放弃并不总是坏事。如何判断何时该放手

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嘿，我是Mariel。除了Life Kit之外，找到你下一个最喜欢的播客有点难。但听完我们每周三期的节目后，如果你想换换口味，可以看看NPR的播客俱乐部通讯。注册后，每周你都会收到由那些热爱此道的人精心挑选的新鲜播客推荐。

Hey. It's Mariel. It's kinda hard to find your next favorite podcast besides Life Kit, of course. But after you're done listening to our three episodes a week, if you wanna switch it up, you can check out NPR's pod club newsletter. Sign up and you'll get fresh podcast recommendations every week handpicked by the people that live for this stuff.

你可以通过今天节目说明中的链接或访问npr.org/podclub免费订阅。你正在收听的是NPR的Life Kit。嘿，我是Marielle。如果你听过这些谚语，请举手。

You can subscribe for free using the link in today's show notes or at npr.org/podclub. You're listening to Life Kit from NPR. Hey. It's Marielle. Raise your hand if you've heard one of these sayings.

不要做放弃者。赢家永不放弃，放弃者永不成功。如果一开始你没有成功，那就再试一次。

Don't be a quitter. Winners never quit, and quitters never win. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

关于放弃的这些说法让它看起来像是懦弱的表现。

There's all this stuff around quitting that makes it seem cowardly.

这是Annie Duke，一位认知心理学家、决策策略师和前职业扑克玩家。她写了一本名为《放弃》的书，她说我们倾向于将放弃视为失败。

This is Annie Duke, a cognitive psychologist, a decision strategist, and a former professional poker player. She wrote a book called Quit, and she says we tend to think about quitting as a failure.

尽管这不是失败，如果你在应该离开的情况下选择放弃，那是一种成功。

Even though it's not failure, if you're doing it in a situation where you ought to be walking away, that's a success.

因为你停止了原地打转或浪费时间，可以去从事那些你会更喜欢或为生活带来更多价值的事情。但你怎么知道什么时候是那种情况，什么时候该离开？或者像Angela Duckworth说的，何时坚持，何时放弃。Angela是宾夕法尼亚大学的心理学家。她开创了关于毅力的学术研究，她将毅力定义为激情和坚持的结合，使人们能够实现长期目标。

Because you've stopped spinning your wheels or wasting your time, and you get to go do other things that you'll enjoy more or that bring more value to your life. But how do you know when it's one of those situations, when it is time to walk away? Or as Angela Duckworth puts it, when to grit and when to quit. Angela is a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. She pioneered academic research on grit, which she defines as a mix of passion and perseverance that allows people to achieve their long term goals.

有时候放弃确实更好。并不是100%的情况下我们都应该坚持，对吧？

It has to be that sometimes it is better to quit. It's not that a 100% of the time we should persist. Right?

Angela认识一位登山者，他曾攀登过世界上一些最高的山峰。

Angela knows a mountain climber who has scaled some of the highest peaks in the world.

他和其他像他这样的人曾说过，作为一名登山者，最重要的事情之一就是知道在登顶之前何时应该折返。

And one of the things that he and other people like him have said is that one of the most important things to know as a mountaineer is when you should turn back from the summit before you've reached it.

在本期《生活工具箱》节目中，我们将探讨如何判断何时该放弃某件事。这可能是一条职业道路、对某个目标的追求、一段关系，或是许多其他事情。我们将为您提供评估目标的工具，了解它们消耗了什么，以及是否值得坚持。

On this episode of Life Kit, how to know when to quit something. That could be a career path, your pursuit of a particular goal, a relationship. It could be lots of things. We're gonna give you the tools to evaluate your goals and figure out what they're costing you and whether it's worth persisting.

本消息来自嘉信理财及其原创播客《选择学》。《选择学》是一档探讨人们决策背后的心理学和经济学的节目。下载最新一期并订阅，请访问schwab.com/podcast。本消息来自Apple Card。您知道吗？Apple Card旨在通过智能支付建议帮助您更快还清余额。

This message comes from Charles Schwab with their original podcast, Choiceology. Choiceology is a show about the psychology and economics behind people's decisions. Download the latest episode and subscribe at schwab.com/podcast. This message comes from Apple Card. Did you know Apple Card is designed to help you pay off your balance faster with smart payment suggestions?

