艾玛·爱德华兹停止购物365天，意外修复了她的财务状况（以及她与金钱和自己的关系）

完全相反的比例。

opposite of percent.

但我不是，就像我只通过她的视角来看衣服。

But I wasn't, it's like I only saw clothes through the lens of her Yeah.

而从未通过我自己。

And never me.

我认为这就是这一年如此有力量的原因，因为我做的另一件事是：当我穿喜欢的 outfits 时，我会拍照并存入手机相册，以便日后参考。

And I think that's why the year was so powerful because something else that I did was when I wore outfits that I liked, I took a photo of them and added them to an album on my phone so I could refer back to them.

这样做让我第一次通过自己的视角来看待衣服。

And doing that made me see my clothes through the lens of myself for the first time.

我不认为我们意识到我们实际上多么少地真正审视自己。

I don't think that we realize how little we're actually looking at ourselves.

以前，当我照镜子或评估对某套衣服的感受时，都是以那个幻想形象为基准。

Previously, when I'd look in the mirror or I'd assess how I felt about an outfit, it was benchmarked against that fantasy.

当然潜意识里我们不会实时思考这些，但这就是为什么我对自己的外表不满意——因为总觉得看起来不对劲，总想改变它。

Subconsciously, of course, we're not thinking these things in real time, but that was why I didn't feel good about the way that I looked because I felt like I looked wrong and I had to try and change it.

而最简单的捷径就是去买些东西。

And the easiest shortcut for that was to buy something.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以当我以不同方式看待自己时，我觉得这一年让我无法真正与幻想中的自我互动，因为我做不到。

And so looking like sort of seeing myself in a different way, I think the year didn't allow me to really engage with the fantasy self because I couldn't.

我通过购物与她互动，我为她购物，但整整一年我都没能那样做。

I engaged with her through buying and I bought for her, but I didn't get to do that through the whole year.

于是剩下的就是真实的我。

And so what was left was me.

嗯。

Yeah.

到了年底我意识到，哇，我对自己的身材满意度比以前好多了。

And I realized by the end of the year, I was like, wow, my body image is so much better than it used to be.

真的是潜移默化改变的。

Just really gradually.

我认为这不可能是巧合，因为我一直没有通过网站对身材进行审判，女性尺码就是如此。

And I thought that can't be a coincidence because I haven't been putting my body on trial through site, women's sizing is.

哦，别提这个。

Oh, don't get me started.

千万别。

Do not.

我没有再为合身问题而折磨自己的身体。

I haven't been putting my body on trial for what fits.

我没有再拿自己的身体去对比我幻想中的理想形象或我以为的理想形象。

I haven't been putting my body on trial against this fantasy of what I wish I looked like or what I thought I wish I looked like.

我没有再拿自己与网上的图片作比较。

I haven't been comparing myself to the picture online.

我没有再满怀期待地试穿然后失望。

I I haven't been getting my hopes up and then putting it on and being disappointed.

所有这些剥离后，给了我真正审视的空间，这时我才开始以'这件穿着舒服'的方式看待衣物。

All of that stripped away gave me this room to actually And see that's when I could start seeing clothes in a way that was, feel good in this.

而不是，哦，这和我想要的不太一样，或者，你知道，任何大腿粗壮的人都明白试图追随直筒牛仔裤潮流是什么感觉。

Rather than, oh, this isn't quite how I wanted or, you know, anybody with thick thighs will know that trying to embrace the straight leg jean trend.

拜托。

Please.

所有牛仔裤都是紧身的。

All jeans are skinnies.

我 是啊。

I Yeah.

意思是，要么是宽松肥大的，要么是紧身的？

Mean, is it a wide baggy baggy or skinny?

没有中间选项。

There's no in between.

没有。

No.

妈妈牛仔裤不认识她。

Mom jeans don't know her.

不。

No.

桶型裤腿我倒不介意，因为桶型裤腿看起来像妈妈牛仔裤。

Barrel leg, I don't mind because barrel leg look like mom jeans.

它展现出了什么

As it is giving what

确实如此。

it is.

是的。

Yes.

我懂你的意思。

I know what you mean.

我一直尝试的款式，虽然现在可能都不流行这个叫法了，但以前总有种烟管裤的款式。

I was trying, my thing always, and I don't even think there's this term anymore, it'll probably come back around again with the styles, but there was always this style of cigarette trousers.

没错。

Yeah.

就是那种铅笔裤的锥形剪裁。

The type pencils tapered.

那一直是我想要的款式，但不知为何就是不适合我，可能是因为我的体型问题。

That's what I always wanted, just but And didn't work for now, you know, I would resist the wide leg for some reason because I don't know, that was playing into what my body really is.

我几乎沉迷于尝试与众不同的风格。

And I was almost addicted to trying to be different.

但这一年彻底卸下了那种压力，我最初找到了与自我和解的平静，后来更收获了许多快乐。

But the year kind of took all of that pressure away and I actually found at first peace with who I was, but down the line, a lot of joy.

现在我穿衣会反复穿同样的款式，这其实是我在年底甚至次年才意识到的——当我重新开始购物时。

And now when I get dressed, I wear the same things over and over again, and I'm more, this was kind of a realization that I had towards the end of the year or more sort of even in the year after where I was able to buy again.

我对自己现有的衣服比店里看到的更满意。

I like my clothes that I have more than the things I see in stores.

以前想到要参加活动时，总会觉得'太好了，正好有借口买新衣服'。

When I think about going to an event that used to be like, great, perfect excuse to go and buy something new.

而现在我会想'等不及要穿那条裙子了，因为正式场合不多，平时很少有机会穿'。。

Whereas now I'm like, I can't wait to wear that dress because I don't get to wear it often because it is more formal.

我迫不及待想穿那件衣服了。

I can't wait to wear that.

我完全清楚自己要穿什么。

I know exactly what I'm wearing.

就连今天穿什么，我也一清二楚。

Even for this today, know exactly what I'm wearing.

这太不可思议了。

That's incredible.

以前从来不是这样的。

And it never used to be like that.

当你没有这种感觉时，那些营销信息就会趁虚而入。

And when you don't feel like that, that's where all of those marketing messages hit you.

而且它们很有效。

And they work.

效果简直好得出奇。

They work so well.

你只需在查德斯通或任何购物中心逛逛。

You've only got to walk around Chadstone or any shopping center.

前几天我观察到这个现象，逛的时候我在想，这些商店80%以上都是面向女性的。

I looked at this the other day, was walking around and I thought, 80% of these stores, if not more, are for women.

因为我们是巨大的消费群体。

Because we're huge consumers.

消费力如此庞大。

Huge such consumers.

市场的一个巨大板块。

A huge segment of the market.

这个行业建立在让我们自我感觉糟糕的基础上。

It's an industry that's been built though on making us feel like shit about ourselves.

我认为这就是为什么对他们来说如此有利可图。

And that's why it's so profitable, I think, for them.

