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以下播客是我们珍视的媒体作品。
The following podcast is a dear media production.
大家好，欢迎收听《真实播客》。
Hey, everybody, and welcome to RealPod.
我是维多利亚·加里克，前大学运动员，现为心理健康与身体形象倡导者。
I'm Victoria Garrick, former DON athlete and mental health and body image advocate.
每周三，我都会为大家带来精彩的嘉宾访谈、每周灵感，以及围绕各种话题最真实的对话。
Every Wednesday, I'll be bringing you awesome guests, weekly inspiration, and the realest conversations around everything and anything.
现在，让我们开始说真话吧。
Now let's get real.
欢迎回到《真实播客》，各位。
Welcome back to RealPod, everybody.
今天的这期节目真是一个圆满的时刻。
This episode today is really a full circle moment.
我觉得上一次有这种圆满感的节目，还是我和艾米丽·迪多纳托合作的那期。
I feel like the last episode that felt this full circle was the episode I did with Emily DiDonato.
帮你回忆一下
To jot your memory.
那是我曾经暗暗痴迷的超模
It was the supermodel I was low key obsessed with.
后来我们成了朋友，她来上节目讲述了自己的挣扎经历，那一刻真的让我惊叹不已
And then we became friends and she came on and she told me all about her struggles and it was just this oh my gosh moment.
那期节目我特别喜欢
That episode I loved.
如果你还没听过，快去听听看
If you haven't listened to it, check it out.
但今天我们也将迎来一个非常特别的圆满时刻
But today we are also having a very special full circle moment.
我在南加州大学读大一的时候，曾在《娱乐今宵》实习
So when I was a freshman at USC, I interned at Entertainment Tonight.
当时我就想，天啊，我也想成为像朱莉安娜·兰西克那样的主持人
And at the time, I was like, oh my gosh, I wanna be, you know, like a Julianna Rancic.
我想上电视做红毯节目，采访明星。
I wanna be on TV doing red carpets, interviewing the stars.
在那次实习中，我记得看到他们有位主持人叫凯尔蒂·奈特，她不仅美丽动人，工作能力出色，而且充满热情，简直棒极了。
And at this internship, I remember seeing that they had a host, her name was Kelty Knight and she was just so beautiful and great at her job and enthusiastic and she was fantastic.
我每天只能在片场偶尔瞥见她几眼。
And I just got to see glimpses of her throughout the day on the lot.
但作为一名实习生，我的工作可没那么有趣。
But as an intern, my role was much less fun.
每天早晨到岗后，我看着分配表，和其他五位实习生各自领任务——比如接电话、取录像带、处理繁琐的文书归档工作等等。
I showed up every morning, I looked at my little paper and me and the other five interns each had assignments and, you know, they really switched off between answering phones and getting tape and kind of doing tedious tasks, filing things, etcetera.
实习几周后，我觉得实在太无聊了。
So it's like a few weeks into my internship and I'm just it's really boring.
我感觉自己根本没在做想做的事，而每次看到凯尔蒂都光鲜亮丽的。
I just don't feel like I'm doing what I wanna do and I'm just seeing Kelty and she seems fabulous.
于是我鼓起勇气，主动去了凯尔蒂的办公室。
And so I go out on a limb and I head over to Kelty's office.
说实话，各位，我觉得这是个很好的学习时刻——如果你处于一个对你无益、不享受或想有所行动的情况，那就去行动吧。
And honestly, guys, I think this is a good learning moment of like, if you are in a situation where it's not beneficial for you, you're not enjoying it or you wanna make moves, like go make moves.
那天我采取了行动，这改变了我很多。
And I made a move that day and it changed a lot for me.
实习结束后大概三点左右，我去了凯尔西的办公室，敲门探头说：'嗨，我只是想过来打个招呼介绍一下自己。'
After my internship had ended at like three or whatever it was, I went over to Kelsey's office, I knocked on the door, I popped my head and I said, hi, I just wanted to pop in and say hello and introduce myself.
我叫维多利亚·加里克。
My name is Victoria Garrick.
我是这里的实习生，只想告诉您，我觉得您太棒了。
I'm an intern here and I just wanna let you know, I think you are fantastic.
如果您需要有人帮您买咖啡、跑腿或处理杂务，请随时告诉我。
If you ever need someone to get you coffee or do things for you or run errands, please let me know.
我很乐意随时免费帮忙，尽管吩咐。
I am happy to do anything whenever for free, just let me know.
所以我基本上就是向她自我介绍，并表达'您太厉害了'这样的意思。
And so I basically just introduced her and was like, you're awesome.
如果你需要任何帮助，请记住我在这里实习，随时告诉我。
And if you ever need anything, know, I'm an intern here, let me know.
第二天我去上班，看了看我的工作表，心想今天会有什么任务呢？
The next day I show up for work and I look at my little sheet and I'm like, okay, what is it gonna be today?
整理录音带、接电话，都是些无聊的事。
Tape, phone calls, boring things.
然后我看到名字旁边写着：向凯尔蒂汇报。
And I see next to my name, report to Kelty.
我当时超级兴奋。
And I was so excited.
我几乎是蹦蹦跳跳地去了凯尔蒂办公室，说了声嗨。
I think I like skipped over to Kelty's office and I was like, hi.
她也回应道你好，今天我要让你帮我做些事情。
And she was like, hi, I'm gonna have you do some things for me today.
从那一刻起，实习生活彻底改变了，变得有趣多了。
And from that point on the internship just changed and it was so much more fun.
凯尔蒂手把手教我，还特意带我进演播室，把她的台词给我，让我读她的台词。
And Kelty showed me the ropes and she went out of her way to like bring me in the booth and she gave me her lines and she let me read her lines.
然后她指导我如何表达，如何在镜头前说话。
And then she coached me on how I should deliver things and how to talk on camera.
而且，她在教我她是如何做到这些的。
And, she was teaching me how she did what she did.
甚至有一天，凯尔蒂让我站在摄像机前，让摄像师录了一段视频给我，你知道的，作为我的作品集，因为当时我以为这就是我想做的事。
There was even a day where Kelty let me stand in front of the camera and she had the camera guys record a video to give to me, you know, for my reel because at the time, this is what I thought I wanted to do.
那真是一段不可思议的经历。
And it was just an incredible experience.
自从那次实习后，我和凯尔蒂一直保持联系，只要她需要任何帮助，我都会说‘尽管找我’。
And ever since that internship, Kelty and I stayed in touch, you know, anytime she needed anything, I was like, hit me up.
你需要什么我都会去做。
I will do whatever you need.
后来她成为了更酷的超级明星，创立了‘Lady Gang’，这个团体变得超级受欢迎。
You know, she ended up becoming this even cooler mega star founding the Lady Gang, which has been so wildly popular.
这个播客叫做《Lady Gang》。
It's called the Lady Gang podcast.
下载量已经超过1亿次。
There's over a 100,000,000 downloads.
在我南加州大学剩下的时光里，我时不时会去凯尔蒂那里帮忙打包《Lady Gang》的箱子，无论是什么事，我们都保持着联系，我对此非常感激。
And over, you know, the rest of my time at USC, there were moments I went over to Kelty's and I helped package boxes for the Lady Gang and, you know, whatever it was, we kept in touch and I'm so grateful for that.
时间快进到我开始发展自己的平台，真正改变并积累粉丝，然后创办播客时，我就想，天啊，我太想采访凯尔蒂了。
So fast forward to me kind of developing my platforms and really changing and growing a following and then starting a podcast, I was like, oh my god, I would love to interview Kelty.
但内心深处有个声音说，你知道吗？
But part of me was like, you know what?
我应该靠实力赢得这个机会。
I should earn it.
我应该先证明自己有资格邀请凯尔蒂上节目，因为我知道她一定会答应。
I should earn the right to feel like I even have a place asking Kelty to to come on my show because I knew she would do it.
她是世界上最善良的人，总是乐于助人。
She's the nicest person ever and she just wants to help.
但我当时想，我要先打造出一些成绩，这样我才能给她发送一份正式的邀请函，说明节目的发展方向、过往嘉宾阵容，用这种方式真正表达对她的尊重。
But I was like, I wanna build something so that I can send her a proper invitation and cite what the show is doing and who the guests have been and really like kind of show her respect in that way.
所以我觉得现在至少达到了可以向凯尔蒂发出邀请并得到认真考虑的阶段，某种程度上也算配得上她的时间了。
And so I feel like I am I am at least at a place where I can send Kelty that invitation and be taken seriously and, you know, it's worthy of her time in some way.
于是最近我联系了凯尔蒂，我说，能邀请您上节目是我的荣幸，考虑到我们共同经历的一切，从我是实习生开始，您一直是如此耀眼的存在。
And so I recently reached out to Kelty and I said, you know, it is my honor to just ask if you would wanna come on my show and with everything that, you know, we've been through in our relationship and how I was this intern and, you know, she's just so fabulous.
今天的采访对我意义非凡，终于和凯尔蒂完成了这个圆满的循环。
This interview today was so special for me to finally come full circle with Kelty.
为了公正地展现凯尔蒂，我要先介绍她的履历——因为她实在是个传奇人物。
Now to do Kelty justice, I wanna tell you guys about her bio because she is a badass.
凯尔蒂·奈特是《纽约时报》畅销书作家。
Kelty Knight is a New York Times best selling author.
她是Leading Gang播客的联合创始人。
She is the cofounder of the Leading Gang podcast.
她是艾美奖得主主持人，两次获得艾美奖。
She is an Emmy winning host, two time Emmy winning.
她曾是一名无线电城火箭女郎舞蹈团的成员。
She is also a former Radio City Rockette.
尽管凯尔蒂如此成功，她对自己人生中取得的一切成就依然保持着真实、坦诚和谦逊的态度。
And while Kelty is so successful, she's also so real and honest and down to earth about everything she's accomplished in life.
在今天的节目中，我们将讨论作为过度追求成就者的感受，以及如何重新定义成功，从而对自己更满意，不再对自己过于苛刻。
And in today's episode, we are gonna talk about what it is like to be an overachiever and how you can redefine success so that you can feel more satisfied with yourself and stop being so hard on yourself.
凯尔蒂是传达这一信息的完美人选，我非常期待你们能听到我们今天的对话。
And Kelty is the perfect woman for this message and I am so excited for you to hear our conversation today.
我们即将进入采访环节，但在开始前，我要特别感谢玛丽亚·加西亚，她留下了五星评价并写道：太棒了。
We're about to dive into this interview but before we do, I wanna give a special shout out to Maria Garcia who left a five star review and said, amazing.
绝对是我听过最棒的播客。
Definitely the best podcast I've ever heard.
多么真实的鼓舞，还有最棒的嘉宾。
What a true inspiration and the best guests.
我简直爱死它了。
I absolutely love it.
玛丽亚，非常感谢你如此贴心的留言。
Maria, thank you so much for this kind comment.
这让我今天心情特别好。
It makes my day.
很高兴你收听了这个节目。
I'm so happy you listened to the show.
如果大家喜欢这个节目，可以在iTunes上留言并评分，让我知道你们的想法。
If you guys are enjoying the show, you can leave a comment on iTunes and a rating to let me know what you're thinking.
每周我都会特别感谢一位听众，只想对你们说声谢谢。
Every single week, I like to shout out one of you and just say thank you.
谢谢你们收听这个节目。
Thank you for listening to the show.
这对我而言意义非凡。
It means the world to me.