而且因为费用对您无益，Apple Card没有任何费用。这是一张与众不同的信用卡。需信用批准，Apple Card由高盛银行美国盐湖城分行发行。根据信用状况，可变年利率范围为18.24%至28.49%。利率截至2025年7月1日。

And because fees don't help you, Apple Card doesn't have any. It's a credit card unlike any other. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City branch. Variable APRs range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on creditworthiness. Rates as of 07/01/2025.

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Terms and more at applecard.com.

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Copyright 2025 US Bank. This message comes from Capital One with the Capital One saver card. Earn unlimited 3% cash back on dining and entertainment. Capital One, what's in your wallet? Terms apply.

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Details at capital1.com.

本消息来自LinkedIn广告。B2B营销最困难的部分之一就是触达正确的受众。这就是为什么您需要LinkedIn广告。您可以按职位、公司、角色、资历和技能定位您的买家，所有您需要触达的专业人士都在一个平台上。要在下一次广告活动中获得100美元信用额度亲自尝试，请访问linkedin.com/results。

This message comes from LinkedIn ads. One of the hardest parts about b to b marketing is reaching the right audience. That's why you need LinkedIn ads. You can target your buyers by job title, company, role, seniority, and skills, all the professionals you need to reach in one place. To get a 100 credit on your next campaign so you can try it yourself, just go to linkedin.com/results.

即linkedin.com/results。条款和条件仅适用于LinkedIn广告。

That's linkedin.com/results. Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.

我们在录音棚时，认知心理学家安妮·杜克向我提了个问题。欢迎大家一起思考。

When we were in the studio, Annie Duke, the cognitive psychologist, posed a question to me. Feel free to play along here.

想象一下...呃...一个乐队...告诉我你喜欢的乐队名字。

I want you to imagine I what what's a band tell me a band that you like.

我回答是新灵魂乐歌手奥利维亚·迪恩。于是安妮说，想象奥利维亚要来城里开演唱会，在中央公园办露天演出。我想去吗？当然想。

I said Olivia Dean, the neo soul singer. So Annie tells me, imagine Olivia Dean is coming to town. She's doing an outdoor concert in Central Park. Do I wanna go? Yeah.

但到了演出当天，我还没买到票，结果遇上极端天气。

But then the day of the concert, I actually don't have a ticket yet, and there's a freak weather event.

又是雨夹雪又是刺骨寒风，零下九度冻死人。而且没有遮棚，演出坚持在户外进行。

And it's like sleeting, inhaling, icy rain, freezing cold. It's, like, 15 degrees out. It's so cold. And there's no cover like, they're not moving inside. It's still gonna be outside.

然后我打电话给你：'嘿，知道你喜欢奥利维亚。我买了票但天气太糟不想去，这张免费票你要吗？'

And I call you up, and I'm like, hey. I know you like Olivia Dean. I bought a ticket to go to this concert. I don't wanna go because of the weather, but do you want my free ticket?

不要。接着她问：同样情况，奥利维亚来开露天演唱会，但这次我花500美元买了票。你还这么确定不去吗？

No. No. Now she says, imagine, same situation. Olivia Dean is coming to town and doing an outdoor concert, but I did buy a ticket, and it cost me $500. Are you still so sure that you're not going?

可能...会多考虑下。大概会想'要不穿个雪地服去？'

No. I'd probably consider it more. Right. I'd probably be like, oh, well, I could wear, like, a snowsuit, I guess.

是啊，因为不想浪费500美元。但钱已经花出去了。

Yeah. Because you don't wanna waste the $500. Right. But you already spent it.

