我们的见证 | 女孩读圣经

嗨，GGB的朋友们。

Hi, GGB gang.

我是Ange和Ari，我们有个问题想问你们。

This is Ange and Ari, and we have a question for you guys.

你们想做一档播客吗？

Do you wanna make a podcast?

Spotify提供了一个平台，让你轻松制作播客，然后可以免费在所有地方发布，甚至还能赚钱。

Spotify has got a platform that lets you make one so easily, and then you can distribute it everywhere and even earn money all in one place for free.

它叫Spotify for Podcasters，下面是它的运作方式。

It's called Spotify for Podcasters, and here's how it works.

Spotify for Podcasters允许你直接在手机或电脑上录制和编辑播客。

Spotify for Podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your phone or computer.

所以，无论你的设备如何，无论你是在家还是在录音棚，今天就可以开始创作。

So no matter what your setup's like, whether you're at home or at the studio, you can start creating today.

然后你可以将你的播客发布到Spotify以及所有其他收听播客的平台。

Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else podcasts are heard.

通过 Spotify for Podcasters，你可以通过多种方式赚钱，包括广告和播客订阅。

With Spotify for Podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and podcast subscriptions.

最重要的是，这完全是免费的，没有任何陷阱。

And best of all, it's totally free with no catch.

自从我们发现 Spotify for Podcasters 以来，伙计们，它彻底改变了游戏规则。

Ever since we discovered Spotify for podcasters, you guys, it has changed the game.

我的意思是，我们现在不仅能做音频播客，还能做视频播客，还能在结尾进行问答和投票，这让我们与你们更加亲近，真正营造出一种社区氛围。

I mean, we're able to do video podcasts without just having to do audio podcasts, And we're able to do q and a's and polls at the end, and it has just brought us so close to you guys and really created a community feel.

所以我们强烈建议你们试一试。

So we really recommend that you give it a try.

下载 Spotify for Podcasters 应用程序，或访问 www.spotify.com/podcasters 开始使用。

Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com/podcasters to get started.

我们爱你们。

We love you.

上帝保佑你们。

God bless you.

大家好。

Hi, everybody.

大家好。

Hi, everyone.

这是阿里和贾斯特·安·基丁。

This is Ari and Just Ann kidding.

你们知道我们为这个节目改过多少名字吗？

You know how many names we've gone through for this?

我们一直在头脑风暴，可能最终定下来的名字是《女孩们走向上帝》。

We've been brainstorming and I think what we landed on maybe, we'll see, is Girls Gone God.

就像《女孩们狂野》那样，你们喜欢这个吗？

Like instead of Girls Gone Wild, which means you like that?

我知道那挺不错的。

I know that was pretty good.

我们想用《女孩们走向上帝》，因为我们是两个曾经很狂野的女孩。

We're thinking Girls Gone God because we're a couple of girls who used to be wild.

我们偶尔还是这样。

We still are sometimes.

我们想

We wanna

创造一个空间，让两个和我们长相、行为相似，但未必符合基督教典型形象的人，能够来谈论耶稣。

create a space where two people who look like us and act like us, who might not necessarily fit the typical mold of Christianity can come and talk about Jesus.

因为就我本人而言，我觉得自己完全不符合基督徒的刻板印象。

Because I know, speaking for myself, I don't feel I fit the mold as a Christian at all.

老实说，这可能是我最大的不安全感之一：我觉得自己不够格当基督徒。

And it's honestly probably one of my biggest insecurities is that I don't feel good enough to be a Christian.

我觉得自己不够纯洁。

I don't feel pure enough.

我觉得自己行为方式或外表不像其他人。

I don't feel like I behave a certain way or look like everybody else.

我知道有很多像我这样的人，还有你，心里想：我确实不像那样，但这个耶稣，我觉得我想追随他。

And I know there's so many people like me and you, who are like, but I I don't look like that, but this Jesus guy, I think I wanna get down with that.

所以我希望我们能创造一个空间，让我们可以谈论与上帝同行的经历、人生旅程，以及我们所经历的一切，还有他是如何实实在在地拯救了我们。

And so I hope that we can create a space where we can talk about our walks with God and our journeys and what we've been through and how he's literally saved us.

