初恋混音带：A面（安可版）

我是丹·巴里，《纽约时报》的资深记者。

I'm Dan Barry, and I'm a longtime reporter with The New York Times.

我在这里工作了三十年，见证了无数变化。

I've been here for thirty years, and I've seen a lot of things change.

我入职时公司还没有网站。

I was here before there was a website.

但有件事从未改变，那就是《纽约时报》的使命——追寻事实真相，无论它指向何方。

But one thing hasn't changed at all, and that's the mission of The New York Times, to follow the facts wherever they lead.

如果这意味着要发布政府、领导人或名人不愿公开的内容，那不是我们需要考虑的问题。

And if that means publishing something a government or a leader or a celebrity doesn't want aired, that's not our concern.

如果您认同事实驱动报道的重要性，可以通过订阅《纽约时报》来支持我们。

If you believe in the importance of fact driven reporting, you can support it by becoming a New York Times subscriber.

此刻相爱，明日亦然。

Love now and tomorrow.

爱在远方

Far in love

上一次我爱着他们。

last time I love them.

爱比任何事物都强大。

Love was stronger than anything else.

为爱而爱。

For the love Love.

他们爱你胜过一切。

And they love you more than anything.

爱。

Love.

有爱存在。

There's to love.

爱。

Love.

来自

From the

《纽约时报》，我是安娜·马丁。

New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.

这是现代爱情。

This is modern love.

夏天即将来临。

So summer is coming soon.

天气渐渐变暖。

It's getting warmer.

我在户外的时间越来越多。

I'm spending more time outside.

就像每年一样，当天气变成这样时，我总会感到怀旧。

And just like every year, when the weather gets like this, I find myself feeling nostalgic.

怀念夏日恋情、假期浪漫和初恋。

For summer flings, for vacation romances, for first loves.

这一切让我想起丽莎·塞伦·戴维斯的现代爱情随笔《卢·里德教会我的关于爱的事》。

It all makes me think about the modern love essay, What Lou Reed Taught Me About Love by the writer Lisa Selen Davis.

我们在2022年制作了一期关于这篇文章的节目。

We made an episode about this essay back in 2022.

这实际上是我主持的第一期《现代爱情》节目，回想起来真是不可思议，这篇文章至今仍是我的最爱之一。

It's actually the very first episode of Modern Love that I ever hosted, which is wild to think about, and the essay is still one of my favorites.

它讲述了伴随我们爱情故事的所有歌曲，一首歌如何能瞬间将我们带回某个时间、地点和感受。

It's about all the songs that accompany our love stories, how one track can instantly take us back to a time and a place to a feeling.

这是一个阳光般美好的故事，所以本周我们将再次为您呈现这篇文章。

It's a beautiful, sunshiny story, so this week, we're bringing you that essay again.

此外，我还与几位同事讨论了那些教会他们爱情的歌曲。

Plus, I talk with a few of my colleagues about the songs that taught them about love.

本期节目分为上下两集，下周请记得收听第二部分。

This episode is a two parter, so you'll wanna look out for the second part next week.

不过这些细节我稍后再告诉你。

But I'll tell you about all that later.

现在请欣赏丽莎·塞伦·戴维斯所著、克里斯汀·波特朗读的《娄·里德教会我的爱情》。

For now, here's what Lou Reed taught me about love by Lisa Selen Davis, read by Kristen Potter.

当娄·里德去世时，我上脸书发现有多少朋友选择《我将成为你的镜子》作为婚礼歌曲。

When Lou Reed died, I got on Facebook and found out just how many friends had chosen I'll be your mirror as their wedding song.

我并非其中一员，但这首歌比其他任何作品都更深刻地教会了我什么是爱。

I wasn't one of them, but that song, more than any other, taught me about love.

16岁那年的夏天，我反反复复地听着这首歌。

I listened to it endlessly endlessly the summer I was 16.

父亲强烈建议——如果我想按照离婚协议约定在他家度过暑假——就应该去纽约州北部萨拉托加温泉州立公园从事繁重的体力工作。

My father had strongly suggested if I wanted to stay in his house for the summer as the divorce agreement had decreed, I should take a job doing hard physical labor in Saratoga Spa State Park in Upstate New York.

