#1015 - 阿兰·德波顿 - 来自人生学校的16堂课

因为他们被现实逼迫着抛弃了关于力量与权力的幻觉。

Because they've been forced by circumstances to drop the illusion of their strength and power.

他们明白自己无法维持那种假象。

They they've known that they couldn't keep that going.

他们跌至谷底，不得不伸手求助说：我撑不下去了。

They've hit rock bottom, and they've had to reach out and say, I can't cope.

我...我处于婴儿般的无助状态。

I I am in infantile position.

你知道吗？

You know?

帮帮我。

Help me.

我是说，当男人经历这些后会变得光辉，因为那才是真正的人性与同情心等等的体现。

That I mean, men become rather glorious when that's happened to them, because that's when there's true humanity, sympathy, etcetera.

但有些男人，他们永远达不到那种境界。

But some men, they never get there.

明白吗？

You know?

是姿态，姿态，姿态的问题。

It's it's posture, posture, posture.

你知道的，从头到尾都是防御姿态。

It's, you know, defensive posture all the way.

所以我一眼就能认出他们。

So and I I can spot them a mile away.

那些被击垮过的男人

The men who've been broken

他们看起来是什么样子的？

How do what what do they look like?

不是外表能看出来的，你只是能感觉到一种谦逊。

It's not you you just sense that there's, a modesty.

内心深处有一种谦逊，你能感觉到——我觉得人们会散发出这种气息，我经常注意到——你能判断出可以告诉他们多少，以及他们能承受多少。

Deep down, there's a modesty, and you just feel I think people give off, I often notice it, a sense of how much you could tell them and how much they'd be able to bear.

往往就体现在那些小事上。

Often it's picked up in little things.

你懂吗？

You know?

人们会问，你周末过得怎么样？

People say, how was your weekend?

过得愉快吗？

Is it great?

还不错吧？

Was it good?

你会说，哦，哇。

You go, oh, wow.

那个人真的很需要我周末过得顺利，因为他们自己没什么空间。

That person really needs my weekend to have gone well because they don't have much space.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我周末过得很糟。

My weekend to have gone badly.

嗯。

Mhmm.

有人问，你周末过得如何？

Someone goes, how was your weekend?

这里面是有余地的。

There's space in that.

那里面还有空间。

There's space in that.

你能感受到那个空间。

You feel the space.

他们就像在说，哦，我可能刚在浴室地板上哭过。

They're like, oh, I might have been crying in the bathroom floor.

那种事是有可能发生的。

That that could happen.

周六我可能还想结束生命，但到了周日，事情就有所好转。

I might have wanted to take my life on Saturday, but Sunday, things cheered up.

你知道吗？

You know?

人性中那些极端的部分也需要有容身之处，而这些人正是你需要留意的。

There's room for the extremity of what it is to be human, and those are the people you wanna watch out for.

明白吗？

You know?

我几周前读过一篇文章，谈到很多男性表示，社会需要给男性更多空间来表达情感。

I've read an article, a couple of weeks ago, talking about how lots of men say, there needs to be more room for men to open up about their emotions.

在现实世界中我们应当做到这点。

We should have that in the real world.

但当真正面临个人处境时，很多时候男性仍然难以接受其他男性展现的软弱和脆弱。

And when the rubber meets the road, personally for them, a lot of the time, guys still struggle to receive weakness and vulnerability from other men.

所以他们其实是在说：我希望世界能接纳我的脆弱，但自己却不太愿意接纳别人的脆弱。

So they're saying, I want the world to be able to accept my vulnerability whilst not really being that comfortable with accepting it from other people myself.

而且，我认为并没有太多不对称性，女性在某些方面处境艰难，男性则在其他方面。

And, I don't think that there's many asymmetries, and women have got it bad in some ways, and men have got it bad in others.

但我认为这是一种男性更常面对的特殊不对称性，女性擅长提供情感支持，尤其是对同性。

But I think this is a particular asymmetry that men deal with more, that I think women are good at doing the nurturing thing, especially to other women.

我认为男性普遍不擅长提供情感支持，尤其是对同性。

I think that men are bad at doing the nurturing thing generally, especially to other men.

而且男性向女性敞开心扉已经面临足够多的挑战了。

And there are already enough challenges of men opening up to women.

哦，别人会怎么看我？

Oh, how am I going to be seen?

我脆弱的男子气概会因此破碎。

My fragile masculinity will be shattered.

也许她会告诉朋友，或者如果是我的伴侣——

Maybe she'll tell her friends, or maybe it's my partner.

她可能就不再对我有吸引力了。

She won't be attracted to me anymore.

是的，我之前从未意识到这个角度：男性渴望能够展现脆弱，但当他们看到其他男性的脆弱时，又会感到极度不适。

And, yeah, I I just think that was I'd never seen it put that way previously that guys want to be able to be vulnerable, and yet when they see other male vulnerability, it makes them very, very uncomfortable.

他们会在网上'引用推文'加以嘲讽，或者不会以需要的方式伸出援手。

They'll, quote, tweet it online, mocking it, or they won't reach out in the way that's needed.

提出的几个原因包括：这可能也凸显了你自身的弱点。

And a couple of the reasons that were put forward are, well, maybe it highlights why you might be weak too.

当有人展现脆弱时，就会鲜明地对比出——

This is somebody being being vulnerable, and that throws into sharp contrast the fact that, hey.

猜怎么着？

Guess what?

你也有弱点。

You've got vulnerabilities as well.

嗯。

Mhmm.

另一个角度，从进化心理学解释来说，我们有自己的联盟。

Another part of this, a little bit of an evolutionary psychology explanation that, we have our coalitions.

我们出去打猎时，一个不够强壮坚毅的人可能不是个好队友。

We would go out hunting, and a guy that's not that strong and stoic might not be a great coalitional partner.

要是打到猎物后他懒得转身回来怎么办？

What if we get to the end of the hunt and he can't be bothered to turn around and go back?

还有很多很多其他原因。

So many, many other reasons.

但我觉得这是个视角，特别是对那些想要融入并超越的男性——用威尔伯的话说就是'包含'——你们不仅要能谈论情绪，更要实际付出。

But, yeah, I think that's an angle that guys, especially guys who want to be integrated to transcend and include in Wilberian language, you know, you should take a good look in the mirror in not just being able to talk about your emotions, but in paying into the pot.

对吧？

Right?

