杰伊必听推荐：七种疗愈悲伤的工具——当其他方法都失效时为你带来慰藉（嘉宾：凯特·卡西迪 & 泰勒·希尔）

当她提醒我这一点时，我说：等等，再说一遍。

When she reminded me of that, I said, okay, wait, say it again.

我得把它写下来。

I have to write this down.

再说一遍。

It again.

这太棒了。

That is so good.

是啊。

Yeah.

但她对我说：宝贝，这就是真相。

But she said, baby, that's what it is.

这是一张收据。

It's a receipt.

它可能来自母亲、父亲、姐妹、兄弟、狗、猫，任何东西都可以。

And it could be a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a dog, cat, whatever.

你曾经深爱、却已消失或改变形态的事物。

Something that you love that is no longer there that has changed form.

即使是最平静的转变，悲伤也是你曾深爱的证明。

Even if it's the most peaceful transition, the grief is proof that you loved.

你知道，悲伤在大多数时候都是如此。

You know, the grief is most of the time.

而且还有很多悲伤伴随着遗憾和其他情绪。

And there's a lot of grief also where there's regrets and all that.

理解这一点。

Understand that.

我尊重所有形式的悲伤。

I respect all forms of grief.

但它就是一张收据。

But it is it's a receipt.

是的。

Yeah.

一张证明你曾被爱、你也曾深爱的收据。

A receipt that you loved and you were loved.

我也曾被爱。

And I was loved.

是的。

Yeah.

深深地。

Deeply.

嗯。

Mhmm.

深深地。

Deeply.

书里有一句话，我真的觉得它以一种令人豁然开朗的方式改变了我的视角，哦，我只是觉得这句话仿佛直接体现了并捕捉到了一切。

This one line in the book, you really I just felt it was perspective shifting in a way that, oh, I just just feel like that statement just like, you know, you just embodied and captured everything.

你说，尽管母亲的离世令人震惊，但她的一生却是美好的。

And you said that even though your mother's death was shocking, her life was beautiful.

所以想象一下，尽管结局如此悲惨，她的一生却是美好的，这正是你所庆祝的。

So imagine even though the end was so terrible, her life was beautiful and that's what you're celebrating.

这正是你所强调、聚焦并赋予光芒的部分。

That's what you're putting emphasis and focus and your light on.

我发现这非常困难，因为当我们失去某人时，很容易、自然、正常地陷入对如何失去他们、如何与他们告别的执念，而那实际上是我们经历的最短暂的时光。

I find that's very difficult because when we lose someone it's so easy and natural again and normal and that's when it's normal for us to obsess over how we lost someone and how we left them, which is the shortest amount of time we actually experienced the most mostly.

但我们拥有漫长的一生，而大脑、记忆和心灵却如此擅长只聚焦于终点。

But we have all of this time, but the brain and our memory and our mind is so good at just fixating on the end.

终点，而不是人生。

The end and not the life.

是的，而不是人生。

Yeah, and not the life.

我曾经

And I had

要说到‘和’。

to get to the and.

所以我以前总说‘但是，但是，但是’。

So I used to say but, but, but.

然后我意识到，等等，我可以两者兼得。

And then I realized, wait, I can have both.

这令人震惊、可怕且伤痛。

This is shocking and terrible and hurtful.

我会庆祝她的生命。

And I'm gonna celebrate her life.

我会回想那些美好的时光。

And I'm gonna think of the good times.

我会努力回想所有能让我微笑的美好回忆。

And I'm gonna try and think of all the great memories that'll bring a smile to my face.

所以，‘但是’不再存在了。

So it was no longer a but.

一旦我把‘但是’改成‘而且’，我就无需再做选择，我可以同时做到两者，在生活中带着震惊、创伤、压力，以及她生命的美好、她生活的方式、她所给予的能量继续前行。

And once I changed but to and, I didn't have to choose which one I was gonna do both and move through life with the shock and the trauma and the stress and the beauty of her life, the beauty of how she lived, the energy of what she gave.

所以我当时带着所有的能量前行。

So I was moving with all energies.

直到我转变了想法，因为我确实一直陷在‘但是’里，觉得这事发生了。

And it was only until I shifted because I was definitely in the But this happened.

所以我不知道自己以后还能怎么笑出来。

So I don't know how I could ever smile again.

但这事发生了，太悲惨了。

But this happened and it was so tragic.

而当我一说出‘这事发生了，很悲惨，但我还是要积极思考’的时候。

And then as soon as I said, this happened and it's tragic and I'm gonna think positively.

我要积极地思考。

I'm gonna think constructively.

你知道，我爸爸总是对我说：‘姑娘，保持心态端正。’

You know, my dad always used to say to me, girl, keep your mind right.

保持心态端正。

Keep your mind right.

每天都要钉死你的思想。

Crucify your mind every day.

你必须保持心态端正。

You gotta keep your mind right.

这真的帮助了我。

And so that really helped me.

你知道吗，我的朋友T.D.杰克斯给我打了电话，他说：我理解你很生气。

You know, and that my friend, TD Jakes had called me and he said, I understand you're angry.

当然，感到愤怒以及你正在经历的所有情绪都是正常的。

Of course, it's normal to be angry and all the things you're feeling.

但我有个问题要问你。

But I have a question for you.

你希望你的注意力集中在她生命的最后五分钟吗？

Do you want your focus to be on her last five minutes?

还是你会专注于那八十一年？

Or are you gonna focus on the eighty one years

嗯。

Mhmm.

她活过来了？

That she lived?

嗯。

Mhmm.

这是你的选择，你每天都要做出选择。

And it's your choice, and you have to choose every day.

你要专注于哪一个？

Which one are you gonna focus on?

你是要给他那五分钟，那五分钟的创伤，还是要专注于那八十一年？

You're gonna give him five minutes, the five minutes and the trauma, or are you gonna focus on the eighty one years?

我记得，泪流满面地想着，

And I remember it through all my tears, went,

那八十一年，那八十一年。

the eighty one years, the eighty one years.

那确实很美，因为他帮助我转变了心态。

And it was but it was beautiful because he helped me shift.

我每天都必须去面对这一点。

And I had to go to that every day.

他并不是每天只说一次，而是每次都很有挑战性，杰伊，每次我都想放弃。

It wasn't like he'd said it But one every day and every time it was very challenging for me, Jay, and every time I did want to quit.

