本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
嘿，我是Alex Sujong Laughlin，现在我正和《Normal Gossip》的Rachel Hampton在一起。
Hey, it's Alex Sujong Laughlin, and I am here with the Rachel Hampton of Normal Gossip.
你好。
Hello.
你好，Alex。
Hello, Alex.
同时还有《Only If You Get Caught》的Patrick Redford也在这里。
And I'm also here with Patrick Redford of Only If You Get Caught.
嗨，Patty。
Hi, Patty.
你好啊。
Howdy.
大家怎么样？
How we doing?
我们聚在这里是因为Radiotopia年度筹款活动即将开始，我们仍在努力争取在年底前达到1500位捐赠者的目标。
So we're all here together because the annual Radiotopia fundraiser is upon us, and we are still trying to reach 1,500 donors by the end of the year.
Radiotopia是负责我们广告销售和市场营销的网络平台。
So Radiotopia is the network that sells our ads, that does our marketing.
Rachel，对你来说，成为独立网络的一部分意味着什么？
Rachel, what does it mean to you to be a part of an independent network?
我认为，对我来说最重要的意味着拥有大量编辑自由。
I mean, I think it means mostly and most importantly to me a lot of editorial freedom.
我喜欢在决定每年制作多少季或多少集时不受任何人约束。
I love that I'm not beholden to anyone when we're scheduling how many seasons we do every year or how many episodes we want to make.
我们可以制作最适合自己的节目，从而打造出最佳版本。
We get to make the show that is the most sustainable for us and that allows us to make the best version of the show possible.
非常重要。
Huge.
我完全同意。
I totally agree.
我认为Radiotopia让我最感激的一点是，他们让我们完全自主决定接受或拒绝哪些广告商。
I think that something that I have really appreciated about Radiotopia is that they give us total control over what advertisers we say yes and no to.
比如过去，我们曾合作过一些广告商，但后来可能从听众那里得知他们不太喜欢这些广告。
So like in the past, we've had advertisers that we've worked with who then maybe we hear from our audience that, you know, they're not so into them.
我们可以直接回去告诉Radiotopia，嘿，我们不想再继续合作了。
And we can go back to Radiotopia and say, hey, we we don't wanna do that anymore.
我认为很少有播客能对谁为他们打广告拥有这种自主权，这真的很棒。
And I think not a lot of podcasts have that kind of autonomy over who is advertising for them, which is really cool.
确实如此。
Definitely.
这意味着我们实际推广的东西往往是我们真心喜欢的。
And it means that the things that we do advertise, we actually tend to enjoy.
真是惊人。
Shocker.
Patrick，告诉我，
Patrick, tell me, what
独立对你意味着什么？
does being independent mean to you?
嗯，这可能有点拐弯抹角的回答，但特别是在体育媒体领域，过去几年里，几乎所有人都被博彩公司赞助。
Well, this is maybe a sort of oblique answer, but like, in sports media specifically, over the past few years, everyone is underwritten by a gambling company.
当出现这些与赌博和体育相关的重大丑闻时，你能明显看出有多少媒体被收买了。而不用面对这种情况，知道我们发布的内容完全是我们自己的想法，真是让人耳目一新。
And you can just see when there's these big stories, cheating adjacent, about gambling and sports, that so much of media is compromised, and it's such a breath of fresh air to not have to deal with that, to just know that whatever we put out there is our own thoughts.
没有所有者或广告商的干预层，希望这一点观众能感受到。
There's no intervening layer of owners or advertisers, and hopefully, that comes through to the viewer.
希望你们能看到我们能带来一定程度的诚实。
Hopefully, you see that there's a certain level of honesty that we can bring to this.
所以，如果你喜欢这个节目，并希望像我们这样的节目能够存在并蓬勃发展，请通过访问radiotopia.fm/donate来帮助我们在Radiotopia的播客邻居们捐款。
So, if you love this show and you want shows like ours to exist and thrive, help our podcast neighbors at Radiotopia by donating at radiotopia.fm/ donate.
非常感谢。
Thank you so much.
免费音频后期制作。
Free audio post production.
由alphonic.com提供。
By alphonic.com.
大家好，欢迎收听《日常八卦》。
Hello, and welcome to Normal Gossip.
我是主持人瑞秋·汉普顿。
I'm your host, Rachel Hampton.
在本播客的每一集中，我们将为您带来一则来自现实世界的匿名八卦趣闻。
And in each episode of this podcast, we're gonna bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world.
我要提醒大家，《日常八卦》团队即将迎来短暂休假。
I'm gonna remind y'all that the Normal Gossip team has got a little break coming up.
圣诞和新年期间我们将暂停更新节目。
We will not be publishing during the weeks of Christmas and New Year.
不过别担心，我们将在2026年第一个完整周带着新鲜八卦回归您的收听列表。
But have no fear, we will be back in your feast with fresh gossip within the first full week of 2026.
因此今年（不是本季，而是今年）的最后一期节目将在12月17日播出。
So our last episode for this year, not this season, but this year, is on December 17.
我们将在1月7日恢复更新。
And then we come back on January 7.
好了，今天的日常事务就这些。
All right, that is all the housekeeping for today.
现在是八卦时间。
Now time for the gossip.
感谢那些没有跳过这部分内容的听众们。
For those of you who don't skip this part, thank you so much.
向你们致敬。
Shout out to y'all.
但你们肯定听过我或《普通八卦》的联合创始人凯尔西·麦金尼和亚历克斯·苏荣·洛克林谈论我们共同拥有的公司Defector。
But you've definitely heard me or Normal Gossip's co founders Kelsey McKinney and Alex Sujong Laughlin talk about the company that we all co own, Defector.
没有Defector，《普通八卦》就不可能存在，原因有很多，但我想谈谈一个我从未公开提及的具体问题——作为一个黑人女性接手这档节目时我有多害怕。
There are so many reasons why Normal Gossip would not be possible without Defector, but I want to talk about something specific that I haven't really spoken about publicly, which is how scared I was to take over this show as a black woman.
我们基本上已经花了整整一年时间讨论如何将权力从凯尔西手中和平移交给我。
We have been talking for basically a whole year at this point about our peaceful transition of power from Kelsey's hands into mine.
是的，我们会继续使用这个说法，因为如果你在音频界或现实世界待过，就会知道权力交接并不总是和平的。
And yes, we will continue to use that phrase because if you have spent any time in the audio world or like the real world in general, you're aware that transitions of power aren't always peaceful.
当一位黑人女性加入权力交接时，这种过渡往往会变得更加棘手。
Those transitions tend to be even dicier when you introduce a Black woman into the mix.
你好，是我。
Hello, hi, it's me.
和大多数播客一样，我们对听众的人口统计数据有所了解，这意味着我很清楚接手时《Normal Gossip》的大部分听众是白人。
Like most podcasts, we have some insight into our audience demographic data, which means that I was pretty aware when I took over that the majority of Normal Gossip's audience is white.
我要非常诚实地承认，作为一个黑人女性，这让我害怕得要命。
And I'm gonna be so honest here and say that as a Black woman, that scared the living shit out of me.
我的大多数黑人听众都听过这句话：付出双倍努力，收获一半回报。这指的是在美国，我们黑人必须付出白人同行两倍的努力，却只能得到他们一半的认可。
Most of my Black listeners out there will have heard the phrase twice hard for half as much, which refers to the fact that as Black people in America, we have to work twice as hard to give half as much as our white peers.
这句话未能完全表达的是：即便你付出双倍努力，即便你的作品与白人同行同样优秀，仍有一半接触作品的白人会挑出毛病——只因为你作为黑人竟敢涉足这个领域。
What that phrase doesn't quite capture is that even when you do work twice as hard, even when your work is just as good as your white peers, half the white people who interact with it are gonna find a problem with it because you as a Black person dared to do it.
我甚至不想谈论这带来的精神创伤。
I'm not even gonna talk about the psychic damage of that.
那是留给我心理治疗师的话题。
That's for my therapist.
相反，我想谈谈这样一个事实：大多数媒体公司，尤其是在反DEI（多元化、公平与包容）时代，处于反'觉醒'浪潮中时，完全不知道如何屏蔽种族主义的杂音，反而将问题归咎于他们雇佣的黑人员工。
Instead, I wanna talk about the fact that most media companies, especially in an anti DEI era, in the middle of an anti woke backlash, have zero clue how to tune out the racist noise, and instead make it the problem of the Black person that they hired.
当我说Defector可能是唯一一家我愿意让自己置身于此境地的媒体公司时，我是认真的。
When I say that Defector is one of, if not the only media company that I would be willing to put myself into this position for, I mean it.
这其中很大一部分原因要归功于今天的嘉宾——Defector的收入与运营副总裁Jasper Wang。
And not a small part of that comes down to today's guest, Defector's VP of Revenue and Operations, Jasper Wang.
在Defector，我们都直接称呼Jasper为'业务主管'。
Around Defector, we just called Jasper our business guy.
但在我加入Defector之前，我就知道他远不止于此。
But even before I joined Defector, I knew he was so much more than that.
从很多方面来说，Jasper是维系我们这家小公司的粘合剂。
In a lot of ways, Jasper is the glue that holds our small little company together.
这是因为归根结底，他明白人才是公司的根本，而要让这些人做好工作，他们需要感受到支持。
And that is because at the end of the day, he understands that the people make the company, and that for those people to do their jobs, they need to feel supported.
作为一名黑人女性，能遇到一个不质疑我直觉的人——更别说还是个业务主管——实在是相当罕见。
It is pretty rare as a Black woman to encounter someone, let alone a business guy, who doesn't question my instincts.
从我加入Defector的那一刻起，我就知道Jasper站在我这边。
And from the moment I joined Defector, I knew Jasper was in my corner.