慢慢意识到所有这些被压抑的关于自己的潜意识感受，是否让你感到难以面对？

Was it confronting to slowly make that realization about all of these, I guess, suppressed subconscious feelings about yourself?

因为当你谈论这个话题时，我发自内心地感同身受——当我真正内省思考时，发现我与衣服、衣橱以及购物的关系，听起来和你们描述的非常相似，我觉得明年我也该尝试这个挑战。

Because as you were talking about that, I was deeply honestly relating to the fact that if I think on it really introspectively, the relationship that I have to my clothes and my wardrobe and shopping, think is very similar to what you all I'm hearing is that I need to do this challenge next year.

但我觉得在自我认知和自我价值方面，有很多让我不太满意的因素在推动着这种消费行为。

But I think there are a lot of things in terms of my self perception and self worth that maybe I don't feel so great about that really feed into that.

说实话，这种想法让我感到很不舒服。

And I don't like, that's quite uncomfortable to think about.

做出这些考量并接受这些认知的过程是否很艰难？

Was it hard to make those considerations and move through them or have those realizations, I suppose?

是的。

Yeah.

某种程度上确实如此，尤其是考虑到我们对环境的影响...当我想到这其实不是个可持续性挑战时。

It was in a way, especially when you consider the environmental impact of our And I feel kind of icky when I go, this wasn't a sustainability challenge.

从某种程度上说这不是附带效应，但我确实是从财务和行为角度出发的。

And it kind of wasn't a collateral way, but I did it from finance and a behavior perspective.

我发现可持续性其实是个额外收获，但可持续行为背后的心理因素确实值得探讨。

I found that the sustainability was, you know, an added benefit, but I think that there really is something to be said about the behavioral aspect of sustainability.

所以我想关于这点就说到这里吧。

So I guess that's just on that.

是的。

Yeah.

但确实，当我意识到自己潜意识里困在这个循环中多久、以及我曾以为很享受的事情——你知道，我有时会找借口说'我就是喜欢衣服'时，这种感觉很直面。

But yeah, it was confronting to realize, I think how long I'd been subconsciously stuck in that cycle and how something that I thought I enjoyed, you know, I'd make these excuses sometimes, well, I just like clothes.

我热爱时尚。

I love fashion.

我热爱时尚。

I love fashion.

时尚女孩。

Fashion girl.

是啊。

Yeah.

实际上，就像我在书里说的，我以为自己喜欢时尚，但其实我只是喜欢购物。

When really I just, you know, I say this in the book, thought that I liked fashion, I actually just liked buying.

我 我

I I

想想 你讨厌时间。

think think you hate time.

那时你从购买衣服中获得最多快乐。

That's when you're getting the most joy from your clothes when you're buying.

你并不爱时尚，你只是爱购物。

You don't love fashion, you just love buying.

要知道，你完全可以两者都热爱，并将对购物的热爱转化为对风格的追求。

There's an op You know, you can absolutely love both and you can shift that love of buying into style.

是的。

Yes.

但确实，这很直面现实，同时也几乎是一种解脱，因为我终于理解了这些事情之间的联系，以及我为何会这样做。

But yeah, it was confronting, but it was also almost a relief in a way because I had finally understood the link between those things and why I was doing these things.

而且我认为，某种程度上这帮助了我，因为我实时获得了这种认知带来的益处。

And I think it helped in a way that I got the benefit in real time.

我意识到自己陷入了这种恶性循环，但同时也在经历它的另一面。

Sort of had the realization that I had this problematic cycle, but at the same time experiencing the other side of it.

这真的推动我走了出来。

That really pushed me through.

这太不可思议了。

That's incredible.

你有很多发人深省的金句，真的能让人产生共鸣。

There are so many great lines, great catchphrases that you have that really sit and resonate.

我特别喜欢'将身份认同外包给消费'这个概念，我们刚才也稍微讨论到了。

One that I particularly loved was the concept of outsourcing your identity to consumption, which we've kind of just touched on.

但我觉得这种说法特别有力量。

But I think there's so much power in that state.

你真的是一针见血地指出了本质。

Like, you're really calling it for what it is.

每当我提到这点，很多女性都表示深有同感。

Whenever I say that line, a lot of women relate.

我认为，正如你所说，某种程度上意识到我们常常通过购买行为来拼凑出自己想要成为的那个版本，这种认知确实令人不安。

And I think that it's, as you say, confronting in a way to realise that we've kind of often pieced together the version of ourselves that we try to be through buying.

我在书中也稍微谈到了‘装扮得体’这个说法。

And I talk in the book a bit about the term put together.

很多女性都说希望自己看起来‘装扮得体’。

A lot of women say they want to look put together.

虽然表面上这完全说得通——我认为‘装扮得体’这个说法本身有其价值，尤其在职场环境中，或是当你搭配自己最爱的单品时——但这个说法背后似乎带着一丝微妙的负面意味。

And while I, you know, on the surface that makes complete sense and I think the term put together, that there's merit to it, especially in a professional environment or when you're, you know, putting together your favorite pieces, but there's almost like a slightly sinister undertone to that term of put together.

我将它与‘精致光鲜’这个说法联系起来，很多女性对此也有共鸣——我们某种程度上是用商家推销给我们的商品来拼凑自己的形象。

And I kind of marry it up with the term polished that a lot of other women relate to that, you know, we are sort of piecing ourselves together with things that are sold to us.

我有时会想，如果我们不是用这些不断被推销的元素来拼凑自己，那数十亿美元的市场将何去何从？

And I kind of sometimes question if we weren't putting ourselves together with all of these elements that are constantly sold, where would the billions of dollars go?

是啊。

Yeah.

就是这么回事。

And that's it.

我认为B型企业和大公司拥有巨大力量，虽然我不想显得偏执，但这些巨头企业确实在让女性对自身感到不满、持续消费、不去深究问题根源方面投入了大量资源——毕竟那才是他们利润的来源。

There's so much power, I think, for the b corps, the big companies, bit not to put my tinfoil hat on, but, you know, there's a there's a lot out there, I think, for these huge corporations in keeping women feeling bad about themselves, keeping us consuming, keeping us not looking, you know, at what is causing those things moving past that because that's what puts money in their pockets Yeah.

说到底。

At the end of the day.

我也认为企业并非刻意让我们对自己产生负面感受。

And I think as well keeping us know, you a lot of people are kinda go, companies aren't sitting there thinking about how they can make us feel bad about ourselves.

但只要标准在不断变化，这就足够了。

But I think as long as the goalposts are moving, that's all that matters.

是的。

Yeah.

只要我们还处于通过消费来定义自我价值的状态——消费成为这种心态的一部分、扮演着重要角色——这就正中他们下怀，因为永远有新产品可以推销。

As long as we are in that position of feeling the way we do about ourselves by consuming or consuming being a part of that, playing a role in that, that's all you need because there's always something more to be sold.

真正的挑战在于说出'我拥有的已足够'，以及'拥有足够'与'本自具足'之间的关联。

There's a piece that comes from, which is what the challenge is really, saying I have enough and the link between having enough and being enough.