我知道你们本可以选择无数其他内容来收听。
I know you could listen to a million other things.
我知道你本可以把时间花在其他事情上。
I know you could be doing other things with your time.
我无比感激，也非常珍视你们的反馈。
I am so grateful and appreciative, and I love reading your feedback.
如果你还没订阅这个播客，请务必订阅，这样每周三就能自动收到更新。
If you have not already subscribed to this podcast, make sure you subscribe so you get that automatic download every single Wednesday.
别忘了在Instagram上关注@RealPod，获取幕后花絮和嘉宾资讯。
Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at RealPod for behind the scenes and guest information.
闲话少说，让我们隆重欢迎本期嘉宾——我的偶像，也是我生命中特别重要的人，凯尔蒂·奈特。
Without further ado, let's dive into this episode with one of my idols and a very special person to me, Kelty Knight.
你准备好了吗？
Are you ready?
我准备好了。
I'm ready.
我太兴奋了。
I'm so excited.
我真为你感到骄傲。
I'm so proud of you.
哦，谢谢。
Oh, thanks.
好的。
Okay.
那么，凯尔蒂，你最近怎么样？
Well, Kelty, how are you?
你今天感觉如何？
How are you today?
我觉得你总是忙得脚不沾地。
I feel like you're always booking a million miles per hour.
有什么新鲜事吗？
What's new?
是啊。
Yeah.
这个周一我把自己安排得满满当当，每个小时都有事，一直到下午6点。
This is one of those Mondays where I have, you know, booked myself something every hour until 06:00.
所以你看，我们这是自找的苦吃，但见到你我真的太开心了。
So, you know, we we it's a hell of our own making, but I was so excited to see your face.
我真的为你感到无比骄傲。
And I'm just so like, I'm just so proud of you.
我觉得自己看人挺准的，你知道吧。
I think that I have an eye for talent, you know.
我还记得你在《娱乐今宵》实习的时候，大家都把你当成那种漂亮但没脑子的金发女郎。
But I remember when you were an intern over at Entertainment Tonight, you know, everyone really thought of you as like this pretty dumb blonde, you know.
我是说，不知道他们是不是真觉得你笨，但你本人实在太美了，又高挑又出众，让人忍不住想'这姑娘这么漂亮'。
Like, I mean, I don't know if they thought you were dumb, but like, you're just so beautiful in person and so you're so tall and so striking that it's like, oh, this this girl, like, she's so beautiful.
你本可以靠脸吃饭，却偏偏这么拼，所以我特别欣赏你。看到你这些年取得的成就，简直太了不起了。
It must be so easy for her and your work ethic was so strong that I like took to you and then to see what you've done in the past few years is fucking incredible.
这对我而言意义非凡。
That means the world to me.
说实话，我从来没有时间告诉你这些，因为当时我都没能完全消化这些感受。
And honestly, I've never, like, had the time to tell you this because I don't think I fully processed it as it was happening.
但当我回顾在ET的经历，以及有幸跟随你学习时，你确实是第一个帮助过我的女性。
But when I think about my experience at ET and then kind of getting to shadow you, you were for sure the first woman who ever helped me.
每当想到女性间的相互扶持，我就会追溯到像凯尔蒂·奈特这样的对话。
Like, when I think about women supporting women, I date back in any conversation like Kelty Knight.
你给了我本不必给予的机会。
You provided opportunities for me that you did not have to.
这与我经历过的任何事都截然不同——作为运动员出身，来自南加州大学，生活在洛杉矶，那里充斥着'我才不会分享秘密'或'巴不得其他女孩失败'的氛围。
It was just so different than anything I experienced because coming from an athletic background, coming from USC, living in LA, it's so like, oh, I'm not sharing my secrets with anyone or you want every other girl to fail.
而你却如此无私，让我深受启发。你给我的感受让我也想这样去影响他人。
And so you were just so selfless and I was so inspired and the way that you made me feel, was like, I wanna make other people feel this way.
我从未刻意不去帮助其他女性，但你却主动伸出援手，这对我影响至深，彻底改变了我。
I was like, I thinking of I never like cautiously didn't help other women, but you went out of your way to help me and it made such an impact on me that like, I've been forever changed.
所以我觉得必须让你知道这一点。
So I needed you to know that.
太好了！
Yay.
听到你这么说我真的很开心。
I'm so happy to hear that.
而且我觉得，你能继续做自己的事情就是最好的感谢，因为我会想'哇，这一切真的很有意义'，所以真的很棒。
And, you know, I think that going on and doing your thing is like the best thank you because I'm just like, wow, that's like this is it meant something, you know, so yay.
是啊。
Yeah.
说实话，我真的被你的职业道德深深吸引。
And I honestly feel like so pulled to your work ethic.
你提到过我的这点，但你自己才是真正充满干劲的人。
You mentioned that about me, but for you, like, you're so driven.
你同时处理着无数件事情。
You're doing a million things.
你是如何在保持惊人动力的同时，又能维持良好心理健康的？
Have you found the balance between being insanely driven and maintaining good mental health?
因为我确实
Because I have
没有。
not.
是啊。
Yeah.
你知道，我今年一直在做深度心理治疗，因为有些空闲时间。
You know, I am like deep in therapy this year because I had a little extra time.
我的治疗师反复对我说的一句话是：你并非全善，也并非全恶。
And the one thing that my therapist keeps saying to me over and over is you are not all good and you're not all bad.
我觉得这句话真正触动了我，因为当我们忙起来时，其他所有事情都会被抛诸脑后。
And I think that that has been the thing that has really struck me because when we get busy, we all these other things fall off.
比如我们的平衡、心理健康、人际关系、健康饮食、身体状况等等这些事。
So like our balance, our mental health, our relationships are like eating right, our health health, like, you know, all those things.
我一忙起来就靠健怡可乐续命，完全活在成就驱动中。
I just get really busy and I live on Diet Coke and I'm just like living by my achievements.
这绝不是一种健康的生活方式。
And and that's not one way to live.
然后我就会对自己发火，陷入自我谴责。
And then I get mad at myself and I shame myself.
我会想：'我就是个混蛋'。
I'm like, well, I'm an asshole person.
我从不回电话。
I never return phone calls.
她说：'你需要停止用这些绝对化的词汇定义自己，因为你并非如此，也不会永远如此'。
She's like, you need to stop speaking about yourself in these finality things because you're not that way and you're not that way forever.
就像，你并非全好或全坏。
Like, you're not all good or all bad.
所以对我来说，平衡不在于日常琐事——因为在演艺圈，你对日常忙碌根本无能为力。
And so for me, balance is not so much in the daily grind because when you're in show business, there's nothing you can do about the daily grind.
忙碌就是生活的常态。
The grind is what it is.
但这是我选择不为这些事影响生活其他方面而感到羞愧的方式。
But it's the way I choose to not live in shame about what that means for all the other areas of my life.
所以当我无法成为完美的妻子，忘记回电话或生日时，我不会自责地想着‘你就是个糟糕的人’然后放弃做个好人。
So when I can't be a great wife, when I forget to phone someone back, when I forget a birthday, instead of beating myself up and being like, well, you're a terrible person, so you should just give up trying to be a nice person.
我会说：知道吗？
I say, you know what?
今天我要对自己宽容一点。
I'm gonna give myself a little grace today.
最近太忙了，我会道歉并弥补过错。
It's been crazy And apologize and make it right.
这就是我的想法。
So that's my thought.
我很赞同这个想法。
I love that thought.
说实话，这就像读到了我的心声。
And honestly, it's like you read my mind.
我今天真的在便利贴上写了这句话。
I literally wrote on a post it note today.
我会对自己宽容些，当我没说对话时，因为我总是纠结：我够友善吗？
I will show myself grace and I have when I don't say the right thing because I'm always like, was I nice enough?
他们理解对了吗？
Did they take it the right way?
你知道，如果我任务落后了，如果我感到不开心。
You know, if I'm behind on my tasks and if I I wrote if I feel unhappy.
有时我不开心时就会想，你没资格不开心，毕竟你拥有某某条件，或者你已经连续五天情绪低落了。
Sometimes I don't feel happy and I'm like, you don't have a right to feel unhappy or but you have x y z or but you've been unhappy for, like, five days in a row now.
这种状态什么时候才能结束？
When is this gonna end?
我觉得，这种给自己贴标签的做法——我是好是坏、是这样还是那样、我感觉如何——我们能不能就单纯地体验人性，偶尔允许自己不完美？
I I think, you know, that labeling of I'm good or I'm bad or I'm this or I'm not or I feel it's like, can we just experience and be human and sometimes just not be perfect?
是啊。
Yeah.
而且我认为作为一个公众人物，我相信你也会同意，当你试图追求完美，这种需要被所有人喜欢、被所有人理解的执念，当人们不理解你时，作为公众人物这真的让我心碎。
And and I think that as a public person, and I am sure that you would agree, when you try to be perfect and you have this this need to be perfect and well liked and everyone to get what you're doing when people don't, it is heartbreaking for me being a public person.
如果你了解我，如果你在我真实生活中相处过，你会知道我几乎希望所有人都能过得好。
If you knew me, if you spent time around me in my real life, you would know that I pretty much want the best for everyone.
你知道，我可能不总是进行眼神交流，因为我脑子里有太多事情要处理。
You know, I might not always make eye contact because I'm super busy in my head.
但总的来说，我认为自己是个善良、积极的人。
But like, for the most part, I think I'm a good, you know, positive person.
所以当有人在网上攻击我，或者因为认为我是坏人而指责我时，很难不把这些话放在心上。
And so when someone comes at me on the internet, or they come at me because I'm this bad person, it's hard to not take that personally.
但另一方面我又想，你根本不了解我。
But also I'm like, you don't know me.
对吧。
So Right.
我觉得，关键是要对自己宽容些，也不要太在意那些闲言碎语。
You know, I think giving yourself grace and then not listening to the peanut gallery too much.
你可以稍微听听这些声音，然后想着，好吧，我要从中吸取教训。
Like, you can listen to it a little bit and be like, okay, I'm gonna learn from this.
但我觉得，我们把自己置于这种回音室中——太棒了太棒了太棒了，然后突然世界讨厌我，我也开始讨厌自己。
But I I think like, we've set ourselves up to be in this echo chamber of like, great, great, great, great, great, the world hates me, and I now hate myself.
我觉得应该对自己宽容些，也要对那些人心存善意，因为他们可能今天只是需要发泄愤怒。
And it's like, I gotta give myself, like and give those people grace because they might just be wanting to be angry today.
我们要保持
We're gonna hold
先停一下，因为我要给你介绍Aura Organic。
it right there because I'm gonna tell you about Aura Organic.
Aura Organic是一家以植物为基础的有机营养品公司，产品涵盖蛋白粉、运动前补充剂到口服美容产品。
Aura Organic is a plant based organic nutrition company with everything from protein powder and pre workout to ingestible beauty supplements.
他们致力于让健康生活变得有趣、触手可及且简单，同时利用地球上最强大的植物来改变你的健康。
They care about making healthy living fun, accessible, and easy while harnessing the earth's most powerful plants to transform your health.
今天想向大家介绍Aura Organic的绿色粉末产品'轻松绿生活'。
Today, wanted to tell you about Aura Organic's greens powder called easy being green.
现在我超爱蔬菜。
Now I love vegetables.
你们都知道我对胡萝卜着迷，但有时冰箱里没存货或者没空去商店。
You guys know I'm obsessed with carrots, but sometimes I don't always have them stocked in my fridge or if I get to go to the store.
