，你知道不是的。算了...

Oh, you know you are. No. Anyway

你确定？要是你...

Are we sure? If you

Holly，我向任何想听《时间尽头》的人推荐去听她的未剪辑版本，因为那太搞笑了。真的非常有趣而且精彩。总之，她在读的时候还会发表自己的看法，很棒。我之所以提起并引用她的话，是因为在任何同人小说里——感觉每篇都会引用——Miney这个名字。

Holly I I recommend anybody that go that wants to listen to the dead of time to go and actually listen to her unedited version because it's hilarious. It's just so funny and it's fantastic. Anyway, anyway, and she gives her opinions while she's reading it too. It's great. The only reason I'm bringing this up and quoting her is because anytime in a fan fiction, and I feel like it's quoted in every single one, Miney.

每次提到Miney这个名字，我就会想：Miney。没人喜欢被叫Miney，因为没人这么叫。为什么赫敏会允许别人叫她Miney？为什么她会允许哈利和罗恩叫她Miney？

Anytime the name Miney is mentioned, I go Miney. Nobody likes being called Miney because nobody does. Why why does Hermione allow people to call her miney? Why does she allow Harry and Ron to call her miney?

这太糟糕了。我想在这里插一句，我觉得我知道她为什么允许。让我告诉你，我小时候全名是Carrie Ann。

It's horrible. I would like to insert right here. So I think I know why she allows it. So let me tell you. Growing up, my full name is Carrie Ann.

好的。我的中间名是独立的，不像Carrie Ann那样连在一起。我妈妈非常坚持让人们叫我Carrie Ann，因为她觉得那就是我的名字。

Okay. It my I have a separate middle name. It's not like Carrie Ann. Like, they're not separate. My mom was so insistent that, like, people called me Carrie Ann because she was like, that's your name.

所以直到七年级，如果有人叫我Carrie，我会说：不，我的名字是Carrie Ann。我非常坚持这一点。但到了七年级，就像野火一样，一个人开始这么叫我，然后就蔓延到连老师都这么叫我了。

And so up until, like, seventh grade, if anybody was like, oh, hey, Carrie. I was like, nope. My name is Carrie Ann. I, like, was so insistent on it. But then seventh grade hit, and it was like, I could not stop it.

这就像野火一样。一个人开始叫我Carrie，然后就蔓延到连老师都这么叫了。要一直纠正别人说‘不，我的全名是Carrie Anne，我希望你叫我全名’真的太累了。到了那个地步，我就觉得无所谓了，你们爱怎么叫就怎么叫吧。

It was almost like a wildfire. Like, one person called me, and just like, it spread to the point where, like, teachers were calling me that, and it just it became so much work to try to, like, defend, I guess, in a way of being like, no, my full name is Carrie Anne. I would prefer that you call me that. That it's at at that point, I was like, it doesn't matter. You can call me whatever you want because it doesn't matter.

所以我觉得赫敏的情况也是这样。到了某个时候，坚持让别人叫全名Hermione就太麻烦、太费力了。

So that's where I think the Miami comes in. It's like, at that point, it's too much work, too much hassle to be like, my full name is Hermione.

是哈利和罗恩。好吧，金妮有时也被包括在内，但主要是哈利和罗恩叫她“小甜心”。而我脑海里只能听到罗恩的声音——没人喜欢被翠西叫做“小甜心”。

It's Harry and Ron. Okay. Ginny is included in that sometimes, but it's Harry and Ron that call her miney. And all I can hear in my head is Ron. Nobody likes being called miney from Trish.

每次我看到“小甜心”这个词，就想到没人喜欢被这么称呼。总之

Every time that I read miney, miney, nobody likes being called miney. Anyway

我喜欢你

I like how

的发音方式，就是“小甜心”。嗯哼。因为我会说“小甜心”。

you pronounce it, just miney. Mhmm. Because I would say miney.

每次

Every

我看到这个词，

time I see it,

都是“小甜心”。我说“小甜心”更好听。好吧，这是我不喜欢吉姆·戴尔朗读《哈利·波特》系列的唯一原因，虽然我超爱他演绎的版本。

it's miney. I say miney. It's better. Okay. That is the one thing I don't like about Jim Dale's audio of the Harry Potter series because I love Jim Dale reading Harry Potter.

他叫她赫敏。

He calls her Hermione.

是吗？

He does?

至少在前几本书里他是这么叫的。现在仔细想想，我试图回忆他后来是否改了口，因为我觉得确实改过。此刻听他说话时却想不起来，脑海里听不到那个发音。我只听到赫敏，但我很确定他叫过她赫米·赫敏。我得查查资料确认下

At least for the first few books he does. Now that I'm trying to think about it, I'm trying to remember if he changes it because think he does. Listening to him right now and it's not like, can't hear it in my head. I'm only hearing Hermione, but I'm pretty sure he calls her Hermo Hermione. Have to pull it up and I'll have

到渎神环节了。让你

to Blasphemy. Let you

你只要去听第一本书就会听到，赫敏。对。

I've Just go listen to the first book and you'll go, Hermione. Yeah.

嗯，我是说，好吧。这倒也合理，因为我们这代人前四年左右都叫她赫敏。

Well, I mean, okay. It kind of makes sense because the, our entire generation, Hermione for like the first, like, four years.

为了我的那个。为了我的那个。为了我的那个。

For my one. For my one. For my one.

是啊，所以她

Yeah, that's why she

赫敏的发音，赫敏说，她的波音戈，波音戈。

phonetically Hermione, said Hermione, her boingo, boingo.

在第四本书里，他们特意标注了发音因为人们有疑问。我是说，不是这样的。赫敏在英国显然是个普通名字。或者好吧。

In the fourth book, they phonetically did it because people questioned it. I mean, not That's true. Hermione is a normal name in The UK apparently. Or okay.

是吗？

Is it?

不。但据我所知，他们比我们这些古怪的美国人更早接触这个名字。老实说，别怪他们，因为我们有点缺乏教育。

No. But, like, they got it before us weird Americans did, from what I understand. So which honestly, don't blame them because we're a little uneducated.

我正想说，在哈利波特之前我从没听过赫敏这个名字，但话说回来——

I was gonna say, I'd never heard of the name Hermione before Harry Potter, but then again-

莎士比亚作品里有。

It's in Shakespeare.

第一本《哈利·波特》是什么时候出版的？

When did when did the first Potter book come out?

1998年。

1998.

没错。我当时四岁。完全正确。当然。当然。

Yeah. I was four. Exactly. Of course. Of course.

