本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
无处可逃。
There's no place to escape to.
这是最后一次了。
This is the last time.
在左边。
On the left.
为什么你
Why you
操你的眼神？
fuck your glaze?
那就是人吃人开始的时刻。
That's when the cannibalism started.
那是谁？
Who was that?
不在乎。
Don't care.
嗨。
Hi.
在岸上。
Up on the shore.
哦，他们不可能是爱尔兰人。
Oh, they can't be Irish.
你又变成爱尔兰人了。
You're Irish again.
哦，该死。
Oh, fuck.
但这有点像爱尔兰的。
But it's kind of like an Irish.
我今天早上在听雪莉讲话。
I was listening to Shirley talk this morning.
那位女士。
The The lady.
英国人，比如伦敦巴特西的口音。
The British, like, Battersea of London accents.
老兄，我当时看到她和雪莉关于新播客的采访，因为我不知道还有个大型播客节目。
Man, when I there was an interview with her with Shirley about the new podcast because I didn't know that there was a big extensive podcast.
是啊。
Yeah.
那是大约三年前的事了。
It's about three years ago.
我看着它，实际上并没有得出什么具体结论，除了最后雪莉说的——鬼魂其实一直存在。
And I looked at it and it, you know, really there doesn't really come to any specific conclusions except for the fact in the end like Shirley was like, ghosts were real all along.
你懂我意思吗？
You know I mean?
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
但当他们切到她讲话的画面时，这大概是三年前的视频吧。
But when they cut to her talking on this is like from, I guess, three years ago Yeah.
在这个早间电视节目上。
On this morning television show.
她就是那个鬼魂。
She's the ghost.
现在吗？
Now currently?
是的。
Yes.
英国人在活着的时候就会变成鬼魂。
British people turn into ghosts while they're alive.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
大概在44岁左右，我猜。
At age like 44, believe.
某天突然就变了，她原本是个年轻女孩，然后成了女人，接着突然间——你什么时候会变成那样呢？
Something happens where the one day, she was a young girl and then she was a woman, and then all of a sudden, what when do you turn into that?
我就知道鬼魂要来了。
I knew the ghost was coming.
你有
You have
不过你对老人有种特别的恐惧。
a You have a specific fear of old people, though.
你和杰姬都是。
You and Jackie both.
我是说，这是恐惧。
I mean, it's fear.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
这是一种恐惧。
It's a fear.
是的。
Yeah.
你们俩确实都害怕老人。
You have a true you you were both truly afraid of old people.
他们让你感到不安。
You're disturbed by them.
他们很容易对付。
They're easy to fight.
这很奇怪
It's the weird
你知道这是什么吗？
you know what it is?
它很松。
It's loose.
基础。
Basis.
他们对你构不成威胁。
They pose you no threat.
他们身上有些东西。
There's something about them.
我不喜欢他们。
I don't like them.
是啊。
Yeah.
我不喜欢他们。
I don't like them.
他们让我毛骨悚然。
They skeeve me out.
他们让你感到不安。
They make you uneasy.
确实如此。
They do.
而且我
And I
觉得从老人那里拿走一本便签纸，会毁了他们整个月的心情。
think take pad a of paper from an old person, it'll ruin their month.
我知道。
I know.
我想这就是问题所在。
I guess that's the problem.
问题是他们中有太多人一触即发。
Is that there's so many of them on hair triggers.
是啊。
Yeah.
一触即发。
Hair triggers.
但是但是想想
But but to think
一旦扣动扳机，会发生什么？
once the trigger is pulled, what happens?
什么都不会发生。
Nothing.
有时候他们会击落一架飞机。
Sometimes they take a plane down.
我
I
不知道，老兄。
don't know, man.
就像你拿走他们的袜子他们就会死一样。
It's just like you could take their socks and they'll die.
是啊。
Yeah.
欢迎收听《左边最后的播客》
Welcome to the last podcast on the left.
女士们先生们，我是马库斯·帕克斯
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks.
我身边这位是患有长者恐惧症的亨利·扎布罗夫斯基
I'm here with the elder phobic Henry Zabrowski.
作为一个女性，我得说没有什么比我的压力袜更能从本质上让我保持完整了
I would say that there's nothing that quite keeps me more together elementally as a female as my compression socks.
因为没有它，我就会爆炸
Because without him, I would explode.
我们还有一位掌握百万种杀死奶奶方法的人
And we also have the man who has a million ways to kill grandma.
他就是埃德·拉森
It's Ed Larson.
哦，没错
Oh, yeah.
你知道，有一件事，就是扇她至死。
You know, one one thing, slap her to death.
对。
Yeah.
只需放个枕头在
Just put a pillow over
她脸上。
her face.
说实话，只要你摇晃一个非常老的女人足够久。
Honestly, if you just shake a really old woman long enough.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
直接把空调拆了。
Just remove the air conditioning.
那绝对是夏日杀手。
That's always that's a summer kill.
那是个夏日杀手。
That's a summer kill.
冬天再装上。
Put it in on the winter.
那就是冬日杀手了。
That's a winter kill.
可以出点新周边，比如《和Ed Larson一起学习一千零一种摆脱奶奶的方法》。
That could see some, like, new merch, like a thousand and one ways to get rid of grandma with Ed Larson.
骰子 淹死他们。
Dice Drown them.
毒气解决。
Gas them.
哦，就像那种，你知道的，长方形的横版书。
Oh, like one of those, like, really, like, rectangle horizontal books.
不。
No.
我知道你一直想写一本笑话书。
I know you've always wanted to write a joke book.
我
I
确实想。
really do.
我觉得这可能就是你的笑话书了。
I think this might be your joke book.
一千零一种处理死女人的方法？
A thousand and one uses for a dead woman?
是啊。
Yeah.
死去的老妇人。
Dead old woman.
我很抱歉。
I'm sorry.
死去的老
Dead old
妇人。
woman.
死去的老老妇人。
Dead old old woman.
拜托。
Please.
是啊。
Yeah.
因为我们希望有人能活到寿终正寝。
Because we want someone to live the full life.
是啊。
Yeah.
抱歉。
Sorry.
让我们保持尊重。
Let let's be respectful.
而且没有任何的
And None of none of
那个没有
the none
这些方式他妈的没用。
of the ways uses are fucking.
不。
No.
我的都没有
None of my are
性方面的。
sexual.
他妈的。
Fucking.
不。
No.
不。
No.
什么？
What?
继续把你的铅笔刀塞进她屁股里。
Keep putting your pencil sharpener in her ass.
那是第98条。
That's that's number 98.
至于它有多涉及性方面还有待商榷。
Which is debatable as to how sexual it is.
今天，我们继续讲述巴特西骚灵事件第二部分，也就是结局篇。
Today, we are on the Battersea Poltergeist part two, the conclusion.
上次我们讲到巴特西骚灵时，这个自称唐纳德的灵体首次对15岁的伦敦女孩雪莉·希钦斯实施了暴力行为——当时他已脱离了与她的依附关系。
So when we last left the Battersea Poltergeist, the spirit had taken the name of Donald and had engaged in his first violent act against the girl he detached himself to, 15 year old Shirley Hitchings of London.
此前希钦斯一家无视了唐纳德反复提出的要求：让他点名指定的记者到家里来与他对话。
This was after the Hitchings family had ignored Donald's repeated requests to have specific reporters that Donald had called out by name drop by the house to talk to him.
在记者们没有出现后，据说骚灵唐纳德在深夜点燃了雪莉的床单。
And after the reporters didn't show up, Donald the poltergeist had allegedly lit Shirley's bedsheets on fire in the middle of the night.
