莫追明日即逝之物 | 王嘉尔

你开始以某种方式产生怀疑。

You start to, in some way you start to doubt.

在Kinjes团队里，有时候我真的很羡慕你们之间的那种紧密联系，因为至少在我看来，你们的关系非常铁。

In Kinjes, it's like, sometimes I I envy the bond that you guys share a lot because at least for me, I felt like you guys are very, like, tight.

你明白我的意思吗？

You get what mean?

就像作为一个紧密的小队。

Like, as a squat squad.

但由于我和太多人有关联，我的团队涉及不同部门的许多人，而且我经常不在，所以我经常失去这种联系。

But then because I'm, like, connected with so many like, my team involves different divisions of a lot of people and I'm always away, like, I just lose that a lot of time.

嗯，保持真实就好。

Well, keep it real.

这并不总是容易的。

It's not always easy.

就像在这里也一样，我是说，是的，我们的核心理念之一就是不惜一切代价维护亲情关系。

Like, over here too, I mean, like, yes, like, our one of our pillars is kin at all costs.

对吧？

Right?

就是说，家人至上。

Like, family at all costs.

但是事情变得复杂了，兄弟。

But things get complicated, bro.

我是说，疫情发生了，人们不得不专注于他们必须关注的事情。

I mean, pandemics happen, and people start to have to focus on what they have to focus on.

这也是我们无法控制的，因为说到底，每个人都得用自己的方式生存下去。

And that's also we can't help that because at the end of the day, everybody needs to survive in whatever way they need to do to survive.

所以连这点也受到了挑战。

And so even that gets challenged.

而且老兄，我们也在一直讨论这个问题。

And, dude, we talk about it, you know, all the time too.

就像，嘿，情况就是不一样了。

Like, yo, things are just different.

随着我们年龄增长，就像季节更替一样。

As we all get older, it's just like, man, seasons change.

并不是说我们不能尝试保留我们曾经建立的某些方面，但那些也会演变和改变。

And not to say that we we can't try to preserve an aspect of what we were once sort of founded upon, but that just also evolves and changes.

确实如此。

Definitely.

但我们确实会花时间，比如重启一下。

But, like, we do take the time to, like Reboot.

检查一下状态，对。

Check-in yeah.

而且绝对是这样。

And Definitely.

还要进行一些艰难的对话。

And and have difficult conversations.

比如，安东尼和我就有过很多艰难的对话。

Like, Anthony and I have had many difficult conversations.

我可以。

I can.

你懂我意思吗？

You know I'm saying?

我可以。

I can.

是的。

Yeah.

看吧。

See.

而且，你知道，友谊和兄弟情谊都会受到考验。

And and, you know, the friendships and the brotherhoods, it gets challenged.

但当你们一起经历那些艰难时刻并走出来时，并不总是以同样的方式走出来。

But then, like, when you go through those trenches together and come out the other side, and it doesn't always come out the other side the same.

它只是以任何可能的方式走出来，但这也回到了你所说的，一切都有安排。

It just comes out the other side however it comes out, but that's also going back to what you were saying, everything's all arranged.

一切本该以它应有的方式发生。

Everything is supposed to happen how it's supposed to happen.

所以兄弟，对我来说，只要你是个Kinja成员，你就是我的兄弟。

And so when I even so, bro, like, if you are a Kinja, to me, you are a brother.

无论你想以什么方式与我相处都可以，我会尽可能为你提供支持。

However you wanna be around me, be around me, but I'm gonna make myself as available to you as I can.

但我觉得你说想成为Kinja成员时，你并不需要这个身份。

But, like, I feel that you saying that you wanted to be a Kinja, you don't need this.

你并不是在这里追逐名利。

It's not like you're clout chasing over here.

不是说'哦，我必须加入这个舞蹈团队'。

Like, oh, I need to be a part of this dance crew.

我觉得你真正想表达的是：我想成为兄弟情谊的一部分。

I feel like what you were saying is I wanna be a part of a brotherhood.

我想加入这个你看到的、真实存在的大家庭，成为其中的一员。

I wanna be a part of a family that you see that is what it is over here, and you wanna be a part of that.

我特别喜欢这一点，因为我觉得每个人都需要这样的归属感。

And I love that because I feel like everybody needs that.

每个人都需要所谓的'阿金贾斯'，对吧？一个可以归属的地方，一个让他们感觉'这是我的社群'的地方。

Everybody needs Akinjas, quote unquote, right, a a place to belong, a place where they feel like this is my community.

来到这里我就能完全卸下心防。

I get to just disarm when I come here.

我可以做真实的自己——想哭就哭，想发泄就发泄，或者单纯放松都可以。

I get to be myself if I feel like I need to cry or if I need to vent or if I need to just chill.

你明白我的意思吗？

And you know what I'm saying?

还能一起创作，创作出很棒的作品。

And create and, you know, create dope stuff.

我希望在你感到孤独时能提醒你：随时可以联系团队里的任何人。

I hope to remind you anytime you might feel lonely like just remember you could hit at any anyone in the squad.

我只是希望你知道这一点。

I just hope you know that.

我说我现在正在恢复，今年正在恢复，是因为我觉得自己也与这有很大关系。

The reason why I say I'm recovering now, like I'm recovering this year because I felt like I had a lot to do with it too.