同时让你明白，不完美完全是正常的，历史上唯一完美的人只有耶稣。

While showing you that it's completely normal to be imperfect and that there's only one person in the history of ever that was perfect and that was Jesus.

你不需要完美，也能与上帝建立关系。

And you don't have to be perfect to have a relationship with God.

这正是我们在这里想要传达的理念。

And that's kind of what we're trying to show here.

是的。

Yeah.

那么，我们先聊聊我们的友谊，简单介绍一下自己吧。

So, let's get into our friendship first of all and tell a little bit about ourselves.

好的，你先开始吧？

Okay, why don't you start it off?

我们已经做朋友很久了，我知道我非常渴望身边有一些好的基督徒朋友，你也一样，但我们需要的是能产生共鸣、可以敞开心扉、坦诚分享自我和生活点滴的基督徒朋友，比如关于我

So we have been friends for a while and I know that I really, really wanted some good Christian friends around me, and you did the same, but like Christian friends who I could relate to, and who I could open up to, and you know, be transparent about myself and my life and the things that

我经历这些时却不会受到评判。

I go through without receiving judgment.

你也是这样，对吧？

You were the same, right?

是的，当然。

Yes, of course.

我真的很想拥有基督徒朋友，但和你一样，我感到羞愧，因为我觉得自己不符合那种所谓的基督徒形象，你怎么说呢？

I really just wanted Christian friends, but same as you, I felt ashamed because I felt like I didn't mold into the, you know, Christian, how would you put it?

是的，就是那种，没错。

Yeah, into, yeah, exactly.

我们都去教会，寻找一个社群，然后只是在周围相处。就我个人而言，每次我有基督徒朋友，尤其是疫情后，当我真正亲近上帝时，我就想：哦，我需要社群。

We both were going to church, looking for a community and then just, you know, being around I know for me personally, every time I had a Christian friend or something, especially when I, like after the pandemic, especially when I really got close to God, I was like, Oh, I need community.

我需要人。

I need people.

然后每次我在教会里遇到不愉快的经历，我都会想：哦不，不，不，不，不。

Then I felt every time I met somebody and had kind of a negative experience in the church, I'd be like, oh no, no, no, no, no.

我与耶稣的关系如此纯粹，我不希望任何人玷污它。

My relationship with Jesus is so pure, I don't want anybody tainting that.

嗯。

Yeah.

你知道的？

You know?

嗯。

Yeah.

然后，我知道我跟你的关系是这样的：我遇到了R，我和上帝有着非常深厚的关系，但并不是一直如此。

And then, I know for my relationship with you is like, I met R and I am I have such a strong relationship with God, but it's not like that all the time.

我需要有人能向我倾注支持，我记得自己曾想过：我需要有人能帮助我。

And I don't I need somebody I remember being like, I need somebody to be able to pour into me.

我需要有人在我低落时拉我一把。

Like, I need somebody to pick me up when I'm down.

而且这很难，尤其是因为我身边有很多不信主的人，或者那些认识耶稣但并没有真正活在信仰中的人。

And I it's hard to kinda feel like, especially because I'm friends with so many unbelievers or people who, they know Jesus, but they're not like super walking in the faith or anything.

所以我遇见了你，在你身上，我找到了一个人，别人无法理解，因为我的信仰如此坚定，但你能察觉到我软弱的日子，你会来抬起我的下巴，对我说：嘿，你还记得上帝是谁吗？

And so I I I met you, and then I in you, I found somebody who nobody else can tell because my my faith is so strong, but you're able to recognize the days where I'm weak, and you come and you pick up my chin, and you're like, hey, you do you remember who God is?

我非常爱你。

I love you so much.

我非常爱你。

I love you so much.

我的意思是，我们的关系真是太美好了，皮埃尔，我只想感谢耶稣。

I mean, our relationship is just so beautiful, and Pierre, I just thank you, Jesus.

谢谢你，耶稣。

Thank you, Jesus.

我知道。

I know.

如果你们今天早上看到我们就好了，虽然我快失声了，但你们要是看到今天早上我和阿里，我们会发现我们大多数时候都特别合拍。

If you guys would have seen us this morning first of I'm losing my voice, but if you guys would have seen us this morning, I mean, Ari and I are like, we're on one most of the time.

我们真是疯了。

We're nuts.

我们怎么了？你真的疯了。

We're what, like You really are nuts.