父亲的想法是通过艰苦劳动和大自然的疗愈力量来治愈我。

My father's idea was to heal me through hard work and the grounding power of nature.

这份工作每小时3.35美元，包括挖沟渠、建步桥、学习情绪管理，以及了解生长在小溪边的野生珍珠草的药用价值。

The job paid $3.35 an hour for digging trenches, building foot bridges, and learning about anger management, and the medical uses of jewelweed, which grew wild along the creek.

这工作简直是折磨。

The work was torture.

我天生适合写歌，不适合干建筑。

I was cut out for songwriting, not construction.

但最糟糕的是我得骑着富士12速自行车去工地，后架放着绿色安全帽，脚上还穿着赭石色工作靴。

But the worst part was riding my Fuji 12 speed there with a green hard hat on the rear rack while wearing ochre colored work boots.

天啊，简直是毒药，我想。

Boy, poison, I thought.

我有着令人不安的丰富经验。

I was disturbingly experienced.

年长的朋友们早就带我见识了各种本应多年后才知道的成人活动，但我从未有过真正的性经历、真正的男朋友或恋爱。

My older friends had introduced me to a variety of adult activities I shouldn't have known for years, but I'd never had actual sex or an actual boyfriend or been in love.

而我比任何人都渴望这些。

And I wanted those things more than anything.

某天下班后，当我推着自行车进后院时，看见一个男孩正和父亲坐在一起。

After work one day, as I pulled my bike into our backyard, a boy was sitting there with my dad.

父亲是当地吉他老师，有时那些头发乱蓬蓬的摇滚少年会来家里上课。

My father was the local guitar teacher, and sometimes gloriously stringy haired rocker kids arrived at the house for lessons.

这个男孩穿着沾有机油污渍的米色短裤，黄蓝条纹橄榄球衫，留着非常长的红头发。

This one wore beige shorts stained with bike grease, a yellow and blue striped rugby shirt, and very long red hair.

我眼中魅力的巅峰。

The apogee of attractiveness for me.

我曾在我朋友的聚会上见过他，每次我都试图用我唯一知道的方式引起他的注意——大声谈论我的偷窃、吸毒和发脾气，详细描述我有多么抑郁和痛苦。

I had seen him before at parties with my friends, and each time I had tried to get his attention the only way I knew, by speaking loudly about my stealing and drugs and temper tantrums, expounding on how depressed and in pain I was.

我以为这种情感深度会让我更有吸引力，但他似乎从未注意到我。

I thought this would make me attractive by way of emotional depth, but he never seemed to notice me.

这次他抬头看了，但我却拼命想躲起来。

This time he looked up, but I was desperate to hide.

我走进屋里，站在纱门边，看着父亲教那个漂亮男孩特拉维斯式的指弹技巧。

I went inside and stood at the screen door and watched as my father taught the beautiful boy the Travis style of finger picking.

之后，我焦虑地幻想着那个红发男孩。

After that, I daydreamed anxiously of the boy with the long red hair.

工作时，我戴着粗糙的工作手套，从小溪边拔除顽固的杂草。

At work, I wore scratchy work gloves and pulled tenacious weeds from the side of the creek bed.

每天，我都希望能见到他。

And every day, I hoped to see him.

但我也害怕见到他，生怕他看到我戴着安全帽、穿着工作靴的样子。

But I feared it too, lest he see me with my hard hat and work boots.

然后。

And then.

一个周六下午，我不上班时，看见他从哈德利·卢泽恩桥下跳入水中，那里是哈德逊河与塞昆达加河交汇处。

One Saturday afternoon when I wasn't working, I saw him leap into the water beneath the Hadley Luzerne Bridge, the place where the Hudson And Secundaga Rivers meet.

那是个神奇的地方，有秋千和黑色漩涡水流，我和朋友们常在岩石上弹吉他，度过慵懒的下午时光。

It was a magical spot with a rope swing and swirls of black water where my friends and I spent lazy afternoons and played guitars on the rocks.

他苍白的雀斑遍布胸膛和锁骨，在颈窝处形成一道美丽的凹陷。

He had pale freckles all over his chest and collarbone that formed a beautiful dent below his neck.

他含糊地向我问好。

He mumbled hello to me.