我想整个Normal Gossip团队都会认同，在我们今年进行的转型中，他一直是位重要的幕后支持者，这就是为什么我非常非常荣幸能参与他的Normal Gossip首秀。
I think the whole normal gossip team would agree that he has been a huge silent partner in the transition that we've undertaken this year, which is why I am so, so, so honored to be able to be here for his Normal Gossip debut.
Jasper，你好。
Jasper, hello.
非常感谢你能来参加。
Thank you so much for joining me.
你好。
Hello.
非常感谢你的邀请。
Thank you so much for having me.
这简直是我人生中最棒的一天。
This is like the best day of my life.
你能来我太兴奋了。
I'm so excited that you're here.
我认为这不仅对我们，对整个公司来说都是最激动人心的时刻之一。
I think this might be one of the most exciting moments for not just us, but our entire company.
就像我告诉所有人你要上节目时，他们都说‘我等不及了’。
Like, everyone I've told that you're gonna be on the show is like, I can't fucking wait.
大家都知道我现在是个话痨。
Everyone knows I'm a yapper at this point.
共事五年后，他们都知道我能说会道。
After five years of working together, they know I can yap.
我能和最健谈的人一较高下。
I can yap with the best of them.
你是个冠军级话痨。
You are a champion yapper.
你一直是这样吗？
Have you always been this way?
这是你后天培养的技能吗？
Is this a skill that you developed?
你和八卦有什么关系？
What's your relationship with gossip?
我一直都喜欢八卦。
I have always loved gossip.
可以说我母亲是积极反八卦的，因为她坚决避免和其他家长议论孩子，这点我很尊重。
Like, would say my mother was actively anti gossip because she staunchly avoided gossiping with other parents about children, which, I respect.
但我想说，随着年龄增长，当朋友的孩子开始上学后，我并没有遵循她的原则。
But I would say, as I've gotten older and my friend's kids start going to school, I do not follow her ethos.
我对孩子们的八卦很感兴趣。
I am interested in the children's gossip.
我一直都喜欢八卦。
I have always loved gossip.
在我人生的每个阶段，我都有很多女性朋友。
At every stage of my life, I have had many platonic female friends.
我不认为这之间存在因果关系，但确实存在某种关联，这与现实中八卦通常不被视为直男和男孩的行为规范有关。
And I don't think there's a causal relationship there, but there is an interplay there, which is connected to the reality that gossip is generally not coded for straight men and boys.
是啊。
Yeah.
百分百同意。
100%.
你们节目也请过几位直男嘉宾。
You have had a couple of straight men on this show.
我肯定是第一个直接说'我爱八卦'的人。
I must be the first one to just say like, I love gossip.
不，确实如此。
No, that is true.
他们中很多人都对八卦感到害怕。
So many of them are so scared of gossip.
他们就像是在说，我害怕八卦，但又想要八卦。
They're like, I'm scared of it, but also I want it.
这就像是说，宝贝，没什么好怕的。
And it's like, baby, there's no reason to be scared.
是啊。
Yeah.
这就像是一种社会规范。
It's just like social norming thing.
而且，我记得我思考过这个问题。
And, like, I can remember I was thinking about this question.
在我人生的不同阶段，我记得和兄弟们出去玩时，开始分享一些八卦，然后有人会说：'老兄，你跟我们说这些干嘛？'
I was like, you know, at various points in my life, I can remember hanging out with the fellas, starting to share some gossip, and then somebody being like, bro, why are you telling us this?
我当时就想，好吧。
I And was just like, alright.
那我干脆发短信给一些姐妹，我真正的朋友，她们会想听这些的。
Well, you know, let me text some girlies, like my real friends, who are gonna wanna hear about this.
我只是想和你分享一段经历。
I'm trying to share with you an experience.
你什么意思？
What do you mean?
是啊。
Yeah.
这就是男性孤独危机的雏形啊，老兄。
This is the proto male loneliness epidemic, man.
简直了。
It's just like Wow.
你到底想要什么？
What do you want?
你想聊什么，股票吗？
You wanna talk about, what, stocks?
想聊足球吗？
Wanna You talk about football?
我们正在看足球比赛呢。
Like, we're watching football.
我们没必要再聊更多关于足球的事了。
We don't have to talk about more football.
贾斯珀，我一直觉得你非常聪明，现在我知道我的判断没错。
Jasper, I already thought that you were so smart, but now I know that I was right.
你就是这么
That you're I so
我可以告诉你，我也记得好几次别人让我别再说闲话。
will tell you that I also can remember various moments where I have been told to shut up about the gossip.
然后过一会儿，就会有男生悄悄凑过来问：'但我还想知道故事的后续。'
And then later on, one of the boys will sidle up to me and be like, but I wanna I wanna know the rest of the story.
比如，那个后来怎么样了？
Like, what what how did that end?
这就是本能反应。
There's the instinct there.
只是当时不被允许罢了。
It was just, like, not allowed.
是啊。
Yeah.
男人对八卦怕得要死。
Men are so scared of gossip.
他们觉得谈论别人就像犯法似的。
They're like talking about another person is against the law.
这就好比说，好吧，如果不聊别人，那你们还能聊什么？
And it's like, okay, if you're not talking about other people, then what are you talking about?
聊天气吗？
The weather?
聊天气也离不开人啊。
The weather also involves people.
你们到底在这儿干嘛？
What are you even doing here?
活着不聊别人还有什么意思？
What's the point of being alive not to talk about other people?
这事我能聊一辈子，不过有小道消息说你手头有猛料要跟我分享，你懂我的。
I could talk about this forever, but a little birdie told me that you have some gossip for me and you know me.
你知道我喜欢什么。
You know what I like.
所以我感觉你特意为我准备了些什么，我对此非常期待。
So I have a feeling that you brought me something specific for me, and I'm real excited about it.
让我告诉你这件事。
Let me tell you this.
我觉得这个故事会成为第一个登上r/finance版块的正常八卦。
I think this story, it's gonna be the first normal gossip thing to end up on r/finance.
一个我从未访问过的子版块，但现在要去了。
A subreddit I never visit, but now will.
我是说，别去任何子版块。
I mean, don't don't go to any subreddits.
那不关我们的事。
It's not none of our business.
好吧。
Okay.
在加入Defector之前，你知道我做了将近十年的管理咨询。
So before Defector, you know I was a management consultant for the better part of a decade.
我有很多朋友都在不同的咨询公司工作。
And I have had lots of friends who were consultants at various firms.
在2010年代初，我有个大学同学。
Now, in the early twenty tens, I had a friend from college.
我们就叫她莫拉吧。
We will call her Mora.
莫拉是另一家咨询公司的初级分析师，她被分配到一个为对冲基金服务的项目。
Mora was a junior analyst at another consulting firm, and she got assigned to a project working for a hedge fund.
如果我告诉其他商界人士，说对冲基金雇了家咨询公司，他们会觉得这很正常。
So, if I told another business person, like in a vacuum, a hedge fund has hired a consulting firm, They would be like, sure, that makes sense.
好的。
Okay.
不过，莫拉被分配到了一个特殊的内部项目。
However, Mora got assigned to a special internal project.
这家对冲基金的总部位于康涅狄格州斯坦福德市，他们即将在纽约开设第二家办公室。
The hedge fund was headquartered in Stamford, Connecticut, and they were about to open a second office in New York.
但公司里许多资深员工已在斯坦福德生活多年，他们对此感到担忧。
But a lot of the senior people at the firm, they lived in Stanford for many years, and they were concerned.
他们对有时需要早高峰通勤到纽约这件事非常不满。
They were disgruntled about sometimes having to do the morning commute into New York.
这段通勤要多久？
How long is that commute?
其实总时长并不算长。
It is not that long, all told.
但为了安抚这些资深员工，对冲基金决定聘请咨询公司来研究前往纽约的最快通勤方案。
But to smooth it over with the senior people, the hedge fund decides they're going to hire a consulting firm to figure out the fastest way to commute to New York.
你想猜猜他们考虑了哪些交通方式吗？
Do you want to guess the various transportation options that were in consideration?
我敢打赌公共交通肯定不在考虑范围内，尽管这确实是个可行选项。
I'm sure public transportation was not one of them, even though I'm sure that that is an option available.
地铁北线是一个选择。
Metro North is an option.
好的。
Okay.
那些小型长途巴士，我见过公司用巴士接送员工。
Those little, coach buses, I've seen companies bus their people back and forth.
所以我猜这也是一个选择。
So I'm assuming that's also an option.
是的。
Yeah.
我是说，在这个案例中，更像是为每个人配备私人黑车。
I mean, in this case, it was like private black car for each person.
不过没错，就是某种公司补贴的交通方式。
But, yes, just like some sort of a company subsidized transport.
最后两个或四个选项，就是地铁北线、黑车，然后第三和第四是快艇和直升机。
And then the last two options or four options, so Metro North, black car, and then three and four were speedboat and helicopter.
快艇？
Speedboat?
直升机？
Helicopter?
我发誓，这些人钱多到没处花。
I swear to God, they are people with too much money.
这家公司年收入数十亿美元。
The firm makes billions of dollars.
他们每年能赚几百万甚至上千万美元。
They make millions, tens of million dollars a year.
他们想全面了解什么才是正确答案。
They want to really know comprehensively what is the right answer.
所以他们愿意花几十万美元聘请咨询公司来帮他们解决这个问题。
So they will go pay a consulting firm hundreds of thousand dollars to go figure this out for them.
连续几周，莫拉都早早起床。
For several weeks, Mora would get up early.
她会在早上7点前赶到斯坦福。
She would get her ass out to Stanford by seven a.
M。
M.