我的行为方式，我对团队或行业的反应方式，我开始反思了。

The way I acted, the way I reacted to my team or in the industry or whatever, I started to reflect.

以前我只是，就像无论什么反思我都不在乎，只管继续前进，就像我只是直视前方冲刺。但现在当我回头看时，嘿，我失去了很多东西，但也经历了很多不同的问题，我开始捡起所有那些东西，开始回顾和反思自己，嘿，这对我帮助很大。

Before I just, I was just like whatever reflection I didn't give a fuck just move on like I was just looking straight and sprinting But now it's just like when I look back, hey, I lost a lot of stuff but I went through a lot of different problems and I start to pick up all the stuff that, you know, I start to review and reflect on myself, hey, you know, and that helped me a lot.

还有，我意识到很多人也经历着同样的困境，你知道，每个人的灵魂和内心在某种程度上都是孤独的，但我曾以为这样不正常，现在我想，嘿。

Also, like, I realized a lot of people go through the same shit too, you know, everyone's in some way alone in soul and heart but I felt like, I thought it wasn't okay, but now I think, hey.

这就是生活的一部分，而且很美好。

It's it's it's a part of life and it's beautiful.

听起来确实如此，而且我很喜欢你用'美好'这个词来形容。

It does sound it does sound in a and I love that you said that that that is beautiful, by the way.

你知道吗？

You know?

我是说，我们所有人都在学习和成长，能够认识到自己内心的东西是人生旅程中如此强大的一部分，你明白吗。

I mean, all of us learning and growing and stuff and being able to even acknowledge stuff within ourselves is such a powerful part of the life's journey, you know.

但听起来确实如此，即便你提到的所有这些，这也是为什么我早先说，也许你需要一些完全独立于拼搏、事业之外的东西，明白我的意思吗？从你毕生奋斗追求的一切中抽离——那些你为自己、为家人、为父母拼命争取的所有。

But it does sound, you know, even with everything you're mentioning too, this is why I was saying earlier, it's like, maybe you could use something that is almost like completely separate from the hustle, from the business, from, know what I mean, from everything that you have worked so hard for sprinting, you know, your entire life to get and obtain everything that you want for yourself, for your family, for your parents, everything like that.

或许是些截然不同的事，你提到想结婚、生子、组建家庭，还有独处之类的事情。

Maybe something separate and you mentioned things like wanting to get married, having children, having a family, you know, being alone and stuff like that.

你正在采取哪些行动来推动寻找灵魂伴侣、寻找真爱的进程？

What are you doing to to push, you know, finding like a soul mate, finding your love, you know what I mean?

4点35分的时候，我就要结婚了。

At 04:35, I'm gonna get married.

好的。

Okay.

我会组建家庭。

I'm gonna have a family.

如果没成功，我大概会在社交媒体上发帖说：'嘿，伙计们，你们知道吗？'

And if I don't, I'm just probably gonna post on social media like, hey, you know what guys, I

还剩一年时间。你尝试过约会世界了吗？

think I have a year left and Have you explored the dating world at all?

这很难啊兄弟，过去十年我一直在飞来飞去，酒店就是我的家。

It's hard bro, like, because for past ten years I've been flying around, hotels are my home.

没错。

Right.

但父母在的地方才是我的家。

But wherever my parents are, that's my home.

有时候即使回到真正的家，比如我的公寓，也会觉得陌生。

And sometimes, even when I get back to my real home, like my apartment, I feel strange.

感觉就像...靠。

I feel like I feel like, oh, shit.

那地方的气场根本不像我家，你懂吧。

It's not really like my house, the vibe of it, you know.

在你称之为家的实际住所里，你并没有家的感觉。

You don't feel at home at your actual place where you call home.

是啊。

Yeah.

哦，这很有意思。

Oh, that's interesting.

不。

No.

不是我在韩国或其他地方的那个家。

Not with my the the one in Korea or like other places.

但当我与家人在一起时，即使是在酒店，也感觉像家一样。

But when I'm with my family, even if we're in a hotel, it feels like home.

但不是十年那么久，兄弟。

But not like ten years, man.

我十年都没休息过。

I never had a break for ten years.

连假期都没有。

Not even vacation.

但你得...

But you you gotta

但现在对我来说感觉就像在度假。

But even now now now feels like vacation for me right now.

欢迎来到国王的播客，这里让你感觉像在度假。

Welcome to the King's podcast where it feels like a vacation.

太棒了，老兄。

That's great, man.

我最近和父母一起休了一天假。

And I I recently had one day vacation with my parents.

我们去了海南。

We went to Hainan.

嗯哼。

Uh-huh.

那里就像是中国的夏威夷。

It's like the Hawaii of China.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

去了海南。

Went to Hainan.

很美的地方。

Beautiful place.

我们早上7点到的海南，11点就开始喝酒了。

And we arrived 7AM in Hainan and we started drinking 11AM.

你

You

和你父母一起喝酒？

drink with your parents?

对啊。

Yeah.

不是。

No.

我父母喝酒能喝死我，老兄。

My parents can kill me in drinking, man.

哟。

Yo.

太厉害了。

That's tight.