当你说自己拥有的已足够时，潜意识里也在宣告：现在的我已然完整。

When you say that you have enough, you're sort of subconsciously saying, well, I am enough as well.

我不需要为了参加那个工作活动、过生日或被人看到而购买新东西。

I don't need to buy new things to go to that work event, to have my birthday, to be seen in any way.

我现有的东西已经足够。

I am enough with the things I already have.

这中间有个有趣的关联。

And there's an interesting link there.

是的。

Yeah.

这是否可以说这个实验让你领悟到最重要的一点，关于冲动控制和情感层面的问题？

Is that one of the biggest things you'd say the experiment taught you about, like the impulse control and emotional side of it all?

对。

Yeah.

我认为既有深层的情感因素，也有像奶油点缀般的表层因素——不仅仅是网购或小小犒赏带来的那种短暂多巴胺快感，你知道，那种转瞬即逝的满足。

I think there's, that deep emotional side and then there's also sort of the whipped cream on top that's not just, you know, that quick dopamine hit, that buying something online or getting a little treat or whatever, you know, that's sometimes very, you know, flash in a pan.

这是非常真实的。

It's very real.

这并不一定意味着有大量情感因素在起作用，但这种感受仍然可以非常真实。

It doesn't necessarily mean there's a ton of emotional stuff going on, but that can still be quite real.

我认为需要从两个方面来剖析：更深层次的东西，即你购买行为的深层循环及其原因。

I think there's two parts of it to unpack, the deeper stuff, the deep cycles of what you're buying and why you're buying.

还有就是真正观察那种小确幸的循环，多巴胺的循环。

And then there's really watching that sort of cycle of little treats, cycle of dopamine.

但再次强调，退后一步，在上次满足与下次满足之间创造更多距离，这也能打破循环。

But again, stepping back and creating more distance between the last hit and the next hit, that can break the cycle as well.

我在这一年里做的一件事就是所谓的暴露疗法。

And something I did during the year was what I called exposure therapy.

我会走进商店或浏览网店，允许自己去面对那种欲望。

I would go into the shops or browse online and allow myself to meet that desire.

确实，仅仅说'甚至不考虑购买这个'就能带来很多内心的平静。

And yeah, there's a lot of mental peace that comes from just saying, not even going to entertain buying this.

这可能是最令人惊讶的事情之一，从冲动控制的角度来说。

That was probably one of the most surprising things actually, you know, in a impulse control sense.

还有那些，你知道的，那些沉重的情感因素，但意识到不购物带来的自由感真是令人解脱。

There's also that, you know, that meaty emotional stuff, but realizing how freeing it was to just not be buying.

是啊。

Yeah.

我看到别人的夹克，但这已经无关紧要了。

I could see someone's jacket, It didn't matter.

我不必打开谷歌镜头去搜索它。

I didn't have to go on Google lens and start putting it through.

不必谷歌搜索'这是哪家的？'

Didn't have to Google, where's that from?

哦，看起来像那个。

Oh, that looks like that.

哦，已经售罄了。

Oh, it's out of stock.

哦，他们标价很高。

Oh, they've got it high.

什么才是真正的高点？

What's a good high point?

我值得为这事大费周章吗？

Can I be bothered to go all the way over that?

这些我曾不断重复的循环。

These loops I would jump through all the time.

哦，我想周六前拿到它。

Oh, I want it for Saturday.

能及时送达吗？

Will it get delivered in time?

这些思绪和噪音永无止境

It's never ending, the thoughts, the noise

这一切的。

of it all.

那些噪音。

The noise.

关于这个我还有很多疑问，但我想我们应该先快速休息一下。

And I have more questions about that, but I think we should jump to a really quick break.

等我们回来后，我想更深入地探讨那些毫无进展的概念。

And when we come back, I wanna dive a little bit more deeply into all those concepts that don't go anywhere.

欢迎大家回来。

Welcome back, everybody.

我正在与艾玛·爱德华兹交谈，她刚出版了新书《衣橱计划》，讲述了她一年不买衣服的经历。

I am chatting with Emma Edwards who has just released her book, The Wardrobe Project, all about her year of buying no clothing.

其实我一直在思考一个问题。

Now I have been wondering a little bit.

当你把购物从生活中剔除后，是否注意到其他方面——比如时间、创造力或幸福感——也开始发生变化？

When you took buying out of the equation, did you notice other areas of your life, like time or creativity or happiness, also started to shift?

是的。

Yes.

我发现，正如我之前提到的，我的精神状态有了变化。

I found, you know, I had that mental piece that I talked about before.

就是有种，说不上来，整体感觉轻松了很多。

That just sort of, I don't know, it just felt a lot lighter in general.

但显然我对这个挑战非常专注。

But obviously I was hyper focused on the challenge.

我在网上谈论这件事，你知道，这种专注感非常明显。

I was talking about it online, you know, that was obviously quite palpable.

我觉得另一个方面是我发现了新的创造力，不仅体现在衣橱上，我还重新开始学习缝纫。

I think the other sort of area is I found a new sense of creativity, not just in my wardrobe, but I also, I took up sewing again.

噢，我很喜欢这个。

Oh, I love that.

我小时候常和奶奶一起缝纫，因为学校放假时我都会去她家。

I used to sew with my gran when I was younger, because I would go to her house when I was on school holidays or whatever.

她在我15岁时去世了，所以我就没再碰过缝纫，但我一直想重新拾起来。

And she died when I was 15, so I didn't sort of pick it up again, but I'd always wanted to.

而且，你知道，我本可以随时重拾这个爱好，但我不认为现在找到时间和专注力是巧合——我总爱列一堆计划却不去实现。

And, you know, again, I could have done that at any point, but I just don't think it's a coincidence that I found the time, the focus, you know, I'm very big on making a list of things I'm going do and not doing them.

我不认为这是巧合，我能在这一年里重拾缝纫，因为这项挑战消除了我对衣物甚至其他项目的紧迫感。

I don't think it's a coincidence that I was able to engage with that during the year because I think it took, I think the challenge took a lot of urgency out of the way I was relating to clothes or even projects.

而以前我总会想'啊我得重新开始缝纫了'，但做一件上衣要花太久时间，或者那种害怕做不好的心理。

And I think previously I was kind of going, oh, I must start sewing again, it's gonna take so long to make one top or like, can't, you know, that thing about not wanting to be bad at something.

哦是啊。

Oh yes.

我要穿出去，因为它不会像店里买的那样完美。

I'm gonna wear it out because it's not gonna look like when I go to the store.

是的。

Yes.

而这种慢节奏反而培养了我的耐心去学习，这种方式恰好契合了我的目标。

Whereas I think the sense of slowness gave me a sense of patience to learn, take that up in a way that, you know, it directly fed into what I was trying to do as well.

我在挑战中确实设定了可以购买布料的规则。

I did have a rule within the challenge that I could buy fabric.

当然，购买时也必须保持审慎态度。

Again, I had to do so mindfully.