然后她会选择各种交通方式返回纽约。
And then she would take the various transportation options back to New York.
接着大约在下午6点，她会乘坐这些交通工具前往康涅狄格州。
And then at like 6PM, she would then take those transportation options out to Connecticut.
然后她会计算行程时间。
And then she would time the trips.
她会检查各种路线变体，看看可能遇到哪些路障以及花费多少。
And she would check the variants and see what potential roadblocks would happen and what it costs.
几周后，你想知道她的建议是什么吗？
After several weeks, do you want to guess what her recommendation was?
是地铁北线吗？
Is it Metro North?
就是跟其他人一样坐他妈的北线地铁。
It is take the fucking Metro North like everybody else.
等等，你是说你朋友经常坐直升机，比如一天要坐好几趟那种？
So, wait, you're telling me your friend was taking helicopters, like, on a consistent like, multiple helicopters a day?
因为你说了往返通勤。
Because you said commute there, commute back.
所以她一周内每天要坐两趟直升机？
So she would take two helicopters in one day for a week?
在那几周时间里，她每天都会尝试不同的交通方式。
So for that period of a couple weeks, every day she would just take something different.
她就这样轮换尝试，计算时间和费用。
And she would just like rotate through and time it and price it.
没错，她确实坐过直升机。
And so, yeah, like she rode on the helicopters.
她还坐过船。
She rode on the boats.
说到底，Metro North才是最稳定的选择。
At the end, the Metro North is just consistent.
从斯坦福德到中央车站的特快列车只要五十分钟左右。
The express train from Stamford to Grand Central is like fifty minutes.
而且非常准时。
And it is very predictable.
很少出现延误情况。
It does not have delays that often.
相当稳定，所以你可以在路上工作。
It's pretty steady, so you can work on the way down.
然后你就到中城区了。
And then, like, you're in Midtown.
你可以去任何你想去的地方。
You can go anywhere you want.
是啊。
Yeah.
你就在中央车站，那里真是令人愉悦。
And you're at Grand Central Station, which is a delight.
没错。
Exactly.
它很美。
It's beautiful.
确实如此。
And it is.
这比宾州车站好太多了。
It's so much better than Penn Station.
哇。
Wow.
像这样的东西要多少钱？
How much would something like this cost?
比如，雇人来估算这个要花多少钱？
Like, how much does it cost to hire someone to price this out?
请一个完整的咨询团队为此工作几周，费用大概在六位数。
Something in the 6 figures to get a whole consulting team to work on this for a couple of weeks.
不出所料，莫拉之后很快就辞去了咨询师的工作。
No surprise, Mora quit being a consultant pretty soon after that.
她现在是一名助产士。
Like, she is a midwife now.
我为她感到高兴。
I love that for her.
我很喜欢她的这个选择。
I love that path for her.
世界上有各种稀奇古怪的职业。
People have there are crazy jobs out there.
有时候，我会突然意识到世界上竟有这么多奇怪的工作。
Sometimes, I'm just reminded of how many crazy jobs there are.
对了，我有些八卦要告诉你。
Well, now I have some gossip for you.
你准备好了吗？
Are you ready?
我完全准备好了。
I'm so ready.
我太兴奋了。
I'm so excited.
我好害怕。
I'm so scared.
我们开始吧。
Let's go.
今天的故事是关于郁金香的。
Today's story is about tulips.
在我们深入之前，你对郁金香有什么感觉？
Before we get into it, what are your feelings about tulips?
你对它们了解多少？
What do you know about them?
它们引发了一场严重的股市崩盘。
They caused a big stock market crash.
什么？
What?
荷兰郁金香股市崩盘。
The Dutch tulip stock market crash.
这完全不是我想象中你会
This is not anything that I thought you
0说出来的话。
would say.
这太不可思议了。
That is incredible.
除此之外，我对郁金香的感受就是——它是我能脱口而出的三四种花之一。
Otherwise, my feelings about tulips are it's one of, you know, like three or four, flowers I can name off the top of my head.
所以对我来说绝对是前五名的花。
So, you know, a top five flower for me definitely.
哇。
Wow.
真美。
Beautiful.
故事开始时，我们朋友的朋友对郁金香知之甚少。
Our friend of a friend did not know a whole lot about tulips when this story started.
事实上，她对园艺几乎一窍不通。
In fact, she didn't know a lot about gardening at all.
我们朋友的朋友名叫艾琳，她是一名旅行护士。
Our friend of a friend today is named Erin, and Erin is a traveling nurse.
想必你能想象，艾琳经常搬家——不仅成年后如此，她父亲是军人，因此整个童年都在不断搬迁中度过。
So as I'm sure you can imagine, Erin has moved around a lot and not just in adulthood, her dad was in the army, so she spent her entire childhood moving around.
自16岁起，她就再没住过带院子的房子。
She has not lived in a house with a yard since she was 16.
在我们故事发生时，她已年近四十，对于拥有一所永远不必搬离的房子，她怀着大写B大写F般强烈的情感。
And at the time of our story, she's in her late thirties, so she has a whole lot of capital b, capital f big feelings about owning a home that no one can ever make her move out of.
这就是千禧一代年长者的烦恼啊，老兄。
That is the elder millennial problem, man.
我们都坐在这儿。
We're all sitting here.
我们的父母还在问我们为什么租房住。
Our parents are still asking us why we're renting.
事情就是这样。
That's just how it goes.
是啊。
Yeah.
就像千禧一代年长者一样，不幸的是艾琳在买房这件事上运气不太好。
And like an elder millennial, unfortunately for Erin, she has not had the best of luck with the whole owning a home thing.
尤其是因为她工作原因在过去十八个月里不得不搬了三次家，从北卡罗来纳州到缅因州再到明尼苏达州。
Not least because she's had to move three times in the last eighteen months because of her job from North Carolina to Maine to Minnesota.
但正是在明尼苏达州，艾琳买房的梦想似乎终于要实现了。
But it is in Minnesota that it seems like Erin's dream of buying a home might finally come true.
艾琳工作的医院人手严重不足，她的六个月合同几乎立即转为全职职位。
The hospital Erin is working at is so understaffed that her six month contract is almost immediately converted to a full time position.
她的丈夫安迪的新工作薪水比上一份高得多。
Her husband Andy's new job pays significantly more than his last one.
还有一点，艾伦和安迪这次并不是第一次在疫情期间尝试买房。
And then there's the fact that Aaron and Andy are not trying to buy a home in the middle of the pandemic for the first time.
贾斯珀，你是个生意人。
Jasper, you're a businessman.
我没记错的话，2020年和2021年大部分时间房地产市场对买家都很糟糕，对吧？
Am I correct in remembering that the housing market sucked for buyers for a lot of 2020 and 2021?
我是说，房地产市场糟糕很久了，但房价一直在涨。
I mean, the housing market has sucked for a long time, but prices just go up and up.
但没错，2020、2021、2022年简直疯狂。
But, yes, 2020, 2021, 2022 was crazy bananas.
所以为艾伦和安迪感到高兴。
So good for Aaron and Andy.
是啊。
Yeah.
艾伦和安迪之前在北卡罗来纳州和缅因州的两次购房尝试都未能成功。
Aaron and Andy's two prior home buying attempts in North Carolina and Maine had been unsuccessful.
但第三次就顺利了。
But third time, she's the charm.
明尼苏达州的土壤一定有什么魔力，他们在对三套不同房子报价后，第三次报价终于被接受了。
And there must be something in that Minnesota soil because after putting in offers for three different houses, their third offer is accepted.
好吧。
Alright.
而且这套房子本来就是他们真正想要的。
And this was the house that they actually really wanted anyway.
它离医院足够近，艾琳可以在春秋季骑车，冬季乘坐轻轨上班。
It's close enough to the hospital that Erin can bike during the fall and spring and take the light rail during winter.
她可不是坐快艇去上班的。
She's not taking a speedboat to work.
艾琳和安迪买的房子有三间卧室和两间浴室。
So the house that Erin and Andy get, it's a three bed, two bath.
房子有些年头，建于20世纪20年代，但厨房和浴室都是新近翻新过的。
It's on the older side, like it was built in the 1920s, but both the kitchen and the bathrooms have been recently renovated.
大部分重要家电都是新的，包括热水器。
Most of the important appliances are new, including the water heater.
车库甚至装了暖气，这在明尼苏达州的冬天似乎很重要。
The garage is even heated, which seems important for Minnesota during the winter.
社区环境超级可爱。
The neighborhood is super cute.
街道两旁绿树成荫。
The streets, they're all tree lined.
简直完美。
It's kind of perfect.
你家里有没有什么完全非必需但必须拥有的东西？
Is there anything like totally non essential that you have to have in your home?
除了租金稳定外，让我决定租下这套公寓的原因之一是浴室里有扇窗户。
Like one of the things that sold me on my apartment, besides the fact that it is rent stabilized, is that it has a window in the bathroom.
我讨厌待在没窗户的浴室里。
I hate being in a bathroom that has no window.
感觉就像被困住了一样。
I'm just like, I'm trapped.
在我们家，我妻子执意要至少有个假烟囱，这样我们就能装个假壁炉。
In our household, my wife ended up getting fixated on having at least a fake chimney, so we would have a fake fireplace.
所以我们现在装了个电壁炉，实际上非常棒。
So we currently have an electric fireplace, which is amazing, actually.
我确实很喜欢这个设计。
So I do love that.
哇。
Wow.
我超爱壁炉。
I love a fireplace.
对Aaron来说，后院尤其是花园意义非凡。
Well, for Aaron, this is the backyard, specifically the garden.
因为在过去二十年里，Erin离拥有花园最近的时候，就是在联排别墅后的小水泥地上摆几个种植盆。
Because for the past two decades, the closest Erin has ever come to having a garden is having like planter pots on her little slab of concrete behind her townhouse.
