屏蔽家庭群聊

讨论让世界运转。

Discussion keeps the world turning.

这里是圆桌会议。

This is Roundtable.

您正在收听圆桌会议。

You're tuned in to Roundtable.

我是今天的史蒂夫，与玉山和玉顺一起。

I'm Steve today with Yushan and Yushun.

接下来，数字家庭群聊正陷入危机模式。

Coming up, the digital family group chat is in crisis mode.

最初这是连接亲情的工具，如今却成了摩擦的常见场景，促使年轻一代悄然退出。

Now, originally, this was a tool for connection, but now it's just a common sight of friction and it's prompting a silent withdrawal by the younger generation.

但这并非对家庭的否定，而是对平台要求的抗拒。

But it's not a rejection of family per se, it's just rejection of the platform's demands.

这引发了家庭关系中的新变化，尽管群里的年长成员可能对这种退出不太满意。

This triggers something different happening in family relationships, though perhaps maybe some of the older members of the group not so happy about the exit.

之后，若你的周一需要打打气，请继续收听今日的‘动力星期一’。

After that, if your Monday needs a kick in the pants, stick around for today's motivational Monday.

播客听众可在苹果播客搜索‘Roundtable China’找到我们。

Our podcast listeners can find us at Roundtable China on Apple Podcasts.

别忘了，我们也很期待听到您的反馈。

And don't forget, we love hearing from you too.

请将语音留言发送至roundtablepodcast@qq.com。

So send a voice note our way to roundtablepodcast@qq.com.

邮箱地址是roundtablepodcast@qq.com。

That's roundtablepodcast@qq.com.

现在进入‘数字家庭群聊’环节。

And now, digital family group chats.

光是'家族群聊'这几个字，就足以让人感到焦虑

Even those words, family group chat, might induce anxiety

哦，真的吗？

Oh, really?

对我们部分听众来说确实如此

In some of our listeners.

听你这么说我都开始发抖了

I'm already shivering the way you say it.

其实这类群聊本意是维系亲戚联系，也确实起到了这个作用

Well, they were originally meant to keep relatives in touch, and that's exactly what they do.

但它们正逐渐成为家族年轻成员的压力与义务来源

But they're increasingly becoming spaces of stress and obligation for members, the younger members of the family.

许多年轻人正在退出或忽视这类群聊，但原因何在？

Many youngsters are exiting from or neglecting such chat groups, but why are they doing it?

为什么现在会出现这种现象？

Why are they doing it now?

当你通过群聊与家族'断联'后，家庭关系会变成怎样？

And then what happens to the relationships in the family when you break up with the family through the group chat?

就像我刚才提到的，可以想象家族长辈可能不太乐见年轻人用数字方式或其他方式退出群聊

And as I mentioned a moment ago, I can imagine that some of the older members of the family might not be a big fan of the younger members just quitting on the group digitally or otherwise.

那么这背后究竟发生了什么？

So what exactly is going on here?

是啊

Yeah.

这类家族群聊中确实普遍存在这种现象

This has been, like, happening around these kind of family group chats.

但首先，你们都有这种家族群聊吗？

But first of all, do you guys have these family group chats?

我愿意。

I do.

你愿意？

You do?

是的。

Yeah.

当然不是在中国。

Not not in not in China, of course.

好的。

Okay.

不过，我家有个群聊。

But, yeah, my my family has a group chat.

从地理上来说，我的家人分布在不同地方。

My family kind of is divided geographically speak speaking.

我在中国。

I'm in China.

我的一个姐姐住在加拿大的渥太华。

My one of my sister sisters lives in Ottawa in Canada.

其他家人住在不同地方——另一个姐姐住在新斯科舍省的一个地区，父母则住在另一个地方。

The rest of my family lives well, my other sister lives in one part of Nova Scotia, then my parents live in another.

所以我们基本上都分散各地，这就是群聊存在的意义。

So we're kind of all separated, which which is what the group chat is for.

当你们不在一起生活时，就需要这样的工具。

When you're separate you don't all live together, then you need a a tool like this.

这类家庭群聊最初是为了让家人保持联系。

So these kind of family group chats, they are originally intended to for members to connect.

对吧？

Right?

于是家庭聊天群成了当下年轻人的压力源，甚至是一种负担，导致许多人选择退出或无视这些群聊。

And then family chat groups have become a source of nowadays stress and maybe some of the obligation for young people, leading many of them to exit or ignore these groups.