今天早上这恰恰说明，你可以在任何人身上建立这种属神的关系，因为我们相遇时的境况并不像我们——

And then this morning but it just goes to show that you can develop these godly relationships with anyone, because we met under circumstances that were not like We're not.

属神的。

Godly.

我们不谈这个。

We're not gonna talk about it.

不，我们绝对不谈。

No, we're definitely not.

但今天早上，我昨晚住在我们家，因为我们一直在讨论今天要说什么、做什么，所有事情。

But this morning, I stayed at our house last night, because we were talking about today and what we were gonna say and do and everything.

我们正在喝咖啡。

And I We're having our coffee.

我打开圣经。

I open the bible.

我们正在读罗马书。

We're reading out of Romans.

然后我们读完了这一章。

And then we finish the chapter.

阿里说：好了，我们祷告吧。

Ari's like, alright, let's pray.

我们根本没多想，就一起跪了下来。

Without even thinking about it, we both get down.

我们在客厅里跪下，开始祷告。

We get on our knees in the living room, and we just start praying.

我们为今天祷告。

We pray for today.

我们为彼此祷告。

We pray for each other.

我们把手放在对方身上祷告。

We're putting our hands on each other, praying.

我突然想到，你还记得我们刚成为朋友时，开始一起祷告的情景吗？那真是太好笑了。

And I had a moment where I was like, do you remember when we first became friends and we started praying together and how funny it was.

那时候一点也不尴尬，但就是特别好笑。

Like, it was never awkward, but it was funny.

我们根本没法不笑着把祷告说完。

We couldn't get through it without laughing.

是啊。

Yeah.

还记得我们第一次在沙发上牵手祷告的时候吗？我们笑得不行。

Remember the first time we held hands on the couch and we were We were laughing.

我们笑得快断气了。

We were dying.

我记得你第一次为我祷告的时候。

Well, I remember the first time you prayed for me.

那是我第一次有这种经历，也是我所经历过的最美好、最动人的时刻。

And that's the first time I remember, and it was the most beautiful moving thing I had ever experienced

在我的车里？

in In my car?

是的，因为我当时状态很差时遇见了她。

Yeah, because I had met her when I was down bad.

状态很差。

Down bad.

你和上帝的关系是我所见过最美好的事情。

And your relationship with God is just the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.

你为别人祷告的方式，真的是最美好的事情。

And the way you pray on people is it's just it's the most beautiful thing.

当你为我祷告时，你对我做了一些我无法向任何人解释的事情，但那就是。

And when you had prayed on me, you did something to me that I could not even explain to anyone, but it was Yeah.

我非常爱你。

I love you so much.

我想那是我第一次真正意识到，因为我看到了你正在经历的一切，我觉得这太荒谬了。

I think that was the first time where I really, because I had seen what you were going through and I was like, this is so ridiculous.

我知道她很坚强，她一定会度过难关的。

I know she's so strong and she's, she will get out of this.

她只需要开始祷告。

She just needs to start praying.

有时候你需要这样，就像我之前说的，有些日子我感到虚弱，需要有人陪伴。

And sometimes you need that, like how I went, what I said before earlier, how there are days where I'm feeling weak and I need someone.

所以你身边必须有好的人，因为他们会在你软弱时为你遮盖，当你最该祷告的时候，往往也是最难祷告的时候。

That's why you have to have good people around you who Because will cover you in sometimes when you're weak, when you should pray the most is when it's hardest to pray.

这真是太不可思议了。

It's the craziest thing.

当我过得不好，需要亲近耶稣的时候，我却无法做到。

When I'm having a bad day and I need to be close to Jesus, I can't get there.

那时，祷告根本是我最后想到的事。

I'm like, that's the last thing on my mind.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以我们彼此代祷，你能讲讲那些朋友的事吗？

And so we cover each other in prayer, and it's, can you tell about the friends?

我知道你要来了。

I knew you were coming.

不，我只是想知道你是否愿意讲讲这个故事。

No, I'm just wondering if you wanna tell that story.

她喜欢这个故事。

She loves the story.

我

And I

也

do

也。

too.

我在工作中认识了她，在正式上班前，我已经哭了四次。

I had met her at a job and I had cried four times before I even got into the job.

他们不得不给我重新化妆三次，是吧？

They had to redo my makeup three times, was it?