Erin小时候曾在住过的房子里种过花园，但总是在收获前就搬走了。
And when she was younger, Erin had planted gardens in some of the houses she lived in as a kid, but they had always moved before she could harvest anything.
所以拥有一个花园对Erin来说意义重大。
So having a garden means a lot to Erin.
而且她的新后院并不大。●●●
And her new backyard is not massive.
大部分空间被露台占据，但剩下的院子足够实现艾琳的园艺梦想。●●●
A lot of it's taken up by the deck, but the remaining yard is more than big enough for the garden of Erin's dreams.
甚至在房子成交前，艾琳就已经开始规划要种哪些蔬菜水果了。●●●
And before they even close on the house, Erin is already planning out what sort of greens and veggies and fruit she's gonna plant.
幸运的是，在亚伦和安迪的房产经纪人告知他们前业主需要亲笔签名才能完成交易前，整个成交过程都相当顺利。●●●
And luckily, the closing process goes fairly smoothly until Aaron and Andy's real estate agent tell them that the previous homeowners are requiring a wet signature to close.
我猜你知道湿签名是什么吧。
I'm assuming you know what a wet signature is.
就是不能用电子签名。
It's just not an e signature.
他们要求我们必须见面，用圆珠笔手写签名。
They're like, we have to meet up and actually, like, get a ballpoint pen and write it down.
没错。
Correct.
明尼苏达州法律其实允许通过DocuSign完成房屋交易。
Minnesota state law actually allows you to close on a house using DocuSign.
他们称之为远程在线公证（RON）。
Like, they call it remote online notarization or RON.
但前房主坚持要湿签名。
But the previous homeowners are like, we want a wet signature.
他们要求必须在房子里当面完成，前房主、Aaron、Andy、双方经纪人以及公证员都要在场。
They want this done at the house with them present along with Aaron, Andy, and both realtors plus a notary.
现在是2023年，这并不一定构成健康风险。
This is in 2023, so this is not necessarily a health risk.
但你怎么看前房主的这个要求？
But what do you think of this request from the previous homeowners?
就是觉得这个要求太具体了。
It's just it's very specific.
现在所有事情都转向电子签名了。
Like, everything has moved to esignature.
自2020年以来，我都记不清上次需要公证是什么时候了。
I can't remember the last time I needed to notarize something since 2020.
而且Ron（远程在线公证）这个系统名字对明尼苏达州来说很贴切，适合所有人使用。
And Ron is a perfectly, you know, Minnesota name for a system that works for everybody.
所以他们应该直接采用Ron系统。
So they should just do the Ron.
他们确实应该这样做。
They should.
是啊。
Yeah.
我们的朋友艾琳可不买账。
Our friend, Erin, is not a fan.
她总在问，为什么就不能在网上搞定这事？
She is like, why can we not just do this online?
她受够了每周换一次Airbnb的生活。
She's tired of living week to week in an Airbnb.
她想买家具，还想买个小篮子拎着在花园里转悠。
She wants to buy furniture and little baskets to carry around the garden.
每过去一天，艾琳就少了一天拿着修枝剪和小铲子悠闲打理花草的日子。
Every day that passes is the day that Erin is not puttering around with a pair of shears and a little trowel.
而且要协调所有人的时间简直遥遥无期——我相信你懂的，就像试图安排四个以上成年人的聚餐一样。
And it's taking forever to find a time that works for all of them, which I'm sure you understand as someone who's tried to schedule a dinner for more than four adults.
根本不可能。
Impossible.
所以艾琳立刻对前房主米勒一家产生了抵触情绪。
So Erin is immediately anti the previous homeowners who are called the Millers.
她丈夫安迪对湿签名这事也不太感冒，但他对买房本身没太多感触，因为他父母直到他结婚那天才把他童年卧室改造成办公室。
Her husband, Andy, is also not really thrilled about the whole wet signature thing, but he doesn't have a lot of feelings about buying a house because his parents didn't convert his childhood bedroom to an office until the day he got married.
所以他觉得，'我一直都有家啊'。
So he's like, I've always had a home.
真让人羡慕。
Must be nice.
是啊。
Yeah.
他说，'米勒一家对卖这房子肯定也有自己的复杂情绪'。
He's like, the millers probably have their own big feelings about selling this house.
不过在爱彼迎也就多住一周而已。
And it's only an extra week in the Airbnb.
我们还能趁这段时间采购家具。
And we can use it as a shopper furniture.
对吧？
Right?
不。
No.
每个人都在花更多的钱。
Everybody is paying way more money.
持有房屋超过必要时间的成本，交割费用被拖延，说实话，如果他们真要等这个，我会说你们得分担我接下来一周住爱彼迎的费用。
The holding cost of holding onto a house for longer than you need, the closing costs get dragged on, the Airbnb honestly, if they're if they were gonna wait for this, I'd be like, you have to split the cost of my Airbnb for the next week that I have to stay in.
哇哦。
Woah.
一切都可以谈判。
Everything is up for negotiation.
好吧。
Alright.
呃，艾琳没想到这点。
Well, Erin does not think of this.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
她说，好吧。
She's like, fine.
我想我们会买家具的。
I guess we'll buy furniture.
不过她并不期待亲自与米勒一家见面，尤其是因为唯一适合所有人的时间是周六下午。
She's not looking forward to meeting the Millers in person though, not least because the only time that worked for everyone was a Saturday afternoon.
那本该是个阳光明媚的完美周六下午，艾琳本可以在她的花园里度过的。
Like a perfect sunny Saturday afternoon that Erin could have been spending in her garden.
但无所谓，就这样吧。
But whatever, it's fine.
你觉得米勒一家会是什么风格？
What kind of vibe would you expect the Millers to have?
说实话，有点像是'我们在酒吧那头看见你，喜欢你的样子'那种风格。
Honestly, a sort of a, I we saw you from across the bar, and we like the way you look vibe.
比如，我们到底为什么要亲自见面？
Like, what the hell do we have to meet in person for?
说真的，你为什么非得亲自见我？
Like, truly, why do you have to see me physically?
我...我不知道。
I I don't know.
也许他们对这栋房子感情很深，想和它道别，并且要好好叮嘱你必须好好照顾它。
Maybe they're very physically attached to this house and wanna say goodbye to it and, you know, give you a real talking to about how you have to take good care of it.
所以亚伦——如果你还记得的话，他是个军人子弟——立刻认出米勒先生
So Aaron, who, if you remember, is an army brat, immediately clocks Mr.
是退伍军人。
Miller as ex military.
他的平头修剪得如此精确，看起来像是用尺子量着去理发店剪的。
He has a crew cut that is so precise, It looks like he goes to the barber with a ruler.
他有点像《阿凡达》里那个将军的架势，就是那部有蓝皮肤人的电影。
He's kind of giving the general from Avatar, the movie with the blue people.
尽管他看起来至少六十多岁了，但身材却异常健壮。
Like, despite the fact that he is like, at least in his sixties, he is absolutely jacked.
他周六穿着卡其裤，衬衫还塞得整整齐齐。
And he's wearing khakis on a Saturday and his shirt is tucked in.
我想象着肖恩·潘在一场又一场战斗中的样子。
I'm imagining Sean Penn in, one battle after another.
我觉得这个比喻太贴切了。
I think that's a perfect reference.
他妻子米勒太太
His wife, Mrs.
则完全是另一个极端。
Miller is total complete opposite.
她就像那种海滨祖母风——糅合了《爱是妥协》里的黛安·基顿和奥普拉在自家花园挎着小篮子拍视频的气质。
Like, she's giving coastal grandmother a combination of Diane Keaton from Something's Gotta Give and Oprah in every video that she posts from her garden with her little basket.
好吧。
Okay.
而且这位米勒太太
And it's Mrs.
米勒女士告诉他们，其实他们搬得并不远。
Miller who tells them that they're actually not moving that far.
他们只是现在要缩小居住规模，因为米勒先生
They're just downsizing now that Mr.
已经退休了。
Miller is retired.
而米勒太太
And Mrs.
一直梦想住在明尼阿波利斯市中心的大城市里。
Miller always wanted to live in the big city of Downtown Minneapolis.
所以他们买了套公寓，距离原来住处仅十五分钟路程。
So they bought a condo just fifteen minutes away.
米勒先生看起来对此并不太高兴，直到后来亚伦和安迪才明白原因。
Mister Miller looks less than thrilled about this, and it's not until later that Aaron and Andy find out why.
但在我们讲这个之前，我想问问，你是那种会逐字阅读合同的人吗？
But before we get to that, I wanted to ask, are you someone who reads every word of a contract?
比如，你真的读过你的租约吗？
Like, did you actually read your lease?
除非有律师帮我审阅，否则合同里的每个字我都会读。
I read every word of a contract unless I have a lawyer reading it.
对于需要我亲笔签署的文件，我绝对会逐字阅读。
A thing that I am wet signaturing, absolutely, I'm gonna read every single word.
现在我要承认，我更像我们那位朋友的朋友。
So here's where I admit that I am more like our friend of a friend.
好吧。
Okay.
我完全没看条款就直接签了，都没检查
I fully got a cap before I checked my leaves to see if I
能联系上瑞秋。
could Rachel.
他本该通知我的房东吗？
Where was he supposed to notify my landlord?
这就是为什么Sierra说我在节目期间也会对你评头论足。
This is why Sierra said I could be judgmental of you during the episode too.
好的。
Okay.
我现在明白了。
I see it now.
这就是我理解的情况。
This is I understand what's happening.
结果还不错。
It turned out fine.
我现在在自己的公寓里，感觉很好。
I'm in my apartment, and it's great.
