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大家好，欢迎来到Smosh阅读Reddit故事。我是Shane，今天的主题是家庭。刚才是我模仿范·迪塞尔的口吻。不，那其实挺不错的。
Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is family. That was my Vin Diesel impression. Not That was good.
确实不错。相当好。
That good. Pretty good.
确实不错。我正在练习呢。主题是关于家庭的，众所周知家庭关系毫无问题。比如，家庭和睦。我认识的大多数人，他们的家庭都很美满。
Was good. I'm working on it. It's about family, which is notoriously zero problems. Like, families thrive. I most people I know, their families are great.
从来没有任何矛盾。嗯哼。永远一帆风顺。今天和我一起的是Smosh家族的两位成员，Tommy和Arasha。
There's never an issue. Mhmm. Smooth sailing all the time. I'm joined by two people who are part of the Smosh family, Tommy and Arasha.
哇。真聪明。
Wow. So smart.
看看那边那些东西。
Look at all that stuff there.
我知道。
I know.
告诉各位听众，这里到处都是我们Smosh大家庭的合影。哦，对了，还有老照片
We've got all for those listening, there's a bunch of Smosh family portraits all over the place of all of us. Oh, yeah. There's old
那时的我还是黑发。哇哦。是啊。
me with my dark hair. Wow. Yeah.
说实话，简直像你兄弟。
Honestly, could be your brother.
你一直梦寐以求的三重奏。
The trio you always wanted.
总之。我很喜欢这张。然后旁边就只有Shane一个人。
Anyway. I love that. So And then there's just Shane.
没错。然后这张是我单独的照片。你孤零零地待在那儿。
Yeah. And then there's me by myself. You're all alone over there.
这样也挺酷的。
Which is cool.
我们的儿子。
Our son.
你知道吗？所以今天我们要涵盖所有内容。儿子、女儿、兄弟、姐妹、妈妈和爸爸，今天要讲各种家庭故事。我们都有家人。
You know? So today, we're gonna covering everything. Sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, moms, and dads, all kinds of family stories today. And we all have families
没错。我呢，是个独生子，不过。
That's right. Here. I'm an only child, but.
但每个人都有自己的独特家庭经历。
It's still I I have That's everybody has, like, their own unique family experience.
制片人不知道这事。好吧。
The producers did not know that. So Okay.
但你有可爱的父母。
But you've got lovely parents.
但我有可爱的父母。
But I've got lovely parents.
是的。
Yes.
当他们离开后，就只剩我一个人了。
And when they're gone, it's just me.
对。
Yeah.
不，没有黑暗。没有Illy就拼不出'家庭'这个词。这就是为什么我有姐妹。
No. No darkness. You can't spell family without Illy. That's why I have sisters.
姐妹。姐妹。姐妹。
Sisters. Sisters. Sisters.
我们的第一个故事，我已经爱上这个标题了，来自《我是混蛋吗？我在男友妈妈面前叫他爸爸，我是混蛋吗？》
Our first story, I love this title already, comes from Am I the Asshole? Am I the hole for calling my boyfriend daddy in front of his mom?
我打赌那位爸爸当时一定很困惑。
I bet the dad was so confused.
如今这种事必须经常发生。
This has to happen all the time nowadays.
不过，这就是我。
But, that's me.
我真心希望这种事能经常发生。
I I really hope that it happens all the time.
那就太好了。
That'd be great.
我兴奋得不得了。
I'm incredibly excited.
好吧，我们拭目以待。
Okay. We'll see.
各位Reddit网友好。我是一名24岁的女性，和我28岁的男友交往快满一年了。和普通情侣一样，我们彼此都有专属昵称列表。他叫我小宝贝、肉桂卷、甜心派之类的。我则称呼他宝贝、波比、帅哥，还有我个人最爱的——爸爸。
Hello redditors. I, a 24 year old woman, and my boyfriend, a 28 year old man, have been together just shy of one year. Like any ordinary couple, we both have our list of nicknames for each other. His range from baby girl, cinnamon bun, cutie pie, and so on. Mine range from baby, booby, handsome, and my personal favorite, daddy.
作为背景说明，在讲这个故事之前，我要先提一件事。和我们同住的男友妈妈，当着我们的面称呼她丈夫（也就是我男友的继父）为'波比'。前几天五点左右，我和男友在厨房做饭。我们喜欢让烹饪过程变得有趣，这样就不会感觉像家务活。所以我们的做饭时光通常伴随着轻音乐、跳舞、跑调的歌声和时不时啄木鸟式的亲吻。
Just for reference, before I get into the story, let me mention one thing. My boyfriend's mom, who we live with, calls her husband, my boyfriend's stepdad, Poppy in front of us. The other day around five ish, my boyfriend and I are cooking in the kitchen. When we cook, we like to make it fun so it doesn't feel like a chore. So our cooking sessions often involve some light music, dancing, bad singing, and pecking lips here and there.
话说回来，厨房和客厅之间有一小段开放式隔墙。我们做饭时，他妈妈正站在那个隔墙旁边，无意中听到我喊她儿子'爸爸'。她看起来很不悦，说：'你刚才叫他什么？'起初我以为她在开玩笑，因为她是个很爱讽刺的人，但几秒钟后我意识到她是认真的。我惊讶地看着她，因为完全没注意到她一直在那儿，就回答说'爸爸'。
That said, there is a small open section of wall between the kitchen and living room. While we were cooking, his mom was standing right by that open wall and overheard me call her son daddy. She looked offended and said, what the hell did you call him? At first I thought she was just joking as she is quite a sarcastic lady, but after a few seconds I realized she was dead serious. I looked at her surprised because I had no clue she was there the whole time and responded with daddy.
她难以置信地让我永远不要这样称呼他。我斗胆——用某些人的说法——反问道：'这和您当着我们面叫您丈夫波比有什么区别？'我男友惊得下巴都要掉了，我猜他家狗也是。她那时甚至无法直视我。现在已经过去两周了，男友一直求我向他妈妈道歉，但我真心不觉得自己哪里错了。
She was in disbelief and told me to never call him I that had the audacity, as some might say, to respond by saying, how is this any different from you calling your husband Poppy around us? My boyfriend's jaw dropped. I think his dogs did too. She couldn't even look at me at that point. It's been two weeks now and my boyfriend has been begging me to apologize to his mom, but I genuinely don't understand how I'm in the wrong.
网友们，换作是你们会怎么做？根据我的理解，'波比'这个称呼更像是...
Redditors, what would you do if you were me? So, from what is being explained to me, Poppy is a little
一种更偏向于...
bit more of a term
亲昵的称谓。它的适用范围更广。而'爸爸'这个称呼，周围人都明白其中暗示着什么。对吧？就像，大家都懂的那种。
of endearment. It has a wide wider range of Yeah. Whereas daddy, it's like anyone who's around knows what that is inferring. Right. Like, that is very much It's like, yeah, we get it.
除了我父亲。我爸就不知道那种...你懂的
Except for my dad. My dad doesn't know that that's like, you know
好吧，如果你有个人
Well, if you have someone
不，真的。就像，他每次我们谈话时都会说，你知道的，需要什么就问我。她会说，爸爸，我需要什么。我就说，我可不能那么说。
No, really. Like, he's like, you know, whenever we're talking he's like, you know, just ask me if you need something. Like, she'd be like, daddy, I need something. I'll be like, I can't say that.
好吧。那是另一回事了。这是最近才
Okay. Well, that's that's different. This is a very recent I
我懂。
get that.
这这非常像，而且这是最近的术语，但是
Where where this is a very like and this is very recent terminology But, that
我想这在他描述这是他最喜欢的名字时，可能显得很甜蜜。
I guess it can be sweet in the way that he described that it's his favorite name.
是啊。
Yeah.
我当时就像那样
I was like The way
男朋友的反应让我好奇这话是怎么说的。他们俩之间到底是怎么表达的？算了。现在我也在想，妈妈说不准那么叫他，这公平吗？就像，嘿，他们不知道你在场。
that the boyfriend's reacting has me wondering how it was said. Like, how was it said between the two of them? Whatever. Now, do I also think it's fair that the mom's like, you can't call him that? It's like, hey, they didn't know you were around.
在他们私密空间里，他们可以随心所欲地交谈。是的。但我觉得问题在于，这和你当着我们面叫你丈夫‘小亲亲’有什么区别？
In their privacy, they're allowed to speak to each other however they want. Yes. But, I think the thing is now she's is it any different from you calling your husband Poppy around us?
她生气的是这个。
Is what she's upset about.
可能这才是当前问题的核心。对吧。这是否让她显得很混蛋？
Is probably the core of what's going on right here. Right. Is that what made her an asshole or not?
是啊。我确信从‘别在我家搞亲密行为’或‘你们自己私下解决’的角度看基本是这样。可能更保守的观点之类的。但回头又说‘你们明明也知道’。
Yeah. I'm sure it basically is from the point of view of like, don't be sexual in my house if you can, or keep that over there for you guys. Yeah. Maybe from a more conservative standpoint or something. But then to come back and be like, well you knew it too.
对啊。
Yeah.
我认为这就是让我感到不安的地方。你说得对，这是两个自愿的成年人之间可以互相调情。他们在做饭，气氛变得暧昧，就像‘爸爸把肉桂递给我’这样。而妈妈的反应却是‘警报？天啊，那可是我的小宝贝儿子’。
That's I think what the upsetting part is for me. You're right, these are two consenting adults who are allowed to be playful with each other. They're cooking, it's getting spicy, they're like, daddy pass me the cinnamon, you know. And and the mom was like, alarms? Oh my god, that is my little baby boy.
他不是爸爸。他不是那种角色。如果她称呼伴侣为‘波比’，也许她明白其中的暗示，然后突然意识到‘天哪，我现在把这些联想起来了’，于是感到不舒服。
He's not daddy. He's not that. And and if she is calling her partner Poppy, maybe she understands the implications of that and is like, oh my gosh, now I'm associating these things and she's uncomfortable.
是的。
Yep.
然后当她试图...对，就是提出这个问题时，却遭到反击，像是‘你还不是这样那样’，结果事情就闹得更大了。
And then when she Right. Sort of addressed that, it was met with this retaliation of like, well you do this, and and it just became this much bigger thing.
是啊。我觉得...这种情况，你知道我从不赞成撒谎，但这是不是该敷衍过去‘哦当然，抱歉啦，我们不会了’。
Yeah. I think. It's also like, is it a situation, you know, I'm never a fan of lying, but is this a situation where you just go like, oh yeah, for sure, sorry about that. Yeah. We won't.
对，我们不会了。然后...可能...就变成‘别让妈妈听见’这样。
Right. We won't. And then Maybe. It's like, make sure mom doesn't hear us
对，说着这些话。
Right. Saying shit.
人们通常都会这样
That's usually what people
就像，为了维持和平，因为我们住在同一个屋檐下。所以男友们会很尴尬，心想'完了，现在我妈和我女朋友吵起来了'
Like, to like keep the peace because it's like, well, she lives we live in the same house. So, the boyfriends, they're mortified like, oh, now my mom and my girlfriend are beefing
是啊。
Yeah.
而且我们都住在同一栋房子里。
And we're all in the same house.
而且，你只是不想面对那种冲突。
And, you just don't want that confrontation.
你也不希望家里有那种负能量。
You don't want that energy in the house either.
他们在一起还不到一年。我们不知道那是谁的家，是妈妈的家他们住在那儿，还是妈妈和儿子住一起之类的。嗯。最后的结论是'混蛋'。
They've been together just shy of a year. We don't know whose house it is, like if it's the mom's house they're living there, or if the mom is living with the the son or whatever. Mhmm. The verdict was asshole.
好的。
Okay.
关于那些评论，我们都知道那个词带有性暗示。你是个混蛋。根据评论，我知道人们会反对并不同意我的观点，但没人想听那些。如果你在自己家里，随便你怎么说。
And the comments we have, we all know that that word has a sexual connotation. You're the asshole. Based on the comments, I know people are going to down vote and disagree with me, but like nobody wants to hear that. If you're in your own house, sure. Go ahead.