我对如何吸引男孩一无所知，但我脱下了非工作服、背心和破洞牛仔裤，只穿着内衣内裤走进河里。

I knew nothing about how to interest a boy, but I took off my nonwork clothes, tank top, and cut off jeans, and went in the river in my bra and underwear.

我用吉他完整弹奏了尼尔·杨的《针与伤害》。

I played the full tablature of Neil Young's needle and the damage done on the guitar.

我尽可能贴近他的身体，抓住一切机会站得更近。

I put my body next to his as much as possible, standing close whenever I could.

几天后，电话响了。

A few days later, the phone rang.

父亲接起电话，脸上闪过一丝困惑，然后把电话递给我。

My father answered, his face momentarily registering confusion as he handed the phone to me.

那声音低沉含糊，我完全听不清是谁在说话，也听不懂内容。

The voice was so low and mumbly that I couldn't understand who it was or what he was saying.

那段极度尴尬的时光仿佛没有尽头，直到我意识到是他。

And that moment of intense awkwardness seemed interminable until I realized it was him.

他问我是否想去哈德利卢泽恩游泳。

And he was asking me if I wanted to go swimming at Hadley Luzerne.

不知怎的，我勉强挤出了'好'字，尽管几乎无法呼吸。

Somehow, I managed to say yes even though I could barely breathe.

他正式约我出去约会了。

He had asked me on an actual date.

我曾服用过LSD，在假日酒店与陌生人亲热，却从未正式约会过。

I had taken LSD and made out with strangers at the Holiday Inn, but I had never been on a date.

他开着一辆破旧的黄色斯巴鲁旅行车来接我，我们听着X乐队的歌一路向北。

He picked me up in his battered yellow Subaru station wagon, and we drove north listening to the band x.

突然下起了倾盆大雨。

It started pouring.

我们躲进一家咖啡馆，他点了杯咖啡。

We ducked into a cafe, and he ordered coffee.

我从未喝过咖啡。

I had never had coffee.

我假装自己喝的是黑咖啡。

I pretended I drank it black.

那味道又苦又难喝，却因为他喜欢而成了我尝过最美味的滋味。

It was bitter and gross and the best thing I ever tasted because he liked it.

雨一直没停，我们回到他家听The Replacements的歌。

The rain didn't stop, so we went back to his house and listened to the replacements.

他在自行车修理店工作，身上带着股叫Cornhuskers护手霜的刺鼻味道，用来去除油污。

He had a job fixing bikes, and he smelled like something tangy called Cornhuskers lotion, which he used to get the grease off.

那天什么都没发生，但我开心得心口发疼。

Nothing else happened that day, but I was so happy it hurt.

之后我们经常见面，一起逛市中心、听演唱会，但始终没有肢体接触。

After that, I kept seeing him, walking downtown, going to concerts, but we never touched.

直到某个周六夜晚，我们在本地大学电台相遇——我们朋友在那里有档节目。

Then one Saturday night, we met at the radio station at the local college where our friend had a show.

他和我一起散步。

He and I took a walk.

夜晚温暖，弥漫着凤仙花的香气，还有流星雨划过。

The night was warm and smelled of jewelweed, and there were meteor showers.

他有着漂亮的头发和布满雀斑的锁骨，这简直让人无法抗拒。

He had that beautiful hair and the freckly collarbone, and it was way too much.

等待已变得难以忍受。

The waiting had become intolerable.

我停下脚步，转向他问道：这到底是怎么回事？

I stopped, turned toward him, and said, what is going on here?

我几乎是在哀鸣。

I was almost whining.

发生了什么？

What's happening?

他沉默下来，低头看着自己的鞋子。

He grew quiet and looked down at his shoes.

他又咕哝了一句。

He mumbled again.

我想他说的是：我喜欢你。

I think he said, I like you.

但随后他直视着我的眼睛问道：我能吻你吗？

But then he looked me clear in the eye and asked, can I kiss you?

从来没有人对我说过这样的话。

No one had ever said that to me.

从未有人如此体贴、温柔又善良。

No one had ever been so solicitous and gentle and kind.

从未有人那样渴望过我。

No one had ever wanted me that way.

他们曾那样利用我，却从未真正想要我。

They had used me that way, but never wanted me.

