本集简介

本周的家乡故事包括披着羊皮的狼与杰弗里·爱泼斯坦的偶遇。支持本播客,请通过此链接选购我们最新赞助商优惠活动:https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g。隐私信息请见omnystudio.com/listener。

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Speaker 0

完全正确。如果你一直在等待一个信号来实现拥有梦想汽车的愿望,现在就是最佳时机。现代汽车促销活动正在进行中,你可以以超值价格购得屡获殊荣的现代SUV系列,包括Kona、Tucson、Santa Fe和Palisade。或者看看他们的轿车,比如科技感十足的Elantra和他们迄今为止最先进的Sonata。

This is exactly right. If you've been waiting for a sign to finally get the car you've been dreaming about, this is it. The Hyundai getaway sales event is going on now. You can score a great deal on Hyundai's award winning lineup of SUVs, including the Kona, Tucson, Santa Fe, and Palisade. Or check out their sedans, like the technology packed Elantra and their most advanced Sonata yet.

Speaker 0

全电动车型IONIQ 5和IONIQ 6也参与本次活动。每辆新现代汽车都享有美国最佳保修服务——十年或十万英里动力总成有限保修。2025款车型还可享受三年或三万六千英里免费保养服务。详情请访问hyundaiusa.com或致电(562) 314-4603。

And the all electric IONIQ five and IONIQ six are part of the event too. Every new Hyundai is backed by America's best warranty. That's a ten year, 100,000 mile powertrain limited warranty. You also get three years or 36,000 miles of complimentary maintenance on all twenty twenty five models. Visit hyundaiusa.com or call (562) 314-4603 for more details.

Speaker 0

优惠截止日期2025年9月2日。再见。

Offers end 09/02/2025. Goodbye.

Speaker 1

你的宠物是你最好的朋友、心理治疗师和免费小助手。

Your pet is your best friend, your therapist, and your unpaid intern.

Speaker 2

所以不要只是喂食,要用希尔思宠物营养品为它们补充能量。

So don't just feed them, fuel them with Hill's Pet Nutrition.

Speaker 1

希尔思以科学为依托,全面支持狗狗和猫咪的身体健康。作为

Hill's is backed by science to support whole body health in dogs and cats. As a

Speaker 0

科学营养领域的领导者,希尔思有助于维持精瘦肌肉——这对宠物无论是撒欢奔跑、巡逻抓松鼠还是偶尔打翻东西都至关重要。希尔思科学营养让你能付出超越人类极限的爱。因为人力有时尽,所以有希尔思。

leader in science led nutrition, Hill's supports lean muscles, which are essential for everything your pet does, whether that's the zoomies, squirrel patrol, or occasionally knocking something over. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Because you're only human, there's Hill's.

Speaker 1

科学成就更多。访问hill'spet.com/iheart寻找合适食品。再见。说真的,如今要找到安全可靠又有效的补充剂太难了。

Science does more. Find the right food at hill'spet.com/iheart. Goodbye. Let's be real. Finding clean, trustworthy, and effective supplements these days is hard.

Speaker 1

但问题是。

But here's the thing.

Speaker 0

关爱身体本不该这么难。

Caring for your body shouldn't be that hard.

Speaker 1

这就是为什么我们要告诉大家

And that's why we're telling people

Speaker 0

关于Symbiotica。Symbiotica正以科学支持的纯净补充剂改变游戏规则。我订购了谷胱甘肽,它装在这些小包装里。你只需撕开顶部,像小学时的果汁盒那样喝掉它。

about Symbiotica. Symbiotica is changing the game with clean science backed supplements. I ordered the glutathione, and it comes in these little packets. And you just rip off the top and kinda drink it like a little juice box from grammar school.

Speaker 1

我见过你在开会时服用它们。

I've seen you in meetings taking them.

Speaker 0

你看到我这么做了。但我发誓,真的能感觉到区别。就像是,嘿,这是给你大脑的一点支持,这是给你心脏的一点支持。

You've seen me do it. But I swear to god, it's like, I can tell the difference. It is like, hey. Here's a little support for your brain. Here's a little support for your heart.

Speaker 0

这是给你神经系统的一点支持。太神奇了。

Here's a little support for your nervous system. It's amazing.

Speaker 1

访问symbiotica.com/myfavoritemurder可享8折优惠并免运费。

Visit symbiotica.com slash my favorite murder to get 20% off plus free shipping.

Speaker 0

网址是c y m b I o t I k a.com/myfavoritemurder,8折加免运费。再见。你好。欢迎来到《我最爱的谋杀》迷你集。

That's c y m b I o t I k a dot com slash my favorite murder for 20% off plus free shipping. Goodbye. Hello. And welcome To my favorite murder. Minisode.

Speaker 0

没错。就是那个我们读听众邮件的环节。

That's right. It's the one where we read your emails.

Speaker 1

我们现在就要开始了。又一次。又一次,现在开始。

And we're gonna do it now. Again. Again and now.

Speaker 0

要我开头吗?当然。我不会念邮件主题。好吧。这是个有趣的揭晓时刻。

Want me to start? Sure. I'm not gonna read you the subject. Okay. It's a fun reveal.

Speaker 0

好的。开头是这样的:你好,Karen、Georgia,还有宠物们。原来我童年的一部分时光是在一间阁楼里藏有尸体的公寓里度过的。

Okay. It starts out, hello, Karen, Georgia, and pets. So it turns out I spent part of my childhood in an apartment with a corpse in the attic.

Speaker 1

什么?好吧。开场就这么劲爆。

What? Okay. Starting strong.

Speaker 0

信里说,在开始之前,我需要声明我奶奶与此事毫无关联。这只是发生在她搬来之前居住的小型住宅区,并在她去世后才被揭露。这件事也让威尔士的一个前采矿小村庄Beddau(嗯,拼写是B-E-D-D-A-U)进入了公众视野。

So it says before we begin, I just need to say that my granny had nothing to do with this. It just happened at the small housing complex where she lived before she moved in, and it came to light after her death. It also brought the little ex mining village in Wales. I would pronounce it Beddau Mhmm. Because that's B E D D A U.

Speaker 0

嗯。然后括号里注明发音是Baythigh。

Mhmm. And then print it says in parentheses, pronounced Baythigh.

Speaker 1

当然了。不然谁会——

Of course. What how would you

Speaker 0

猜得到呢?如果说有什么地方需要‘按发音拼写’规则,那一定是威尔士。

have guessed that? If there's any place that needs a spell it like you say it, it's Wales.

Speaker 1

哦没错。Baythigh高中?Baythigh

Oh, yeah. Baythigh High School? Baythigh

Speaker 0

高中。Baythigh加油。这起案件让威尔士的Baythigh镇(嗯)受到了全世界的关注。好。

High School. Go Baythigh. This case brought the town of Baythide Mhmm. Wales to the attention of the whole world. K.

Speaker 0

我奶奶于2015年去世,她寡居后在那栋供老年人居住的四户联排公寓楼里住了十五年。她楼上的邻居是个叫Lee的年轻女性,据称她的丈夫在我奶奶搬来前就‘离开了’她。Lee在我奶奶生病时给予了很多帮助。所以当Lee罹患癌症病情危重时,我父母也伸出了援手,因为她没有家人——至少我们当时是这么以为的。她去世后,我母亲难以办理死亡登记,因为她的法定亲属仍登记为那个我们以为早在她生前就离开的丈夫。

My granny died back in 2015, and she'd been living in a council block of four flats for older people for fifteen years since being widowed. Her upstairs neighbor was a younger woman called Lee whose husband had, quote, left her before my granny moved in. Lee had been really helpful to my granny when she was ill. So when Lee became seriously ill with cancer, my mother and father helped her out as she didn't have a family or so we thought. When she died, my mother struggled to register her death because her next of kin was still listed as her husband who we all thought had left her before we knew her.