虽然有人推测是雪莉自己放的火，但调查人员试图确定火灾真实原因时却一无所获。
And while it has been speculated that Shirley lit the fire herself, investigators came up with nothing when they tried to determine the fire's actual cause.
在我看来，这意味着火灾背后可能存在某种超自然力量，某种我们无法理解的东西。
To me, this implies that there could have been something paranormal behind the fire, something we don't understand.
但严格来说这就是超自然（paranormal）的字面意思。
But literally of the term paranormal.
是的。
Yes.
关于超自然这个术语。
Of the term paranormal.
是的。
Yes.
一些我们无法理解的事物。
Something we don't understand.
我并不是说是一个叫唐纳德的鬼魂放的火。
It's I'm not saying that it is a ghost named Donald who lit the fire.
更像是调查人员无法找出床单起火的任何常规原因。
More just like the investigators couldn't figure out, like, any conventional reason why the bed sheet set on fire.
而且，你知道，问题就在这里。
And, you know, that's the thing.
我不认为1956年一个15岁的女孩会具备足以难倒经验丰富的伦敦火灾调查员的纵火技巧。
I don't think that it's likely that a 15 year old girl in 1956 had the arson skills necessary to stump a hardened London fire investigator.
因为那是个极易燃烧的城市。
Because it's such a burnable city.
确实非常
It is very
是个极易燃烧的城市。
much a burnable city.
是啊。
Yeah.
他们刚刚经历了
They just gone through
火灾频发。
fire all the time.
他们刚刚经历了闪电战。
They've just gone through the blitz.
明白吗？
You know?
伦敦有太多可能起火的原因了。
Like, there's a of ways for London to burn down.
另外，我认为这是一个故事。
Also, I think that this is a story.
我上周提到过，但深入这个故事的另一面，你会明显发现一切都围绕着雪莉展开。
I talked about it last week, but even further into this side of the story, you begin to see it's obviously all around Shirley.
嗯。
Mhmm.
这如影随形地跟着她，我觉得很容易说这是个骗局。
It follows her everywhere she goes, and I think it's very easy to say that it's a hoax.
我其实认为更中立的讨论方向是，我们正在目睹一个真实的、受控的心灵事件，与伦敦一个家庭无意中创造的'思想形态'（tulpa）相结合的现象。
I actually think it's the the more middle way conversation is the fact that we're seeing an actual contained psychic event mixed with a creation of a tulpa completely accidentally by a family in London.
嗯。
Mhmm.
是啊。
Yeah.
更接近介于《魔女嘉莉》与会说话的猫鼬杰夫之间的某种存在。
Something closer to something between, yeah, Carrie and Jeff the talking mongoose.
是的。
Yes.
现在看来，火灾发生后，唐纳德已经接受了不会有更多记者前来的可能性。
Now it seems like after the fire, Donald resigned himself to the possibility that no more reporters were coming.
所以他别无选择，只能开始
So he had no choice but to begin to Start
自己吹响它们。
blowing them himself.
对。
Yeah.
抱歉。
Sorry.
我很抱歉。
I'm sorry.
谢谢。
Thank you.
你是被允许的。
You're You're allowed.
允许的。
Allowed.
所以他别无选择，只能开始与那位胖乎乎的超自然现象调查员哈罗德·奇比特交流，如果你还记得的话，哈罗德·奇比特就是给会写作的骚灵唐纳德命名的人。
So he had no choice but to begin communicating with the portly paranormal investigator that was Harold Chibbit, who, if you remember, Harold Chibbit was the guy who named Donald the poltergeist who writes.
这名字真够肥的。
It is a fat name.
是啊。
Yeah.
确实。
It is.
没错。
It is.
他就像被击中了。
He's like Hit hit him.
谁坐着。
Who sits.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不过有趣的是，当唐纳德与奇伯特开始交流时，他似乎很了解自己的听众。
Interestingly though, Donald seemed to know his audience when he and Chibot began communicating.
要知道，哈罗德·奇伯特不仅是名为'The Probe'的超自然团体创始人，还是一位科幻小说作家。
See, in addition to being the founder of a paranormal group called The Probe, Harold Chibot was also a science fiction author.
他对外星人非常感兴趣。
He was very interested in aliens.
因此在交流过程中，唐纳德发出一条信息，称他会'伤害任何不相信飞碟的人'。
So while communicating, Donald sent a message that he would, quote, do harm to anyone who don't believe in flying saucers.
这很酷。
That's cool.
谁不相信
Who don't believe
飞行的
in flying
碟子。
saucers.
不错。
Nice.
嗯，我
Well, I
猜这必须
guess that have to do
我会伤害任何不相信飞碟的人。
I do harm to anyone who don't believe in flying saucers.
好的。
Okay.
等一下
Hold on
一秒钟
a second.
让我想想
Let me think about this.
我不干
I don't fuck.
我相信耶
I believe Yay.
有道理
Fair enough.
双重否定
The double negative.
这就是他们用迈克尔·凯恩的英国鬼魂逻辑套路你的方式
That's how they get you with that Michael Caine British Ghost Logic.
嗯，唐纳德还声称他掌握了太空旅行的知识，这些知识是人类所未知的。
Well, Donald also claimed that he had knowledge of space travel, knowledge that was unknown to any human.
这是...我第一次听说
That's the this is the first time I've ever heard of a
闹鬼事件还牵扯到外星人。
poltergeist bringing aliens into it.
往北走。
Go north.
是啊。
Yeah.
他还知道有八英尺高的生物居住在我们太阳系中至少五个其他行星上。
And he also had knowledge of eight foot tall beings who were living on no less than five other planets in our solar system.
哦，可怜的小家伙只是...哦，抱歉。
Oh, poor chibbit just going, oh, sorry.
我刚在我的小桥那里弄出了一点小混乱。
I just made a little mess in my bridges.
这是我听过最离奇的燃烧话题了。
This is most fabulous conflagration topics I've ever heard.
这是要变成太空大灌篮吗？
Is this turning into space jam?
有可能。
It might.
我觉得是太空果冻。
I think it's space jelly.
哦。
Oh.
而且
And
更像是太空妈妈那种。
it's more space mama like.
太空妈妈。
Space mama.
我把它涂在我的松饼上。
I put it on my crumpets.
愤怒。
Angry.
但就在唐纳德刚和奇比特友好相处没多久，他又转而威胁要纵火。
But just as quickly as Donald had gotten friendly with Chibbit, he switched back to threats of arson.
他声称要放火烧南的床——南指的是雪莉的外祖母埃塞尔，还让大家做好防火准备。
He claimed that he was gonna set fire to Nan's bed, referring to Shirley's grandmother Ethel, and that everyone should get ready for fire.
就在发出威胁的当晚，家里的炉子反复自动开启，此后炉子无故自启在希钦斯家成了相当常见的现象。
And as it happened on the evening of that threat, the family's stove repeatedly turned itself on, and the stove kicking on by itself soon became a fairly regular occurrence in the Hitchings home.
那不是燃气灶。
It wasn't a gas stove.
是电炉，但仍然可能引发火灾。
It was an electric stove, but still, it could cause fires.
是啊。
Yeah.
这几乎是骚灵现象中最常见的第一类活动，就是与火有关以及操控炉灶。
That's almost number one in poltergeist activity in terms of, operating with fire and and operating a stove.
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得这很有趣。
Which I find interesting.
我刚刚在家里处理过这个'盒子里的鬼魂'事件，嗯。
I just dealt with this with the ghost in the box in my home Mhmm.
当时我们被告知——显然，当我们收到那个鬼魂时，杰森，我们就知道它会对火焰和火有问题，还会移动物品。
Where I was told that go obviously, when we received the ghost, Jason, we knew that it would have an issue with flame and fire and that it would move things.