有些日子我根本停不下来，但有时候你必须在生命中按下暂停键。

And there were days where I didn't stop all the time, but you need sometimes you have to push pause in life.

有些日子我会躺在床上，只是静静地躺着，思考或不思考，就那样躺着。

And there were days where I would lay in the bed and just lay there and be still and think or not think and just lay there.

但我仍然决定专注于她81年的人生，专注于我爱她的那些方面，专注于她对生活、社会和他人的贡献，以及她如何让别人感受到温暖。

And I but I still decided to focus on her 81 and to focus on what I loved about her and to focus on her contributions to life and society and other people and how she made people feel.

太有力量了。

So powerful.

对我而言，这种转变是，你知道的，我想每天提醒自己，关于我失去的那些人，这真的像一份珍贵的礼物，这份建议和洞见。

That shift for me was, you know, was like that I can, that's something I'd like to remind myself every day with the people that I've lost like that, that really felt like a real gift that that gem of advice and insight.

谢谢。

Thank you.

尼科尔告诉我们，悲伤是你深爱的证明，而宽恕并不是否认发生过的事。

Nicole teaches us that grief is the proof that you love deeply and that forgiveness isn't about denying what happened.

而是拒绝让悲剧使你的心变得坚硬。

It's about refusing to let tragedy harden your heart.

而是找到一种方法，让爱成为你疗愈过程中的核心，并选择珍视积极的一面。

It's about finding a way to keep love at the center of your healing and choosing to cherish the positive.

当我们的下一位嘉宾卡兰·乔哈尔得知父亲被诊断出癌症时，他突然意识到他们之间还有太多未说出口的话。

When our next guest Karan Johar learned that his father was diagnosed with cancer, he suddenly realized how much had been left unsaid between them.

他们开始谈论生命、死亡和爱。

They began having conversations about life, death, and love.

那些他们以前从未敢进行的对话。

Connections they had never dared to have before.

许多失去亲人的人表示，他们多么希望还能有一次对话，再多一点时间，告诉对方一些重要的事情，以免为时已晚。

So many people who lose a loved one report wishing for just one more conversation, one more beat to tell them something important before it's too late.

虽然我们无法总是控制告别何时到来，但卡兰的故事提醒我们，诚实带来的疗愈力量，以及我们不应等待直到为时已晚才说出最重要的那些话。

And while we can't always control when goodbyes come, Karan's story is a reminder of the healing that comes from honesty and why we shouldn't wait to say what matters most.

你的生活会停止吗？

Can your life stop?

不会，你必须继续前行。

No, you have to move on.

没有什么比失去挚爱更糟糕的了，但你最终必须接受这个事实——它已经发生了。

Nothing is worse than losing a loved one, But you eventually have to come to terms with the fact that it's happened.

这就是为什么需要一个句号。

That's why there's a full stop.

因为下一个句子必须开始。

Because the next sentence has to begin.

所以，只有当这个句号被真正承认后，你才能重新开始，然后继续前行。

So it's only can start when that full stop is registered and then you move on.

我就是这样看待生命的。

I look at life like that.

不管出什么问题，该发生的总会发生。

Whatever goes wrong is going to go wrong.

生活不可能一直快乐。

Nothing is gonna be constantly happy.

生活也不可能一直悲伤。

Nothing is gonna be constantly sad.

这就是你需要去理解生活的方式。

It's the way you have to kind of just understand life.

也许因为小时候我经历了一段艰难的时期，所以我为自己筑起了心防，以至于今天我能以这样的态度看待一切。

And and maybe because as a child I had such a rough patch, I think I kind of armored myself for me to, you know, feel the way I do today about anything.

你失去过谁，那个句点对你来说很难划下？

Who have you lost that that full stop was hard to

我父亲。

My father.

他去世时比我想象的早得多，那时他才七十出头。

He passed away much earlier than I ever imagined when he was in his early seventies.

他非常健康，身体活跃，没有任何不良嗜好。

And very healthy, on his feet, active man, no vices.

有一天，他突然被诊断出食管有四期肿瘤，我们后来才得知，那时已经发展到四期了。

He just one day had a fourth stage tumor in his esophagus, which we found out much later when it was in his fourth stage.

随后发展成了全面的癌症。

And that went into full blown cancer.

从确诊到他去世，只过了十个月。

And he passed from the time of the diagnosis to the point of him passing away was ten months.

我是个现实主义者。

I'm a realist.

我不是乐观主义者，也不是悲观主义者。

I'm not an optimist or a pessimist.

我是个现实主义者。

I'm a realist.

于是我去找了肿瘤科医生，当时我们正在意外地拍摄一部关于一个垂死之人的影片《Kalhonaho》。

So I went to the oncologist and we were surprisingly filming Kalhonaho, which is about a man dying.

这是一部关于一个垂死之人的影片。

And it is about a man dying.

我们在纽约时，我去见了我的肿瘤科医生，说：你看，我父亲的情况，告诉我，给我讲讲真实的情况。

We were in New York and I went to my oncologist and said, look, my father, you know, and like tell me, give me the hard fact.

他说：你看，情况不乐观。

And he said, look, it doesn't look good.

我当时想：好吧，我现在知道了。

And I was like, okay, now I know this.

我知道情况不乐观。

Then I know it doesn't look good.

我们会尽一切医疗手段来尽力。

And we'll do everything in our capacity medically to kind of you know.

但我说，我不想看到他受苦。

But I said I don't want to see him in pain.

奇怪的是，他最难熬的五天正是接受化疗的那五天。

And actually oddly the five days that he had a tough time were the five days of his chemotherapy.

那些是化疗之后艰难的日子。

Those were the tough days, subsequent days to the chemotherapy.

但实际上，除了那五天之外的另外十个月，给了我大量时间陪伴他，让我们进行了我从未想过会进行的对话。

But actually those ten day other months, besides those five days, gave me so much time that I could spend with him that I had conversations I never thought I would be discussed.

关于我的童年，我们谈到了他的早年生活、他的成就、失败、遗憾和喜悦。

My childhood, we discussed his early years, we discussed his achievements, his failures, his regrets, his joys.

我与父亲的关系有了完整的了结，因为我没有任何未解的问题。

I have complete closure with my relationship with my father because I have no unanswered questions.