Speaker 0

快进到Lee葬礼一个月后,我母亲说:‘我们都听过Lee讲述的许多不同版本的故事,但只有上帝和Lee知道她真正的身世。’她说这话时带着最大的善意。接着信中写道:哦,多么具有预言性。我父亲告诉我警方在奶奶曾住处的公共花园里发现了一具尸体。我开玩笑问是不是Lee的丈夫,父亲只是点点头说母亲正在接受警方问询。

Fast forward to a month after Lee's funeral in which my mother said, we all heard so many different stories from Lee, but only God and Lee know who she really was. She was saying that in the best way possible. And then it says, oh, how prophetic. My dad told me that the police had found a body in the shared garden where my granny had lived. I jokingly asked if it was Lee's husband, and my dad just nodded and said that my mother was being interviewed by the police.

Speaker 0

天啊。她以为自己在搞笑。是啊。哦,是李的丈夫吗?对。

Oh my god. She thinks she's being funny. Yeah. Oh, is Lee's husband? Yeah.

Speaker 1

他其实...是的。别问那些你不想知道答案的问题。没错。你 你不

He's like Actually. Yes. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. Yeah. You You don't

Speaker 0

想听到肯定的答案。结果发现,在我奶奶1997年搬来的三年前,在一次和她丈夫李的争吵中,她用一只陶瓷青蛙砸中他的头部,导致他死亡。

want the affirmative answers to. Turns out that three years before my granny moved in in 1997, during a row with her husband, Lee hit him in the head with a ceramic frog and killed him.

Speaker 1

靠。

Damn.

Speaker 0

青蛙的形状完美契合了他头骨上的凹痕。然后她用塑料布把他包裹起来,藏进了阁楼。他的尸体在那里被化学物质自然木乃伊化,包裹层多达50层,包括塑料袋、防水布和屋顶塑料膜。

The shape of the frog perfectly matched the hole in his skull. She then wrapped him up in plastic and put him in the attic. He was chemically mummified there, and there were 50 layers of wrapping including plastic bags, tarps, and roofing plastic.

Speaker 1

等等。我们能倒回去吗?她保留了用来杀害丈夫的那只陶瓷青蛙。她肯定留着因为

Sorry. Can we go back? She kept the ceramic frog that she used to kill her husband. She must have because

Speaker 0

要么他们原本就有,要么就得买个复制品。对吧。好,继续。我是说,如果她杀了他 嗯。

they either had it or they had buy a replica. Right. Okay. Go on. Mean, if she killed him Yeah.

Speaker 0

然后她还说,

And then she's like,

Speaker 1

我超爱这只青蛙。

I really love this frog.

Speaker 0

没错。或者应该说:我超爱自己干的事。是啊。我是说 好吧。

Yep. Or I really love that I did this. Yeah. I mean Right. Okay.

Speaker 0

每当他开始发臭,她就再裹一层。他在那儿挂了十八年。哇。这期间她一直冒领着他的朝鲜战争抚恤金。好吧。

Anytime he started to smell, she added another layer. He was up there for eighteen years. Wow. She was still claiming his Korean War pension this whole time. Okay.

Speaker 0

事情是这样的。装着尸体的塑料包裹是在公共花园长椅下被发现的,发现者是搬进我奶奶公寓的女人——当时她正在清理花园角落想为李做个纪念。我们认为李是在搬运尸体到花园时摔断了腿,这才发现自己患了癌症将不久于人世,也由此我母亲开始照料她。所以本质上,这就是个精心设计的恐怖片剧本。

Here we go. The plastic package the body was in was found under a bench in a shared garden by the woman who moved into my granny's flat when she was clearing a corner of the garden to make a memorial for Lee. We think Lee broke her leg moving the body to the garden, and that's how she found out she had cancer and was dying and how my mother started caring for her. So, basically, this is a perfectly laid out horror movie.

Speaker 1

是啊。这种,怎么说呢,事后细思极恐的感觉。确实。

Yeah. The, like, thinking back ness of it all. Yeah.

Speaker 0

真庆幸我爸爸和叔叔当时太忙没帮她"从阁楼拿东西"。他们完全被卷入了这个女人的生活。天啊。最后只能说:保持性感,别帮奶奶的邻居搬可疑包裹。来自英国南威尔士的艾尔。

I'm so glad my dad and my uncle were too busy to help her, quote, get something from the attic when she asked. She they were enmeshed in this woman's life. My god. And then it just ends with stay sexy and don't help granny's neighbors move suspicious packages. Elle from South Wales, UK.

Speaker 0

哇。

Wow.

Speaker 1

你得想象——我一直这么认为——这世上至少有几十个人家里藏着不为人知的尸体。

You have to imagine, and I've always thought about this. There has to be at least a couple dozen people in the world who have unknown bodies in their place of residence.

Speaker 0

没错。对吧?绝对有。几十个。

Yes. Right? Absolutely. Couple.

Speaker 1

她确实。记得那个桶吗?熊溪?不,是那起在房子底下发现桶的案子。

She does. Remember the the barrel? Bear Creek? No. The one where they found a barrel under the house.

Speaker 0

哦对。在地下室。

Oh, yes. In the basement.

Speaker 1

是的是的。而且追溯了几任房主,结果发现是他杀了她。对,肯定还有类似的案子。

Yes. Yes. And, like, went back a few owners, and it turned out he had killed her. Yeah. Like, there's gotta be a few.

Speaker 0

肯定有的。

There's gotta be.

Speaker 1

这不是我的。

It's not mine.

Speaker 0

我以为你会说,肯定有人无意中帮助过杀手做过什么事。那也是。协助和教唆。是啊,世界上有太多这样的事情了。

I thought you were gonna say there's gotta be people out there who have helped a killer do something unknowingly. That too. Aided and abetted. Yeah. There's so many things out in the world.

Speaker 1

好的。我的故事叫披着羊皮的狼。嗨。我正在听第444期小故事,你们征集披着羊皮的狼的故事。

Okay. Mine is called wolf in sheep's clothing. Hi. I'm listening to minisode four forty four where you ask for wolf in sheep's clothing story.

Speaker 0

哦,好的。

Oh, okay.

Speaker 1

现在终于轮到我了。我和我的家人在2000年代的大部分时间,二月份,住在一个看似典型的小镇上。我对那些夏日的记忆很美好,当时我妈妈还是一名教师,她会躺在阳光下晒着,而我和弟弟会在公共泳池里游上几个小时。是的。晚上我们就在后门廊吃晚饭,然后打一场威浮球。不幸的是,这些比赛经常变成我爸爸和当时在场的其他人轮流击球,而我和弟弟则被派到篱笆另一边的邻居院子里等着接球。

And now my time has finally come. My family and I spent most of the aughts, February, says, in a seemingly quintessential small town, I have fond memories of summer days spent at the public pool where my mom, a teacher at the time, would bake in the sun while my brother and I swam for hours. Yes. The evenings were spent just eating dinner on the back porch followed by a game of wiffle ball. Unfortunately, these games often turned into my dad and whoever was over at the time taking turns batting while my brother and I were sent to wait in the neighbor's yard on the other side of the fence to catch the balls.

Speaker 1

作为一个刚学会不用T型架击球的八岁孩子,这简直是折磨,但我跑题了。有一次,我们的青年牧师来参加了这样一个传奇的夜晚。这很正常,因为我爸爸是我们教堂的牧师。那天我父母没有做饭,而是从当地店里点了鸡翅。吃到一半时,我抬头看了看我们的客人,看到这个男人,全大写字母,浑身都是鸡翅酱。

It was agonizing as an eight year old who just learned how to bat without a t, but I digress. On one occasion, our youth pastor came over for one of these legendary evenings. This was a normal occurrence as my dad was the pastor at our church. Rather than cook, my parents ordered wings from our local shop. About midway through our meal, I look up at our guest and see this man, all caps, covered in wing sauce.

Speaker 1

酱汁至少覆盖了他嘴巴周围两英寸的范围,还涂满了他的每一根手指,直到指关节。我记得当时被这个男人既着迷又吓坏了。这怎么可能发生?他不觉得难受吗?他的餐巾纸在哪里?