在那之前我肯定没听过赫敏这个名字。卡丽·安，你是那一年出生的吗？哇哦。我们需要剪掉这段以免暴露你的年龄吗？其实我不介意大家知道我二十多岁。

I would never have heard the name Hermione before then. Is that the year you were born, Carrie Ann? Whoo. Do we need to cut that out so we don't know how old you are? Don't care that people know I'm twenties not now.

我已经不是

I'm no longer

快三十岁了。我离三十岁就差临门一脚。真可怕。我已经到了会永远谎报的年龄。你多大？

in I'm my almost 30. I am so close to 30. It's disgusting. I have reached the age of my life that I will lie about forever. How old are you?

29岁？

29?

天啊。再也回不去了。

My god. Will never be true again.

嘿。我们偏离航线很远了。

Hey. We have beard quite a ways off course.

是啊。好吧。好吧。好吧。我最喜欢的

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. My favorite

抱歉。刚才太咄咄逼人了。我道歉。我最喜欢的引述是他随口说的一句话，在第16章里。

sorry. That was really aggressive. I apologize. I my favorite quote was something that he said is, like, a little offhanded mark remark anyways. It was in chapter 16.

他第一次去她的公寓，她开了个玩笑说，黄鼠狼不准进这里。而他回应道，没关系，反正龙会吃掉黄鼠狼。

He goes to her flat for the first time, and she made a joke of, like, yeah, weasels aren't allowed in here. And he goes, that's fine. Dragons devour weasels anyways.

我喜欢这个，虽然不知道为什么。

Love that. I don't know why.

那段太棒了。因为他根本没多想，就像随口一说，像是，这无所谓，但我想要那样。为什么这种事会发生在我身上？我也不知道。

That was so good. Because it and he wasn't even thinking about it. It was just like a little like, Like, it doesn't matter, but I want that. Why that happened to me? I don't know.

我喜欢他告诉她的那一刻。我不记得她对他说了什么，但他说，赫敏，当我善待你时你却不信任我。我觉得你有信任问题。因为她提到了一些话，嗯，我不认为她说了不信任他。也许她确实这么说了。

I like it when he tells her. I don't remember what she says to him, but he says, Hermione, you don't trust me when I'm nice to you. I think you have trust issues. Because she says something about, well, I I don't think she says she doesn't trust him. May maybe she does.

她只是一直在问，你为什么对我这么好？

She just keeps saying like, why are you being so nice to me?

她说，赫敏，当我善待你时你却不信任我。我觉得你有信任问题。这很有趣。我爱他。

She's like, Hermione, you don't trust me when I'm nice to you. I think you have trust issues. It's just funny. I love him.

显然。

Obviously.

我不

I don't

认为这个播客会存在

think this podcast would be a thing

如果你这么想的话。好吧。我记不清是哪一章了，但就是那一章里，他们之间充满了俏皮的斗嘴。那是她第一次或唯一一次出现在他的魔药实验室时。他开始和她交谈，他们你来我往地斗嘴，充满了轻松的氛围。

if you do. Okay. I can't remember which chapter it is, but it is the one chapter where it's like, have so much playful banter going back and forth. It's when she shows up and she goes to his potions lab for the first time or the only time. But like he starts like they're, they're talking or whatever and his play for playful banter, but they're just going back and forth or whatever.

看，我没记下她说了什么，但他对她说了些话。他回头看着她，好像在说，我生你气了。而她回应，你在开玩笑吧。他说，不，我不记得了。天啊，那真是太有趣了。

See, and I didn't write down what she said, but he says something to her. He looks back at her and he's like, I'm mad at you. And she's like, you're kidding. He's like, no, I can't remember. Man, it was so funny.

是啊。我不得不插话。他说，我生你气了。然后她说，我我才是该生气的那个人。

Yeah. I had to just pull up. He goes, I'm mad at you. And she goes, I I should be the one mad at you.

没错。那真的挺有趣的，很可爱。整个章节都非常温馨，我真的很喜欢。抱歉。

Yes. Like, that's pretty funny. That's cute. That whole chapter was just really cute, and I really liked it. I'm sorry.

我正想翻出来看呢。你怎么敢这样？

I'm looking to pull it up. How dare you?

让我看看笔记上还有什么其他想聊的内容。

Let's see if there's anything else left on my notes that I wanted to talk about.

我只有结局部分。但我等着。聊聊结局吧。嗯哼。求你了。

All I have is the ending. But I'm waiting. Talk about the ending. Mhmm. Beg.

太喜欢了。

Loved that.

我用薰衣草色写下了‘操罗恩’。

I wrote fuck Ron in Lavender.

天啊。我讨厌——哦，没错。

Oh my gosh. I hate Oh, yeah.

我讨厌薰衣草。在这篇同人里她其实没那么糟，但现实中她恶劣多了。

I hate Lavender. She actually didn't think she was that bad in this fic. She's so much worse.

她在故事里出场时，总在刻意激怒她的闺蜜。

Shows up in it. She is like trying to aggravate her biony.

是啊，而且几乎像是在博取同情，比如‘哦，你最近有约会对象吗？’这类话。

Yeah. And like, almost like try to make people pity her of like, oh, are you seeing anyone these days?

对。想从那个贱人嘴里套话。嗯哼。这就是我的感受。但我喜欢她直接站起来走掉的样子。

Yes. Trying to pull it out of her fucking bitch. Mhmm. It's exactly how I felt. But then I like that she just stands up and she just leaves.

她说：知道吗？我今晚拒绝了他的约会邀请，这就是我的态度。

She goes, you know what? I turned him down for a date tonight, and I think that's where I am.

完成了。是的。

Done. Yeah.

我就在那儿。对。那我走了。嗯。好的。

I'm right there. Right. I'm off then. Yep. Okay.

就这些。这些也在第15章里。

That's all. That's in chapter 15 too.

行。快点。结局是什么？你有什么笔记？是的。

K. Come on. What's the ending? What do you what what what notes do you have? Yes.

我觉得后记很可爱。我喜欢。

I thought the epilogue was cute. I liked it.

太突兀了。

It was too abrupt.

谢谢。啊，谢谢。我说过讨厌这个后记。太蠢了。

Thank you. Ah, thank you. Said I hated this epilogue. It was so stupid.

你讨厌它吗？

You hated it?

是的。我做到了。我是说，它很可爱。它把所有东西都漂亮地包装了起来

Yes. I did it. I mean, it was cute. It wrapped everything up in a pretty little

以为你会讨厌它。我很惊讶。我

thought you were gonna hate it. I'm surprised. I

想要更多。太短了。我想要更多痛苦挣扎的情节。

want it. Short. I wanted more angst.

我希望剧情能更直白些。是的。

I wanted it more spelled out. Yep.