这些群组或年轻人经常充斥着——我是说这些群里总转发些养生文章。

And these groups or these young people are are often filled with or I mean, these groups are filled with some of these health tips articles.

哦，这可太典型了。

Oh, That's iconic.

哦，真的吗？

Oh, is it really?

是啊。

Yeah.

还有人生建议，长辈们总爱追问你的职业规划之类的问题。

And life advice, asking you questions about your career plan or something like that from older relatives.

尽管有意义的对话很少，但很多年轻人都有类似经历——在家庭群里被迫礼貌回应，或发送问候，即便他们根本不想参与。

While meaningful conversations are rare, that's a lot of these and or, like, experience of these young people that are in these family groups, and then they feel pressured to respond even also politely or send greetings even when they would rather dis engage.

问题是这样的。

Here's the thing.

可能我们一开始就没想加入，但莫名其妙就被拉进去了。

Maybe we didn't even ask to be part of it in the first place, but somehow we ended up in there.

你会被自动拉进群。

You get automatically added.

对吧？

Right?

参加过几次家族聚会后，你爸保罗·袁或你袁阿姨就把你拉进群，你在群里的角色基本就是那个被集体夸赞的小辈

After after a few family reunions, your your dad, Paul Yuan, or your aunt, Yuan, and now your role in the group is basically the kid to get all the credit

来展示家族团结。

to Show the unity.

你们真是个大家庭啊。

You have a big family.

但通常来说，我是说，当然每个家庭都不一样，不过一般而言，家庭群聊里大概有多少人呢？

But how many how many people are usually I mean, of course, every family is gonna be different, but just generally speaking, how many people are we talking about when we're talking about a family group chat?

我家的话，我觉得可能有八个人、九个人，最多十个人在家庭群里。

For mine, I think there's maybe eight people, nine people, 10 people max in in the family group chat.

我家的话，上次看是六个人。

For mine, personally, that number is six the last time I checked.

那挺小的。

That's pretty small.

是啊。

Yeah.

只包括直系亲属和我父母关系很近的兄弟姐妹，所以群不大。

That just to include instant family members and maybe the very close brothers and sisters of my parents, so that's not very big of a group.

我们以前有个大得多的群。

I we used to have a much bigger group.

哦，后来怎么了？

Oh, what happened?

他们退群了吗？

Did they quit?

那个群有差不多20个人呢。

That involves, like, 20 people.

发生什么事了？

What happened?

就是没人再说话了。

Just nobody talking there anymore.

对啊。

Yeah.

就是这么回事。

That's the thing.

就像我们都是在一次家庭聚会和春节后被拉进去的。

It's like we all get dragged in after one family reunion and one spring festival season.

我想事情就是这样发生的。

I think that's how it happened.

然后人们开始每周发点东西，有的每月发点内容，后来大家就逐渐不再往那些群里转发健康小贴士了。

And then people just send send something per week, some send something in it per month, and then people just gradually start stop sending things into health tips into those groups.

嗯，应该还在我微信的某个角落。

And, yeah, it's there somewhere in my WeChat.

提问。

Question.

当你退出微信群时，能悄悄退吗？

When when you leave a WeChat group, can you do so silently?

现在可以了。

You can now.

但以前会显示给所有人看。

But Back we've been then, it was like it shows to everyone.

不行。

No.

这人退群了。

This guy left the group.

这个巨型公告牌。

This giant billboard.

你看，这就是我一直没退家庭群的主要原因。

You see, that's that's one major reason why I haven't left my family group.

因为首先所有人都会知道。

Because first of all, everybody's gonna know.

其次他们不会觉得只是孩子退群那么简单。

And secondly, they don't see it as the kid leaving the group.

他们认为，哦，我兄弟的女儿退出了群聊。

They see it as, oh, the daughter of my brother left the group.

所以，嘿，兄弟。

So, hey, brother.

发生什么事了？

What's going on?

所以他们要去一些

So they're going to some of

她带来的那些人可能让家族蒙羞。

them She brought might shame to the family.

没错。

Exactly.

我我担心会出现那样的争议。

I I fear for controversies like that.

实际上，我几乎不说话也不做任何事。

And truly, I don't really speak or do anything.

我只是保持低调，保持沉默。

And I just lay low and remain quiet.