关键在于：免费票时我判断不值得受冻所以不去。而第二种情况，已经花500美元本不该影响决定——但人脑就是这么有趣。这其实是经济学中的'沉没成本谬误'：因为已投入大量金钱/时间/精力就坚持做某事。就像社交媒体上那个名言：如果在错误的地方挖洞，继续深挖只会错得更深。

The point is, I said I didn't wanna go to the concert when it was free because I'd made the calculation that it wasn't worth the misery of standing in that weather. In the second scenario, the fact that I'd already spent $500 shouldn't have changed that, but our brains are funny that way. By the way, this is a concept known in economics as the sunk cost fallacy. The fallacy is thinking you should stick with something just because you've already put a lot of money or time or effort into it. Stated another way, and I'm pretty sure I saw this on a quote card on social media, if you dig a hole in the wrong place, digging deeper is not gonna help.

那么我们如何知道是否在正确的地方挖掘？第一个要点是，你认真考虑放弃这件事本身就是一个信号。安妮与许多人谈论过放弃的话题，她很少遇到成年人说自己过早放弃了某件事。通常，他们会说自己坚持某事或某人远超过那个情境的有效期。

So how do we know if we're digging in the right place? Takeaway one, the fact that you're seriously thinking about quitting is a sign in itself. Annie has talked to a lot of people about quitting, and she hasn't met many adults who say they quit something too soon. Usually, they say they stuck around with something or someone far past that situation's expiration date.

成年人总觉得自己放弃得太晚，这意味着你确实放弃得太迟了。

Adults always feel like they quit too late, and what that means is that you're quitting too late.

再次强调，我们的文化将放弃定义为失败，这意味着我们对它存在偏见。所以安妮说，当放弃的念头出现在你的脑海中，尤其是反复出现时，你应该认真对待这个想法并设定一个截止日期。假设你的目标是生第二个孩子。你在受孕方面遇到困难，因此尝试了体外受精（IVF），已经进行了几个周期。

Again, our culture defines quitting as a failure, which means we're biased against it. So Annie says when the thought of quitting comes into your mind, especially repeatedly, you should take that thought seriously and set a deadline. Let's say your goal is to have a second child. You've had trouble conceiving, so you tried IVF, in vitro fertilization. You've gone through several rounds.

你的身体疼痛。你在心理和情感上精疲力尽，甚至疲惫到无法好好陪伴现有的孩子。你不知道是否应该继续。她说，从设定截止日期开始。

Your body hurts. You're mentally and emotionally exhausted, and you're too tired to spend quality time with the kid you have. You don't know if you should keep going. She says start with that deadline.

可以是：我愿意再尝试一年。可以是：我愿意再投入这么多钱。可以是：我愿意再尝试两到三个周期。但你必须有一个截止日期，并且必须确定那个截止日期对你来说是什么。

It could be, I'm okay trying for another year. It could be, I'm okay investing this much more money in this. It could be, I'm okay giving it two more cycles or three more cycles. But you you have to have a deadline, and you have to figure out what that deadline is for you.

截止日期给你时间制定计划，并在需要时构建退出路径。例如，如果你想辞职但经济上不允许，你可以在当前职位上开始寻找其他工作或职业。截止日期还让你有机会问自己一些重要问题。这就是第二个要点：审视你的目标。把它放在显微镜下。

A deadline gives you time to come up with a plan and build an off ramp if you need it. For instance, if you wanna quit your job but can't afford to, you can start pursuing other work or other careers while you're in your current position. A deadline also gives you a chance to ask yourself some important questions. And that's takeaway two, interrogate your goal. Put it under the microscope.

其中一个你想问自己的问题是：为什么我想要这个东西？科林·洛克是“For the First”的创始人，这是一个为第一代专业人士设立的社交俱乐部。他还在CareerColon上创办了一个职业教育平台，教授这些专业人士如何在一个并非为他们设计的职场中导航。大约一年前，他放弃了一些东西。他放弃了追求朝九晚五的公司工作，开始自己创业。

One of the questions you'll wanna ask yourself is why do I want this thing? Colin Rocker is founder of For the First, a meetup club for first generation professionals. He also started a career education platform at CareerColon that teaches those professionals how to navigate a workplace that wasn't created with them in mind. And he quit something about a year ago. He quit the pursuit of a corporate nine to five job and started his own business.