但如果你在他母亲家里，那就不可接受了。我不了解你男友的母亲，但在西班牙文化中，'poppy'常被用作亲昵称呼。它可能有性暗示，但不总是。我听过母亲这样称呼儿子表达亲昵，也有人这样称呼他们的狗。
But if you're in his mother's house, then that is not okay. I don't know about your boyfriend's mom, but poppy is used in Hispanic culture a lot as a term of endearment. It can be sexual, but not always. I've heard moms call their sons that as a term of endearment. I've heard people call their dogs that too.
有人说daddy并不完全等同于Poppy。Poppy更通用，可以在柏拉图式关系中使用。而称呼非孩子生父的男友为daddy，无论意图如何，在不同性取向中都主要带有性暗示，这可能是她反应激烈的原因。既然你和她同住，值得忍气吞声道个歉。在她家里没必要当着她的面这么称呼他。
Someone said daddy does not necessarily equal Poppy. Poppy is more universal and can be used between people platonically. Calling a boyfriend who is not the father of your child daddy has a predominantly sexual connotation across orientations whether you intend it or not, which is probably what she was reacting to. Since you live with her it's worth it to suck it up and apologize. There's no reason you have to call him that around her in her home.
最后有人说，你是个混蛋。我个人觉得整个daddy称呼都很奇怪，可能已经带有偏见，但在他妈妈面前...恶心。让我觉得特别诡异的是他们不知道母亲在场，就像不是故意当着母亲面说这个。
Lastly someone said, you're the asshole. I find the whole daddy thing weird in general so I might be a little biased already, but in front of his mom, Ew. I think where I'm like where it's weird for me is that they didn't know the mom was there. Like, they weren't if she was on purpose saying it in front of the mom
那情况就不同了。
That's different story.
哇哦。那完全是另一种非常色情的意味。会让母亲感到不适的。是的，她当时不知道。
Woah. That's That's a different very sexual. Like, that would make a mom uncomfortable. Yeah. She didn't know that.
但他们在一个厨房里，那是个公共场合
But They are in a in a kitchen, which is a I public
我认为她的反应本可以避免这个混蛋判决
think I think her reaction would have kept this from being an asshole verdict.
对，完全正确
Right. Exactly.
但问题在于她当时说，你管你丈夫叫波比
But, it's that she went, well you call your husband Poppy.
就是这个决定
That the decision.
你本可以说，你说得对，对不起
All you had do is go like, you're so right. Sorry about You're
确实如此
that so Totally.
对不起，妈妈。
Sorry mommy.
抱歉，妈妈。是的，我想...不，说实话，我通过这些评论最终理解的是，你可能愿意接受涉及性方面的事情。这对你和你的伴侣都没问题，但可能有其他人无意中被卷入，他们表示对此感到不适。所以与其说'忍着吧'，更应该采取的态度是：好的，明白了这是你家，这是你儿子，你本不必听到这些，所以不如分开而不是勉强适应，懂吗？
Sorry mommy. Yeah. I think, no, and truthfully too, I think what I'm also finally understanding as well with those comments is maybe something that you are okay embracing in in terms of things of sexual nature. It's okay for you and and for your partner, but there might be another person unknowingly circle, and they are expressing that they are uncomfortable with it. So instead of being like deal with it, it should be sort of treated more like, okay, understood it's your house, this is your son, like, you you didn't necessarily deserve to hear that, so let's just separate instead of get used to it, you know?
也许那种
Maybe that kind of
当然，因为
sure, because
是啊，这就涉及到共享空间的问题了，任何与性相关的内容都需要确保住在这里和使用这个共享空间的每个人都感到舒适。对，对，这挺有意思的。
yeah, gets into territory of like, you're you're in a shared space, so like anything sexual it's like, hey, like everybody who lives here and uses this shared space probably needs to be comfortable with it. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting.
不过我很高兴他喜欢这样。
I love that he loves it though.
我觉得我们记错了，她说自己最喜欢称呼他为
I think we're misremembering that she says her personal favorite to call him
是的。是爸爸。
Yes. Is daddy.
那么，我们并没有信息表明他是那个的粉丝对吧。而且正在推动那个。我们只知道当他妈妈遇到这件事时，他感到非常不舒服。
So, has not we have no information that he is a fan of that Right. And is pushing for that. We just know that when this happened with his mom, he was very uncomfortable.
对。而且他当时在要求道歉，所以也许那里可能
Yeah. And he was asking for an apology, so maybe there Maybe
他不喜欢这样。是的。他就像在说，我妈妈反对这个。也许我能让她停下来。
he doesn't like it. Yeah. And he's like, my mom was against it. Maybe I can make her stop.
他说，妈妈，躲到墙后面去。
He's like, mommy, hide behind the wall.
妈妈妈妈，躲到墙后面去。妈妈，求你了。妈妈。
Mommy mommy, hide behind the wall. Mommy, please. Mommy.
妈妈，她在叫我爸爸。请让
Mommy, she's calling me daddy. Please make
让她停下。
her stop.
妈妈。好的。
Mommy. Okay.
我现在很讨厌它。
I hate it now.
我很好奇。真希望我能掌握更多相关信息。谢谢。这很有趣。我觉得这肯定不是世界上唯一发生的类似事件。哦。
I'm so curious. I feel like I wish I had so much more info on that one. Thank It's interesting. I feel like that is not the only incident of that happening in the world. Oh.
我认为这种情况肯定一直在发生。
I think that's gotta be happening all the time.
是啊。不过现在想想背后其实挺有喜剧效果的，对吧？比如全家人围坐在餐桌旁，有人说：爸爸把盐递给我。然后父亲和男友同时伸手去拿。
Yeah. Well, there's that there's like a comedy behind it now. Right? Like, the whole family being at the dinner table and someone being like, daddy pass the salt. And, the father and the boyfriend both reach for it.
就像是，
It's like,
然后他们手碰手，接着说道，哦，爸爸。
And they touch hands and then they go, oh, daddy.
今天的Red Stories由Zocdoc赞助播出。不知道你们怎么样，但我的信息流里全是健康趋势，比如奇亚籽、柠檬汁和水助消化，或者白干酪就是完整的营养计划。与其依赖算法，我决定交给专业人士，使用Zocdoc。Zocdoc是一个免费的应用和网站，你可以搜索并比较网络内的高质量医生，点击即可立即预约。我们都经历过只有一天休息时间处理事情的情况，但通过Zocdoc预约通常很快，通常在预订后24到72小时内就能安排。
Today's Red Stories is brought to you by Zocdoc. Now, I don't know about you, but my feed is full of health trends like chia seeds, lemon juice, and water aid your digestion, or cottage cheese is an entire nutrition plan. Instead of relying on the algorithm I am going to leave it to a professional and use ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We've all been there where we only have that one day off to get something done, but appointments made through ZocDoc also happen fast, typically within just twenty four to seventy two hours of booking.
大多数情况下，你甚至能约到当天的就诊。我找到了一些很喜欢的医生，当我想再次预约时，可以在应用上看到他们实际的就诊时间，并选择适合我的时间段。使用Zocdoc非常简单。无论何时需要医生，无论什么专科，我都能找到他们，而且我知道他们在我的保险范围内，因为我可以搜索这一点。别再拖延那些医生预约了，访问zocdoc.com/pitreddit，今天就能找到并立即预约一位高评分的医生。
More often than not you can even get same day appointments. I've found some doctors I really like so when I want to book with them again I can go on the app and see their actual appointment openings and choose a time slot that works for me. It has been so simple to use ZocDoc. Whenever I need a doctor, whatever the specialty, I can find them and I know they're covered under my insurance because I can search for that. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com/pitreddit to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
网址是z o c d o c 点 com 斜杠 pit reddit。Zocdoc.com/pitreddit。回到节目。好了，我们的下一个故事。
That's z o c d o c dot com slash pit reddit. Zocdoc.com/pitreddit. Back to the show. Alright. Our next story.
嗯。
Yeah.
我是那个不遵循丈夫家庭传统的混蛋吗？我，一个28岁的女性，我29岁的丈夫来自一个非常传统的家庭。虽然我们在很多事情上与他的家庭意见不合，但直到现在才真正成为问题。我目前怀孕八个月，我和丈夫非常高兴，因为我们努力了很久。自从我第一次发现自己怀孕以来，我们一直在讨论孩子的名字。
Am I the asshole for not following my husband's family tradition? My, this is a 28 year old woman, my husband who's 29 comes from a very traditional family. While we disagree with his family on many things, it has never really been an issue until now. I am currently eight months pregnant and my husband and I couldn't be happier as we've been trying for a while. Since I first found out I was pregnant, we've been discussing names for our child.
在我丈夫的家庭中，传统要求孩子以他的祖父命名。基本上，家族中的长子只有两个名字之一，詹姆斯或亨利。我丈夫的祖父叫詹姆斯，所以他叫詹姆斯二世。我丈夫的父亲叫亨利，所以我们的孩子应该是二世，以此类推。但是，我和丈夫并不想给我们的孩子取名亨利。
In my husband's family, the tradition wants the child to be named after his grandfather. Basically, first born men in his family only have one of two names, James or Henry. My husband's grandfather was James, so his name is James two. My husband's father is called Henry, so our child should be two, and so on and so forth. But, my husband and I didn't really feel like calling our child Henry.
虽然以家族成员命名是一种美好的纪念方式，但我们真心希望孩子能拥有专属自己的名字。因此我们另选了一个名字，并决定出生后再向大家公布。这周婆婆来帮忙准备婴儿用品时，带了几件亲手绣着'亨利'名字的衣物。我礼貌致谢但明确表示，正如之前告知的，我们不会用这个名字。
And, although it's a beautiful way to honor family members, we really wanted our child to have a name that would be personal, that would truly be his. So, we chose another name and decided to wait until after the birth to reveal it to everyone. This week, my mother-in-law came to visit us and help us set up for the baby. She brought us some presents amongst which was a bunch of clothes on which she hand embroidered the name Henry. I said that it was nice and thanked her for it, but told her that we wouldn't be naming our child Henry as we had already told her in the past.
她开始强调这是家族传统必须遵守。我解释更想用自己选的名字，亨利可以作为中间名。她立刻找我丈夫哭诉，说我破坏延续数百年的传统（说实话存疑）。丈夫试图解释这是我们共同的决定，但她根本听不进去。
She started insisting and saying that it was a tradition, so it had to be that way. I explained to her that we'd rather give our child a name that we chose and that Henry could be his middle name. She immediately went to my husband and started saying things like, you're not going to let her do that to our family, and making it very dramatic saying that I was breaking a tradition that went back hundreds of years. Honestly, not sure about that. My husband tried to explain that we both agreed on the name and that all the reasons why we made that that choice, but she wouldn't listen.
她建议法律文件用亨利名，平时用其他称呼。我认为这会让孩子困惑，坚持使用选定名。她不断哀求丈夫，指责我破坏传统。后来我失控了（可能受荷尔蒙影响），直言这是我们的孩子，没必要遵守愚蠢传统。她愤然离去后，丈夫陆续收到公公和小姑子的指责短信。
She suggests that we name him Henry on paper as his legal name and then call him something else, but I thought that would be confusing for him and told her that he would be named what we chose. She kept begging my husband and saying that I was ruining the family tradition. And at one point I lost it, which is partially to blame on hormones I think. And told her that it was our child so we did what we wanted and we didn't have to follow a stupid tradition. She stormed out and my husband has since received texts from his father and sister accusing me of making his mother feel really bad and some other stuff that I don't really remember.
我理解传统的重要性，但认为不该成为强制义务。我们不会更改婴儿名字，不过也在反思是否该违背传统。整件事让我心力交瘁。编辑补充：看到很多评论说见过类似故事——
I get the importance of tradition and it can be really beautiful, but also I feel like that shouldn't be an obligation and it's okay to change things. We won't change our baby's name because we're really set on that, but maybe we were wrong for not following the tradition. I'm not entirely sure and am mentally exhausted by all this drama. Edit. I've seen many comments mentioning they saw similar stories in the past.
需要说明那些不是我发的。这些事就发生在两天前，但惊讶于这么多家庭有相似传统。原以为这种情况极其罕见，毕竟我们读过无数类似'世代相传必须延续'的...