这在中国年轻人中如今非常普遍。

And that's just something that's very, across China, very common among young people nowadays.

他们把家庭群静音了。

They mute their family groups.

有些人干脆直接退群一了百了。

Some of them just quit them once and for all.

最初像你说的那样，史蒂夫，是一种保持联系的温馨方式，现在对许多人来说却变成了压力和数字疲劳的来源。

And what started as a sweet way to stay connected, like you said, Steve, to stay still digitally connected with your families, now has, for many, turned into a source of stress and digital fatigue.

不过不仅仅是压力和数字疲劳。

It's not just stress and digital fatigue, though.

这还有其他原因。

There are other reasons for this.

有个27岁的例子，我不确定是男是女，出生在福建，但现在在上海工作。

There was an example of a 27 year old I'm not sure if it was a man or a woman who was born in Fujian, but now works in Shanghai.

所以这两个地方相隔挺远的。

So those two spots are pretty far away from each other.

嗯。

Mhmm.

总之，他们不常回老家，也不怎么和人交流，我猜。

Anyway, they didn't go back to their hometown very often, didn't really talk to people that often, I guess.

但福建老家的人家族观念很强，彼此之间经常聊天。

But people in that hometown of Fujian have a strong sense of like family clan and they do talk to each other a lot.

但因为住在上海，他们发现自己实在没什么可聊的，这点我也能理解——就像我的家庭群里，我妹妹会发她家狗的照片，就是那种无所事事的日常，比如'狗狗叫凯莉'之类的。

But because they lived in Shanghai, they found that they had really nothing to contribute to the chat and I kind of understand that too because in my group chat, you know, my sister will put like a picture that shows her dog, you know, doing nothing and it's like, oh, the dog's name is Kaylee.

哦，快看看凯莉今天的样子。

Oh, look how look at Kaylee today.

然后其他家人就会回复'哦'，有人还会给照片点赞，而我在北京看到时已经过去13个小时了。

And then the other family members will say like, oh, and then somebody will like heart the picture or something, and I'm like, you know, it's thirteen hours later in Beijing.

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

你懂我意思吧？

You know what I mean?

比如我收到消息时是早上六点，所以实在没动力参与互动。

Like, it's like 6AM when I get that message, so I don't really feel the need to to connect.

我...我想说的是，我能理解那个从福建来现在住上海的人。

I I so what I'm saying is I understand that guy from Fujian who who lives in Shanghai now.

哦。

Oh.

嗯，另一位受访者小葵，24岁的学生，她形容自己的家庭群组更像是一个充满炫耀和微妙攀比的地方，而非单纯的疏离。

Well, another interviewee here, Xiao Kui, who is a 24 year old student, she described her family group as a place full of bragging and subtle comparisons rather than distancing alone.

所以她注意到，在群聊中存在一种无形的等级制度——那些生活水平较高、收入或事业更优越的亲戚往往会获得更多关注，而其他人即使分享了深思熟虑的内容也常被忽视。

So she noticed that there is this invisible hierarchy inside a group chat where relatives with relatively better, say, living standard or higher standard with more money incomes or businesses, is, they tend to get more attention while others were often ignored even when they share something thoughtful.

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

这种不平衡的局面让她只想远离这个群组。

And that's kind of unbalanced situation makes her just feel distancing away from the group

有时候你甚至不是故意的，懂吧？你根本没意识到自己会这样。

Sometimes you don't, you know, you don't you don't you didn't even like do this intentionally.

对。

Yeah.

就是潜意识里开始...嗯...

Just subconsciously start to yeah.

发个红包吧叔叔，指望那个有钱的叔叔回礼——你懂微信上这套操作吧？

Send a red envelope, uncle, expecting that rich uncle to just send you you know how it works on WeChat?

你可以发电子红包，尤其是在春节期间。

You can send send digital red envelopes, especially during spring festival season.

那个有钱的叔叔在干嘛？

What's the rich uncle doing?

给大家发电子红包啊，让所有人...

Sending out digital red envelopes for everybody to

那可是真金白银。

That's cash.

确实是现金。

That's cash.

是真钱，只不过以数字形式存在。

That's real money, but digitally.

那边有什么问题？

What's the problem there?

这其实不算是问题，而是大家对那个有钱叔叔的期待，因为他过着比我们更高标准的生活。

It's like a not not really like a problem, but the expectation of that rich uncle always have to do that because you're you're you're live a higher standard of life than the rest of us.