太...我想要那个场景。我想要他爆发，威胁要揭露她的秘密，你知道的，类似那种激烈的冲突。就是更多的痛苦挣扎。虽然很可爱，但我想要更多。

Too like, I wanted that scene. I wanted him to blow up and like, threaten to like out her secret, you know, like shit like that. Just more angst. It was I mean, it was cute. I wanted more.

他们...我几乎感觉他们就像是，好吧，这个故事我讲完了，就这样收尾吧。这就是我的感受，因为虽然收尾得很好，确实有效果，但我也觉得我需要更多。我想要更多。

They like, I I almost feel like the they were just like, okay, I'm done with this story. Let me just wrap it up. And that's just kinda how I felt that I was like, oh, because they wrapped it up well. It worked, but I was also like, I need more. I want more.

是啊。

So yeah.

是在第15章。真的很抱歉。我

It was in chapter 15. I'm so sorry. I

正在看。

am. I'm looking.

好的。好的。

Okay. Okay.

哦，我本来很想多了解那些该死的独角兽。就像他存在的全部理由

Oh, I would have loved to know more about the damn unicorns. Like the whole reason for him to be around

是这样的，我确实在尝试评分时记下了笔记。这个故事从我的角度来看评分并不高，因为我觉得它在很多方面都有所欠缺，比如独角兽的部分。我是说，感觉他们本可以做得更多，但与此同时，我也觉得这篇同人文是为聪明人准备的。我认为它显然在这方面做到了满分。所以，但同时我又在想，你知道吗？

was like So I, I did write down when I went to try to rate this. The story did not get a very high rating from, from my point of view because I felt like it lacked in that as far as a lot of different avenues were concerned, the unicorns. I mean, I felt like there was like a lot more that they could have done, but at the same time, I also felt like this fic was meant for smart. It was meant, I think it was meant for smart and well, I think obviously they did a 10 out of 10 in that department. So I, but I'm at the same time, I'm like, you know what?

我觉得他们完全可以把这篇作品写得更长，扩展成一个更长的故事，并真正打造成一部佳作。我认为这是有可能的，但我确实感觉它在故事性上有所不足。在很多方面都是如此，独角兽就是其中之一。

I feel like they could have absolutely have made this longer, made it a longer fic and actually made it into a really good story. I think it could have happened, but I definitely did feel like it lacked in the story department. As far as a lot of things are concerned, unicorns is one of them.

我想，某种程度上，我会想多看些那本书的内容。那本性爱之书。

I guess, in a way, I would wanna see more of the book. The sex book.

它们它们就像魔法构造体。是的。我原本想得更多些。

They're they're like magic conster. Yeah. I thought that more.

感觉就像只是轻描淡写地提了句，哦对了，这是性爱之书。对。这就是我们魔法生效的原因。我就觉得

It felt like it was just a little bit like, oh yeah, by the way, here's sex book. Yeah. This is why our magic works. I'm like

我觉得他们在避免让它显得俗套方面做得很好。通常这类内容加入同人文时，要么超级老套，要么就像这样。而我更喜欢这种处理方式。

I felt like they did a good job at making it not corny. I feel like when stuff like that is added to a fic like this, it's either super corny or it's like this. And I much prefer this.

那倒不至于这么老套。

That's just not so corny.

我最近看了一篇同人小说，等等。我最近看了一篇同人小说，我想我跟你们提过，就是最近的事。

I read, I read a fic recently. Hang on. I read a fic recently. I think I told you guys about it. It was just recent.

我不会说出小说名字，但每次他们接吻或有身体接触时...

I won't name the fic, but, like, it was anytime they kissed or touched sexually.

哦，没错。确实如此。

Oh, that's right. That's right.

出来然后，互相依偎，依偎着它们。而我就在想，真尴尬。呃。感觉这是同样的思维过程，不过做得不错。是的。

Come out and, like, snuggle each other and snuggle them. And I'm going, cringe. Ugh. I feel like this is the same thought process, but well done. Yeah.

这个做得确实不错。

This was this was well done.

我确实觉得它有点随机，就像，哦，交配纽带，尽管事实并非如此。我只是把它比作这个。我觉得这非常随机，有点出乎意料，然后它就，就这样结束了。所以它出现了又结束了。就是这样。

I did find it random that it's like, oh, mating bond, even though it's not what it is. That's just the thing I'm equating it to. I found it very random, and just kind of out of left field, and then it, like, ended. So it came up and it ended. So it was yeah.

有点意思。

It was a little bit interesting.

我找到了那一章。是第14章。第14章。非常抱歉。我能打断一下吗？

I found the chapter. It's chapter 14. Chapter 14. I'm so sorry. Can I interrupt?

我已经这么做了。我道歉。不。好吧。只是他们可爱又俏皮的斗嘴。

I already did. I apologize. No. Okay. Just their cute playful banter.

德拉科？现在又回到德拉科了是吗？给我个数字。940。我不是这个意思。

Draco? Back to Draco now, am I? Give me a number. 940. That's not what I meant.

我是问在哈利面前炫耀这事有多重要？按1到10分制还是百分制？132分制。不，这太高了。

I meant how important is it rubbing this in Harry's face? On a scale of one to 10 or out of a 100? Out of a 132. No. That's too high.

24.5分。所以你和我睡觉有四分之一原因是为了在哈利面前显摆。梅林啊，不是。如果这就是你说的数字含义，那这事大概有八分，如果我特别得意的话可能九分。最终答案。

24 and a half. So a quarter of the reason you're sleeping with me is to dangle it in front of Harry. Merlin, no. If that's what you mean by a number, in this case, it's an eight, maybe a nine if I'm feeling particularly smug. Final answer.

我只是觉得太可爱了。他们这章里所有的互动都可爱又好笑。就这样。抱歉，我必须提这个。

I just think it's so cute. Their whole their whole interaction in this chapter is just so cute and it's funny. That's all. Sorry. I had to find it.

谢谢。不客气。我觉得今晚我有点特别尴尬，所以道歉。不过说回尾声，它实在太短了。

Thank you. You're so welcome. I feel like I'm I'm a little extra cringey tonight, so I apologize. Back to the epilogue, though. It was absolutely too short.

我还想要更多。

I wanted more.

我只是说我喜欢而已。就这样。我需要

I just said I liked it. That's all. Do I need

不过我认为这是件好事，我和霍莉都说它太短了，因为这意味着它足够好，让我们想要更多。是的。所以，

to I think turn it's a good thing though, that we are both me and Holly said it was too short, because that means it was good enough that we wanted more. Yes. So,

它是

it was

是的。从某种意义上来说，它很棒。

Yeah. It was good in that, you know, way.