I'd like to clarify those weren't mine. All of those events happened two days ago, but it's crazy to see how many families have similar traditions. I really thought that was a super rare thing. I mean, we've read a million tradition stories that are sort of like this just like, you know. Yeah.
对，就是那种'祖宗之法不可变'的...
Yeah. Like, well, we've done this for generations, so we have to keep doing
我热衷于打破传统。
passionate about breaking tradition.
对。
Right.
我是说，如果我愿意的话，我的下一个纹身真的会打破传统。
I mean, if I like, my next tattoo is truly going to be break tradition.
是啊。
Yeah.
我、我、我认为这相当...我理解仪式的历史意义，很多时候它与宗教、信仰和灵性紧密相连，这毫无疑问，但至少要对传统提出质疑。
I I I think it's quite I understand the historical relevance of a ritual, and and a lot of the times it can be tied to religion and faith and spirituality, absolutely, but at least question tradition.
没错。
Yeah.
为什么它能存在这么久？它的重要性是什么？有没有折中的办法？中间名听起来就很完美。
Why is it around for so long? What's the importance of it? Is there a way of a compromise? The middle name sounded perfect.
我觉得很多人都是这么做的。
I feel like that's what so many people do.
这听起来像是个绝佳的选择，既能包容他人，又不会强行压制不同观点或强迫他们加入这个传统。
That sounded like such a great option and a way to include people rather than bulldozing ideas and perspectives and forcing them to join this tradition.
我有个关于细节的问题。他的名字是詹姆斯二世吗？不，不是小詹姆斯二世？
I have a question on one of the details. His name is James Two? No. Not Junior Two?
不，他就叫詹姆斯。
No. His name is just James.
哦，t o o。天啊，我还以为他叫詹姆斯二世。詹姆斯这个传统太疯狂了。不。
Oh, t o o. God. I thought his name was James two. James This tradition is crazy. No.
亨利·方兹？其实这其实有点
Henry Fonz? It's actually it's actually kind
对我来说是个有趣的习俗，因为确实，他们中没有谁是小字辈或三世之类的。就像，不，你是詹姆斯，你爸是亨利，他爸是詹姆斯，再往上又是亨利，再往上又是詹姆斯。
of a funny tradition to me because, yeah, none of them are juniors or the third or something. It's like, no, you're James, and your dad's Henry, and his dad's James, and his dad's Henry, His and dad's James.
而且，不管叫什么名字，从基因上说你们还是一家人。
And, regardless of the name, you're still genetically the family.
这种传统似乎源于家庭内部的不适感，他们似乎非常在意必须给孩子取这个名字。看起来他们并没有充分考虑其他人认为这孩子重要的特质，当然更没考虑孩子自己的意愿。
It feels like this tradition is almost rooted in discomfort from the family, like it's important to them that this child named that. It doesn't seem like they're doing a lot of around the table consideration of what other people find important about this kid, and certainly not the child himself.
是啊。这更像是一种控制手段。我也喜欢传统，但我喜欢的是那种'我们每年都这样聚会'或'我们有某种固定活动'的传统。
Yeah. This feels like more of a thing of control, And, like, I like traditions too, but I think I like traditions that are more like, oh, we do this get together every year, or like we like there's something that happens.
我们去苹果蜂餐厅
We go to Applebee's
对啊。没错。就像，当然好啊。你懂吧？但是，'不，你就得叫这个名字'这种感觉...
Yeah. In Yeah. Like, hell yeah. You know? But, just like, no, your name is this just feels
它的影响更持久。这是
It's longer lasting. It's
是啊。就像，那不是
Yeah. Like, that's not
这更沉重。
It's heavier.
对我来说那不是传统，那是家人。
That's not legacy to me. That's family to me.
是啊。我觉得自愿参与传统活动本身就有种美感，对吧？比如二月份去Applebee's餐厅这种事，大家都会欣然同意。对，就这么办。
Yeah. There's also, I think, beauty in voluntary participation in traditions, right? Like, something like Applebee's in February feels like something everyone can be like, yes. Yes. Let's do it.
是啊。而不是被迫去做，或者因为十五年前订好的约定就非得...
Yeah. Rather than, we gotta do this, or you know, we made a reservation fifteen years ago and we have
必须履行。这真的挺有意思。
to do it. That's really funny.
我觉得这是我最难认同的一点——当人们说'你会给儿子取名詹姆斯吧'，对方明明不愿意，却还被劝说'你应该这么做'。我就想，等等，明知对方不愿意还要强迫，这不就会让双方都一直别扭吗？这种不满会一直潜藏着的吧？
I think that's something that I I have a hard time getting behind when I I know like people are like, oh, you're gonna name your son James. They're like, well, don't want to. And, like, well, you should though. But, I'm like, wait, if you know they don't want to Yeah. Isn't that gonna make you uncomfortable forever that you've made them do something they don't wanna do, and it's gonna kind of be boiling under the surface?
是啊。他们得...
Yeah. They have
比你陪伴孩子更长时间。
to be around their kid longer than you do.
而且，他们的前夫叫詹姆斯？
And, what their ex husband's name is James?
而且，如果那样的话你考虑过吗？
And, what if and did you consider that?
你想过吗？给孩子取前任的名字真的很伤人。光是这么想想就觉得不妥。
Did you think about that? Be really harmful to name your kid the name of your ex. Just thinking about it like that.
这其中还暗藏着父权制的狗屁逻辑，他们根本不在乎她家的传统。
There's also the underlying patriarchal shit of this of like, they don't give a shit what her family traditions are.
没错。
Right.
完全正确。就好像'这是我们的规矩，所以比你们的更重要'。
Totally. It's like, well, is ours, so it trumps yours.
那如果是个女孩呢？如果是个女婴呢？女孩叫亨利？
And, what if there's a girl? What if it's a baby girl? Henry the girl?
我理解，我假设他们会说，哦，那我们不在乎。
I get I'm assuming They'd be like, oh, well then we don't care.
那我们就把它放回去。
Well, then we put it back.
我们把它退还给寄件人。哦。
We put it we return to sender. Oh.
没错。有趣的是妈妈如此极力推动这件事。对吧。我是说，家里其他人也有同感。我们能从这件事看出来，但显然妈妈之前顺应了这个传统，现在她不再这样了，所以这必须是
Exactly. It's interesting that it's the mom pushing this so hard. Right. Mean, the rest of the family feels the same way. I think we get that from this, but clearly the mom went along with the tradition, and so now she's not, and it's gotta be
这种强迫。就像我不得不做一样。
this forcing. Like I had to do it.
是啊。你做了。我觉得大家都听过这种说法：我们以前都这么做，所以这很正常。但这就像一种清算，我确信随着年龄增长我们也会面临，比如，哦，我们曾经忍受的这些破事。而年轻人会说，我们可不会忍。
Yeah. You do it. It's kind of that I feel like everybody's heard that of like, well, we did this, so that's normal. But, I it's like a reckoning that I'm sure we'll face too as you get older of like, oh, this bullshit we went through and tolerated. Then younger people are like, we're not gonna tolerate this.
这就好比说，你们应该忍，因为我忍过。然后突然意识到，你们不忍意味着在我内心深处不得不面对一个事实：也许我本不必忍。
It's like, well, should because I did. It's like, oh, wait. You not tolerating it means somewhere in my head I have to face the fact that maybe I didn't have to.
对。
Right.
就像，不，世界在变。是的。现在和那时已经是不同的世界了，传统也会因为世界的变化而改变。我们早已不是生活在十九世纪了。
It's like, no, the world changes. Yeah. It's a different world than it was then, which is also like traditions change because the world changes. We're not in the eighteen hundreds anymore.
没错。我觉得因为我们的世界变化如此之大、如此之快，至少我和我的同龄人，我们这些人，我觉得我们会达到那个阶段，会愿意接受，比如，哦，你们的情况不同？很好。我很高兴有所不同。而不是说，哦，
Right. I feel like because our world is changing so much, so frequently, at least me and my peers, us here, I feel like we're gonna get to that stage, and we'll be open to be like, you know, oh, it's different for you guys? Great. I'm glad it's different. Not like, oh,
嗯，我们你
well, we you
当年是这样做的，所以你们也得那样做。你知道，就像我我还清了学生贷款。哦，是的。哦，是的。但我不指望但我希望其他人的学生贷款能被免除。对。
did it this way, so you gotta do it that You know, it's like I I paid off my student loans. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. But I don't expect But I want the rest of the student loans to be forgiven. Right.
我的想法是，不能仅仅因为我已还清，你们就得照做。不。
I'm like, just because I paid mine off, you gotta it. No.
是啊。是啊。
Yeah. Yeah.
不。绝对不行。
No. Absolutely.
自由去吧。
Be free.
我同意。因为确实，就像我上大学时世界已经不同了。
I I agree. Because yeah, it's like, when I went to college the world was different.
对。
Right.
你知道，十年前。现在世界变了，人类会适应。对吧？就像，这会是件奇怪的事，我敢肯定等我80岁时，看着年轻人会想，这他妈是什么？
You know, ten years ago. Like, the world is different now and humans adapt. Right? Like, so it's gonna be this weird thing of like, I'm sure when I'm 80 I'm gonna look around at young people and be like, what the fuck?
这他妈是什么？你在干嘛？
What the fuck is this? Are you doing?
但我会想，哦对，因为世界变了，你们都适应了所以
But, I'm like, oh right, because the world's different and you all adapt so
嗯，没错。
well. Right.
你已经适应了这个新世界，并且为此而生。
That you've adapted to this new world and you're built for it.
是的。不过从某种扭曲的角度来说，这种适应能力和灵活性本身也是新的，不知道这样说是否合理。对吧？所以我们也应该对那位女性，那个家庭的母亲保持宽容，我认为需要承认的是，这些问题可能根深蒂固，明白吗？
Yeah. In a twisted way though too, it's like this level of adaptation and flexibility is also new, if that makes sense. Yeah. Right? So, just sort of to give grace as well to to that to the woman, the mom of that family, like, there is I think, we need to acknowledge that like, it's almost, it can be, like, these deep rooted issues, right?
就像人们说的，创伤会代代相传，直到有人勇敢到愿意直面它。是的。哇。确实。
Like, they say trauma is passed down from generation to generation until somebody is brave enough to feel it. Yep. And Wow. Right.
哇。而且
Wow. And
这并不是说前人不够勇敢，只是他们当时还没有掌握方法，所以已经竭尽所能，用当时必须的方式生存下来。但现在希望有人或事能帮助引导，比如：让我们来剖析它，真正理解它，用重新赋予能动性的方式解构它。对吧。为了那些在她之前的女性们。
and it's it's not that the people before aren't aren't brave necessarily, it's just that they don't have the tools yet, so they're doing their best, and they're operating with what they need to operate with in order to survive. But now, hopefully, there can be somebody or something that can help navigate it to be like, hey, let's unpack it. Let's actually understand it. Let's break it down in a way that re filters some of that agency Right. For the women that came before her.
是的。一方面，发帖人有支持她并同意改变的丈夫。另一方面，现在是2025年，不同于当年她母亲试图打破传统的九十年代。
Yeah. Because for one, OP has a husband who is backing her and also agrees on this change. Yeah. But also, yeah, there's the aspect of like, it's also twenty twenty five as opposed to the mom trying to be like, oh, let's break tradition. It's the nineties.
对。
Right.
这是个截然不同的情况，完全不同的'是'。而且是一个完全不同的丈夫，所以我们无从知晓。
It's a different and completely different Yes. And a completely different husband, so we don't know.
不同的支持体系，不同的规范，不同的参考依据，完全是另一回事。仅仅期望你也应该开放和灵活是不公平的。对吧？这是双向的。
Different support system, different norms, different references to point to It's a whole another thing, and it's unfair to just expect you should also be open and flexible. Right. You know? It's it's both ends.
但同时也要承认这涉及到整个家庭和母亲的深度。对吧。这几乎更进一步说明了，是的，你的...
But, also acknowledging how deep this goes with the whole family and the mom. Right. It almost furthers the point of, yeah, your Yeah. Own
对。
Right.