我飞快地亲了下他的脸颊，逃也似地跑回满是唱片架和霉味纸板气息的广播站。

I kissed him on the cheek as fast as I could and ran away back to the radio station amid the shelves of records and their musty cardboard smell.

十分钟后，他在那儿找到了假装研究珍妮丝·乔普林与Big Brother乐队《Cheap Thrills》专辑封面的我。

Ten minutes later, he found me there, pretending to study the cover of Janis Joplin and Big Brother and the Holding Company's cheap thrills.

不敢直视他。

Couldn't look at him.

他低声耳语，灼热的呼吸拂过我的发丝。

He whispered, his hot breath on my hair.

那并非我的本意。

That wasn't really what I meant.

我们去了他家。

We went to his house.

他坐在沙发上。

He sat on the couch.

我坐在地板上，他笨拙地试图给我揉肩。

I sat on the floor, and he made this awkward attempt to rub my shoulders.

那刻我体内燃烧的欲望与期待，比此生任何时候都更炽烈。

I was more on fire with desire and anticipation than I had ever been in my life.

当他俯身要吻我时，我迅速躲到了房间的另一头。

As he leaned down to kiss me, I scooted to the other side of the room.

你为什么喜欢我？

Why do you like me?

我问他。

I asked him.

你为什么对我感兴趣？

Why are you interested in me?

我只是在拖延时间，但他真的停下来思考这个问题。

I was just stalling, but he actually paused to consider the question.

好吧，他说。

Okay, he said.

我告诉你。

I'll tell you.

他说我可爱又风趣，擅长特拉维斯式的指弹吉他，而且音乐品味很好——在我们这群人里，这是最高的赞美。

He said I was cute and funny and good at the Travis style of fingerpicking and had good taste in music, which among our crowd was the highest compliment.

听到这份清单时，我的心似乎碎了，但却是甜蜜的破碎。

My heart seemed to break upon hearing this list, but in a good way.

我生命中其他人都能喋喋不休地列出我的缺点，但这个美好的男孩却看到了我过失背后的另一面。

Everyone else in my life could rattle off a list of my faults, but the beautiful boy saw what was on the other side of my misdeeds.

《我会成为你的镜子》的歌词，开始吧。

The lyrics to I'll be your mirror, go.

请放下你的双手，因为我能看见真实的你。

Please put down your hands because I see you.

他似乎能看见我自己都看不见的美。

And it seemed he was able to see the beauty in me that I couldn't.

他的脸离我很近，闻得到廉价洗发水和玉米壳润肤露的味道。

He had his face very close to mine, that smell of cheap shampoo and Cornhuskers lotion.

然后他说：当我看见你戴着安全帽穿着工靴骑自行车的样子时，就知道自己真的喜欢上你了。

And then he said, I knew I really liked you when I saw you on your bike with the work boots and hard hat.

我那时吻了他。

I kissed him then.

我们的牙齿相碰，我嘴巴张得太大，那个吻既凌乱又甜美，还让人心慌意乱。

My teeth hit his, and my mouth was open too much, and it was messy and delicious and terrifying.

接着我们找到了节奏。

And then we fell into a rhythm.

我把REM乐队《Reckoning》专辑B面所有歌的时间都用来吻他。

I kissed him for the entire b side of REM's reckoning.

我吻得如此投入，当晚回家时嘴唇又红又肿。

I kissed him so much, I went home that night with red swollen lips.

我想我再也没体验过比那灼热感更美妙的生理感受了。

I don't think I ever experienced a physical sensation better than that burn.

这仿佛将我童年的污浊过往擦拭干净。

It seemed to wipe clean the dirty slate of my childhood.

多年前我就与他失去了联系。

I lost track of him years ago.

我不知道他住在哪里，从事什么工作。

I don't know where he lives or what he does.

我不认识数字化的他。

I don't know him digitally.

我只在模拟世界里想起他。

I think of him only in analog.

所有的爱都与我的唱片纠缠在一起，那些唱片早已在我母亲的地下室里变形发霉。

All that love twisted up with my records, which long ago warped and mildewed in my mother's basement.

但从《我将成为你的镜子》中得到的教训是，有人会因我最羞耻的部分而爱我。

But the lesson from I'll Be Your Mirror remained that someone can love me for what shames me the most.