我爸66岁了。

My dad's 66.

他能喝倒我。

He can kill me.

我们从上午11点喝到凌晨4点。

11AM, we drink until 4AM.

茅台。

Mau Tai.

中国人酒量真的很好，然后我就喝挂了。

The Chinese is really good and then I died.

就像，我刚说，哦，

Like, I just went, oh,

老爸，你都66岁了怎么还能这样，简直要了我的命。

dad, how can you 66, how can you still, like, you killed me.

这就是老爸的威力啊，兄弟。

It's that dad energy, man.

是啊。

Yeah.

不过那真是个很酷的时刻，老兄。

That's a cool moment though, man.

一天的假期。

One day vacation.

一天的假期。

One day vacation.

我从来没有

I've never

我从未和我父亲有过那样的时刻，老兄。

had that with my dad, man.

听起来那真是段美好的

So that that sounds like a a beautiful

他是不是非常严厉

What what what is he very strict

还是什么？不是的。

or what it No.

我父亲在那之前就去世了。

My dad my dad passed away before that.

我是说，他在我14岁那年遭遇枪击。

I mean, he got shot when I was when I was 14 years old.

对此我很遗憾。

So I'm sorry.

但他，你知道，他活了下来——其实我在另一期节目里聊过这事——他带着脑损伤活了下来。

But he, you know, he, like, survived and then I actually talked about this on another episode, but he survived with brain damage.

所以我从未有过正常的父子关系，没有一个能教导我、陪我成长，或是带我喝第一杯酒的父亲。

So I never had a proper father son relationship where, like, I grew up with a father who was, like, teaching me things and was able to have a you know, give me my first drink or any of that.

所以当我听到这样的故事时，兄弟，真的让我很感动。

So I I when when I hear stuff like that, man, that's that's very heartwarming, bro.

那真是...

That's that's

我跟我妈也是这样。

Even with my mom.

但我妈不喝酒。

But my mom don't drink.

你成功回避了我关于你如何寻找真爱的问题。

You've done a great job avoiding my question about how you're looking for love.

靠，老兄。

Fuck, man.

你还记得这事啊？

You still remember that?

是啊

Yeah.

我记得

I do.

我记得

I do.

你是怎么寻找爱情的

How you looking for love

你现在和你妻子关系怎么样？

How are you with your wife right now?

你和你的...听着，如果我们能私下谈这个，不在镜头前的话...我觉得所有观众、粉丝，这个社区的每个人都应该知道

How are you with your hey, this fucking hey, if if we can talk about it personally, like, off camera, I feel like all the audience, followers, whatever in this community deserves to know.

当然

Absolutely.

为什么不呢？

Why not?

当然。

Absolutely.

什么问题？

What's the question?

兄弟，你的婚姻生活怎么样？

How's it how's your marriage life, brother?

当你最近刚结婚时，就像我这样，很多人会问'婚姻生活怎么样？'

When you when you get recently married, as I have been, a lot of times people are oh, how's marriage?

比如，有什么不同？

Like, what's the difference?

我觉得这个问题很有意思。

And I think that's such a fun question.

对吧？

Right?

显然，我正在经历人生中全新的体验，希望也是最后一次。

Obviously, I'm experiencing something brand new for the first time, hopefully last time.

真美好。

That's beautiful.

但我觉得之前没人用过这么美妙的比喻。

But I think it's it's you don't somebody put a beautiful analogy before.

就像往杯子里装一堆石头。

It's like putting a bunch of like rocks in a cup.

对吧？

Right?

你以为杯子已经满了，却没意识到还有那么多空间——当你倒入沙子时，突然发现还有这么多缝隙可以填满。

You feel like your cup is full and you didn't realize that there's still so much room because it's second you put like sand in it, suddenly there's so many more crevices to fill.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

或者换个比喻，你可能以为汉堡的肉饼就是全部，但像酱料或番茄酱这样基础的东西。

Or or or another analogy, you might think you got like the the meat of your burger, but something as basic as like a sauce or like ketchup.

如此微小。

So small.

它不是首要的，也不是主要的，但却能让风味变得如此浓郁。

It's not the first it's not the major thing, but it makes the flavor so much more intense.

它完善了

It completes

我觉得这就像是婚姻有时候的样子。

I feel like that's what, like, marriage is like sometimes.

因为你以为自己已经拥有所需的一切，但正是那小小的点缀彻底改变了这道菜。

Because you think you have everything you need, but there was, like, a small garnish that changed everything about that dish.

哦，

Oh,

靠。

shit.

知道

Know

你

You

什么

what

我是说？

I mean?

这其中蕴含着如此强大而美好的东西，除非你开始品尝并体验这类事物，否则你永远不会知道，明白吗？

There's something so powerful and beautiful about that that I would have net you would not know until you start to taste and experience that type of thing, you know.

就像，信任的变化——尽管这听起来像个玩笑——但你能在配偶面前放屁的那种自在感是完全不同的。

Like, the the the change in trust and as much as this is like a joke, it's like the comfort in which you, like, will fart in front of your spouse is just different.

就像在说，你现在离不开我了。

It's like, you can't leave me now.

我明白这一点。

I know this.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

这感觉更深刻了。

It's just deeper.