科林从未想过成为一名企业主。他的父亲是一名企业家，经营一家管道业务，那并不容易。

Now, Colin had never wanted to be a business owner. His dad was an entrepreneur. He owned a plumbing business, and it was not easy.

我们被驱逐，还遇到了许多其他财务问题。我将很多痛苦与经营自己的生意联系在一起，这并非毫无根据，但它驱使我追求更传统的职业道路，即公司白领工作。

We got evicted and we had all these other financial troubles. And I that's what I I associated a lot of pain with running your own business, which wasn't exactly unfounded, but it it drove me in to pursue a more traditional career for myself that was, corporate and more and more white collar.

但去年，科恩失业了，这在一定程度上戳破了他认为朝九晚五工作能保证财务稳定的逻辑。在那个时刻，他也意识到自己追求这条职业道路还有另一个原因。

But then last year, Cohen lost his job, which kind of poked a hole in his logic that a nine to five gig was a guarantee of financial stability. And at that moment, he also realized he was pursuing this career path for another reason.

我曾追逐着一种期望被如何看待的执念——渴望被视为成功者。某种程度上，我希望被看作是有权势和影响力的人物。我以为只要在领英资料或简历上堆砌恰当的头衔、薪资和公司名号，即便内心并不充实，至少能营造出事业有成的形象。我贪恋那种被重视的错觉。

I was chasing a certain idea of how I wanted to be perceived, and I wanted to be perceived as successful. I wanted to be perceived as somewhat, you know, powerful and influential, right, in some ways. And I thought that if I could stack the right mix of titles and salaries and company names on a LinkedIn profile or on a resume, I would somehow not even really feel whole, but just be perceived as someone who had gone out and made something for themselves. And I wanted that perception of significance.

所以科林给你的建议是：审视自己为何选择当前道路。诚实地问自己，你还是当初设定这个目标时的同一个人吗？

So Colin's advice for you is to think about why you're on a particular path. Be honest with yourself and ask, are you the same person who set this goal?

很多时候人们参与某些事情——无论是加入运动队、选定专业、开启恋情、入职或选择职业道路——随着时间推移，最初的动机早已被抛诸脑后。他们的行动更多是出于惯性，而非本心。

A lot of times people go about certain things, whether this is joining a sports team, declaring a certain major, starting a relationship, starting a job or career path, and they get further down the line. And the original intention for whatever reason has now completely fallen to the wayside. And they're doing something more out of inertia than intention.

另一个要自问的问题是：如果放弃这件事，你害怕让谁失望？可能是父母、教练、教授、朋友群体，或是伴侣。

Another question to ask yourself is who are you afraid of disappointing if you quit this thing? That could be a parent or a coach, a professor, or a group of friends, a partner.

常有人找我做职业咨询——我很乐意提供帮助——他们会描述自己明显对工作毫无热情的状态。虽不想继续，却因在意他人看法或他人赋予的意义而勉强坚持。

People come to me sometimes for career advice, right, which I'm always happy to give. And they explain this whole situation where they're clearly, clearly, clearly not passionate about what they're doing for work. They don't want to continue doing it, but they feel drawn to it or they feel like they have to do it because of someone else's perception of them or what it means to someone else.

说到这个，考虑放弃时还有个关键问题：我对这个目标有多热爱？研究毅力的安杰拉·达克沃斯将其定义为长期目标的坚持与热忱的结合。她强调热情至关重要，因为要实现目标，必须刻意练习、持续投入。

On that note, another important question when you're thinking about quitting something is how passionate am I about this goal? Angela Duckworth, who studies grit, defines it as the combination of perseverance and passion for long term goals. And she says the passion part is really important. Because, yeah, if you wanna reach a goal, you've gotta be deliberate. You've gotta put in the reps.

但你在为什么投入练习？你实践的内容应该是能自然吸引你注意力的事物，而非强迫自己关注的对象。

But what are you putting the reps in about? I mean, what are you practicing? It should be something that grabs your attention without your forcing your attention to that object.