还有你的猫
And your cat is
在那里。
there.
没错。
Exactly.
所以结果完全没问题。
So it turned out totally fine.
这就是艾琳的感受。
And this is how Erin feels.
她的态度是，最终一切都会好起来的。
She's like, it's gonna turn out totally fine.
而且她之前经历过购房流程。
And she's been through the home buying process before.
前几次买房时，她几乎逐字阅读了所有产权文件和协议。
And the first few times, she had like read every single like permit and agreement in the closing papers.
但最后她还是没能买到房子。
And then she like wouldn't get the house.
她的朋友们都说，文件实在太多了。
And all of her friends are like, it's so many papers.
实际上根本没人会看这些文件。
No one actually reads them.
虽然感觉不太好，但你只管全部签完字，别去担心它。
It's gonna feel bad, but you just sign them all and you just don't worry about it.
他们的房产经纪人保证合同是标准格式，而且安迪也承诺过他已经全部看过了。
Their realtor had assured them that the contract was standard and Andy had promised that he read the whole thing.
所以艾伦心想，我只要签个首字母就行了。
So Aaron's like, I can just sign an initial.
签到最后她的手都抽筋了。
Her hand is cramping by the end.
不过没关系，因为米勒夫妇交出了钥匙，艾伦正式成为房主了。
It's okay though, because the millers hand over the keys and Aaron is officially a homeowner.
直到艾伦和安迪回到他们的爱彼迎民宿时，才发现米勒夫妇其实给他们发了邮件。
It's not until Aaron and Andy get back to their Airbnb though, that they see that they actually have an email from the millers.
邮件主题是《郁金香养护指南》，附件里有一张手绘的后院示意图，包括露台和花园里已有植物的位置，地图上最显眼标记的就是那些郁金香。
The subject line is Tulip Care and Keeping, and included as an attachment is a hand drawn diagram of the backyard, including the deck, and the location of all the plants already in the garden, most prominently marked on this map are the tulips.
关于郁金香需要知道的两件重要事情。
So two important things to know about tulips.
它们从早春到初夏开花，像大蒜一样是球茎植物，这意味着你不需要重新种植它们。
They bloom from early spring to early summer and they're bulb plants like garlic, which means that you don't have to replant them.
还有，如果你在十二月看到一片郁金香田，它看起来就像覆盖物，这就是为什么艾琳没有注意到她计划用作花园的一半区域都种满了郁金香。
And also that if you're looking at a field of tulips in like December, it just looks like mulch, which is why Erin had not noticed that half of the area that Erin had planned to have for her garden is filled with tulips.
哦。
Oh.
米勒夫妇是那种共用一个电子邮箱账户的夫妻。
The Millers are one of those couples that have like a joint email account.
所以，亚伦和安迪直到看到邮件末尾才知道是谁发的这封邮件。
So, Aaron and Andy don't know who sent this email until they get to the bottom of it.
我想问你，你觉得这封邮件是哪个米勒发的？
I wanna ask you, what Miller do you think sent this email?
那绝对是芭芭拉·米勒。
That is definitely Barbara Miller.
你给她起名字了？
You named her?
芭芭拉·米勒。
Barbara Miller.
是的。
Yes.
芭芭拉和格伦。
Barbara and Glenn.
我以后在心里就这么称呼他们了。
That's what I'm gonna call them in my head.
现在这就是他们的名字了。
That's their names now.
芭芭拉和格伦。
Barbara and Glenn.
令亚伦震惊——可能也让你惊讶的是，发件人是米勒先生
To Aaron's shock and maybe yours, it is mister Miller
哦，哇。
Oh, wow.
格伦。
Glenn.
正在发邮件讨论郁金香的事。
Emailing about the tulips.
格伦。
Glenn.
格伦包罗万象。
Glenn contains multitudes.
好吧。
Okay.
米勒先生写道，现在长在亚伦花园里的郁金香可不是普通超市里卖的那种。
Mister Miller writes that the tulips growing in what is now Aaron's garden are not just your average grocery store tulips.
这些是社区花园的骄傲。
These are the pride of the community garden.
它们是两个不同品种的杂交，花了八年时间才培育成功。
They are a cross breed between two different varietals it took eight years to perfect.
这些郁金香在明尼苏达州博览会上多次获奖。
These tulips have won multiple prizes at the Minnesota State Fair.
而米勒先生
And Mr.
写道，他真的希望亚伦和安迪不要破坏这些辛勤劳动的成果。
Miller writes, he would really appreciate if Aaron and Andy didn't undo any of this hard work.
所以他附上了郁金香的养护说明，大部分都是基本的园艺技巧。
So he includes care instruction for the tulips, most of which are just like basic gardening tips.
安迪的反应是，哇。
Andy's like, wow.
这不是很棒吗？
Isn't this great?
你的花园已经初具规模了。
Your garden's already started.
这不是亚伦的回应。
This is not Aaron's response.
如果我要往好的方面想，我会理解安迪在说什么。
If I were looking on the bright side, I would understand what Andy was saying.
比如，亚伦，你已经几十年没有真正拥有过花园了，所以能有个小小的起步挺好的。
Like, Aaron, you have not actually had a garden for many decades now, and so it is nice to have a head start a little bit.
从描述来看，事实上你不需要重新种植它们，听起来像是郁金香。是的。
It actually from that description, the fact that you don't have to replant them, sounds like tulips Yeah.
某种程度上确实有优势。
Sort of do have an advantage.
另一方面，这也带来很大压力。
On the other hand, it's a lot of pressure.
而且你肯定要告诉我某种合同条款，会让这种干涉从轻微变成具有法律约束力的严重干涉。
And surely, you are about to tell me about some sort of a contractual clause that is gonna make it, like, light meddling to, like, actually serious legally binding meddling.
我无法确认或否认这一点。
I can't confirm or deny that.
艾琳的反应是：他怎么敢这样？
Erin is like, how dare he?
她质问道：为什么刚才我们花了一小时签文件时没人提这事？
She's like, why was this not mentioned during the hour we just spent signing documents together?
当艾伦和安迪搬进新家时，已经是十一月了。
By the time Aaron and Andy move into their new house, it is already November.
所以他们觉得：现在做什么都无济于事了。
So they're kind of like, there's nothing to be done.
反正我们现在也不会去挖地。
We're not gonna go digging around right now anyway.
而且房子里有太多事情要忙。
And there's so much to be done inside the house.
整个冬天都是艾伦和安迪的家装频道时代。
That whole winter is Aaron and Andy's HGTV era.
他们连Pinterest灵感板都准备好了。
They've got Pinterest boards.
他们在贴墙纸。
They're putting up wallpaper.
他们在刷油漆。
They're painting.
他们在学习使用不同的钻头。
They're learning how to use different drill bits.
他们重新认识到地毯有多贵。
They're rediscovering how expensive rugs are.
我们很喜欢这样。
We love it.
除了在他们新家的第一个冬天里，米勒先生一直发邮件这件事。
Except for the fact that throughout that first winter in their new house, Mr.
内容都是关于郁金香的。
Miller keeps emailing them about the tulips.
十二月时他发消息说：气象预报员说本周末会有严重霜冻。
In December, he's like, the weatherman said there's a hard frost coming this weekend.
别忘了给花园覆盖上护根物。
Don't forget to cover the garden with mulch.
这就是明尼阿波利斯的全部时光。
That's the whole time of Minneapolis.
明尼阿波利斯的十二月、一月、二月，那段时间全是严霜。
Minneapolis in December, in January, in February, that's it's it's a hard frost that whole time.
没错。
Exactly.
而且艾琳之前已经做过这件事了。
And Erin had also already done this.
她正在打理她的花园。
She's preparing her garden.
是啊。
Yeah.
她并不需要
She didn't need
他的帮助。
his help.
她是个护士。
She's a nurse.
她能听从指示。
She can follow directions.
她懂得如何让生命延续。
She understands keeping things alive.
然后到了三月，米勒先生就会问：你开始给花坛加堆肥了吗？
And then mister Miller in March is like, have you started adding compost to the flower beds?
几周后他又问：你准备了什么防兔措施？
A few weeks after that, he's like, what sort of rabbit mitigation system do you have in place?
因为显然兔子最爱吃郁金香球茎。
Because apparently rabbits love tulip bulbs.
你会怎么应付这家伙？
How would you handle this guy?
我会用越来越简短的方式感谢他。
I would thank him in very increasingly curt ways.
哦。
Oh.
比如，谢谢。
Of like, thanks.
我已经在做了。
I was on it.
我能搞定。
I got it.
我理解你的关心。
I understand your concern.
我不需要你在我背后指手画脚。
And I do not need your hovering over my shoulder.
是啊。
Yeah.
艾琳已经到了这个地步，她在想：要是我干脆出去把后院所有的郁金香球茎都挖出来会怎样？
Erin is at the point where she's like, what if I just went outside and dug up every single one of those tulip bulbs in the backyard?
她说，我觉得我们该直接叫这家伙滚蛋。
She's like, I think we should just tell this guy to fuck off.
但安迪一点都不担心。
But Andy is not worried at all.
他说，我能搞定这家伙。
He's like, I can manage this guy.
他可能只是太孤独了。
He's probably just lonely.
安迪不想把事情搞僵，因为我忘了提，尽管米勒一家搬去了市中心，他们在社区里还有很多朋友。
And Andy doesn't wanna make things awkward because one thing I forgot to mention is that even though the Millers moved downtown, they still have a lot of friends in the neighborhood.
所以在咖啡店或社区花园里碰见他们并不稀奇。
So it's not uncommon to see them in a coffee shop or at the community garden.
而亚伦的丈夫安迪是个回避冲突的人。
And Aaron's husband Andy is, conflict avoidant.