我当时特别难过。

And I just was so sad.

而且那天 actually 是我的生日。

And and it was actually on my birthday.

我就坐在那里哭个不停。

And I was just sitting there sobbing.

突然间我一抬头，看到了安吉。

And all of a sudden I look over and there was Ange.

她坐在我旁边，紧紧握着我的手，然后她说：首先，她叫什么名字？

And she sat with me and she just held my hand and she was like, first of all, what's her name?

我说，艾莉尔。

And I said, Ariel.

我说，我真的很抱歉。

I said, I'm so sorry.

我今天过得太糟了。

I am just having the worst day.

她握着我的手，对我说：看着我。

And she held my hand and she said, look at me.

她说：我们会一起度过这个难关。

She's like, we are gonna get through this together.

就在那一刻，我想：她会成为我永远的朋友。

And in that moment, I was like, this is gonna be my friend forever.

我就知道会这样。

Like, I just knew.

她握着我的手，没错，她陪了我整整一个小时，那么无私，帮我度过了那段时光。

And she held my hand and, yeah, you were just she sat with me for an hour and you were just so selfless and you helped me through that.

从那以后，一切就结束了。

And then that was it after that.

你知道吗？

And you know what?

我第一次真正意识到的时候，我的意思是，我从一开始就爱你了。

The first time I really knew, I mean, I loved you right away.

我当时对艺术着了迷。

I was obsessed with art.

我一见到你，就觉得你是我在生活中遇到过最有趣的人，我简直受不了了。

I as soon as I met you, was like, this is the funniest person I've ever met in my life and I can't take it.

我觉得你在很多方面都正好是我的对手。

And I feel like you just really met my match in you in so many ways.

但第一次我真正觉得‘这就是我的女孩，我的搭档’，是在我跟别人发生了一些事的时候，而我们当时几乎还不认识。

And then but the first time I really was like, oh, this is my girl, this is my rider, is when I had a situation with somebody else and we barely knew each other.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

我给你打了电话，我不知道为什么，我就是想打给你。

And I called you and I don't know why, I didn't know why you were the person I wanted to call.

我给你打电话说，嘿，刚发生了一件事，我真不知道该怎么感觉。

I call you and I'm like, hey, this just went down and I don't really know how to feel about it.

你当时说，像个甜美温柔的天使。

And you were like, this like sweet, feminine angel.

我心想，她突然就开始站出来支持我、为我辩护，就在那一刻，我意识到，这就是那种能在你低谷时陪伴你的人。

I'm like, she just starts going off and like having my back and defending me and I just in that moment I was like oh this is the type of person who carries you through bad times.

是啊。

Yeah.

你也是这样。

Same with you.

天啊，女孩们。

Girls God.

女孩们简直太疯狂了。

Girls gone God.

总之，这一切的重点是主，可爱的小耶稣啊。

Anyways, the point of all of this is the Lord, sweet baby Jesus, man.

我们爱他。

We love him.

我们真的爱他。

We really do.

而且我觉得，这一集，我们第一次要聊聊我们的见证，对吧？

And I think this first time, this first episode, we're gonna talk about our testimonies, right?

对。

Yeah.

还有我们是怎么真正找到上帝的，你知道的，我们感觉被拯救了之类的。

And how we really found God, how, you know, we feel like we've been saved and everything like that, so.

对。

Yeah.

你先说吧？

And why don't you go first?

你先分享一下，你是怎么找到他的？

Why don't you share what, how did you find him?

好。

Yeah.

我想我得先说，我是在天主教家庭长大的。

Well, I guess I have to start with saying that I grew up Catholic.

我是在一个爱耶稣的家庭中被抚养长大的，但我们从来不读圣经。

I was raised in a house where we loved Jesus, but we didn't read the Bible.

我小时候就和耶稣建立了关系。

I had a relationship with Jesus when I was a kid.

我得说，当我进入青春期，尤其是上大学之后，我的信仰时有时无。

I was a spiritual kid, and then I have to say, when I got into like my teenage years, and especially college, and stuff like that, I was really in and out.

我开始行为不端，做了一些不该做的事，失去了与上帝的亲密关系。

I started misbehaving, doing things I shouldn't be doing, and I lost that closeness that I had with God.