是的。因为这个...这个你无法解开。
Yeah. Because this this you can't unravel this.
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以，走你自己的路。没错。而且，他们会不高兴的，因为他们还没搞清楚所有状况。
So, go your own path. Yeah. And, they're gonna be upset because they have not reckoned with everything that's going on.
对。但希望这能成为一个开始。
Right. But, hopefully this can initiate the beginning of that.
希望如此。我是说，家人之间并不总是能有那种，你懂的，就是那种'你知道吗？你...对'的时刻。
Hopefully. I mean, families We don't always have those moments where it's like, you know what? You're Yeah.
好吧。如果这样，未来的小卡尔——我们就叫他卡尔吧。小卡尔有了家庭，然后他说'我要给我的孩子起名叫詹姆斯五世'。
Okay. What if okay. In the future, baby Carl, we're gonna call him Carl. Baby Carl has a family, and he's like, I'm name my kid James five.
他会说'我们要让这个名字重出江湖'。
He's like, we're bringing it back baby.
你不打算给孩子起名叫亨利吗？那你要叫他什么？本里。
You're not naming your kid Henry? What are you naming him? Benri.
本里八世。
Benri eight.
本里 哦，天啊。给孩子起名像是某某二世，但他们其实不是
Benri Oh, god. Naming your child like something junior, but they're not
二世。这太棒了。
a junior. That's awesome.
这太棒了。这太棒了。
That's awesome. That's awesome.
告诉你婆家，你们家族千年来的传统是由孩子的父母决定名字，你们会遵循家族传统，而不是那个混蛋。上万点赞。有人说，你丈夫需要强硬起来，说这是我的决定，而不是让他们怪罪你。发帖人说他一直试图这样做，但家人不听，还坚信是我操纵了他，不过至少他在坚持立场。有人回应说，天啊，这说的就是我。
Tell your in laws that the thousand year long tradition in your family is that the mother and father of the baby choose the name, and you'll be following your family's tradition, not the asshole. 10,000 up votes. So said, your husband needs to snap back and say this is my decision instead of allowing them to blame you. OP says he's been trying to but his family won't listen and they're convinced that I manipulated him or something, but at least he's standing up to them so there's at least that. Someone responded that saying, oh man, this was me.
我伴侣做的任何他们不喜欢的事都成了我的错。任何分歧都是因为我洗脑。我当时想，我连让他们洗完澡挂毛巾都做不到，真不知道这指控从何而来。有人说，不是混蛋。我家也有同样的传统。
Anything my partner did that they didn't like equaled my fault. Any disagreement about anything was because of my brainwashing. I was like, I can't even get them to hang up their towel after a shower, so I'm not sure where this is coming from. Someone said, not the asshole. My family has the same tradition.
我记得我哥哥和嫂子没遵守时我很不高兴。真惭愧。我当时太沉浸在传统里，没考虑其他可能。嫂子能独立自主真是好样的。我从她身上学到了很多。
I remember being unhappy when my brother and his wife didn't follow it. Shame on me. I was too steeped in traditions to consider an alternative. Good on my sister-in-law for being independent. I learned from her.
你在给孩子自由。做得好。看，还是有能吸取教训的家人嘛。这就对了。有人说，不是混蛋，传统不过是来自死人的同辈压力。
You are giving your child freedom. Good for you. Well, a family member who learned something. There you go. Someone said, not the asshole tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.
哇，我同意这点。我认为只要大家都乐意并且玩得开心，有些传统还是很棒的。但也有很多传统就是很奇怪。
Woah. I agree that. I think some traditions though are great in as long as everybody's down for it and having a good time. But, plenty are just weird.
很多传统之所以存在，仅仅是因为我们一直这么做。
Plenty are just existing because it's what we've always done.
是啊。而且，这种心态很不好。
Yeah. And, that's a bad mindset to have.
完全同意。没错，我绝对支持不断质疑这些传统。
Totally. Yeah. I definitely agree in questioning it constantly.
持续质疑。对。再说一次，这并不意味着...可能是你评估后觉得，嗯...
Constant. Just Yeah. And again, it doesn't It might be that you evaluate it and you're like, yeah.
对。这个...我们先放一放。没错。但至少你得有能力去质疑它。
Yeah. This Let's sleep it. Right. For sure. But, you gotta at least be able to question it.
绝对同意。是的，完全正确。评估一下...你们有什么有趣的家庭传统吗？
Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Assess. You guys have any like fun family traditions?
你提到了苹果蜂餐厅。
You mentioned Applebee's.
在二月份？那有点。
In February? That was a bit.
我相信。这可以成为一个传统。
I believe it. It can be a tradition.
我不认为鲍家曾一起踏进过苹果蜂餐厅。
I don't think the Bow family has ever stepped foot into an Applebee's together.
那是个传统。
That's a tradition.
那是个传统。我们永远不会去。
That's a tradition. We'll never go.
其实我挺难过的。我奶奶和我妈妈非常重视传统，但这些传统都是家庭聚会之类的。是的，更像是让我们保持家庭团聚，一起聊天玩耍之类的，我觉得这才是我能认同的传统，因为这种联系很容易疏远，然后就不再交谈，不再相聚。我奶奶长期以来有个传统，圣帕特里克节那天她家总会举办大型派对。
I'm actually sad. My my grandma my mom cares a lot about traditions, but the traditions are all like family get togethers. Yeah. It's more about just like let's keep the family together and like hang out and talk and stuff, and I'm like that's the tradition I can get behind because it's so easy for that to drift apart, and then then you're not talking, you're not getting together. My my grandma for the longest time, we had this tradition of just Saint Patrick's Day was just a big party at her house.
就像，嗯，你知道，我们是美国人，但我们还是有爱尔兰血统。所以这就是个疯狂的派对，到处都是绿色的装饰什么的。但其实这只是个聚会的借口而已。
It was just like, yeah, like, you know, we're American, but like we still are like, oh, but we're Irish heritage. So it's just this insane party where we just have green everywhere and stuff. But it was really just an excuse to get together and stuff.
我家也是。圣诞夜总是在爷爷奶奶家过，她会做饭还会烤饼干。就像是由她来传承所有传统，我们只需要来享受。但随着他们年纪大了，她就不想再做这些了。
That's my family's too. Christmas Eve it was always grandma grandpa's house, And she would cook and she'd make cookies. It was always like, it's kind of like her doing all the tradition. We just get to come and enjoy it, but Yeah. They got old and it was like she doesn't wanna do all this.
当然。有一天我们点了意大利外卖，然后发现，呃，这不太对劲
Sure. We're like one day we ordered Italian food and we had like Italian takeout and we were like, well, this isn't quite
一样。然后
the same. And then
我们就想，不如简化一下，大家聚在一起拆礼物、聊天，然后就散了。对。
we were just like, you know, let's just have let's scale it back and just have like a we come, we open gifts, we talk, we go. Yes.
对。
Yes.
我们家有些傻气的圣诞传统，比如打雪仗。不过只是在我哥哥家，用那些不知道什么材料做的软绵绵的假雪球。
We have some dumb ones like in my family for Christmas. We have a snowball fight, but it's just at my brother's house and we just have these like caught they're like little snowball like I don't know what they're made of, but they're just like these squishy like
是像豆袋椅那种？还是像踢沙包那种？
Like bean bags? Like hacky sacks?
豆袋椅。它们非常柔软，但我们其实只是在这个大房间里分开坐，然后大人们一边，孩子们一边。挺可爱的。这某种程度上是个借口，
Bean bags. They're very soft, but we truly just like all split up in this big room, and then it's all the adults versus all the kids. Cute. And so it's kind of an excuse for
让我们能强迫孩子们参与。对。
us to compel kids with Yeah.
真的很有趣。但现在孩子们长大了，他们开始赢了。而且他们的耐力简直无穷无尽。当然，我们累了就躺在地上，他们就用雪球砸我们。
It's really fun. But now the kids are getting older and they're now winning. And, their their endurance is just endless. Course. So, we get tired and then we end up just laying on the ground while they're just like hitting us with snowballs.
这消息太棒了。真的，我觉得这太酷了。
That's great news. Back. I'm like, That's awesome.
是啊，那种事情确实很有趣。
Yeah. Like, that that kind of stuff is fun.
没错。我也深有同感，你知道，对我来说，我们家的传统也是假期聚在一起，把这些当作我们不用工作的机会，就好好共度时光。我觉得对我来说，传统的困难在于它总伴随着各种期待。
Yeah. I I relate to you guys too that, you know, I think for me, my family also, our tradition is also just sort of gathering in the holidays, taking those as an opportunity of we have off work, so let's just spend that time together. I think for me too the difficulty with traditions is that it feels like it comes with expectations.
好的。
Sure.
感觉就像，我们必须重复之前做过的每一件事，否则就不够圆满。嗯。至少我是这么理解的，所以我觉得必须小心翼翼地对待这些仪式，正因如此我才用‘自愿参与’这个词。我觉得需要对传统保持高度热情，否则就可能演变成‘哦，这次不完美，不如去年，现在一点意思都没有’的情况。
It feels like, okay, we have to do everything that we did before, otherwise it's not fulfilling. Mhmm. At least that's the way that I interpret it, so I feel like I have to be very delicate with my rituals, and and that's why I use the word like this voluntary participation. I feel the need to be very excited about the tradition, otherwise it's it it could snowball into something that's like, oh, it's not perfect. It's not what we had last year, and now I'm not having any fun.
是啊，我觉得稍微放松点挺好的。真的。比如我和兄弟们每年都会去露营，但今年因为旅行安排太多就没成行。
Yeah. I think being a little lax on it Yeah. Is nice. Totally. Like, my brothers and I do a camping trip every year, and this year we just it didn't work like we were traveling too much.
就像，好吧，明年再说吧。这没什么大不了的。真的。我们可以重新安排。
It's like, alright, yeah. We'll do it next year. It's just like, it's not a big deal. Totally. We can get back on it.
对，没关系。就是带点小规划的聚会而已。
Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. It's just hanging out with a little bit of structure. Yeah.
如果能这么想就没事了。而且还能给自己多找些聚会的理由。
If you think about it like that, then it's fine. Yeah. And, it's like, oh, let's give ourselves an excuse to hang out more.
没错，这样很可爱。
Yes. That's cute.
好的。接下来讲个故事。今天我把事情搞砸了，因为我多年来一直忘记自己加入了亚马逊家庭共享计划。
Yeah. Alright. Our next story. So, today I fucked up. Today I fucked up by forgetting I was on an Amazon family plan for years.
糟了。我刚收到邮件通知，说被移出了亚马逊家庭共享计划。我完全忘了多年前姐姐和姐夫把我作为青少年加入他们的账户，就为了蹭他们的免费Prime会员。看到通知我立刻慌了，因为我在上面买过不少‘劲爆’商品，那些我可不想让他们知道自家小妹会买的东西。
Uh-oh. So, I just got an email notification stating that I was removed from my Amazon family plan. I completely forgot that years ago my sister and brother-in-law added me to their account as a teen so I could mooch free Prime from them. Upon seeing this I started getting a panic attack because I have made many spicy purchases on there. Things I know they don't want to know about their little sister.
我赶紧谷歌了一下他们是否有可能看到这些购买记录，结果白纸黑字写着：是的，如果你是家庭共享账户中的青少年成员，家长会收到购买通知并需要批准。我的天呐，我姐这些年批准了我的每一笔订单——普通的、可疑的、冲动的、甚至是赤裸裸的‘小玩具’，全部。而她从未对此提过只字片语。被移除前两天我刚下的最后一单，没错，又是那种让人脸红的商品。
I quickly googled to see if there's any chance they've been privy to these purchases and there plain as day it reads, yes, if you are a teen on an Amazon household account, your parents will be notified about your purchases because they need to approve them. My brethren in Christ, my sister has been approving every single purchase I've made for years. The mundane ones, the questionable ones, the impulse ones, the downright horny ones, everything. And she's never said one word about it this whole time. My last purchase made was two days before being notified via this email and yes, it was a horny purchase.