这种绿色粉末是让我轻松摄入更多蔬菜的好方法。
This greens powder has been a great and easy way to add more veggies and greens into my life.
只需一勺，我就能摄入20多种来自陆地与海洋的有机绿色植物，毫无麻烦。它们精心调配的美味柑橘风味来自有机水果和益生元，确保你能享受到全部天然美味。
In just one scoop, I'm getting over 20 organic greens from both land and sea with none of the hassle, and their carefully crafted delicious citrus flavor comes from organic fruit and prebiotics, ensuring you will get all of that natural and yummy flavor.
Ora Organic还以努力提供市面上最纯净的营养产品为荣，并且他们不遗余力地证明了这一点。
Ora Organic also prides themselves on trying to provide the cleanest nutritional products around, and they've gone the extra mile to prove it.
他们每一款产品都经过第三方重金属和纯度检测，所有检测结果都在官网上公开透明。
Every single one of their products is third party tested for heavy metals and purity, and all of these test results are available to the public on their website.
除此之外，他们的产品不含任何隐藏成分。
On top of that, their products contain no hidden ingredients.
官网上每个So产品页面都详细列出了所有成分，你可以清楚看到每种成分的具体作用。
Every So product page on their website allows you to look through each and every ingredient, and you can see exactly what purpose that ingredient serves.
立即访问www.aura.organic查看这款绿色粉末产品‘轻松变绿’，并在结账时使用优惠码RealPod，首单立享15%折扣。
Head to www.aura.organic today to check out the greens powder, easy being green, and take 15% off your first purchase when you use code RealPod at checkout.
但这还不是全部。
But that's not all.
若您选择订阅购买，结账时使用优惠码RealPod可再享20%优惠，总计35%折扣。
If you decide to purchase a subscription, you'll receive an additional 20% off totaling 35% off when you use code RealPod at checkout.
所以今天就访问www.aura.organic，使用优惠码RealPod最高可享35%折扣。
So head to www.aura.organic today and use code RealPod for up to 35% off.
你知道那些在约会时难以启齿的话题吗？
You know those things you are too embarrassed to talk about when it comes to dating?
比如什么时候说‘我爱你’，如何界定恋爱关系？
Like, when to say I love you, how to define the relationship?
《我们在Acme相遇》这档节目会探讨这些话题及更多内容，我们会直接与嘉宾深入交流他们的约会经历，也会讨论约会中的禁忌行为——毕竟我们都在共同摸索。
Well, We Met at Acme touches upon all of those subjects and more, and we get right into it with our guests and talk about their dating lives and also what not to do when it comes to dating because we're all kind of confused together.
每周日记得收听《我们在Acme相遇》，或许你我能一起学到些新技巧。
So you can tune in every Sunday to weave out at ACME, and maybe you can learn a thing or two while I learn a thing or two.
你提到了自己的成就，我们得暂停一下，因为你完成的那些事情简直不可思议。
You mentioned your achievements, and we should pause on that for a second because literally the amount of things you've accomplished is just unreal.
我敢说如果和洛杉矶任何一个18岁女孩聊天，她们看到你的简历都会说：这些就是我想实现的所有目标。
And I'm pretty sure if you talk to any 18 year old female in LA, they would look at your resume and say, those are all the things I wanna accomplish.
所以，现在正在和一个活出许多人梦想的女性对话，成为你这样的人是什么感觉？
So in literally speaking to a woman who has lived the dreams of many, what does it feel like to be you?
你真的从那些事情中获得快乐吗？
Do you actually get happiness from those things?
你还在追求其他成就吗？
Are you still chasing other achievements?
说实话，你的故事让我感觉像是一个逆袭故事。
Honestly, your story, it strikes me as an underdog story.
对吧？
Right?
比如，你来自加拿大。
Like, you came from Canada.
你没有上过大学。
You didn't go to college.
你真的是拼了命地工作。
Like, you worked your ass off.
既然你已经证明了自己，那么在这之后
And so if you've proven yourself, what's on the other side
是什么？
of that?
这真是个绝妙的问题，维多利亚，因为我认为这是关于地球和我们在地球上生活的根本问题。
That's such a great question, Victoria, because I think it's the the question of Earth and our lives on Earth.
我的意思是，这个问题如此宏大，我认为好莱坞名人世界的衰败之处就在于，你放弃了很多，却以为'哦，我因此感到满足'。
I mean, it's it's such a big question, and I think it's the downfall of of the celebrity Hollywood world is that, you know, you give up so much and you think, oh, I'm filled by this.
我因此感到满足。
I'm filled by this.
生活中缺少其他元素也没关系。
It's okay that I don't have these other elements in my life.
我不太喜欢自己也没关系，因为他们喜欢我。
It's okay that I don't really like myself because they like me.
我不够自信也没关系，因为他们认为我很自信。
It's okay that, you know, I'm not confident because they think I'm confident.
我认为我们在许多名人身上看到的堕落和他们与心理疾病的斗争，本质上是因为进入演艺圈的人，一般来说，都是相当缺乏安全感的。
And I think the downfall that we see in so many celebrities and their struggle with mental illness is that, you know, the people going to show business at their core, I think and this is general are, you know, pretty insecure.
他们是那种讨好型人格的人。
They they're people pleasers.
他们渴望被房间里的每个人喜爱。
They want to be loved by everyone in the room.
我丈夫拥有一个私人Instagram账号，完全不在乎是否有人知道他的名字，他是我这辈子见过最自信的人。
My husband who has a private Instagram account cares 0% about anyone knowing his name is the most confident person I've ever met in my life.
他不需要任何外界力量来告诉他他很棒，明白吗？
He doesn't need any outside forces telling him he's great, you know?
而我认为表演者们某种程度上处于那种状态——我需要被喜欢。
Whereas I think performers were sort of in that like, I need to be liked.
我需要那些点赞，你懂的。
I need I need the likes, you know.
所以对我来说，这是一个不断达成目标后又猛然醒悟的过程，
And so for me, it's a constant evolution of hitting a goal and realizing, oh, shit.
我并没有因此对自己感觉更好。
I don't feel any better about myself.
就像是周而复始，
And it's like time and
一次又一次，字面意义上每完成一个成就后，
time again, like literally after each achievement,
我感觉。
I feel like.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且这种循环永无止境。
And it and it's never gonna end.
我是说，15岁当古典芭蕾舞者时，我就想着要上邮轮工作。
I mean, when I was 15 and I was a classical ballerina, I was like, I'm gonna get a job on a cruise ship.
后来真在邮轮上找到了工作。
And then I got the job on the cruise ship.
结果发现，哦不。
Was like, oh, no.
这根本不是我要的。
This is not it.
我得搬去纽约。
I gotta move to New York.
我要为碧昂丝伴舞。
And I'm gonna dance for Beyonce.
后来当上火箭女郎并为碧昂丝伴舞时，我以为自我感觉会不同。
And then once I was a Rockette and I danced for Beyonce, was like, I'm gonna feel differently about myself.
结果完全没有。
And I was like, nope.
还是那个悲伤、缺乏安全感的凯尔西。
Still sad, little insecure, Kelsey.
我当时觉得，就这样吧。
Was I like, fine.
我要搬去洛杉矶了。
I'm moving to LA.
一旦遇到真爱，我就会感觉好起来。
Once I meet the love of my life, I'll feel better.
等我事业有成，等我获奖——其实我在真正获奖前被提名过三次艾美奖。
Once I get this career, once I win it, I lost I think I was nominated for three Emmys before I actually won one.
当你还是'艾美奖陪跑专业户'的时候我就在场，现在这个标签终于可以摘掉了。
I was there when Emmy Emmy two time Emmy loser was like your tagline and now it switched.
是的。
Yes.
于是我参加颁奖典礼，坐着等待，听到提名却最终落选，那时我想：要是我能拿个艾美奖，把奖杯摆在家里，或许就能接纳自己了。
And so I went to the award shows and I sat and I we heard our name and then we lost and it like, I was like, oh, if I could just win an Emmy like and have this trophy in my house, would feel better about myself.
这根本不算什么。
It's it's nothing.
没有什么能像你想象的那样填补你内心的空虚。
And nothing ever fills you the way that you think it is going to fill you.
而我
And I
听了你最近播客的几期节目，又关注了你的内容，我发现你现在对这点是最清醒的。
think listening to your recent episodes on your podcast and just kinda following your content, I've seen you be the most aware of this now.
你知道吗？
You know?
就像，我觉得最近，我不确定是不是2020年的影响。
Like, I think recently, I don't know if it's like 2020.
我是说，那一年对所有人都有影响，但我觉得你已经公开谈论过要摆脱那种追求成就的心态转变。
I mean, that hit everyone, but I feel like you have talked openly about shifting away from that achievement mindset.
有什么特别的事情触发了这种改变吗？
Was there a particular thing that sparked the change?
是的。
Yes.
我想去年夏天从《娱乐今宵》全职工作中抽身而出是一个转折点。要知道，Lady Gang那时已经发展得很大，而我生活中曾有过这样的阶段：既要为E频道拍摄节目，又要写书，还得利用拍摄午休时间在家里的衣帽间录制播客——因为节目就在我家拍摄，同时还要每天为《娱乐今宵》工作十到十二小时。
I think that stepping away from working at Entertainment Tonight full time last summer was, you know, Lady Gang had gotten so big and it was, you know, there was a time in my life where I was shooting our show for E, writing a book, podcasting on our lunch break from shooting the show in my closet at my house because we filmed the show at my house and then still working ten to twelve hours a day for ET.
所有这些都挤在一天内完成。
Like all of that was just in one day.
我记得凌晨四点就要起床化妆，然后下楼从六点拍到八点。
I remember getting up at like, 04:00 in the morning, getting my makeup done, going downstairs, we'd film from like six to eight.
接着又得横穿整个城市。
And then I ran across town.
我在Kim Kardashian的Sun Class发布会上采访了她。
I interviewed Kim Kardashian at her Sun Class launch.
回来后利用午休时间录了播客。
I came back we podcasted on our lunch break.
我们就在我的衣帽间里录播客。
We podcasted in my closet.
之后我们又回去继续拍摄，我坐着写书直到晚上11点。
We have back to film more after that I sat to like 11:00 at night writing the book.
我的意思是，那真的是一种挣扎。
I mean, that was like the the struggle.
我意识到，如果我想拥有某种临终时能感到欣慰的生活，就不能再这样两头兼顾太久，否则只会把自己耗竭。
And I realized that if I wanted to have any sort of life that I was going to enjoy on my deathbed that I couldn't do both for much longer or else I was just going to burn out.
但即便如此，这仍是一种心碎。
So but with that, it was a heartbreak.
这是一种悲伤。
It was grief.
这是一种心碎。
It was a heartbreak.
这是一种身份认同。
It was an identity.
这是一段婚姻。
It was a marriage.
我已经在那里工作了十年。
Had been working there for ten years.
你在工作中见过我。
You saw me at work.
你要知道我有多爱那些人。
Know how much I loved all those people.
所以对我来说，这真的非常、非常困难。
So for me, it was really, really difficult.
当我在为这段从未想过会经历的重大人生转变进行心理辅导和治疗时，我意识到可以将生活中其他事物的价值提升到与职业成就同等重要的位置。
And while I was counseling myself on grief and going to therapy about this big life change that I never thought I would go through within that therapy is when I realized that I could place the importance of other things in my life at the same level as I could career achievements.