The sauce covered at least two inches around his mouth and coated every finger past his knuckles. I remember being mesmerized and horrified by this man. How could this happen? Didn't it bother him? Where was his napkin?

Speaker 1

这件事不知怎么触动了我八岁身体的神经,从那以后我再也不信任他了,这我完全理解。就像那些吃烧烤时弄得满身都是的人,我无法忍受自己那样。

Something about that struck a nerve in my eight year old body, and I never trusted him again, which I totally understand. Like, people who eat, like, barbecue and just get it everywhere, I couldn't live with myself.

Speaker 0

一个人那样做是一回事

It's one thing to do that by yourself

Speaker 1

是啊。

Yeah.

Speaker 0

独自在家看电视。但餐厅里那个八岁小孩说得一点没错。

At home watching TV alone. But, like, in a restaurant, that eight year old was exactly right.

Speaker 1

对啊。

Yeah.

Speaker 0

开玩笑吧?你那种'我根本不在乎别人'的态度

Like, are you kidding me? Where you're just like, I just don't care what people

Speaker 1

怎么想。时间快进到2018年,我和妈妈聊起这段荒唐往事时,她说:知道吗,你说不信任他这事很诡异——因为我们后来发现他确实在本地大学花钱嫖娼。没错,有天我妈在学校午餐桌上,听到实习老师们议论他如何花钱和她们的朋友发生关系。

think. Well, flash forward to 2018. I'm chatting with my mom about this absurd memory when she goes, you know, it's wild you mentioned not trusting him because we found out later that he was paying women for sex at the local college. That's right. One day, my mom was sitting at the lunch table at school, and some student teachers started talking about him and how he pays their friends for sex.

Speaker 1

不用说,他很快就被撤销青年牧师职务并送去接受治疗了。

Needless to say, he was quickly fired from his role as youth pastor and sent to therapy.

Speaker 0

我觉得他们应该把所有青年牧师都开除然后重新招人,因为我看到的全是这类负面新闻。

I feel like they should maybe just fire all the youth pastors and start with a clean slate because I can't they've just all I see are bad stories about this.

Speaker 1

凡是主动要求当牧师的男性都不行,这个职位必须给那些不想干的人。

And anyone who, like, any man who, like, asked to be pastor, no. It has to go to someone who doesn't wanna do it.

Speaker 0

这也太谦卑了。确实。

That's too humble. Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1

还有个惊人巧合:这个男人离开小镇后,那个戴面具的露阴癖就再没骚扰过年轻女性。天啊,我妈怀疑就是他干的。她猜对了。

Another crazy coincidence, our masked town flasher suddenly stopped terrorizing young women once this man left town. Oh, shit. My mom thinks it was him. She's correct. Yeah.

Speaker 1

爱你们俩。你们陪伴我度过了甲状腺癌,六年缓解期耶。还有我三个可爱又疯癫的孩子的出生。感谢你们所做的一切。保持性感,别相信那些吃相邋遢的人,

Love you both. You've been alongside me through thyroid cancer, six years in remission Yay. And the birth of my three wonderful insane children. Thank you for all you do. Stay sexy, and don't trust a messy wing eater,

Speaker 0

嗯。艾姆,你肯定拥有真正远见者的那种自信,就像小时候那样。对。我发现了镇上的变态。

Em. Em, you must have the kind of confidence of a person who's a true visionary, where you're just like, as a child Yeah. I spotted the town perv.

Speaker 1

你甚至没做什么刻薄的事。但这确实不是一个成年人该有的行为,而且是的。我怀疑。是的。

You're not even doing, like, anything mean. It's just like this is not an okay move for an adult, and Yes. I'm suspish. Yes.

Speaker 0

喜欢这感觉。氛围不对。氛围不对。是的。

Love it. The vibe is wrong. The vibe's wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 1

你喜欢大促销吗?

Do you love a good sale?

Speaker 0

你也讨厌走路吗?那就快来参加现代汽车限时促销活动吧。因为现在正是你入手心仪轿车或SUV的最佳时机。

Do you also hate walking? Then head over to the Hyundai getaway sales event going on now. Because now's the perfect time to finally get that car or SUV you've been thinking about.

Speaker 1

所以快去你附近的现代经销商那里,享受超值优惠吧。你可以抢购

So head down to your local Hyundai dealer and get away with some seriously huge savings. You can score

Speaker 0

现代获奖SUV系列的绝佳优惠,包括Kona、Tucson、Santa Fe和Palisade。或者看看他们的轿车,科技感十足的Elantra和他们最先进的Sonata。如果你正考虑转向无汽油生活,全电动IONIQ 5和IONIQ 6也参与本次活动。但这些优惠只是开始,因为现代还会在你提车后继续为你服务。每辆新现代都享有美国最佳保修。

a great deal on Hyundai's award winning lineup of SUVs, including the Kona, Tucson, Santa Fe, and Palisade. Or check out their sedans, the technology packed Elantra and their most advanced Sonata yet. And if you've been thinking about moving into a post gasoline lifestyle, the all electric IONIQ five and IONIQ six are part of the event too. But those savings are just the beginning because Hyundai also takes care of you after you drive off the lot. Every new Hyundai comes with America's best warranty.

Speaker 0

那是十年或十万英里的动力总成有限保修。

That's a ten year 100,000 mile powertrain limited warranty.

Speaker 1

所有2025款车型还享有三年或三万六千英里的免费保养。这些只是

You also three years or 36,000 miles of complimentary maintenance on all twenty twenty five models. These are just a few of

Speaker 0

现代汽车以多种方式为您保驾护航。

the many ways Hyundai has your back.

Speaker 1

因此,购买新车时,安心无忧是标配。

So peace of mind comes standard along with your new car.

Speaker 0

访问hyundaiusa.com或致电(562) 314-4603

Visit hyundaiusa.com or call (562) 314-4603

Speaker 1

获取更多详情。网址hyundaiusa.com或致电(562) 314-4603。

for more details. That's hyundaiusa.com or call (562) 314-4603.

Speaker 0

优惠截止日期2025年9月2日。

Offers end 09/02/2025.

Speaker 1

再见。金钱是感性的。它会让你感到压力、内疚、嫉妒,有时甚至有点失控。但如果

Goodbye. Money is emotional. It can make you stressed, guilty, jealous, and sometimes a little unhinged. But what if

Speaker 0

它能让你感到充满希望呢?这就是橡果的理念。通过橡果,轻松养成健康的理财习惯。橡果是

it made you feel hopeful? That's the idea behind Acorns. With Acorns, it's easy to make healthy money habits. Acorns is

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一款财务健康应用,帮助您为未来投资,为明天储蓄,

the financial wellness app that helps you invest for your future, save for tomorrow, and

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并更明智地消费今日。橡果让您轻松开始更高效地管理资金。实际上,您只需用零钱就能开始自动投资。无需

spend smarter today. Acorns makes it easy to start doing more with your money. In fact, you can start automatically investing with just your spare change. You don't need to

Speaker 1

成为金融专家。橡果助您

be a finance whiz. Acorns puts your

Speaker 0

将资金投入专家构建的投资组合,确保您明智而非盲目地投资。此外,橡果还能支持您实现人生财务目标——无论是购置新车、首套房产、为孩子投资教育基金,还是为退休储蓄等等。立即注册,橡果将为您的新账户提供5美元奖励投资。加入已通过橡果平台累计储蓄和投资超过250亿美元、超1400万终身用户的行列。

money into expert built portfolio to make sure you're investing wisely, not wildly. Plus, Acorns can support your money goals in life. A new car, a first home, investing for your kids, saving up for retirement, and so much more. Sign up now, and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment. Join the over 14,000,000 all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25,000,000,000 with Acorns.

Speaker 0

请访问acorns.com/mfm

Head to acorns.com/mfm

Speaker 1

或下载橡果应用即可开始。

or download the Acorns app to get started.