因为在那十个月里，我没有像无头苍蝇一样四处奔走，试图让他活下去。

Because in those ten months, I wasn't running around like a headless chicken trying to keep him alive.

我接受了他可能离世的事实。

I had accepted that he may go.

在那几个月里，我和他活在当下。

And in those months, I lived in the moment with him.

我得以进行所有那些我本想早些时候和他进行的对话，但我没有。

And I was able to have all those conversations that I would have loved to have had with him earlier, but I didn't.

但这十个月给了我这些。

But now those ten months gave me that.

我甚至告诉了我妈妈。

And I even told my mom.

我对她说，去和他聊聊吧。

I was like, talk to him.

和他谈谈吧。

Speak to him.

但她很难接受这个现实。

But she was finding very tough to accept the situation.

所以她做不到。

So she couldn't.

这就是为什么她至今仍未释怀。

And that's why she still doesn't have closure.

自从他去世已经过去了二十年，她仍然无法面对他的离世，而她今年已经82岁了。

Twenty years have passed since he passed away, and she still has not been able to deal with his passing away and she's 82 years old today.

而我实际上已经完全释怀了，因为我与父母之间进行了所有我曾梦想过的对话。

Whereas I actually have complete closure because I had every conversation I could have dreamt of having with a parent I did.

这就是为什么我总是告诉人们：今天就要沟通，因为明天可能就来不及了。

And I that's why I always tell people like communicate today because there may not be a tomorrow.

今天就告诉他们任何你想说的事。

Tell them today anything.

你有困扰，有怨恨，有原生家庭的创伤，你必须今天就开口说。

You have a problem, you have resentment issues, you have parental trauma, you've got to speak today.

因为今天的沟通就是解决之道，就是你所寻求的帮助，是所有问题的答案。

Because today communication is the resolve, is the is the aid that you're looking for, is the solution to every problem.

我认为，在印度的育儿体系中，我们并不特别强调沟通，我们更注重尊重。

We don't talk specifically, I think, in our parenting structure in India, we have respect.

而尊重有时意味着疏远。

And respect sometimes equals distance.

嗯。

Mhmm.

嗯。

Yeah.

懂吗？

Know?

这种尊重不应当在关系中造成距离。

And that respect should not give you distance in a relationship.

尊重也应该是爱的亲密组成部分。

Respect should also be a close component of love.

它实际上应该赋予你与父母沟通的能力。

It should actually give you the ability to communicate to your parent.

尊重你的父母并不意味着你不能表达自己的想法。

Just because you respect your father and mother doesn't mean you can't say what you want.

父母并不总是对的。

Parents are not always correct.

他们并不是一直在对你讲正确的话。

It's not that they are saying the right thing to you all the time.

他们背负着父母的包袱。

They are carrying the baggage of their parents.

然后把那些包袱转嫁到你身上。

And they put that baggage onto you.

而你可能并不需要这些，也不该承受这些。

And you may not need it or you shouldn't have it.

你必须保持畅通的沟通渠道。

And you have to kind of have an open line of channel.

你依然可以保持尊重。

And you can still respectful.

永远不要不尊重，因为这是我们传统和文化教导我们的。

Never not be respectful because that's something that our tradition teaches us, our culture teaches us.

但我一直告诉人们，要与父母保持开放的沟通渠道，因为他们并不总是对的。

But please, I always tell people, keep an open channel of communication with your parent because they may not always be correct.

他们并不总是正确的。

They may not always be right.

他们的建议或价值观可能并不适合你。

They may not be right advice or value system may not be good for you.

你有时必须对此提出质疑。

And you have to sometimes question it.

是的。

Yeah.

当然。

For sure.

在那段时期，你有没有问过某个具体的问题，或者记得某次特别愉快的对话？你说你每件事都问了，每个问题都提了，有没有哪一次特别突出？

Was there a specific question you asked or a conversation you remember fondly from that time as you said, you had every conversation, you asked every question, is there one that stands out?

我问他有没有什么遗憾，他跟我谈了很多关于他与父母和兄弟姐妹的关系，以及他认为自己在事业上做错了什么。

I asked him whether he has any regrets, you know, and he spoke to me widely about like his relationship with his parents and his siblings and you know, what he thought he did wrong as even career wise.

他还谈到自己如何被利用，没有在恰当的时候采取行动。

And how he thought he was taken for a ride, he didn't act on it at right time.

由于一些不谨慎的行为，他损失了很多钱，他对此坦诚相告。

He lost a lot of money because some of his indiscretions and you know, he spoke about that openly.

他还提到，有时候他有一些话想告诉我妈妈，但他不说，因为他不想伤害或让她难过。

He also spoke about the fact that like sometimes he has he has things he wants to tell my mom but he doesn't say it because he doesn't want to hurt or upset her.

他说，我希望我当时说了。

And he says, I wish I had.

然后他告诉我，他说，我希望我当初能多花点时间陪你。

Then he tells me, he told me like, you know, I wish I would have spent more time with you.

你本可以拥有更多，我希望我没有把体育强加到你的生活中。

You would have been I I wish I didn't incorporated sport in your life.

这会给你带来更多的感受，因为我相信体育不仅仅是对身体有益。

It would have given you a sense of much more like of because I believe sport is not just for physical health.

它还能以非常独特的方式锻炼你的思维。

It's also gives you it trains your mind very differently.

他说，因为我太忙于工作，所以没有足够多地与你积极互动。

And he said, I didn't spend enough active time with you because I was so busy working.

所以他向我倾诉了很多关于他的遗憾和当时的想法，我认为这对他自己也大有帮助。

So he told me a lot about his regrets and his thoughts at that time and I think it really helped him as well.

我觉得这给了他很大的释怀。

I think it kind of gave him so much closure.

我觉得这些对话对我来说非常珍贵。

And I think those conversations are very dear to me.

然后他给我写了一封十一页的信，而我根本不知道它存在。

And then he wrote an 11 page letter to me, which I didn't know existed.

在他去世后，这封信才交到我手里。

It was given to me post him passing away.

不可能吧。

No way.

他在信里写下了所有商业事务和账目，是一封详尽的技术性信件，说明了哪些账户、我们拥有的业务、你没有任何欠款。

Where he wrote all the business or the accounts and it was a technical letter of everything about like this is the account, these are the these are my like the businesses that we've this is you don't owe money to anyone.

一切都已经处理好了。

It's all done.