安杰拉在课堂上告诉学生：毅力关乎努力，但在努力之前，要先学会轻松选择。

In her classes, Angela will tell students, grit is about working hard. But before you get working hard, I want you to learn to choose easy.

从今天起，选择那些能自发吸引你注意力、让你进入心流状态的事情。选择那些与你最佳状态产生共鸣，符合你个人价值观的人生方向。

I want you to choose to do something with your life starting today that spontaneously grabs your attention, puts you into the flow state. I want you to do something where you feel this resonance with, like, who you are when you are at your best, your personal values.

如果可能，不要选择那些让你每时每刻都感到痛苦的职业、爱好、生活方式或人生道路。

If you can help it, don't choose a career or a hobby or a lifestyle or a path where you're gonna be hating every moment.

选择那些让你觉得‘什么？我居然有机会思考这个？我能谈论这个？还能和志同道合的人一起做这件事？’的事情。而且，当我做这些时，我真心觉得在道德层面上，这是我能呈现给世界的最好自我。

Choose things where you're like, what? I get to I get to think about this? I get to talk about this? I get to hang out with people who wanna do this? And by the way, when I do this, I really feel in some moral way that this is this is my best self that I can give to the world.

好的。在决定是否放弃某件事时，再问自己一个问题：这个目标现实吗？第三个要点是收集关于你目标的数据。安妮·杜克指出，根据目标不同，有不同方法收集数据并评估你个人的成功概率。

Okay. One more question to ask yourself as you decide whether to quit something. Is this goal realistic? Takeaway three is to gather the data about your goal. Depending on the goal, Annie Duke says, there are different ways to gather data and figure out your individual chance of success.

假设你15岁，想成为职业滑板选手。

Let's say you're 15 and you wanna be a pro skateboarder.

我可以实际观察并思考：那些成为职业选手的人，15岁时处于什么水平？或者他们投入了与我们目前相当的训练和指导后达到了什么程度？

I can actually look and say, when I look at people who have made the pros, where were they at 15? Or where were they after the amount of practice and coaching and so on and so forth that we have actually put into this up to this point.

再以试管婴儿为例，你的生育诊所可以提供基于你年龄和身体状况的成功率统计。然后你可以自问：我的风险承受能力如何？如果只有10%的成功率我能接受吗？

Or if we take the IVF example, your fertility clinic could provide stats on how likely success is at your age and given your situation. Then you can decide for yourself, what is my appetite for risk? Am I okay if I have a ten percent chance?

是否必须达到50%成功率我才接受？还是说必须80%才行？

Am I only okay if I have a fifty percent chance? Am I only okay if I have an eighty percent chance?

你还需要计算这个目标的代价。你为这个梦想或道路投入了多少金钱？它影响你的健康吗？你是否感到痛苦？是否失眠？

You also wanna figure out what this goal is costing you. How much money are you spending in pursuit of this dream or this path? Is it affecting your health? Are you miserable? Are you unable to sleep?

数不清有多少次，我最终离职的那些工作让我感到胸口发紧。我掉过头发，长过白头发。

I can't tell you the amount of times I've shown up to jobs that I ended up leaving where I could feel the the tightness in my chest. I've lost hair. I've grown gray hairs.

同时，思考你的时间还能用来做什么。这是经济学中的另一个概念——机会成本。

Also, think about what else you could be doing with your time. This is another concept from economics called opportunity cost.

问题始终在于：除了再次申请兽医学院、经历新一轮试管婴儿周期、争取那个面试或实习机会，我是否还能做更有价值的事？它是隐形的——那些你没在做的事，所以不会成为关注焦点。

It's always a question of, like, could I be doing something better other than applying to vet school again, you know, going through another IVF cycle, trying to get that interview or that internship. It's invisible. It's like the thing that you're not doing, so it's not the center of your attention.

所以想想放弃能让你腾出时间做什么，真正让自己去畅想。

So think about what quitting could free you up to do and really allow yourself to daydream.