Speaker 0

非客户代言有偿推广为正面宣传橡果提供激励。二级补偿已提供。投资存在风险。橡果顾问有限责任公司是美国证券交易委员会注册投资顾问。重要披露信息详见acorns.com/mfm。

Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier two compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC, an SEC registered investment adviser. View important disclosures at acorns.com/mfm.

Speaker 0

再见。好吧。这封邮件的主题行是'两个托尼的故事'。邮件开头写着:嗨,我要讲个关于巧合中的巧合的故事。

Goodbye. Okay. This one's the subject line of this email is a tale of two Tonys. It says, hi there. So I've got a story about the coincidence of coincidences.

Speaker 0

九十年代某年,我妈妈需要修车——这在那时似乎很常见。是啊,还记得当年车子总出故障,你得经常跑修理厂的年代吗?没错。

Years ago in the nineties, my mom needed her car worked on, which seems like the norm for that time. Yeah. Remember back when cars broke down and you had to take them to the mechanic all the time? Yeah.

Speaker 1

而且你会有个固定机修工,你们还是朋友关系。

And you had your mechanic and you were his friend.

Speaker 0

对。我阿姨给她推荐了位叫托尼的家庭友人,他在自家车库做机修。这在当时也很普遍——去私人家里修车总能省钱。嗯哼。

Yeah. My auntie referred her to a family friend who happened to be a mechanic named Tony and who worked out of his garage. This also seemed like the norm for the time where you always saved money on car repairs by going to someone's home. Yep. Mhmm.

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我爸朋友杜克的儿子给我们修车好多年。真厉害。总之不知为何,我妈通过电话簿查托尼地址,而我阿姨负责预约送修。重申下这是九十年代,我不确定当时人们是否对信息更谨慎,可能我阿姨让她自己查电话簿找地址。结果到那天,我们——我30岁的妈妈带着两个小孩——去了托尼家。

My dad's friend, Duke's son, fixed our car for years. Amazing. Anyhoo, for whatever reason, my mom used the phone book to get Tony's address while my auntie set up the appointment to drop the car off. Again, this was the nineties, so I don't remember if people were just way more discreet with information, but my auntie likely referred her to the phone book for his address. Welp, the time came, and we, my 30 year old mom and her two young children, went to Tony's house.

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起初一切正常,直到一小时变成四小时,我们还在等我阿姨来接。妈妈用托尼的座机打了好几次电话,留言越来越焦急。当我阿姨终于接电话时,她惊慌失措地问我们到底在哪,说我们几小时前就该到托尼家了。困惑的妈妈表示我们就在托尼家,然而...并不是。

Nothing was amiss until one hour turned into four hours later, and we were still waiting for my auntie to pick us up. My mom tried calling multiple times using Tony's landline and left increasingly desperate messages. When my auntie finally answered, she was frantic and asked where the hell we were and that we were supposed to be at Tony's house hours ago. Confused, my mom told her that we were at Tony's house, but no. No.

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不,我们没有,因为她当时在托尼家。我们在《记忆碎片》这部电影还没问世前就经历了一次记忆碎片式的时刻,兜着圈子拼凑线索。显然,我们意外触发了矩阵的漏洞——没错,就是同时存在两个同名同姓、都在家修车的托尼。

No. We weren't because she was at Tony's house. We had a memento moment before memento was even a thing and went in circles putting the pieces together. Apparently, we stumbled upon a glitch in the matrix Yes. Where two Tony's existed with the same exact name and who work on cars from their homes.

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太疯狂了。我妈妈从未和这个冒牌托尼说过话,电话簿里也查不到他是修车工的任何记录。但当我们开着那辆破车出现时,他和家人二话不说就把我们迎进了屋。

That's wild. Now my mom had never spoken to this impostor Tony nor was there any indication that he was a mechanic in the phone book. But when we showed up with our broke ass car, he and his family welcomed us into their house with no questions asked.

Speaker 1

真暖心。好吧,肯定有人

Love it. Okay. Someone must

Speaker 0

默许了这事。他们让我们和他们的狗玩了四个小时,还保证会修好我们的车。

have agreed to this. They let us play with their dog for four hours and assured us the car would be fixed.

Speaker 1

多么...多么可爱的一家人啊。

What a what a lovely family.

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是啊。当真相大白时,大家都笑坏了,而冒牌托尼坚持要帮我们修车。

I know. When all was finally revealed, everyone had a good laugh, and impostor Tony insisted on repairing our car.

Speaker 1

天啊。

Oh my god.

Speaker 0

他仍然想帮忙修。

He still wanted to do it.

Speaker 1

而且他还真会修。

And he knew how.

Speaker 0

对,没错。谢天谢地。回想起来,我们运气真好,结局比任何人想象的都完美。我是说,往好了想,托尼可能只是个普通路人,完全不明白我们为何会出现在他家。

Yeah. Exactly. Thank god. Thinking back, we got very lucky that it worked out better than anyone could have imagined. I mean, at best, Tony could've just been a regular schmo who had no idea what the hell we were doing at his house.

Speaker 0

没错。最糟的情况下,他可能是个等着无辜家庭上门的杀人犯。对,史上最懒的杀人犯,连作案都懒得——

Yep. And at worst, he could have been a murderer waiting for an unsuspecting family to come along. Yeah. The laziest murderer ever to

Speaker 1

等有人来了我会处理的。

When someone gets here, I'll take care of it.

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是啊。但在那之前,我就先...嗯。

Yeah. But until that time, I'm just gonna Yeah.

Speaker 1

这懒汉六辆车。这个懒鬼啥也不干——

This lazy six cars. This lazy boy isn't doing

Speaker 0

我的事。对。我经常想象——万一冒牌托尼和他家人觉得我们才是伪装成需要修车的可怜家庭的杀人狂呢?就像那些颠倒的童话故事,我们编造'马上有人来接我们'的谎言,折磨了这个可怜家庭四个小时。

my thing. Yeah. Or and I imagine this often. What if impostor Tony and his family thought we were the crazed murderers masquerading as a humble family in need of car repairs? It's like one of those upside down fairy tales where we terrorize this poor family for four hours with our lies of someone is coming to pick us up.

Speaker 0

再等十分钟就好。结果几小时过去了。太尴尬了。我整个童年都是这么过的——去别人家做客,他们说'我们要吃晚饭了'。

It will be just another ten minutes. Hours. It's so embarrassing. Yeah. That's how I lived my entire childhood of being at someone's house, and they're like, well, we're starting dinner.

Speaker 0

你可以坐在客厅里——

You can sit in the living room if

Speaker 1

如果你想的话。因为你妈妈还没来。对,对。

you want to. Because your mom's not here yet. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 0

他们很快就到。可怜人只是想安安静静吃个晚饭继续生活。这就是整个故事。九十年代通讯不发达造就的一连串疯狂巧合吧。谁知道呢?

They'll be here soon. Poor things just wanted to sit down to dinner and get on with their lives. That's the story. Just a crazy set of coincidences fostered by the lack of communication in the nineties, I guess. Who the fuck knows?

Speaker 0

爱你们,等不及要在丹佛见面了。SSD GM,卡里斯。耶。我知道。这是我们第一次收到'等不及要见你'这种——

Love you guys, and can't wait to see you when you come to Denver. SSD GM, Caris. Yay. I know. That's the first can't wait to see you that we've gotten in an

Speaker 1

邮件。真激动。好的。《二战偷渡小狗与阁楼珍宝》,这封标题是:大家好。

email. Exciting. Okay. World War two puppy stowaways and attic treasures, this one's called. Hi, all.

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长期听众,首次来信。首先感谢你们陪我度过疫情。作为医护人员,虽然不在前线,我每天上班都祈祷免疫力低下的病患能活下来,拼命说服他们戴

Longtime listener, first time writer. First, thank you for getting me through the pandemic. I'm a health care worker, and while not on the front lines, I went to work every day hoping my immunocompromised patients would survive and desperately trying to convince them to wear

Speaker 0

口罩。抱歉,这怎么不算前线?你就在那里啊。不一定非要在急诊室才算。

a mask. Sorry. How is that not being on the front lines? You don't you're there. You don't have to be in the emergency room.

