预告片：如何与人交谈

你知道吗，七十年代中期，我们平均每年会和邻居们去野餐五次。

You know, in the mid seventies, we went on an average of five picnics a year with our neighbors.

天哪。

Oh my.

到了九十年代中期，这个数字就降到了两次。

And that was down to two by the mid nineties.

所以让野餐回归吧。我的天啊。

So Bring back picnics. Oh my god.

让野餐回归。你懂吗？

Bring back picnics. You know?

我是说，我前几天确实刚去野餐过，朱莉。但困难的是让大家在野餐时都能聊起来。

I mean, I did just have a picnic the other day, Julie. But the hard thing feels like getting everyone to talk at the picnic.

前几天我看到一项调查，说超过一半的美国成年人表示他们发现建立关系变得更困难了。所以我觉得我们社会中存在某种问题，人们难以获得他们渴望的那种社区归属感。

I saw a survey the other day that said, like, more than half of American adults say they've been finding it harder to build relationships. So I think something's just up in our society where people are struggling to find the sense of community that they want.

这确实是你每天都需要专注的事情。它实际上并非自然而然就能做到的。

It really is something you have to focus on daily. It doesn't actually come naturally.

我们可以选择最能引起共鸣的事物。而我的选择是，我再次希望珍视朋友如同珍视潜在的伴侣一样。

We can choose what resonates most with us. And my choice is I wanna value, again, friends as much as a potential spouse.

由于我们的社会如此以浪漫关系和核心家庭为导向，要在这之外建立支持系统可能会很困难。

And because so much our society is oriented around romantic relationships and nuclear families, it can be hard to know how to build support systems outside of those.

你是否发现和公交车司机闲聊比交朋友更容易？

Do you find it easier to make the chitchat with the bus driver than to make a friend?

交朋友真的是一种精力投入。我无法解释，比如，我想交朋友，但我只想交一个朋友。我不想要百万朋友。就像

Making a friend is, like, a real energetic investment. I can't explain, like, I want to make a friend, but I only wanna make, like, one friend. Like, I don't want million friends. Like The

美国文化中如此核心的个人主义可能会让人们难以建立他们渴望的深厚联系。通常并不是他们不想建立联系。

individualism that's so central to American culture can make it hard for people to make the deep connections that they want. It's not that they don't want to connect, usually.

我认为试图逆向构建社区可能会很复杂，因为社区由关系组成，而关系从根本上建立在交流之上。

I think the attempt to reverse engineer community can be complicated because community is made up of relationships, but relationships are fundamentally built on talking.

为什么我们中有这么多人犹豫寻求帮助？

Why are so many of us hesitant to ask for help?

其一，我们很少看到别人求助，于是误以为所有人都能独自应对——这其实是个谎言。

One, we often don't see people asking for help, so we think everybody else is doing it on their own, which is a lie.

构建真正的社群不是空谈理念，而是需要实践。

Building real community is like not an ideology. It's a practice.

我是朱莉·贝克，《大西洋月刊》的高级编辑。

I'm Julie Beck, a senior editor at The Atlantic.

我是贝卡·拉希德，《How To》系列节目的制作人。

And I'm Becca Rashid, producer of the How To Series.

在为《大西洋月刊》做报道时，我一直想弄明白：这种自力更生的压力是如何以我们甚至意识不到的方式塑造着我们的人际关系。

In reporting for The Atlantic, I've wanted to understand how the pressure to be self sufficient shapes our relationships in ways that we don't always even realize.

以至于与陌生人、邻居甚至朋友交谈，都变得比应有的难度更大。

To the point that just talking to strangers, neighbors, and even friends can feel harder than it should.

这里是《如何与人交谈》。加入我们，共六期节目，探讨如何建立人际关系，并抵制那种鼓励我们独自前行的文化。

This is How to Talk to People. Join us for six episodes that explore how to build relationships and push back against a culture encouraging us to go it alone.

新节目将于5月22日起每周一更新。

New episodes come out every Monday, beginning May 22.