是啊。我想是吧。

Yeah. I guess.

是的。我确实喜欢德拉科和赫敏最终结婚的情节。确实如此。我也是。我很喜欢。

Yeah. I do like it when Draco and Hermione end up married. That's true. Me too. I do like it.

我也是。

Me too.

太可爱了。让我心花怒放。小心脏扑通扑通跳。

It's so cute. I get all Twitter pated. Little fanny flutters. The

读这个故事时我感受到的阵阵心悸。

amount of fanny flutters I have reading this story.

我讨厌

I hate

太多了。我那些敏感部位都有些酥麻感。

so much. I got a little tingly in my tingly places.

它们太棒了。

They're so good.

我每次都要说。我还听过另一个版本。

I'm gonna say it every time. There was another one that I heard.

另一个版本，比如，推特上渐渐消失的那个。

Another one, like, Twitter faded.

不。不是。我说的是那种，心悸的感觉。

No. No. Like, fanny flutters.

就像是'耶，芳妮扑腾'这种感觉。

It was like Yeah. Fanny flutters.

小跑发痒之类的。总之是些特别蠢的话。

Trot tickles or something like that. It was something really dumb.

不。我的天啊。

No. Oh my god.

不。好吧，现在我觉得我得说这类话了。

No. Well, now I feel like I need to say those kind of things.

不过说真的，我超爱这个词。我经常用，傻逼。

I do love that word, though I won't lie. I use it a lot, twat.

我也是。

I do too.

这算不算黑话？我们能说这是俚语吗？能这么说吗？

Is that like a slurk? Are we allowed to say It's slang. Are we allowed to say that?

这是'不'，英国俚语，就像在说那个C开头的词。真的吗？那就是个蠢货。

It's No, British slang, it's like saying the c word. That's what Really? It That's that's a twat.

这是'哦'，好吧，嗯。不，我知道。我只是...我想我只是把二加二凑一起了。

It's the Oh, well, yeah. Okay. No. I knew that. I just I guess I'll just say put two and two together.

我就是个白痴。

I'm just a dumbass.

是啊。我经常这么叫人。'蠢货华夫饼'挺常用的。不知道为什么。初中就开始这么说了。

Yeah. I I call people that a lot. Twat waffle is a pretty normal one. Don't know why. Started saying that in junior high.

从没停过。

Never stopped.

真有意思。绑定魔法很有趣。我超爱赫敏和德拉科之间的绑定魔法，就喜欢那种被迫'你们必须相爱因为剧情需要'的设定。

That's funny. Is funny. To binding magic. I love binding magic when it's between Hermione and Draco. I just love the forced, you're gonna love each other because that's what we want to have happen.

我喜欢这样。

I like it.

嘿。你会给这个打几分？我知道你们在评分上花了很多心思。

Hey. What would you rate this? I know you guys worked very hard on your ratings.

根本没花心思。

Did not work hard at all.

哦，我以为你们做了。算了。

Oh, I thought you did. Never mind.

我本来打算做的，后来放弃了。

I was going to, and then I gave up.

不。我打了4.0分。

No. I gave it a four point zero.

满分五分？

Out of five?

满分五分。

Out of five.

你觉得这个评分很低吗？

And you think that's a low rating?

是的。与其他作品相比，根据我对之前所有作品的评分标准，这个分数确实很低。如果你们还记得，我的评分通常在4.5、4.75、4.8左右，具体记不清了。但这次我坚决给了4.0，因为我期待更多尾声内容，而且我非常喜欢故事和角色发展。

Yes. In comparison to the other, how I've rated all of the previous fix, that's really low on my scale. If you guys remember, I feel like my ratings have been like 4.5, 4.75, 4.8, I don't know. I can't remember all of them. But this one was a hard four point zero because I wanted a lot more epilogue and because I really enjoy the story and character development.

而这部作品，我觉得在这两方面稍有欠缺。就其本身而言，故事并不算差，但我希望它能更长些，内容更丰富些。不过话说回来，情色描写绝对是满分10分，无可挑剔。

And this, I felt, did lack a little bit in those two departments. For what it was, I did feel like the story wasn't that bad, but I wanted it to be longer. I wanted more of the story to be there. But at the same time, I'm like, well, the smut was 10 out of 10 fully. Exactly.

如果单论情色部分，可以打五分。满分五分。谢了，确实是优质情色内容。

It's We're just judging by smut. It was a Five. Five out of five. Thanks. Sounds good smut.

没错，情色描写很棒。不过我大致同意你的观点，我会给四分。如果稍微宽容些，可能给4.25分。

Yeah. That was good smut. I think I think I'm with you though. Would rate it a four. Maybe four four point two five, if I'm being a little nice.

但总体而言，对我来说就是稳稳的四分。

But, yeah, no, it's a solid four for me.

我喜欢这部作品，4.5分。它很不错。我喜欢它没有那些多余的配角和不必要的支线剧情。

I liked it. 4.5. It was good. I liked it. I liked that there weren't all these extra characters and, like, side stories that you didn't need.

斯莫尔特很棒。一切都像是，我了解你们，我真的不喜欢那样，一切都紧凑、美好，像系着蝴蝶结般完美。这让我很开心。我喜欢那样的结局。我不喜欢最后还得为寻找的东西而苦苦挣扎。

Smalt was great. It was all like, I know you guys I I really don't I like that it was all tight, all nice, pretty with a bow. It makes me happy. I enjoy those endings. I don't like when I have to, like, fight for what I'm looking for at the end.

我知道我其实喜欢的。我确实喜欢那样。我我我有点

I know I actually do. I do like that. I I I kinda

喜欢那样。

like that.

能拥有那种感觉真好。你只需觉得，哦，这很美好快乐，然后就可以去读别的东西了。

It's nice to have that. You like just, oh, this was nice and happy, and then you go read something else.

是啊，是啊。在这个情境下，我非常高兴结局圆满美好，像系了个漂亮的蝴蝶结。一切都妥善收尾，没有未解的悬念。

Yeah. Yeah. In this context, I was very happy that it was a nicely ended, pretty bow. Everything was nice and wrapped up. There were no loose ends.

比如，是的，如果能有一章描写德拉科斤斤计较地争吵，比如跑去告诉布龙，嘿，蠢货，你搞砸了。像那种事，你为什么要拒绝？但我不需要这些。

Like, yeah, it would have been cool to have a chapter of, like, petty Draco fighting, like, going and telling Bronn, like, hey, dumbass. You you messed up. Like, why would you say no to that kind of thing? But I don't need it.