你要放更深的屁了。

You're gonna deeper fart.

你懂我意思吗？

You know what I mean?

这类1%的微小改变，实际上比之前50%的努力更具力量。

Those types of things that that 1% change is is actually more powerful than, like, the former 50% to get there.

而且这种差异，我不知道该怎么解释，但它确实存在且强大有力。

And and, like, those those that difference, like, I don't know how to explain it, but it's there and and it's it's it's powerful.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

也许这源于未婚时那种脆弱与不安的心理。

Maybe this stems from, like, a a concept of vulnerability and insecurity when you're not married.

但潜意识里总有个挥之不去的念头——这段关系可能不会长久。

But there's always this unchecked, like, little notion whether you're subconscious about it or not in back of your head, like, this may not work out.

抱歉打断一下。

Sorry to interrupt.

我们刚好有个节目。

We just have a thing.

我们有个播客叫《科米特和梅奥的观点》。

We have a podcast called Kermit and Mayo's Take.

哦，那个节目啊。

Oh, that thing.

是的。

Yes.

而且不止一个。

But not just one.

如果你在苹果播客或extratakes.com上订阅，每周可以收听两档无广告节目。

If you become a subscriber on Apple Podcasts or at extratakes.com, you can listen to not one but two shows ad free every week.

主节目每周五更新，免费收听。

The main show drops on Friday and is available for free.

欢迎在任意播客平台收听最热门的影视评论节目。

Tune in to hear the biggest film and TV reviews wherever you get your podcast.

直接搜索Koma DeMeo's Take。

Just search for Koma DeMeo's Take.

额外内容会在周一早上发布。

And the extra stuff drops on a Monday morning.

访问extratakes.com或在苹果播客上订阅收听。

Head to extratakes.com or subscribe on Apple podcasts to listen.

但当你承诺那种‘至死不渝’的终身婚姻时，连那一点小事也消失了，突然间你看待事物的方式就不同了。

But when you commit to that lifelong till death do us part type of marriage and that one little thing is gone too, suddenly the way that you perceive things is different.

其中有部分是这样的。

There's parts of it.

就像我说的，这很有挑战性，但同时也非常美好，你懂吗？

Like I said, it's challenging, but it's also so beautiful, you know?

所以我也说不清。

So I don't know.

就是很令人兴奋。

It's just exciting.

我完全回到了未知的状态，但我想这正是我们享受生活如此激动人心的原因。

I'm I'm completely back into an unknown, but I think that's what we enjoy so much excitement of life.

从来都不是确切知道事情会如何发展，而是知道你将与某人一起经历那段未知的旅程。

It's never about knowing exactly how things are gonna work out, but it's about, like, knowing that you're gonna be on that unknown ride with somebody.

感谢分享这些，兄弟。

Thanks for sharing that, man.

我甚至不知道这个。

I didn't even know this.

我甚至不知道，是啊。

I didn't even know yeah.

就像，我我想知道婚姻生活是怎样的，兄弟。

Like, I I wanted to know how how marriage life has been, man.

看吧，这就是为什么我们要谈论这些

See, this is why we talk about we have

一个播客，因为我们在这里讨论真实的东西。

a podcast because we talk about the real stuff here.

是啊。

Yeah.

我们平时出去玩的时候都没这样聊过。

We didn't we didn't even do that when we're hanging out.

我们也从没在播客里采访过自己。

We also never interview ourselves on a podcast.

那也是...不过本·希尔也是。

That's also But what about That's also Ben Hill.

没错。

Yes.

嘿，最近怎么样，老兄？

What up what's up, man?

你...你这话是什么意思？

What what do you mean?

最近好吗，本？

What's up, Ben?

什么什么是

What what is a

不。

No.

你懂我意思吧，兄弟。

You know what I'm saying, man.

装作你

Act like you don't

不懂。

know.

不是我

Not I'm

没结婚。

not married.

所以我41岁了，你知道，我原以为30岁前就能结婚的，兄弟。

So I'm I'm 41 and, you know, I thought I was gonna be married by 30, bro.

你懂我意思吗？

You know what I mean?

就像，我二十多岁时觉得，哦，我肯定30岁前会结婚，然后三十出头就会有孩子。

Like, I I thought in my twenties, I'm like, oh, I'm for sure gonna be married by 30 and then I have kids by, like, early thirties.

但是，老兄，生活就是生活。

And, man, life is life is life.

它并不一定会给你你以为计划好的东西。

It just doesn't necessarily give you what you thought you had planned.

它只是自然而然地变成了现在的样子。

And It just naturally turned into what what what it is.

是啊。

Yeah.

但就像你之前说的，人总会做些不那么光彩的事。

But, you know, there's there's like, as you were talking about earlier, man, you know, you make your, you know, things that you aren't so proud of.

你会犯错，会做出些让自己后悔的决定，希望当初没那样做或者能更明智些。

You make your mistakes and decisions to do things that you're like, man, I wish I hadn't done that and or I wish I was, you know, a bit smarter about this.

而且这种情况很多。

And there's a lot of that.

所以，你知道，41岁快42岁了，我也处在一个不得不思考的阶段：如果我永远不结婚呢？

And and so, you know, at 41 going on 42, you know, I I also I'm also at a place where I also have to be like, what if I never get married?