他们是这么说的。
That's what they said.
我和杰森谈过。
And I spoke with Jason.
确实如此。
It's true.
我给了他一个小礼物。
I gave him a little gift.
他们给了他一卷大麻和一些酒，因为我知道他生前喜欢这些。
They gave him a joint and gave him some alcohol because I knew he liked that in life.
然后我去烧烤时，正和杰森聊天。
And then when I went I was grilling and I was talking with Jason.
我当时已经把汉堡放在烤架上，火开得正旺。
And I had put hamburgers out on the grill with it fully going.
等我再出来时，烤架的火已经关了。
And then when I came back out, the grill was turned off.
真的吗？
Really?
是的。
Yes.
我们只是煤气用完了？
We just run out of gas?
不是。
No.
所有旋钮都被拧关了。
The dials were completely turned.
哦，可能是个厨师干的，它生气你把食物烤焦了。
Oh, maybe it was a cook, and it was mad you were burning the food.
我没有。
I wasn't.
我设了定时器的。
I had a timer.
听起来你确实烤焦了。
Sounds like you were burning it.
我现在不会那样做了。
I don't do that anymore.
而且，在烤架上把汉堡烤到合适温度非常困难。
Also, it's very difficult to cook hamburgers to temperature on a grill.
我们都知道这一点。
We all know this.
如果你在露天烧烤时还要求汉堡要三分熟，那就请滚蛋。
And if you're asking for medium rare temperature burger at a fucking backyard barbecue, leave.
是啊。
Yeah.
不。
No.
你绝对应该这么做。
You definitely should.
我现在正试图理解这件事。
I'm trying to wrap my head around this right now.
所以哈罗德·奇比特，在我看来事情是这样的。
So Harold Chibbit this is what it looks like to me.
好吧。
Okay.
好吧。
Alright.
哈罗德·奇比特是个骗子，但有个
Harold Chibbit is a fraud, but there's a
房子里真的有鬼。
real ghost in the house.
我不相信哈罗德·奇比特是骗子。
I don't believe that Harold Chibbit is a fraud.
哈罗德，好吧。
Harold Okay.
哈罗德·奇比特是真正的信徒。
Harold Chibbit is a true believer.
实际上他不是，我会把哈罗德·奇比特归为，你知道的，就像那些在恩菲尔德闹鬼事件中的人一样。
He's not actually, I would put Harold Chibbit in the category of, you know, like the guys who were at the Enfield Poltergeist House.
好的。
Okay.
哈罗德。
Harold.
但那是什么？
But the the what's it?
教区长住宅。
The Rectory.
博雷利教区长住宅。
The Borley Rectory.
博雷利教区长住宅。
Borley Rectory.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
哈罗德·奇贝特是个彻头彻尾的忠实信徒。
Harold Chibbett is a true fucking believer.
事实上，他如此深信不疑，以至于愿意花费数年时间寻找方法向世界证明这是真实的。
In fact, he is such a believer that he's gonna spend years of his life trying to find a way to tell the world that this is real.
好的。
Okay.
是啊。
Yeah.
他他他确实是个过度虔诚的信徒。
He he's he is a a true believer to a fault.
好的。
Okay.
而且这也是一种特定类型的幽灵调查。
And it's also a specific type of ghost investigation.
在美国，我们把它搞得很激进。
In America, we made it very agro.
对吧？
Right?
这种观念认为这是正义力量之间的一场较量
The idea of that it's some battle between these forces of good
还穿着战术背心之类的
and like tactical vests on and
之类的。
shit.
是啊。
Yeah.
头灯。
Headlamps.
这始于沃伦夫妇发起的类似战争的方式。
It started with the war like, the Warrens Made it.
开创了这种对抗式的捉鬼风格。
Started this, like, antagonistic style of of of ghost hunting.
这些人更像是野生动物摄影师那种类型。
These guys really were more like, I put like wildlife photographers.
是的。
Yeah.
就像，他只是想在场见证，因为他相信只要我们把这些信息分类整理，总有一天会找到证据。
Like, he wanted to just be there and witness because he believed that if we just categorize all of this information, one day there will be a piece of proof.
所以他其实就只是待在那栋房子里。
So he really is kind of just in the house.
但这可能会激发出一个小女孩寻求关注的行为，或者是一个拥有未开发通灵能力的小女孩。
But that might instigate behavior from a little girl who's looking for attention or potentially a little girl who has untapped psychic abilities.
对。
Yeah.
而且她还喜欢哈罗德·奇普里的男孩们。
And also she likes boys in Harold Chip.
是哈罗德·奇普。
It's Harold Chip.
他是个男人。
He's a man.
嗯
Mhmm.
而且她还没培养出对高大魁梧英国男人的品味
And she don't got that taste yet for a big thick British man.
你得喜欢背心绒毛、雪茄烟灰这些特质
You gotta like vest fluff, cigar ash.
是的
Yes.
那些标准尚未消失，她也还没接受自己不能两者兼得
The standards have not yet gone away, and she has not yet accepted that she can't have both.
在威胁要活活烧死埃塞尔奶奶后，唐纳德开始直接辱骂雪莉的奶奶
Now after threatening to burn grandma Ethel alive, Donald began hurling insults directly at Shirley's nan.
哇哦
Woah.
要知道埃塞尔和雪莉的关系本来就有裂痕
See Ethel and Shirley had somewhat of a strained relationship.
尽管这种紧张关系非常普遍、非常中产阶级，也非常英国化。
Although the strain was very normal, very middle class, and very British.
显然，埃塞尔拒绝教雪莉制作蕾丝，因为雪莉太没耐心，无法真正掌握这门手艺。
Apparently, Ethel refused to teach Shirley how to make lace because Shirley was too impatient to master the craft properly.
闭嘴。
Shut up.
而雪莉非常生气。
And Shirley was very mad.
哦，你是因为不能做蕾丝而生气吗？
Oh, you're mad about not making lace?
闭嘴。
Shut up.
哦，我想做蕾丝。
Oh, I wanna make lace.
你不行。
You can't.
你太没耐心了。
You're too impatient.
我们对抗过大屠杀。
We fought the holocaust.
雪莉，你做了什么？
What did you do, Shirley?
也许床单就是这么回事。
Maybe that's what happened with the bedsheets.
她只是想快速制作蕾丝，在上面弄出小洞。
She was just trying to get a quick way to make lace and bring little holes in it.
谁知道呢？
Who knows?
太快了。
Too quick.
没错。
Yep.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
尽管这似乎是雪莉和埃瑟尔之间最严重的冲突，但唐纳德在1956年3月下旬开始将怒火集中在埃瑟尔身上，通过使用希契斯家族开发的繁琐的一次一个字母的系统传递侮辱信息。
But even though this seemed to be the worst of Shirley and Ethel's conflicts, Donald began focusing his ire on Ethel in late March nineteen fifty six by communicating insults through messages using the tedious one letter at a time system the Hitchings family had developed.
一个一个字母地敲出来，我觉得这特别滑稽。
Tapping out each letter one by one, and I just find it so funny.
因为，想象一下，就在亨利阅读之前，当亨利正在读这个的时候，想想看，这些人正在一个字母一个字母地拼出整条信息。
Because, like, think about this when right before Henry reads like, as Henry's reading this, think about this, is that these people are writing out this entire message one letter at a time.
所以就像是
So it's like
是字母C。
it's C.
嗯，实际情况是他们正在移动手指。
Well, it's what it is is they're moving their finger.
他们有一个字母C。
They have a piece C.
他们有一张纸。
They have a piece of paper.
这就像一块通灵板。
It's like a Ouija board.