这是银行账户等信息，详细列出了当时的共同存款、资金以及所有投资情况。

This is where the bank account, etcetera, detailed mutual deposits, funds, whatever the investments were at that time.

他给了我一份手写的文件。

He gave me like an handwritten handwritten.

这是他亲手写的。

It was written by him in hand.

然后他列出了你可以信任的人、不可信任的人，以及永远不要做的事情。

And then he wrote people you can trust, people you can't trust, things you should never do.

就像它成了我的圣经一样。

Like he just it became my bible.

我几乎90%的内容都遵循了它。

And I've literally I think 90% of it is what I followed.

他给我写了一封十一页的信。

And he wrote me 11 page letter.

这简直难以置信。

That's unbelievable.

他以前曾经给你写过信吗？

Had he had he ever written you a letter before?

从来没有。

Never.

他知道他要走了。

He knew he was going.

是的。

Yeah.

所以他给我写了那封信。

So he wrote me that.

那不是一封情感化的信。

And it wasn't an emotional letter.

这是一封务实、深思熟虑、以商业为导向、面向未来的信。

It was a practical, thoughtful, business minded, future based letter.

信中全都是关于我的事，如何管理资金，我们有什么、没有什么，谁欠他钱。

It was all about me, how to manage the funds, what we have, what we don't have, who owes him money.

他还说，但永远不要主动去问他们，要等他们主动来找你，因为你知道，这一切都是出于善意。

And he said, but never ask them till they come to you because, you know, it was all given in good faith.

他说，我们不认识任何人，也不了解任何事。

And he said, we don't know anyone or anything.

所以如果有人来问，那都不是真的。

So if anyone comes and asks, it's not true.

他给了我每一个细节，而我这个人不懂商业、完全没有商业头脑，正是这份11页的文件，成了我当时前行的圣经。

And he gave me every single detail that me who was not business minded, had zero business acumen, needed that 11 pager that I followed as my bible to kind of forge forward at that time.

哇。

Wow.

这真是一份美好的礼物，是啊。

What a beautiful gift Yeah.

留给某人。

To leave someone.

这太有力量了。

That's so powerful.

是啊。

Yeah.

我以前从来没听过这种事。

I've never heard that before.

是啊。

Yeah.

我从来没听说过有人给孩子的遗赠是如此实际而周到的建议——比如该信任谁、不该信任谁。

I've never heard someone leaving their child a practical, thoughtful I mean, the idea of who to trust and who not to trust.

他从未写过任何‘我爱你’‘我会永远爱你’之类的话，我明白这一点。

He never wrote anything that I love you, will always and I understand that.

那些话已经说过了。

That was said already.

那都不是他要表达的。

It was none of that.

那不是一张贺卡式的信。

It was not a hallmark letter.

你知道的？

You know?

那是一封商业信件。

It was a it was a business letter.

这真是难以置信。

That's That's unbelievable.

感谢你分享这些。

Thank you for sharing that.

科琳娜的反思提醒我们，悲伤不仅仅是为失去的东西哀悼。

Corinne's reflections remind us that grief isn't just about mourning what we lose.

这也是关于珍惜我们仍然拥有的时光。

It's also about cherishing the moments we still have.

表达你感受的最佳时机永远是现在。

The best time to say what you feel is always now.

不要等到明天才去表达今天重要的事情。

Don't wait until tomorrow to express what matters today.

嘿。

Hey.

我是诺拉·琼斯，我非常热爱与人一起演奏音乐，因此我的播客《一起演奏》回归了。

I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.

我会邀请来自各种音乐风格的音乐家，在温馨的环境中一起演奏歌曲。

I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.

每一集都略有不同，但都围绕音乐和与我最喜爱的音乐家们的对话展开。

Every episode's a little bit different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.

在过去的两季中，我邀请了诸如戴夫·格罗尔、莱维、拉斐斯·韦恩赖特、雷米·沃尔夫、马尔克·雷比尔、梅维斯·斯台普斯等特别嘉宾，实在太多，无法一一列举。

Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Rufus Wainwright, Remy Wolf, Marc Rebier, Mavis Staples, really too many to name.

本季还将带来更多精彩内容，包括强大的迷幻二人组Black Pumas、我多年的老友兼长期创作伙伴杰西·哈里斯，以及传奇人物露辛达·威廉姆斯。

And there's still so much more to come in this new season, including the powerful psychedelic duo, Black Pumas, my old pal and longtime songwriting friend, Jesse Harris, and the legendary Lucinda Williams.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听诺拉·琼斯的《一起演奏》。

Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你好。

Hey there.

我是杰西·米尔斯医生。

Doctor Jesse Mills here.

我是加州大学洛杉矶分校健康中心男性诊所的主任，我想向你们介绍一下我的新播客《邮箱间》。

I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health, and I wanna tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom.

我是乔丹，这个节目的制作人。

And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.

和很多男性一样，我已经很多年没去看医生了。

And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years.

我会提出那些我们其实应该问但没问的问题。

I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking but aren't.

因为男性通常只有在脸部组织脱落或骨头断裂时才会去看医生。

Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone.

这得看是哪根骨头。

Depends which bone.

哇。

Wow.

确实如此。

That's true.

每周，我们都会深入探讨男性健康的独特领域，涵盖睾酮、健身、饮食、生育以及卧室里发生的事。

Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom.

你是说睡觉吗？

You mean sleep?

对。

Yeah.

差不多就是这样，乔丹。

Something like that, Jordan.

我们会用通俗易懂的语言讲解科学知识，为你提供真正关心问题的切实答案。

We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.

无论你是27岁、97岁，还是中间的任何年龄，都会觉得有趣。

It's gonna be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between.

男性健康不仅仅是六块腹肌和补品。

Men's Health is about more than six packs and supplements.

它关乎精力、自信和人际关系。

It's about energy, confidence, and connection.

我们不只想让你活得更久。

We don't just want you to live longer.

我们想让你活得更好。

We want you to live better.

所以请前往 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听喜爱节目的任何平台的邮件室查看。

So check out the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.

我是伊娃·朗格利亚。

I'm Eva Longoria.

我是梅塔戈梅斯约翰。

And I'm Maytagomezjohn.

在我们的播客《饥饿的历史》中，我们将两样我最爱的东西——食物和历史——结合起来。

And on our podcast, Hungry for History, we mix two of our favorite things, food and history.