Speaker 0

对。继续

Right. Go

Speaker 1

说吧。MFM曾是我能持续获得欢笑与共鸣的地方。非常感谢。哦,真暖心。我听了第486期关于二战英雄狗约克犬Smokey的节目,你们当时好奇人们参战时是否偷带宠物。

ahead. MFM was a consistent place I could go to laugh and commiserate. Thank you so much. Oh, that's nice. I've listened to episode four eighty six about Smokey the Yorkie World War two hero dog where you wondered if people snuck pets when they went to war.

Speaker 1

我们也好奇过。

We wondered that.

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知道吗?我就爱在讲故事时穿插些猜测。

You know? I love to just throw in some conjecture when you're trying to tell a story.

Speaker 1

是啊。这是我的角色。简短回答是肯定的。太棒了。详细答案是:2014年外公去世后,我们整理了妈妈的娘家房子。

Yeah. It's my part. And the short answer is yes. Yay. The long answer is in 2014, after my grandpa passed, we went through my mom's family home.

Speaker 1

在阁楼发现了成箱杂志、剪报、照片、军营文件等记录外公二战军旅生涯的遗物,包括他从入伍训练到太平洋战区直至驻日期间写给外婆的500多封信。整整500封。他虽不满被征召,但尽力而为并保持了幽默感。这些信风趣尖刻,有时令人心碎,但结尾永远是对外婆的爱与忠诚。

And in the attic, we found boxes of magazines, clippings, photos, camp papers, and other artifacts spanning my grandpa's military service in World War two. This includes over 500 letters he wrote to my grandma from induction and training to the Pacific Theater and finally occupied Japan. It's 500. He was salty about being drafted, but he did the best he could and managed to keep his sense of humor. The letters are funny, sarcastic, sometimes devastating, but always end with his love and devotion to my grandma.

Speaker 1

整理时我发现一张照片,有人偷带小狗登上了前往太平洋的船。我想最终他们能怎样呢?没什么比小狗更能提振士气了。他们就带着小狗上了战场。乘船奔赴战场。

While going through it all, I found a photo of someone who had snuck a puppy in a boat going to the Pacific. I guess, ultimately, what were they going to do about it? Nothing like a puppy to boost morale. They just brought a puppy on Into war. Into war on a ship.

Speaker 1

他们还带着一支经批准的团吉祥物——一只叫墨菲的狗,以及师吉祥物——一只活生生的、全大写字母的山猫。什么?是的。什么?名叫塔菲。

They also traveled with a sanctioned regiment mascot, a dog named Murphy, and a division mascot, a live, all caps, bobcat. What? Yes. What? Named Tuffy.

Speaker 1

这名字不错。

That's a good name.

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我们的第二只狗。我们曾有一只叫穆格西的狗生了一只小狗,我们给小狗取名塔菲。

Our second dog. We had a dog named Muggsy who had a puppy, and we named the puppy Tuffy.

Speaker 1

什么?我从没听说过塔菲。太搞笑了。他们是第八十一步兵师野猫队。但这并不能成为理由。

What? I've never heard of Tuffy. That's so funny. They were the eighty first infantry division wildcats. That doesn't excuse anything.

Speaker 0

你怎么训练甚至稍微控制?

How do you train or even slightly control?

Speaker 1

这家伙好像在说,能把我放回野外吗,求你了?

This guy's like, can you put me back in the wild, please?

Speaker 0

我不想参战。

I don't wanna be in war.

Speaker 1

也不想去动物园,那是最糟糕的,但

Don't wanna at the zoo at the, like, worst, but

Speaker 0

别在这儿。

not here.

Speaker 1

具体来说。吉祥物应该是图案,而不是真实的。然后它说,哦,这就是四十年代的风气。

Specific. Like, mascots are supposed to be drawings, not actual. And then it says, oh, the forties of it all.

Speaker 0

是啊。

Yeah.

Speaker 1

没错。哦,顺便打个广告。我和我的朋友卡森——也是个MFM节目的忠实粉丝——决定在播客上朗读这些信件。节目叫《给娜娜的500封信》,2025年8月开播。挺有意思的。

That's right. Oh, shameless plug. My friend Carson, also a big MFM fan, and I have decided to read the letters on a podcast. It's called 500 letters to Nana, and it will start August 2025. Cute.

Speaker 1

对。我们一边推进这个项目,一边互相调侃说'比你更傻的人有的是'。还要感谢乔治的娜娜。啊。是的。

Yeah. We keep saying to each other, bigger idiots than you, as we press forward with this project. Also, thanks to George's Nana. Aw. Yeah.

Speaker 1

再次感谢你在我低落的日子里让我振作起来。向你和所有鼓舞士气的小宠物们送上爱意,凯蒂。太棒了。《给娜娜的500封信》。去收听吧,我们会支持你们当地的谋杀迷。

Thanks again for snapping me out of it on some dark days. Love to you and all your morale boosting pets, Katie. Hell yeah. 500 letters to Nana. Go listen to and we'll support your local murderino.

Speaker 0

我觉得这个主意太棒了。我很想听听那些信。

I think that's such a great idea. I would love to hear those letters.

Speaker 1

绝对的。太令人兴奋了。真的很棒。他们将要

Totally. That's so exciting. That's really awesome. They're gonna

Speaker 0

也做一个持续十年的播客。系好安全带迎接乐趣吧。在他们搞清楚怎么结束那场该死的战争之前,你们不能停播。我知道的。肯定会继续的。

be doing a podcast for ten years too. Buckle the fuck The fun. You can't end that podcast before they find out how they get out of that fucking war. I know. It's gonna happen.

Speaker 1

你喜欢大促销吗?

Do you love a good sale?

Speaker 0

你也讨厌走路吗?那就快来参加现代汽车限时促销活动吧。现在正是你最终入手那辆心心念念的轿车或SUV的最佳时机。

Do you also hate walking? Then head over to the Hyundai getaway sales event going on now. Because now is the perfect time to finally get that car or SUV you've been thinking about.

Speaker 1

所以赶快去你附近的现代汽车经销商那里,享受超值优惠吧。

So head down to your local Hyundai dealer and get away with some seriously huge savings.

Speaker 0

您可以以超值优惠拥有现代汽车屡获殊荣的SUV系列,包括Kona、Tucson、Santa Fe和Palisade。或者体验他们的轿车——科技感十足的伊兰特和迄今最先进的索纳塔。若您正考虑转向无汽油生活方式,全电动车型IONIQ 5和IONIQ 6也参与本次活动。但这些优惠仅是开始,因为现代汽车在您提车后仍持续提供保障。每辆新现代汽车都享有美国最佳保修服务。

You can score a great deal on Hyundai's award winning lineup of SUVs, including the Kona, Tucson, Santa Fe, and Palisade. Or check out their sedans, the technology packed Elantra and their most advanced Sonata yet. And if you've been thinking about moving into a post gasoline lifestyle, the all electric IONIQ five and IONIQ six are part of the event too. But those savings are just the beginning because Hyundai also takes care of you after you drive off the lot. Every new Hyundai comes with America's best warranty.

Speaker 0

即十年或10万英里动力总成有限保修。

That's a ten year, 100,000 mile powertrain limited warranty.

Speaker 1

所有2025款车型还可享受三年或3.6万英里免费保养服务。这些只是现代汽车

You also get three years or 36,000 miles of complimentary maintenance on all twenty twenty five models. These are just a few of

Speaker 0

全方位保障的冰山一角。

the many ways Hyundai has your back.

Speaker 1

因此,安心无忧与您的新车相伴而生。

So peace of mind comes standard along with your new car.

Speaker 0

详情请访问hyundaiusa.com或致电(562) 314-4603。

Visit hyundaiusa.com or call (562) 314-4603 for more details.

Speaker 1

网址hyundaiusa.com或致电(562) 314-4603。

That's hyundaiusa.com or call (562) 314-4603.