我担心她终于受够了知道我生活中这么多私密细节，决定终止共享。但也可能...只是巧合？我不敢问。说实话，我也不确定是否想知道真相。真是人生悲剧。
I'm afraid that she finally got fed up with knowing this many intimate details about my life and finally decided to end it. But, maybe just maybe it's a coincidence? I'm too afraid to ask. Honestly, I'm not sure that I want to know. FML.
好吧。
Okay.
呃。
Well.
我必须知道到底买了些什么。
I need to know what these purchases are.
确实。是的。我想我的意思是，有个好处在于这是姐妹关系，不一定是父母关系。
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm I'm There's a win that it's a sister, not necessarily mother father.
对，确实如此。
Right. True.
确实。我认为客观上这样稍微好一点。
True. I think that objectively is a little bit better.
是的，我也同意。
Yeah. Would agree.
我会...是的。只是太疯狂了
I would Yeah. Only too crazy about
这个。还是感觉就像，哦糟糕。我不知道有人在看这个。
this. Still like just as like, oh shit. I did not know anyone was seeing this.
是啊，这挺难的。
Yeah. Which is tough.
要说有什么的话，只是有点小尴尬，现在你得重新花钱开通Prime会员。
If anything it's just lightly embarrassing and now you have to spend money to get Prime again.
是的。是的。是的。
Yes. Yes. Yes.
我的直觉告诉我，这很可能是亚马逊把她踢出去的，因为我觉得
My instinct would say that it's probably Amazon kicking her off because I feel
就像我想象的那样，他们已经不再需要这个了。
like That's what I imagine is they outgrew it.
这类事情总是在想方设法坑人。每个月费用越来越高，然后突然告诉你，账户不能添加更多人了。
They These type of things are just always finding ways to like screw people over. It's more expensive every month, and then it's like, no, you can't have more people on your account.
是啊。如果她觉得不舒服，可能早就提出异议或者之前就不会批准那些购买了。
Yeah. If she was uncomfortable with it, she probably would have either said something or before not approved those purchases.
没错。我是说，既然你都同意买三次情趣玩具了，第四次又他妈算什么？同意。对。继续买。
Right. Mean, once you say yes to dildos three times, what's the fucking fourth? Yes. Yeah. Go.
你拿到了。拿着。得到它。我感觉搜索不会
You got it. Take it. Get it. I feel like it Search wouldn't
在亚马逊上，所以我很好奇。
that on Amazon, so I'm so curious.
我确定它在那里。好的。哦，好的。所以，不是我不知道为什么我一直在想看电影之类的。好吧。
I'm sure it's there. Okay. Oh, okay. So, it's not I I don't know why I'm thinking of just watching movies and stuff. Okay.
所以，她只是在买东西。
So, she's buying just items.
是的。
Yes.
我不知道为什么我脑子里想的都是买电影之类的，租借...我想我当时在想，哦，你是亚马逊Prime会员吗？不。看...她
I don't know why my head was just like buying like movies and stuff, renting I think I was thinking like, oh, you're Amazon Prime like No. Watching She's
采取行动。她在购买
taking action. She's buying
她是些东西。
she's things.
她拿到了一些会震动的东西。她拿到了一些东西
She's getting things that vibrate. She's getting things
哦，
Oh,
哇。那些会转的东西。东西。对。吸的。
wow. That go around stuff. Things. Yeah. Suctions.
哇哦。对。摩擦的。天哪。
Woah. Yeah. Rubs. Damn.
你还有什么？
What else you got?
我去了某个地方。
I went somewhere.
爱这个妹妹。就这样，嗯，好吧。拿着吧。收下吧。对。
Love the sister. Just going like, yeah, sure. Get it. Take it. Yeah.
正是这点让我觉得他们被赶出去了，而不是那种‘嗯’的情况。因为这就像是
That's what makes me think they got kicked off, and that it wasn't like Yeah. Because it's like
她点了什么太色情的东西？听起来她好像已经去过月球了
What did she order that was too horny? It sounds like she's already been to the moon
在里面。除非是最奇怪的‘嗯’。就像是
in that. Unless it was like the weirdest Yeah. It's like
就像是，看
It's like, look
如果你是种族主义者就买这本书。然后她买了。她真的买了。然后妹妹就，什么？不行。
Buy this book if you're racist. And she and she bought it. And she's like, bought. And then the sister's like, what? No.
现在也太我
Now it's too I'm
地球上每种情趣玩具都能接受，唯独这本种族主义手册不行。
fine with every dildo on Earth, but not the this is how to be racist book.
种族主义不行。这是我们的底线。
Not racism. That's where we draw the line.
评论区说，你姐姐真够意思。1.6万点赞。有人说，要是这能让你好受点。我把公开和精选的亚马逊愿望单给了男友，结果他分享给了妈妈和奶奶。他们买的东西我早忘了是什么时候加进愿望单的，因为亚马逊向他们展示了我私密的购物清单，里面全是各种情趣内衣和‘火辣’用品。
Comments, your sister's a real one. 16,000 upvotes. Someone says, it makes you feel any better. I gave my boyfriend my public and curated Amazon wish list, which he shared to his mom and grandma. They purchased things I completely forgot about adding to my wish list a long time ago because Amazon showed them my private shopping list with all sorts of lingerie and spicy appliances.
那是我们第一个圣诞节，发现这事时我简直无地自容。
It was our first Christmas and I was mortified when I found out.
‘火辣’用品？
Spicy appliances?
对，火辣用品。比如厨房别...
Yeah. Spicy appliances. Like kitchen don't
别把厨房料理机放那儿。或者放也行。放吧。
put a KitchenAid down there. Or do. Or do.
奶奶有个很棒的烤面包机。
Grandma's like, got a great toaster.
不。那个
No. The
可以说是个勇敢的小烤面包机。天啊。有人说可能是你姐夫一直在批准你的购物，保护你和你妹妹知道得太多。无论如何，有人值得感谢。LP说我觉得那更糟。
brave little toaster, one might say. God. Someone said perhaps it's your brother-in-law who's been approving your purchases and has protected you and your sister from knowing too much. Either way, someone deserves a thank you. LP said somehow I think that's even worse.
是啊，我觉得那更糟。我觉得他们两个都得知道。
Yeah. I think that's worse. I think both of them have to know.
我也这么认为。
I think so.
因为他们
Because they're
正在滚动浏览。他们在分享那个，对。
rolling through. They're sharing the yeah.
它买了这么多东西。
It's Buying so much stuff.
是啊，说起来容易做起来难，但如果真发生了这种情况，我觉得必须得谈一谈，你得诚实地说：听着，我之前不知道，真的很抱歉，感谢你批准了这些。比如，你们是不是把我踢出去了？这是亚马逊的问题吗？你得直面这个问题。
Yeah. Maybe it's easier said than done, but I just feel like if that happens, I feel like you have to have a conversation, and just you gotta you gotta just be honest and be like, Listen, I didn't know, and I'm really sorry, and I appreciate you approving them. Like, did you guys happen to kick me off? Is that just Amazon? Like, you gotta address it.
而且你知道的，我有多余的，如果你想借，我这儿有把砍刀给你。超爱用砍刀。
And, as you know, I have a surplus, so if you wanna borrow any I have a chopper for you. Love getting the chopper.
没错。她从她妹妹的窗户爬进去，因为她把所有假阳具都绑在了一起。天啊。卧槽，兄弟。
Yeah. Exactly. She climbs in through her sister's window because she tied all the dildos together. Oh my god. Holy shit, dude.
劲爆家电。劲爆家电。不能
Spicy appliances. Spicy appliances. Can't
摆脱这个。是啊。
shake that. Yeah.
哦，小心我的冰箱。你可以搞它。嗯。当然。
Oh, be careful with my fridge. You can fuck it. Yeah. Sure.
分享我的亚马逊购物记录。我最近买了些让人脸红的东西。哇哦。
Share my Amazon. I've been making horny purchases. Wow.
哇哦。好吧。这来自‘我是混蛋吗’板块。‘我是混蛋吗？因为我不让妈妈在我的婚礼上穿白色礼服，尽管她声称这是她最后一次’
Wow. Alright. This comes from am I the asshole. Am I the asshole for refusing to let my mom wear white to my wedding even though she claims it's her last
当然不该让她穿。哦，不。这太让人难过了。
course you shouldn't. Oh, no. That's so sad.
我从来没听过能让我觉得‘哦，也许可以’的理由。
I've never heard a reason where I was like, oh, maybe Yeah.
这是唯一能让你这么做的理由。你
That is the only reason you can knew do it. You
必须
had to
让她穿。
let her.
哦，也许你让她这么做的。靠。如果你在婚礼上看到一个妈妈穿白色礼服，你走过去说，女士，你得离开。她却说，这是我最后的机会了。
Oh, maybe you let her. Fuck. If you're at a wedding you see a mom wearing white and you go up and you're like, ma'am, you need to leave. She's like, this was my last chance
然后，你觉得很抱歉。对不起。我美极了。
And, to feel you're like, I'm so sorry. Sorry. I'm beautiful.
你刚把灰尘弄得到处都是，然后说，好吧，
You just turned the dust and like Well,
是时候看看她是不是个美女了。我们开始吧。
it's time to find out if she's a beautiful woman. Let's let's do it.
我刚满23岁，十月份就要结婚了。我和妈妈的关系一直不太好，尤其是订婚后。她变得异常好胜，对我的身材评头论足，比较我们的戒指，仿佛我们在比赛，还说些‘这一天对我同样重要’的话。我原以为她在开玩笑，直到她给我看她买的裙子——一件白色拖地长裙，看起来完全像婚纱。
I just turned 23 and I'm getting married in October. My mom and I have always had what I would refer to as a rocky relationship, especially since I got engaged. She's been oddly competitive commenting on my body, comparing our rings like we are in a competition saying things like, this day is as much about me as it is about you. I honestly thought she was joking until she showed me the dress she bought. A white floor length gown that looks exactly like a bridal dress.
我直截了当地告诉她不能穿那件，因为我觉得不合时宜。她沉默后突然哭起来，说这是她的机会，想在变老前感受美丽，而我不让她拥有这一点很自私。我很难过，于是提议陪她逛街找件更优雅得体的。她突然变脸，说我很控制人且不知感恩。让我欣慰的是未婚夫和伴娘都支持我。
And I told her flat out she cannot wear that because in my opinion it doesn't match the occasion. She got quiet then burst into tears saying it's her and this was an opportunity to feel beautiful before getting old and that I'm selfish for not letting her have this one thing. I felt really bad about this, so I also offered to go shopping with her to find something elegant and more appropriate. And all of a sudden her countenance changed and then she told me I was controlling and ungrateful. What gave me peace was that my fiance backed me up, as did my maid of honor.
现在妈妈威胁不来参加婚礼，姑姑说为了避免冲突就随她去吧。我觉得自己划清界限没错，但部分我开始怀疑自己是不是太混蛋了。
Now my mom is threatening not to come to the wedding and my aunt says I should just let her have this to avoid drama. I don't think I'm wrong for drawing a line here but now part of me wonders if I'm the asshole.
好吧，其实情况没我们最初想的那么糟糕。原来那位妈妈只是表现得像个
Alright. Well, it's not as pathetic as we thought initially. It turns out the mom's just being a
爱现鬼。
A pick me.
爱现。那位妈妈真差劲。
A pick. The mom is awful.
超级爱现鬼。
A huge pick me.
你是说
What do
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今天这日子跟我有什么关系？你什么意思？
you mean this day is just about as just about me as it is? You what?
趁我还没老，你可以既漂亮又优雅地老去。是啊，你在说什么呢？
Before I get old, you can be pretty beautiful and old. Yeah. What are talking about?
是啊，老兄，海伦·米伦啊，拜托。天哪，这
Yeah. Dude, Helen Helen Mirren. Come on, man. God, this
就是，老兄，你超爱海伦·米伦的。
is Dude, you love Helen Mirren.
好吧。海伦·米伦确实是无可争议的性感尤物。
Okay. Helen Mirren is objectively ridiculously hot.
伙计，我们现在在讨论妈妈辈的话题。
Dude, we're talking about moms right now.
噢天，我觉得她确实是。靠。
Oh, gosh. I think she is one. Shit.
而且她确实是。
And she is one.