古雅典人会把名字刻在牡蛎壳上，这些贝壳被称为‘陶片’，用于投票将政客放逐。

Ancient Athenians used to scratch names onto oyster shells, and they called these ostracon to vote politicians into exile.

因此，我们的单词‘ ostracized’（放逐）与‘oyster’（牡蛎）有关。

So our word ostracized is related to the word oyster.

不

No

可能。

way.

把 ostracism 重新带回吧。

Bring back the ostracon.

因为我们的节目氛围很友好，朋友们经常来串门。

And because we've got a very kind of vibe on our show, friends always stop by.

这个星球这一侧的几乎所有进入都是通过墨西哥湾。

Pretty much every entry into this side of the planet was through El Golfo de Mexico.

不是美国的。

Not the American.

不是美国的。

Not the American.

就像那样。

Like that.

墨西哥湾。

El Golfo de Mexico.

奇恩博西将永远持续下去。

Continuana Cienboci forever and ever.

墨西哥在这一时期如此进步，这让我惊叹不已。

It blows me away how progressive Mexico was in this in this moment.

他们实行了土地改革。

They had land reform.

他们保障了劳工权利。

They had labor rights.

他们保障了教育权利。

They had education rights.

芥菜籽对古埃及人来说如此珍贵，以至于他们将其放入墓穴中，以备来世使用。

Mustard seeds were so valuable to the ancient Egyptians that they used to place them in their tombs for the afterlife.

请收听《饥饿的历史》，它是《我的文化》播客网络的一部分，可在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您常用的任何播客平台收听。

Listen to hungry for History as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

悲伤不仅仅关于我们失去了谁，还关于我们失去了什么。

Grief isn't only about who we lose, but also what we lose.

一只宠物、一次怀孕、一个未来。

A pet, a pregnancy, a future.

对泰勒·希尔来说，悲伤以多种形式出现：流产的心碎和她心爱的狗泰特的离世。

For Taylor Hill, it came in many forms: the heartbreak of miscarriage and the loss of her beloved dog Tate.

这类损失常常被轻视或忽视。

These kinds of losses are often minimized or dismissed.

尽管已知怀孕中有百分之十到二十以流产告终，但许多女性表示，她们的悲伤并未得到他人的认可或支持。

Even though between ten and twenty percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, many women report that their grief is not validated or supported by others.

泰勒坦诚地谈论了这些损失带来的孤立感，但也强调了允许自己充分哀悼的重要性，无论别人怎么说。

Taylor speaks candidly about how isolating these losses can feel, but also about the importance of allowing yourself to mourn them fully, no matter what anyone else says.

让我们来看一看。

Let's take a look.

我刚才跟你说，过去两三年里，我有好几个朋友都经历了流产，我和她们交谈时，听到她们说有那么多压力、不知所措、负担，还有自我贬低，就是那种消极的自我对话。

I was saying to you that I've had multiple friends in the last two to three years who've all experienced a miscarriage and I talk to them and I'll hear from them and I see so much just stress, overwhelm, pressure, self degradation, like, you know, just negative self talk.

就像，即使很多人经历过，正如你所说，这仍然是最难熬的事情之一，但并不会因此变得更容易。

Like there's, it's one of the hardest things to go through even if everyone goes through it as you say, or not everyone, but so many people go through it, it doesn't make it any easier.

而且，正如你所说，这种经历常常让你感到如此孤独，以至于你不想跟任何人提起。

And often actually, like you said, it makes you so lonely that you don't want to talk to anyone about it.

是的。

Yeah.

知道别人也经历过，并不会让你感到安慰。

And it's not comforting to know other people have gone through it.

我想知道，在那段孤独的时期，是什么真正帮到了你？

I wonder in that lonely phase, like what was it that did help you?

甚至当你的朋友也经历时，你们是如何彼此支持，让这种陪伴变得温暖而有帮助，而不是让人感到不适和不健康？

And even when your friend went through it, allowed you to be there for each other in a way that was comforting and helpful rather than felt uncomfortable and unhealthy?

我需要独处。

I needed to be alone.

我需要去感受它。

I needed to, like, I needed to feel it.

我需要

I needed to

嗯。

Yeah.

沉浸其中。

Sit in it.

我不想谈论它，因为我不希望别人想为你提供支持。

I didn't wanna talk about it because I didn't want people wanna be there for you.

那真的很特别，也很有帮助，但我还不希望别人在我身边。

And that's really special and that's really helpful, but I didn't want people to be there for me yet.

我还没准备好让别人说：‘我很抱歉。’

I wasn't ready for people to be like, oh, I'm so sorry.

因为当人们面对悲伤或失去时，有时不知道该说什么。

Or, you know because people don't know what to say sometimes when it comes to grief or loss.

有时候，我也不知道该说什么。

Sometimes I don't know what to say either.

没什么

Have no

还不知道如何应对某些事情。

idea how to react to some things still.

经历过我自己的悲痛之后。

Having experienced my own version of grief.

你该如何陪伴某人？

How do you be there for somebody?

这是一件很难的事。

It's a difficult thing.

我的意思是，我不知道自己需要什么，也不清楚自己期望别人为我做些什么。

I mean, I didn't know how I needed why I didn't know what I needed from people.

我不想谈论它。

I didn't wanna talk about it.

我想一个人待着。

I wanted to be alone.

我不希望任何人知道，因为我并不想让人跟我谈论这件事，或者对我说些什么，因为我还没准备好听这些。

I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want people to talk to me about it or say things to me because I just wasn't ready to hear it yet.

至于我是如何告诉那些非常亲近的人的，我丈夫当然知道，因为他也经历过同样的事。

And the way that I think I told people that were really, really close to me, really my husband obviously knew because it happened to him too.

我的两个最好的朋友也知道。

And my two best friends knew.

我觉得他们能陪伴在我身边，是因为他们不知道该说什么，所以什么也没说。

And the way that I feel like they were there for me because they didn't know what to say, they didn't say anything.

他们只是在身体上陪伴着我。

They were there for me physically.

他们抱着我。

They held me.

他们让我哭泣。

They let me cry.

我只是坐在那里，哭着，什么也没说。

I just sat there and I cried and said nothing.

他们只是握着我的手，坐在那里，任我哭泣。

And they just held my hand and were like, just sat there with me and like, let me cry.