很多人会说，'哦，我开始学缝纫后就停不下买布料了'。

A lot of people go, Oh, I took up sewing and I couldn't stop buying fabric.

你确实得小心这点，因为布料很贵。

You do have to be careful of that because fabric's expensive.

不过确实，我觉得那是非常有创造力的一年。

But yeah, it was a very creative year, I think.

因为你消除了那些噪音——我感觉这些噪音潜意识里会占据大脑太多空间。

Because you've removed some of the noise that feels I feel like it takes up, again, subconsciously, so much room in your brain.

就像你刚才说的那些情况：'我想要这个，但哪里能买到？哦，断货了？'

All those things exactly as you were saying, the hoops of, oh, I want this, but where can I get an oh, it's out of stock?

也许我得开车到城那头去买，或者找人借，或者上网租。

Maybe I'll drive to the side of the city or borrow it from someone or I can lend it online.

想象一下，当你终于学会关闭这些思绪时，脑袋里能腾出多少空间。

It's a lot of volume in your head, I imagine once you finally figure out how to switch that off.

是啊，确实如此。

Yeah, it is.

现在你这么一问，我就在想，我当时是怎么处理那部分心理负担的？

And I'm thinking now you've asked me that, I'm thinking, oh, what did I do with that sort of mental piece?

但我注意到你本可以单纯享受它的。

But I noticed You could have just enjoyed it.

我确实享受了。

I did.

没关系。

It's okay.

我经常注意到，每当有活动或有人过生日、结婚时，人们总在问'我该穿什么？'

I'd noticed it a lot, if there would be an event or someone's birthday or wedding and I just, people are going, what should I wear?

我会跑去查德森店里找找看。

I'm popping over to Chadson's look for this.

而我当时的心态就是'我已经决定了'。

I And was just kind of like, I'm done.

我知道自己要穿什么。

I know what I'm wearing.

还有大家的

And everyone's

就像，当然，你知道你要

like, of course, you know what you're

穿什么。

wearing.

听起来很棒。

That sounds lovely.

是啊。

Yeah.

那真是太好了。

It was great.

听起来太棒了。

Sounds so good.

在那一年里，是否有某个瞬间或某件事彻底改变了你的思维方式，让你觉得‘天哪’？

Was there a moment or something you realized during that year that completely rewired your mindset where you thought, oh my gosh.

现在我看到了这个，就再也无法视而不见了？

Now that I've seen this, I can't unsee it?

就像那个开关突然被拨动了？

Like, that switch just flipped?

我想是看到了我衣橱里的那些模式。

I think it was seeing those patterns in my wardrobe.

而且我觉得，回到你之前问的问题，是否曾有过觉得困难的时刻？

And I think, you know, coming back to something you asked earlier, was there a point where it felt hard?

大概七八个月的时候，我突然意识到自己一直在买错东西。

There was a point probably seven or eight months in where the penny had dropped on how I was buying the wrong things.

就是追逐那个幻想中的自我，买东西——你知道我还常干一件事，如果喜欢某件黑色的衣服，就会把其他颜色全买下来。

So chasing that fantasy self, buying things, you know, another thing I would do would be buy, if I like something in black, I'd go and buy it in every color.

我以前也这样，没错。

I used to do this too, yes.

或者我会去买一件非常相似的替代品，因为找不到真正想要的那件。

Or I'd go and buy a very similar version to something else because I couldn't find the one I wanted.

我的条纹上衣去哪了？

Where's my stripy top?

哦，我再买一件就是了。

Oh, I'll just buy another one.

天啊。

Oh my God.

或者，你知道，像这样的小事——有段时间我想要一条米白色牛仔裤，却找不到既合身又喜欢的款式，部分原因是我执迷于那种锥形剪裁，不过这已经不重要了。

Or, you know, little things like I wanted, you know, at one point I wanted a pair of like a white, off white jeans and I couldn't find any that I liked that fitted partly because I was chasing that tapered look, that's neither here nor there.

但最后我在Suzanne店里意外找到了。

But I found a pair in Suzanne of all places.

在Suzanne店里买的。

A bit of Suzanne.

尺码很宽松，而且很合身。

Very generous on the sizing and they fit.

虽然不完全是我想要的款式，但我实在太想穿白牛仔裤了，所以还是买了下来，尽管你并不特别喜欢。

They weren't quite what I wanted, but I wanted to wear white jeans so badly that I bought them Even though you didn't love them.

所以当我想明白这一点时，我有点迫不及待想改变，心想：啊，现在我终于明白为什么总是讨厌自己的衣服了——因为我一直在为错误的理由购买错误的款式。

So I think when the penny dropped on that, I was kind of eager to get out and I kind of thought, oh, I know now why I hate my clothes all the time because I'm buying for all the wrong reasons, buying all the wrong stuff.

于是我只留下真正喜欢的几件，结果衣橱变得相当精简。

And so I had these things that I did like, but that was quite a limited wardrobe.

其他衣服我都能看出问题所在，但还是会穿，我知道自己确实把这些衣服穿到了极限，不过我开始整理出一份'要'与'不要'的清单。

Everything else I could see the issues with, and I wore them anyway, and I know I really pushed those to the limits, but I started to compile this sort of list of yeses and nos.

比如关于服装非常具体的细节：我喜欢的衣长、袖型、面料种类、面料克重等，我现在很清楚什么才是适合自己的好选择。

So like really specific things about clothes, like the length that I like, the type of sleeve, the type of fabric, the type of fabric weight, like I really knew what good purchases were gonna be for me now.

当时我特别想冲出去实践，心想：让我试试看，买对的东西吧。

And at that point I kind of wanted to rush out and go, Oh, let me test this out and buy the right things.

这过程其实挺艰难的，但意识到过去购物模式完全错误这个顿悟时刻，彻底改变了挑战的走向——因为我开始预见到挑战结束后（年底不得不考虑这个问题），天啊接下来该怎么办？

So that kind of got quite difficult, but that penny dropping of where the patterns of buying had been really wrong, that kind of really changed the course of the challenge because I could see then a time after the challenge, which I had to start entertaining towards the end of the year because I kind of thought, god, what now?

我会变成什么样子呢？

Like, what am I going to be like?

我会重蹈覆辙吗？会回到原来的老样子吗？

Am I going to repeat all am I going to go back to the way I was?

我会重蹈覆辙吗？

Am I going to repeat all the same patterns?

我认为意识到这些事情听起来很实际，但当它们与情感因素结合时，就变得非常有道理了。

And I think realizing those things, which sound practical, but actually when you marry up with that emotional stuff make a lot of sense.

是的。

Yeah.

那时我开始意识到，我确实取得了突破，因为现在我有很多理由不回到过去的状态——因为有了新的选择。

That's when I started to kind of think, ah, I've really made a breakthrough here because I have so many reasons now not to go back to the way that I was because there's an alternative.

没错。

Yeah.

现在我认为自己已经学会了如何有意识地购买那些真正想穿的衣服。

And I now think that I know how to buy things mindfully that I do wanna keep wearing.