所以安迪说，交给我吧。
So Andy's like, I got this.
别担心。
Don't worry.
你把米勒先生的邮件
You send Mr.
直接标记为垃圾邮件，我来对付他。
Miller's email straight to spam, and I'll handle him.
你连想都不用想。
You don't even have to think about it.
从我的理解来看，可爱的冲突回避型安迪在明尼阿波利斯很吃得开。
Sweet conflict averse Andy fitting right in in Minneapolis from what I understand.
中西部式的友善。
Midwestern nice.
哦，未来三个月我们可能会在咖啡店偶遇他们一次，所以我必须和这个人维持表面关系。
Oh, we might run into them at a coffee shop one time in the next three months, and therefore, I have to keep up appearances with this person.
好的。
Okay.
太好了。
Great.
你相信安迪说他能搞定这事吗？
Do you believe Andy when he says that he's got it handled?
不信。
No.
一点也不信。
Not at all.
你说这话的语气好悲伤。
You say that so sadly.
唉，我们之前就铺垫过安迪本该是负责审阅合同的人。
Well, again, we foreshadowed that Andy was the one who was supposed to read the contract.
所以当他说会盯紧细节时，我根本不相信他。
And so I already don't believe in him when he says he's gonna stay on top of the details.
所以，是的，我觉得这事会出问题，因为安迪处理不了这种情况。
So, yeah, I think this is gonna go sideways because Andy can't handle this situation.
艾琳现在在医院上12小时的班。
Erin's working twelve hour shifts at the hospital at this point.
所以她就像，你知道吗？
So she's like, you know what?
好吧。
Fine.
你来处理。
You handle it.
但后来她又说，如果那男的想过来看郁金香还是什么鬼的，那就有问题了。
But then she's like, if that man tries to come over to see the tulips or whatever the fuck, it's gonna be a problem.
亚伦说，我是在军人堆里长大的。
Aaron's like, I grew up around military guys.
你给他们一寸，他们就会要一英里。
You give them an inch and they take a mile.
如果你让他进来，我们就永远摆脱不了他了。
If you let him in, we will never get rid of him.
还有，想想美帝国主义的历史。
Also, the history of American imperialism, think about it.
哦，没错。
Oh, yes.
军人啊。
Military men.
这根本不是任何事情的隐喻。
That is a it's it's not a metaphor for anything.
这就像是，你知道的，美军希望你只在人际交往中表现的方式。
That's just like, you know, how the US army wants you to behave only interpersonally.
安迪觉得，完全合理。
Andy's like, totally fair.
我也不想我们家被入侵。
I don't want our home to be invaded either.
但他会说，想想我们将拥有多少郁金香。
But he's like, but think about all the tulips we're gonna have.
就像我们去阿姆斯特丹度蜜月一样。
It'll be like we went to Amsterdam for our honeymoon.
问题是，对亚伦来说很不幸，安迪是对的。
And the thing is, unfortunately for Aaron, Andy is right.
我们最讨厌看到男人说对了。
We hate to see when a man is right.
亚伦把米勒先生的
Aaron sends Mr.
邮件标记为垃圾邮件，他就彻底从她生活中消失了。
Miller's emails to spam and he entirely disappears from her life.
还没等艾琳有机会种植自己的花园，后院的郁金香就已经开始绽放。
And before Erin even has a chance to plant her own garden, the tulips start blooming in the backyard.
那些花简直美得令人窒息。
And they're like absolutely stunning.
艾琳每次看到它们都忍不住微笑。
Like Erin cannot help smiling whenever she sees them.
你有什么顾虑吗？
Do you have any concerns?
目前来看，一切进展相当顺利。
As of this moment, things are going pretty well.
听起来棒极了。
Things sound great.
我们可以顺利完成一整期正常的八卦节目，让事情一直顺风顺水。
We can get through a whole normal gossip episode where things just keep going swimmingly.
我相信这期节目就会这样发展。
That's what I believe is gonna happen in this episode.
五月底，当郁金香的盛景开始消退时，艾琳正在工作。
In late May, when the tulips glory is starting to fade, Erin's at work.
她在午休时间查看个人邮箱，发现了一封被安迪转发来的邮件。
She's on her lunch break, she's checking her personal email when she sees an email that has been forwarded to her by Andy.
她只需要看到邮件主题中的'郁金香'一词和发件人地址中的'米勒'字样，就立刻给安迪打了电话。
And all she needs to read is the word tulips in the subject line and Miller in the email address before she's calling Andy.
她质问道，这是什么情况？
She's like, what is this?
我以为这事由你来处理的。
I thought you were handling this.
安迪回答，我知道我知道，但你看起来真的不想让他过来。
And Andy's like, I know, I know, but you seem like you really didn't want him to come over.
那你看了邮件没有？
And well, did you read the email?
艾琳说，我没看邮件，因为你承诺过我再也不用跟这个人打交道了。
And Erin's like, I did not read the email because you promised me I wouldn't have to deal with this man anymore.
南迪说，拜托你先看看邮件好吗？
Nandi's like, can you please just read the email?
于是艾琳读了邮件，说实话，幸好这事发生时她正在上班，这对大家都好。
So Erin reads the email and honestly, it's probably the best for everyone that she is at work when this is happening.
因为这封邮件实际上包含了一周半前的多封往来邮件。
Cause the email is actually several emails dating back to a week and a half ago.
当时米勒先生
When Mr.
询问何时能如约前来采收郁金香球茎。
Miller had asked when he could come over to harvest the tulip bulbs as promised.
艾伦说：'承诺？'
Aaron's like, promise?
什么承诺？
What promise?
安迪则说：'继续往下看。'
And Andy's like, just keep reading.
那不是承诺。
That's not a promise.
那是威胁。
That's a threat.
过去某个时候确实有过威胁。
There was a threat at some point in the past.
于是亚伦继续往下读。
So Aaron keeps reading.
安迪非常礼貌地回应说，我不确定你指的是什么承诺。
Andy had very politely responded like, I'm not sure what promise you're talking about.
但很不巧，我们正在花园里进行一些景观改造，所以不适合接待客人。
But unfortunately, we are doing some landscaping in the garden, so it is not fit for company.
不过我非常乐意为你采摘一些郁金香球茎并送过去。
But I am more than happy to harvest some tulip bulbs for you and drop them off.
这完全不是问题。
It would be no trouble.
你觉得这个折中方案公平吗？
Does this seem like a fair compromise to you?
这确实是个公平的折中方案。
That does seem like a fair compromise.
安迪做得很好，既保持了界限又坚持了立场。
That is a good job by Andy, maintaining boundaries and trying to hold the line here.
我在想，其实我不太懂园艺是怎么回事。
I am wondering I don't really know how gardening works.
所以这是不是意味着，如果他收获了郁金香，以后就再也不会来烦你了？
So is this sort of like, if he harvests the tulips, he is now out of your hair forever?
比如，他的郁金香业务现在要转移到别处去了？
Like, his tulip operation now goes somewhere else?
还是说这实际上开了个先例，每年春天我都要来收获一些郁金香？
Or is this like actually setting a precedent that every spring I'm going to show up and harvest some tulips?
我可能会去谷歌搜索一下，了解一下收获郁金香球茎的具体流程。
Like, I I would do some googling around about just, like, what goes into harvesting tulip bulbs.
艾琳也差不多处于同样的境地。
Erin is also kind of in the same place.
她有点不情愿地承认，那确实是个不错的解决方案。
She's, like, begrudgingly, like, that was a good solution.
但她又说，你本该叫他们滚蛋的。
But she's like, you should have told them to fuck off.
我跟你说过这些军人的事。
I told you about these military guys.
南迪说，你能不能先把邮件读完？
Nandi's like, can you please just finish reading the email?
最后，艾琳看到了邮件链末尾米勒先生的来信，内容是：虽然感谢您的慷慨提议，但必须采用正确技术收割我的郁金香以保证存活率。
So finally, Erin gets to the final email in the chain, which is from mister Miller, and which reads, while I appreciate your generous offer, it is essential that my tulips are harvested with the correct technique to ensure viability.
我将于5月13日周六上午九点前来收割我的130颗金枪鱼球茎。
I will be there on Saturday, May 13 at nine hundred to harvest my 130 bulbs of tuna.
130颗
A 130
球茎？
bulbs?
哦，见鬼。
Oh, shit.
好的。
Okay.
米勒先生接着说道，我真诚希望你们两位愿意履行你们签署的协议，如果你们还记得的话，该协议引用了明尼苏达州工具条款，该条款确保我们为明确目的自由进入场所收割我们的财产。
Mister Miller then continues, I sincerely hope you two are willing to honor the agreement you signed, which if you recall, makes reference to the Minnesota doctrine of implements that ensures us free access to the premises for the express purpose of harvesting our property.
查看链接以明确。
View link for clarity.
感谢您的理解与合作。
Thank you for understanding and your cooperation.
周六见。
See you Saturday.
安迪，安迪，安迪。
Andy, Andy, Andy.
事情是这样的。
Here's the thing.
还有一种方法可以略读合同。
There is also a way to go about skimming contracts.
对吧？
Right?
就像有些条款写着，我们承诺免责，然后你知道，我们就进入诉讼程序。
Like, there are clauses where it's like, we promise to hold harmless and, you know, we we go into litigation.
这是纽约的法庭。
It's a New York court.
就像是，对，随便浏览那些东西。
It's like, yeah, sure, skim those things.
如果你看到类似'点击此处链接'的内容，比如你不熟悉的明尼苏达州奇怪法规，那你真的得仔细阅读这些内容。
If you see something that is like, link here, like weird Minnesota statute that you don't otherwise know, like, you have to actually read those things.