有时会引起误解。

Sometimes can cause misunderstandings.

同辈的人会想，好吧。

People from same generation will think, okay.

哇。

Wow.

我兄弟正在做那个。

My brother's doing that.

我也应该那样做吗？

Should I do that too?

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

然后那种竞争就来了。

Then that competition.

对。

Yeah.

那种微妙的竞争和比较就出现了，有时甚至是他们那代父母在比较。

That kind of subtle competition and comparison is coming up or sometimes it's even their the generation's parents are comparing that.

好吧。

Okay.

我儿子或女儿现在能做到那样了。

My son or my daughter can do that now.

你家的呢？

What about yours?

就是那种事。

That kind of thing.

不。

No.

就像全运会突然闯进了你的家庭群聊。

It's like the fifteenth national games has suddenly come to your family group chat.

对。

Yeah.

你们的群组游戏。

Your your your group games.

是啊。

Yeah.

那种

That kind

事。

of thing.

不。

No.

我明白那些微妙的自夸部分。

I get I get the part about like the subtle the humble brags.

嗯。

Mhmm.

比如，'哦，我升职了'或者'我考试得了高分'之类的。

Like, oh, I got this promotion at work or I got this grade on this test or some whatever.

对吧？

Right?

而如果你没升职或没考好，不仅会觉得'唉我没什么可分享的'，还会开始自我怀疑，大概

And then if you don't get the promotion or if you don't get that grade, not only do you feel like, oh, I guess I can't, I have nothing to add to this group, but you also start to feel bad about yourself, I guess, a

一点点。

little bit.

因为你总是在和家族里的其他人比较。

Because you're constantly comparing yourself to to other people in the clan.

在某些方面，确实如此。

In some ways, yeah.

但这仍然是个极端做法，不是吗？

But still though, isn't it an extreme step though?

因为这个故事的重点是人们正在退出。

Because the the point of this story is that people are quitting.

他们不只是保持沉默。

They're not just staying silent.

他们现在正在退出。

They're they're quitting now.

我想对那些退出的人来说，这确实伤害了他们，某种程度上是因为边界问题，或者说他们中有些人缺乏边界意识。

I guess for those who are quitting, it really hurts them in a way that it comes down to boundaries or rather the lack of boundaries for some of them.

这里有个例子，一个23岁...抱歉。

Here is one example, a 23 sorry.

一位33岁的女士，我记得是来自山东省的。

A 33 year old lady, I believe, from Shandong province.

她在老家有个庞大的家族，但她几乎不认识任何远房亲戚。

So she has a very big extended family back back home in her hometown, but she barely knows any of her distant relatives.

几年前，她父亲的一个叔叔，应该算是叔祖父之类的，开始施压催她尽快结婚。

And a few years ago, one of her father's uncles, that's like a grand uncle or something, he stated pressure he started pressuring her to get married soon.

在群聊里吗？

In the group chat?

在群聊里直接跟她说：姑娘，你到那个年纪了。

In the group chat and just telling her, Well, you're you're getting to that age, girl.

你得知道她那时已经33岁了，对一位女士说那种话，嗯，我也遇到过类似情况，这么说吧。

You need to she's 33 by the time and saying that saying that to a lady is well, I've had that issue too, let's say.

是啊。

Yeah.

但我觉得，当着另一个人的面说这种话已经够糟了。

But think I mean, saying it to a another human face to face is bad enough.

我做不到。

I can't.

但用被动攻击的方式发到家庭群里更残忍。

But passive aggressively putting it in the family group chat is brutal.

我认为这位年轻女士在这个案例中的做法和我如出一辙。

I I think what this young lady in this particular case did exactly the same as I did.

我们只是说：谢谢提醒，但我已有安排。

We just say, thank you for the note, but I've had my plans.

非常感谢您的留言。

Thank you very much for the note.

之后她就退群了，原因显而易见。

After that, she just quit the group for obvious reasons.

我留在群里是因为之前说过的那些理由。

I stayed in the group for for the reasons I've stated earlier.

不过那是

But That's

足够礼貌了。

polite enough.

我会这么说。

I would say.

本可以说：这不关她的事。

Could have said, it's none of her business.

就像我说的，归根结底是打破界限的问题。

Like I said, it's it's it comes down to the breaking of boundaries.