这就像一块通灵板。
It's like a Ouija board.
他们有张写满整个字母表的纸，当他们指到某个字母时，比如d，就会听到提示，然后记下d。
They have a piece of paper with the entire alphabet written on it, and then when they get to a certain letter, when they get to, like, d, they'll hear, like and then, like, they write down d.
接着他们指到e，再记下这个字母。
And then they get to e, and then write that down.
是按顺序排列的吗？是QWERTY键盘那种布局吗？
Now is it in order, is it the qwerty system?
是按顺序排列的。
It's in order.
是按顺序排列的。
It's in order.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是按顺序的。
It's in order.
但这条信息可能花了半小时到四十五分钟才破译出来。
But this is the message that took probably half an hour, forty five minutes to decipher.
愚蠢的老糊涂。
Silly, silly old bugger.
她是个老泼妇。
She is old battle axe.
快得像鼻子长得像过熟的甜菜根。
Fast like nose overgrown beetroot.
愚蠢的老太婆，照我说的做，饭桶猴子脸，话痨，屁股毛，你拉屎你。
Silly old cow, do as I say, shit pan monkey chops, windbag, bum fluff, shit you shit.
就是屎。
Just shit.
你你妈的。
You you shit.
妈的。
Shit.
你妈的。
You shit.
你妈的。
You shit.
妈的。
Shit.
妈的。
Shit.
妈的。
Shit.
最后开始失控了。
Started losing it at the end.
呃，他我是说，我是说，你这坨屎。
Well, he I mean, I mean, you shit.
你这坨屎。
You shit.
屎。
Shit.
然后那就是'用你的语言表达'。
And then that's Use your words.
这件事奇怪的地方在于，尽管他们是一个字母一个字母、一个词一个词地敲出来的，但有时这些信息会随着时间推移变得越来越狂乱。
That's weird thing about it is it does sometimes these even though they're tapping out the letter tapping out the words one at a time, the messages do at times become more frenzied as they go on.
嗯哼。
Uh-huh.
是的。
Yes.
S。
S.
哦。
Oh.
有意思。
Interesting.
是的。
Yes.
H。
H.
也许她，她，我。
Maybe she, she, I.
哦，t，好吧。
Oh, t, fine.
你。
You.
去你的。
Fuck you.
操我。
Fuck me.
操你。
Fuck you.
操我。
Fuck me.
闭嘴。
Shut me.
我是废物。
I'm shit.
我就是那个废物。
I'm the one who shit.
话痨。
Windbag.
我明白了。
I see.
哦，小屁孩。
Oh, bum fluff.
小屁孩。
Bum fluff.
有意思。
Interesting.
现在不是要让你当混蛋，但这个法国小男孩怎么会说英语？
Now not to keep you an asshole, but how does this little French boy speak English?
嗯，他也会说法语。
Well, he also speaks French.
我大概
I'm about
八岁
eight years
大。
old.
他懂个屁，你个蠢货。
He doesn't know shit, you shit.
他15岁了。
He's 15.
是啊。
Yeah.
我那时15岁。
I was 15.
15岁。
15.
没错。
Yeah.
我以为那个小男孩八岁就死了。
I thought the little boy died at eight.
不。
No.
那个小男孩确实在八岁去世了。
Well, the little boy died at eight.
但我在天堂长大。
But I grew up in heaven.
我是
Am I
太超前了？
getting ahead of myself?
你太超前了。
Getting ahead of yourself.
对此我很抱歉。
Sorry about that.
不。
No.
没关系。
It's fine.
没关系。
It's fine.
没关系。
It's fine.
我在天堂长大。
I grew up in heaven.
在天堂，每个人都是30岁。
Everybody is 30 in heaven.
在天堂，性对我来说是非法的。
Sex is illegal for me in heaven.
但是
But
这条消息传达给了哈罗德·奇比特，但奇比特无动于衷。
that message was communicated to Harold Chibbit, but Chibbit was unmoved.
当奇比特将对埃塞尔奶奶几乎无法控制的愤怒暂时搁置后，他开始推断唐纳德的身份。
After Chibbit set aside what seemed to be an almost uncontrollable amount of anger towards grandma Ethel, he began deducing Donald's identity.
然而，唐纳德试戴了很多顶帽子才最终选定了一顶。
Donald, however, tried on a lot of hats before he finally settled on a winner.
谁会说出这种屁话？
Who would say shit?
你放屁。
You shit.
但我的At
But my At
起初，唐纳德透露的信息暗示他曾是伦敦一家著名剧院的演员，于1753年去世，享年100岁。
first, Donald gave information that implied that he'd been an actor at a famous London theater who died in 1753 at the age of 100.
哇哦。
Woah.
作为证据，唐纳德提供了一堆据称属于他18世纪同行的演员名字。
As proof, Donald gave a bunch of names that supposedly belonged to his fellow eighteenth century actors.
这很简单。
That's easy.
我可以整天都这么干。
I can do that all day.
丹尼尔·潘丘。
Daniel Punchchew.
雷金纳德·阿克特莫斯特。
Reginald Act most.
格温多琳·阿克特利斯特。
Gwendolyn act least.
我能编出好多不同的名字，随便编都行。
I can do a lot of different there's so many names you make up.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且这些名字大多与哈罗德·奇伯特在档案中找到的演员名单有些接近，因为唐纳德确实提到了剧院名字。
And most of these names, they were kinda close to the actor rosters that Harold Chibbert found in the archives because Donald did name the theater.
没错。
Yeah.
英国名字有多少个？
How many British names are there?
相当多。
Quite a few.
嗯，比如，Tender和Robert man。
Well, like, Tender and Robert man.
我知道他的名字是Ribbit。
I know his name is Ribbit.
Wondergunt。
Wondergunt.
Pritchard Fairchild。
Pritchard Fairchild.
是啊。
Yeah.
这些都是名字。
This is all these are all names.
但至少有一个名字唐纳德完全说对了。
But there was at least one name that Donald absolutely nailed.
那个灵魂声称认识一位名叫理查德·斯蒂尔的演员兼剧作家，这个名字令人难以置信。
The spirit claimed to have known an actor and playwright with the incredible name of Richard Steele.
哦。
Oh.
现在，奇比特在历史书中发现理查德·斯蒂尔这个名字时惊呆了。
Now now Chibbit was floored when he found the name Richard Steele in the history books.
因为一个15岁的孩子怎么会知道一个已经去世两百年的演员的名字，尤其是像迪克·斯蒂尔这样古怪的名字？
Because how would a 15 year old know the name of an actor who'd been dead for two hundred years, especially a name as odd as Dick Steele?
但即便这是个巧合，迪克·斯蒂尔这个名字仍足以让哈罗德·奇博特继续研究下去。
But even if it was a coincidence, Dick Steele was still enough to keep Harold Chibot going.
在唐纳德花了数周时间不断变换身份后——他先是说自己是个演员，然后又说自己是个外星人，偶尔又会变成一个憎恨老太太的纵火狂。
Now after Donald spent weeks cycling through identities, he said he was an actor, then he said he was an alien, then he'd settle every once in a while into being a pyromaniac with a hatred for old ladies.
这倒是可以理解。
Which is understandable.
这很能引起共鸣。
It's relatable.
但到了三月份，他终于开始确定了一个永久身份。
But he finally began to settle on a permanent identity by the March.
他声称自己是一位15岁的法国王子，在法国大革命期间险些遇害。
He was claiming that he was a 15 year old French prince who had almost been murdered during the French revolution.
与那些不幸命丧断头台的亲戚不同，唐纳德声称自己逃过了大革命，但不久后却悲惨地淹死在英吉利海峡。
Unlike his unluckier relatives who had met their ends with the guillotine, Donald claimed that he had escaped the revolution but had tragically drowned in the English Channel not too long after.