不只是逃避责任，还要主动付出。

Not just withdrawing from the taxes, but also, hey.

我会在这里。

I'm gonna be here.

我会在这里，甚至对陌生人——比如网上某个素不相识的人，而不是说'这人跟我无关，这人正在受苦'

And I'm going to be here even to people maybe that I don't know, this random guy on the Internet as opposed to saying, This person's with going, This person was really hurting.

嗯。

And Mhmm.

操。

Fuck.

如果我受伤了，我大概会希望有人陪在身边。

If I was hurting, I I'd probably want someone to be there for me.

所以也许我该试着为他们做同样的事，尽管并不认识他们。

So maybe I should try and do the same for them despite not knowing them.

我在想欺凌这件事。

I'm thinking of bullying.

你知道，这是个奇怪的词，也是个令人尴尬的词，但它确实存在。

You know, it's it's a strange word, and it's an embarrassing word, but it exists.

你知道，那种欺凌弱者的冲动。

You know, the the impulse to bully the weak.

那是什么？

What is it?

我是说，每个上过学的人——也就是所有人——都清楚这种事。

I mean, anyone who's been through school, which is everybody, knows about it.

对吧？

Right?

典型欺凌目标就是学校里那些看起来生活比你更优渥、更受宠的人。

Which is you see somebody who's you know, typical target for bullying is somebody in a school whose whose life seems softer, more indulged than yours.

他们似乎仍停留在某种特权阶层。

They still seem stuck at a, in a way, at a privilege level.

他们的妈妈会烤些饼干，或是把泰迪熊塞进书包，诸如此类的事情。

Their mother bakes some biscuits or packs their teddy bear in their school bag or whatever it is.

而你心想，等一下。

And you think, hang on a minute.

我必须坚强。

I've had to be tough.

我必须长大。

I've had to grow up.

我从未被娇惯过。

I've had to I've not been indulged.

我要惩罚的不仅是别人的软弱，还有我看到的那些情感特权。

And I'm going to I'm going to punish in another person, not just the weakness, but the privilege, the emotional privilege that I see.

他们可以心安理得地表现得软弱和优柔寡断。

They they get to they get to walk around thinking that it's okay to be a bit weak and a bit soft.

但这对我不行。

Well, that's not okay for me.

所以我憎恨这种特权，我要让他们的日子不好过。

So I'm I resent this privilege, and I'm gonna make sure that their life gets a bit miserable.

这就是欺凌的起源。

And that's how you end up bullying.

要知道，父母也会欺凌自己的孩子。

And, you know, parents bully their children.

虽然这是个大禁忌，但事实如此。

I mean, this is a great taboo, but they do.

对父母而言，看到子女过着比自己当年更轻松的生活确实是个挑战，内心难免会涌起'这不公平'的冲动。

It's a real challenge for a parent to see somebody having a life that's softer than the one they had, And there's a real impulse to say, hang on.

你知道吗，我其实嫉妒你享有的特权——不是物质或情感上的优势，而是那种被纵容的情感特权。

You know, I I resent you for your your privilege, not not emotion not financial, emotion emotional privilege.

凭什么你能享受我当年得不到的宠爱？

Why do you get to be indulged in a way I wasn't?

这种不对等的关系确实令人难以承受。

It's very hard to bear that asymmetry.

人们该如何克服这种心理？

How do people overcome that?

假设你身为父母，成长在一个情感包容度不足的家庭环境中。

Let's say that you are a parent, and you did grow up in a household that was perhaps not as emotionally forgiving as it should have been.

你从未感受过足够的支持。

You didn't feel quite as supported.

我能想象这种复杂情绪——而这恰恰是我最感兴趣的研究领域。

And I imagine this this is a really complex emotion to feel, which are my favorite ones.

我就是在情感压抑的家庭环境中长大的。

I grew up in a household that didn't have room for my emotions.

我做了大量自我疗愈才理解这点，努力摆脱阴影只为给孩子更好的人生。

I did a lot of self work in order to be able to understand that and then try and wipe that slime off me so that I can give a better life to my kids.

后来我的孩子们出生了。

My kids come along.

他们开始过上这种更幸福的生活。

They start to have this better life.

不知怎的，当我看到自己设计并试图实现的美好生活时，怨恨却涌上心头。现在我为自己的怨恨感到羞耻，又因这份羞耻而痛苦，更因对怨恨的羞耻与对痛苦的焦虑而煎熬。

And somehow in seeing the better life that I designed and tried to overcome in order to be able to make happen, resentment has now come in, and now I feel shame at my resentment, and I feel bitterness at my shame about my resentment and anxiety about my bitterness about my shame about my resentment.

正是你以积极的方式引发了这种情绪的无限循环。

It's this infinite regress of emotions that you made happen in a positive way.

恭喜，太棒了。

Congratulations, Hooray.

你克服了这个难关。

You overcame this.

你就像这串古怪的串联灯带中的断路器，

You were a circuit breaker in this sort of weird, you know, serial of, of string lights,

而你却为此感到内疚。

and you feel bad about it.

我是说，我在笑对吧？因为这就是人类处境的悲剧性——你拼命想把事情做对，可当你努力纠正这个时，另一个问题又出现了。

I mean, I'm laughing, right, because this is where we're hitting kind of the tragedy of being human, which is you try so hard to get it right, and you're trying to get this right, and something else goes wrong.

而且，你知道的，我们确实需要温暖而丰沛的笑声。

And, I mean, you know, we do need a warm, rich laughter.

这不仅仅是锦上添花。

This is not merely the icing on the cake.

这是伟大的解决方案之一。

It is one of the great solutions.

我是说，我们此刻正艰难应对着养育孩子过程中的种种矛盾。

I mean, we're we're juggling here with the incompatibilities of, you know, raising children.

这简直让人发狂。

It's maddening.

如果你避开一个问题，就会引发另一个问题。

If you avoid one problem, you set off another one.

我想是的。

I think that, yes.

所以你看。

So look.

我觉得我们对自己做了这么多努力，却依然在原地踏步。

I think we do so much work on ourselves and still we're at square one.

有句古老的犹太谚语说：凡人一思考，上帝就发笑。

There's an old Jewish saying, man thinks God laughs.

换句话说，我们总以为自己能掌控某些事情。

In other words, you know, we're thinking that we can master something.

我们能掌控某个问题。

We can master a problem.

这太难了。

It's so difficult.