嗯。

Mhmm.

我会没事吗？

Am I gonna be okay?

你对这个有恐惧吗？还是没有？

Are you you have fear for that or you don't No.

我觉得我没有。

I don't think I do.

我是说，我想结婚。嗯。

I I mean, I think I wanna get married Mhmm.

但我内心深处也有很大一部分觉得不结婚也没关系。

But there is a there is a big side of me that is okay if I don't.

因为单身这么久，我觉得我已经非常懂得如何过好这种单身生活了。

Because having been single for so long, I think I know how to live this single life very well.

而且并不是那种'哦，我可以去派对、可以随便约会、想干嘛就干嘛'的状态。

And it's not the, like, oh, I get to party and I get to go hook up and do whatever I want.

我无需向任何人交代。

I have nobody to answer to.

但我知道，对我来说，我能够充分利用我的时间。

But I know, for me, like, I am able to utilize my my time.

因为说到底，生活就是关于时间的。

Because, I mean, at the end of the day, life is about time.

对吧？

Right?

我们无法让时光倒流。

We can't reverse the clock.

无论我们愿不愿意，时钟都会自顾自地往前走。

The clock will go without us whether we want it or not.

而当你结婚生子后，你的时间就不再属于你自己了。

And and when you are married, when you have children, your time is now not your time.

它现在要与你的配偶、孩子共享。

It is now divided with your spouse, your children.

它不再是你一个人的了。

It is not yours anymore.

嗯。

Mhmm.

并不是说要自私地认为'哦我可以去玩乐享受一切'。

And not to make it about just selfishly, like, oh, I get to go play and enjoy myself all of it.

但就像我学到的，特别是在过去疫情期间。

But, like, I have learned, especially in the past, during I'll just say the pandemic.

疫情真的让我深入思考生命中真正重要的是什么。

The pandemic really made me, like, think very, like, intently about what what really matters in life.

那就是你在这世上留下的印记。

And it's it's the imprint that you leave on this earth.

人们不会因为你的成就、奖项、财富或粉丝数量而记住你。

People don't remember you for your accomplishments and the the awards and how much money you had and how many followers you had.

他们会因为你带给他们的感受而记住你。

They remember you for how you made them feel.

确实如此。

Definitely.

就像，你如何

Like, of how you

你对他们产生的影响。

The impact you made them.

对。

Yeah.

比如，你在他们生命中扮演了怎样的角色？

The like, who were you in their life?

而不是你取得了什么成就。

Not like, what did you accomplish?

我领悟到，对我人生影响最深的人，往往是那些为我付出、牺牲自我的人。

I've learned that the people that have had the most impact on my life are the people that sort of served and gave themself up for me and sacrificed for me.

所以对我来说，我真正在乎的只有服务他人，我希望人们能感受到被爱。

So, like, for me, I've learned I only really care about serving people, and I want people to feel loved.

我希望人们能感受到被关注。

I want people to feel seen.

我希望人们能感受到被倾听。

I want people to feel heard.

因此只要我能做到，并且能随心所欲地随时做到这一点

And so if I can do that and if I can do that as much as I want, anytime I want

没错。

Right.

那太棒了。

That's amazing.

所以对我而言，单身意味着可以自由支配时间，按我认为合适的方式去使用它。

So to me, singleness is the freedom to use my time in the way that I feel like it's available.

嗯。

Mhmm.

比如，去服务他人、与人建立联系，这些让我有所收获。

Like, it like, to to serve and to connect with people, like, I get something out of that.

好的。

Okay.

我感觉很充实。

Like, I feel fulfilled.

我觉得，哇。

I feel like, wow.

你知道吗？

Like, you know what?

这不是关于我的。

It's not about me.

而且这种人与人之间的联系让我感到满足，这能帮助我回到家后感觉，嘿。

And and and the fact that we got this, like, human to human connection, that fulfills me, and that that helps me go back home and feel like, yo.

这不只是关于我一个人。

It's not about just me.

我并不孤单。

I'm not alone.

每个人在某种程度上都会感到孤独。

Everybody in some way is going to feel alone.

但当你能与同样感到孤独的人建立联系时，那种感觉就像，哇。

But when you can connect with somebody who feels alone and you feel alone and you're like, woah.

我们都感到孤独，所以我想我们并不孤单，因为我们拥有彼此。

We're both feeling alone, so I guess we're not alone because we have each other.

我确实感觉到，是的，我的渴望。

I do feel like, yes, my desire.

是的。

Yeah.

我想要一个妻子。

I want a wife.

我想要孩子。

I wanna have kids.

我想要这一切。

I want all of that.

但我也清楚自己想要什么。

But I also know what I want.

而且，就像

And and, like

哦，对。

Oh, right.

而且具体。

And Specific.

当然，你可以说我挑剔，但我有自己的价值观，比如，伙计，有些事对我来说是绝对没得商量的。

And it's sure, you can call it picky, but I have my values of like, man, there's like some very clear nonnegotiable things for me.

比如，你知道的，关于我的信仰之类的事情。

Things like, you know, about my faith and things like that.

所以，你知道

And so, you know

如果你不信基督，他也不会去钓鱼。

If you ain't Christian, he ain't fishing.