这确实是个转折点，让我走到了今天的位置。

And that's really how that was the turning point that got me to where I am now.

是啊。

Yeah.

你是否曾对这一年即将结束感到紧张？

Were you nervous at any point about coming to the end of your year?

因为我觉得对很多人来说，无论是服装、财务还是健身挑战这类限制性挑战，总有个常见套路——你拼命坚持，熬过去了，结果却彻底反弹。

Because I think for a lot of people, when you do any kind of restrictive challenge, whether it be clothing or finance or even, you know, for people who do fitness challenges and things, there's this, I guess, very common storyline where you do it, you push really hard, you get through it, and you get to the end and you blow out.

你知道的，就是那种大反弹。

You know, you have your huge back.

对。

Yeah.

完全正确。

Exactly right.

你是否曾担心这种情况会发生？还是说你对自己学到的东西如此坚定，确信这会彻底改变你的做法？

Were were you ever concerned that that would be the case, or were you so steadfast in what you learned that you just knew that it was gonna change your approach completely?

我确实担心过，因为环境的力量难以抗拒。

I was concerned because you can't, you know, you can't take the fish out of water.

就像我们仍生活在一个物质越来越丰富的世界

Like, we still live in a world where there is more and more

越来越多

and more

越来越多

and more

越来越多。

and more.

我们依然在社交媒体上看到每个人的生活。

We are still seeing everybody's lives on social media.

依然有人发布最新的推广链接让我点击，那些外部诱惑始终存在。

There is still somebody's latest affiliate link that I can click and there's still those external inputs.

所以我知道——其实我在书里也写到——真正的挑战是在第二年才开始，因为那时我必须学会有意识地消费。

So I knew that, I actually say in the book that the challenge really began the year after because then I had to consume mindfully.

而且，你知道，我确实想更新衣橱里的一些衣物，但必须小心不能过度疯狂或放纵。

And, you know, there were certain things I wanted to replace in my wardrobe, but I had to be careful not to go crazy or be over.

有段时间我也曾过度自信，觉得自己不可能做出错误决定。

I was a bit overconfident at one point as well, I think, or I can't possibly make a bad decision.

在那一年里，我确实买了几样东西，但有几件并不如意。

Whereas a couple of misses throughout that year when I did buy a few things.

具体是哪些东西呢？

What were those things?

能告诉我吗？有没有哪件买来的东西让你现在回想起来觉得‘哦，那真是个糟糕的选择’，而且你知道原因？

Can you tell me, is there something that comes to mind that you bought that you're like, oh, that was a bad and now you can you know why?

有的。

Yeah.

嗯，这个问题有点难回答，因为部分原因是面料问题，确实让人失望。

I mean, it's a hard one because it was partly as well the fabric wasn't, it was a bit of a letdown.

它还存在一些实用性方面的问题。

There were some practical aspects to it.

就是没达到预期效果。

They just missed the mark.

确实没达到预期。

Just missed the mark.

就像是一件西装，算是亚麻混纺的，我以很划算的价格买到，而且非常合身，当时对它非常满意。

Like it was a suit, sort of a linen blend suit that I got on a really good price and it fit really nicely and I was really happy with it.

其实是在英国买的。

Got it in The UK actually.

但当我把它挂出去晾晒时，阳光改变了白色的色调——因为我洗裤子的次数比上衣多得多，导致颜色出现了差异。

And something about when I hung it out, the sun changed the color of the white because I washed the trousers a lot more than the jacket and the color change.

这是其中一个问题，但还有另一个——我看着它时总觉得，这件衣服其实可有可无。

So there was that aspect, but there was another, I just sort of, I look at it and I'm like, I could have lived without that.

本可以

Could have

做得更好。

done better.

是的，我现在还是会穿它，这也是我学到的另一件事：东西不一定要绝对完美。

Yeah, like I wear it because this is the other kind of thing I learned to, things don't have to be absolutely perfect.

穿着使用会改变你对它们的看法。

Wearing things can change your opinion of them.

我从捐赠堆里翻出了不少东西。

I pulled a lot of things out of my donate pile.

哦，我太喜欢这样了。

Oh, I love that.

我说过这个，你知道，我还和群里的其他女性一起进行这个责任挑战。

And I said this, you know, I run this accountability challenge as well with other women in the group.

很多人对这些概念都有自己的体会，但一个普遍存在的真理是——除非你的体型发生了巨大变化，通常你的捐赠堆里总能找到些宝贝，因为我们总是很快就把东西处理掉，因为新鲜感消失了，因为我们想找借口买新东西。

A lot of people have their own kind of experience with these concepts, but something universally true aside from when you've had a drastic change in size, usually there's some treasure in your donate pile because we get rid of things very, very quickly because the novelty's worn off and because we want an excuse to buy something else.

不过确实，我收获了不少。

But yeah, I kind of got a lot.

抱歉，我记不清你最初问我的问题了。

Sorry, I can't remember what you actually originally asked me.

这时我对她说，我们要踏上

This is when I said to her, we're going on

一段旅程，我享受每一分钟。

a journey, I'm loving every minute of it.

不。

No.

我说，嗯，就是，有没有一件特定的物品？

I said, well, it was like, was there a specific item?

我想你已经回答了这个问题。

Which I think you did answer.

比如，嗯，是的。

Like, either Yeah.

那套衣服。

The suit.

不过我觉得你也难免会失手。

You're bound to fall off though too, I think, as well.

当你从根本上改变消费方式时，总会经历一些学习曲线。

Like, when you're changing the way that you fundamentally consume, like, there's gonna be some learning curves.

我觉得很了不起的是，经过那一整年后你能说，虽然有过几次失误，但总体上你非常满意，而且现在你清楚地知道自己需要什么、该寻找什么，能够非常高效地购物了。

Think it's so impressive that you can say after coming out of that whole year, you know, there are a couple of swings and misses, but overall, like, you're really happy and you know what you need and what you look for well enough to shop really effectively now.

是的，我的消费方式就是这样，这也让我原谅了自己无法每次都精准消费。

Yes, the way I consume is, and that's kind of how I forgave myself for not being on the mark every single time.

我的方式与众不同。

The way I different.

但我认为另一个挑战——实际上也是我今年以略微修改的规则再次进行这项挑战的原因——是你无法让鱼离开水。

But I think the other challenge I had, which is actually how I ended up doing the challenge again this year with slightly modified rules is that, again, you can't take the fish out of water.

就像还有太多、太多、太多东西。

Like there is still so much more and more and more.

当我学会更好地购物时，我不得不在这一年里做了个迷你冻结期，三个月不买任何东西，一是因为渴望某件单品（因为选择太多），二是因为你其实只需要一定数量的衣服。

When I learned to buy better, I had to, I did a mini freeze during the year, just three months where I didn't buy anything else because one, was craving that piece because there were so many things, but also two, you still only need a certain amount of clothes.