我把话题带歪了。正是这样。
I made it worse. Exactly.
是啊。这位母亲不应该穿那条裙子。我虽然从未结过婚，也没策划过婚礼，但我知道这压力很大。我不知道在这种情况该怎么办——如果她非要穿那件衣服就不来参加婚礼，那我可能宁愿不让母亲来参加我的婚礼，如果她执意如此的话。
Yeah. The mom needs to not be wearing the dress. I don't I've never been wed, nor have I planned a wedding, but I'm aware that it's very stressful. I don't know what I would do in this situation where it's like, oh, then she won't come if she's gonna wear know, like, I'll have my mom not come to my wedding if she's Right.
没错。但然后
Right. But then
这就像是说，别在我的婚礼上穿白色，而她又不愿换掉那条裙子。她提出可以去购物。所以，这该怎么办？
it's also like, don't wear white to my wedding, and she doesn't wanna change the dress. She offered to go shopping. So, it's like, what do you do?
确实。不。这真是个无解的困境。想想确实。就像是啊。
Right. No. That's actually just such an impossible situation. Think Right. Like Yeah.
作为不了解这些人的旁观者，我们很容易会说'天啊，这位母亲'。但如果我们是当事人，如果我们是新娘，而你的母亲对你说出那些深刻又令人伤心的话，那真的太难了
From us not knowing these people it's so easy to be like, oh my god, this mom. But if we were that, if we were the bride, and that is your mom expressing those very deep and sad painful things to you, it's to be so hard
我认为可以尊重原帖作者处于矛盾中的立场。是啊。但我也觉得这是那种母亲会说'如果不能以我为中心我就不去参加婚礼'的情况。那就只能说'那你就别来了'，因为婚礼本来就不是关于你的。我觉得这清楚地表明她母亲甚至没有考虑她的感受。
I say can respect OP for being like in a conflicted place. Yeah. But, I also think these are those situations where the mom's like, well I'm not gonna go to the wedding if it can't be about me. Then it's like, well then you're not coming to the wedding, because it's not about you, factually. This is like, I think this is a clear indication that her mom is not even thinking about her.
她母亲就像在从她身上偷东西，榨取她的生命力。这种情况下我会觉得，如果你想和母亲断绝关系，我完全理解。因为她就像个寄生虫。她根本没有...是啊...真正为你着想。
Her mom is like stealing from her, like reaching the life from her. That is situations where I'm like, oh, if you wanted to cut your mom out of your life, I get it. Because she is being a parasite to you. She's not Yeah. Being there for you.
实际上她恰恰相反。
She's in fact the opposite.
我是说，如果这位母亲想要实现更持久的改变，那肯定不是通过借这场婚礼来逃避，你明白吗？
I mean, I think if there's if there's hope for a more permanent change for the mom, it's definitely not gonna be through escaping through this wedding, you know?
答案不在于满足她所有的要求。
It's not the answer is not in giving her everything she wants.
不，不。因为那样的话可能会变成，哦，我要生孩子了，然后母亲就觉得，这是
No. No. Because then it's maybe like, oh, I'm having a baby, and now the mom is like, it's
我的。对吧？你知道吗？还有一些故事，我不确定这里的情况，但可能有母亲不赞成同性婚礼之类的，这和现在的情况有点不同。于是孩子和他们的伴侣就说，好吧，如果你不赞成，那就算了。
mine. Right. You know? There's also been stories, I don't know here, but perhaps, where like a mom will not approve of like a gay wedding or something like that, which is a little way different than this. And so, the kids and their partner go like, well then you're not then, you know, if you don't approve, great.
我们无论如何都要办婚礼。对，对。然后随着婚礼临近，父母就会想，天啊，糟了。我想参加，我想...然后他们就改变了主意。
We're gonna have the wedding anyway. Yeah. Yeah. And then they go and and when it gets close to the wedding, the parents go, man, shit. I wanna be there, and I wanna and they change.
所以，也许需要的是这样：好啊，你不想换衣服？那你就别来参加婚礼。然后呢，随着日子临近，母亲就会想，但如果我不去就完全无法在场了，我不在场的话就没法让这一天围着我转了。
So, maybe what needs to happen is it's like, great. You don't wanna don't wanna change your outfit? You're not coming to the wedding. Then Yeah. As it approaches, the mom's like, but then I won't be there at all, and then I can't make the day about me if I'm not there.
好的。然后，哦，然后我会换件衣服，好好打扮一番，盛装出席。
Yeah. Then, oh, then I will change my dress, and I'll make a deal out of it, and I will show up.
她可能会有所觉悟。是的。我认为让我担心的还有你提到的那位阿姨，对吧？
She might have a realization. Yeah. I think what concerns me too is the the aunt you said, right?
她的...她的...那个...是在妈妈身上。对。
Her her The was on the mom Yeah.
我是说，让我担忧的是，这可能只是这位女士正在经历的一个阶段，而她姐姐只是想让她好受些。
I mean, that's what worries me that it is just something like that this this woman is just going through and and her sister is just trying to make her feel better.
但她...是啊。就是...
But she Yeah. That's
糟糕的建议。
terrible advice.
发帖人说她和妈妈的关系一直不太融洽。哦，自从她订婚后，妈妈就变得莫名爱攀比。不过阿姨暗示妈妈向来有点这样，就像，随她去吧。
OP says that her and her mom have always had a rocky relationship. Oh, since she got engaged. She's been oddly competitive, but still it's like the aunt is indicating that the mom has kind of always been a little bit this way where it's like, well just let her do her thing.
是啊。她对待妹妹的方式就是那样，随她去吧。
Yeah. She just deals with her sister by being like, that's her.
没错。当你那样做时，事情就永远不会改变。真的。如果那样做，事情就铁定不会改变。
Right. When you do that it just never changes. Right. It's guaranteed to never change if you do that.
你就那样做。所以，
You just do that. So,
你必须强行制止这种行为并希望它能改变，但可能不会。然后事情就落在
you have to put a hard stop to it and hope it changes, but it may not. And then it's in the
妈妈身上。但这表明她的行为是可以接受的，而实际上绝对不行。
mom's But it indicates that her behavior is acceptable, which it's absolutely not.
不。判决结果不是混蛋。评论说，现在我妈妈威胁不来参加婚礼。你母亲非常善于操纵。接受她的提议吧，你不是混蛋。
No. The verdict is not the asshole. Comments, now my mom is threatening not to come to the wedding. Your mother is extremely manipulative. Take her up on that offer, not the asshole.
有人说百分之百支持这个观点，原帖主不是混蛋。她只会另找方式让这一天变成她的舞台。她应该让这一天属于你。如果她不能让你闪耀，你就不需要她的闹剧。有人说，不是混蛋。
Someone said that 100 percent this, OP, not the asshole. She'll only find another way to make the day about her. She should be making the day about you. If she can't let you shine, you don't need her drama. Someone said, not the asshole.
这并非她最后一次展现美丽的机会。这是你的婚礼，不是她的葬礼。如果她女儿23岁结婚，她不可能那么老，她应该希望自己看起来美丽动人，而不是假装成新娘。人们会对此有不好的看法并议论纷纷，会拿她开玩笑说她渴望关注，或是想抢走新郎，把自己变成了哈维沙姆小姐。
This is not her last chance to be beautiful. This is your wedding, not her funeral. She can't be that old if her daughter is getting married at 23, and she should want to look beautiful, not like she's pretending to be the bride. People will think and say unflattering things about her. They'll joke at her expense that she's desperate for attention, or hoping to steal the groom that she's turned into miss Havisham.
这是查尔斯·狄更斯《远大前程》中的角色。她是个富有的老处女，住在破败的豪宅里，每天穿着婚纱，因为她在婚礼上被抛弃了。
This is a character from Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. She is a wealthy spinster who lives in a decrepit mansion and wears her wedding dress every day because she was jilted at the altar.
哈，这倒是个操纵操纵者的有趣方式。比如，哦，如果你像我一样穿白色，人们会嘲笑你的。是啊，难道你不想成为美丽动人的焦点吗？或许你该穿得像位体面女士，在婚礼上表现得正常些。
Well, that's a fun way to manipulate the manipulators. Be like, oh, well people are gonna make fun of you if you're dressed in white like me. Yeah. Don't you wanna be beautiful and the star of the show? Maybe you'd dress like a normal lady and be normal at the wedding.
穿绿色吧。
Wear green.
她们继续争执，她完全可以买件漂亮的礼服惊艳宾客——只要不是白色，穿什么颜色都像准备去领奥斯卡奖。原帖说：我不明白为什么母亲要抢走女儿的大喜日子。
They continue on, she can buy a beautiful formal dress and wow the guest looking like she's ready to pick up her Oscar in any color but white. OP said, I don't understand why a mother would want to steal her daughter's daughter's day. Day.
在我看来，这与其说是关于美丽和虚荣，不如说更像是特意想再次成为新娘。
It doesn't seem to me like it's about beauty and and vanity as much as it feels like it's specifically about being a bride again.
是啊。
Yeah.
准备戒指，需要穿白色礼服，而不是选择另一件非白色的漂亮礼服。
Preparing the rings, needing to wear a a white dress as opposed to, yeah, the alternate of just wearing another beautiful dress that isn't white.
她想要结婚。
She wants to be married.
她想要成为新娘，从心理层面看，这似乎是她反复强调的重点，让我觉得特别突出。
She wants to be she wants to be a bride in some way, like, it seems like, again, psychologically that's what it feels like it sticks out to me that that that is what she's harping on.
是啊。
Yeah.
不一定是觉得自己美，也许她只是在用其他词来填补，结果用词不当。所以，不是要断定她的处境，但我的意思是她需要单独处理这个问题。
Not necessarily feeling beautiful. Maybe she's just like filling in other words for it, and it's getting misplaced. So, not not to, you know, say that that is what she's going through, but my point is I think that she just needs to deal with that separately.
对。没错。对。对。对。
Yep. Right. Yep. Yep. Yep.
没错。对。通过心理治疗。绝对。什么？
Right. Yep. With therapy. Absolutely. What?
父母去看心理医生？我知道。难以置信。
A parent going to therapy? I know. Unbelievable.
接下来是我们的下一个故事。这也是一个‘今天我搞砸了’的故事。今天我搞砸了，因为我带我爸爸去了我的第一次开放麦表演。哇。不。
Moving on to our next story. This is also a today I fucked up. Today I fucked up by bringing my dad to my first open mic. Wow. No.
这段内容是在拍摄前一天发布的。
This was posted a day ago as of filming this.
这是昨天的事？
This was yesterday?
我们读到这段内容时，距离发布还不到24小时。
We are reading this less than twenty four hours after it's been posted.
所以，开放麦表演是昨晚的事。
So, the open mic was like last night.
是的。如果有人不知道单口喜剧中的开放麦是什么，那就是当你觉得‘哦，我能说单口喜剧’的时候。你会去这个开放麦，尝试你写的、从未在任何人面前说过的笑话。通常这是个抽签系统，所以你要去等大概两个半小时才会被叫上台，然后你有三分钟的时间。嗯。向一群喜剧演员讲你的笑话，他们要么在脑子里想着自己即将上台，要么因为自己的表演效果而恼火，要么在外面抽烟。而你...这简直就是个地狱景象。
Yeah. If anyone doesn't know what an open mic is in stand up comedy, it's when you're like, oh, I can do stand up comedy. I'm gonna go to this open mic and try jokes that I wrote and have never said in front of anyone ever before, and so and usually it's a lottery system, so you're gonna go and wait maybe like two and a half hours before you get called up and you have your three minute window Mhmm. To do your jokes to a bunch of comedians who are either in their head waiting to go up or pissed off at how their set went or outside smoking a cigarette, and you're and it's just it's just a hellscape.
如果我也能补充一点，现在你甚至要为表演时间付费了。
If I may add too, these days you also have to pay for your performance time.
是的。
Yes.
所以，你得付5美元才能表演五分钟。没错。而且那地方简直是个阴暗的地狱。
So, you have to put down $5 to go have five minutes. Right. And and it is truly just a dark hellhole.