但我想谈谈施虐倾向，因为我们正在讨论霸凌行为。

But I wanna talk about I wanna think about sadism because we're about bullying.

施虐倾向这个词真的很奇怪。

It's a really weird word, sadism.

那么这到底是什么？

So what what is that?

你可能会觉得这是性癖好，或者是某些非常古怪的人才会有的行为。

That's you think maybe it's a sex kink or it's something that really weird people.

我想说的是，我们每个人都带有一种施虐冲动。

All of us carry a sadistic impulse, I wanna say.

一种冲动。

An impulse.

换句话说，这是一种将自身痛苦转化为惩罚他人或使他人受苦的欲望的冲动。

In other words, an impulse to turn our own suffering into, a desire to punish or give suffering to another person.

嗯。

Mhmm.

它总是源于我们自身的痛苦，而我们想将其传递出去。

It always comes from pain in ourselves, and we wanna pass it on.

而且你会发现日常生活中处处存在低层次、细微到难以察觉的施虐行为。

And and you see low level low level, minuscule, very hard to observe sadism in in daily life, in all sorts of areas.

在亲密关系中，人们会对伴侣施虐。

You see in relationships, You know, people are sadistic to their partners.

我的意思是，如果有天使存在，他们看到人性时一定会哭泣。

I mean, what you know, again, we you know, if there were angels, they would be weeping as they looked at human nature.

我们对自己和彼此都做了些什么？

And what are we doing to ourselves and to each other?

但痛苦也有其经济规律。

But there's an economy of suffering.

所有的刻薄都是传承而来的。

All meanness is inherited.

每一代人的施虐冲动都继承自前人。

All impulse to be mean is coming down the generations from somebody else.

我们不断玩弄着自己的痛苦，像传递包裹一样。

And we we keep playing past the parcel with our suffering.

我们走着，哦，看啊。

We go, oh, look.

我有些痛苦。

I've got some suffering.

哦，你想要一些吗？

Oh, do you want some?

因为这只会让我感觉好受些。

Because I'm just it's gonna make me feel better.

这就是我们最终的下场。

And that's how we end up.

你知道吗？

You know?

那家伙偷走了我的脚，所以我要挖掉他们的眼睛。

That guy that guy stole my my foot, so I'm gonna take their eye.

哦，那个人砍掉了我的左手手指。

Oh, that person hacked off my my left finger.

那我就割掉他们的耳朵，然后，你知道的，我还要掀掉他们半边头盖骨。

Well, I'll chop off their ear, and then, you know, I'll take a side of their skull.

明白吗？

You know?

就这样无休止地循环下去。

And on and on and on it goes.

我记得你说过，良好教育的一个标志是孩子没有成名的愿望。

I remember you saying a marker of good parenting is that your children don't have any wish to be famous.

是的。

Yes.

你知道，这个规则可能有些例外，但

You know, there might be a few exceptions to that rule, but

我

I

我认为，过度渴望在陌生人眼中闪耀，被不认识的人知晓，是一种病态的表现。

think the an outsized desire to shine in the eyes of strangers, to be known by people you don't know is a sign of pathology, I believe.

而我们正坐在这里，你和我。

And we're sitting here, you and I.

在众多摄像机前。

In front of lots of cameras.

在许许多多陌生人面前。

In front of lots of lots of strangers.

所以我们肯定哪里出了问题。

So something's gone wrong for us.

我是说这很基本。

I mean and it's so basic.

我对你的童年了解不够。

I don't know enough about your childhood.

我对自己的童年略知一二。

I know a bit about mine.

你会感到自己无足轻重。

You will have felt invisible.

我是说，如果你内心没有那种深刻的被忽视和被无视的感觉，为什么要表现得比其他人更引人注目呢？

I mean, why become a little bit more visible than everybody else if you don't carry within you a deep sense of having been invisible and unheard?

这难道不是人类源代码中普遍存在的天然倾向吗？

Is there not a natural pull for that generally that's kind of written into the source code of humans?

哦，我想确实如此，而且这是所有人的共性。

Oh, I suppose, actually, yes, there is, and it's everybody else.

而你在其中成为异类的事实，恰恰说明你与众不同。

And the fact that you are an outlier within that suggests that you are different.

没错。

Right.

好的。

Okay.

我已经自问自答了。

I've answered my own question.

谢谢。

Thank you.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以我认为这里存在某种补偿机制，而且我觉得能过上所谓的平凡生活其实是项了不起的成就。

So I think there's a compensatory, business going on, and I think the ability to have a so called ordinary life is a massive achievement.

可以说——如果你愿意这么表述的话——这是种非凡的成就。

It's if you can put it this way, an exceptional achievement.

这就像喜剧演员一样。

It's it's like it's like comedians.

你知道吗？

You know?

那些极度渴望逗人笑的人，几乎都是童年时面对过完全不有趣的事情，不得不寻找出路的孩子。

People who have an outsized need to make others laugh are almost always children who were facing something not funny at all that they needed to find a way through.

他们学会讲笑话，是因为周围有相当悲伤的事情需要应对。

They they learned to make jokes cause there was something pretty sad around, that they learned to manage.

在处理这些人或类似听众时，反应始终应该是：我成长的方式如何成为解决当时面临问题的方法？

And in all of these you know, when when dealing with those people or those sort of people are listening now, you know, the response should always be what how did the way in which I grew up figure as a solution to a problem that I was facing?

那么，在现在的年纪，我能否对自己宽容些，尝试其他方式？

And therefore, could I now, at whatever age you're at, cut myself some slack and try something else?

我需要用笑声来换取被容忍。

I needed to laugh in order to be tolerated.

严肃意味着什么？

What would it mean to be serious?

我需要成名才能生存。

I needed to be famous in order to survive.

默默无闻意味着什么？

What would it mean to think about obscurity?

或者说，我需要痛苦地保持谦逊，始终表现不佳以避免引发嫉妒。

Or indeed, I needed to be painfully modest and always underperform in order in order not to spark jealousy.

如果我尝试不同的方式会怎样？

What happens if I tried something different?

要知道，这些都是人生中重要的转折点和关键时刻。

You know, these are these are the major sort of breakpoints, turning points in a life.

当你意识到童年时期赖以生存的行为方式，如今却阻碍了成年后的发展可能，而那些曾经需要这些行为的情境已不复存在。

When you think the things I needed to do to get me through childhood are now hampering my possibilities in adulthood, those the situations that required that behavior are no longer in existence.