他说自己8岁时被囚禁，15岁时溺水身亡。
That he had been imprisoned at eight but had drowned at 15.
这可是个重大声明。
Now this is a big claim.
为了证明这一点，唐纳德开始给奇博特留下详细描述18世纪末法国的信息。
So to prove it, Donald began leaving messages for Chibot that described late eighteenth century France in great detail.
法国。
France.
许多街道。
Many a street.
哦，法国。
Oh, France.
餐厅。
Restaurants.
法国。
France.
十八世纪有许多方式可以游览法国。
Many ways for which they for you to visit France in the eighteenth century.
我要说。
I will say this.
他描述十八世纪法国可比肯塔基吸血鬼强多了。
He was far better at describing eighteenth century France than the Kentucky vampire.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
当他描述18世纪的法国时，他描绘得非常真实，比如路上有石头，
When he described eighteenth century France, he was way it really was like, there's, like, stones on
太疯狂了，老兄。
Crazy, dude.
该死的道路，
Fucking roads,
而且，像是，
and, like,
人们正在吃东西，像是食物。
people are eating, like, food.
对啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
确实如此。
They were.
是啊。
Yeah.
确实如此。
They were.
他们是。
They were.
不。
No.
他当时讲得非常详细，你知道，比如描述宫廷仪式，还有场地看起来是什么样子的。
This was he was getting into pretty good detail, you know, like describing, you know, like, court rituals and, you know, what what the grounds looked like.
那是相当准确的。
It was fairly accurate.
不算完美，但已经很接近了。
Not perfect, but still pretty close.
嗯。
Mhmm.
如果不是因为英国电视剧《红蔷薇历险记》的存在，这本该是绝对令人难以置信的
And this would have been absolutely incredible if not for the fact that a British TV series called the adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel
哦。
Oh.
故事背景设定在18世纪的法国，涉及法国王室，这部剧的播出时间与这些说法的出现时间一致。
Set during eighteenth century France and involving French royalty, It was airing at the same time that these claims began.
雪莉·希钦斯声称她从未看过一集《红魔侠》的剧集。
Now Shirley Hitchings claimed that she never watched a single episode of the adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
这部剧共播出了18集。
It had an 18 episode run.
这实际上是克里斯托弗·李最早期的角色之一。
It was actually one of Christopher Lee's first roles.
他饰演了一个未署名的刽子手角色。
He had an uncredited role as an executioner.
哦。
Oh.
开头还不错。
Started off well.
他原本就是个刽子手，后来被雇来演这个角色。
He was actually an executioner, and then he got hired to do the role.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
我喜欢他给彼得·杰克逊讲述真实生活中杀人的那段故事。
I love him the the story of him describing killing a man in real life to Peter Jackson.
对。
Yeah.
而且
And
尽管《红魔侠》剧集中没有任何一集涉及溺亡的法国王子，但唐纳德体内法国皇室人格的出现恰好在该剧播完后不久。
while not a single episode of the Adventures of the Scarlet Pimpernel involved the drowned French prince, the emergence of the French royalty personality in Donald emerged right after this show finished airing.
还必须指出的是，该剧播出时间与唐纳德首次提出名人探访请求的时间完全吻合。
It must also be said that the airing of the show coincided with Donald's first celebrity request.
这个模式后来反复出现——唐纳德留言要求英俊的年轻演员马略斯·戈尔林（红魔侠扮演者）亲自来希钦家做客，就为了打个招呼。
In what would be a recurring theme, Donald left a message demanding that the Scarlet Pimpernel himself, a handsome young actor named Marius Goring, come visit the Hitching home just to say hi.
很难找到他。
It's hard to get him.
是啊。
Yeah.
很难找到任何人。
It's hard to get anybody.
就像，你怎么
Like, how do you
你怎么做到的
how do you get
让一个年轻的名人，就像，嘿
a celebrity to a young celebrity who's like, hey.
巴特西有个鬼魂想见你。
There's a ghost out in Battersea that wants to see you.
好吧，如果你还提出要把女儿卖给他。是的。
Well, if you also offer to sell him your daughter Yeah.
我觉得很多怪人都会突然冒出来。
I think a lot of the weird guys will come out of the the woodwork.
这就是雪莉在这里押注的原因。
That's what Shirley was banking on here.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
也许吧。
Maybe.
对。
Yeah.
希望如此。
Hopefully.
这看起来就像是个小女孩想见她的暗恋对象。
It seems like it's just like a little girl who wants to meet her crush.
我是说，这确实是真的。
I mean, this is it's true.
是啊。
Yeah.
但有趣的是信息传递的方式与信息内容本身之间的对比。
But it's interesting in the way that the message was delivered versus what the message is.
我一直绕不开的是他们不断谈论这些信息是如何被发现的，两者都非常怪异——像是写在奇怪的纸上，用那种特殊方式处理，还有那种冗长的敲击式通讯方式。
That's kind of what I keep coming around is they keep talking about how the messages were found and they were both highly strange, like written in weird, like, no papers and doing the kind of stuff, but also in this knocking, like, weird way they do it in the long form knocking communication that they did.
这真的很有趣。
That it's just it's it's just interesting.
我觉得鬼魂应该也会想见普通人，而不仅仅是名人。
I feel like the ghost would ask to see normal people as well as celebrities.
但他也会想见记者。
But he also to see reporters.
他确实这么做了。
He did.
但对我来说那不算普通人
But that's not a normal person to me.
那些有名有姓、有身份证明之类的人
Those people who are, like, out in the world with their names and papers and stuff like that.
我同意你的看法
I'm agree with you.
这正是为什么很容易说这个故事不真实的原因之一
It is it is one of those things of why it's very easy to say the story is not true.
嗯
Mhmm.
是啊
Yeah.
但问题是，如果仅用这一点来否定整个事件，就会忽略其他所有发生的事
But it does also but the thing is is to use that as the only debunking method is to ignore everything else that happened.
没错
Yeah.
事情变得越来越复杂了。
It just keeps getting thicker.
是啊。
Yeah.
还有，记得我们小时候，感觉就像奶奶那个年代。
Also, you remember when we were younger, feel like grandma.
没错。
Yeah.
但我们会把她从那种状态中解救出来。
But we're gonna we're gonna dig her out of that.
你不觉得我们小时候，流行文化中有更多《红花侠》的元素吗？
Do you not feel like when you were younger, there was a lot more Scarlet Pimpernel in pop culture.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
当然。
Of course.
它在五十年代非常流行，然后经历了一次又一次的改版，我记得它还被改编成了音乐剧。
It was huge in the fifties, and then it It had, like, another revamp and then another revamp, and then it I remember it being a musical.
嗯。
Mhmm.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后它就逐渐消失了。
And then it just kinda went away.
我觉得它变得太老套了，我们不再关心那些情怀和言论自由了。
I think it just became too hokey, and we stopped caring about the sentiments and free speech.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
但从技术上讲，蝙蝠侠就是从那时诞生的。
But also then technically, like, Batman came from that.
之后的情况更好了。
It was after the is better.
对。
Yeah.
法国佬在越南战争中退缩撤军后，我们不得不接手，真他妈一群废物。
After the French bitched out and left the Vietnam War, and we had to take over, Fucking losers.
我他妈就是个英雄。
I'm like a fucking hero.
终于听到一个真正男人的观点了。
Finally, a real goddamn man's opinion.
我不打算对此发表评论
I'm not gonna comment on
因为
that because
你刚才可是打开了一个大麻烦的潘多拉魔盒
that was a big can of worms you just opened there.