所以在这些情况下，从我个人角度来看，年轻人选择退出群体是完全合理的。

So in these cases, it makes perfect reasons in my personal perspectives that a young person choose to quit the group.

关键在于许多长辈会问这些问题，因为他们自认为是出于关心。

The point is that a lot of these elderlies, they will ask you these questions for they they think that they're for the sake of caring.

然后很多问题可能涉及你的婚姻、职业规划、薪水，当他们问这些时，他们

And then a lot of these questions about maybe your marriage, your career plan, your salary, and when they asking, they're

在一家人面前。

front of a family.

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

你是晚辈。

You're the kid.

所以你有义务让我们了解你的情况，包括你赚多少钱。

So it's your job to let us know how you are, including how much you earn.

对吧？

Right?

我能理解这压力有多大。

I can see how how stressful it could be.

我就深受其害

I've been a victim of that

好多年了，各位。

for years, guys.

我开始有点理解这种情况了。

I'm starting to understand this a little bit more.

所以人们会觉得，我根本不想处理这件事。

So people are feeling like, I just don't wanna deal with this at all.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但当你真的退出时，好吧。

But then, when you do quit okay.

让我们回到那个观点。

So let's go back to that point.

如果你退出时不能悄无声息，但你说现在可以了。

If you quit and you can't do it silently, but you said now you can.

但即使你悄悄退出，家庭成员们可能还是会察觉。

But even if you quit silently, then the the family members, they might be able to figure it out.

对吧？

Right?

因为他们如果发消息给你，或者提到你名字时发现毫无回应，家族长辈可能会认为这非常不敬。

Because if they text you or your name comes up and then there's, like, radio silence there, the older people in the family might see this as being quite disrespectful.

难道不是吗？

Could they not?

是的。

Yeah.

许多年长亲属将这种行为视为对传统家庭规范的挑战。

Many older relatives take this kind of action as a challenge to traditional family norms.

在他们观念里，本就不该由你先退出对话。

In their belief, it's just there's it shouldn't be you quitting this conversation first.

你作为晚辈的角色，我们做这一切都是出于对你的好意，你应当感到庆幸而非拒绝。

You are the the kid's role, in which case we're doing it all out out of our goodwills for you, so you should feel blessed instead of instead of rejecting.

所以退出就是一种明确的拒绝信号。

So quitting is a clear sign of rejection.

在这种情况下，退出不仅被视为离开聊天，更是摆脱他们试图强加给你的那种预期的家庭责任和参与。

And leaving is seen not just as stepping away from the chat, but as stepping away from that expected familial duty and participation that they're trying to put on you.

所以在这种情境下，这完全被视为年轻一代的不敬行为。

So in that scenario, it's totally a disrespectful act of from the younger generation.

嗯。

Mhmm.

你是这么认为的吗？

Do you do you see it that way?

你觉得如果有人退出群聊是不尊重的表现吗？

Do you see it as disrespectful if people leave the group chat?

哦，不。

Oh, no.

不是吗？

No?

为什么？

Why?

这是他们的个人选择，而且他们已经足够成熟可以自己做决定。

It's their personal choice and they are old enough to make their own choices.

所以对我来说，作为一个长期渴望退出家庭群聊的人。

So for me, as someone who has been wishing to quit the family group for a long time Chat.

群聊。

Group chat.

群聊。

Group chat.

长久以来，我都认为这是完全合理的。

For a long time, I would totally see it as reasonable.

这是因为很多年轻人都在思考，当然我们想要那种家庭联系，但我们未必都聚焦在这些群聊上。

And that's because a lot of these young peoples are they are thinking about, okay, maybe of course, we want that kind of connection within our family, but we are not necessarily all focusing on these group chat.

如果我们愿意，可以一对一聊天。

We can have one on one chat if we want.

只要我们关系好，就可以这样。

We can if we have, like, good relationship together.

我们偶尔可以打电话或视频通话。

We can have phone calls or video calls from time to time.

其实我家人们确实会视频通话，是的。

Actually, my family members, they they do video calls Yeah.

就是时不时地。

Like from time to time.

我认为关键在于——这超越了文化差异——我们能在中加文化乃至世界文化中找到共通点。

Well, I think the thing is, and I think this kind of transcends culture, we can find a crossover here between Chinese and Canadian culture and just world culture.