如果我尝试不同的做法会怎样？

What happens if I tried something different?

但要做到这一点，你必须看清那个你...你...（未完成句）

But in order to do that, you have to see the pattern that you would that you

被你的童年所设定的模式。

were set by your childhood.

喜剧演员马克·马龙说过：'我为保护内心小孩而创造的怪物，如今已难以驾驭。'

Mark Marron, comedian, says, the monster I created to protect the child inside of me is difficult to manage.

真美。

Beautiful.

太喜欢了。

Love it.

本节目由Momentous赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by Momentous.

对于保健品而言，信任确实至关重要。

Trust really is everything when it comes to supplements.

许多品牌可能自称品质一流，但极少能真正证明这一点——这就是我选择与Momentous合作的原因。

A lot of brands may say that they're top quality, but very few can actually prove it, which is why I'm partnered with Momentous.

他们生产地球上最高品质的保健品，而我尤其钟爱他们的乳清分离蛋白粉。

They make the highest quality supplements on the planet, and I've fallen in love with their whey isolate protein powder.

这是草饲的。

It's grass fed.

这是一种超级便捷的方式，能为你的饮食增加蛋白质，促进肌肉增长和恢复，诸如此类的好处。

It is a super convenient way to get more protein into your diet, lean muscle mass, muscle growth, recovery, all that stuff.

但最重要的是，它的味道简直棒极了。

But most of all, it just tastes phenomenal.

大多数纯净蛋白质口感不佳，但这个比任何其他产品都要好。

Most clean proteins do not taste good, and this is better than anything else.

它还获得了NSF和Informed Sports认证，这意味着即使是奥运选手也可以使用，且保证不含违禁物质。

It's also NSF and Informed Sports certified, meaning that even Olympic athletes can use it and is guaranteed to be free of banned substances.

最棒的是，有30天退款保证，所以你可以完全无风险地购买。

Best of all, there's a thirty day money back guarantee, so you can buy it completely risk free.

每天都要使用它。

Use it every single day.

这里面有多少份量？

How many servings is in this?

这里面有25份吗？

25 servings in this?

连续一个月每天使用它。

Use it every single day for a month.

如果你不喜欢，他们会直接退款给你。

If you don't like it, they'll just give you your money back.

他们就是如此确信你会爱上它。

That's how confident they are that you'll love it.

此外，他们还提供国际配送服务。

Plus, they ship internationally.

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And right now, you can get 35% off your first subscription and that thirty day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below by heading to livemomentous.com/modernwisdom using the code Modern Wisdom at checkout.

享受35%的折扣。

That's 35% off.

访问livemomentous.com/modernwisdom，结账时使用优惠码modernwisdom。

Livemomentous.com/modernwisdomandmodernwisdom at checkout.

身份焦虑某种程度上与此相关，你知道，就是这种需要被看见的心理。

Status anxiety kind of related to that, you know, this this need to be seen.

看看我。

Look at me.

你好。

Hello.

我在这里。

I'm here.

我之前提到过，因为我们正在一座教堂（或者说旧教堂）里录音，你可能会碰巧决定今天穿上你的飘逸长袍。

I I mentioned before because we are recording in a church or an old church at the moment that just by chance, you might have decided to wear your flowing robes today.

可惜没有。

Unfortunately not.

但那种需求，那种渴望——看看我。

But that need that desire, look at me.

看看我有多么特别。

Look at how special I am.

看看我有多出色。

Look at how impressive I am.

我认为，无论你多么开明，身份焦虑总是存在的。

Status anxiety is going to be there, I think, no matter how enlightened you are.

我希望感受到被需要、被尊重，并且被我钦佩的人所仰慕。

I I want to feel like I'm needed by the people and respected and admired by people I admire.

这可是个相当高的要求。

That's a pretty big one.

有没有什么好方法，或者说健康的方式来应对身份和身份焦虑呢？

Is there a good way to deal with is there a healthy way to sort of deal with status and status anxiety?

你提到教堂很有意思。

It's funny you mentioned churches.

我是说，宗教真正有帮助的地方在于它们往往会告诉信徒：有人真正了解他们、关心他们并关注着他们。

I mean, the the really helpful thing about religions is that they tend to tell their believers that someone really knows them and really cares about them and is looking at them.

如果你想想追求财富、名望和尊重的冲动，这实际上是一种被宗教所吸收的渴望。

And if you think about the impulse to be rich and famous and esteemed, it's really a desire that gets soaked up by religions.

宗教告诉每个人，比如基督教里说'你头上的每根头发都被数过'。

Religions are saying everybody, you know, in in in Christianity, every hair on your head is numbered.

换句话说，确实有人在注视着你。

In other words, someone's really looking at you.

有人了解你，就像一位好父母了解自己的孩子那样。

Someone knows you in the way that a parent, a good parent knows a child.

你知道吗？

You know?

在充满爱与关怀的家庭中度过童年最美好的事，就是孩子会成为超级明星。

The great thing about early childhood in a good and loving family is that child is a superstar.

你看，他们一出现就唱歌，大家鼓掌喝彩，他们开心得很。

You know, they come in, they sing a song, they they everyone claps, they're happy.

清晨时分，就像小王子驾临一般。

You know, in the morning, it's like the little prince has arrived.

而小公主呢，你瞧，正踮着脚尖旋转起舞呢。

The princess is, you know, doing a pirouette, etcetera.

这并不会让孩子变得骄纵。

That doesn't make a child entitled.

骄纵源于匮乏。

Entitlement comes from deprivation.

能够接纳平凡生活的能力，源自早期情感上的富足。

The ability to absorb an ordinary life comes from early emotional privilege.

如果孩子在幼年时能成为宇宙的中心，他们就能在成年后承受次要地位而不受太大心理创伤。

If if if the child is able to be the center of the universe in the early years, they will be able to accept without too much psychological damage, a subsidiary position in adult life.

那种总想占据中心、时刻彰显重要的需求，其实是一种补偿心理。

That the need to be always at the center and always important is a compensation.

这并非健康的标志。

It's not a sign of health.

因此，美好的童年与赋予孩子这种特殊感的能力相关——这样他们才能完成更重要的成长课题：甘于平凡，接受普通，这其实是项艰巨挑战。

And therefore, a good childhood is connected up with the ability to give your child that charge of specialness so that then they can go on to do that much more important thing, which is to be ordinary, to accept ordinariness, which is a massive challenge.