所以当我学会精挑细选购买真正想穿的衣服时，过度消费的诱惑依然很大——尽管我买的是更有用的东西，我几乎要小心别把好东西也买过头了，毕竟我曾有过疯狂购买所有错误商品的模式，正是这种模式让我不断重复消费。

So what I had learned to buy well and buy things that I would really want to wear, the ability to over consume is still so easy that I almost was getting, even though it was more useful things I was buying, I was almost kind of had to be careful not to over consume good things because I'd had this pattern of over consuming all the wrong things and that's what kept me reconsuming.

而后来，就像我之前说的，我甚至有点过度自信，觉得自己太会买东西了。

Whereas then I had this, as I said before, almost overconfidence where I was like, I buy so well.

而且你知道，就像人们说的，我很会理财。

And, you know, I am good with money as they say.

所以我并没有花我没有的钱，你知道，我几乎有这种困惑——那我到底该在哪里停下来呢？

So I wasn't spending money I didn't have, you know, I had this almost, is it where do I actually stop then?

于是今年我又做了这个挑战，我决定不再往衣橱里添置任何新衣物，部分原因是出于可持续性考虑，这点我稍后会谈到。

So then I had to sort of I did the challenge again this year where I was like, I'm not bringing anything new into my wardrobe, partly for some sustainability reasons, which I'll come on to.

但同时也是为了，我想，重新体验那些我喜爱的衣物带来的经验教训。

But also to to, I guess, experience those learnings again with a wardrobe I loved.

这感觉完全不同，因为我不再需要反思自己过去做错的所有事情。

And that was completely different because I wasn't learning all the things I'd done wrong.

我真正学会的是与现有的一切共处。

I was actually just learning to be with what I had.

如今临近今年尾声，我不必像从前那样大规模更换衣物了。

And now as we come to the end of this year, I don't need to go over and replace things in the way I did before.

所以现在这更像是一个持久性的转变。

So now it's much more of a lasting change that has happened.

今年下半年时，我允许自己有限度地购买二手衣物，因为我想重拾淘旧物的乐趣，但依然很难拒绝那些真正的好东西。

I later towards the second half of this year, I allowed a limited amount of thrifting because I wanted to get back into thrifting, but I still had that, oh, it's really hard to say no to something that's really good.

我该如何限制这种行为？

How do I limit this?

所以我非常想尝试在二手购物是唯一选择的情况下进行。

So I really wanted to try that within the context of thrifting being the only option.

这真的很有趣。

And that's been really fun.

我一直在改造一些衣物。

I've been customizing some things.

我买了几件衣服然后染色。

I've been buying a couple of things and dyeing them.

买了这件然后染成了我的标志性铁锈色。

Bought this and I dyed it into my signature rust.

是啊，它原本是绿色的现在看起来棒极了。

Yeah, it was green it looks fantastic.

我根本看不出这不是它原本的颜色。

I would never have known that that was not its original color.

不，看起来你做得很好。

No, it looked You great job.

非常棒。

So well.

向Ritz致敬。

Shout out to Ritz.

我很喜欢。

I love it.

你看起来美极了。

You look gorgeous.

它还有配套的裤子。

And it has matching trousers as well.

但你知道，创造力真的又回来了。

But that's, you know, creativity has really come back again.

我觉得这并不奇怪，因为今年我已经退后了一步。

And I don't think that that's a surprise that it's in the year where I've stepped back.

而且我觉得确实如此。

And I think just yeah.

某些事物看似限制重重，但实际上蕴含着无数待发现的可能和体验。

Something can seem really restrictive, but actually there's so much to be found and experienced.

完全同意。

Absolutely.

在这个过程中，你的风格发生了怎样的变化？

How has your style changed through all of this?

比如，你现在采用什么标准来评估？

Like, what's the criteria now that you use to assess?

你刚才稍微谈到了可持续性这个要素。

You were talking about sustainability in that element a little bit.

你在考虑将某件衣物纳入衣橱时，会关注哪些方面？

What kind of things are you looking at when you are considering bringing something into your wardrobe?

是的，我非常认同一个观点：最可持续的穿搭就是你已有的衣物。

Yeah, I'm really looking at, you know, I'm very much of the belief that the most sustainable outfit you can wear is one you already have.

所以你看，其实你根本不需要大费周章地去寻找那些标榜可持续发展的品牌，如果你什么都不买的话。

And so there's that, you know, you don't need to be, you know, jumping through hoops and looking for all these amazing sustainable brands if you're not buying anything at all.

是啊。

Yeah.

听着，我可能需要在购物选择上做些改进。

Look, I have some work to do on perhaps where I'm shopping.

你知道，我不会去Sheen和Timu这类平台购物。

You know, I'm not shopping Sheen and Timu and things like that.

但那些主流零售商店，其实也是个灰色地带。

But you know, your shops, your major retailers, it's a gray area.

对，比如你们那边的Kmart

Yeah, like your Kmarts

嗯。

and yeah.

Kmart和Country Road这些，你知道的，根本谈不上可持续发展。

Kmarts Country Road, you know, that it's not exactly sustainable.

所以，对大码服装来说确实更难，真正符合道德生产的大码服装店少之又少。

So I would, again, it can be harder in plus size, there are a lot less truly ethically made plus size stores.

长期以来我都以此为借口。

Again, I use that as an excuse for a long time.

‘因为胖所以买不到符合道德标准的衣服’。

Can't shop ethically because I'm fat.

本不该这样的。

Shouldn't have to.

但这确实很难。

But it is, it's hard.

就像你的选择本已受限，然后——

It's like you're limited already and then,

你懂吧？

you know?

但我现在真的在重点关注那些我会穿的衣服。

But I've really, I'm focusing very much on things I will wear.

在我的标准清单上，我已经总结出最能让我爱上自己身材的因素。

On my criteria list, I've worked out what makes me love my body the most.

所以那些能完美衬托我曲线的衣物，那些加长版型的衣物——因为我的身体比例很特别，躯干特别长。

So things that work really well on my curves, things that run longer because I have a funny body composition that my torso is really long.

我整体算高个子，但主要身高都集中在躯干部分。

I'm tall in general, but a lot of my height comes from my torso.

是啊。

Yeah.

过去很长时间里我都在追求那种修长腿型的运动风，但那根本不符合我的真实体型。

So where for so long I was chasing that like long leggy athletic look that was just so not what I am.

现在我真正开始拥抱自己的曲线，也接纳自己占据的空间。

Now I really kind of embrace my curves, but also the space I take up.

我在书里提到过，如何从追求那种米色极简主义、干净利落、近乎老钱风的造型，转变为更张扬大胆的风格——比如橙色现在成了我的标志色。

I talk in the book a bit about how I moved away from wanting to be that sort of beige minimalist, clean, you know, old money almost look to much more bold and like, orange is my signature color.

在我眼里你就是色彩斑斓的。

You are colorful to me.

每当我想起你，脑海中浮现的都是活力四射的画面。

When I think of you, do, I think of vibrance.

是的。

Yes.