现在，我在睡前对女儿唱同样的歌词。

Now, I sing those same lyrics to my daughter before bed.

那年八月末，保护工作结束了。

The conservation job ended late that August.

我的灵魂、抑郁或愤怒管理问题并未因此得到修复。

My soul or my depression or anger management problems hadn't been repaired by it.

我没有学会努力工作或坚韧，也没有学到这个项目本应教会我的任何东西。

I hadn't learned about hard work or resilience or any of the other things the program was designed to teach me.

但我被治愈了，正如那首情歌所承诺的那样。

But I was healed, just as that love song promised.

稍后回来，那些教会现代爱情团队一两件事的爱情歌曲。

When we come back, the songs that taught the modern love team a thing or two about love.

请继续收听。

Stay with us.

《纽约时报》应用里有你或许未曾见过的所有内容。

The New York Times app has all this stuff that you may not have seen.

我能立刻找到符合我当下心情的内容。

I can immediately navigate to something that matches what I'm feeling.

顶部标签页的设计将所有不同板块集中在一起。

The way the tabs are at the top with all of the different sections.

这样浏览起来更方便。

It's just easier to navigate that way.

每个人都能找到自己感兴趣的内容。

There is something for everyone.

那些个性化页面，比如YouTube，是我的最爱。

Those personalized page, the YouTube, that one's my favorite.

我还能在这个区域轻松保存文章。

I can also save my articles easily in this area.

在作者署名下方，有个'点击此处收听文章'的选项。

Right under the byline, it says click here if you like to listen to this article.

我喜欢顶部烹饪标签页的一键直达功能。

I like that the cooking tab on top is really easily accessible.

所以当我下班路上想着'晚餐该做什么'时，

So if I'm on my way home and I'm just thinking, oh, what am I gonna make for dinner?

就能快速进入烹饪板块，看看厨房现有食材能做些什么。

I'll just quickly go on to cooking and say, oh, I've got this in my pantry.

我打算尝试这里看到的几个食谱。

I'm gonna try out some of these recipes I see in here.

我总是订购游戏。

I order games always.

玩着迷你游戏，解着Wordle。

Doing the mini, doing the Wordle.

我喜欢它向我展示的丰富内容。

I loved how much content it exposed me to.

那些我从未想过会在新闻应用中看到的内容。

Things that I never would have thought to turn to a news app for.

这款应用必不可少。

This app is essential.

《纽约时报》

The New

应用。

York Times app.

所有资讯，尽在一处。

All of the times, all in one place.

立即在nytimes.com/app下载。

Download it now at nytimes.com/app.

好的。

Okay.

米娅·李 嗯哼。

Mia Lee Mhmm.

你是《现代爱情企划》的编辑。

You're the editor of Modern Love Projects.

在你16岁左右时，是哪首歌教会了你什么是爱？

When you were around 16, what was the song that taught you about love?

我想到的是鲍勃·迪伦的《别多想，没关系》。

The song that comes to mind is Bob Dylan's Don't Think Twice, It's Alright.

说你待我刻薄。

Saying you treated me unkind.

你本可以做得更好，但我不介意。

You could've done better, but I don't mind.

你只是浪费了我宝贵的时间。

You just kinda wasted my precious time.

别多想。

Don't think twice.

没关系。

It's alright.

我可能是在YouTube上偶然听到这首歌的，当时正和我的初恋男友——高中时的男友分手。

I Came across it probably on YouTube when I was splitting up with my first boyfriend, high school boyfriend.

我们在诗歌课上相识。

We met in poetry class.

我们俩都很戏剧化，很像那种会发隐晦推文的人。

We were both pretty dramatic and much like people, like, subtweet.

你知道的，我们会互相发些隐晦的内容

You know, we'd kind of, like, subtweet each other in

我们的意思是，比如你会写诗。

our Meaning, like, you'd write poems.

我们会为彼此写诗。

We'd write poems for each other.

但我们其实并不太了解对方。

But we didn't really get to know each other that well.

这首歌讲的就是那种——试图哀悼一段你并不真正了解对方的关系。

And this song was about that of, like, trying to mourn a relationship where you really don't know the person that well.

也许那不是最深的爱，但它意义非凡。

Maybe it wasn't the deepest love, but it was meaningful.