毕竟我们终将归于平凡，而这并没什么不好。

And all of us are in the end, ultimately, ordinary, and that's okay.

不要感到羞耻。

And to not feel shame.

不要感到羞耻。

And not feel shame.

是的。

Yeah.

并接受你能力有限的事实。

And to accept that there are limits on your power.

你将不得不面对死亡。

You will need to die.

你将接受自己生命的有限性。

You will accept your finitude.

我写了

I wrote

一篇关于羞耻感的小短文，想读给你听，可以吗？

a a little essay about shame I wanted to read to you, if that's okay.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我一直在思考简单快乐带来的羞耻感。

So I've been thinking about the shame of simple pleasures.

这是一位朋友的引述。

This is a quote from a friend.

我还没有智慧到能深刻享受简单事物的程度。

I have not yet grown wise enough to deeply enjoy simple things.

我们都是自己快乐的糟糕会计。

We are all terrible accountants of our own joy.

大多数人只有在交易足够大时才接受存款。

Most of us only accept deposits when the transaction is sufficiently large.

结婚那天，格拉斯顿伯里音乐节主舞台演出那晚，公司以1亿美元出售那一刻——任何比这小的快乐，甚至都进不了账本。

The day we get married, the night we play the main stage at Glastonbury, the moment the business sells for a $100,000,000, anything less, and the entry doesn't even make the ledger.

我们把小确幸当作假币般对待。

We treat small pleasures like counterfeit currency.

哦，那件事让你开心了一整天。

Oh, that thing made your day.

那个微小瞬间让你高兴了一周。

That small moment made your week.

多么可悲、多么绝望、你的人生该有多局限，才会被如此不起眼的事情所取悦。

How feeble, how desperate, how limited your life must be to be thrilled by something so unimpressive.

你肯定没什么正经事可忙。

You must not have a lot going on.

我们对那些让别人兴奋的微小事件翻白眼，仿佛快乐必须与规模成正比。

We roll our eyes at the tiny events that get others get excited at as though joy must be proportionate to scale.

然而，生活正是由这样的小事构成的。

And yet, life is made up of little things exactly like this.

不是偶尔，而是始终如此。

Not once in a while, but always.

你的人生由那些小到甚至无法被他人日历记录的时刻所构建。

Your life is constructed out of moments so small they wouldn't even register as an event on anyone's calendar.

那么为什么渺小的事物就不能成就伟大呢？

So why can't something small be something great?

有时候我会过度敏感地感受事物，包括对这种过度敏感本身感到羞愧。

Well, sometimes I feel things more deeply than I should do, including the shame at feeling things more deeply than I should do.

还有，为微小事物感到超乎预期的快乐时也会羞愧，仿佛享受点滴之乐暴露了我生活的狭隘。

Also, the shame of being delighted by little things more than I think I should, as if taking pleasure in something tiny reveals the smallness of my life.

但或许这想法完全本末倒置了。

But perhaps that's exactly backward.

也许生命的真正丰盛，在于你能从最贫瘠的土壤中收获多少欢愉。

Maybe the true richness of a life is how much joy you can harvest from the smallest possible patch of soil.

而这就是回报所在。

And here's the payoff.

当你降低快乐的阈值，你不仅会获得更多快乐，还能即刻拥有它。

When you lower the threshold for joy, you don't just get more of it, you get it now.

究竟谁更令人叹服？是那个需要宏伟教堂般的虚张声势和惊天动地成就才能获得一丝快感的人？

Who is truly the more impressive person, the one who requires a huge cathedral of bullshit, fanfare, and galactic accomplishments in order to get the slightest ficker of pleasure?

就像性派对上非要让汽车电池夹住乳头才能兴奋的受虐狂，还是只需一杯好咖啡和一阵清风就能满足的人？

Like some masochist at a sex party demanding car batteries get clamped onto his nipples before he can even get started, or the person who can do it with a good coffee and a fresh breeze.

说得太棒了。

Love it.

克里斯，这让我意识到我们对生活重心的判断多么容易受人左右。

I mean, Chris, what it makes me think that we're incredibly easily led in our sense of what matters in life.

我们实在是糟糕的——缺乏独立性的——意义评判者。

We're really bad judges, independent judges of significance.

所以如果有人指着墙上那幅画说，你知道的，那幅画非常昂贵。

So if somebody says, you know, that artwork on the wall, that's really expensive.

那幅画非常有名。

That's really famous.

它曾经属于某位国王或女王。

That used to belong to a king or a queen.

我们会想，哦，那可太棒了。

We think, oh, that's marvelous.

是啊。

Yeah.

而如果我们不知道画家是谁，艺术家是谁，或者画的是什么，我们就会觉得，哦，那肯定不怎么样。

And if we don't know who the painter was, who the artist was, or what it is, we think, oh, that can't be any good.

这简直有点可笑不是吗？我们在自主判断事物价值时，表现得多么盲从和愚蠢。

So it's almost comedic, isn't it, how how supine and dumb we are in deciding for ourselves, what matters.

你知道的，这种现象在文化领域很常见。

So, you know, you you do get this in in culture.

如果一本书获奖了，所有人都会觉得这本书很棒。

If a book wins a prize, everybody decides that book's amazing.

但在获奖之前，大家都觉得它很无聊。

But before it won the prize, everybody thought it was boring.

而且你知道的，书本身并没有改变。

And and, you know, the book hasn't changed.

我经常思考这个问题，因为我是个飞行爱好者。

I often think about this in terms I'm a great fan of flying.

我热爱飞行。

I love flying.

而且

And

我完全没想到你会这样。

I wouldn't have I wouldn't have guessed that about you.

太喜欢了。

Love love it.

而且我热爱这项技术。

And I love the technology.

我喜欢那些，你知道的，各种各样的东西，那种美感，那种美学。

I love the, you know, all sorts things, the beauty, aesthetic.

总之，我总被当今世界飞行所获得的极低声望所震惊，相比而言，比如说艺术。

Anyway, I'm always struck by the way in which flying has nowadays very low prestige in the world compared, let's say, to art.

所以如果你对别人说，我要去画廊看些画作。

So if you say to somebody, I'm going to a gallery, and I'm gonna look at some pictures.

人们会觉得，哦，那是件很高尚的事。

And I'm gonna go, oh, that's very, you know, noble thing to do.