是啊
Yeah.
我
I'm
就直接跳过
just gonna move right
这个话题吧
past it.
没错
Yeah.
给我们来份鲍比三明治，我超爱那个。
Give us the Bobbie sandwich, and I love that.
感谢越南的恩赐。
Thank god for Vietnam.
越南战争带给我的唯一收获就是越南春卷。
The one thing the Vietnam conflict brought me was summer rolls.
我依然认为《现代启示录》里法国殖民者的那段戏应该保留在电影里。
And I will still argue that the scene with the French colonists in Apocalypse Now should have been left in the movie.
那段戏很棒。
It was awesome.
我很喜欢那段戏，但它又长又无聊。
I love the scene, but it was it was long and boring.
这个确实很有争议。
It's very well, debatable.
很长很无聊但也很吸引人。
It's long and fascinating and boring.
是的。
Yes.
上下文。
Context.
飞
Fly
从你的坟墓里。
from your grave.
在唐纳德的名人探访请求被拒绝后，他发表了一份声明，这将使哈罗德·奇维特陷入长达数年的痴迷调查漩涡。
Now after Donald's request for a celebrity visit was denied, he made a statement that would send Harold Chivet down an obsessive investigative rabbit hole that would go on for years on end.
在唐纳德身份问题上经历数周的错误开端后，这个骚灵终于固定了一个身份，并透露他的真名是路易。
After weeks of false starts when it came to Donald's identity, the poltergeist finally stuck to one and communicated that his real name was Louis.
他确实是法国的王储
He was indeed a crown prince of France
哦，没错。
Oh, yeah.
他确实是在革命中被杀害的。
And he had indeed been killed as a result of the revolution.
奇比特抓住这个说法大做文章，因为这条信息强烈暗示唐纳德实际上是路易王子的灵魂，即路易十六世国王的儿子路易十七世。
Now Chibbit took this statement and ran with it because this message heavily implied that Donald was actually the spirit of Prince Louis, aka Louis the seventeenth, son of King Louis the sixteenth.
路易国王当然是在1793年法国大革命期间被处决的。
King Louis, of course, had been executed during the French Revolution in 1793.
根据历史记载，路易王子不久后也去世了。
And according to historical record, prince Louis died not too long after.
这对哈罗德·奇比特来说本会是个重大发现，因为在整个19世纪，骗子和疯子们都很流行声称自己其实是路易十六世国王失散多年的儿子路易王子。
Now this would have been a massive discovery for Harold Chibbit because throughout the nineteenth century, it was popular amongst scammers and crazy people to make claims that they were actually prince Louis, the long lost son of king Louis the sixteenth.
通常骗子们会编造一些关于如何逃离法国大革命的悲惨故事，有时甚至还会拿出文件来佐证。
Usually, scammers would have some sort of harrowing tale to tell as far as how they had escaped the French Revolution, and they would sometimes even have documentation to back it up.
因此路易王子的命运成为不少于500本书的题材，这在接下来的几个世纪里都是如此。
Prince Louis' fate was therefore the subject of no less than 500 books That's just so in the coming centuries.
这太神奇了。
It's so amazing.
我压根不知道这个愚蠢的阴谋论，它居然这么有名。
I didn't even I had no fucking idea about this stupid conspiracy theory, and it was that big.
完全不知道。
No clue.
呃，这不是阴谋论。
Well, it's not a conspiracy.
只是一个人的说法而已。
It's just one guy.
这有点像那个谁来着？
Well, it's kinda like what's his name?
就是那个...那个俄罗斯家族的公主叫什么来着？
What was the the the daughter from the the Russian family?
对。
Yeah.
我是说没错。
Mean yeah.
我是说，事情确实就是这样的。
Mean, that's really what it's like.
我的意思是，就这个小型产业而言，可以把它想象成肯尼迪遇刺阴谋论那样。
I mean, as far as the cottage industry goes, it's think of it like the JFK conspiracy.
你知道，围绕它已经形成了一个完整的产业。
You know, there's just a whole industry around it.
围绕路易王子事件也曾有过一个完整的产业链。
There was a whole industry around the prince Louis story.
而这个骗局正是二十世纪层出不穷的安娜斯塔西娅公主宣称事件的前身。
And this scam was the antecedent to the princess Anastasia claims that were made throughout the twentieth century Yeah.
当时有女性站出来声称自己是罗曼诺夫王朝最后的幸存者，在俄国革命导致的地下室集体处决中奇迹生还。
In which women came forward to say that they were the last surviving member of the Romanov dynasty and had somehow survived the mass basement execution that came as a result of the Russian revolution.
这真是个有趣的现象，你知道，人民发动革命后，
It's this interesting thing in which, you know, the the people have revolution.
他们杀害了许多皇室子女，然后就会有人站出来说：不，我活下来了，我就是那个皇室成员。
They kill a bunch of royal children, and then somebody comes forth to say like, no, I survived, and I am that royal.
是啊。
Yeah.
因为他们要么希望他们能拿到钱。
Because they'll either they hope that they'll get money.
对。
Yeah.
不。
No.
不。
No.
这这其实就是为了钱、名声，想通过不劳而获跻身贵族阶层。
It it is about it's about money, fame, getting into the, you know, aristocracy, by actually doing nothing.
我觉得这种事至少得成功过一次吧。
I feel like it has to have worked at least once.
说实话，贵族们本来也是不劳而获就能跻身其中的。
I mean, honestly, aristocracies the aristocrats get in there doing nothing anyway.
靠撒谎混进去又有什么不同？
What's different if you lie to get in there?
确实。
True.
阿门，兄弟。
Amen, brother.
至于路易王子，真实的故事确实令人痛心。
Now as far as prince Louis went, the real story is indeed harrowing.
路易十六于1793年1月被送上断头台。
King Louis the sixteenth was guillotined in January 1793.
Raggedbull。
Raggedbull.
是的。
Yeah.
但他的妻子玛丽·安托瓦内特和儿子路易王子被革命者隔离囚禁，等待命运裁决。
But his wife, Marie Antoinette, and his son, prince Louis, were separated and imprisoned by revolutionaries until their fates were decided.
我们正身处真实的历史中。
And we're in real history.
历史。
History.
这才是真正的路易王子。
This is real prince Louis.
是啊。
Yeah.
当时路易王子年仅八岁，却被关在阴暗潮湿的牢房里，食不果腹，还遭受狱卒的肉体虐待。
Now prince Louis was just eight years old when all this happened, but he was nevertheless locked in a dark damp cell where he was fed infrequently and his jailers physically abused him.
嘿。
Hey.
那个年纪的孩子能有个自己的房间都很难得。
It's hard for a kid that age to get his own room.
确实。
Yeah.
这确实是，而且，殴打一个小王子能有多少乐趣呢？
It's truly and also, how much fun would it be to beat up a little prince?
是啊。
Yeah.
这就是问题所在。
That's the problem.
太有趣了。
It's too much fun.
最终，这种可怕的待遇让革命者成功说服了路易王子，让他相信自己在被囚禁前曾遭到母亲和姐姐的性侵。
Eventually, the terrible treatment enabled the revolutionaries to convince prince Louis that his mother and sister had sexually molested him prior to his imprisonment.
这进一步证明了王室成员的堕落。
This is more proof of the decadent royals.
这项虚假的性侵指控被用作玛丽·安托瓦内特公审的证据，革命者设立这场审判本质上就是为了获得砍下她头颅的合法理由。
This false accusation of sexual abuse was used as evidence in Marie Antoinette's show trial, the one that the revolutionary set up for in order to basically give them license to cut off her head.