需要保持一点距离感

There needs to be a little bit of a barrier

嗯。

Mhmm.

对，在群组成员之间要有界限。

Right, between the members of the the group.

没错。

Right.

当你们都在群聊里时，就完全没有界限了。

And when you have access to when you're all in a group chat, there's no barrier.

那是24小时、一周七天随时可达的。

It's twenty four hour, seven day a week access.

嗯。

Mhmm.

意思是如果你被@了，消息可能在任何时间、任何日子发来，不像传统方式要等到春节才会被问'什么时候结婚'这类问题。

In the sense that if you get tagged in a message, that could come at any time of day, any day of the week, as opposed to the traditional way of waiting for spring festival before you hear the questions about when you're gonna get married or something like that.

确实。

True.

许多年轻人尽管在家庭群组中保持沉默或退出，他们仍会与多位家庭成员保持一对一的私聊，尤其是这些关系并不疏远的亲人。

And many young people, despite, staying muted or quitting the family groups, they still have one on one private chats with many of their family members, especially in in this not so distant family members.

即便离开了群聊，许多人仍更倾向于与父母、叔伯、祖父母或其他特定亲属进行私信交流。

And even after leaving group chats, many still prefer direct messages with their parent or rather uncles and grandparents or specific relatives.

这样感觉更真诚。

It feels more genuine that way.

当然。

Sure.

特别是在节日期间，如果要给所有亲戚发送新年祝福，我会确保为每个祝福对象定制不同的内容。

Especially during holiday season, if I'm to send out a happy New Year note to all of my relatives, I make sure I do it differently for each person I'm wishing.

是的。

Yeah.

不是那种千篇一律的群发消息。

It's not like one general message.

‘大家新年快乐’就完事了。

Happy New Year, everyone, and that's it.

没错。

Yeah.

这也不是文化差异的问题。

And this isn't a culture difference either.

我是说，美国人也有家庭群聊。

I mean, Americans have family group chats.

英国人也有家庭群聊。

Brits have family group chats.

我们加拿大人也都有家庭群聊。

Canadians do we we all have family group chats.

我觉得根据情况来看，焦虑程度可能有所不同，但它们确实存在。

And I think maybe the anxiety levels might be a little bit different by the sounds of things, but they still do exist.

我想说的是，这可能是互联网带来的便利，但也许当我们拥有过多这种便利时。

And I would say this is probably I think this is the convenience brought by Internet, but also maybe when we are having too much of this convenience.

中文里有个词，意思是当某事物发展到极端程度时。

There's a Chinese word, it's called that means something when you have something to extreme Extend.

极端。

Extend.

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后就会与你最初的初衷相悖。

And then it will go counter your initial Yeah.

初衷。

Initiatives.

嗯。

Mhmm.

当我们使用这类群聊时，群聊确实让所有亲戚和家人更亲近，但当他们过于亲近时

So when we're having like, these kind of group chat group chats actually make all all of their relatives and family members closer, but when they're too close

反而会把他们推开。

Then you can push them away.

是的。

Yeah.

我记得以前每周都会和父母视频聊天一次。

I remember I used to have a video chat with my parents once a week.

那是很多年前的事了。

This is years ago, years and years ago.

他们问你什么时候结婚？

They ask you when you're married you're married?

不。

No.

我从来没有收到过那些问题。

I never got I never got those questions.

哦，但我们会有视频聊天之类的。

Oh, But we would have our video chats or whatever.

然后我记得这些即时通讯服务开始变得非常流行。

And then I remember these messenger services started to become really popular.

对吧？

Right?

但爸妈当时不知道有这些通讯服务存在。

But mom and dad weren't aware that the messenger services existed.

所以我偶尔会和姐姐们聊天，比如问她们最近怎么样？

So I would chat with my sisters from time to time, know, like, hey, how's it going?

诸如此类的话。

Stuff like that.

但我们没告诉父母关于通讯软件的事。

But we didn't tell our parents about the messenger services.

后来有一天在通讯软件上，我收到了妈妈的消息。

Then one day on messenger, I got a message from mom.

她说：嗨。

It said, hi.

两分钟后，我收到了姐姐的消息。

Two minutes later, I got a message from my sister.

她说：不客气。

It said, you're welcome.

我当时就想：哦，妈妈现在知道通讯软件了。

And I was like, oh, mom knows about the messenger now.