这次不一样。我其实很惊讶罗恩没有像往常那样口无遮拦犯傻。我觉得通常他会，你知道，就像一开始他逃之夭夭那样，我觉得他第一件事就是跑去告诉哈利。然后你想知道我认为哈利会怎么做吗？他会看着他，像是说，你在干什么？

Not in this one. I was actually really surprised that Ron was not more of an open mouth idiot like he normally is. I feel like, usually, he would, you know as the way that he went running for the hills in the very beginning, I feel like the first thing he would have done was gone and told Harry. And then you wanna know what I think Harry would have done? He would have looked at him like, what are you doing?

嗯哼。你脑子进水了吗？我经常和我老婆这么玩。

Mhmm. The hell is wrong with you? I do this with my wife all the time.

我正想说呢，金妮要是听说这事，肯定会骂你蠢货。

I was gonna say, yeah, the second that Ginny would have heard about it, she would have been like, you dumbass.

我深有同感，完全能体会到那种感觉。

I feel like that. I definitely feel that way.

确实。就算他们没真这么做，也会质问：你凭什么羞辱王者？

That's true. Even if they didn't necessarily do it, they'd be like, why are you king shaming?

对啊。

Yeah.

谁不知道哈利·波特就喜欢被惩罚呢，这没什么。

Because you know Harry Potter likes to be punished. That's fine.

他根本就是个纯零。

He is a total bottom.

我现在就告诉你，他是个零。

I'm telling you right now, he's a bottom.

那你读了些沉闷的同人小说吧。

You read some dreary fanfics, then.

不。不。不。不。我还是坚持我的Germani。

No. No. No. No. I'll stick with my Germani.

非常感谢。

Thank you very much.

那Wolfstar可以吗？好吧，那个。我喜欢那个。谢什么，Wolfstar？Wolfstar是现在孩子们的做法。

Would Wolfstar be okay then? Well, that one. I like that one. What thanks, Wolfstar? Wolfstar is a Kids do it this way now.

这是严肃而认真的。哦。

It's serious and remis. Oh.

真有趣。因为我有同感。确实。我受伤了。我想去所以不。

So funny. Because I feel the same way. I do. I hurt. I want to go so Nope.

哦，我的心。好吧。

Oh, my heart. Okay.

哦，看，唯一我会

Oh, see, the only I'll

拿到钥匙。没关系。

get key. It's fine.

除了《Germani》之外，我读过的同人小说是《时间的逝者》，那是一部严肃的赫敏同人。特蕾西，你第一次跟我提起它时，就在你让我读完《Remain Nameless》之后不久。你说，哦，这本也非常非常好，你可能会喜欢，但它是赫敏向且严肃的。我当时就表示，呕，恶心。

Fan fiction that I have read other than Germani is the dead of time, which is a serious and Hermione one, which when you first told me about that, Tracy, you literally it was like right after you got me to read Remain Nameless. You were like, oh, this one is really, really good too. You might like it, but it's Hermione and serious. And I went, gag. Gross.

很好。我有个规矩——没读过这本书的人不许发表意见。我让一位家人读了，他们喜欢它。我很惊讶自己还有点儿影响力。

Good. You had you I don't let people say anything about this until they read it. I got a family member to read it, and they liked it. Was surprised I've got bit more power.

你根本

You have no

不知道。我就像在说：不。不。这本不行。你说过你最终会读这本的。

idea. I'm like No. No. This one No. You've said you've said you would read this one eventually.

这一篇，你终究会读的。

This one, you will read eventually.

等你退休的时候。

When you're retired.

你会你会喜欢里面的色情内容。你会的。你会非常享受的。这篇。这篇同人文，我觉得构思得非常好。

Why you'll you'll like the smut in it. You will. You'll very much so enjoy it. This k. This fic, I feel was so well thought out.

我一点都没开玩笑。完全没有。我爱死它了。就是Trish在Spotify上读的那篇，未剪辑版也在上面，你可以笑出声来。我还给你发了所有我屏幕录制的视频。

I'm not even kidding. Not kidding in the slightest. I love it. This is the one that Trish reads on Spotify and the unedited version is on there and you can laugh. And I've sent you all videos of my screen recordings.

她在录音。哦，车声大，家伙小。因为在她公寓里都能听见。太搞笑了。一定要记住这个。

She's recording. Oh, loud car, tiny dick. Because you can hear it in her apartment. So funny. Do remember that.

太棒了。太棒了。简直绝了。对。她讲到莱姆斯·卢平时说，哦，他33岁。

It's great. It's great. It's fantastic. Yeah. She's talking about Remus Lupin and she's like, oh, he's 33.

我28岁。真的很好笑。真的很好笑。我

I'm 28. It's really funny. It's really funny. I

我认为关于狼星（Wolfstar）的主要问题是，大多数人，好吧，很多人只看过电影或读过书，所以很难把他们完全割舍。但书中的小天狼星简直帅炸了。真的，他长得非常好看。

think the main thing with, like, Wolfstar is that most people okay. Most people a lot of people have only read or have only watched the movies, so it's not easy to abandon them together. But, like, book Sirius is like fucking hot. He is. He is good looking.

而且我觉得莱姆斯也是同一挂的。所以我实在无法想象，你知道的，大卫·休利斯——我记不清他的名字了。或者是约翰·古德曼？约翰·古德曼？还是加里·科尔曼？

And I just put Remus in the same boat. So I I can't imagine, you know, David Thule I don't remember his name. Or John Goodman. John Goodman? Gary Coleman.

约翰·古德曼？搞什么鬼？嘿。他曾经和汤姆·费尔顿一起出演过《寄居大侠》。那好像是汤姆·费尔顿的第一个重要角色。

John Goodman. What the fuck? Hey. He was in he was in the Borrowers with Tom Felton. That was like Tom Felton's first Good.

应该是他第一个重要角色。

First major role, I think.

谁？加里·奥德曼？你说的是加里·奥德曼吗？

Who? Gary Old man? Gary Old man are you talking about?

不是。约翰·古德曼？约翰·古德曼。他演过什么来着，《寄居大侠》？凯尔顿？等等。

No. John Goodman? John Goodman. Was in something The borrowers Kelton? Wait.

我是不是记错人了？

Am I thinking of somebody else?

等一下。

Hang on.

我觉得你是，因为我在想谁？一个美国演员。

I think you are because Who am I thinking of? An American actor.

为什么这个念头会在我脑海里？为什么我会想到约翰·古德曼，他叫什么来着？不是的。稍等。

Why is that why is that in my head? Why am I thinking John Goodman is what's his name? It's not. Hold, please.

稍等。约翰·古德曼。是他吗？对，是的。

Hold, is please. John Goodman. Is it? Yeah. Yes.