他们没有问我问题。

They didn't ask me questions.

他们没有问我感觉如何。

They didn't ask me how I felt.

他们什么也没问，什么也没对我说。

They didn't ask they didn't say anything to me.

他们没有说‘一切都有其原因’这样的话。

Like, they didn't say everything happens for a reason.

别担心。

Don't worry.

总有一天你会好起来的。

Like, you'll feel one day.

他们没有说这些话。

They didn't go into that.

我想是因为他们太了解我了，他们可能知道我还不是时候听那些话。

I think because they know me so well, they probably knew that I didn't want to hear that yet.

他们只是在那里，等我准备好说话时就倾听。

They just were there and they listened when I was ready to talk.

而当我还没准备好时，他们就让我尽情发泄情绪。

And then because I wasn't ready, they just let me emote.

嗯。

Mhmm.

他们只是让我哭。

And they just let me cry.

他们也哭了。

And they cried.

我能感觉到，因为我受伤了，所以他们也感到难过。

And I could tell because I was hurt, they were hurt.

你知道吗，当我终于见到我丈夫，我们在一起时，他只是抱着我。

You know, when I finally got to my husband and we were together, he just held me.

我们都哭了，他只是抱着我。

We both cried and he just held me.

而且，你知道，我也抱着他，因为我认为这又是另一层意义——虽然这件事在身体上发生在我身上，情感上也是我经历的，但从情感上讲，它是我个人的体验。

And, you know, I held him too because I think that's another thing, another layer on top of it is, even though it physically happened to me and emotionally was something that I experienced, it was an individual experience to myself emotionally.

对他来说，这也是一种失去。

It's a loss that happened to him as well.

他也曾以为自己可能会有一个孩子。

He also thought potentially he would be having a child.

所以我们都在为某种东西哀悼。

So we were both grieving something.

我们都在为这种失去而哀悼。

We were both grieving the loss of of this.

我们同时感受到了一种奇怪的解脱感，但紧接着又感到内疚，因为我们感到解脱，然后又立刻感到愤怒，因为我们感到内疚。

We were both feeling this weird sense of relief at the same time and then immediately guilty because we felt relief and then immediately anger because we felt guilt.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

这真是没完没了的。

It's just it's relentless.

当这些情绪刚刚发生时，你会感受到彩虹中所有颜色的每一种情绪。

These emotions when it's fresh, you know, that you feel literally every single one that's on the rainbow of all the colors.

我都感受到了。

Felt all of them.

我觉得在最开始的时候，对我来说，就是有人抱着我，只是陪在我身边。

And I think when it was the very beginning, I think for me, was just people holding me, you know, just being in the space with me.

如果他们不知道该说什么，也不必开口。

They didn't have to say anything if they didn't know what to say.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know?

当我们开始谈论这件事时，我们最先说的是：这太糟了。

And when we did sort of start talking about it, I I we first started saying, this sucks.

我无法相信这种事情竟然会发生。

I can't believe this is happening.

你知道吗，如果我感到生气，他们也会对我生气。

You know, it was if I was feeling angry, then they would be angry with me.

如果我感到悲伤，他们也会为我悲伤。

If I was sad, then they were sad with me.

他们在这方面陪伴我，真是太棒了。

It was ama- they were amazing at being there for me in those ways.

你知道，要明白该说什么、如何陪伴一个人是很难的。

And, you know, I think it is difficult to know what to say and how to be there for someone.

但我认为，跟随他们的反应也是非常好的。

But I think following them and how they're reacting is also really good.

比如，根据他们的回应来调整自己的回应，是一种很好的方式。

Like, taking the cue from how they're responding is a good way to respond back to someone.

而且，你知道，那些了解情况的朋友会关心我。

And, you know, checking in, you know, my friends that knew checked in with me.

你今天感觉怎么样？

How are you feeling today?

你知道吗？

You know?

如果我不想谈这件事，他们就会说，好的，等你准备好了告诉我，你知道的？

And then if I didn't wanna talk about it, they were like, okay, let me know when you are ready, you know?

嗯。

Yeah.

我们在这儿。

We're here.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以，他们只是时不时关心一下，你知道的，确保我没事。

So just, you know, they were checking in, you know, making sure.

然后，你知道，我最好的朋友，她也经历过这些，她至今仍然会关心我，你知道的？

And then, you know, my best friend, she, who she experienced this as well, she continues to check-in with me, you know?

这都三年了，我们还在聊这件事。

This is three years later and we still talk about it.

天啊。

Oh my gosh.

你能相信吗？

Like, can you believe it?

你可能会有个三岁的孩子。

You would have a three year old.

我就说，我知道。

I'm like, I know.

我们都能拥有这些时刻，我们都本该有个三岁的孩子。

And it's just we we get to have these moments together of we would both have a three year old right now.

我们就会想到这些，面对这些，为他们哀悼。

That's and we we think about that and we deal with that and we grieve them.

我们哀悼那种可能性和人生方向的丧失，那条未曾走过的路。

We grieve the loss of that potential and that direction in life, you know, that thread that didn't happen in path.

所以女性之间的友谊是如此非凡而美好。

So female friendships are incredible and they're beautiful.

我认为女性在生活中拥有可以倾诉的女性朋友非常重要，因为我们能以丈夫无法提供的方式彼此理解。

And I think it's really important for women to have women in their life that they can can go to and they can talk to you about these things because we can relate to each other in other ways that I think, you know, I couldn't get from my husband.

能够向她倾诉是如此特别且极具帮助。

And being able to go to her was so special and really helpful.

所以，我也认为要对自己有耐心。

So I just I think also have patience with with yourself.

如果你认识正在经历这一切的人，请对他们有耐心，因为这就像过山车一样。

And if you know someone who's going through that, have patience with them because it's a roller coaster.

她是我的朋友，她也在经历这一切。

And, you know, she was my friend, she was going through this too.

我感受到了各种情绪，因为我明白她心碎了，我也感到心碎。

And I was feeling emotions, and I was feeling heartbroken because I know because she was heartbroken.

所以我同样在经历这些情绪，我必须保持耐心，因为这一切正在她身上发生。

So I was feeling emotions as well, and I just have to be patient because the it it's happening to her.

所以，要按照她的节奏、她的时间，等她准备好了、想听、想谈论时，我们再谈。

So at her pace, at her time, when she's ready, when she wants to hear, when she wants to talk about it, we can.