Speaker 0

优惠截止2025年9月2日。再见。您的

Offers end 09/02/2025. Goodbye. Your

Speaker 1

宠物是您最好的朋友、心理治疗师和免费小助手。

pet is your best friend, your therapist, and your unpaid intern.

Speaker 2

所以不要只是喂食,要用希尔思宠物营养品为它们注入能量。

So don't just feed them, fuel them with Hill's Pet Nutrition.

Speaker 1

希尔斯以科学为后盾,支持狗狗和猫咪的全身健康。作为

Hill's is backed by science to support whole body health in dogs and cats. As a leader in

Speaker 0

科学引领营养领域的领导者,希尔斯支持维持精瘦肌肉,这对宠物的一切活动都至关重要,无论是狂奔、松鼠巡逻,还是偶尔打翻东西。希尔斯的科学营养帮助您给予超越人类极限的爱。因为您只是凡人,所以有希尔斯。

science led nutrition, Hill's supports lean muscles, which are essential for everything your pet does, whether that's the zoomies, squirrel patrol, or occasionally knocking something over. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Because you're only human, there's Hills.

Speaker 1

科学能做更多。在hillspet.com/iheart找到合适的食物。再见。好的。

Science does more. Find the right food at hillspet.com/iheart. Goodbye. Okay.

Speaker 0

当我读到这封邮件时,我觉得这可能是人们主动联系我们并提供信息、分享个人故事的最佳时机了。

This when I read this email, I was like, this might be it in terms of people reaching out and giving us some information, telling us their own personal story.

Speaker 1

比蜗牛吃青豆还好吗?

Better than a snail eating green beans?

Speaker 0

我是说,这完全取决于你如何衡量自己的生活。当然。这封邮件的主题是‘可疑客户’。嘿,伙计们。也可能是‘嘿,各位’。

I mean, it's just it's all the scale of how you live your life. Sure. The subject line of this is a fishy client. Hey, you guys. It could be, hey, you guys.

Speaker 0

是啊。也许吧。好多‘S’音。嗯。我在听完凯伦描述她父亲如何费力维护鱼缸后写信来的。

Yeah. Maybe. Lot of s's. Mhmm. I'm writing in after hearing Karen describe how her dad had a fish tank that took way too much effort to care for.

Speaker 0

结果发现这就是我的全部。我是Aquarion的水产养殖馆长。什么?哇哦。厉害了。

Turns out that's my whole thing. I am the curator of aquatic husbandry at the Aquarion. What? Wow. Huge.

Speaker 0

没错。我有着鲨鱼驯养师、水母繁殖员和章鱼玩伴的传奇职业生涯。什么鬼?好吧。爱死你们了。

Yeah. I've had a storied career as a shark wrangler, jellyfish breeder, and octopus playmate. What the fuck? Alrighty. Love you so much.

Speaker 0

多么精彩的人生啊。我小时候常说想当海洋生物学家,因为听起来概念很有趣。

What a life to live. I used to say I wanted to be a marine biologist because it sounded conceptually interesting as a child.

Speaker 1

你得跟一只该死的章鱼玩。或者驯服一条鲨鱼。我的天啊。好吧。

You gotta play with a fucking octopus. Or wrangle a shark. Oh my god. Okay.

Speaker 0

但这些并不是我要讲的故事。我要告诉你的是我在维尔京群岛生活时的一份副业——为各种企业的鱼缸做维护。我也很喜欢那份工作。其中一家客户是金融公司,起初我还因为多收了他们钱感到内疚,直到我低头看见客户桌上放着一顶棒球帽,上面印着“小圣詹姆斯岛”——当地人称之为‘恋童癖岛’。

But those aren't the stories I'm here to tell you. I'm here to tell you about one of my side hustles when I was living in the Virgin Islands taking care of fish tanks at various businesses. Love that too. One of which was in a financial office where I initially felt bad about overcharging them. That is until I looked down at a baseball hat sitting on the desk of my client, and it read Little Saint James, an island otherwise known by the locals as Pedophile Island.

Speaker 0

不。对。准备好了吗?我最初想,哪个正常人会戴一顶炫耀自己去过那个岛的帽子?然后当我盯着墙上贴满的年轻女孩巨幅肖像时——我原以为那是客户的女儿们——真相如浪潮般击中了我。

No. Yeah. Ready? I first thought, who in their right mind would have a hat bragging about visiting that island? Then it hit me like a wave as I stared at the giant portraits plastering the walls of young girls that I'd assumed were my client's daughters.

Speaker 0

我正站在杰弗里·爱泼斯坦的真实办公室里。

I was standing in Jeffrey Epstein's actual office.

Speaker 1

我们要...我们要...我们没法...我简直...这太疯狂了。

We're gonna we're we're gonna get we can't I'm so this is insane.

Speaker 0

对吧?对吧?没错。这就是我一直在等的邮件类型。该死。

Right? Right? Yeah. This is the kind of email I've been waiting for. Shit.

Speaker 0

现在我要在这里直接打断一下,听众们,听着。我们无法核实邮件真实性。

Now I'm gonna just break right here right now, listener, and say, hey. We can't verify our emails.

Speaker 1

对。我们也不核实。听起来挺可信的。总得有人清理商业人士的鱼缸。而且

Right. Nor do we. It sounds legit. Someone's gotta clean the fish tank of people's business. And

Speaker 0

整个迷你缝合概念里存在很大的信任因素

There's a large trust factor in the whole mini sewed concept

Speaker 1

是的。

Yes.

Speaker 0

其实没有理由不信任别人,对吧?通常我们多少能察觉出某人是否在编故事。我相信了他们。那时我开始注意到大楼里的古怪细节,比如哪些地方有摄像头、哪些没有,还有他的办公室能从内外两侧上锁。

Which there's really no reason not to trust people. Right. Usually, we can kinda suss out if someone sounds like they're making up a story. I believe them. That's when I started to notice the odd details about the building, like where there were and weren't cameras and that his office locked from both the inside and the outside.

Speaker 1

是啊。嗯哼。

Yeah. Mhmm.

Speaker 0

这些细节日常中我们常常忽略。确实。但我们本该注意的。突然间多收他钱似乎不是个坏主意,因为去他妈的。嗯哼。

These are details that sometimes we don't notice in the day to day. Yeah. But we should. Suddenly overcharging him didn't seem like such a bad idea because fuck that guy. Uh-huh.

Speaker 0

那之后,每当我来清洗鱼缸而老板在场时,我总是改天再来。

After that, whenever I came in to clean the fish tank and the boss was in, I always opted to come back a different day.

Speaker 1

天啊。

Holy shit.

Speaker 0

最后,当他被捕时,我的服务就不再被需要了。是的,我们确实乘船去看了FBI突袭恋童癖岛。如果这些属实,这人就是第一手见证者。对。在这些所谓的指控中。没错。他们是第一人称目击者。是的。

In the end, my services were no longer required when he was arrested. And, yes, we did take a boat out there to watch the FBI raid Pedophile Island. This person is a firsthand if they are true Yeah. In these alleged claims Yeah. They're a first person witness Yeah.

Speaker 0

关于所有那些破事。

To all of that shit.

Speaker 1

太疯狂了。

This is wild.

Speaker 0

主要是我想验证那个传闻——他是否真有个真牛大小的雕像,还得雇人偶尔在岛上挪动。总之他们没确认。希望这段能被读到,祝大家有个「鳍」妙好日子。女孩可以做梦,保持性感,永远搞清楚你在为谁工作。

Mostly, I wanted to see if the rumor was true that he had a life-sized statue of a cow, which was someone's job to move around the island occasionally. Anyway, they don't don't they don't confirm it. Anyway, I hope this gets read that y'all are having a fin tastic day. A girl can dream, stay sexy, always figure out who you're working for.

Speaker 1

最好的祝愿,卡罗琳。卡罗琳,我们得马上聚聚。我是说...整段时间我都在想,这让我怎么接话?怎么接?我还有件事要说。

Best fishes, Caroline. Caroline, let's hang out immediately. I mean And how am I the whole time I was like, how do I follow this? How do I follow this? I have one more.