所以我把它当作我的主题曲。

So I had this as my anthem.

我用iMovie录了自己唱这首歌的卡拉OK版本。

I recorded myself, you know, singing a karaoke version of it on iMovie.

等等。

Wait.

等等。

Wait.

等等。

Wait.

等等。

Wait.

不。

No.

你不能跳过那段。

You can't jump past that.

你录了自己。

You recorded yourself.

我在YouTube上找到了一个卡拉OK版本。

I found a karaoke version on YouTube.

就是纯伴奏的那种。

As in just the instrumentals.

就是带屏幕歌词显示的纯伴奏。

Just the instrumentals with the the lyrics across the screen.

那是你在自己卧室里。

It was you in your bedroom.

那甚至不是我的卧室。

It wasn't even my bedroom.

我当时在家庭共用的客厅里，唱着《Don't Think Twice It's Alright》的卡拉OK版。

I was in my communal family living room singing a karaoke version of Don't Think Twice It's Alright.

是啊。

Yeah.

这很难被超越。

It's hard to top that.

不过，丹·琼斯，也向你问好。

But, Dan Jones, hi to you as well.

你好，安娜。

Hi, Anna.

你呢？

What about you?

哪首歌让青春期的你懂得了爱情？

What's the song that taught teenage you about love?

16岁的我正值电影《周末夜狂热》上映的年代。

16 year old me was around the time that the movie Saturday Night Fever came out.

不知怎的，我偷偷带了朋友进去，坐在那里看着电影开场——约翰·特拉沃尔塔大摇大摆走在布鲁克林的街头。

Somehow, I snuck in my friends, and I'm sitting there, you know, and the beginning of that movie is John Travolta striding down the streets of Brooklyn.

背景音乐是比吉斯乐队的《活着》，他踩着节拍走路，手里的油漆罐也随着节奏摆动。

The song Staying Alive by the Bee Gees is playing, and he's walking to the beat and swinging the can of paint to the beat.

迎面走来的女人们双腿跟着节奏摆动，他转身偷瞄她们随节拍扭动的臀部。

And women walking the other way, their legs are, like, moving to the beat, and he's, like, turning around to catch their, like, butts moving to the beat.

他就像我在匹兹堡认识的许多工人阶层一样，但整个场景充满了性暗示。

And he was a working class guy like so many people I knew in Pittsburgh, but this whole thing was so sexualized.

比吉斯乐队用假声演唱，这种性别模糊的体验发生在我连‘性别’这个词都不懂的年纪。

And the Bee Gees with their falsetto voices that the whole thing was sort of this gender bending experience at a time when I didn't even know what the word gender meant.

这部电影像炸弹般释放了各种性张力，展现了冲破我成长环境中思想枷锁的活法。

And it was just exploding with, like, sexuality and ways you can be in the world that were that were out of the straight jacket that I felt like I'd sort of grown up with at that point.

不过我想聊聊歌词，有句唱道‘我们可以试着理解《纽约时报》对男人的影响’。

I wanna talk about the lyrics, though, because there's this one line where they say, we can try to understand the New York Times effect on man.

这是什么意思？

What does that mean?

我知道。

I know.

我注意到了。

I saw that.

要知道，那时候我连‘性别’这个词都不知道。

You know, at the time, I didn't know what the word gender was.

我也没听说过《纽约时报》。

I also didn't I've never heard of the New York Times.

这就像是媒体对男性的影响，比如像约翰·特拉沃尔塔这样的工人阶级男性。

It's it was like the media's effect on men, like working class men like John Travolta.

嗯，我是说，16岁的你可能没听说过

Well, I mean, 16 year old you might not have, you know, heard of the

《纽约时报》，但你现在在这里工作，并且创造了它极具标志性的一部分。

New York Times, but, I mean, now you work here, and you've created a really iconic part of it.

你是《现代爱情》的创始人。

You are the founder of Modern Love.

十八年前，你创办了这个专栏。

Eighteen years ago, you started the column.

丹，我想感谢你，米娅，我也要感谢你们信任我，让我参与

And I wanna thank you, Dan, and I also wanna thank you, Mia, for trusting me with a little part of

其中。

it.

谢谢你，安娜。

Thank you, Anna.