哟，Ben Hyung现在是单身。

Yo, Ben Hyung is available.

所以各位

So guys

王嘉尔现在是单身。

Jackson Wang is available.

你

You

们可要错过机会了。

guys are missing out.

Ben Hyung现在是单身。

Ben Hyung is available.

谢了兄弟，我真的很感激。

I appreciate that, bro.

话说回来，老兄，我是说，哥们，我正享受生活呢，对现有的一切都真心感恩。

With that said, man, I mean, dude, I am loving life, and I am very thankful for legit everything as it is.

甚至那些有点不确定和让人不太舒服的事情。

Even the stuff that's a little bit unsure and the stuff that's a little bit uncomfortable.

而且，哥们，我很感谢你能来这儿，这么坦率地聊那些与世界认知不符的事情。

And, like, dude, I appreciate you coming on here and talking so openly about things not being as the world may perceive it to be.

你说过，大家都看着你，天啊。

You said, like, everybody looks at you, oh, man.

他们觉得你肯定过得风生水起，因为你做了这个，做了那个，正在做这些那些，就等同于——你肯定过着最幸福的生活。

You must be freaking killing it in life because you did this, you did that, you're doing this, you're doing that, and that somehow equates to this, like, you must be living the happiest life.

而你却主动说：不，老兄。

And you're very like, you're voluntarily saying, no, dude.

那并不是真正的快乐。

That's not, like, me being happy.

对吧？

Right?

你甚至还在说些事情。

And you're even saying something.

你很孤独。

You're lonely.

这需要很大勇气，兄弟。

That takes a lot of courage, bro.

能说出这样的话需要极大的胆量和勇气。

That takes a lot of boldness and courage to be able to say stuff like that.

但我觉得这才是人们真正需要听到的，因为咱们实话实说吧，兄弟。

But I think that's the real stuff that people need to hear because let's just keep it real, bro.

世界上有更多人并没有活成王嘉尔那种级别的生活。

There's more people out there that are not living the Jackson Wang life on that level.

对吧？

Right?

确实如此。

Exactly.

他们正感受着，唉，伙计。

They are feeling, oh, man.

我很孤独。

I'm lonely.

我其实并不像...我没赚到想赚的钱。

I'm not really like, I'm not making the money that I wanna make.

我没有想要的粉丝量。

I don't have the followers that I want.

我没在做这些酷炫的事，也没去这些酷炫的地方。

I I'm not doing all these cool things and going to all these cool places.

当然，但像Jackson Wang这样的人肯定混得风生水起，生活完全是另一回事。

Of course, but someone like a Jackson Wang, like, must be killing it and life must be a whole different thing.

但你在说，不。

But you are saying, no.

我感到孤独。

I'm feeling lonely.

这样就能让竞争环境变得公平。

And and like that evens out the playing field.

我认为这是人们需要知道的。

And I think that's what people need to know.

人类的体验与你拥有多少钱无关。

Like the human experience doesn't matter how much money you got.

我只想知道你有多大影响力。

I just want How much influence you have.

你说得完全正确，兄弟。

You're completely correct, My guy.

不，说真的，你说得完全正确。

No, for real, you're completely correct.

我只是觉得，没错，我想让他们知道，你从外部看到的这些东西——名声、人气、粉丝等等，说实话都是泡沫。

I just feel like, exactly, I wanted them to know that all these things that you're looking from the outside, the fame, the popularity, the followers, whatever it is, honestly speaking, it's bubbles.

我明天就可能失去这一切。

I can lose that tomorrow.

这根本毫无意义。

It doesn't mean shit.

对吧。

Right.

你懂我意思吗？

You get me?

这种想法有时会扰乱我们的心智，如果我们任由它主导，那一切就完了。

That sometimes plays with our mind and if we let that thought lead, it's all game over.

砰，全结束了。

Boom, it's done.

听着，千万别因为拥有几百万粉丝就沾沾自喜。

Like, don't don't don't get satisfied because, oh, is it oh, I have a couple million followers.

就觉得自己拥有了这些。

I have this.

这毫无意义。

It doesn't mean shit.

我感觉今天和上次的区别——可能只是我的主观投射——但我观察到这点，你可以谈谈看。

I feel like the difference between today and the last time, and I might just be projecting this, but I'm just observing it and you can speak on it.

嗯。

Mhmm.

你当时是国际流行歌手王嘉尔

You were Jackson Wang, the international pop

电视明星。

singer TV.

上次

The last time

你来的时候。

you were here.

而这次，你是以Kinjas成员王嘉尔的身份来的。

And then this time, you're here as Jackson Wang of the Kinjas.

我不知道你是否感觉有所不同。

And I don't know whether you feel different.

我觉得你只是舒适度不同了。

I feel like you're different in just your comfort level.

我不是说你和以前是完全不同的人。

And and not saying that, like, you were a different person than you are to or maybe you are.

我不知道。

I don't know.

你甚至说你现在处于恢复期，而且似乎更愿意谈论这些——我是说我们在讨论心理健康问题。

You're even saying, like, you're you're in this recovery mode, and and you're sorta, like, feeling a little bit more open to talk about I mean, we are talking about mental health.