Speaker 1

我能理解这个。我知道。你能感受到我对你的感觉吗?

I can follow this. I know. Do you feel that to me?

Speaker 0

卡罗琳给我们带来了,像是,热门突发新闻。对。全球重大八卦。没错。所以它没错。这完全是另一回事。

Caroline brought us, like, hot breaking Yeah. Major worldwide news goss. Right. So it Right. It's just a different thing.

Speaker 1

太疯狂了。太棒了。孩子们要留在学校成为海洋生物学家。没错。我不会给你念标题的。

Wild. Amazing. Kids stay in school and become a marine biologist. That's right. I'm not gonna read you the title.

Speaker 1

你好,乔治亚、凯伦,以及所有MFM的毛茸茸的朋友和家人。你们的播客多年来给我带来了很多快乐,所以我要以一个大大的感谢开始这个故事。你们让地铁通勤、长途汽车旅行、飞机旅程和遛狗都变得可以忍受。好了。故事开始于我的家乡,加拿大安大略省的布莱茨格罗夫。

Hello, Georgia, Karen, and all the MFM furry friends and family. Your podcast has brought me so much joy over the years, so I'll start this story off with a big thank you. You've made subway rides, long car trips, plane rides, and dog walks all bearable. Okay. So the story begins in my hometown of Brights Grove, Ontario, Canada.

Speaker 1

听说过吗?我想没有。布莱茨格罗夫。我当时15或16岁,刚读完高中十或十一年级。我不记得/不会算数,需要自己的收入来供应自己大量的香草和柠檬味伏特加。

Ever heard of it? I didn't think so. Brights Grove. I was 15 or 16 years old, just finishing my tenth or eleventh year of high school. I don't remember slash can't do the math, and needed my own income to supply myself with copious amounts of vanilla and lemon flavored vodka.

Speaker 1

上面说我写这个的时候真的皱了下眉头,为了即将到来的夏天。香草伏特加现在真的让我很烦,最近不小心点了一杯含香草伏特加的饮料,我一喝下去,就像被传送到了二十多岁的时候。太糟糕了。太糟糕了。

And it says I literally winced while writing that for the summer ahead. Vanilla vodka is really upsetting me right accidentally ordered a drink recently with vanilla vodka, and and as soon as I took a sip, I was just, like, transported to it. Twenties. It was awful. It was awful.

Speaker 1

太恶心了。太差了。我家乡的每个孩子要么在当地餐厅工作,要么在杂货店工作。我又怕找零钱,还是那个数学问题,所以我从没申请餐厅的工作,而是在杂货店的农产品部门找了份工作。

It's disgusting. So bad. Every kid in my hometown either worked at one of two places, the local restaurant or the grocery store. I was too scared of breaking change, again, the math, so I never applied to the restaurant and got myself a job at the grocery store's produce department.

Speaker 0

那里也有,姑娘。

They have it there too, girl.

Speaker 1

是啊。当你去农产品部门,你就是在堆香蕉。

Yeah. When you go to the produce department, you're stacking bananas.

Speaker 0

是啊。你就像是啊。

Yeah. You're just like yeah.

Speaker 1

不用算数。工作按部门划分。我大多数朋友被分配到面包房或前台收银。而我‘幸运’地分到了蔬果补货岗——本以为是最轻松的部门。我打赌这活儿基本不用应付顾客。

No math. The jobs were broken down by department. Most of my friends were hired to work in the bakery or at the front till. Well, I was blessed with a job of stocking fruits and veggies, perhaps the easiest of the departments or so I thought. I bet there's, like, little customer service that goes along with

Speaker 0

确实。知道吗?就是帮人挑熟水果那种。

For sure. You know? Which is to help people pick ripe things.

Speaker 1

但估计没多少人会问吧?我绝不会找蔬果区员工搭话。你呢?我绝对不去打扰理货员。

I bet there's not a lot of people, though. I would never ask anything to a fruit person. Would you? I would never bother a fruit and vegetable person.

Speaker 0

除非像...我有次确实问过,因为那员工正好在忙。就问了句‘能帮我挑个熟芒果吗?’

Not unless they were like I think I did it one time because he was already doing stuff. Yeah. And it was like, can you help me pick a ripe mango?

Speaker 1

好吧。我的工作日常就是搬装满香蕉土豆的沉重箱子,用手推车运货,给货架补货。偶尔要拌沙拉或把玉米五根一包——全大写标注,真是刺激极了。

Okay. My shifts consisted of lifting heavy boxes full of bananas, potatoes, what have you, putting them on a wheeling cart, and stocking the shelves for anything that needed replenishing. That's how that works. K. Every so often, I had to put together salads or wrap cobs of corn in a five piece package, all caps, truly exciting stuff.

Speaker 1

你们绝对想不到,我多数早班都始于严重宿醉,得溜进大冰库回血,或是忍着烂土豆味不吐——这味道堪称地狱级,不信试试。

You can bet your butts that most of my shift started with me violently hungover, sneaking off to the giant freezers to regain life or trying not to throw up at the smell of rotting potatoes. Literally, the worst smell proved me wrong.

Speaker 0

我二十多岁时也总在宿醉中硬撑。

I spent so much time in my twenties hungover and trying to make it through.

Speaker 1

没错。我也试过躲进冰库缓解宿醉,懂的。确实有点用。

Yeah. Like, I have gone into a giant freezer to see if it helps with the hangover before. Like, I I know that sensation. Yep. It does work a little bit.

Speaker 1

我敢说。是啊,年轻时某个宿醉的清晨六点半特别难忘。我们通宵狂欢后...

I bet. Yeah. One of those hungover 06:30AM mornings of my youth was a memorable one. I used to stay up all night. We'd go to a rave.

Speaker 1

我嗑了药,早上六点半直接去面包房上班。本地面包店。脑子里还他妈响着电子乐。

I'd be on drugs, and then I'd go into the bakery that morning at 06:30. A bakery. I worked at the local bakery. And I was like, I could still hear the techno in my fucking brain. Yeah.

Speaker 1

你只是

You're just

Speaker 0

你的经历正在产生共鸣。

you're reverberating with the experience.

Speaker 1

他们

Did they

Speaker 0

知道那是你在做的事吗,还是他们就像我

know that that's what you were doing, or they're just like I

Speaker 1

我是说,我当时大概15岁。我看起来很棒,表现得很棒,无所不能。从不觉得累。是啊,不像现在。

mean, I I was, like, 15. I just looked great and acted great and could do anything. I was never tired. Yeah. Not like now.

Speaker 1

总之,当我在大水池里冲洗罗马生菜时,注意到一只蜘蛛正沿着墙壁爬行,离我的头只有一英尺远。如果不是宿醉得那么厉害,我肯定会尖叫着跑开。但相反,我懒洋洋地抓起装生菜的纸箱,把那个撒旦的子孙拍扁在墙上。清理完恶魔的残骸后,我注意到蜘蛛身上有些熟悉的标记,全是大写字母。在农产品部门入职时没人告诉你的是,你可能会遇到随热带水果一起旅行的热带物种。

Anyway, while rinsing off romaine lettuce in the giant sinks, I noticed a spider crawling up the wall just one foot away from my head. If I hadn't been so hungover, I would have screamed and run-in the other direction. But instead, I lazily grabbed the box the lettuce came in and smashed a spawn of Satan into the wall. After cleaning up the demon's remains, I noticed some familiar markings on the spider's body, all caps. What they don't tell you when you're hired in the produce section is that you may come across tropical species that have traveled with the tropical fruit.

Speaker 1

这就是为什么不要把好市多的箱子带回家,你知道的,他们给你那些箱子装杂货。别把那些带进家里。因为里面有蜘蛛。没错。直到我...他们有一整本物种图鉴,之前都没给我看过。

This is why you don't bring Costco boxes into your like, you know, they give those to you to pack your groceries. Don't bring those into your house. Because there's spiders in there. Yes. I wasn't shown this binder of species until I was it's a whole binder of species.