所以，
So.
职业成就并不比人际关系成就更特别。
Career achievements are not more special than personal relationship achievements.
精心烹制一顿美餐并与爱人或朋友分享，这绝不比你的职业成就不酷或不重要。
Making a great meal and sharing it with your lover or your friends is not less cool or less important than your career achievement.
对我来说，我必须重新训练我的大脑，因为之前被编程成只认为职业成就是至高无上的。
And for me, I had to retrain my brain to that because have been programmed to only think career achievements are up here.
它们是一份清单。
They're a list.
它们是重要的事情。
They're the things that matter.
而像快乐、平衡、享受美好时光、在海滩度过美妙的一天、去度假、读一本好书，这些也都是成就，但它们无法相提并论。
Then like happiness, balance, having a good time, having a great day at the beach, going on a vacation, reading a great book, like their achievements, but they don't compare.
对吧。
Right.
这样说有道理吗？
Does that make sense?
是的，当然。
Yeah, for sure.
我之前采访过一位心理学家。
And I had someone on who he's a psychologist.
他非常出色。
He was brilliant.
他谈到为什么不能把成功定义为与家人之间一次艰难的互动？
He talked about how, like, why can't success be defined as one interaction with a family member that is difficult for you?
所以我非常理解。
So I I very much understand.
这种追求成就的需求从何而来？
Where did this need to achieve come from?
比如，你是在一个只因此类事情受到表扬的家庭中长大的吗？
Like, were you raised in a household where you were only praised on that?
你真是让人害怕。
So frightening of you.
我在一个非常动荡的家庭环境中长大。
I grew up with a very tumultuous family dynamic.
我哥哥患有躁郁症，而我们当时并不知道。
My brother is bipolar, and we didn't know that at the time.
他当时非常吵闹，整个情况都很戏剧化。
And he he was very loud and it was just dramatic.
和他相处本身就是一场戏剧。
It was dramatic dealing with him.
而我是家里的第二个孩子。
And so I was second born.
所以我总是躲在角落里，时刻力求完美，因为我不想让已经因为他而动荡不安的家庭更加混乱。
And I just hit in the corner trying to be perfect at all times because I didn't want to rock the boat anymore than the boat had already been rocked, you know, by him.
而且感觉不像——我是说，这不是我父母或任何人的错，只是我从未在生活中感到特别自在。
And it didn't feel like and I mean, it's no fault of my parents or of anyone like it just I never felt super comfortable in my life.
我从未觉得自己属于某个地方。
I never felt like I was where I belonged.
所以当我18岁时，我就离开了，你知道的，我确实有点在逃避我的家人。
And so when I was 18, I got out, you know, and I really kind of avoided my family.
我避开了所有从小认识的人，大概有整整十年时间。
I avoided everyone that I had known growing up for like a good ten years.
后来我慢慢回归并修复了那些关系，但我当时只是想逃离。
And then I kind of like got back and fixed those relationships a little bit, but I was just trying to escape.
所以我追求成就更多是出于对完美、平静与平衡的渴望。
And so my need to achieve was more a need for everything to be perfect and very calm and balanced.
我曾以为只有做出非凡之事才能被人看见。
And I thought that in order to be seen by anyone that I would need to be doing something grand.
当你说感觉不属于任何地方时，我特别感兴趣，因为我从未遇到过像你这样的人。
When you say you didn't feel like you belonged, it interests me a lot because you're someone who I've never met anyone like you.
和你相处时那种感染力太强了。
Like, you're infectious to be around.
甚至你的名字都很特别。
I mean, even your name is different.
这是个美丽的名字，但我这辈子只遇到过另一个叫Celtic的人——那时我才10岁，说实话得使劲回想才能确定。
And it's a beautiful name, but it's like, I've never met another I mean, I met one other Celtic when I was like 10, but I don't I have to really think about Sure.
确实。
Sure.
谢谢。
Thank you.
真正的原创。
True original.
你就是那种以最美好的方式与众不同的人。
You're just someone who is different in the best way.
这激励了我，因为我不想遇到千篇一律的人。
And that inspires me because I don't wanna meet people who are the same.
我实在想不出还有谁能像你这样散发着独特的频率。
And I like can't think of someone else who at all like radiates at your frequency.
但我能想象，虽然这种特质吸引了许多人，也可能让你觉得自己与那些高度相似的人格格不入。
But I could imagine that while that is something that captivates many, it also might make the person you feel like you don't fit in with those who are all very similar.
是啊。
Yeah.
我觉得这种关于融入群体、一生都要感到舒适的观念被过度营销了。
I mean, I think that this whole idea of fitting in and feeling comfortable at all throughout your life is like very oversold.
也许通过电影之类的媒介，有些人确实拥有朋友圈，他们在高中时自我感觉良好。
Maybe by the movies or whatever like that some people out there have a friend group and they feel great about themselves in high school.
但我认为在大学、二十多岁、三十多岁时这根本不可能。
Like I just don't think that's possible in college, in your 20s, in your 30s.
我预计四十多岁才有可能。
I'm expecting it in my 40s.
我觉得这种观念被严重夸大了。
Like I think that that's way oversold.
我认为即便是那些用'引号'标榜的所谓受欢迎、见多识广或看起来一切尽在掌握的人，实际情况也远非你想象的那样。
I think even the most and I use like air quotes like popular or well informed or seeming like they have it all together are are really not in the way that you think they are.
我觉得每个人都在挣扎，就像安吉丽娜·朱莉、詹妮弗·安妮斯顿和你崇拜的其他偶像，他们可能和你一样在苦苦挣扎。
I think everyone's struggling in the way that like Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston and whoever else you idolize like are probably struggling just the same as you.
对我来说，融入意味着我来自一个小镇，那里每个人的梦想都是结婚生子、买房安家。
For me the fitting in was that I was from this really small town and everyone's dream was to like get married and have children and like get a house.
而我的梦想是，我要去意大利冒险，要穿着闪亮的丁字裤，我就是不想要普通人的生活。
And my dream was like, I need to be in Italy on an adventure and I wanna be wearing a sparkly g string and like, I just didn't want the normal thing.
为此我内疚了很久，因为我总觉得，哦，我格格不入。
And I felt really guilty by that for a long time because I was like, oh, I don't fit in.
而我渴望的是...甚至我还有个从一年级就认识的最好的朋友凯蒂。
And I want these like, even I have the same best friend since the first grade, Katie.
她已经结婚了。
And she's married.
她住在温尼伯。
She lives in Winnipeg.
她有两个孩子。
She's two kids.
现在离婚了，但重新...你们是
She's divorced now, but re You guys are
就像真正的《萤火虫小巷》一样。
like the real Firefly Lane.
我们确实是。
We are.
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然后我就自嘲，因为我会说'天啊'。
And and it's like, I laugh at myself because I'll be like, oh my god.
我在全食超市看到羽衣甘蓝要7美元。
I was at Whole Foods and the kale was like $7.
她还说温尼伯的房价中位数才3万4千美元。
And she was like, you know, like the median house price in Winnipeg is like $34,000.
对吧？
Right?
我当时就想，这价格也就够买辆特斯拉？
And I was like, so like a Tesla?
我感觉自己太'洛杉矶'了。
Like, I'm just so LA.
我真是脱离现实。
I'm so out of touch.
就是...我也不知道怎么说。
And it's just like, I don't know.
我以前确实为此感到非常尴尬，但现在我已经释怀了。
I just I used to feel really embarrassed by that, but now I'm okay with it.
先暂停一下，有个重要问题要问。
Quick pause for an important question.
你今天喝够水了吗？
Have you had enough water today?
75%的美国人都处于脱水状态。
Seventy five percent of Americans are dehydrated.
这很疯狂吧？
Isn't that wild?
美国有75%的人饮水不足。
Seventy five percent of people in The US don't drink enough water.
多年的运动生涯让我深刻理解保持水分的重要性，所以现在我桌上总放着半加仑水的HydroJug水壶。
And all my years of playing sports helped me understand how important it is to be hydrated, and that is why I have a half gallon of water sitting here on my desk in a beautiful HydroJug.
HydroJug全天候满足你的补水需求。
HydroJug is here to take care of your hydration needs throughout the day.
这些耐用且可重复使用的水壶容量超过半加仑，这样你就不必每小时都去接水，也不用丢弃大量塑料瓶。
These durable and reusable jugs hold more than a half gallon, so you don't have to keep filling up a tiny bottle every hour or throw away tons of plastic.
绝对不行。
Big no no.
HydroJug水壶还可以用洗碗机清洗。
HydroJugs are also dishwasher safe.
它们采用宽口设计和一体式把手。
They have a wide mouth opening and an integrated handle.
哦，而且就算摔到地上也不会碎裂。
Oh, and they're also shatterproof if you drop them.
除了超强的便利性和实用功能外，HydroJug水壶外观也很可爱漂亮。
And on top of their incredible convenience and great function, HydroDugs are just cute, good looking bottles.
有众多鲜艳醒目的颜色可选。
There are so many bright and bold colors.
你可以根据个人喜好进行定制。
You can customize it to your liking.
它们还配有可直接套在瓶身上的氯丁橡胶套，既能保持水温又能装饰瓶子。
They even come with a neoprene sleeve that slips right over the bottle to keep your water cold and accessorize the bottle as well.
我现在用的是一款粉色瓶子配豹纹套。
I'm currently rocking a pink bottle with a cheetah print sleeve.
要我说，这真的超级可爱。
It's v cute if I do say so myself.
你可以访问www.vhydrojug.com查看Hydro Jug产品，并使用折扣码RealPod享受订单9折优惠。
You can check Hydro Jug out at www.vhydrojug.com and use discount code RealPod to get 10% off your order.
Hydro Jugs是改变游戏规则的产品，特别适合经常外出的运动人群。
Hydro Jugs are game changers for anyone on the go, especially you athletes out there.
我知道你们需要大量饮水。
I know you need to drink a lot of water.
这是个绝佳的解决方案。
This is a great solution.
再次提醒，访问www.thehydrojug.com购买全新HydroJug时，可使用折扣码RealPod享受9折优惠。
Again, you can use code RealPod for 10% off your brand new HydroJug at www.thehydrojug.com.
当我们快进到，比如说，成为外星人的时候。
When we fast forward to, like, being an ET.
对吧？
Right?
就像，你是超级事业心强的人。
Like, you're super career driven.
你有着如此远大的抱负。
You have these aspirations that are so high.
我有时觉得和很多朋友其实没什么共同语言
I sometimes feel like I don't necessarily relate to a lot of my friends.
我这么说并不是觉得自己比他们优越
And I don't say that to say I'm better than them.
这无关高低优劣之分
It's not a superior inferior thing.
真的就是这样，我男朋友经常得安抚我，比如这周末和朋友出去玩，在酒会上我却只想查邮件
It's literally just and my boyfriend has to talk me down all the time because I went out this weekend with friends and, like, I'm at the Darty and I just wanna check my emails.
我只是在思考周一要完成哪些事情。
I just am thinking about what I wanna accomplish on Monday.
就像，我根本心不在焉。
Like, I'm just not there.
而且，我内心有一部分会感到非常难过，因为我在想：我现在过的是我应该过的生活吗？
And, like, part of me gets really sad because I'm like, am I living the life I'm supposed to be living right now?
但为什么要为自己感到快乐的事情而愧疚呢？
But why should I feel bad about what brings me happiness?