直到我戒除酒精后，我才相信他拯救了我。

And it wasn't until I got sober from alcohol that I believe he saved me.

也就是说，虽然我一直与他有关系，但正是那时耶稣拯救了我。

Like, that's when I say, because I've always had a relationship with him, but that's when Jesus saved me.

那时我才真正认识了他和他的权柄，明白了与上帝同行意味着什么，以及什么是真正的自由。

That's when I knew him and his authority, and what it means, what I get in having a walk with God, and what it means to have true freedom.

所以，我想我得回溯一下，我这一生其实从未在心理健康上挣扎过。

And so, I guess I have to kind of go back to, I go my whole life not struggling with my mental health.

我没有经历过焦虑，和普通人一样，但从没得过焦虑，也没经历过抑郁，我一直是个快乐的人。

Didn't experience anxiety, normal like everybody else, but never had anxiety, never experienced depression, I was always a happy person.

我二十多岁的时候，有一次出现了恐慌发作。

I get into my twenties, I have a panic attack one time.

之后就出现了慢性恐慌发作。

Chronic panic attacks after that.

这触发了我体内某种非常奇怪、诡异的东西，我甚至无法解释。

It triggered something really, really weird and strange, and something I can't even explain in me.

然后，我开始经历严重的恐慌发作。

And, I start experiencing really bad panic attacks.

这种情况持续了多年，随后又涌现出大量奇怪的焦虑症状。

This goes on for years, and then comes, like, an influx of all these weird symptoms of anxiety.

我经历了现实解体和人格解体。

I was experiencing derealization, depersonalization.

我感觉有一半的时间都在解离。

I felt like I was disassociating half the time.

这真的很可怕，而且情况越来越糟，因为我对此一无所知。

It was really scary, and it was only getting worse and worse because I was so uneducated.

想象一下，我以前从未经历过这些，突然间就经历了，我心想：我要疯了。

And imagine, I never experienced this, and then I experienced it, and I'm like, I'm losing my mind.

我当时觉得：我生病了，一定哪里出了问题。

I was like, there's some I'm sick, like, there's something wrong.

由于我对这些一无所知，我只能做我唯一知道的事——用酒精自我治疗。

And because I was so uneducated on it, I did the only thing I knew how to do, and I started to self medicate with alcohol.

当时我正在俱乐部工作，负责瓶装服务，身边到处都是酒精，我没有任何一个朋友不喝酒。

And, I was like working at the club at at the time, I was doing bottle service, I was around so much alcohol, I didn't have one friend who didn't drink.

我们做的就是这些，所有人都这样。

Like, it's all we did, it's all anybody does.

这在社会上是最正常不过的事了。

It's the most normal thing in society.

不喝酒真的挺奇怪的。

It's really weird to not drink.

我们将会专门做一期节目，聊聊戒酒、酒精以及文化这些话题。

And we'll, we're gonna have like a whole episode on sobriety and alcohol and just culture and all that.

但我当时喝得很多，突然之间，我在情感和身体上都对酒精产生了依赖。

But, so I'm drinking a lot, and then all of a sudden, I'm emotionally and I'm physically dependent on alcohol.

情况变得相当糟糕。

Like, gets pretty bad.

而我周围的所有人，因为我做的和我的同龄人没什么不同，所以没人觉得我有问题。

And everybody around me, because I wasn't doing anything different than, you know, my peers, Nobody believed I had a problem.

真正知道真相的只有我自己。

The only person that really knew was me.

我当时状态很差，感觉不好。

And I was not well, I wasn't feeling good.

焦虑只会越来越严重。

The anxiety was all only getting worse.

我非常抑郁。

I was so depressed.

我状态不对。

I was not right.

那时我常去我家附近谢尔曼奥克斯的一间小天主教堂，每天坐在那里哭泣。

And I would go into this little Catholic church by my house in Sherman Oaks at the time, and I'd sit in there and I'd cry every single day.

我会对上帝说：‘上帝啊，我怎么会变成这样？’

And I'd be like, God, how did I get here?

我是你的女儿。

I'm your daughter.

你本该在我身边的。

You're supposed to be there for me.

你本该帮助我，我不明白你怎么会让我落到这步田地。

You're supposed Like, to help I don't understand how you let me get to this point.

我当时并不知道，这都是我的错。

Little did I know it was my fault.