就是他。对。没错。他是《寄居大侠》里的反派。

It is. Yes. Yep. He's the bad guy in The Borrowers.

我这辈子从没听说过这部电影。这到底是什么玩意儿？

Never heard of this movie before in my life. What the fuck is this?

我看这部电影的时候

I saw it when

我当时还小。

I was little.

汤姆·费尔顿那时也很小。还有那个谁来着？演霍拉斯·斯拉格霍恩的？他在《借东西的小人》里演汤姆·费尔顿的爸爸。

And Tom Felton was little. And what's his face? Who plays Horace Slughorn? He plays Tom Felton's dad in Borrowers.

吉姆·布罗德本特。

Jim Broadbent.

是啊，就是觉得挺有趣的。

Yeah. It's just funny.

亚瑟·韦斯莱也在里面演灭虫员。抱歉，我们跑题太远了。总之继续吧。

And Arthur Weasley is in it. Exterminator. I'm sorry. We got way off course. Anyway go.

是加里·奥德曼，不是约翰·古德曼。我他妈都不知道怎么会搞混。对，不，我实在没法想象他俩同框。

Gary Old man, not John Goodman. I don't know where the fuck that came from. Yeah. No. I can't imagine them together.

我就是个...我完全没问题。这篇同人文的作者在每个章节开头都放了那种...他们管那叫什么来着？就是图片拼贴那种东西。我本来很讨厌的，但说实话做得真棒。

I am one person I'm a I'm very okay. This per This author of this fic had a What do they call it? It's like the picture collage thing at the very beginning of each chapter. I hated them. I mean, they were so good.

我讨厌看到艾玛·沃森和汤姆·费尔顿。是的，我受不了

I hate seeing Emma Watson and Tom Felton. Yeah. I cannot

看那不是德拉科，那也不是赫敏。

see That's not Draco and that's not Hermione.

不，那不是

Nope. That's not what

我想象中的样子。

I imagined in my head.

不是的，这很有趣。在我脑海里她一直是赫敏的形象。

Not at It's funny. I imagine her as Hermione in my head.

不喜欢想象真人，因为我喜欢虽然这不是真实的。尽管我，

Don't like imagining real people because I like Although This is not real. Although, I,

但有时真的很难把她看作赫敏，因为她的发型和赫敏完全不搭。一点也不。是啊。我觉得电影里对发型的处理太敷衍了。原著第一本里她的头发又大又蓬松，电影前两部还勉强符合，之后就完全塌下去了。

it is hard for me though sometimes to actually see her because her hair does not match Hermione's hair. Not at all. Yeah. And I feel like they did it such a disservice in the movies. Like, her hair is big and bushy in books one in movies one and two, and then it goes flat from there.

去看第五部电影，那根本不是赫敏。那是什么角色？因为她在电影里的头发扁得离谱，太奇怪了。总之，就这样吧。

Go watch movie number five and go, that's not Hermione. Who what character is that? Because her hair is flatter than flat in that movie, And it's weird. Anyway. Anyway, that's all.

是的。我是说，好吧。每章开头的内容都很棒，我超爱那些设计，非常精美。

Yes. I mean, okay. The things at the beginning of each chapter were very good. I love them. They were very pretty.

给那个人留言或点赞吧。我只是不喜欢看到汤姆和艾玛同框，纯属个人偏好。所以

Comment or kudos to the person. I just don't like seeing Tom and Emma. And that's just personal preference. So

呃，我也是。伙计们，我还在反复看他们在加州玩长板时自拍的那个可爱小视频，永远都看不够。

Ugh. Me too. Guys. I'm still stuck on that little cute video that they took of themselves longboarding in California. I can't I can never get enough of that video.

天啊，真的太可爱了。

Oh my gosh. It's so cute.

我当时

I was

你们怎么回事？为什么要找她？汤姆·莱斯，你为什么觉得她是你妹妹？快停下，别这样。

What's wrong with you guys? Why did you get her? Tom Rice, why do you think she's your little sister? Stop that. Stop.

我们得在霍莉开始哭之前离开。我

We need to move before Holly starts crying. I

知道。我有个问题。一个严重的问题。我幻想AI德拉科们以德拉科的形象在TikTok上飘来飘去。

know. I have a problem. I have a serious problem. I imagine AI Dracos that float around TikTok as Draco.

同人画那种。对。同人画。

Fan art ones. Yeah. Fan art.

我们想象肯定是。艺术类的。

We imagine Definitely. Art ones.

那个更高大的男人。高大、阳刚、诱人。

The the bigger man. Big, macho, delicious.

成年版。他总是纹着身。

Adult. He is always tattooed.

没错。成年版。太性感了。

Yes. Adult. So sexy.

嘿，关于这个你们还有什么想补充的吗？最后想法？评论？顾虑？

Hey. Anything else you guys wanna add about this one? Last thoughts? Comments? Concerns?

有问题吗？

Questions?

让我想想。稍等。我只是想确认我没有遗漏什么。不，我觉得我没漏掉什么。

Let me see. Hold on. I just wanna make sure I didn't miss anything. No. I don't think I missed anything.

好的。你们在忙什么？生活里接下来有什么计划？在读什么书？在做什么事？

K. What you guys doing? What's coming up in your lives? What you reading? What you doing?

我最近一直在刷我们的同人文清单，伙计们。今天读了《弥补》。

I've just been going down our fic list, guys. I read amends today.

真的很喜欢那篇。

Really liked it.

看完《性与适应》后，我接着读了那篇，因为它只有44000字，而且是清单上的下一篇。所以就读了。你们俩都读过。

After I finished sex and acclimacy, I read that one because it was only 44,000 words, and it was the next one on the list. So I read it. You both have read it.

我正想说，感觉我读过这本。

I was gonna say, I feel like I read this one.

你们俩——我是说，在那上面，我很确定你们都喜欢它。而特蕾西一开始的反应是，特蕾西喜欢这个？就凭你那么讨厌误会梗？我很惊讶你会喜欢它。我几乎要哭了，第一章就有点泪目，心想这太糟了。

And you both I mean, on there, I'm pretty sure you both liked it. And Tracy, at first, was like, Tracy liked this? For how much you hate miscommunication props? I was surprised that you liked it. I was almost crying, tearing up a little bit in that first chapter going, this sucks.

为什么会这样？挺可爱的。今天刚读了那本。我不知道列表里的下一本是哪本，

Why is this happening? Was cute. Read that one today. I don't know what the next one is down on the list,

但更多文斯和奥姆尼亚的故事。

but More Vince and Omnia.