但如果你说我要去乘飞机，在飞行中我要打开窗户，欣赏云朵，为之欣喜，为之惊叹。

If you say I'm gonna I'm gonna take a flight, and on the flight, I'm gonna open the window, and I'm gonna look at the clouds, and I'm gonna delight in them, and I'm gonna marvel at them.

我就会想，天啊。

And I'm thinking, oh my goodness.

这这比达芬奇或普桑的任何画作都要美妙。

This is this is better than any painting by Leonardo or Poussard or whatever.

这简直太引人注目了。

This is just this is striking.

对吧？

Right?

人们会觉得你小题大做。

People would think, you're making a big deal of it.

关上那扇窗，我正在看电影呢。

Shut that window, but I'm trying to watch a film.

所以望向窗外并不是什么值得炫耀的事。

So it's not that prestigious to look out the window.

而这只是我们多么不善于自行发现意义的一个小小例证。

And and that's just a tiny example of how bad we are at at finding significance by ourselves.

我认为这才是真正的创造力。

I think this is true creativity.

真正的创造力在于，你感到自己的快乐无论源自何处都是正当的。

True creativity is when you have a sense that your pleasure could be legitimate wherever it lies.

所以如果你恰好喜欢鹅卵石，那就去吧。

So if you happen to like pebbles, go for it.

你知道，那将成为你的快乐源泉。

You know, that's that's gonna be your pleasure.

或者如果你喜欢阳光照射在百叶窗或混凝土上的样子，那就会成为你的心头好。

Or if you like the way that sunlight hits, you know, a window blind or or concrete, that's gonna be that's gonna be the thing for you.

我认为小孩子在这方面更自然。

And I think it's that small children have it more naturally.

这就是为什么小孩子总能给大人带来欢乐。

That's what makes that's what makes small children delightful to adults.

你懂的。

You know how it is.

如果你带小孩去公园，那场面简直太搞笑了。

If you take a small child to a park, it's hilarious.

你甚至都走不到秋千那儿，因为他们半路就会停下来。

You can't even get to the swings because they would have stopped.

小孩可能会在墙边停下，或者总是注意到一些奇怪的东西，比如石头缝里的口香糖，然后盯着看个不停。

The child would have stopped maybe by a wall or they they always noticed, you know, a piece of chewing gum in in in a rock, and you think, and they'll be looking at it, whatever.

你会说：快点走啦。

You go, come on.

我们去玩秋千吧。

Let's go to the swing.

但他们根本不想去秋千那儿，因为他们发现了混凝土台面上长出的一簇草之类的东西。

And they don't wanna go to the swing because they've discovered a tuft of grass growing out of a concrete ledge or whatever it is.

他们是独立的意义裁决者。

They are independent arbiters of significance.

到了15岁，他们就会开始想：Drake喜欢什么？或者X在暗示我什么？

By 15, they're like, well, what did Drake like or what, you know, what's what's x telling me to

把审美判断外包给别人。

outsource their sense of taste.

没错。

Exactly.

这真是太乏味了。

And that's so tedious.

我是说，祝福他们吧。

I mean, bless them.

每个人都会这么做。

Everybody does it.

但理想情况下，当你完全成熟时，你会再次变得有点古怪。

But, ideally, by the time you get to full maturity, you become a bit weirder once more.

而这正是某些成年人特别讨人喜欢的原因。

And that's what makes certain adults really delightful.

他们会说，别人怎么想都无所谓。

They go, doesn't matter what everybody thinks.

对我来说，我喜欢这个东西。

For me, I'm liking this thing.

我有时会从娱乐的角度来考虑它。

I sometimes think about it in terms of entertaining.

我不知道你平时有多少娱乐活动。

I don't know how much entertaining you do.

当人们说，我要举办一个晚宴。

When people say, I'm gonna I'm gonna give a dinner party.

我要邀请一些朋友来吃晚饭。

I'm gonna invite some friends for dinner.

他们就会陷入混乱，想着该怎么安排这场晚宴？

They get into such a mess thinking, how am I gonna organize this dinner?

哦，我必须先来份开胃菜，可能是份蜜瓜，或者，我也不知道，可能是虾之类的。

And, oh, I must have a starter, and and maybe it's a melon, and or maybe it's, I don't know, prawns or something.

然后然后，或者我必须来份主菜，可能是鸡肉之类的。

And then and then or I must have this thing called a main course, which might be chicken or something.

接着他们或我又来了份甜点，诸如此类。

And and then they or I got a dessert, etcetera.

他们只是，你知道的，他们满心焦虑，诸如此类。

And they're just, you know, they're overflowing with anxiety, etcetera.

如果你问他们，你到底喜欢什么？

And if you are said to them, what do you actually enjoy?

你知道的，如果是晚餐时间，他们会怎么做？他们可能会说，嗯，我喜欢打开一罐金枪鱼，放在桌上，拿些鹰嘴豆泥蘸着吃，把脚翘起来，诸如此类。

What what you know, if it's supper time, what do and they might go, well, I like opening, you know, can of tuna, putting it on the table, getting some hummus, dipping that, putting my feet up, etcetera.

然后你想，好吧。

And you thought, okay.

你为什么不直接和朋友们这样吃呢？

Why don't you just do that with your mates?

为什么不干脆放下伪装？

Why don't you just just drop the pretense?

要有勇气相信，打动我的东西也可能打动别人。

Have the courage to think what's touching me might touch another person.

这样你的晚餐派对会更有趣。

And your dinner party is gonna be a lot more fun.

这当然最终是伟大艺术家们所做的事。

This is ultimately, of course, what great artists do.

伟大的艺术家有种直觉，他们认为对自己有趣且有意义的事物，即便当下鲜少被提及，终将对他人产生共鸣。

Great artists have a sense that what's fun for them, what's meaningful for them will probably be meaningful for other people even though right now, there's quite a lot of silence about that area.

因此他们怀着一种信念——这种信念我们之前讨论自尊时提到过。

So they're kind of they're taking they've got a faith that we started talking about self esteem.

他们相信能打动自己的事物，同样可能打动他人。

They got a faith that the things that turn them on are likely to turn other people on as well.

这是种美妙的自信，正是这种自信造就了伟大艺术。

And that's a beautiful confidence, and that's what leads to great art.

伟大艺术本质上是勇于为自己定义愉悦的勇气。

Great art is really the courage to define the pleasure for yourself.

这是爱默生说过的一句美妙的话。

It's a lovely quote from Emerson.