是我自己走到这一步的。

I got myself to this point.

但后来我遇到了一个人，这就是为什么在基督教社群中寻找那些在与神同行的道路上走得更远的人——牧师、领袖——来引导你、帮助你，如此重要。

But then I met somebody, and that's why it's so important to look for people in, you know, the Christian community, pastors and leaders and people who are more far along in their journey with God than you are to guide you and to help you.

因为我在佛罗里达遇到了我的牧师，他现在是我最好的朋友之一。

Because I met my pastor in Florida, who's, like, one of my best friends now.

他是一位名叫苏格拉底的70岁老人，他每天为我祷告。

He's a 70 year old man named Socrates, and he started praying for me every single day.

我妈妈每天也为我祷告。

My mom prayed for me every single day.

我开始向别人坦白我正在与酒精斗争。

I started to open up with people that I'm struggling with alcohol.

这不对，我不好，我会死的。

This is not right, and I'm not okay, and like, I'm gonna die.

我不知道该怎么办。

I'm not, I I don't know what to do.

我真的不知道该怎么办。

I really don't know what to do.

索克拉特斯每天都会给我打电话，问我：你读圣经了吗？

And Socrates would call me every day and be like, did you read the Bible?

你读圣经了吗？

Did you read the Bible?

我就说：索克拉特斯，我真的读得不够，求你了。

And I'm like, Socrates, I don't like enough, please.

我需要耶稣。

I I I need Jesus.

你为什么不解决这个问题呢？

Why don't you fix this?

这太好了。

That's so good.

不。

No.

说实话，我当时对此真是个讨厌鬼。

Seriously, I was such a brat about it.

我不明白。

I didn't understand.

然后突然间，我打开了圣经，开始阅读，开始了解耶稣是谁、祂的权柄、祂赐给我们的钥匙，以及这一切都是属灵的，我并不是这些事的受害者。

And then all of a sudden, I opened the Bible and I started reading and I started educating myself on who Jesus is and the authority that He has and the keys that He gives us and that all this stuff is spiritual and I am not a victim to any of this.

我不必被这些事奴役。

I don't have to be a slave to any of this.

我拥有对这一切的权柄和能力。

I have power and authority over all of it.

靠着爱我的主，我早已得胜有余。

I am more than a conqueror through him who loves me.

我开始祷告。

And I started praying.

我开始祷告，仿佛我的生命就取决于此，因为确实如此。

And I started to pray as if my life depended on it, because it does.

一点一点地，每天我都在逐渐康复。

And little by little, every day, I started to heal.

让我这么说吧，在2019年感恩节那天，我戒酒了。

Got, oh, well, let me say, on Thanksgiving twenty nineteen, I stopped drinking.

让我告诉你们，这并不是靠我自己的力量。

And let me tell you guys, it was not by my own might.

也不是靠我自己的毅力。

It was not by my strength.

所以我真的相信，那天就是我得救的日子。

That's why I really believe that's the day that I was saved.

因为我并没有像有些人那样，与耶稣有过直接的相遇。

Because I didn't have, like, an encounter with Jesus like some people have.

那是我第一次知道，祂进入了我的内心，拿走了我想喝酒的欲望，进入我的大脑，重新塑造了它，因为正常人经历这些之后，不可能不需要任何项目、帮助或治疗。

That was just the first day where I knew he went into my heart, he took the desire to drink, he went into my brain, he rewired it because it's not normal to, like, go through that and then not need any type of like, program or help or therapy.

我什么都没做，我只是突然就停下了。

I didn't do any I literally just stopped.

他拯救了我。

He delivered me.

这就是得救的意思。

That's what deliverance is.

那天我跪下来，彻底降服了，心想：就这样吗？

Day he And it's because I fell to my knees and I surrendered and I was like, that's it?

你和我？

Me and you?

这次我是真心把一切都交给你了。

I give it to you for real this time.

然后我开始读圣经，那时我才真正明白，因为我一生都爱着耶稣，却从未真正认识祂是谁。

And then I started reading the Bible and that's when I really because I had gone my whole life loving Jesus without really even knowing who he was.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

最近我才意识到，我信仰上的巨大转变是：我一向认为神是爱，却从未承认祂也是审判者。

And then, I realized this recently, actually, that the massive shift in my faith walk was I had always recognized God as love, but I never acknowledged Him as judge.