当然，审判最终以死刑告终，玛丽·安托瓦内特于1793年10月被送上断头台处决。
And, of course, the trial ended in a death sentence, and Marie Antoinette was executed by guillotine in October 1793.
有意思。
Interesting.
我完全不知道这些事。
I had no idea any of that.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
不。
No.
不。
No.
那个性虐待的指控，是'这个女人必须死'的重要依据。
The the sexual abuse thing, that was a a really big part of, like, this woman needs to die.
看看她有多么堕落。
Like, look at look at how decadent she was.
看看她有多么恶劣。
Look at how awful she was.
你知道吗？
You know?
因为他们需要一些个人层面的东西。
It's because they needed some personal.
额外的。
Extra.
他们需要一些额外的。
They needed some extra.
是的。
Yeah.
他们需要表明，仅仅展示我们在挨饿而他们在凡尔赛宫享乐还不够。
They needed to show that, like, it wasn't enough to just show that, you know, we're starving while, you know, they're in their palace in Versailles.
他们还需要展示出，比如
You also need they also needed to show, like
他们必须很邪恶。
They gotta be evil.
是的。
Yeah.
他们必须
They have to
也要显得邪恶。
be evil too.
他们不能只是脱离群众。
They can't just be, out of touch.
没错。
Yeah.
你必须站在历史的错误一边。
You gotta have to be out of be on the wrong side of history.
对。
Yeah.
但这个故事最疯狂的部分在于，革命者们就这样让年幼的路易王子在监狱里自生自灭。
But the crazy part of this story is that the revolutionaries simply left young prince Louis to rot in jail.
在大约一年半的时间里，这位王子变得面目全非。
Over the course of about a year and a half, the prince became unrecognizable.
他浑身长满疮疖，最终在10岁时因肺结核死于狱中。
He was covered in sores, and he eventually died from tuberculosis in prison at the age of 10.
按照中世纪欧洲的传统，一位医生将路易王子的心脏取出，并用酒浸泡保存后秘密带出监狱。
As was medieval European tradition, a physician cut out prince Louis' heart and secretly smuggled it out of prison preserved in wine.
哇。
Woah.
很法国。
Very French.
哇。
Woah.
是啊。
Yeah.
这
The
据报道，尸体的其余部分被丢弃在法国大革命期间为埋葬成千上万被处决者而挖掘的众多万人坑之一。
rest of the body was reportedly dumped in one of the many mass graves that have been dug to bury the thousands of people who were executed during the French Revolution.
据估计，法国大革命期间约有17,000人被送上断头台。
It's estimated that about 17,000 people were guillotine during the French Revolution.
太震撼了。
That's awesome.
数量真不少
That's a lot
的血。
of blood.
简直是血流成河。
It's so much blood.
天啊。
Oh my god.
那些断头台。
The headrooms.
我等不及要做这件事了。
I can't wait till we do this.
是啊。
Yeah.
他们肯定生病了。
They must have got sick.
没错。
Yeah.
但没人喜欢这样。
But no one liked it.
实际上，这是个问题。
Actually, it was a problem.
大量尸体堆积成山，从健康角度来说是个大问题。
It was a mat all the the massive amount of bodies, it was a huge problem health wise.
但那位医生一直保存着路易亲王的心脏，直到1815年。
But the now the physician held on to the heart of prince Louis until 1815.
那一年法国君主制复辟，拿破仑那些事。
That was the year the French monarchy was restored, Napoleon and all that.
医生试图将心脏交给路易王子的叔叔，路易十八国王。
The physician attempted to give the heart to prince Louis' uncle, king Louis the eighteenth.
但新国王拒绝接受这份阴森的礼物。
But the new king declined to accept the ghoulish gift.
我会留着它。
I'll keep it.
是啊。
Yeah.
你知道吗？
You know what?
你已经拥有过了。
You've already had it.
你已经很接近它了。
You've already been you're close to it.
你知道吗？
You know?
我不想掺和进去。
I don't wanna get in there.
我不想打乱它的计划。
I don't wanna change its schedule.
最终，这颗心脏几经流转于欧洲各国皇室之手，最后被安葬在法国皇室的陵墓中。
Well, instead, the heart passed through the hands of various European royals until it was finally laid to rest in a necropolis reserved for French royalty.
哦，我还以为是迪克·切尼的胸腔呢。
Oh, I thought it was Dick Cheney's chest.
是啊，宝贝。
Yeah, baby.
不幸的是，你听说了那个消息吗？
Unfortunately, did you hear the news?
什么？
What?
迪克·切尼有个大家伙。
Dick Cheney's got a big old hog.
哦，他当然有。
Oh, of course he does.
他就是个混蛋。
He's a piece of shit.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
他有着那种程度的自信，没错。
He's got so that amount of confidence Yeah.
那就是大屌自信的表现。
That's a beds that's big dick confidence.
好大的家伙。
Big old hog.
是啊。
Yeah.
他们在尸检时发现的。
They found that on the autopsy.
就像，我甚至够不到他的胸口。
It's like, I I can't even get to his chest.
这巨大的家伙，把它弄出来。
This giant cox Get this out of it.
来人啊。
Someone.
叫个人来。
Get someone.
从这玩意儿里出来。
Out of the cock.
老实说，我们能把这东西别到他背后去吗？
Honestly, can we pin this back behind him?
我们能把这玩意儿塞他屁股里吗？
Can we can we shove this up his ass?
幸运的是，我的老二在拥有那个法国小男孩心脏的几年里缩了三英寸。
Fortunately, my cock, it shrunk three inches the few years I had the heart of that little French boy.
不行。
No.
我不会把剩下的部分拽出来。
I won't tug the rest of it out.
好吧，
Well,
这颗心脏一直保存在墓地中，直到199年被取出进行DNA检测。
the heart stayed in the necropolis until 1999 when it was removed and DNA tested.
最终，检测证明这颗心脏确实属于路易王子。
At long last, the test proved that the heart did indeed belong to prince Louis.
哇。
Wow.
这颗心脏最终与他父母玛丽·安托瓦内特和路易十六的遗体合葬在了一起。
And it was eventually laid to rest with the bodies of, his parents, Marie Antoinette and, king Louis the sixteenth.
哦，对他来说挺好的。
Oh, good for him.
是啊。
Yeah.
当初对心脏进行DNA检测的部分原因是，早在1795年路易王子去世时，就有谣言立即流传开来，说他越狱逃走了，而使用的是一具其他孩子的尸体作为替代。
Now part of the reason why the heart had been DNA tested was because even back when prince Louis died in 1795, rumors began immediately circulating that he had escaped prison and that the dead body of another child had been used in his place.
结果，在接下来的几十年里，数十名冒名顶替者出现在欧洲各个贵族家庭中。
As a result, dozens of impostors showed up at various European noble households over the following decades.
其中一位德国钟表匠甚至写了回忆录，内容极具说服力，以至于他的死亡证明和墓碑上都标明他是1845年去世的路易十七。
One, a German clockmaker, even wrote memoirs that were so convincing that his death certificate and gravestone identified him as Louis the seventeenth when he died in 1845.
然而，这位钟表匠只是数十名自称是所谓'失踪王太子'的其中一人，这些人希望跻身欧洲王室行列。
That clockmaker, however, was just one of dozens of men who claimed to be the so called lost dauphin, men who hoped to ascend the ranks of European royalty.
但这一切都说明，如果唐纳德这个骚灵真的是路易王子——法国那位失踪已久的幼年国王，那么哈罗德·奇比特确实发现了一个非常重大的故事。
But that's all to say that if Donald the poltergeist was indeed prince Louis, the long lost child king of France, then Harold Chibbit was on to a very big story indeed.