你有没有觉得自己比实际年龄老了十岁？
Did you ever feel that you were ten years older than you were?
有啊。
Yeah.
我想对你说，也对所有年轻美丽的听众说：这是你们人生中最重要的事情。
And I will say to you and all of your young beautiful listeners, this is the most important thing of your life.
你必须努力活在当下。
You've got to try to stay present.
你今后无论做什么都会成功。
You will be successful in anything you do for the rest of your life.
你就是那样的人。
You are that person.
我整个二十多岁都在痴迷地做那样的女孩。
I spent all of my twenties, all obsessively being that girl.
除非是和能推动我事业发展的人约会，否则我绝不出门。
Unless I was going out with someone who was gonna further my career, I didn't go out.
我工作到凌晨两点。
I stayed up working till 02:00.
后来回顾二十多岁的时光，我才意识到那些本该真正活着的时刻。
And then I look back at my 20s and I was like, all those times that I should have been alive.
我当时只是在拼命努力。
I was just trying.
就是在工作。
Was working.
我正在朝着下一个目标前进。
I was getting to that next place.
无论如何你都会到达下一个目标。
You're gonna get to that next place no matter what.
如果你在周六晚餐时查邮件，或是周一早上查，你最终的成功程度不会有任何区别——因为这就是你。
If you check your emails at Saturday night at a dinner, you check them Monday morning, you're still gonna have the exact same level of success because that's who you are.
这是命中注定的。
It's it's in your destiny.
你的进取心决定了你终将获得成功。
It's your driven like you're going to have it.
但问题是成功并非永恒。
And the thing is is that success is not everlasting.
它们更像是山麓小丘。
So it's like their foothills.
而非巍峨高山。
They're not mountains.
所以一旦你获得了此刻追求的成功，你就会发现自己又身处下一个低谷，开始追逐下一个成功。
And so once you get the success that you think you're trying to get at this moment, then you're just going to be in the next valley and trying to get the next success.
这种感觉会伴随你的一生。
So it's like it lasts your whole life.
比如我明年就40岁了。
Like I'm going to be 40 next year.
就在上周，我坐在家里时还在想，我真是烦透了，因为我觉得自己本应走得更远。
And I literally last week was sitting at my house and I was like, I'm just so annoyed because I feel like I should be further along.
而克里斯说，你经营着价值数百万美元的企业，拿过艾美奖，拥有电视节目，还有退休金账户。
And Chris is like, run a multi million dollar business, you have Emmys, You have television shows like you have a retirement account.
他说你需要对现有生活心怀感恩。
Like he's like, you need to sit in your gratitude for your life.
你怎么敢这样想？
Like, how dare you?
这简直是对自己的侮辱，你明白吗？
Like it's so insulting, you know, to yourself.
所以你得好好生活。
So you gotta live.
你永远不会像现在这样年轻又无牵无挂。
You will never be this young and unattached.
我说的无牵无挂是指你还没有房贷压力。
And I mean like unattached and like you don't have a mortgage.
你不需要支付这些。
You're not paying.
在你人生的这个阶段，还不需要照顾年迈的父母。
You're not taking care of elderly parents at this point in your life.
你也不用担心这些。
You're not worried about.
天啊，得为退休存钱——虽然我希望你已经在存一点退休金了。
Oh my god, gotta save for my retirement, even though I hope you are saving a little bit for retirement.
但这就是你人生中最美好的时光。
But it's like, this is the best time of your life.
我知道你现在处于一段认真的感情关系中，所以不会建议你去和所有人发生关系，尽管我确实在某个时间点给你的评论里说过可以多和人交往。
And I know you're in a serious relationship, so I'm not gonna tell you to like go have sex with everyone, even though I would tell you to have sex with people in comments I gave you at some point.
但是，要活出自我。
But like, just live.
去尝试就好。
Just try.
好的。
Okay.
我想深入聊聊你刚才那个深刻的感悟，因为它太精彩了。
I wanna get on to this deep moment you had because it's fabulous.
不过我要先打断一下，因为你提到我现在处于认真的恋爱关系中。
But I wanna quickly pause because you said, you know, I'm in a serious relationship.
Max就是那个男孩。
Max is the boy.
我都不确定你还记不记得这件事。
I was I don't even know if remember this.
我当时在发短信，我记得这件事。
I was texting and I remember this.
那时是异地恋，而你当时就直接盯着我看——这真的很像你的风格。
Was long distance and you were like, were like, You literally look at me straight, which is this is just this is so you.
你直直地盯着我的眼睛。
You look at me straight in the eyes.
我当时像个18岁满怀希望的大一新生，正陷入...而你直接说'他绝对在出轨'。
I'm like an 18 year old, like hopeful freshman, like, falling in the You're oh, he's definitely cheating on you.
你甚至都不知道在同一个地方。
You're like, you don't even know same place.
哦，他出轨了。
Oh, he's cheating.
这真的很好笑。
And it was so funny.
你就这样直接说'不'。
You're like, nope.
这段感情会结束的。
It's gonna end.
你会遇到其他男生。
You're gonna meet other guys.
我当时就那样看着她，心想，她之前说的每件事都应验了。
And I was just like looking at her like, I mean, she's been right about everything.
总之，我现在还和马克斯在一起。
Anyways, I'm still with Max.
我们一直在争吵
It's been fighting I
我知道你们还在一起。
know you are.
这是我唯一判断错的事。
That's one thing I'm wrong about.
所以，那件事真的特别好笑。
So so it's just that was just so funny.
不过，关于你说的要活在当下。
But, yes, about you saying be present.
是啊。
Yeah.
我明白你的意思，我也确实在努力寻找那种平衡。
I hear what you're saying, and I do feel like I try to find that balance.
但我内心有一部分在质疑，就像，哦，如果你周六不看邮件，事情真的就会发生吗？
But part of me wonders like, you're like, oh, it's gonna happen if you don't if you don't check the email on Saturday or what.
然后我就想，但真的会吗？
And I'm like I'm like, but is it?
我在想，也许事情会发生，但能达到我期望的程度吗？
I'm like, maybe it will happen, but will it happen to the extent I want?
还有一点很糟的是，作为创业者，我们的职业没有终点。
And the other thing that sucks about our careers as like entrepreneurs and, you know, there's no end.
不像奥运会拿了金牌就能宣告结束。
It's not like we have an Olympics and we get the gold and then it's like over.
对他们来说，这也没有结束。
And even for them, it's not over.
他们可能还想参加下一届奥运会。
They wanna maybe go the next quad.
所以我跟其他网红聊过这个话题：到底多少粉丝才算够？
So I've had this conversation with other influencers like, what amount of followers is enough?
你采访过谁？
Who do you interview?
然后你说，啊，我在播客领域已经成功了。
And then you say, oh, I've made it in podcasting.
而且这永无止境。
And there's no end.
所以我意识到我们必须自己定义成功
So I've realized we have to make it for ourselves
以某种方式。
somehow.
是啊。
Yeah.
没有终点，也没有快乐按钮。
There's no end and there's no happy button.
就像，没有什么事情是你做了就能一劳永逸的。
Like, there's no thing that you're gonna do.
当你做到时，我曾以为采访奥普拉就是我成功的标志。
And when you do it, I was like, when I interview Oprah, I'll have made it.
然后你采访了奥普拉五次，你会觉得她确实很棒。
And then you interview Oprah five times and you're like, she's great.
她人很好。
She's lovely.
但我并没有感到更多的满足。
But like, I don't feel more.
我想说过去一年里，我一直在深刻反思这个问题：到底什么时候才算是足够？
I will say the things in the last year, I've been doing so much soul searching to this exact point of like, when is it going to be enough?
你明白吗？
You know?
我想我最终想明白的是，如果我的生计足够稳定，我是否能负担得起那些基本开销？比如我能还清信用卡吗？
And I and I think the thing that I've pinned down is if I am comfortable enough in my livelihood, can I afford the things like my can I pay off my credit card?
我能付清账单吗？
Can I pay my bills?
我能偿还房贷吗？
Can I pay my mortgage?
我是否存有应急资金，这样即便一切搞砸了，我也不用担心自己的处境？
Do I have a nest egg so that if it all blows up in my face, I don't have to worry about where I'm at?
我有足够的钱吗？
Do I have money?
我能否改变他人的生活？
And can I change other people's lives?
我能否匿名捐款给那些我不需要借此彰显成就的地方？就像'凯尔蒂捐了这笔钱给某某'——我更愿意匿名捐赠，仅仅因为这是我内心认同的事。
Can I donate anonymously to places I don't need it as an achievement of like, oh, Kelty gave this money to whoever like I can donate anonymously and just do it because it's something that I believe in?
我有那些生死与共的友谊吗？
Do I have those ride or die friendships?
你知道吗，我是否感到安心，如果我年迈的父母——你知道，如果他们明天住进医院，我是否觉得自己已经陪伴他们足够多的时间了？
You know, do I feel good that if my parents who are aging, you know, if they went into the hospital tomorrow, do I feel like I've spent enough time with them?
我是否觉得自己拥有足够的回忆？
Do I feel like I have enough memories?
我有足够的照片吗？
Do I have enough photos?
我对他们的历史了解得足够多吗？
Do I know enough about their history?
这些才是让我感到富足的东西。
Those are the things that make me feel rich.
这些才是让我觉得自己活出了人生价值的东西。
And those are the things that make me feel like I have achieved a life.
艾美奖、古驰和-谷和《美国周刊》这些确实很有趣，非常有趣，但它们并不能构成人生的意义。
The Emmys and the Gucci and the Us Weeklys are so fun, so fun, but they are not the things that make a life.
既然你已经有了这些领悟，你说过你已经完成了所有的灵魂探索，现在你要把这些认知带入你仍在继续的'姐妹帮'事业中。
So now that you've had these realizations, and you said you've done all the soul searching, you are taking that knowledge with you into your lady gang career, which is still ever going.
比如，我有时候不知道你有没有想过这个，但我就想，她们会不会变成'奶奶帮'之类的，对啊。
Like, I sometimes I don't know if you ever think about this, but I'm like I'm like, are they gonna be like grandma ganging and like Yeah.
奶奶帮。
Granny gang.
哦，奶奶帮。
Oh, granny gang.
哦
Oh, yeah.
是的
Mean, when we started Lady Gang, Jack was single.
这个句子开头需要大写字母
Jack just froze embryos.
杰克刚刚冻存了胚胎
I mean, we have been through miscarriages and fertility and breakups and stalkers and houses and cities.
是啊，我觉得只要我们还乐在其中，就会一直这样做下去。
And yeah, I think it's one of those things that as long as we're having a good time doing it that we're gonna continue to do it forever.
你知道，我绝对相信'奶奶帮'会成为现实。
You know, I definitely believe in Granny Gang.
我全力支持。
I'm there for it.
我也完全支持。
I am here for that as well.
那么现在带着新的人生观，你如何在幕后运作'女士帮'的生意呢？
So how do you function now in the lady gang behind the scenes running the business with your new mentality on life?
我正在学着享受周末。
I'm trying to enjoy my weekends.
我...我给自己设定了一些界限，这对我来说很陌生，因为你知道我本来不是这样的人。
I am I I I have set some boundaries which are so strange for me because you know I'm not this person.
我是说维多利亚当实习生时，她经常在我老房子的车库里和我爸爸一起打包'女士帮'的盒子。
I mean, Victoria, when she was the intern, she would be she was at my house, my old house in the garage packing lady boxes boxes with my dad.