我知道耶稣爱我，但我并不真正在意他对我的看法。

Like, knew that Jesus loved me, but I wasn't really concerned with what he thought about me.

然后我就能，嗯，是的。

And then I can can Yeah.

放下那个，然后有一天，我只是开始以不同的方式行事，因为我感觉不一样了。

Get rid of that, And then it was like, one day, I just started moving different, because I felt different.

我开始意识到，我所做的任何事，要么取悦上帝，要么让他失望。

And I gained an awareness that anything that I do is either gonna please God, or it's gonna disappoint him.

有趣的是，我们回到那个情况，当我们做错事时，我们俩都会看着对方说：

Well, it's funny, we go back to that thing where when we do something sinful, we both will look at each other and be like,

是的，那是内心的责备。

Yeah, it was conviction.

以前我做错事时，从不觉得有什么不对。

Where before I never thought twice when I would do something sinful.

我知道，我知道，我知道。

I know, know, I know.

我心中渐渐形成了一种想法，我不愿让耶稣失望。

And it's so, I developed this little thing in my heart where I didn't want to let Jesus down.

圣经里说，有一天我们到了天堂，会见到耶稣，希望他对我们说：‘好，你这又良善又忠心的仆人。’

And I was there's scripture that says, that one day when we get to heaven, we're gonna see Jesus and hopefully he says to us, well done, my good and faithful servant.

对。

Yeah.

你忠心了。

You were faithful.

我非常渴望。

And I want so badly.

我真的非常渴望见到耶稣，让他为我感到骄傲。

Like, I want so badly to meet Jesus and him to be proud of me.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

对。

Yeah.

我以前没有这种感觉。

I didn't have that before.

我那时只为自己的生活而活。

I was living for myself.

让我告诉你一件事。

And let me tell you one thing.

没有什么比整天只想着自己更让你成为奴隶的了。

There is nothing more that makes you a slave than thinking about yourself all day long.

这里有自由。

There's freedom.

以前人们告诉我‘要定睛在耶稣身上’时，我从不理解。

I never understood when people told me, fix your eyes on Jesus.

把一切交在耶稣手中。

Put it in Jesus' hands.

把它交给他。

Give it to him.

专注于祂。

Focus on Him.

谁在乎发生了什么？

Who cares what's going on?

专注于祂。

Focus on Him.

正是这两句话支撑我度过了一切。

Those are the two sayings that got me through everything.

真的吗？

Really?

要定睛于我，我一直在耳边听到这句话。

Keep your eyes on I kept hearing that in my hand.

定睛于我。

Keep your eyes on me.

定睛于我。

Keep your eyes on me.

你一直在脑子里听到这句话，是的。

You kept hearing it in your head Yes.

从

From

看着我。

Keep your eyes on me.

当我们见到那位牧师时，他叫犹大，他一直说：把这一切交给上帝，这不再是你的负担了。

And then when we saw that pastor, what was his, Judah, when he kept saying, you give it to God, this is not your burden to care anymore.

把这一切交给上帝，把这一切交给上帝，把这一切交给上帝。

You give it to God, give it to God, give it to God.

我的意思是，这全部都是。

I mean, that is everything.

全部。

Everything.

是的。

Yeah.

是的，这基本上就是我的经历，还有很多后续内容我们会谈到，但正是从那时起，主真正开始在我身上动工。

Yeah, so that's pretty much my There's a lot more that we'll get into, but yeah, that's when the Lord started to work on me for real.

我当时就想，原来这就是与主同行的感觉啊。

And I was like, oh, this is what it's like

与耶稣同行吗？

to walk with Jesus?

我全心投入。

I'm about it.

我也很喜欢你讲的这个故事。

I love that story too that you tell.

我不知道这会不会跑题，但你提到的那个让你重拾自信的故事，她叫什么来着？我们之前见过的那位？

I don't know if this is off topic, but the story where you found your confidence in, again, what is that, what is her name that we saw?

莎拉·杰克斯·罗伯茨。

Sarah Jakes Roberts.

是的。

Yes.

是的，她，嗯，她

Yeah, she, yeah, she

真的在你身上做工。

really As she really worked in you.

嗯。

Mhmm.

并塑造你成为这样的人

And built you up to be the person

你也是。

you are also.