而且你看，我本就不是个安静的人，我有点傻气，爱开玩笑，也不够整洁精致，你知道的，传统意义上那种一丝不苟的形象真的不适合我。

And like, I'm not a quiet person and I am silly and I do joke around and I'm not neat and polished and you know, put together per se in that traditional sense.

所以我开始更彻底地拥抱这种特质。

So I really started to lean into that a bit more.

我开始用一些风格关键词来定义自己。

And I started sort of using these style anchor words.

比如我在英国常喝一种浓缩咖啡加奶油的特饮，他们叫它espresso con pana。

So I started, there's a drink that I have when I'm in The UK, that's like an espresso with whipped cream, they call espresso con pana.

我当时就觉得——这简直是我的风格写照。

And I was like, that's kind of my style.

就像有基础款和经典符号，比如剪裁利落的西装或牛仔单品，但同时又充满这些醒目的点睛之笔。

Like there's the basics and the symbols and the nice clean suiting or denim or whatever, but then there's these like punchy elements as well.

虽然今天没人能看到，但我穿着那双大家熟知的橙色天鹅绒大鞋子。

And like no one can see today, but I'm wearing my big velvet orange shoes, which people have come to know me for.

最常穿的那双。

The most wear the most.

最常穿的。

The most

我见过最夸张的鞋子。

most shoes I've ever seen.

它们美极了。

They're gorgeous.

太棒了。

Fantastic.

它们就像浓缩成鞋子形态的我。

But like they're kind of me in a shoe.

又大又厚重，张扬夺目，占据视线，而且超级酷。

Like they're big and they're chunky and they're loud and they take up space and they're very cool.

这确实是个巨大的转变——从试图把自己塞进那个精致的小盒子，到现在能够随心所欲地展现自我，特别是在当前这种风格趋势明显向右偏移的潮流下，你知道的，就是那种'干净女孩'、'简约核心'的审美。

And that's kind of a really big difference as well from trying to fit into that little neat box to just being like, especially now with the way we're seeing style and we're seeing this move to the right with this sort of, you know, clean girl, clean core.

是啊。

Yeah.

摆脱那种束缚后，连我的美甲师前几天都说，'你是我的客户里唯一一个选亮色指甲油的'。

Moving away from that, even my nail lady said the other day, she goes, you're the only one of my clients that gets a bright color.

这难道不有趣吗？

Isn't that so interesting?

我当时就想，哦，可能其他人上班必须涂裸色吧。

I was like, oh, look, maybe they have to have beige for work.

但事实是，不，这确实是个流行趋势。

But was like, no, it's a real trend.

卡真虾色（Cajun shrimp）那种指甲油早就过时了，你们懂的。

Long gone are the days of Cajun shrimp, you know, for anyone out there.

确实，能在保持个人风格边界的同时拥抱这种变化感觉很棒——知道什么适合自己、会穿什么、能和我现有的衣物搭配。

It's, yeah, like embracing that in my style has been really nice and doing it within the boundaries of this is what works, this is what I will wear, This is something that will fit with what I already have.

是啊。

Yeah.

总的来说，就是减少消费、减少购买，更喜欢自己了。

And overall, just consuming less, buying less, and liking myself more.

哦，那真是理想状态。

Oh, that's the dream.

你提到的那些核心词汇，书里有详细讨论吗？

Those anchor words that you're talking about, is that something you talk through in the book?

因为我在这方面真的很纠结。

Because that's something I really struggle with.

最近有人建议我在Instagram上做问答之类的活动。

Someone asked I do like Q and A on Instagram or something recently.

有人问：你会怎么描述自己的风格？

Someone said, how would you describe your style?

我回答说：对于我的衣服、我的家，我完全说不清楚。

And I said, I have absolute like, for my clothes, for my home, I couldn't tell you.

我觉得这可能是个巨大的问题，因为，当你不知道自己在买什么时，该怎么购物呢？

And I feel like that's probably a huge gap because, like, how do you shop when

你都不知道自己要买什么？

you don't know what you're shopping for?

这就像，如果你不知道自己重视什么，该如何在这个世界上生活？

It It's kind of like, how would you exist in the world if you didn't know what you valued?

当你连自己的风格都不知道时，该怎么购物呢？

How do you shop when you don't know what your style is?

是的，我在书里确实谈到了这点，我是从'必须守好本分'的角度来谈的，毕竟我不是造型师。

I think, yes, I do talk about that in the book and I talk about it in the sense of, I have to stay in my lane because I'm not a stylist.

我经常谈论风格，但我并不是专业造型师。

I talk about style a lot, but I'm not a qualified stylist.

但我谈论风格时，常常会将其锚定在某种实体或视觉元素上，比如一株植物、一个地方或一种城市饮品。

But I talk about it in the sense a lot of anchoring it to something physical or something visual, whether it's a plant or a place or a city drink.

就像之前流行冰拿铁的那个阶段。

There was that kind of iced latte phase.

我觉得

I think a

很多人都会有那种风格，但这背后有很多值得探讨的地方，因为你以某种特定方式感知那种事物。

lot of people will have that sort of style, but there's a lot to be said about that because you perceive that thing a certain way.

所以有人可能会说，哦，我的风格是纽约风。

And so someone might say, oh, my style is New York.

这种风格无法被他人复制，因为他们对纽约的感知是极其个人化的。

And like, that's not something that can be replicated by anybody else because the way they perceive New York is really specific to them.

所以又会有人说，浓缩咖啡？你这是什么风格？

So again, people will be like, espresso, what are you like?

你在说什么啊？

What are you talking about?

但对我来说这完全合理。

But it made sense to me.

我在自己的风格选择中看到了这一点，这才是最重要的。

And I see that in my style choices and that's really all that matters.

而当我们使用诸如‘女性化’、‘花卉’这类词汇时，虽然某种程度上能有所帮助，但一百个女孩排成一列可能都会说‘女性化’，对她们而言含义却各不相同。

Whereas when we kind of use what, you know, feminine, floral, like it can help in a way, but then a 100 girls in a lineup could say feminine and it could mean something different to them.

所以你对这类传统风格词汇的理解。

So your interpretation of like traditional style words like that.

但我认为当你选择时，对某些人来说，他们的风格可能就像一张天鹅绒沙发。

But I think when you pick it, you know, for some people, their style might be like a velvet sofa.

这种意象能唤起他们内心的感受，并在风格中复现出来。

And like that evokes a feeling in them and they replicate that in their style.

这样它就真正成为你独有的特质。

And then it's really unique to you.

这其实正是风格应有的本质，不是吗？

Which is what style should be really, isn't Exactly.

确实如此。

Exactly.

但我们现在风格上却如此趋同。

But we're so homogenous in our style now.

独特性变得越来越罕见。

The individuality is more and more rare.

是啊。

Yeah.

我觉得它也没有得到应有的推崇。

Not celebrated in the way that it should be, I feel like, either.

哇。

Wow.

今天我们讨论了很多内容。

We've covered so much today.