说到底，我们谈论的是心理健康，谈论孤独感，谈论到了这个年纪本以为生活会按预期发展——老兄，你的时间在流逝。

At the end of the day, we're talking about mental health, talking about feeling lonely, talking about, like, man, like, by the time I hit this age that I, you know, figured that out my life would look a certain way and your your your clock is ticking, bro.

我们所有人的时间都在流逝。

All of our clocks are ticking.

和你交谈非常愉快。

I'm having a very enjoyable conversation with you.

不是说之前的对话不好，而是说我现在听到的是最真实的你，而这正是我们一直追求的，兄弟。

Not to say that the other one wasn't, but I'm saying because I'm getting the raw, and that's that's all we ever want, man.

这就是Kin的真谛，伙计。

And that's what Kin just freaking is, man.

就是

It's just come

是Kin。

It's Kin.

做真实的自己。

Come as you are.

做真实的自己，兄弟。

Come as you are, man.

无论你状态好坏

As good as you are or

或是处于任何状态都行。

as bad as you are or as whatever as you are.

但这里就是，嘿，我们都是试图度过这段经历的人类，我们都刚刚熬过了非常艰难的几年。

But it's it's a place where, like, yo, we we are all humans trying to get through this experience, and we've all come through a very difficult past few years.

而且，兄弟，咱们就实话实说吧。

And, bro, let's just be real about it.

我们会经历高潮时刻。

Like, we're gonna have high moments.

也会有些超赞的时刻。

We're gonna have some dope moments.

当然也会有些不那么酷的时刻。

We're gonna have some not dope moments.

没关系的。

It's okay.

这都是旅程的一部分。

It's a part of the journey.

我觉得，嘿，感激这一切吧，这很美好。

I feel like, yo, appreciate it and it's beautiful.

就像有高峰也有低谷。

Like, it's like highs and lows.

无论你跌得多低，有时候我也会觉得，当你以为已经跌到谷底时，那其实是最低点。

No matter how low you get, I feel like sometimes I feel that too when the lowest point you think you're at the lowest point.

我觉得有时候也要感激这些时刻，因为之后无论发生什么，都只会往上走。

I feel like sometimes just appreciate it too because whatever that happens after that, it's only gonna be up.

现在我也有这种感觉。

Now I feel that too.

这是事实。

That's the truth.

你知道我喜欢低谷时刻的什么吗？

You you know what I love about low moments?

当你和某人共度美好时光时，那是美好的回忆。

When you have like a good time with somebody, it's a good time, it's a good memory.

当你和某人一起经历一些糟糕事时，你们会变得非常亲密，因为你们一起熬过了难关。

When you go through some shit with somebody, you get real close because you you survive some shit.

艰难的经历才能真正拉近人们的距离。

The hard stuff is what really brings people together.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

我们很幸运能共同经历这么多人生起伏，多年来在各种境况下彼此陪伴，这远不只是彩虹与蝴蝶的美好。

We've been fortunate enough to like see enough life through with each other riding along, you know, beside each other in so many different instances for years now that it hasn't just been all rainbows and butterflies.

曾有过复杂的时期。

There's been complicated times.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

而我们能够共同度过那些时刻。

And we've been able to share through those moments.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

当我们输掉NBC《世界舞蹈大赛》时，嗯。

When we lost NBC World of Dance Mhmm.

那一整季最震撼的时刻，并不是我们表现超神的时候。

One of the most powerful moments on that entire season was not the moments that we, like, did super super dope.

嗯。

Mhmm.

而是我们输掉比赛后在更衣室一起痛哭的时刻。我觉得我们在很多方面都赢了，因为我们决定保持尊严的姿态离开，并且战略性地选择继续利用那些演出机会。

It was when we we lost and we fucking cried together in the dressing room, I feel like we came out on top in so many different ways because of the the way we decided to carry ourselves, the dignity we walked away with, and the the things that we chose in strategy to continue on even using those shows.

有些事情完全超出我们的掌控

There are things that are so out of our control

确实如此。

Definitely.

我们只需要关注自己能掌控的部分。

That we only need to focus on what we can't control.

那确实。

That's Definitely.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

增加

Increase of

那个。

that.

我不是要强行把你们讨论的内容类比到人生，但该死，生活就是这样，伙计。

And I'm not trying to draw this life analogy out of what you guys are talking about, but, freak, such is life, man.

就像，我们不可能总是赢得我们想赢的东西。

Like, we don't always win the things that we want to win.

对吧？

Right?

就像，我们参加这个比赛，这个电视节目。

Like, we want we we enter this, competition, this TV show.

当然，每个人参赛时都抱着要赢得头奖的意图。

Of course, everybody goes in with the intention we wanna win the first place prize.

对吧？

Right?

因为那就是目标。

Because that's, like, the goal.

但假设你没拿到第一名。

But let let's say you don't get the first place prize.

这是否意味着所有没拿第一的人都失败了？

Does that mean everybody that didn't get the first place prize failed?

不是的。

No.

而且只有一个团队或一个人赢了？

And only one one team or one person won?

不是的。

No.

每个人都从中获得了其他东西，那就是经验教训。

Everybody extracted something else from that, and it's the learning lessons.