明白吗？
Okay?
拜托，安迪。
Come on, Andy.
你有没有
Have you
以前听说过'工具主义原则'吗？
ever heard the phrase doctrine of implements before?
我...我得说实话。
I I'm gonna be honest.
我甚至不确定你说的那个词听起来像是个名词，但我不知道它具体指代什么。
I'm not even sure what that word the word that you're saying sounds like it is a noun, but I do not know to what that is referring.
而且艾琳也是同样的反应。
Also, Erin in the same position.
她一脸'这他妈是什么玩意儿？'的表情
She's like, what the fuck is this?
如果她读过合同的话可能听说过，但是听着，玻璃房就在那边（指自己也不该批评别人）
And she might have heard of it if she had read the contract, but listen, glasshouse is over here.
我也没资格说别人。
I can't really be talking.
所以艾琳就在问'这他妈的工具主义原则到底是什么？'
So Eren's like, what the fuck is the doctrine of implements?
安迪说，根据他附上的法律文件，这是关于农作物的事情。
And Andy's like, based on the legal document he attached, it's something about crops.
于是亚伦打开了米勒先生
So Aaron opens the legal document that Mr.
在邮件中附上的法律文件。
Miller had attached to his email.
她读到'农场租户权利保障'这一句后，立即关闭文件转去谷歌搜索，结果发现维基百科页面上写着'耕作权保障原则'旨在保障农民即使失去土地所有权，仍有权收获并带走其劳动成果。
She reads the phrase farm tenants right to enablements, and then immediately closes the document before going to Google, where she finds a Wikipedia page that states that the doctrine of implements operates to guarantee the farmer's right to reap and carry away the fruits of his labor, even if he loses title to the land on which they are grown.
好吧。
Alright.
我知道这是我作为沿海精英的观点，但这简直就是像'夏令时'一样莫名其妙——我们为什么要对农业游说团体如此卑躬屈膝？
I know this is my coastal elite perspective, but this is some, like, daylight savings ass, what why do we bend over backwards for the farm lobby bullshit?
懂了吗？
Okay?
你确实失去了所有权。
You've lost title indeed.
你这话是什么意思？
Like, what do you mean?
这就是这个国家的运作方式。
Like, that is that is how this country works.
明白了吗？
Alright?
你知道那块地是谁的吗？
You know, who owns that land?
抱歉我在这件事上显得太资本主义了。
Sorry to be too capitalist about this.
但我们确实生活在一个资本主义社会，这些就是法律规定的，除非我们为农民另立条款。
But, like, those are we do operate in a capitalist society, and those are what the laws are, I guess, unless we carve it out for the farmers.
我们经常这么做。
Which we do very often.
没错。
That's right.
政府也会在这里购买一些大豆。
The government's gonna buy some soybeans here also.
这与那个大事件押上韵了。
It is rhyming with that big time.
所以，艾琳读到，器具原则通常适用于那些在收获前失去租赁土地权利的佃农。
So, Erin reads that the doctrine of implements usually pertains to tenant farmers who lose access to the land they were leasing before harvest.
好吧。
Okay.
而且艾琳又不是律师
And Erin's no lawyer.
但她觉得，我们买了房子
But she's like, we bought our house.
我每个月都在还房贷
I'm paying the mortgage every month.
那房产不应该是我们的吗？
Wouldn't that make the property ours?
这种情况下你会怎么做？
What would you do at this point?
首先，让我退一步说，我支持这里的租户权利。
First, let me just backtrack and say, I support the tenants' rights here.
我之前并不清楚自己在说什么。
I did not know what I was talking about.
既然你向我解释得更详细了，好吧，我站在劳动者这边。
Now that you explained more to me, all right, I am on labor side.
人们应该能够收获自己劳动的果实。
People should be able to harvest the fruits of their own labor.
让我重新梳理一下。
So let me just back up.
让我这么说吧。
Let me just say that.
稍等。
Hold on.
我刚才说了些关于资本主义的言论，现在想温和地收回那些话。
I started saying some stuff about capitalism, and I just want to walk that back gently.
好吗？
Okay?
这是事实。
That's real.
这是事实。
That's real.
我已经讲过关于金融和对冲基金的整个故事了。
I already told this whole story about finance and hedge funds.
我得确保人们明白我站在哪一边。
Like, I gotta I to make sure people understand what side I'm on here.
好吗？
Okay?
不。
No.
确实如此。
It's true.
好吧。
Okay.
我实际的回答是，我会想办法联系一位真正了解明尼苏达州法律的律师。
My actual answer here is I would figure out how to get in touch with a lawyer who actually knows Minnesota laws.
所以，你知道，这可不是随便打电话给法学院学生的朋友的朋友。
So, you know, it's not like call a friend of a friend who's in law school.
我觉得你可能得开始花钱才能搞清楚这是怎么回事。
Like, I think you sort of have to start paying up to figure out what this is.
是啊。
Yeah.
亚伦和安迪意见一致。
Aaron and Andy are on the same page.
他们还说，我们已经为相关事宜付过钱了。
And they're like, we've already paid somebody related to this.
于是他们决定给房产经纪人发邮件。
So they decide to email their realtor.
然后他们把米勒先生发来的所有邮件
So they forward all the emails that Mr.
连同亚伦关于农具法的研究资料一起转发过去。
Miller has sent along with Aaron's research on implement laws.
房产经纪人回复说：这纯属胡扯。
And the realtor responds like, this is bullshit.
合同里根本没提这回事。
There is nothing about this in the contract.
就算有，农具法原则也不适用，因为你家后院又不是农场。
And even if there was, the Doctrine of Implements wouldn't apply here since your backyard is not a farm.
艾琳胜利了。
Erin, she's victorious.
她心想：我终于可以光明正大地让这家伙滚蛋了，从十一月份起我就想这么做了。
She's like, I finally have the green light to tell this man to fuck off, which I have been wanting to do since November.
现在已经是五月中旬了。
And it is almost mid May at this point.
她积攒了数月的花园相关怒火，如果算上童年创伤的话，甚至有好几年。
She's got months of pent up garden related rage, years, if you count her childhood trauma.
于是艾琳坐下来，用键盘咔嗒咔嗒地敲了一封邮件。
So Erin sits down, little clickety clack keyboard to write an email.
她写道：'我们已联系房产经纪人寻求指导，因为坦率地说，这个要求让我们感到措手不及。'
She's like, we have reached out to our realtor for guidance because quite frankly, we feel blindsided by this request.
我们的经纪人已确认合同中并未提及郁金香。
Our realtor confirmed to us that there is no mention of tulips in our contract.
此外，您引用的条款并不适用于当前情况。
Furthermore, the doctrine you cite above does not apply to this situation.
我们是该房产的合法所有者，包括这些郁金香。
We are the legal owners of this property, including the tulips.
虽然我们不认同您与我们沟通的方式，但能看出这些郁金香对您意义重大。
And while we don't appreciate the way you've engaged with us, it's clear how much these tulips mean to you.
出于礼貌，我们将咨询我们的房产经纪人，以确定最佳的前进方案。
So as a courtesy, we will be consulting with our realtor as to the best way forward.
也许你可以从她的办公室拿几颗郁金香球茎。
Perhaps you can pick up a few bulbs from her office.
艾琳·南迪干得漂亮。
Good for Erin Nandy.
艾琳发完邮件后心想，你知道吗？
Erin sends his email and is like, you know what?
其实我是个仁慈的狠角色。
Actually, I'm a benevolent bitch.
我本可以更强势的。
I could have gone harder.
不得不说，这封邮件写得很专业。
I gotta say, that is a real professional email.
我认为这种程度的强硬恰到好处。
I think that is appropriately aggressive.
我认为问题在于我很欣赏这位房产经纪人直言不讳的态度。
I think the trouble here is I appreciate the realtor not being mealy mouthed.
对吧？
Right?
我本可以想象房产经纪人会说'这不关我的事'。
I could have imagined the realtor being like, this is not my business.
比如'你去问问别人吧'。
Like, you you go ask somebody else.
另一方面，房产经纪人毕竟不是律师。
On the other hand, realtors are not lawyers.
所以当她说这是胡说八道时，我不确定是否该相信。
And so I don't know that I believe the realtor when she says this is bullshit.
出于尊重，我母亲也是房产经纪人，我并不是在贬低整个行业。
And respectfully, my mother my mother is a realtor, so I'm not I'm not decent realtors writ large.
我只是想说，我母亲成为优秀房产经纪人的原因并非她的法律造诣。
I'm just saying her legal acumen is not why my mother is a good realtor.
好吗？
Okay?
更重要的是友善的态度和优质的客户服务。
It's more about, like, a friendly demeanor and, like, good customer service.
这不是重点。
Like, that's not what this is.
稍后请记住这一点。
Keep that in mind for a little bit later.
但在讨论之前，你认为米勒先生
But before we get to that, do you think Mr.
会同意亚伦是个善良的混蛋吗？
Miller will agree that Aaron is a benevolent bitch?
我又想起了西恩·潘。
Again, I have Sean Penn in my head.
所以，不会。
And so, no.
我认为他会采取报复性升级行动。
I think he is going to escalate in retaliation.
是啊。
Yeah.
先生。
Mr.
米勒先生说，最好的办法是我周六九点来取我的130颗郁金香球茎。
Miller is like, the best way forward is for me to come get my 130 Tulip bulbs on Saturday at nine hundred.
然后他又说，没有他的监督一颗球茎都不能挖。
And then he's like, do not harvest a single bulb without my supervision.
这是个高度技术性的流程。
It is a highly technical process.
安迪这时候已经快喘不过气了。
Andy is like hyperventilating at this point.