结束前我想问问听众们——如果有人正在想'我需要做这个挑战'，他们其实已经在做和我一样的事了。

Before we go, I would love to know for anyone who's listening, they're going, I think I need they're doing exactly what I'm doing.

我需要参加这个挑战。

I need to do this challenge.

这个挑战就是为我准备的。

This challenge is for me.

对于想要接受这个挑战的人，你会给出什么建议？

What would your advice be to someone who's looking to take it on?

嗯，我在书的最后专门写了一个建议章节。

Well, I have a whole advice section at the back of the book.

所以一定要去看看，因为有很多内容要说。

So definitely check that out because there's a lot to say.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

我的建议是不要想太多。

My advice would be don't overthink it.

尽管我自己已经想得太多，甚至为此写了一本书。

Even though I've overthought it to the point I've written a book about it.

别想太多，顺其自然就好。

Don't overthink it, just see what happens.

再次强调，要相信当困难来临时你一定能克服它们。

Again, trust that you will overcome any obstacles as they come to you.

你会本能地知道自己是否坚守了挑战的价值观。

You'll instinctively know whether you are sticking to your values of the challenge or not.

我想在这个过程中，要思考你希望从中获得什么。

And I guess within that, think about what you want to get out of it.

你对衣物抱持着怎样的感受？

What is the feeling that you have around your clothes?

是的，你有所共鸣，但对你而言那是什么感觉？

Yeah, you relate, but what does it feel like for you?

有哪些具体事物能引发你的共鸣？

What are the examples of the things that you relate to?

衣柜里哪些衣物可能让你联想到理想中的自己？

What items in your wardrobe maybe making you think about your fantasy self?

你理想中的自我是什么模样？

What does your fantasy self look like?

你的购物行为与风格追求如何与你生活的其他方面产生关联？

How does your shopping and your relationship with style kind of relate to everything else in your life?

你知道，对我来说，是那些关于身体形象的问题。

You know, for me, it was those body image issues.

那是在节食文化中成长起来的，你知道，这在很多方面影响了我的金钱观。

It was growing up through diet culture, know, that touched my money in a lot of ways.

而这是那个挥之不去的心结。

And this was that one lingering thing.

我常讲的一个故事，是书中一位来自我的责任互助项目的成员慷慨分享的经历。

A story I tell a lot is a story that's very generously shared in the book from somebody from my accountability program.

她离开了一段有毒的关系后意识到，她幻想中的自我其实并非她真正的理想形象，而是对方强加给她的幻想。

And she had left a toxic relationship and she realized that her fantasy self was actually not her fantasy self, but his fantasy of what she should have been.

就像，有很多种可能性，取决于你处在人生的哪个阶段。

And like, there's a, like, there are so many ways depending on what stage of life you're at.

很多人在成为母亲时会经历对理想自我的幻想。

A lot of people experience fantasy self when they become a mom.

是啊。

Yeah.

因为当你成为母亲时，社会对女性的标准会提升到另一个层次，包括你应该成为的样子、经历的身份转变以及生活方式的改变。

Because they're so, you know, there's that's like next level of women's standards of everything that you should be when you become a mother and the identity shift that you go through and the lifestyle shift that you go through.

新冠疫情在当时是个重要节点，让我思考你的购物模式可能与生活中其他事件如何关联。

COVID was a big one at the time, you know, for me thinking about how maybe your buying patterns are relating to other things happening in your life.

这能帮助你在挑战中找到真正追求的东西。

That can kind of help you find what you're looking for in doing the challenge.

我会谨慎建议不要仅仅为了获得完成挑战的满足感而去做。

I'd be careful of doing it just to get the satisfaction of doing it.

我确信那过程会非常愉快。

I'm sure that can be very enjoyable.

但我觉得你需要带着一个想要解答的问题去参与，这样才能获得深刻的学习体验。

But I think you need to go with a question that you're looking to answer in a way to get that really deep learning out of it.

不过并不需要持续一整年。

But it doesn't need to be a year.

一个月的时间也可以。

It could be a month.

我认为关键是要了解自己的行为模式。

And I think a big one is know your behavioral style.

就像我之前说的，我这个人很适合接受挑战和克制，部分原因与我的工作性质有关。

Like I said before, I'm somebody that does very well with a challenge, with abstinence, partly because of what I do for work.

这对我来说就是素材。

It becomes content for me.

它能帮助我进行审视。

It helps me examine.

我对人类行为动机很着迷，比如我们为何购物。

I'm fascinated by why we do what we do, why we buy.

所以这种方式对我很有效。

So that helps for me.

但如果你是需要三个物品缓冲期的人，那就按自己的节奏来。

But if you are the type of person that needs a three item buffer, work with that.

毕竟你比我更了解你自己。

Like you know yourself better than I know you.

为自己创造成功条件，而不是因为听起来不错就去模仿别人的做法。

Set yourself up for success rather than trying to do what someone else has done because it sounds good.

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

这对你来说必须是非常个人化的。

It's gotta be very personal to you.

就像你的风格。

Like your style.

噢，我喜欢这个。

Oh, I love that.

多么精美的小蝴蝶结装饰啊。

And what a beautiful little bow to title up in.

我非常喜欢这次对话，非常感谢你的分享。

I have loved this chat, and I thank you so much for coming in and sharing.

说实话，能邀请到你真是我的荣幸。

I honestly, it's been such a joy to have you in.

非常感谢你的邀请。

Thank you so much for having me.

这个话题我能聊上一整天。

I could yap about this all day.

噢，你一定要再来做客。

Oh, you'll have to come back.

我知道我们社区的很多成员都会像我一样想深入了解这个项目，所以我们会在节目说明里放上 wardrobe project 的链接方便大家获取。

I know so many of our community members are going to be exactly like me and wanting to dive deeper into this, so we'll pop a link for the wardrobe project in the show notes so you can grab your copy.

说实话，我觉得到2026年我还会在做这个挑战。

I honestly, I think I'll be doing this challenge in 2026.

如果你喜欢本期节目，请把它分享给可能需要重新审视购物习惯或衣橱爆满的朋友。

And if you enjoyed this episode, please send it to a friend who might need a little nudge to rethink their shopping habits or their overflowing wardrobe.

别忘了点击订阅以免错过任何节目，同时也可以查看我们下方提供的艾玛所有相关链接。

Don't forget to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode, and check out all of Emma's links that we'll have down there as well.

感谢大家的收听，我们周五会带来新一期节目。

So thank you for listening, everybody, and we'll be back for another episode on Friday.

再见，各位。

Bye, guys.

再见。

Bye.

《精明理财》提供的建议为通用性质，未考虑您的个人情况。

The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

《精明理财》仅用于教育目的，不应作为投资或财务决策依据。

She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

如您决定购买金融产品，请阅读产品披露声明和目标市场确定书，并获取符合您需求的财务建议。

If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD, and obtain financial advice tailored towards your needs.

Victoria Devine及《精明理财》是MoneySherpa PTY Ltd（ABN 32164927708451289）的授权代表。

Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of MoneySherpa PTY Ltd ABN 32164927708451289.