在那之后，就是全天候的访问权限了。

And then after that, it was the twenty four seven access.

欢迎加入信使家族群组。

Welcome to the messenger family group.

是的。

Yep.

没错。

Exactly.

那是很多很多年前的事了。

That was years and years ago.

嗯，我是说，我不知道。

Well, I mean, I don't know.

如果你在家庭群聊里觉得烦，我建议你可以设置静音模式，把通知调成静音，但别退群。

If you're in the family group chat and you find it annoying, I say maybe put it on silent mode, put the notifications on silent mode, but don't quit.

家人终究是家人。

Family's family.

不管你喜欢与否，坚持住，总有一天你也会处在可以问各种烦人问题的位置。

Whether you like it or not, just just hang in there and and one day, you'll be in the position where you get to ask all the annoying questions.

耐心等待就好。

Just wait it out.

玩一场等待的游戏吧。

Play the waiting game.

您正在收听的是《圆桌论坛》。

You're listening to Roundtable.

请继续关注我们。

Stay with us.

接下来是‘激励星期一’环节。

Up next is motivational Monday.

星期一。

Mondays.

励志星期一时刻。

Motivational Monday time.

雨山，今天由你开场。

Yushan, kick us off today.

我之所以提到我倾向于私下单独联系亲戚，一个重要原因是昨晚我刚这么做了——和我阿姨聊了很久，持续几个小时直到深夜11点左右，因为她现在处境非常艰难，她那只23、24岁的猫咪正处于临终阶段。

Well, one big reason why I mentioned that I tend to message my relatives privately one on one is because I just did that last night, and I chatted with my aunt for a long time, a few hours until late night, 11PM, I believe, because she's having a very tough time now because her very close companion, in her case, is a 24 or 23 year old cat, is at that stage of dying.

嗯。

Mhmm.

她正在悲痛中，同时被迫接受可能是时候说再见的事实。

And she is grieving while having to being forced to accept the fact that it's probably the time to say goodbye.

嗯。

Mhmm.

于是我阅读了大量中英文文章来鼓励她——尽管这是残酷的事实，但我们仍能看到其激励意义：这如何促使我们内心成长，并教会我们如何与至爱告别。

And that's when I read a lot of articles both in English and in Chinese to to just kind of encourage her in a way that even though it is a hard fact, we can still look at the motivational side of it, which is how it helps us to grow inside and also how it teaches us to learn to say goodbye to those that's very dear to us.

你知道吗，宠物离开后，家里的寂静会显得格外沉重。

You know, it's strange how quiet in in a home, how it feels heavier after a pet is gone.

确实如此。

So the Sure.

那种缺席感震耳欲聋。

The absence is so loud.

它就在那里。

It's just there.

你每天都能感受到。

You can feel it every single day.

心理学家指出，失去宠物带来的悲伤实际上能促进我们成长。

Beside psychologists, they say that the grief of losing a pet can actually help us grow.

它提醒我们生命可以多么脆弱，也让我们看到自己在面对这些悲伤时刻时能有多么坚强。

It reminds us how fragile life can be and also how resilient we can be in facing this sorrowful moments.

所以每次我们与宠物告别时，都会被提醒爱与失去总是相伴而行。

So each time we say goodbye to a pet, we're reminded that love and loss always come hand in hand.

我们明白了悲伤不是需要匆忙度过或逃避的东西。

And we learned that grief isn't something to rush through or hide from.

而是我们要与之同行的经历。

It's something that we walk with.

我们承载着宠物多年来带给我们的美好回忆，慢慢地、温柔地，直到这些回忆化作感恩——感谢你陪伴我们度过这些年。

We bear the very happy memories that our pets has has brought us throughout the years and slowly, gently, until it softens into gratitude saying thank you for spending all these years with us.

是啊。

Yeah.

说得好。

Well said.

你知道人们常说，当你养宠物时，你就同时同意了经历人生中最美好和最糟糕的日子，因为它们的寿命有限。

You know, they say when you get a pet, you are going to agree to have the best day of your life and the worst day of your life because of the life expectancy.

但它们给家庭带来的欢乐，远超过失去它们时的痛苦。

But, you know, the joy that they bring to the family far as out far outweighs the pain of losing them.

不。

No.

抱歉。

Sorry.

你刚说那是你阿姨吗？

Did you say that's your aunt?