我们俩都彼此分享了这种理解。

And we both kind of just we both shared that understanding with each other.

让我们谈谈失去朋友的悲痛，因为这真的是一位非常亲密的朋友。

Let's talk about the grief of losing a friend because that's really what this a really dear friend.

跟我讲讲这九年，以及你和泰特建立的非凡关系。

Walk me through those nine years and the amazing relationship you built with Tate.

是的，泰特，哦，我的天使。

Yeah, Tate, oh, my angel.

我18岁的时候得到了泰特，那时正好是我人生发生巨变的时期。

I got Tate when I was 18, so it was really kinda in the mix of all this my life changing.

你知道，泰特来到我生活后不久，我就参加了维多利亚的秘密时尚秀，我们共同走过了九年的时光，他是我最好的朋友。

You know, I I booked the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show not very long after I I Tate came into my life, And we we walked through life together for nine years, and he was my best friend.

天啊，真难用言语表达，因为与动物建立深厚的关系是如此独特。

And, oh gosh, it's so hard to put it into words because it's it's so it's such a unique thing to have a deep relationship with an animal.

听起来我希望我没有显得疯狂。

And it sounds I hope I don't sound crazy.

主啊，停下吧。

Lord, stop.

听起来可能有点疯狂，但我觉得狗和动物对人类的爱是如此无条件的。

Sound a little crazy, but, like, I just feel like the love that, you know, dogs and animals in general have for humans is so unconditional.

你知道吗？

You know?

它们不会评判你。

And they have no judgment.

它们不要求你任何东西，只希望得到你的爱作为回报。

They don't want anything from you but your love back.

这种爱如此纯粹，如此纯真。

And it's so pure and it's so innocent.

某种程度上，它几乎像孩子一样。

It's almost childlike in a way.

你知道，当我想到第一次抱起新生儿时的那种瞬间连接，那种对一个还不会说话、却已成为你一部分的生命的联结，我只能想象。

You know, when I I I can only imagine, you know, when you hold a newborn baby for the first time, that immediate connection that you feel to this thing that can't even talk yet and is just a part of you.

能与一个本质上对你别无所求、只给予无条件爱的存在建立如此深厚的情感联系，真的非常特别。

It's it's really special to have such a a deep connection to something that literally wants nothing from you except for also the, like, unconditional love.

因此，塔特在那时进入我的生活显得格外珍贵，因为当时我正经历许多变化。

So to have Tate come into my life at that time was so special just because so much was changing.

你知道，我正在成长。

You know, I was growing up.

我正从一个女孩成长为一名年轻女性，而他一直陪伴在我身边。

I was, you know, becoming a young woman from a girl to a woman, and he was there for that.

而且，我经常四处旅行，远离家人。

And, you know, I was traveling all the time, and I was away from family.

我身边只有这个小小、纯真的生命，它总是用充满爱意的眼神看着我，仿佛在说：你是最棒的，我爱你。

And I just had this little tiny innocent soul with me that just always looked at me like, you're the best, and I love you.

塔特教会了我很多。

And Tate taught me so much.

他教会了我责任与关爱。

I mean, he taught me, you know, responsibility, caring

为了

for

为了我以外的其他事情，你知道，照顾他，把爱倾注在他身上，确保他过得好，还有训练他、做这些事情，都是在向他表达爱，确保他是一只自信、舒适的狗。

something other than myself, you know, taking care of him, you know, pouring love into him, and making sure that he was good and, you know, even well behaved and training him and doing all those things is is showing him an act of love and making sure that he's a confident, comfortable dog.

无论在什么情况下，他都是最棒的狗狗。

He he could be in any scenario, and he was the best boy.

我觉得他也隐约知道，我当时只是有点手忙脚乱地应付着。

And I think he also kinda knew that I was just kinda out there winging it a bit.

而且他

And he

他心想：天啊。

was like, oh god.

这个女孩完全不知道自己在做什么，所以我现在得做个乖孩子。

This girl this girl has no idea what she's doing, so I'm gonna have to be a good boy now.

他就是这样，我有时候真的觉得，他是自己学会了随时随地都陪在我身边。

And he just I really sometimes feel like he did teach himself how to just be everywhere with me all the time.

我觉得他就是为我而来的，注定要出现在我的生命里。

And I think that he was meant for me, and he was meant to be in my life.

我觉得我们彼此是命中注定的，我们属于对方。

And I think that we were sort of made to for each other, and we belonged to each other.

你知道吗，说一只狗有这样的情感听起来很疯狂，但他真的非常有感情。

And, you know, he was he was so it sounds crazy to say this about a dog, but he was so emotional.

他的眼神特别有人性。

Like, his eyes were so human.

他能看着我，我就知道他在想什么，或者他在说什么。

He could look at me, and I knew what he was saying or what he was thinking.

或者我觉得他能感受到我在想什么、我有什么情绪。

Or I felt that he could feel what I was thinking or what I was feeling.

我 definitely 认为他也教会了我很多关于情感的东西，你知道的，关于……那句名言是什么来着？

And I definitely think that he also taught me a lot about, you know, emotion and, you know, being you know, what's that saying?

你知道的，要做一只狗认为你是的那种人。

You know, be the person your dog thinks you are.

他们觉得你很棒。

They think you're great.

你知道吗？

You know?

他们说，无论怎样我都爱你。

They're like, I love you no matter what.

是的，妈妈。

Yes, mom.

是的。

Yes.

这就是他们带给你的能量。

So that's the energy they give you.

对吧？

Right?

就像是，哦，你是最棒的。

It's like, oh, you're the best.

然后我就想，我是最好的吗？

And it's just like, am I the best?

但有这样一个小生命看着你，觉得你就是最好的，这会让你真的想成为最好的。

But to have something, you know, this little creature just look at you and think, you're the best, it kind of makes you want to be the best.

对吧？

Right?

你一直努力成长、变得更好、不断改变。

You know, constantly trying to grow and be better and change.

你知道，没有人是完美的，也永远不会有人完美。

And, you know, nobody's perfect and no one will ever be perfect.

我们总是在学习，总是在成长，总是在变化。

And we're always learning and we're always growing and we're always changing.

但有件事值得为之努力，有个人值得为你这么做，这真的不一样。

But having something to do that for and having some someone to do that with is is really is it's different.

你知道吗？

You know?