讲道，讲道。

Sermons, sermons.

莎拉·杰克斯·罗伯茨是个很好的榜样。

Sarah Jakes Roberts is a great example.

她是第一个我开始听的牧师讲道。

She was the first sermon, like pastor that I started listening to.

她的言语激励了我，让我明白了什么是勇气。

And she, her words, they just built me up and they gave, I didn't know about boldness.

我以前不知道对上帝的信心是什么。

I didn't know about confidence in God.

我以前对这些一无所知。

I didn't know any of this stuff.

如果你真的想开始，那就是知识就是力量。

And it's like, if you wanna really start like, that's knowledge is power.

智慧就是力量。

Wisdom is power.

你得知道事情的真相。

Like, you gotta know what's up.

这就是为什么你必须读圣经。

That's why you have to read the Bible.

我想说说阿里和我，尤其是阿里，我们肯定不是神学家。

And I will say something about Ari and I, but especially Ari, like, we might not we're certainly, we're not theologists.

这毫无疑问。

That's for sure.

我们可能不是最有口才、最吸引人的演讲者，但有一件事，你和我都有，我知道这是上帝赐予的礼物——那就是勇气。

We might not be the most eloquent, captivating speakers ever, but one thing that you and I have that I know is a gift from God is we have boldness.

我们确实有。

We do.

我们身处的环境，通常人们是不会谈论耶稣的。

We are in spaces that it is not normal to talk about Jesus.

但我们走进去，却能如此自信地谈论主。

And we walk up in there and we talk about the Lord with such confidence.

她比汉恩更理解人。

She's a lot more understanding than Hang on.

我比阿里更温和。

I'm a little more gentle than Ari's.

朋友们，如果你看到这个女孩真实的一面，她会为主挺身而出。

Guys, if you see this girl the way she wants, she will go to bat for the Lord.

她会为耶稣争战，因为我更像是在说：‘哦不不，我懂，我懂，这就像哥尔吉斯一样疯狂，我知道，我站在你这边，我知道这听起来很奇怪，或者他会说：嘿，嘿，听着，你有五个理由必须听耶稣的话，你正走向地狱，如果你不悔改，后果很严重。'

She will fight because I'm more like I'm more like oh no no I get it I get it it's like gorgesis it's crazy like it's I know I'm I'm on your side I get it's weird or he's like hey hey yo listen here you have five reasons you need to listen to Jesus okay, you're going to hell and if you don't repent, it's bad news for you.

而她穿着印花连衣裙，我穿着印花连衣裙，我简直不敢相信，我以为自己是耶稣的战士，但这个女孩才是耶稣的海豹突击队。

And my floral dress, in her floral dress, I can't believe it, like I thought I was a warrior for Jesus, This girl is a navy seal for Jesus.

听好了，我从小就是在艰难环境中长大的。

Like Listen, I grew up rough.

我外表看起来很温柔，但内心其实很硬朗。

I look I may look gentle on the outside, but I'm rough on the inside.

你最让我印象深刻的一句话就是你说你从小在艰难环境中长大，因为我的外表看起来就像个甜美温柔的天使，穿着Reformation的印花连衣裙，空闲时还喜欢做花艺。

My favorite thing that you ever say is that you grew up rough because I look like this sweet feminine angel who wears floral dresses from Reformation and makes like floral arrangements in her free time.

她就说：‘没错，我从小就是在艰难环境中长大的。’

She's like yeah I grew up rough.

我觉得这太搞笑了。

I'm like so funny.

对，这就是我一点点的信仰历程。

Yeah, so that's my, a little bit of my walk.

现在我们能谈谈你的经历吗？因为我已经说完了。

Now can we talk about yours because I'm done.

当然。

Sure.

好的。

Okay.

让我想想。

Let's see.

我从小在天主教环境中长大，但我觉得直到我陷入一段必须独自面对的时期，才真正找到了上帝。

Well, I grew up very Catholic and I feel like I didn't really find God until I was in a season where I was left where I had to.

我只想说，有时生活会狠狠打击你，让你彻底偏离轨道。

And I will just say that sometimes life will hit you so hard that it will completely push you out of position.

嗯。

Mhmm.

这很痛苦，很伤人，甚至让你感到恶心。

And it's painful and it hurts and it makes you sick.