带人去听好了，这仍然是个社交的好机会，也是测试你段子的最佳场所。除非你经常能上节目，偶尔可以偷偷塞一两个新段子进去，毕竟谁都不想直接在演出上试新梗。但带一个不想做脱口秀的人去开放麦，就像让他们坐在副驾驶然后开车冲下悬崖坠海。
And to bring someone Now listen, and that's still an opportunity to like network, and it is it is the best place to try your stuff out. Unless you get booked on shows often, you can sneak in one or two every once in a while, because you don't wanna do fresh stuff at a show. But, to bring someone who is not trying to get into stand up to an open mic, it's like you might as well have them in the passenger seat and drive off a cliff into the ocean.
千真万确。这对所有人来说都是种折磨。
Truly. This is a punishment on everybody's front.
是啊。哇哦。
Yes. Wow.
好吧。这话得在我们...之前说清楚
Okay. That just needed to be said before we We
对开放麦没什么特别的感觉。
don't have very many feelings about open mics.
是啊，没有，真没有。不过我态度很中立，就是比较随意。
Yeah. No. Don't have. I'm very neutral though. Just loosely.
圣诞皮纳皮纳
Santa Pina Pina
皮纳，对。
Pina Yeah.
好吧。我反反复复只听说过关于单口喜剧的事，比如开放麦之类的。简直像场噩梦。
Okay. Yeah. I have only heard this over and over again about about stand up, like open mics and stuff. It is like a nightmare
太糟糕了。
It sucks.
作为职业追求。
Career to pursue.
是啊。
Yeah.
我从没听人说过开放麦有什么好处。
I've never heard anyone say a good thing about open mic.
不，不。我做过一年单口喜剧，然后我说我讨厌这个。
No. No. I did stand up for a year and then I said I hate this.
嗯，有道理。这就是我们的故事。
Mhmm. That makes sense. And, that's our story.
好吧。
Alright.
好吧。说说你的故事。
Alright. Tell us yours.
我第一次去拜访住在全国另一端的父亲家时，听说几天后有个开放麦活动。这些年来我构思过一些单口喜剧段子，一直想试试看。我并不打算认真追求喜剧事业，但我喜欢逗人笑，觉得很有趣。过去几天我写了个五分钟的表演，今晚父亲带我去现场见真章。我们到得太早，坐在吧台是第一个错误，因为酒保说服我父亲买了那种高酒精度的潮人啤酒。
I'm visiting my dad's home across the country for the first time and I hear about an open mic coming up in a couple days. I've come up with a handful of stand up bits over the years and I always wanted to give it a try. I'm not seriously pursuing a career in comedy, but I love it and I have fun making people laugh. I spent the last few days writing a five minute set and tonight my dad took me to the venue for the moment of truth. We got there early and sat at the bar was the first mistake because the bartender talked my dad into buying one of those high alcohol hipster beers.
他也试图向我推销一个，但我告诉他他晚了十二年，最后我只点了杯青柠苏打水。我让我爸录下我的表演，好之后给女友看。于是我们在靠近舞台的桌子旁坐下，他开始摆弄手机寻找最佳拍摄角度。他摄影技术不错，所以对拍摄过程挑剔很正常。我是名单上第一个，难以置信。
He tried to sell me on one too, but I told him he asked me twelve years too late and got a seltzer with lime instead. I asked my dad to take video of my set so I could show my girlfriend later. So, we got settled at a table close to the stage, and he started fiddling with his phone to get the best shot. He's a decent photographer, so it's not unusual for him to be picky about this process. I was first on the sign Incredible.
于是，准备好手机录像似乎很合理，但主持人自己先讲了五分钟。然后她一个朋友接棒，还提到我爸录像的尴尬。他向喜剧演员保证没在录，手机只是在空拍。空拍。
Up So, it seemed rational to get the phone ready to record, but the host did five minutes herself. Then, one of her friends took a turn and mentioned the awkwardness of my dad recording. He assured the comedian that he wasn't recording. The phone was shooting blanks. Shooting blanks.
这引发了几轮尴尬玩笑，直到下个开场演员登台。这时，一个壮汉夸张地坐到我们面前的桌子，挡住我爸的手机。我立刻明白他是故意阻止我们录像。其实我爸已经开始录了，因为他觉得拍下我前面的表演作为开场不错，但他没领会暗示，只觉得前面的人不懂礼貌。
This led to a few more awkward jokes until another opening act took the stage. At this point, a large man dramatically sat down at the one table in front of us and blocked my dad's phone. I knew right away this guy did it on purpose to stop us from recording. By then my dad had actually started recording because he thought it would be a cool idea to get the act before me and give my act some prologue, but my dad didn't get the hint. He just thought the guy in front of us was inconsiderate.
他抱怨那人，我说：爸，他是故意的，并用手势让他冷静。那人转身和我爸吵起来，我爸大声反驳说他有权利录像。现在连喜剧演员也开始吼我爸。人群中有人喊：收起手机，只录你儿子冷场吧。
He complained about him and I said, dad, he's doing it on purpose, and made a motion with my hand for him to calm down. The guy turned around and started arguing with my dad who got loud back at him talking about how he has every right to record. Now, the comedian starts yelling at my dad too. Someone in the crowd yells out, put the phone away and only record your son bombing.
女神屁股。哦天。女神屁股戏码。
Goddess ass. Oh, god. Goddess ass action.
我们真是给太阳创造成功条件呢。
We're really setting the sun up for success here.
这时我起身告诉爸爸我们不如离开。现在没人会笑我的段子了。我想尝试单口喜剧十多年了，结果搞砸让我火大。我背熟了段子，确信能演好。好吧伙计。
At this point, I got up and told my dad we might as well leave. There's no way anyone is going to laugh at my jokes now. I've been wanting to try stand up for over a decade now, and I was pissed it all fell apart. I had the set memorized, and I knew I was gonna nail it. Okay, buddy.
我我 不。我从来没做过真正的单口喜剧表演。第一次表演不可能一鸣惊人，你肯定会搞砸的。
I I No. I've never done stand up, like a real stand up. There's no such thing as nailing your first you're gonna bomb.
没错。
Right.
你肯定会搞砸。
You're gonna bomb.
你肯定会搞砸。
You're gonna bomb.
你肯定会搞砸的，这没关系。
You're gonna bomb, and that's okay.
没关系。因为你必须经历这个。
That's okay. Because you're gotta.
事情就是这样。你会没事的 你第一次表演五分钟段子不可能做到完美无缺。
That's what's gonna happen. You be okay You're with gonna go do a five minute set for the first time ever and nail it.
而且，绝对不是在开放麦之夜。
And, certainly not in an open mic night.
而且不管你在哪个城市，总会有开放麦之夜。没错。明天就去。后天也会有。二月份的Applebee's餐厅，开放麦之夜。
And also, no matter what city you're in, there's an open mic night. Yep. Go tomorrow. Day after, there's gonna be one. Applebee's in February, open mic night.
对。带上三脚架。让老爸坐在后排。
Right. Bring a tripod. Let dad sit in the back.
哦，天啊。这家伙自信满满地说，我要第一次尝试，而且会表现得超棒，我老爸会录下来，我要给我女朋友看，所有人都会喜欢。我就想，老兄。好吧。行吧。
Oh, God. The confidence on this guy to be like, I'm going to try it for the first time, and it's gonna be so good that my dad's gonna record it, and I'm gonna show my girlfriend, and everybody's gonna love it. I'm like, man. Alright. Okay.
你就是。是啊。有趣。是啊。这让我想起历史上那些NFL突然说，哦，我们需要为球队举行公开选拔，然后人们就说，没错，我要去参加，我要入选球队。
You are. Yeah. Fun. Yeah. This reminds me of like when they're like the random times in history where the NFL is like, oh, we need to have open tryouts for teams, and people are like, yeah, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna make the team.
我就想，你会死得很惨。
I'm like, you're gonna die.
你会被你会被虐惨的。
You'll be You're gonna be murdered.
但是，你知道吗？我喜欢这种自信。你需要我
But, you know what? I love the confidence. You need to I
有爱这种自信。
have love the confidence.
你确实需要有点妄想
You do have to be delusional a
一点点。必须觉得，这很有趣。
little You to. Have to be like, this is funny stuff.
对。所以你能，你知道的，传达
Right. So can so you can, you know, deliver
没错。他很聪明地意识到继续下去没有意义，但我也知道他只想把这次当作一次性的激情项目。是的。但就像，反正可能没人会笑你的东西。
it right. He was smart to realize there's no point in going up, but also I know he just wanted to do this as a one time He wanted to do this as a passion project. Yes. But it's like, yeah. Nobody was probably gonna laugh at your stuff anyways.
所以，就这样？这就是故事？那就是
So, that's it? That's the story? That's That's
故事到这里就结束了。
that's where it ends.
哦，谢天谢地。
Oh, thank God.
他绝对应该去听。他喜欢喜剧。他花时间写了稿子。他应该去表演出来。就这么做。
He should definitely listen. He likes comedy. He wrote his he spent time. He should go and perform it. Do it.
对，明天就去。随便找个人...不想带父母就别带。反正现场总有人在录像。找人帮忙录就行。
Yes. Go tomorrow. And have have someone in the just don't bring your parent if you don't want to. Just people are there recording anyway. Just ask someone to record.
嗯。是啊。
Yeah. Yeah.
自己把手机架好。对，直接按录制键。
Set the phone up yourself. Yes. Just press the record button.
完全正确。直接录下你的表演就行。
Absolutely. And and just record your set.
是啊，就录下别人的段子吧。
Yeah. Just record other people's sets.
是啊，那位爸爸说'这是个序幕'也确实挺奇怪的。我不太明白。
Yeah. That definitely was also weird of the dad to be like, it's a prologue. I don't know.
要知道我们是在单口喜剧的场景里。我们不需要什么'我希望有个序幕'。我是用开场白在铺垫场景。我可不想看
Know we're in the setting of stand up comedy. We don't need a wide I wish I a prologue. I was setting the scene with an opener. I don't wanna watch
哦，天哪老天。哎呀，单口喜剧太残酷了，伙计。
Oh, my my God. Gosh. Oh, Stand up is so brutal, dude.
是啊。但这位贴心支持孩子的爸爸，你知道，他真的只是想在孩子身边支持他们。
Yeah. But but sweet supportive dad who who, you know, was was just really trying to be there for his kids.
这真的很难，因为我接触过很多单口喜剧演员，我在喜剧圈待了这么久，人们总觉得'哦，我很搞笑，我能逗朋友笑，我肯定能行'。但其实这是完全不同的领域。
It's really hard because I've been around stand up comedians, and I've been in comedy for so long that people think, oh, well I'm funny and I make my friends laugh. I'll nail this. I'm like, it's complete it's its own thing.
那是种独特的尴尬。独自站在台上。
It's its own awkward. Up there alone.
奇怪的是它自成一体，因为我们尝试过不要笑，或者我们只是站着。然后我就想，天啊。这就像一整套语言，是的，你必须
Weird how it's its own thing because we've done light try not to laugh or we're like, we just stand up. And, I'm like, oh, man. It's a whole like language that you Yes. Have to
而且，这在某种程度上是一种表演，你必须通过写作以特定的方式展现自己。你不能只是说，我有这些笑话，让我直接讲出来。
And, it's it's an act in a way that's like you have to present yourself in a specific way with your writing. You can't just be like, I got these jokes. Let me just say it.
对，对。
Right. Right.
我是说，除非这完全出于自然
I mean, unless it comes so naturally to
除非你像...我听过有人说，你必须每周表演，坚持十年才能开始掌握。是的，我听过好几次这种说法。
you. Unless you've doing it for like I've heard people be like, you have to perform weekly for ten years for it to start clicking. Yes. I've heard that like a few times.
因为对我来说也一样，我认为最好的单口喜剧演员是...你知道我也听过，我也短暂尝试过单口喜剧，关键完全在于观众。不一定是与观众互动，但每次上台都不能是'现在我开始表演'这样。必须像是'好，这是要接受这场特定表演的观众，我需要倾听他们。如果有人说了什么或观众中发生有趣的事，我必须能够随机应变。
Well, because for me too, the best stand ups I think are the ones that are just because you know what I've heard too, I also did stand up for a very short amount of time, and it's it's it's all about the crowd. Not necessarily crowd work, but every single time you get up there it cannot be, and now I start, and this is my act. It's gotta be like, okay, this is the audience that's going to receive this specific performance. I need to be listening to them. If somebody says something or something funny happens in the crowd, I need to be able to adapt.