这就像为新生长腾出空间，如果你想象一下，比如花园或自助餐盘。对吧？如果手头事情太多，生活中就没有空间容纳新事物。我发现当我创造那个空间后，其他事情就进入了我的生活，比如现在作为父亲的角色，甚至创建社区和所有其他我能做的美好事情。在我过去的生活中，根本没有太多空间容纳这些。

It's like making way for new growth if you think about, like, you know, a garden or maybe your plate at a buffet. Right? It's like if you have too much stuff going on, there's no room for anything new to come into your life. And so I I found that when I created that space, it allowed other things to come into my life, like my role now as a father, even starting the community and all these other beautiful things I've been able to do. There just wasn't a lot of space for that in the life I was living.

好的。第四个要点。如果你在考虑放弃某事但仍犹豫不决，问问几个你信任的人：我该继续做这个吗？安妮说我们都遇到过这种情况，看着别人处于一段关系、一份工作或追求某事时，我们会想，你在干嘛？

Okay. Takeaway four. If you're thinking about quitting something and you're still stuck, ask a couple people you trust. Should I keep doing this? Annie says we've all been in situations where we look at someone else, you know, they're in a relationship or they're in a job or they're pursuing something, and we're thinking, what are you doing?

他们来找你抱怨，比如我讨厌我的伴侣，我想离开。然后六个月后你见到他们，问情况如何？他们什么都没做，你会想，天啊，他们真该放弃。

They're coming and complaining to you and, like, I hate my partner, and I wanna leave. And then you see them six months later, and you're like, so how's that going? And they haven't done anything about it, and you're like, man, they should really just quit.

安妮说，我们在这些情况下能如此冷静，是因为我们没有背负他们的包袱。我们没有他们投入在这段关系、职业道路或其他事情上的沉没成本。所以你能比他们更清楚地看清情况。

The reason we can be so level headed in these situations, Annie says, is that we don't carry around all the baggage they do. We're not carrying around their sunk costs, all the time they've invested in this relationship or career path or whatever else. So you can see that situation much more clearly than they can.

所以猜怎么着？别人比你自己更能看清你的处境。

So guess what? Other people can see your situation more clearly than you can.

所以这里的建议是，寻求他人帮助，导师、同事、朋友。安吉拉正在写她的第二本书，讽刺的是，她有时真的很想放弃。所以她问丈夫和几个密友：我该放弃吗？他们说不要，继续写。

So the advice here, recruit other people to help you, mentors, peers, friends. Angela is currently writing her second book, and ironically, she has really wanted to quit at times. So she asked her husband and a couple of close friends, should I? They say no. Keep going.

但她说如果所有人都告诉你相反的意见

But she says if everybody's telling you the opposite

当一群关心你、了解你的人齐声说，我认为你应该放弃，把时间花在更有价值的事情上。我想你应该听听。

When there is a chorus of people who care about you and know you who say, I think you should give up and do something more valuable with your time. You know, I I think you should listen.

安妮说，当你和这些可信赖的顾问交谈时，确保告诉他们：对我诚实。告诉我需要听的，而不是你认为我想听的。

When you talk to these trusted advisers, Annie says, make sure you tell them, be honest with me. Tell me what I need to hear, not what you think I want to hear.

因为我想为自己了解真相，因为我在乎——你知道，如果你22岁，我在乎的是32岁的我。我不在乎你现在是否觉得伤害了我的感情。

Because I wanna know the truth for myself because I care about you know, if you're 22, I care about 32 year old me. I don't care about whether you think you're hurting my feelings right now.

所以从大局来看，我们并不是说你应该放弃那件事。只有你自己才能决定。但我们希望你能允许自己在适当的时候放弃一些事情，为接下来的事情腾出空间，给自己绽放的机会。

So big picture here. We're not saying you should quit that thing. That only you can decide. But we would love it if you gave yourself permission to quit things in general when that's the right choice for you and to make space for whatever's next, to give yourself the opportunity to bloom.

对我来说，在放弃这个并不完全适合我的身份之前，我感觉生活范围更小。但现在我感觉自己更加充实，能够更好地陪伴朋友、家人，工作上也更有成就感。

It felt for me like a smaller existence before I had quit this identity that wasn't necessarily serving me in every way it could, but I feel like a much more filled up person. And I feel like I'm I'm showing up better for my friends. I'm showing up better for my family and in my work because I feel more fulfilled by it.