Speaker 1

数量就是这么多。直到我 literally 用纸巾捏着一只黑寡妇蜘蛛去给老板看。我当时随手乱翻各种水果箱,完全没想过葡萄和香蕉里可能藏着一只该死的蝎子。总之,那只黑寡妇被装进罐子保存起来,作为对新员工的警示:工作中可能会遇到有毒昆虫,务必小心。我要感谢我的宿醉让我对墙上爬的蜘蛛毫不在意——要不是前一晚灌了双份伏特加,天知道那只蜘蛛会爬到哪里去。

That's how many. Until I was literally holding a black widow spider in a Kleenex to show my boss. I was flinging all sorts of boxes of fruit left and right without any thought, not knowing that a freaking scorpion could be hiding with the grapes and bananas. Anyways, the black widow was put in a jar and saved as a reminder to any new staff that you may run into a poisonous insect while on the job and to be mindful. I'd like to thank my hangover for allowing me to not give a fuck about a spider crawling up the wall had I not had those double shots of vodka the night before, who knows where that Spidey would have ended up.

Speaker 1

就这样。保持性感,记住农产品部虽然是超市里最轻松的岗位,但也是最吓人的。

That's all. Stay sexy and know that the produce section may be the easiest of the jobs at the grocery store, but is also the scariest.

Speaker 0

是啊。阿黛尔,她,她的。哇哦阿黛尔,你可真是经历丰富。现在说说我的看法...

Yeah. Adele, she, her. Wow, Adele. You really lived through something. Now here's my thing.

Speaker 0

我们小时候周围经常有黑寡妇蜘蛛。

We had black widow spiders around a lot growing up.

Speaker 1

我猜也是,因为你住在乡下。

I bet you did because you lived out in the country.

Speaker 0

就像谷仓里的东西。对。所以当她准备描述那只蜘蛛时,我就想,来了来了。是只毒狼蛛。然后就像,就是那种蜘蛛

It was like barn stuff. Yeah. So when she was, like, about to describe the spider, I'm like, here we go. It's a poisonous tarantula. And it's like, it's the spider

Speaker 1

你经常见到的那种。我几乎没见过。真的?我倒是,比如,在一个地方见过很多,但不是到处都常见。当你看到那个红色沙漏标记时真的很吓人。

you see all the time. I've barely seen one. Really? Well, I've, like, seen a lot in one place, but not a lot in places. It is really jarring when you see it and you see the little red hourglass.

Speaker 1

就像,它是真实的。太可怕了。

Like, it's real. It's so scary.

Speaker 0

整个那部分。对。因为它就是

All that part. Yeah. Because it's just

Speaker 1

就像你从小到大都被灌输危险的概念。是的。然后它就在那里。没错。不喜欢。

like your whole life, you're brought up being like danger. Yes. And then it's there. Yeah. Not a fan.

Speaker 0

女士们先生们,我们不喜欢危险。在这个播客里我们从不喜欢,我觉得以后也不会。

We don't like danger, ladies and gentlemen. We never have on this podcast, and I don't think we ever will.

Speaker 1

但可以写信告诉我们你遇到过的危险事物。

But write us about your dangerous things that you run into.

Speaker 0

这种危险我们喜欢。对。二手的。

That's the kind of danger we like. Yes. Secondhand.

Speaker 1

没错。在我最爱的Gmail谋杀案节目里。非常感谢大家的收听。

Right. At my favorite murder at Gmail. Thank you guys so much for listening.

Speaker 0

保持性感。

And stay sexy.

Speaker 1

别被谋杀了。再见。埃尔维斯,要来块饼干吗?这个

And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This

Speaker 0

节目由Exactly Right制作。我们的高级制作人是亚历杭德拉·凯克和莫莉·史密斯。剪辑师是亚里士多德·阿塞维多。本集混音由莱奥尼斯·奎拉奇完成。将你的家乡故事发送至myfavoritemurder@Gmail.com,

has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Leonis Quilacci. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder@Gmail.com,

Speaker 1

并在Instagram上关注我们的节目@myfavoritemurder。

and follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder.

Speaker 0

在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《我最爱的谋杀案》。

Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1

现在你还可以在Exactly Right的YouTube页面观看我们。记得点赞订阅哦。再见。

And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Goodbye.

Speaker 0

要知道,我们大多数人都对自己的肝脏毫无敬意。

You know, most of us don't treat our livers with any respect.

Speaker 1

阿门。我们总是想当然认为它会继续工作,哪怕我们自己都做不到。幸运的是,LiverMD来帮忙了。基于临床研究和可信的健康专家,由医师配方的LiverMD将肝脏护理提升到新高度。

Amen. We just kind of assume they'll keep showing up for work, even if we don't. Fortunately, LiverMD is here to help. Backed by clinical research and trusted health professionals, physician formulated LiverMD takes liver care to the next level.

Speaker 0

效果如何?已有超过350万人通过LiverMD改变了健康状况。

The results? Over three point five million people have transformed their health with LiverMD.

Speaker 1

当你的肝脏不堪重负时,你会真切感受到。疲劳、腹胀、脑雾,以及周末放纵后恢复得更慢。今天就通过LiverMD掌控你的肝脏健康。

When your liver struggles, you feel it. Fatigue, bloating, brain fog, and slower recovery from those weekend indulgences. Take control of your liver health today with LiverMD.

Speaker 0

访问onemd.org并使用优惠码murder首单立享85折。再见。

Visit onemd.org and use code murder to save 15% on your first order. Goodbye.

Speaker 1

宠物是你最好的朋友、心理治疗师和无薪实习生。所以不要只是喂食,要用希尔思宠物营养品为它们赋能。希尔思以科学为依托,全面支持猫狗健康。作为科学营养领域的领导者

Your pet is your best friend, your therapist, and your unpaid intern. So don't just feed them, fuel them with Hill's Pet Nutrition. Hill's is backed by science to support whole body health in dogs and cats. As a leader

Speaker 0

希尔思科学配方营养支持精瘦肌肉发育,这对宠物的一切活动都至关重要——无论是疯狂跑跳、松鼠巡逻还是偶尔打翻东西。希尔思科学营养让你给予超越人类极限的爱。因为你只是凡人,所以有希尔斯。科学成就更多。访问hill'spet.com/iheart挑选合适食品。

in science led nutrition, Hill's supports lean muscles, which are essential for everything your pet does, whether that's the zoomies, squirrel patrol, or occasionally knocking something over. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Because you're only human, there's Hill's. Science does more. Find the right food at hill'spet.com/iheart.

Speaker 0

再见。如果你一直在等待一个信号来实现梦想座驾,现在就是时候。现代汽车促销活动正在进行中。你可以超值入手现代获奖SUV系列,包括Kona、Tucson、Santa Fe和Palisade。或体验他们的轿车,如科技感十足的伊兰特和迄今最先进的索纳塔。

Goodbye. If you've been waiting for a sign to finally get the car you've been dreaming about, this is it. The Hyundai getaway sales event is going on now. You can score a great deal on Hyundai's award winning lineup of SUVs, including the Kona, Tucson, Santa Fe, and Palisade. Or check out their sedans, like the technology packed Elantra and their most advanced Sonata yet.

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全电动车型IONIQ 5和IONIQ 6也参与活动。所有现代新车均享有美国最佳保修服务——十年或10万英里动力总成有限保修。2025款车型还可获赠三年或3.6万英里免费保养。详情请访问hyundaiusa.com或致电(562)314-4603。

And the all electric IONIQ five and IONIQ six are part of the event too. Every new Hyundai is backed by America's best warranty. That's a ten year, 100,000 mile powertrain limited warranty. You also get three years or 36,000 miles of complimentary maintenance on all 2025 models. Visit hyundaiusa.com or call (562) 314-4603 for more details.

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优惠截止2025年9月2日。再见。

Offers end 09/02/2025. Goodbye.

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