他说，要是他真的来了我们该怎么办？
He's like, what are we gonna do if he actually comes here?
你看到那个男人有多壮了吗？
Did you see how big that man is?
亚伦说，这就是原因。
Aaron's like, this is why.
你本该在十一月份就按我说的让他滚蛋。
You should have told him to fuck off in November like I told you to.
那你觉得我们的朋友现在有什么选择？
So what options do you think our friends have here?
假设他们不想报警。
Let's assume they don't wanna involve the cops.
听着，一方面，你完全可以让他过来处理郁金香的事。
Look, on one end, you could very well just let him show up and do the Tulip stuff.
再说，他又不会去翻你地下室的私人物品。
Again, it's not like he is going to go rifling through your stuff in your basement.
他只是想去后院把东西取出来而已。
Like, he just wants to go around back and just get the stuff out.
是啊。
Yeah.
但这未免也太容易妥协了。
But that is capitulating rather easily.
不。
No.
确实如此。
It's true.
所以，我也不知道。
So, I don't know.
你知道，另一个极端做法就是直接把所有郁金香都挖出来扔在花园前面，这样他来的时候只会看到一堆死掉的郁金香球茎。
You know, on the other end of the spectrum, just like digging it all up and dumping it out in front of the garden so when he shows up, he just sees a bunch of dead tulip bulbs.
我觉得这种做法也不是完全不可行。
I don't think that is out of the question either.
你知道，或许还有比这两个选择更好的折中方案，但无论他们选择哪个方向我都不会责怪他们。
You you know, there's probably some middle ground here that is better than either of those options, but I would not blame them for going in either direction.
是啊。
Yeah.
幸运的是，我们的朋友不必做这个选择，因为在米勒先生最后一封邮件发出几小时后，亚伦接到了她和安迪的房产经纪人的电话，对方说'你绝对想不到'。
Luckily for our friends, they don't have to make that choice because a couple hours after mister Miller's last email, Aaron gets a call from her and Andy's realtor who's like, you're not gonna believe this.
显然，米勒家的房产经纪人已经联系上了她。
Apparently, the Miller's real estate agent had gotten in contact with her.
米勒家的房产经纪人说：'我的客户刚联系我，说了一些关于郁金香的事'。
And the Miller's real estate agent had been like, my client has just got in touch with me about some tulips.
然后他表示：'我完全不明白米勒先生'
And then he's like, I had no idea what Mr.
在说什么。
Miller was talking about.
所以我咨询了我的同事。
So I talked to my colleague.
就在这一刻，亚伦和安迪才得知：在他们房屋销售过程中途，米勒家更换了房产经纪人。
And this is the moment that Aaron and Andy learned that halfway through their home selling process, the Millers had switched real estate agents.
他们的第一位经纪人去休产假了。
Their first agent had gone on maternity leave.
在更换第二位经纪人期间，米勒家关于五月收获郁金香的非常具体的要求被遗漏了。
During the switch of the second one, the miller's very specific request about harvesting the tulips in May had gotten lost.
哦，所以合同里没写这条？
Oh, so it's not in the contract?
合同里没写这条。
It's not in the contract.
好吧，那这他妈就不是他们的问题了。
All right, that's not their fucking problem then.
显然，因为安迪一直非常礼貌地回复他的邮件，
Apparently, because Andy kept replying so nicely to his emails, Mr.
米勒先生一直以为双方对郁金香的事达成了默契。
Miller had been operating under the assumption that there was a mutual understanding about the tulips.
这就是他如此生气的原因。
This is why he'd gotten so upset.
他以为亚伦和安迪决定私吞这些郁金香。
He thought that Aaron and Andy had just decided to keep them for themselves.
亚伦和安迪的房产经纪人表示，米勒先生感到非常尴尬，并希望表达他最诚挚的歉意。
Aaron and Andy's real estate agent is like, mister Miller is very embarrassed, and he wishes to convey his deepest apologies.
好吧。
Okay.
事情是这样的。
Here's the thing.
格伦·米勒，我全程都在说，是个正直的人。
Glenn Miller, I've said it the whole story, is a stand up guy.
明白吗？
Okay?
我从未回放过录音。
I have never play the tape back.
我从未说过一句负面的话。
I have never said a negative thing.
我从未暗示过任何事。
I've never implied anything.
太对了。
So true.
除了格伦·米勒作为军人，非常正直。
Except that Glenn Miller, as a military man, very upstanding.
明白吗？
Alright?
高度道德。
Highly ethical.
就是我们众所周知热爱崇拜的美军。
The military the American military that we famously love and adore.
没错。
That's right.
是的。
Yes.
我们的故事已接近尾声。
We are almost at the end of our story.
你觉得这里面有反派角色吗？
Do you think there are any villains here?
说实话，在这种误会下大家表现得都挺理智的。
Honestly, everyone is behaving reasonably well with that misunderstanding.
就连房产中介也是——当人们休假时交接工作确实不容易。
Even the realtors, I'm like, yeah, handing off stuff when people go out on leave, that's tough.
本该有人发现这个问题的，但你知道，难免会有疏漏。
Somebody should have caught it, but, you know, it happens.
所以听到没人做出格的事，我真的很欣慰。
So I'm I'm very pleased to hear that nobody is acting really out of pocket here.
是啊。
Yeah.
这个进展缓和了艾琳对先生的敌意。
This development softens Erin's feelings towards Mr.
米勒。
Miller.
她说，听着，我是一名执业护士。
She's like, Listen, I'm a nurse practitioner.
我理解。
I get it.
你花了三年多时间做一件事，难免会有点抓狂。
You spend more than three years working on something and you just go a little bit crazy.
所以，好吧。
So, fine.
于是她和安迪给米勒夫妇发了邮件，表示感谢他们的道歉。
So she and Andy, they email the millers, they're like, we appreciate the apology.
随后他们提出了一个我认为非常善意的提议——愿意收获一半的郁金香球茎，并在周六早上九点整放在门外。
And then they extend what I think is a very kind offer, which is they offer to harvest half of the tulip bulbs and leave them out on Saturday morning at nine hundred hours.
好的。
Okay.
他们将收获65颗郁金香球茎。
They're gonna harvest 65 of the tulip bulbs.
然后
And then
你算得真快。
You did that math so fast.
没错，宝贝。
That's right, baby.
我可是掌管你们公司财务的人。
I'm in charge of your company's finances.
我得把130除以2。
I gotta divide one thirty by half.
好吧。
Okay.
但另外65颗郁金香他们打算自己留着？
But the other 65 tulips are just gonna be they're keeping them?
他们打算
They're letting
是啊。
Yeah.
因为它们太漂亮了。
Because they're so pretty.
哦，对啊。
Oh, yeah.
没错。
Right.
说得对。
That's right.
艾琳后来也喜欢上这些郁金香了。
Erin came around on liking the tulips.
好吧。
Okay.
这其实太棒了。
That's actually that's great.
我太喜欢了。
I love that.
是啊。
Yeah.
米勒一家接受了，交接进行得非常顺利。
The millers accept, and the handoff goes really smoothly.
比如米勒
Like Mrs.
太太亲自来取郁金香。
Miller comes by herself to pick up the tulips.
尽管亚伦和安迪挖了65颗球茎，但她只拿了30颗。
And she only takes 30 of the bulbs even though Aaron and Andy had dug up 65.
米勒
Mrs.
米勒太太甚至还为所有麻烦道歉。
Miller even apologizes for all the trouble.
她说，我对我丈夫的行为感到非常抱歉。
She's like, I'm so sorry about my husband.
我以为带他进城能让他不那么痴迷这些郁金香。
I thought getting him into the city would make him less obsessed with these tulips.
但你们不会再被他打扰了。
But you should not have any more trouble with him.
芭芭拉·米勒，另外，我从没说过芭芭一句坏话。
Barbara Miller, also, I've never said one negative word about Barb.
对吧？
Okay?
没错。
Nope.
芭芭·米勒。
Barb Miller.
芭布和格伦。
Barb and Glenn.
芭布和格伦。
Barb and Glenn.
他们是我的自己人。
They're my people.
现在他们给你留了100株美丽的郁金香？
And now they've left you with a 100 beautiful tulips?
那太好了。
That's great.
是啊。
Yeah.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且芭布·米勒给艾琳和安迪留了她的号码，以防再出什么麻烦。
And Barb Miller leaves Erin and Andy with her number just in case any other trouble comes up.
这个号码几乎立刻就派上了用场，因为就在米勒太太离开几小时后。
This does end up coming in handy almost immediately because a few hours after Mrs.
米勒太太刚取走郁金香，米勒先生。
Miller picks up the tulips, Mr.
就发来邮件说：'这连球茎总数的四分之一都不到'。
Miller sends an email like, this is less than a quarter of the bulbs.
剩下的在哪里？
Where are the rest?
艾琳立刻给芭芭拉打了电话。
Erin immediately on the phone with Barb.
十分钟后，她和安迪又收到米勒先生的邮件，说：'我妻子已告知我获得了正确数量的球茎'。
And then ten minutes later, she and Andy receive another email from mister Miller who says, I was informed by my wife that the correct amount of bulbs were obtained.
感谢你们对此事的关注。
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
我们的故事到此结束。
And that's the end of our story.
好的。
Alright.
没有反派角色。
No villains.
大家都很守规矩
Everyone's behaving
没有反派角色。
No villains.
看吧，你中途说过事情不会有好结果。
See, you said halfway through that nothing that it wouldn't end well.
结局很棒。
It ended great.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
我...我们...我之前在诋毁安迪。
I we were I was maligning Andy.
关于 Bayt 播客
Bayt 提供中文+原文双语音频和字幕，帮助你打破语言障碍，轻松听懂全球优质播客。