我是说，就像，我当时想，今天是周六，全家人都在这里。
I mean, it's like, I was like, it's Saturday, the whole family's here.
我们要他妈的工作十二个小时，然后点个披萨。
We're gonna fucking work for twelve hours and order a pizza.
你知道，我觉得我设了一些界限，比如'不，今晚我要在热水浴缸里看《鲁保罗变装皇后秀》，吃个冰淇淋三明治'。
You know, I I think I have a few boundaries where I'm like, no, tonight is I'm gonna watch RuPaul's Drag Race in the hot tub and eat an ice cream sandwich.
就像，这就是我的快乐。
Like, that's that's my happiness.
你知道最有趣的是什么吗？虽然我不确定，但我想在RealPod上你肯定能找到科学家解释这个现象。
And you know what's so interesting and I don't know, I'm sure on RealPod you can like go find a scientist to explain this.
但当我开始平衡生活——'平衡'这个词可能不太准确，因为这其实是个挣扎的过程，就像在平衡与挣扎之间摇摆。
But the minute that I started balancing or balancing is not a right word because I have to it's a struggle like the balance of struggle struggle of balance.
当我开始给自己一点活着的时间时。
The minute I started giving myself a little time to be alive.
我的指甲居然长长了。
My nails grew.
我的头发变得有光泽了。
My hair got shiny.
我的皮肤变得有光泽了。
My skin got shiny.
我当时想，哦，我可以做到这个，而且我不再那么执念地想着它了。
I was like, oh, I can do this and I wasn't thinking so obsessively about it.
当然，我们余生都会保持某种执念，但我觉得我的外在仿佛在说，哦。
Of course, we're all going be obsessive for the rest of our lives, but it's like I feel like my outside was like, oh.
你没事的。
You're okay.
我的睫毛从未这么长过。
Like my eyelashes have never been longer.
我是不是用了什么神奇的精华液？
Am I using an amazing serum?
其实没有。
Not really.
它们简直在发光。
Like they're just fucking glowing.
我不知道是怎么回事。
I don't know what it is.
但你
But you're
又回到了那种状态，你懂吧？
back to like, you know?
健康，你今晚看起来容光焕发。
Healthy, you are looking sunny tonight.
这其中的关键是什么？
What is the key to this?
你看起来心理健康状况很好。
You're like, good mental health.
是啊。
Yeah.
我我不知道。
I I don't know.
我我知道。
I I know.
我是说，显然，我感恩节那次经历太疯狂了。
I mean, obviously, I had this crazy experience for Thanksgiving.
所以感恩节时，我去了一个静修营，人生第一次体验了音疗浴。
So for Thanksgiving, I went away to this retreat and I had a sound bath for the first time in my life.
你做过音疗浴吗？
Have you done a sound bath?
没有。
No.
好吧。
Okay.
是的。
Yeah.
我知道。
I know.
听起来像是在浪费时间。
It sounds like a waste of time.
你就像在说，我不。
You're like, I'm No.
确实如此。
It does.
只是听起来像是我从未听说过的东西。
It just sounds like something I've never heard.
所以我才会那样说。
That's why I said it like that.
好吧。
Okay.
基本上，我们围坐在户外，做一些呼吸练习，比如冥想式的两呼一吸，持续约二十分钟，然后他们就开始播放音浴。
So basically, we like sat in this circle outside, and you do these breathing exercises where you kind of like do this meditative like two breaths out, a breath in, two breath out, and you do that for like twenty minutes, and then they just play the sound bath.
因为据说我们体内大约98%都是水分——虽然我也不确定，毕竟我不是医生，但Kelty医生说我们98%都是水，因为我们身体里有大量水分，而且大脑周围也充满水。
And because we are like 98% water inside of us or whatever that I don't know what I'm not a doctor doctor Kelty says we're 98% because we have so much water in our bodies and water surrounding our brains.
声音浴中的那些声响。
The sounds in the sound bath.
它们会重新调整所有水分的振动频率，让你的大脑得以放松并感知事物，整个身体系统都会随之运转。
They rework all the vibrations of that water and allow your brain to like relax and feel things and like your whole system goes.
我坐在这个声音浴里。
I'm sitting in this sound bath.
我在哭。
I'm crying.
我歇斯底里地抽泣着，甚至开始过度换气，仅仅因为这些振动是我经历过最疯狂的事。
I'm like, weeping hysterically like hyperventilating just because all this vibration is is the most insane thing.
我当时就想，你知道吗，这让我对过去每次觉得‘运动后感觉好些了’有了新的认识。
And I was like, you know what, This makes me feel better about every time I've been like, oh, when I work out, I feel a little better.
当我照顾好自己的心理健康时，确实会感觉好一些
When I, you know, take care of myself, my mental health, I feel a little better on
外表上。
the outside.
就像，这一切都是相互关联的。
Like, it's all connected.
百分之千是这样的。
It is a thousand percent.
说实话，心理健康主要取决于一个人的心理状态范围。
And honestly, mental health is predominantly the scope of someone's mental health.
不，你无法通过外表看出来。
No, you're not gonna see by looking at them.
但我觉得你可以瞥见一二。
But I think you can get a glance.
我是说，今早看着我的样子，如果我告诉你我已经连续五天每天以泪洗面，你也不会感到惊讶吧。
I mean, I'm sure looking at me this morning, you're not shocked if I told you I've cried every day for five days consecutively.
所以，你看，这就是为什么我没化妆。
But and, you know, that's why I'm, like, not wearing makeup.
我早起是为了交东西。
I I woke up early to turn something in.
我没赶上截止日期。
I didn't hit the deadline.
说实话，这就是为什么我觉得今天能采访Kelty会很好。
Like, I and honestly, that's why I was like, it's gonna be nice to interview Kelty today.
我在想，如果我想和谁聊聊，那一定是Kelty，因为我感觉她也有过这样的早晨。
I'm like, if I wanted to talk to anyone, it would be Kelty because I just feel like she's had these mornings as well.
是啊。
Yeah.
不过，确实。
But, yeah.
不，我...我理解。
No, I I I understand.
而且人们确实会发光
And it's definitely people glow
你能看到他们的快乐在向外闪耀。
and you can see their happiness kind of outwardly shine.
但问题是，维多利亚，除非你哭泣，否则你无法闪耀。
But the thing is, Victoria, is that you cannot shine unless you cry.
你知道吗？
You know?
所以当你哭泣，当你难过，当你连续哭了五天，当你错过截止日期，所有这些事情的发生都是为了当事情顺心时，你能真正投入并享受那一刻，明白吗？
So when you cry, when you get upset, when you cry for five days straight, when you miss a deadline, all of those things happen so that when things go your way, you can lean in and like really enjoy that, you know?
比如我经常哭。
Like I cry all the time.
我丈夫总是对我说，这是我悲伤的各个阶段。
I'm my husband always says to me like, these are the stages of my grief.
嫉妒。
Jealousy.
首先，我看到别人做了别的事情，那些我希望自己正在做的事，我就会非常嫉妒，非常生气，内心变得非常阴暗。
First, I see someone do something else, something I wish I was doing and I get really jealous and I get really mad and I get really nasty like inside myself.
我不会表现出来。
I don't like put it out.
然后我就会全身心投入。
Then I get committed.
接着我就会想：我要做那件事。
Then I'm like I'm gonna do that thing.
然后我会变得极度坚定，拼命工作直到梦想成真，但随即又会陷入巨大的失落，因为目标达成后突然失去了生活意义。
Then I get super determined where I work my ass off and then it comes true, and then I get super fucking sad again because I've like hit the goal and I have nothing to live for.
于是我又得寻找下一个让我嫉妒的目标，好让自己重新振作起来，你懂吧。
And then I gotta find the next thing to be jealous of so that it like poops me into like the place, you know.
但我意识到自己花了太多人生精力在逃避痛苦、掩饰艰难时刻和否认低谷上。
But I think that I've spent so much of my life trying to not be upset or to not show that it's hard or have those lows.
可那些低谷——那才是生命中的香槟啊。
But the lows like that's that's the that's the champagne of life.
正是这些糟心事让生活的其他部分显得光彩夺目。
Like that's the shit that makes the rest shine.
因为如果你从未经历过低谷，也就不会有高峰。
Because you're you wouldn't have the highs if you never had the lows.
一切都会变得平庸，就像中间的高原一样。
Everything would just be like mediocre plateau in the middle.
所以，你需要悲伤。
So, you need sadness.
我是说，
I mean,
虽然这么说很老套，但如果你不跪地祈求它发生，那就不值得。
it's so it's so cliche to say, but it's like, it's not worth it if you're not on your hands and knees begging for it to happen.
你懂吗？
You know?
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
就像，我不想再那么辛苦了，因为我老了，但你们年轻人就该吃点苦头。
It's like it's like, I don't want it to be hard anymore for me because I'm old, but like it should definitely be hard for you.
是啊。
Yeah.
我同意。
I agree.
而且我也认为，重要的是，想要获得人生中美好的事物就必须付出努力。
And I also think too, you know, something that is important is like, it's gonna take hard work to get awesome things in life.
如果我没有连续五天哭鼻子，如果事情不是那么艰难，而且我还热爱我正在做的事情。
And if I wasn't crying five days in a row, if it wasn't really hard, and also it's like, I love what I'm doing.
比如实习的时候，我最初以为自己想从事娱乐新闻工作。
Like, when I was interning, I thought first, I thought I wanted to work in entertainment journalism.
但那份实习经历让我意识到，娱乐新闻并不适合我。
And then I have that internship and it was nothing to do with you, but I just realized entertainment journalism wasn't for me.
于是我就转到了体育新闻，那时我正经历着作为运动员的各种挑战。
And so then I switched sports journalism and then I was going through all my own stuff as an athlete.
所以我就想，哦，我不想报道比赛和数据统计，因为我觉得这对我来说不如讲述场外的故事重要。
So I was like, oh, I don't wanna report on the game and the statistics because I don't think it's as important to me as telling the story of what's happening off the field.
因此，虽然我热爱我的工作，但任何值得拥有的非凡成就。
And so it's like, I love what I do, but doing anything awesome or that's worth having.
是啊。
Yeah.
就像你说的，你得跪地恳求才能得到它。
Like you said, you gotta be on your hands and knees begging for it.
这将会很艰难。
It's going to be difficult.
所以，没错。
So, yeah.
对。
Yeah.
不。
No.
而且这是个很好的反思。
And it's a good reflection.
就像有时候当你感到悲伤或压力山大时，你可以退一步说，这就是奋斗的过程。
It's like, sometimes when you're sad or it's stressful, you can just sit back and say, well, this is the grind.
就像这是最终获得美好事物必经的一部分。
Like this is a part of having something really beautiful in the end.
问题是我想说的是，我们太沉迷于这种奋斗心态，总觉得'我拼得这么辛苦'。
And the thing is is that I just wanna say this like, we we're so into this like grind mentality of like, I grind so hard.
关键在于，无论你是创业者自主创业（就像我现在的人生阶段），还是像我丈夫那样为公司打工领固定薪水——他这周表现再好，薪水不变；表现再差，薪水也不变。
And the thing is is that whether you're an entrepreneur and you're doing your own thing, which is where I'm at in life or like my husband who works for a company gets a paycheck like, if he's great this week, he gets the same paycheck and if he's bad this week, he gets the same paycheck.