更像是有意识的。

Like, it's more intentional.

对吧？

Right?

所以，因为泰特觉得我是最棒的，而努力变得更好，这是一种不同的动力。

So trying to be better because Tate thinks I'm the best is is a different motivation.

他确实在我生命中的许多时候，以及我人生的重大转变中，一直陪伴着我。

So he definitely was there for me through, you know, so much of my life and so much of my life changing.

我觉得从18岁到27岁是相当关键的几年。

I think from, you know, 18 to 27 are pretty formative years.

我不是医生，但有人曾经告诉我，你的大脑在25岁左右就停止发育了。

I don't I'm not a doctor, but I someone told me once that your brain stops developing at 25 or something.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以，你知道，他一直都在啊，抱歉。

So, you know, he was there oh, sorry.

我上了麦克风。

I hit the mic.

我说话时用手势辅助。

I talked with my hands.

从我大脑尚未发育成熟到完全发育，他一直都在。

He was there he was there from when I had an undeveloped brain to a developed brain.

你知道的。

You know?

他默默陪伴着我走过这一切。

He kinda just saw me through.

他就是最好的。

And he was he was just the best.

我是说，我生命中的挚爱。

I mean, the love of my life.

我是说，我的灵魂伴侣，真的，因为他就是这么特别，你知道吗？我和塔特之间的这种联系，是我从未在任何人身上体验过的。

I mean, my soulmate, really, because he's just new, you know, and I've never had a connection with any anyone like that that I've had with Tate.

所以我真的很感激他出现在我的生命里。

So I'm just I'm really grateful that he was in my life.

他激励着我想要创办一家宠物公司，只因为我太爱他了。

He's the inspiration behind me even wanting to start a pet company just because I love him so much.

我知道其他人也曾经有过这种感受。

And I know other people have felt that before.

那些拥有我称之为灵魂犬的人，他们懂我在说什么。

People who've had, you know, what I like to call a soul dog, they know what I'm talking about.

他们知道那种感觉。

You know, they know that feeling.

当我分享我失去泰特的消息时，那些一路陪伴我、可能关注我一段时间的人，他们知道我领养他的那一天，也许经常在Instagram上看到他。

And when I shared that I lost Tate, people who've who've, you know, been on my journey with me and been maybe following me for a bit know the day I got him and maybe saw saw him on my Instagram all the time.

我的Instagram上几乎每一张照片里都有他，持续了九年。

I mean, he was probably in every single picture on my Instagram for nine years.

所以我觉得人们感觉就像认识他一样。

So I feel like people felt like they knew him.

当我提到他生病了，后来又分享他离世的消息时，我收到了大量支持和留言，还有人分享他们的经历：‘我十年前失去了我的灵魂犬，但我每天仍会想起它。’

And when I said when I, you know, shared that he was sick, and then when I ultimately shared that he had passed, the overwhelming amount of support and, you know, messages that I got and also shared experiences that I received from I lost my soul dog ten years ago, and I still think about them every single day.

这让我感觉没那么孤单，也没那么奇怪了——毕竟我对一只狗有这样的情感，你知道的，你会得到两种反应。

It made me feel it made me feel less alone and less maybe kind of strange for feeling this way about a dog because I'd you know, you get both.

我收到了许多极其积极、令人感动的评论。

You get I got amazing overwhelming comments that were just overwhelmingly positive.

我的意思是，我知道你正在经历什么。

I mean, just, you know, I know what you've what you're going through.

我也经历过这样的事。

I went through this.

你要记住，他永远与你同在。

You know, just remember he's always with you.

我收到了许多类似这样的信息，深深触动了我，让我倍感温暖，真的很感激能收到这些留言。

You know, I got messages like that that touched me so deeply and positively, and I just felt so grateful that I got those messages.

但当然，也会有另一面，有些人就是无法理解。

But then, of course, you get the flip side where people don't understand.

他们说，哦，只是一只狗。

They're like, oh, it's a dog.

有什么大不了的？

What's the big deal?

你知道的？

You know?

哦，只是一只狗。

Oh, it's a dog.

别纠结了。

Move on.

我永远不会从泰特的离世中走出来。

I'll I'll never move on from Tate's death.

我的悲伤肯定会改变。

My grief will change for sure.

我对他离世的看法也会改变。

My perspective of his death will change.

自从失去他之后，情况甚至更糟了，你知道，这太令人心碎了。

And it has even since I lost him, you know, it's devastating and it's heartbreaking.

而且，任何有过这种感受的人，我都懂那种感觉。

And, you know, to anyone who's felt that, I know what that feels like.

别让任何人催你。

And don't let anybody rush you.

有些人不明白，这只是一只狗，不是人，但这并不意味着它不值得你花和哀悼其他事物一样多的时间、空间和精力。

You know, some people don't understand that it's just because this is a dog and, you know, not a person, it doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same amount of time and space and energy you would give to grieving anything else.

所以我想说，慢慢来，你并不孤单。

So I would just say, you know, take your time and you're not alone.

这根本不是一件轻松的事。

And it's not a fun thing to go through at all.

所以我觉得我永远都会想念泰特，你知道吗？

So I think I'll always miss Tate, you know?

我不明白我怎么能不想念他，你知道吗？

I don't see how I can't, you know?

我认为说‘走出来’这种说法太过严苛，因为我可能永远都走不出来。

And I think to say to get over something is such a harsh way of saying it because I'll probably never get over it.

我永远都无法真正释怀失去泰特这件事。

I'll never really get over losing Tate.

我可以从中愈合，可以找到内心的平静。

I can heal from it, and I can find, you know, peace with it.

但这两者完全是两回事，所谓‘走出来’。

But those are two completely different things, getting over it.

你怎么可能从这种伤痛中走出来呢？

How do you get over that?

它是我生命中的一部分，而他已不在了。

An It's object in my way, he's a part of me and he's no longer here.

是的，我 definitely 认为失去宠物是很艰难的。

Yeah, I definitely think losing a pet is is tough.

而且，当你失去一个与你有着深厚情感连接、陪伴你多年、对你别无他求、只愿陪伴在你身边的宠物时，这种失去是极其沉重的，也很难走出阴影。

And, you know, losing one that you have such a deep, strong connection with that's been with you for so many things with no expectation from you other than just they wanna be there with you is that's a tough loss and a tough thing to to work through.