他说：'在天才的头脑中，我们找到被自己忽视的思想'。

He says, in the minds of geniuses, we find our own neglected thoughts.

'在天才的头脑中，我们找到被自己忽视的思想'。

In the minds of geniuses, we find our own neglected thoughts.

换言之，所谓的天才，他们的思想并非与常人完全不同。

In other words, geniuses, so called geniuses, don't have thoughts that are completely different from those of other people.

他们所做的，是将我们共有的思想赋予应有的意义——其中某些思想。

What they do is they take the thoughts that we all have and they give them the significance they deserve, some of them, some of those thoughts.

正因如此，当你读到一本真正伟大的书时，常会感叹：'哇'。

And so that's why when you pick up a really great book, often you think, wow.

'我一直这么想，却从未知道该如何表达'。

I've always thought that, but I've never known how to say it.

实际上我们的意思是，我从未有勇气认真对待那个想法，因为我缺乏自尊。

And really what we mean is I've never had the courage to give that thought its due because I'm lacking self esteem.

这是一种愚蠢的自我信念与叛逆精神的奇妙融合。

There is a it's a a really sort of wonderful blend between a boneheaded self belief, which is kind of rebellious.

感觉有点尖锐，不太像那样。

It feels a bit spiky, sort of a not that.

嗯。

Mhmm.

而更多是一种温暖舒适的感觉——我喜欢我所爱的，也喜欢这样爱着的自己。

And a much more sort of warm, cozy sensation, which is I like what I like, and I like myself for liking it.

嗯。

Mhmm.

这说得通吗？

Does that make sense?

这是对外界混乱的抗拒，也是对内在秩序结构的维护。

There is this the the rejection of entropy outside and this sort of containment of structure inside.

我立刻开始思考什么样的背景能让第二种版本成为可能。

And immediately, I'm thinking about the background that would have made the second version possible.

我想象着一位会说'去做你喜欢做的事吧'的家长。

I'm imagining a parent who says, do that thing that you that you like doing.

这样很好。

That's fine.

要知道，你可以有点古怪，在我们这里这不算奇怪。

You know, you can be slightly weird, and we we don't think that's weird here.

你可以用一种不那么脆弱的方式追求自己的快乐。

You can just pursue your own pleasure in a non brittle way.

你明白吗？

You know?

正如你所说，这是对你个性的一种温和认可。

And as you say, it's a it's a gentle acknowledgment of your individuality.

我们所在的地方有相当精美的彩绘玻璃艺术品？

We are in a place that's got some pretty wonderful is stained glass art?

那算是艺术课吗？

Is that class as art?

我想是的。

I'd imagine.

让我们对艺术的概念放得宽松些。

Let's let's play it really loose with the concept of art.

艺术就是任何能让我们兴奋的东西。

Art is anything that, you know, excites us.

它看起来很美。

It seems beautiful.

你经常谈论艺术。

You often talk about art.

在很多

In a lot

你的书里，有各种绘画、雕塑等作品的图片。

of your books, you have images of of of different paintings, of different sculptures, stuff like that.

人们如何才能更好地欣赏艺术？

How can people become better at appreciating art?

画廊里的新手们渴望能更深入地理解艺术。

The white belts at looking at a gallery, and they want to have a better appreciation of it.

他们总觉得自己错过了什么关键之处。

They feel like there's something that they're missing.

他们无法理解。

They don't understand.

他们不了解画家的生平背景，也不清楚创作时的境遇。

They don't know the story of where this painter came from and where they were at at that point in life.

有个观点是：人们常误以为要成为合格的艺术爱好者就必须喜欢所有作品。

Well, one thought is people tend to think, in order to be a decent person who likes art, I've gotta like everything.

觉得必须走进博物馆对每件展品都表现出陶醉。

I gotta go into a museum, and I gotta just delight in everything.

用音乐来类比想想看。

Think about it in music.

人们在音乐方面的态度比视觉艺术要理智得多。

People are much saner when it comes to music than it when it comes to visual arts.

人们对视觉艺术总是过分纠结。

People are really hung up on the visual arts.

我常说：应该借鉴对待音乐的态度。

And I always say, take your cue for music.

就像在音乐领域，你清楚自己喜欢什么，根本不在乎有大量其他作品无法打动你。

You know when you like something musically, and you don't care that there's loads and loads of other stuff that doesn't touch you.

你并不介意。

You don't mind.

你喜欢你所喜欢的。

You like what you like.

你制作自己的歌单。

You make your own playlist.

那就制作属于你的歌单，收录那些触动你的艺术家。

So make your own playlist of the of the artists that touch you.

它可能只占世界艺术产出的3%，也可能与任何著名名字无关。

And it might be 3% of the art that's produced by the world, and it might be not any of the famous names.

那些著名人物大体上是通过各种离奇方式被选中的，你要找到属于自己的方式去发现令你愉悦的事物。

The famous names are on the whole chosen by all sorts of bizarre ways and find your own way to things that delight you.

你要明白，要有勇气。

Be you know, have the courage.

还有，逛博物馆时不可能一口吃成胖子。

Also, when walking through a museum, you can't eat it all at once.

我是说，这些博物馆太奇怪了。

I mean, these museums are bizarre.

它们就像是千年历史的档案库，而你却要在一个下午的时间里看完并喜欢上所有东西。

They're like they're like archives of everything that's happened over a thousand years, and you're supposed to kind of spend an afternoon and like it all.

我们根本无法消化这么多。

It's just we can't absorb it.

我们无法代谢这些信息。

We can't metabolize it.

所以我总是这么想，你知道的，去博物馆吧。

And so I always think, you know, go to a museum.

看。

Look.

如果你发现两件理想中想顺走放家里的东西，那咱们就行动吧。

If you find two things that you'd like to ideally nick and put in your house, let's let's get going.

要非常个人化。

Be very personal.

人们在博物馆礼品店里表现得特别正常。

People are really normal in the museum gift shop.

你知道，当他们走进博物馆礼品店时，就会突然正经起来。

You know, when they get to the museum gift shop, they're like, right.

我该买哪些明信片呢？

What postcards shall I buy?

然后他们就觉得这才是热爱艺术的方式。

Then they're thinking that's the way to love art.

就像在纠结该给奶奶寄哪张贺卡。

It's like, what card should I send my granny?

这才是艺术鉴赏的开端。

That's the beginning of art appreciation.

因为这就像在问，我喜欢什么？

Because it's like, what do I like?