好的。这本我们其实已经...我最近刚读过。

Okay. Which we've already I just read that one recently.

接下来是《不完美的处境》。

An imperfect situation is next after that.

哦天。我正考虑接下来要不要读这本。

Oh, boy. Was thinking about doing next, like, read.

我知道。

I know.

是啊。就像在进行一场玫瑰战争，不过还在创作中。

Yeah. Just of doing a war of roses, but it's the work in progress.

必须

Gotta

我坚持

I hold out

只要你

as long as you

我讨厌它们因为如果故事在悬念处戛然而止而我想要更多，我会哭的。我会哭着入睡。老兄，我至今还在为看不到《别回头》的后续而哭泣。我需要更多那个愚蠢的同人文。

I hate them because if it leaves me on a cliffhanger and I want more, I will cry. I will cry myself to sleep. Dude, I still cry over the fact that I don't have more of don't look back. I need more of that stupid fic.

所以那些未完结的作品确实让我害怕。幸运的是我还没经历过这种情况。不过某种程度上...我表妹，那个带我入坑同人文的可爱表妹，她最爱的《行尸走肉》同人文——基本重写了第一季剧情，作者在悬念处停更再没回来。明明该继续写下一季的，就这样断了。

So work in progress ones do terrify me. My I thankfully have not experienced this. Well, I kinda My cousin, my lovely cousin who got me into fan fiction, one of her favorite fan fictions, The Walking Dead one. And it So, like, basically a whole rewrite of season one, and they left it on a cliffhanger and never came back. And, like, they were done, and it was like, okay, next I'm gonna start the next one.

那好像是2007年左右发布的。说实话我都记不清了，但再也没回去看过。好吧，所以这本书的作者是——

And it was, like, posted in, 2007 or something. Like, I don't even remember, but never went back. Okay. So, the author of

你刚读的《战痕呼吸者》和《战痕》，凯莉·安很喜欢的那个，和《别回头》是同一个作者。

Battle Scar Breathmans and Battle Scars that you just read, Carrie Ann, that you loved, that's the same one that did Don't Look Back.

我终于读了《别回

I finally read Don't

头》。

Look Back.

你读过了。对。不过还在连载中。记得结局是什么吗？

You have. Yeah. But it's still a work in progress. Yes. Do you remember how that one ended?

记得。点确定就行。我只是确认下。

Yes. Well, click on Okay. Your I'm just making sure.

你声音太大了。

You're being very loud.

有人能理解我的痛苦。就是那个让我觉得，凯莉·安妮，

Somebody can can get in on my pain. That was the one that I was like, Carrie Anne,

别读那篇。

do not read that one.

那是你刚开始读德拉马尼同人小说的时候，我把我的阅读清单给了你。你想读那篇是因为我已经读了五遍，而你在纠结选这篇还是那篇。我当时心想，天啊，看在老天的份上，别看，别回头。因为那样你就会知道我读了五遍，然后发现我有点不对劲。

That was when you first started reading Dramani fan fiction, and I gave you my list that I had read. If you wanted to read that one because I'd read it five times, and you're like, so I'm I'm going between this one and this one. And I was like, oh my gosh. For the love of everything holy, don't read, don't look back. Because then you'll know that I've read that five times, and you'll know something's wrong with me.

而你

And you

知道我们走了多远。

know how far we've come.

我明白你现在应该知道了。

I know you should know by now.

哦，现在我确实知道了。没错，肯定的。嗯，我记得告诉过你为什么我不喜欢它，然后你读了却说，我喜欢这个。

Oh, now I do. Yeah, for sure. Well, and I remember telling you why I didn't like it, and then you read it and you went, I like that.

我

I

会。毫无羞耻。如此毫无羞耻。

do. Unashamed. So unashamed.

总之，特蕾西，你在读什么书？你在忙些什么？

Anyways, Tracy, what are you what are you reading? What are you up to?

我不知道。没什么。

I don't know. Nothing.

我在读什么书？

I read what am I reading?

我现在在读什么书吗？

Am I reading anything right now?

我觉得没有。我只是在这里无所事事，摆弄手指，等着莎拉·J·马斯的新书上市。

I don't think I am. I wanted to I'm really just over here, just twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the new Sarah J. Maas book to drop.

是的，你确实有。

Yep, You do.

所以这是几周前的事，我们拍摄这个的时间比他们实际发生的要早得多。

So this is a very this is a few weeks before, like, this is a we're filming this a lot sooner than they've been.

对，我们提前拍摄了这个。

Yeah. We're filming this before

但我们还没有。我们还没拿到。所以我猜我只是太期待了，以至于没法读其他东西。是的，过去三天里，除了这个我什么都没做，没读别的。

But we have not. We have not got it yet. And so I think I'm just kind of anticipating so much that I'm I can't read anything else. So, yeah, I haven't been doing anything. No no reading for me besides this in the past, like, three days.

我还在继续读Ruby Dixon的书，因为我爱她，爱她写的一切。我已经读完《冰行星野蛮人》系列，现在在读《冰之家》，大概到第10或11本了。我还订了她的新书，就是那本厚重的——《与战神绑定》是第一本，《与暗影某物绑定》是第二本。类似这样的。

I'm continuing on my Ruby Dixon because I love her and I love everything she So I'm on I finished all the Ice Planet Barbarians. I'm now in the ice home, and I think I'm on, like, book 10 or 11 of that one. I also want to get I ordered it, so it's gonna come. It's the she made other, like, thick, like, bound to the battle god was the first one and bound to the shadow something is the second one. Or a little like those.

我发现自己就是喜欢Ruby Dixon。致敬Ruby Dixon！就像那个玩笑说的：如果我不在追她的书，那我肯定是死了。我就是那种状态。

I just like Ruby Dixon, I've learned. So shout out Ruby Dixon. I'm probably like, you know that whole joke of, like, if there's no fan, then that means that I am dead. Like, I can't think. Like, that's me.

真高兴你喜欢Ruby Dixon。没错，谁都可以嘲笑《冰行星野蛮人》，但为什么这么多人读过？因为它完美到让人脑壳发麻啊！

I'm so glad that you like Ruby Dixon because, yes, everyone can, like, shit on, like, Ice Planet Barbarians, but why do you think so many people have read it? Because it's so mind numbingly perfect?

他们太棒了。

They're so good.

就像，他们太

Like, they're so

棒了。就像，不知道是什么。它们就是有裂缝。

good. Like, don't know what it is. They there's just cracks.

有裂缝

There's cracks

在书页里。书页。因为我当笑话读的。然后我就想，这也太蠢了。结果买了接下来的三本书。

in the pages. Pages. Because I read it as a joke. And I was like, this is so stupid. Buy the next three books.