而事实并非如此。
And it would not be.
我，我，你知道，唯一的问题就是这是哈里·奇比特的主要症结所在，事实上我们现在才真正看出他知识的陈旧性，他现在认为这是一个会做特定事情的特定幽灵，非常容易归类。
I I you know, the only problem is is this is Harry Chibbit's main issue, is the fact that this is now where we really see the antiquity of his knowledge, where he has this idea now that it's a very specific ghost that does very specific things, and it's very easily categorical.
就像，可以，你可以把所有东西都拼凑起来。
Like, catag like, you can put it all together.
这很简单。
It's easy.
现在我需要查明这个幽灵的历史，我们会讲述它的故事，这将成为一个完整的事件。
Now I need to figure out the history of this ghost, and we'll tell its story, and it'll be a whole thing.
而它会展示——实际上会证明，在它现象般的恶作剧式呈现中，这将让他难堪。是的。
And it's gonna show it's actually gonna prove that in its trickster like presentation of the phenomena, it's going to embarrass him Yes.
寻找这些信息本质上会，我甚至可以说，浪费他生命中大部分时间，那些他试图将这个幽灵与路易王子联系起来的岁月。
Looking for this information and essentially going to, I I might even say, waste most of the years of his life that he spent trying to connect prince Louis to this ghost.
这才是真正的困扰。
That's a true haunting.
确实如此。
It is.
我认为最诡异的故事莫过于哈里·吉贝特毫无理由地研究路易王子的事迹。
I think that that is the that is the spookiest story of all is Harry Gibbett reading about prince Louis for no fucking reason.
年复一年。
For years.
年复一年。
For years.
年复一年。
For years.
嗯，我认为他如此执着于此是因为他想要证据。
Well, I think the reason why he focused on this so much is because he wanted proof.
没错。
Yes.
他想着如果那个鬼魂能说出雪莉根本不可能知道的事情...是的。
And he thought that if if the ghost could somehow say something that Shirley had no way of knowing Yes.
如果他能将这两者联系起来，他就能说，看啊看啊，这就是证明这是个骚灵的证据。
And if he could connect that, then he could say, look look, here's the proof that this is a poltergeist.
你懂吗？
You know?
但因为他们不知道如何证明这种现象。
But so because they he has no way of knowing how to prove this phenomenon.
我的意思是，他正通过福特方法收集所有能获取的信息，同时他也想在超自然领域留下自己的印记，为此竭尽全力。
I mean, he's he is collecting all of the information that he can through the Fortean method, but he is also looking to make his mark in the world of the paranormal, and he's trying as hard as he possibly can.
可能是好几个鬼魂。
Could be several ghosts.
哦，非常有可能。
Oh, very much.
这是整件事另一个诡异的解释。
That's another that's another weird explanation of this whole thing.
尽管唐纳德据称直接以路易王子的身份与哈罗德·奇佩特交流，但必须重申63号威克利夫街的房子仍然闹鬼严重，而且唐纳德的古怪行为绝不仅限于传递信息。
Now even though Donald was supposedly communicating directly with Harold Chippett as prince Louis, it must be repeated that the house at Number 63 Wycliffe was still extremely haunted, and Donald's antics were by no means limited to messages.
据说家具每晚都会自己翻倒。
It said that furniture upended itself every night.
厨房里的物品会莫名消失或飞过空中，而水龙头的声响和敲击声变得如此常见，以至于每位家庭成员每天早上都会被特定的声音问候。
Objects from the kitchen would go missing or they'd fly through the air, and the taps and the knocks became so routine that each family member was greeted with a specific noise each morning.
我的可以是放屁声吗？
Can mine be a fart?
当然可以。
Sure.
那就是我的专属声音。
That's my noise.
再见。
See you.
那就是我的专属声音。
That's my noise.
但奶奶的是什么声音呢？
But what's grandma?
涂鸦。
Doodle.
涂鸦。
Doodle.
涂鸦。
Doodle.
快点。
Come on.
光是头几个月就发生了太多事件，更不用说接下来的十二年了，要全部讲完得花上好几个小时。
There were so many incidents that occurred in even just the first few months, never mind the following twelve years, that it would take us hours upon hours to cover them all.
所以我强烈推荐《伦敦的吵闹鬼王子》这本书，如果你想了解完整故事的话。
So I would very much recommend the book, The Poltergeist Prince of London, if you want this full story.
内容确实很精彩，但天啊，事件也太多了。
It's it is fascinating, but fuck, there's so many incidents.
对我来说，真正体现这情况诡异之处的正是事件的数量之多。
It's really to me, it's the volume that speaks to the weirdness of the situation.
正因如此，如果你读了这本书，让自己沉浸在这些事件的数量中，你可能会开始明白为什么我们会觉得房子里发生了些奇怪的事情。
That's why, like, if you read the book and allow yourself to be kind of enveloped in the amount of incidents that happens, you might start to why see why we're like, there was something strange happening inside of the house.
事情就是这样发生的。
That's what happens.
当你让鬼魂写作时，它会拖得很长。
It's so long when you let the ghost write.
它除了时间一无所有。
It's got nothing but time.
可不是嘛，我深有体会。
I mean, tell me about it.
你得打断这些家伙。
You gotta cut these guys off.
找个会编辑的鬼魂来。
Get the ghost that edit it.
那个会编辑的鬼魂。
The ghost that edits.
严格来说，这个我知道。
Technically, that one I know.
这个鬼魂需要一个代笔鬼。
The ghost needs a ghost writer.
哇哦。
Woah.
实际上知道怎么，你懂的，有点刻薄的那种。
That actually knows how to, you know, kinda mean.
因为大家都知道每个剧本都要经过九道手。
Because everybody knows every script passes through like nine hands.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
但当你看看闹鬼唐纳德的整体目标时，似乎他最大的关注点之一就是阻止雪莉保住工作。
But when you look at Donald the Poltergeist's overall goals, it seems like one of his biggest focuses was keeping Shirley from holding a job.
他想让雪莉待在家里，或者另一种可能的解释是雪莉自己想待在家里。
He wanted Shirley at home or quite possibly the other, explanation is that Shirley wanted to be at home.
你看，在雪莉因为唐纳德的敲击声丢了第二份工作后——如果你还记得那敲击声如影随形跟着她——就在雪莉即将开始第三份工作的前一晚，唐纳德大发脾气。
See, after Shirley lost a second job to Donald's tapping, because if you'll remember that tapping followed her everywhere, Donald threw a tantrum the night before Shirley was about to start a third job.
据报道，在雪莉准备去银行开始新工作的前一晚，唐纳德藏起了她的新工作服。
Reportedly, Donald hid Shirley's new work clothes the night before she was to start a new job at a bank.
然后他打翻了一个装满垃圾的投币桶，这非常诡异。
Then he tipped a slot bucket full of garbage, It's very weird.
直接倒进了雪莉的内衣里。
Directly into Shirley's underwear.
是啊。
Yeah.
那个灵体接着用铅在墙上画黑色十字架，因为你知道，那时候铅很常见。
The spirit then drew black crosses on the wall using lead because, you know, lead was Around.
那时候很常见。
Around at that point.
我想他们用它来清洁炉子之类的东西。
I think they used it to clean their stove or something.
刷牙。
Brush your teeth.
福克斯，真的吗？
Foxy, really?
在汤的季节里？
In seasons of soup?
是啊。
Yeah.
真的很不错。
Really nice.
对啊。
Yeah.
把我的假阳具裹在里面。
Cover my dildos in it.
嗯。
Yeah.
关于 Bayt 播客
Bayt 提供中文+原文双语音频和字幕，帮助你打破语言障碍，轻松听懂全球优质播客。