好的，现在来回顾一下。要点一：考虑到我们文化中对放弃的偏见，以及人们将放弃等同于失败的态度，你仍在考虑这件事本身就值得认真对待。也许今天你还没准备好放弃，但请给自己设定一个做决定的截止日期。

Okay. Time for a recap. Takeaway one. Given our culture's bias against quitting and the way people act like quitting equals failure, the fact that you're still thinking about it is something to take seriously. You may not be ready to quit today, but set yourself a deadline to make the decision.

要点二：审视你当前的路径或目标。问问自己：为什么我想做这件事？为什么我在做这个？我还是当初设定这个目标的那个人吗？我坚持下去只是因为害怕让父母、伴侣或其他人失望吗？

Takeaway two, interrogate your current path or goal. Ask questions like, why do I wanna do this thing? Or why am I doing this? Am I the same person who set this goal? Am I just sticking with this because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents or my partner or someone else?

我对这个目标充满热情吗？这个目标现实吗？要点三：收集数据。评估成功的可能性以及你是否能接受。同时考虑追求这个目标在时间、金钱、压力和机会成本上的代价。

Am I passionate about this goal? And is this goal realistic? Takeaway three, gather the data. Figure out your likelihood of success and whether you're comfortable with that. Also think about what pursuing this goal is costing you in terms of time, money, stress, and opportunity cost.

这些都是因为你做这件事而无法做的其他事情。要点四：如果你在考虑放弃某件事但仍犹豫不决，可以向几个你信任的人征求意见。在结束前，安妮·杜克还有一个建议：从现在开始，设定目标时列出一份'除非'清单。

That's all the stuff you're not doing because you are doing this. And takeaway four, if you're thinking about quitting something and you're still stuck, ask a couple people you trust for their opinion. One more tip from Annie Duke before we go. From now on, when you set goals, make a list of unlesses.

这意味着我会追求这件事，除非...

So what that means is that I'm gonna go for this thing unless.

我会努力成为一名职业滑板选手，除非我持续受重伤；我会尝试今年再要一个孩子，除非我失业了；我会加入马戏团，除非我不再热爱它。把这看作是与自己的一份小合同，可以在适当的时候更容易地放弃。想了解更多生活技巧，请收听我们的其他节目。

I'm gonna try to be a pro skateboarder unless I keep getting seriously injured. I'm gonna try to have another kid this year unless I lose my job. I'm gonna join the circus unless I don't love it anymore. Think of this like a little contract with yourself that could make it easier to quit when the moment is right. For more life kit, check out our other episodes.

我们有关于如何集中注意力的节目，还有如何制定并坚持新年计划的节目。你可以在npr.org/lifekit找到这些内容。如果你喜欢生活技巧并想了解更多，请订阅我们的新闻通讯npr.org/lifekit newsletter。如果你有节目想法或想对我们说些好话，请发邮件至lifekit@npr.org。本期生活技巧节目由Margaret Cerrino制作。

We've got one on how to focus your attention and another on how to make resolutions you will keep. You can find those at npr.org/lifekit. And if you love life kit and want more, subscribe to our newsletter at npr.org/lifekit newsletter. Also, if you have episode ideas or you just wanna say something nice to us, email us at lifekit@npr.org. This episode of life kit was produced by Margaret Cerrino.

我们的视觉编辑是贝克·哈兰，数字编辑是马利卡·格雷布。梅根·凯恩是我们的高级监制，贝丝·多诺万是执行制片人。制作团队还包括安迪·泰格尔、克莱尔·玛丽·施耐德和西尔维·道格拉斯。工程支持由罗伯特·罗德里格斯提供。我是玛丽尔·塞加达。

Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan, and our digital editor is Malika Grebe. Megan Cain is our senior supervising editor, and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tegel, Claire Marie Schneider, and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Robert Rodriguez. I'm Mariel Segada.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

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