所以是的。不。他们确实。他们太棒了。

So yep. Nope. They were. They're so good.

所以我爱它们。我就是。我只是，随便读读这里那里的零碎内容。没什么太长的。

So I love them. I just yeah. I'm just, like, gonna I'm just kinda reading little things here and there. Nothing too big.

不是为了准备我们的

Not to prepare for our

我现在又兴奋又紧张得要命，简直疯了。

I'm, like, so freaking psyched and stressed. It's crazy.

所以我真的很害怕。我真心希望——或者说我这次刻意没为《苍穹与呼吸之屋》这么做。有人居然在发售当天就贴出了最后几页的内容，剧透了成千上万的读者，我超怕这种事重演，因为我当时就是受害者之一，整个人都懵了——

So I'm really scared. I really hope or I'm gonna, like, purposely I didn't do this for House of Sky and Breath. Shout out to but someone posted the very last pages, the last like, the day it came out, and spoiled it for like, thousands of people, and I'm terrified that that's gonna happen again, because I was one of those people that I was like, what

什么鬼？然后我

the fuck? And I

气炸了。整整一年都没读那本书，觉得这他妈太蠢了。所以这次我决定主动屏蔽社交媒体，看完之前绝不上网。之后大概要哭两年吧——她出书的速度慢得令人发指。

was very upset. And I didn't read it for about a solid year because I was like, this is fucking stupid, and so I'm not gonna do that this time. I'm gonna bullet some social media blackout myself and not get on anything until I'm done. And then I'll cry for, like, two years because she's taking forever to fucking release a book.

没事的。一切都很好。很好。

It's fine. Everything's fine. Fine.

总之。

Anyway.

我也在听吉姆·戴尔朗读的《哈利·波特》。吉姆·戴尔朗读的。由J.K.罗琳所著。我现在听到第六本了。

I'm also listening to Harry Potter by Jim Dale. By Jim Dale. Read by Jim Dale. By JK Rowling. I'm on the sixth book.

我才听到第六本。前四本我是一口气听完的，但第五本花了我好久好久时间。第五本原本是我最喜欢的，但现在我改变主意了。不，不是的。第四本一直是我的最爱，后来在第五本和第四本之间摇摆过，现在绝对又回到第四本了。

I'm only on book six. I, like, powered through the first four books and then it's taken me forever to took me forever to listen to the fifth one. The fifth one used to be my favorite book and now I've decided it's not. No, it wasn't. The fourth book has always been my favorite and then it did switch back and forth between the fifth and the fourth and it's definitely gone back to the fourth.

第四本是我的最爱。

Fourth book is my favorite.

四、五、六。四、五、六是最好的。四、五、六、三、七、一、二。

Four, five, six. Four, five, six are the best. Four, five, six, three, seven, one, two.

不。第三本是最差的。

No. Number three is the worst.

不。不。不。那是五年时间。

No. No. No. Those are five years.

我在想电影。等等。我在想电影。我刚才没在想——我的脑子突然切换了。

I'm thinking of movies. Hold on. I'm thinking of movies. I'm not thinking of I was just now my my brain switched.

我当时就想，书里的课程算什么，管它呢。

I was like, what are courses to the book, but whatever.

我百分之百不同意。什么？这话在我听来就是宣战啊，老兄。

I disagree 100%. What? Those are fighting words to me, man.

是啊。但我是多数派，你不是。等我表态支持什么呢。

Yeah. But I'm in the majority. You're not. Waiting until I stand for what exactly.

我疯了。没关系。我完全接受。挺好的。我没事。

I'm crazy. It's okay. I fully accept that. It's fine. I'm fine.

我觉得更像是四、六、五。算了，我不说了。我得想想。我超爱第六本书，真的。

I think was more four, six, five. Anyway, I'll shut up about it. I had to think about it. I love the sixth book. I swear to God.

总之，我这是

Anyways, I this is

我们的代表，

our rep,

马修·派瑞。我深感遗憾。总之，

Matthew Perry. I'm so sorry. Anyways,

下次请继续收听我们讨论《尼罗河在我们之间流淌》。

join us next time as we discuss Between Us flows the Nile.

下一本是什么？特蕾西选的。

What's the the next one? Tracy's pick.

是的。因为那周是——我能说吗？对，那是特蕾西的生日周。所以她选了这本书。

Yes. Because that is the week of am I can I say it? Yeah. It's Tracy's birthday week. So she picked it.

让我看看是谁写的？

It is let me who's it written?

是光明城写的。

It's by the Bright City.

没错。《尼罗河在我们之间流淌》。就是光明城。下次请加入我们讨论这部作品。Germani同人小说狂热者是一个粉丝播客，专门讨论和评论基于J.K.罗琳创作并拥有的《哈利·波特》系列中赫敏·格兰杰与德拉科·马尔福角色，由不同作者撰写的同人小说。

Yeah. Between us flows the Nile. That's the City. Join us next time as we discuss that. So Germani Fanfic Fanatics is a fan podcast that discusses and reviews fan fiction written by various authors based on the characters Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter series created and owned by J.

J.K.罗琳。我们并不拥有《哈利·波特》系列、其角色或本播客中提及的任何同人小说的版权。本播客旨在提供与同人小说社区相关的评论、分析和娱乐内容，并促进粉丝间的社群归属感。我们尊重同人小说作者的创作成果，将其作品视为对原著素材的转化性诠释。

K. Rowling. We do not own the rights to the Harry Potter series, its characters, or any of the fan fiction works mentioned in this podcast. The purpose of our podcast is to provide commentary, analysis and entertainment related to the fan fiction community and to foster a sense of community among fans. We respect the creative efforts of fan fiction authors and consider their works as transformative interpretations of the original source material.

本播客讨论的所有同人小说作品均为各自作者的知识产权。我们致力于通过尽可能链接作者原作的方式提供正确署名，并推动同人小说社区发展。本播客仅供娱乐目的，无意侵犯版权持有者的权益。如果您是本播客讨论的同人小说作者，并希望我们删除或修改与您作品相关的内容，请联系我们，我们将及时处理您的请求。收听本播客即表示您知晓并同意本免责声明的条款。

All fan fiction works discussed on this podcast are the intellectual property of their respective authors. We aim to provide proper attribution and promote the fan fiction community by linking to the author's original works where possible. This podcast is created for entertainment purposes and is not intended to infringe upon the rights of the copyright holders. If you are the author of a fan fiction work discussed on this podcast and would like us to remove or modify our content related to your work, please contact us, and we will promptly address your request. By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge and agree to the terms of this disclaimer.