那种压力是完全不同的，因为你总是担心会被解雇。
Like that's a different level of stress because you're kind of scared you're gonna get fired all the time.
对我来说，我不怕被解雇。
For me, I'm not scared of getting fired.
我根本不会被解雇。
I can't get fired.
我是老板。
I'm the owner.
但如果我这周不工作，我就拿不到钱。
But if I don't work this week, I don't get paid.
如果我这周不努力工作，我们就无法实现下一个目标。
If I don't work hard this week, we don't get to that next thing.
你明白我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
这是另一种压力。
It's a different kind of pressure.
所以我觉得你真的应该给自己留些宽容的便签。
So I think you should really just give yourself post it note of grace.
是啊，我知道结束后还得再添七八件事。
Yeah, I know I gotta I gotta add like seven more things to it when we're done.
现在是什么能让你感到快乐？你又是如何不再从外部寻求这种认可的？
What is it now that brings you happiness and how do you not seek that approval anymore externally?
我绝对还在寻求认可。
I absolutely still seek the approval.
我只是想100%明确一点。
I just want to be like 100% clear.
我正积极通过治疗、写作和自我提升来努力克服这个问题，每一步都在努力。
I am actively working in therapy and writing and myself to try to overcome that at every step of the way.
目前我在做一个秘密项目。
Right now, I'm working on a project that is secret.
我不能谈论它。
I can't talk about it.
我不能告诉你。
I can't tell you.
我会私下告诉你。
I'll tell you offline.
但这个项目我已经做了快九个月了，大概再过一个月就会宣布。
But I've been working on it for almost nine months, and we're probably a month away from announcing it.
我迫不及待想公开一些成果，让大家都能认可说'干得好，Kelty'。
And I'm bursting at the seams to have something publicly outwardly that everyone can be like, job, Kelty.
因为一直以来我都在自我激励，对自己说'干得好，Kelty'，拍拍自己的背。
Because it's like I've been fueling myself and my own like, good job, Kelty, pat on the back.
但这太累了。
And that's exhausting.
我只想要有人为我鼓掌，所以我要非常明确地说——我还没完全克服这种心态。
I just want someone to clap for me and like, so I just wanna be very, very clear that I am not over it.
我正在对抗自己天性中那种时刻渴望被认可的本能。
I'm working against my natural inclination to want to be approved at all moments.
但我要说的是，我现在不那么在意全世界怎么想，更关注我们Lady Gang建立的女性社群的想法。
But what I will say is that I am less worried about what the entire world thinks and more interested in what the community of women that we have built in Lady Gang thinks.
记得以前经常上电视时，我总想成为'女版Ryan Seacrest'。
So I think when I was on TV a lot, I was like, I wanna be the female Ryan Seacrest.
我希望所有人都知道我的名字。
I want everyone to know my name.
而现在我想，即使再也不会登上《Us Weekly》杂志，我也无所谓了。
And now I'm like, I'm okay if I'm never in Us Week weekly again.
我不再需要那些了，但我确实希望我们的社区能因此改变生活。
Like I don't need that anymore, but I do want our community to have their lives changed.
我希望她们能有所触动，或者因为加入了这个女性社区而拥有更好的生活。
Like I do want them to feel something or have a better life because they've become part of the lady in community.
我认为这才是
And I think that's a
很好的第一步是，对我来说完全不介意别人怎么想是不现实的，但我可以把注意力转移到那些我真正在意并重视他们意见的人身上。
great first step is like, it's not realistic for me to not give a f what anyone thinks of me, but I can just shift to the people that I actually do care for and I do wanna value their opinions.
而且你看，你的Lady Gang社群不会因为不喜欢某件事就把你批得体无完肤。
And look, your Lady Gang community is not gonna rip you to shreds if they didn't like something.
他们会说，亲爱的我们爱你，但这次有点偏离目标了。
They would be like, healthy, we love you, but this missed the mark.
他们不会伤害你的感情。
Like they wouldn't they wouldn't hurt your feelings.
所以我觉得，嗯，
So I think Well,
我是说，确实有人伤害过我的感情，有人攻击过我们，他们确实把我们说得一无是处。
I mean, people definitely hurt my feelings and people come for us and they definitely tear us apart.
但那些真正重要的人，那些真正关心这个社区的人，就像我不会去你的晚宴，然后坐在餐桌前骂你是个白痴、贱人、糟糕透顶。
But the people that matter, I think the people that are really invested in the community, it's like I wouldn't go to your dinner party and then sit at the dinner table and tell you that you're a fucking idiot and a bitch and awful.
我会说，伯内特不适合你，姐妹。
I would say, Burnett is not for you girl.
永远别剪银行（注：此处可能是口误或特殊表达，保留直译）。
Never don't cut banks.
你知道，他们会委婉地告诉你，但我只接受来自我爱和信任的人的反馈。
You know, would tell you like kinda but like, I only take that feedback from people that I love and trust.
我不需要旁观者指指点点，因为我早就知道自己所有的缺点。
I don't need it from the peanut gallery because I already know all my flaws and all of them.
我清楚的那些缺点，有些甚至是你根本不想知道的。
I know them that some that you don't even public even wanna know about.
你懂我意思吗？
You know what I mean?
我非常清楚自己最阴暗的那一面，根本不需要别人来提醒我——那些东西早就浮在表面了。
Like I am so well aware of the darkest sides of me that I don't need other people coming at me and bringing it up to the surface like it's already there.
所以我宁愿接受来自我爱的人的批评。
So I would rather take that criticism from other people people that I love.
是啊，当别人指出你自己都厌恶的事情时，伤害会放大三倍。
Yeah, I mean it hits three times as much when someone else points out the thing that you already hated.
是啊。
Yeah.
噢，没错。
Oh, yeah.
我就想：你该不会以为我不知道这是个错误吧？
And I'm like, you don't think I know that this was a mistake?
过去三年我每天24小时都在想这件事。
I've been thinking about it twenty four seven for the last three years.
我当然知道这是个错误，你懂吗？
Of course, I know it was a mistake, you know?
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
是啊。
Yeah.
还有一点。
That's another thing.
就像运动教会我的那样，我们必须专注于下一分。
It's just like, that's something sports taught me is we have to move on to the next point.
你不能一直纠结。
Like, you just can't linger.
你必须准备下一场比赛。
You have to move on the next game.
所以我很感激自己学到了这一课。
So I feel grateful that I kind of learned that lesson.
你知道，沉溺于过去无法改变过去。
Like, you know, ruminating on the past isn't gonna change the past.
这只会让我无法活在当下，也无法调整未来。
It's just taking away from me living now and possibly adjusting the future.
我的前老板布拉德·贝西教了我一件事。
My old boss, Brad Bessie, he taught me something.
我总是害怕在他面前犯错，因为他非常严厉。
I was always constantly afraid of making mistakes in front of him because he was really hard.
于是我有了这句小箴言：明天要犯更好的错误。
And I had this little mantra, make better mistakes tomorrow.
你总会犯错的。
You're always gonna make mistakes.
只是尽量不要重复犯同样的错误。
Just try not to make the same mistake over and over again.
就像转换思路，明天犯个更高级的错误。
Just like switch gears, make a better mistake tomorrow.
明天要犯个更有见识的错误，因为人不可能不犯错。
Make a more informed mistake tomorrow because you can't not make mistakes.
没错。
Right.
你的精力。
Your energy.
很明显，你醒来就是那种干劲十足的人。
Like, obviously, you wake up and you're like, just you are a go getter.
就像你提到的，在做节目期间还兼顾那么多工作。
Like, all the the hours you mentioned you worked while doing the show and everything.
你是怎么保持那种精力的？
How do you maintain that energy?
有什么秘诀吗？
What are your secrets?
比如，你有没有过早上醒来时心想‘我根本不想干这破事’，但最后还是去做了？
Like, when you do you ever wake up and you're like, I don't wanna do this shit and then you do it anyways?
或者你会直接取消当天的计划，留到第二天再做？
Or do you cancel your day and do it the next day?
你是怎么做到时刻保持满分状态的？
Like, how do you manage being a 10 out of 10 all the time?
是啊。
Yeah.
这个嘛，我必须这样。
Well, I have to.
我妈妈刚在《Lady Gang》节目里谈到这点，因为人们从没见过我消沉的样子。
My mom was actually just on Lady Gang and she was discussing this because it is something that people because they never see me in the down.
她说‘Kelty要么是满分10分，要么就是负10分’。
She's like, no, Kelty is like a 10 or she's a minus 10.
我非此即彼。
Like I'm either.
当我决定行动时就会立即执行，计划好的事项都会记在日程本上。
When I'm going I go when I make something it's in the date book.
我必须九点完成这个。
I have to do this at nine.
十点要做这个，十一点接着那个，我就这样连轴转，每次都全力以赴。
I have to this at ten after this eleven like I go go go go go and I give it 100%.
而那些我不想动的日子，我会确保不给自己安排任何计划。
And then the days when I don't like I make sure to not plan something for myself.
我懒散得就像树懒本懒。
I am the slothiest sloth.
有时候我能赖床到下午四点半都不起来。
There are times that I do not get out of bed until 04:30PM.
我会躺在床上看书、泡澡，泡完澡接着小睡，然后继续睡觉。
I will lay in bed, I will read, I will take a bath, I will then take a nap after my bath, and then I will sleep again.
我最爱去水疗中心放松。
I love to go to the spa.
比如，我会拼命工作，然后花一千美元去水疗中心，就为了能好好休息一天。
Like, I will will work so hard, and then I will spend a thousand dollars at the spa just to, like, have a day of rest.
真的，我懒散起来简直毫无底线，但这就是我的生活方式。
Like, I sloth so fucking hard, and that's the only way to do it.
你有没有一些绝对不能妥协的原则，能让你保持这种状态？
Do you have any non negotiables, like, that keep you in that?
比如说，我每天七点必须起床。
Like, I'm gonna wake up at seven.
我会化妆。
I do my makeup.
有没有几件固定要做的事，能让你在状态好的时候保持满分状态？
Like, are there like a few things that you do that help you keep that 10 out of 10 when it's there?
对我来说，每天都要和自己讨价还价的非妥协项就是某种形式的健身。
For me, one of the non negotiables that I'd negotiate against myself every single day is some sort of physical fitness.
最近这一年我都在下午四点锻炼，这时间糟透了——整天我都在自我谴责'凯尔蒂得去锻炼了'，等真练完我又想'明天还得再来一遍'，说实话我完全享受不了锻炼过程。
I lately in the past year have been working out at 4PM, which is the worst time because like I've all day I'm like guilty myself like Kelty got to work out, Kelty got to work out, Kelty got to work out, Kelty got to work out, then I work out and then I'm like, oh, and then it's gonna be tomorrow again and then I'm gonna have to, you know, there's no part of me that like enjoys a workout.
我不像那种会热爱舞蹈课的人，但也从不会说'天啊等不及要去跑步了'。
I'm not like, I love a dance class, but like, I'm never like, oh my god, I can't wait to go for a run.
但如果我不运动，就会变得非常沮丧。
But if I don't, I get so sad.
我真的需要那种通过身体活动释放内啡肽的感觉。
Like I really need the endorphins of just doing something physical and getting it out of my body.
所以这是不容妥协的原则。
So that's the non negotiable.
我必须得坚持运动。
I gotta gotta do it.
当我不运动时，就会感觉糟透了。
And when I don't, I feel like shit.
我很欣赏这点。
I love that.