是啊。

Yeah.

欢迎。

Welcome.

欢迎。

Welcome.

非常感谢。

Thanks so much.

稍后回来时，我会分享那首在我16岁时教会我爱情的歌曲。

When we come back, I share the song that taught me about love when I was 16.

请继续收听。

Stay with us.

首次播出这期节目时，我并未谈及自己的歌，现在我要补上这段。

When we first aired this episode, I didn't talk about my own song, so I'm gonna do that right now.

当我回想16岁那年改变我的歌，想到的是比利·乔尔的《Just The Way You Are》。

When I think about the song that changed me as a 16 year old, I'm thinking about Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel.

我父亲总在车里播放比利·乔尔的精选CD。

My dad would always play a Billy Joel greatest hit CD in the car.

起初我勉强忍受，总求他关掉音乐，换成流行电台之类的。

I started off barely tolerating it, asking him to turn it off, to change it to, like, the pop radio station or whatever.

但反复聆听后，我彻底着迷了。

But after many listens, I got hooked.

我成了比利·乔尔的信徒。

I became a Billy convert.

这首《Just The Way You Are》中，比利唱道他的爱人无需改变发型衣着，也不必用机智谈吐取悦他。

And this particular song, just the way you are, Billy sings that his lover doesn't need to change her hair or her clothes or impress him with clever conversation.

这首歌吸引我的地方在于——16岁的我尝试过所有这些事。

And the thing that drew me to the song is, like, I tried all of those things at age 16.

我曾拼命拉直自己的头发。

I'd straightened the hell out of my hair.

我剪了刘海。

I'd gotten bangs.

我尝试了各种造型，想吸引不同类型的男生。

I tested out all these different looks to try to appeal to different guys.

我不断改变形象，试图给人留下深刻印象。

I was constantly shape shifting, attempting to impress.

而在这首歌里，我感觉比利在对我说：你不需要做这些。

And in this song, I felt like Billy was saying to me, you do not need to do all that.

我无法更爱你了。

I couldn't love you any better.

我就爱你本来的样子。

I love you just the way you are.

直到今天我有时仍需要被提醒这点。

I still need to be reminded of that sometimes even today.

所以谢谢你，比利。

So thank you, Billy.

好的。

Okay.

就像开头说的，这期节目分为上下两集。

As I said at the top, this episode is a two parter.

下周我们将听到你们的爱情故事——听众分享那些教会他们爱的歌曲。

Next week, we'll hear your stories, stories from listeners on the songs that taught them about love.

这个歌单里有些真正走心的热门金曲。

It's a playlist with some real heartfelt bangers.

你绝对不会想错过它。

You will not wanna miss it.

本期《现代爱情》由Julia Bottero和Hans Buteau于2022年制作，Sarah Saracen负责剪辑。

This episode of Modern Love was produced in 2022 by Julia Bottero and Hans Buteau and edited by Sarah Saracen.

额外制作和剪辑由Sarah Curtis和Lynn Levy完成。

Additional production and editing by Sarah Curtis and Lynn Levy.

制作管理由Christina Joseph负责。

Production management by Christina Joseph.

本集混音由Sonia Herrero完成，录音室支持来自Maddie Masiello。

This episode was mixed by Sonia Herrero with studio support from Maddie Masiello.

《现代爱情》主题音乐由Dan Powell创作。

The Modern Love theme music is by Dan Powell.

本集附加音乐由Dan Powell和Ahmad Sahota制作。

Additional music in this episode by Dan Powell and Ahmad Sahota.

数字制作由Mahiba Chablani和Desibekwa负责，特别感谢Autumn的Ryan Wegener。

Digital production by Mahiba Chablani and Desibekwa, and special thanks to Ryan Wegener at Autumn.

《现代爱情》专栏由Daniel Jones编辑。

The modern love column is edited by Daniel Jones.

Mia Lee是现代爱情项目的编辑。

Mia Lee is the editor of modern love projects.

若您想向《纽约时报》投稿散文或微型爱情故事，节目说明中附有投稿指南。

If you'd like to submit an essay or a tiny love story to the New York Times, we have the instructions in our show notes.

我是Anna Martin。

I'm Anna Martin.

感谢聆听。

Thanks for listening.