就像你说的那样，热爱表达自我，热爱挑战自己的极限，超越你自认为的极限，然后惊叹。

It was as you're talking about, the love of expressing yourself, the love of, like, pushing yourself to beyond your limits, like or whatever you thought your limits were and be like, damn.

我其实可以突破那个界限。

I could actually go past that.

没错。

Right.

因为是被迫的，但现在我可以把这些经验应用到生活的其他方面。

Like, because I was forced to, but I'm like, man, now I can take this and apply that to other areas of my life.

但这恰恰就是生活的本质。

But, like, that's exactly what life is.

比方说我们没得到心仪的工作。

Like, we let's just say we don't get the job that we were hoping to get.

心仪的女孩没有答应我的追求，或者我们的健康状况不如预期。

We don't get the girl that was hoping, you know, to to say yes to me, or we don't, you know our health isn't exactly where we would want it to be.

但这些经历会以某种方式塑造你的人生，铸就你的品格。

But it's like those things shape your life in a way where it builds character.

如果你仍能看到成长的一面，尤其是在失败中。

And if you can still see that there is a growth aspect, especially in the losses.

那正是我们成长的地方。

That's legit where we grow.

我们不是在胜利中成长的。

We don't grow in the wins.

胜利只会让我们飘飘然——是的，我们庆祝胜利，因为胜利只告诉我们，之前所有的挣扎在奖杯时刻得到了回报。

The wins are they they they put us on high and that, yeah, we celebrate the wins because all the wins tell us is all that struggle that we put in prior to this, you know, trophy moment pays off.

但即使是那些挣扎才造就了奖杯时刻。

But, like, even those the struggles was what got that trophy moment.

但如果你没拿到奖杯，也不意味着那些挣扎毫无意义，只是因为你没拿到奖杯。

But then if you don't get the trophy, that doesn't mean all those struggles mean nothing just because you didn't get the trophy Yeah.

或者那个奖杯。

Or that trophy.

万一还有另一个奖杯在等着你呢？

What if there's another trophy for you?

但我太想要那个奖杯了。

But I wanted the trophy so much.

我

I

我明白。

get it.

我理解。

I get it.

但正是这种渴望让你保持饥渴。

But then that that keeps you hungry.

它让你保持谦逊。

It keeps you humble.

它让你持续努力，因为你知道，好吧。

It keeps you, like, stay working hard because it's like, okay.

该死。

Damn.

我真的很想要那个奖杯。

I really wanted that trophy.

这就是为什么我要继续努力，因为我确实想要人生中的一座奖杯，不管那是什么。

So that's why I'm gonna keep working hard because I do I do want a trophy in my life and whatever that is.

我只是觉得，在我们交谈的过程中，我看到了所有这些生活的比喻，伙计。

And I just I I think, like, as we're all talking, I'm just seeing all these just, like, life analogies, man.

你知道，我们会经历挣扎，但正是那些挣扎的时刻让我们成长，那些痛苦的时刻让我们找到自己的

Like, you know, we we are gonna struggle, but, like, those struggle moments are where we grow, and those pain moments is where we find our

确实如此。

Definitely.

教训。

Lessons.

那些就是

Those are

让我们更亲近的东西。

the things that bring us closer.

所以你到底想找什么样的女孩

So what kind of what kind of girl are

你在寻找什么样的？

you looking for?

解释一下。

Explain.

女孩？

Girl?

是啊。

Yeah.

嘿。

Hey.

说实话，我在寻找一个没有界限的人。

I'm looking for someone that honestly, I don't have a boundary.

就是那种能产生共鸣、有感觉的。

Like, whatever that clicks and whatever I have a vibe with.

但你肯定有偏好的类型吧。

You must have a type though.

会有那么一个瞬间。

There's a there's a moment.

会有那么一个瞬间。

There's a moment.

你上一任女友是什么族裔的？

What ethnicity was your last, like, a girlfriend?

亚裔。

Asian.

好吧。

Okay.

那是因为我当时在亚洲那边混啊，老兄。

It's because I was in a place because I was fucking I was in Asia, man.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

亚洲有很多亚洲人。

There's a lot of Asians in Asia.

我懂。

I get it.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

你懂我意思吧

You get me like

是的。

Yeah.

甚至几十亿都有。

Billions even.

是啊。

Yeah.

哇哦。

Woah.

哇哦。

Woah.

亚洲有数十亿亚洲人。

Billions of Asians in Asia.

是啊。

Yeah.

不。

No.

老实说，我没有边界感。

Honestly, I don't have boundary.

我没有边界感。

I don't have boundary.

任何事。

Anything.

很多

A lot

女孩现在就可以申请。

of girls can apply right now.

让我说完。

Let me finish.

那不是我们想要的品牌，我只是在开玩笑。

That's not the brand that we want to I'm put just kidding.

IO人。

The IO man.

是啊，那他妈是什么东西？

Yeah, what the fuck is that?

哟，嘿，嘿，我们在讨论这段关系，哦，想注册然后他们他妈的最终却要学习课程，搞什么啊老兄，哟，我他妈什么都不用做？

Yo, hey, hey, we're talking about this relationship, oh, want to register and then fucking they end up with oh I have to learn classes the fuck dude yo, what the fuck yo, yo I don't have to do anything?