这对我来说是个巨大调整，因为我过去被迫每天训练，每周五六天，每次都要练好几个小时。
That's been quite the adjustment for me because I was being forced to work out every single day, five, six days a week for hours.
而现在
And now
我正在自己摸索。
I'm figuring it out myself.
但这真的很难。
But it's really hard.
在你二十多岁这个人生阶段，当你经历...我跳舞时也经历过同样的事情，后来我逐渐转向...
This this time in your life, in your twenties, when you go from like, I I went through the same thing when I was dancing and then I I kind of went on to like You
基本上就是职业运动员的强度
were essentially a pro athlete.
没错
Right.
确实如此
Exactly.
但当你还在工作室或学校时，你整天上学，然后训练大约六小时，接着去健身房做力量训练
And but when you're in your studio or your school or whatever, you're you're you go to school all day and then you work out for like six hour day and then you're in the gym and then you're strengthening.
然后要切换到生活的休闲模式是非常困难的。
And then to go into like your casual mode of your life is very hard.
这对你的身体来说非常艰难。
It's very hard on your body.
这对你的心理也非常艰难，因为你再也无法恢复到职业运动员时期的身材或体能水平。
It's very hard on your psyche because you will never be the same shape or fitness level you were when you were like a professional athlete.
再说，你可以参加所有普拉提课程，做所有锻炼。
Again, you can do every Pilates class, every workout.
当你进入那种职业运动员般的超级燃烧状态时，会有种特别的感觉。
There's something about when you get into like like super burn mode of like being a professional athlete.
这真的很难。
And it's really hard.
这就是为什么我欣赏你所做的事。
That's why I love what you do.
在职业运动生涯结束后，依然爱自己现在的身体真的很难。
It's really hard to still love yourself in your post professional career body.
确实如此。
For sure.
是啊。
Yeah.
就像复活节那天，我穿上一条裙子，发现我的腿——通常我的腿从14岁起就一直很紧实。
Even like Easter, I literally put on a dress and my legs just usual my legs have always been toned like from when I was 14.
但那次我第一次觉得，它们看起来软趴趴的。
And this was the first time I was like, they just look like squishy.
你知道，我整晚都在消化这个感受，这确实需要适应。
And, you know, I had to sit with that for the night and like, you know, it's an adjustment for sure.
而且我们的身体就是这样，尤其是女性，会经历很多次变化。
And that's the thing about our bodies too, especially as women, like they're gonna change so many times.
我记得曾经以为，人的身体只会改变一次。
I remember thinking, oh, your body only changes once.
就是当你开始发育胸部的时候。
It's when you get like tits.
然后你会发现，不，它还会经历无数次的改变。
And then it's like, no, it's gonna change a million other times.
不，而且这又是一个过程。
No, and and again, it's a process.
我觉得我们容易陷入的误区是——如果我做了这件事，吃了这个，做了这个锻炼，就能达到赢得艾美奖的状态。
Like, I think where we trip ourselves up is like, if I do this thing, if I eat this thing, if I do this workout, then I'll get to this point where I win the Emmy.
拥有梦想中的身材，然后突然就能永远保持下去，余生都会感觉良好。
I have the body of my dreams, and you'll all of a sudden it'll just stay there and you'll feel good for the rest of your life.
事实并非如此。
That's not how it works.
当你达到目标时，你会想：天啊，我锻炼得这么辛苦。
You get there and you're like, oh my god, worked out so hard.
我看起来棒极了。
I look amazing.
我正在度假呢。
I'm on my vacation.
我正在拍这张比基尼自拍。
I'm taking this bikini selfie.
是啊，是啊，是啊。
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
然后呢，如果你想保持那种状态，就得继续锻炼，你懂的，或者类似的事情。
And then like, you gotta keep working out if you wanna keep that look, you know, or whatever it is.
但问题在于，如果你每天醒来都要强迫自己吃特定食物、锻炼或保持体型，而这本不该是你天生的体型。
But that's the thing is if you're having to wake up every day and it's literally such a task to eat certain foods or workout or, like, keep your shape, it's not the natural shape you're supposed to have.
我对此深信不疑。
Like, I'm a firm believer in that.
如果这件事耗尽了你所有精力，成为你每天的头等大事，那可能这就不是你身体本该有的自然状态。
If it's taking all the energy out of you and it has to be the number one thing on your day, like, that's just maybe not the natural shape your body is supposed to have.
但当然，我们生活在一个要求所有人都必须统一外形的社会，于是你会对自己的天生体型感到不安。
But, of course, we live in a society that tells you that we all have to look one way so then, you know, you feel insecure that your natural shape.
是啊。
Yeah.
这确实挺多的。
It's it's a lot.
但我很喜欢你们在书中真正触及了外貌、肉毒杆菌这些话题，因为很多处于你这种位置的女性并不这么做。
But I love that you guys in the book really kind of touched on appearance, the Botox, because not a lot not a lot of women in your position are doing it.
所以我觉得能承认这点很棒，不像那些不承认还试图归功于健身的人。
And so I think it's great to to admit it, unlike the people who don't and then try to play it off as their workouts.
是啊，我觉得诚实很重要，而且你要为将来生活中的这些变化做好准备。
Yeah, I mean, I think it's just being honest and and the thing is is like just get ready for this later on in your life.
就像现在，你的身体正在变化，但你依然拥有浓密的头发和年轻美丽的肌肤。
Like right now, your your body's changing, but you still have like thick hair and beautiful youthful skin.
而且阳光还没对你的胶原蛋白造成严重损伤，不会让你早上醒来看起来像玛格达（你可能都不知道她是谁，因为你太年轻没看过那部电影）。
And, you know, the sun has not damaged your collagen to the point where you wake up in the morning and you look like Magda, which probably don't even know who that is because you're so young, you haven't seen that movie.
但比如你醒来时，侧睡会导致胸部像皱巴巴的老奶奶皮肤一样。
But like, you wake up and you have like a crunky old grandma chest from like just sleeping on your side.
未来还会有更多更难接受的改变等着你。
Like, there's so many more changes that are even harder to swallow that are coming.
所以最重要的是，你要努力学会欣赏完整的自己，因为以后只会越来越难。
And so it's so important that like, you do the work to just enjoy your human entire self because it just gets harder.
比如，过去三年我过得特别艰难，因为当你快40岁时，就像游戏规则突然改变，所有别人说过会发生的事都开始发生，而你之前还觉得'不不不，我很特别，我涂了防晒霜'。
Like, I have had such a hard time in the past three years because when you're about to hit 40, it's like, it's a game changer because everything starts happening that everyone said was gonna happen and you were like, no no no, but I'm special and I wore sunscreen.
比如，'我才不会这样'。
Like, I'm not gonna have this.
然后它就真的发生了。
Then it it does.
然后你就会想'天啊，下巴那块肉永远回不来了'。如果你像我一样等到快四十岁才开始学着爱自己，那真的太吃亏了。
And you're like, oh my god, like there there's a there's a part of your chin that you will never get back and you just, God, if you if you if you don't start trying to love yourself until your late thirties like I did, you're at such a disadvantage.
我真的很为你现在做的事感到高兴，很高兴你二十多岁就在努力搞明白这些，因为人生路还长，未来会有很多让你讨厌自己的地方。
Like I'm so happy for what you're doing and I'm so happy you're trying to figure it the fuck out in your twenties because there's a long life ahead of you and there's gonna be a lot of shit you hate about yourself.
如果你至少能试着走上接纳之路，不让这个过程变得那么痛苦和烧脑，那就太棒了，对吧？
Like if you can just at least try to get on the path to like it and not have it be so horrible and such a brain fuck, then like, yay for you, you know?
我们还聊过奶奶帮呢。
And we talk about granny gang.
我已经完全准备好了。
I'm like fully prepared.
人们总是问，你的事业发展方向会是哪里？
People are always like, where are gonna go in your career?
其实，我会继续记录生活，做个妈妈博主。
I'm well, I will literally continue document I will be a mommy blogger.
会慢慢变老。
Will be aging.
我就觉得，无所谓啦。
I'm like, whatever.
我们会发老照片、真实动态、怀旧内容，随便什么都行。
We will old post, real post, old post, whatever it will be.
我就想，我们会继续走下去。
I'm like, we'll keep going.
所以你知道的，船到桥头自然直嘛
So, you know, we'll we'll cross that bridge when we
到达那里。
get there.
不过，是的。
But, yeah.
确实如此。
Exactly.
这就是我对Lady Gang的看法，我们能够持续五年就是因为这个——它不是建立在'哦我们都35岁了'这种基础上。
And that's what I think like with Lady Gang, it's like the reason why we've been able to have this thing for five years is no, it wasn't built on like, oh, we're 35.
就像我们刚开始约会时，我刚新婚不久。
Like now, when we were first dating people and stuff when we I was just brand new married.
现在我们都处在生育年龄阶段。
And now we're like in that fertility section of our life.
然后我们还会一起经历更年期。
And then we're going to be in the menopause section of our life.
我们都需要朋友和指引来度过人生的每个阶段。
Like we all need friends and guidance through all the different eras.
生命漫长，但愿如此，天意如此，你知道，这是件美好的事。
Life is long, hopefully, God willing and like, you know, that's that's a beautiful thing.
我真为你感到骄傲。
I'm so proud of you.
我确实看过你的视频。
I really like have watched your videos.
我特别记得这个，太有趣了。
And I remember specifically, this is so funny.
我清楚记得在办公室时你说，我想做这个关于运动员的项目，涉及体型之类的。
I remember specifically being in the office and you're like, I wanna do this thing where it's like, kind of about athletes and like, you know, like body image and stuff.
我当时就想，你个子真高。
And I was like, you're so tall.
你真漂亮。
You're so beautiful.
你穿着白裙在绿幕前看起来美极了，当时我正让你读这些节目开场词之类的。
You look amazing in this white dress on the green screen while I'm having you like read these like, you know, opens and stuff for the show.
我当时就觉得，你太美了。
And I was like, you're so beautiful.
你根本不可能有任何困扰。
You could never have issues.
我当时就是那种会直接说'我做梦都想长成你这样'的人。
And I was like literally that person that was like, there's nothing to I would die to look like you.
而你所做的一切，以及你如何让我和所有人看清我们的大脑有多混乱，这真的改变了游戏规则。
And then what you've done and how you've opened my eyes and everyone's eyes about how messed up our brains are has been game changing.
我真的很高兴全世界都认识了你。
And I'm so glad the world knows about you.
这太疯狂了，因为你在实习期间那样看待我，而我整天在实习时想的都是不能去休息室吃松饼。
Well, it's crazy because it's like you're thinking that about me at that internship and I'm at the internship all day long thinking about how I can't go to the break room and have a muffin.
你知道，因为我那时还没跨过那个坎儿。
Like, you know, because I wasn't I wasn't past that yet.
所以，没错。
And so Right.
你永远不知道别人正在经历什么。
You just never know what anyone's going through.
完全同意。
Totally.
是啊。
Yeah.
真是
Such a
很好的教训。
good lesson.
是啊。
Yeah.
不过谢谢你。
But thank you.
你是最棒的。
You're the best.
等不及要看到一个月后的特别惊喜了。
Can't wait for the special surprise in a month.
我相信一定会很棒的。
I'm sure it's gonna be awesome.
我
I'm
我
I'm
一个
a
现在就发信息告诉你是什么。
text you right now so you know what it is.
好的。
Okay.
记得告诉那些女孩子们。
And tell the lady gangers.
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