他们可能会喜欢什么？

What might they like?

放手去做吧。

Go for it.

嗯。

Mhmm.

其余的都是无稽之谈。

All the rest is nonsense.

你不必太过纠结。

You don't need to get caught up too much.

我想知道音乐之间的区别是什么。

I wonder what the difference is between music.

我完全同意。

I I completely agree.

对于音乐中我喜欢的东西，我的态度非常明确。

I'm very unequivocating about the stuff that I like in music.

然而，当我设想自己坐在一幅画前时，会偷偷左右张望，试图理解——哦，这看起来非常忧郁。

And yet, when I go and if I imagine myself sitting in front of a painting, sort of furtively be looking to either side to work out, oh, this seemed very melanchol.

这一定是忧郁的。

This must be a melanchol.

我必须保持庄重。

I must be somber.

我会保持庄重的。

I'll be somber.

这就是该有的方式。

This'll be that's the way to do it.

我在想，这种媒介究竟有什么特质，让它显得更难一些，更难以定义个人的品味。

And, I wonder what it is about the medium that makes it a little bit more difficult, a little bit more, hard to define your own taste.

有一个古希腊神话讲述了绘画的起源。

There's a there's an ancient Greek myth about the origins of painting.

据说有个牧羊少年爱上了一个牧羊少女，而少女即将远行。

There was apparently a shepherd boy who was in love with a shepherd girl, and the shepherd girl was gonna go away.

在分别前的最后一夜，他们在山洞里，洞壁上投映着少女的剪影。

And, that night on the last night together, they were in a cave and there was a shadow on the cave wall of the shepherd girl.

少年拿起一块粉笔，沿着少女身影的轮廓描摹下来。

And the shepherd boy took up a piece of chalk and traced the outline of the shepherd girl's form.

这就是艺术的起源——后来有许多画作描绘这个场景。

And that's supposed to be there are lots of paintings of this, the origin of of art.

换句话说，当珍贵之物即将消逝时，创作艺术的冲动便油然而生。

In other words, the impulse to make art comes when something precious is gonna vanish.

艺术可以被视为保存珍贵之物的容器。

An art could be thought of as a bucket in which you preserve something valuable.

我们需要艺术，因为我们无法仅凭双手留住一切。

And we need art because we can't hold it all in our own fingers.

我们无法全然吸纳。

We can't absorb it all.

于是我们将它托付给能够稳固保存的事物。

And so we outsource it to something that can stabilize it and hold it for us.

这就是按下快门的冲动。

That's the impulse to take a picture.

你知道吗，当你去一个美丽的地方时，你会觉得‘我喜欢这里’。

You know, when you go to a beautiful place and you go, I like it.

总有一种失去的恐惧，你会想‘我可能会失去它，所以我必须拍张照片’。

There's always a fear of loss, and you think I'm gonna lose it, so I must take a picture of it.

艺术中也是如此。

Same thing goes on in art.

因此，你热爱的艺术几乎总是蕴含着一点你真正的家园，那些可能悄然消逝的真实幸福。

And so the art that you love is almost always the the art that contains within it a bit of your true home, your true happiness that is in danger of slipping away.

这对每个人来说都是不同的。

And it's gonna be different for everybody.

我认为最有趣的问题之一是：为什么会被触动你的艺术所打动？

I think one of the most interesting questions is why are you touched by the art that touches you?

这往往是因为那件艺术捕捉到了人们未能牢牢把握的东西，他们需要将其保存下来。

And it tends to be because that art captures something that the person doesn't have enough of a secure hold on, and they need to preserve it.

比如，我喜欢宁静的艺术。

So for example, I love calm art.

你知道，我喜欢美丽的空旷空间、线条感、形式的庄重等等。

You know, I love beautiful empty spaces, linearity, dignity of form, etcetera.

我热爱这种艺术。

I love it.

我的生活是这样的吗？

Is my life like that?

不是。

No.

那不是我的住处。

That's not that's not where I live.

我生活在混乱中，但我热爱这种状态，因为那才是我真正的归宿。

I live in chaos, but I love that because that's my true home.

但我并不常在那里。

But I'm not there often enough.

所以它是个纪念品。

So it's a memento.

它在说：回到这个地方来吧。

It's saying, come back to this place.

那里才是你需要成为真实自我的所在。

That's where you need to be in order to be your true self.

好消息。

Good news.

AG1刚刚发布了他们的新一代配方。

AG one just released their next gen formula.

这是更先进的临床验证版本，正是我多年来每日饮用的产品。

It is a more advanced clinically backed version of the product that I've been drinking every day for years.

你依然可以保持一勺的仪式感，但现在配方更考究，口味更佳，并有四项临床试验作为支撑。

So you still get the same one scoop ritual, but now with an even more thoughtful formulation flavor and four clinical trials behind it.

自2010年以来，AG1不断进化，始终与最新研究同步改进。

AG1 has been evolving since 2010, continuously improving alongside the latest research.

而AG1新一代正是临床验证的成果，能帮助填补常见营养缺口并支持肠道健康，即使对饮食均衡的人群也有效。

And AG1 NextGen is the result clinically shown to help fill common nutrient gaps and support gut health even in people who already eat well.

一项研究中，它使肠道内的有益菌群增加了10倍。

In one study, it boosted healthy bacteria in the gut by 10 times.

如果你仍有疑虑，他们提供九十天无理由退款保证。

And if you're still unsure, they've got a ninety day money back guarantee.

所以你可以购买并试用三个月。

So you can buy it and try it for three months.

如果不满意，他们会全额退款。

If you don't like it, they'll give you money back.

现在通过点击下方描述中的链接或访问drinkag1.com/modernwisdom，你可以免费获得一年的维生素D3、K2以及五份AG1旅行装，外加九十天退款保证。

Right now, you can get a year's free supply of vitamin d three, k two, and five free a g one travel packs plus the ninety day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinkag1.com/modernwisdom.

网址是drinkag1.com/modernwisdom。

That's drinkag1.com/modernwisdom.

你刚才提到了混乱。

You mentioned chaos there.

你认为人类是否一直受困于让自己忙碌的需求，还是说这种‘拼命工作’文化如同YouTube文章让我们相信的那样，更多是现代特有的现象？

Do you think that humans have always been plagued by the need to keep themselves busy, or is this a as is hustle and grind culture as much of a modern phenomena as YouTube essays would have us believe?