我必须能够调整我的段子，就像从我的个人资料库中提取有趣的内容，而不是拘泥于笑话原本该怎么讲、该怎么表达。
I need to be able to shift my set and have funny things just like in my Rolodex of who I am, rather than like is how the joke is supposed to go, and this is how I'm supposed to say it.
对。
Right.
这真是个艰难的世界。
It's it's such a difficult difficult world
而且，但愿别这样，如果前一位表演者搞砸了，你就得接着上场，观众情绪低落，而你只能想，好吧，我得让他们喜欢我、信任我。
to And, God forbid, the person before you bombs, and then you have to come up, the audience is like upset, and you're like, okay. I have to get you to like me and trust me.
没错。
Right.
大概五分钟吧，我想我会用第一分钟来赢得你们的信任。
For five minutes, I guess I'll take the first minute to get you there.
确实。通常这意味着要提到你前面那位表演者，这真是个艰难的出场。
Exactly. And usually that means calling like like referencing the person who came before you too, and like just it's it's such a a tough Coming
带着满满的能量上场，说：嘿大家，好吧，让我们找点乐子。
in with all that energy being like, hey guys, alright. Yeah. Let's have some fun, you
知道吗？对，对。
know? Right. Right.
是啊。总之，我们可以一直聊这个。
Yeah. Anyway. We could talk about it forever.
是啊。我觉得我最大的——我唯一真正——我是说，那个爸爸角色太荒谬了，有点搞笑。但他表现得像是，哦，我得走了。现在没人会笑我的笑话了。我就想，你又不是因为别人会笑才这么做的。
Yeah. I think my biggest my my only real I mean, the dad is ridiculous, kind of hilarious. But, it's him being like, oh, need to leave. There's no way anyone's gonna laugh at my jokes now. I'm like, you're you're not doing it because people are gonna laugh.
你这么做是因为你想做，而且热爱。我觉得，你不必非要擅长某件事才能去做它。
You're doing it because you to do this and you love this. And, I think like, you shouldn't have to be good at something to to go and do it.
不，完全不必。
No. Not at all.
你只是想做并享受其中。
You just wanna wanna do it and enjoy it.
他应该去做。
He should do it.
我们只有几条评论，因为这条帖子太新了。有人说，至少你有视频可以给你女朋友看。还有人说，情况会变得更糟。这是其中的一部分。继续加油。
We just have a couple comments because this post is so new. Someone said, at least you have the video to show your girlfriend. And someone someone else said, it's gonna get way worse. That's part of it. Keep going.
没错。有人说，真倒霉兄弟，下次别带你爸换个地方试试。是啊。
Yep. Someone said, bummer dude, try it again without your dad and probably somewhere else. Yeah.
对。完全正确。是的。
Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
有无数个地点可选。
There's a million spots.
重点在于继续前进，重点在于换个地方，这不是失败，这不是终点，这不是你会撞上的障碍，懂吗。
Emphasis on the keep going, emphasis on the somewhere else, like, this isn't like a failure, this isn't a stop, this isn't You're gonna bump, know.
如果他真的投入进去，几年后如果他真的喜欢
This is something that if he actually got into it, and in a few years if he actually like
他其实可以
He could actually
这是一个关于他的故事，这是他的故事
This is a story he This is his
绝对同意。是的。
Absolutely. Yeah.
就像那样，你其实需要那些情境才能成为单口喜剧演员。完全正确。因为每个单口表演者都是在讲述他们生活中的尴尬故事。
Like that's You actually kind of need those situations to be a stand up. Absolutely. Because every stand up is just telling embarrassing stories from them their lives.
我特别喜欢的是他说自己并不一定要以此为职业。这更像是一种爱好。
What I really liked too was that he said he's not necessarily trying to pursue a career in it. It's just like a hobby.
只是为了好玩，
It's just for fun,
这样反而更好。你没有给它施加太多压力。随着时间的推移，你会逐渐放松下来。是的。
is even better. You're not placing that much pressure on it. It gets to be something that over time you'll loosen up with. Yeah.
希望他不要太灰心。
I hope he's not too discouraged.
是啊，我希望他能去完成这件事
Yeah. I hope he goes and does
这个嘛。好吧。
this Yeah. Alright.
我们的下一个故事来自‘我是混蛋吗？’板块：我告诉姐姐她并非总是天选之子，这样算混蛋吗？天选之子。
Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole? Am I the Asshole for telling my sister she wasn't always the chosen one? Chosen.
有意思。
Interesting.
有意思。等一下。
Interesting. Wait a minute.
你从来就不是天选之子。我才是。在我和兄弟们出生前，妈妈和前男友有个孩子叫佩妮。她的男友/佩妮的生父没有留下来。妈妈在佩妮三岁时遇到了我父亲并结婚。
You were never the chosen one. I was. Before my brothers and I were born, my mom had a child with an old boyfriend, Penny. Her boyfriend slash Penny's bio dad didn't stick around. My mom then met my dad when Penny was three and they got married.
我父亲收养了佩妮。之后妈妈和父亲生下了我和兄弟们。成长过程中，佩妮始终是父亲的掌上明珠。他对我们都有关注，但总会特意保持公平。大约在她进入青春期时，佩妮常开玩笑说：'爸爸是被迫接受你们，但他选择了我。'
My dad adopted Penny. My mom then went on to have me and my brothers with our dad. Growing up, Penny was always the apple of my dad's eye. He gave us all attention, but he always went out of his way to make it equal. Around the time she entered her teens, Penny would make the joke, dad was stuck with you guys, but he chose me.
或者自称天选之女。我的兄弟和父母总觉得这很滑稽，我却认为这很烦人。每当我们兄弟讨论从父亲那里继承或没继承哪些特质时，佩妮就会插嘴说：'除了姓氏我什么都没继承，因为我是天选之女'。如今我们都成年了，佩妮仍时不时搬出这套说辞。
Or refer to herself as the chosen one. My brothers and parents always thought it was hilarious. I thought it was obnoxious. If our brothers and I were ever discussing what traits we got slash didn't get from dad, Penny would break in with, I didn't get anything from him except his last name because I'm the chosen one. Now, we're all adults and Penny still trots that out from time to time.
最近一次是我们兄弟姐妹带着伴侣外出喝酒时。我有个兄弟的新女友还不了解佩妮的这套说辞。佩妮讲述时又强调自己是天选之女。我承认当时有点醉，说了句'是被我爸选中的，但你可没被你生父选中过'。天啊。
Recently, it came up when my siblings and I were out with our partners for drinks. One of my brothers has a newish girlfriend so she wasn't aware of Penny's story. Penny was telling it shoving in that she's the chosen one. I admit I was a little drunk and I said chosen by our dad but you weren't chosen by your first dad. Jesus.
操。老天。我的天。上帝。我居然把这话说出口了。
Fuck. God. Oh my god. God. Saying that out loud.
太疯狂了。
That's crazy.
好激烈。
So intense.
哦。噢。
Oh. Oh.
是以'哦'结束的。
It was it was done with Oh.
这就像
That's like
和佩妮结束了
Finished with Penny
那就像奥斯卡获奖电影里的高潮时刻，就像是，哦，你能对某人说的最糟糕的话。
That's on that like the peak moment in an Oscar winning movie where it's like, oh, the worst thing you can say to someone.
他一直抓着那个不放。
He was holding onto that.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
哎呀。哇。佩妮脸上露出了受伤的表情。我兄弟们都告诉我这话太过分了。连新女友看我的眼神都像在看个混蛋。
Oof. Wow. Penny got a hurt look on her face. My brothers told me that was uncalled for. Even the new girlfriend was looking at me like I was a douche.
我说这故事已经老掉牙了。我们都听过，而且有点荒谬。我男友最后叫了辆优步把我带走了。当然，这事传到了父母耳朵里，他们对我很生气，说我太粗鲁。我说是佩妮自己太讨人厌了。
I said this story is just getting old. We've all heard it and it's a little ridiculous. My boyfriend ended up calling us an Uber and getting me out of there. Well, of course, word's gotten back to our parents and they're pissed at me saying I was rude. I said Penny was just being obnoxious.
我是那个混蛋吗？好吧。对。对。对。
Am I the asshole? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
我觉得你就是。听着。我是不是也像那种情况，某些行为很讨厌，但你坐下来想想，这到底是从哪儿来的？
I think you are. Look. Do I It's also think like one of those things where it's like some behavior is obnoxious, but you sit and you think like, where is it coming from?
缺乏安全感。就是这个。
Insecurity. This one
我读到这个故事时，我完全明白这背后的原因。我就想，是啊。如果你和佩妮坐下来喝几杯，问她为什么总说那种话，然后深入追问。答案肯定是——因为我自己他妈都不知道我是谁。
I'm like, I read this story and I'm I know exactly where this is coming from. I'm like, yeah. I'm sure if you sat down and had some drinks with Penny and you asked her like, why do you say that all the time? And you really dug in. It's because it's like, well, yeah, because I don't know what the fuck my identity is.
因为我脑子里总有个声音在说我不配。
I've because got this thing in the back of my head telling me I'm not worthy.
我不属于这个家。
I'm not part of this family.
任何人跟她聊一会儿大概都能拼凑出这个结论。
Anyone could probably piece that together after talking to her for a second.
最多五分钟。因为这肯定很难做到
Five minutes max. Because that's gotta be so hard to
那种挥之不去的感受，比如，你另一个父亲抛弃了你，他走了。我不知道。你无法轻易释怀。我完全理解她原帖父亲的想法，像是，'哦，知道我们会有自己的亲生孩子，我不想让佩妮觉得她不是这个家的一员'。
have that lingering of like, yeah, your other dad bounced on you and he's gone. I don't know. You can't just move past that. I totally get where her OP's dad is coming from. Of like, oh, know that we're gonna have biological kids of our own, and I don't want Penny to think she's not part of the family.
所以，要格外明显地让她感受到自己是家庭的一部分，但这反而造成了这种奇怪的局面。不过原帖作者显然从小就习惯了，没有察觉，因为这一直是她生活的一部分。
So, go above and beyond clearly to make her feel part of the family, and it's created this weird thing, but OP has clearly grown up with it and not registered because it's just been part of her life her whole life.
没错。
Right.
所以，而且她...我不知道。从自己兄弟姐妹口中听到这种话也太难受了。
So and she I don't know. That's also such a rough thing to hear from your sibling.
是啊。那也多少暗示了你...
Yeah. That also kind of insinuates that your
原帖作者并没有觉得'哦，你是我的亲姐妹'。
that OP doesn't feel like, oh, you're my full sister.
没错。它不仅关闭了佩妮的对话功能，实际上是把佩妮整个关闭了。
Right. It didn't just shut down Penny's like dialogue. It actually just shut Penny down entirely.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
就像是，哦，实际上你不是我的兄弟姐妹。
It's like it's like, oh, actually you're not you're not my sibling.
嗯。
Yeah.
实际上。
Actually.
你所有的那些恐惧，它们都是真实的。
All those fears you have, they're real.
它们是真的。是的。
They're real. Yeah.
是的，我非常理解，你知道，这些兄弟姐妹自然也会有反应，毕竟他们拥有亲生父母的陪伴。听到这些，我只想说，反复听到她是‘被选中的人’，投入这么多努力确保她被接纳，可能在跷跷板的另一端，现在让这些兄弟姐妹觉得，我们也有特别之处，对吧？我们也是孩子，我们也是...
Yep. I I definitely do understand like, you know, there is naturally also going to be a reaction from these siblings that, you know, they do have both their biological parents in the picture, and hearing this, like, I just want to acknowledge, like, hearing over and over that she is the chosen one, that there is so much effort being put into making sure that she feels included, Maybe on the other end of that sort of seesaw, it's now made these siblings sort of feel like, well, there also is some specialness to us, right? Like, we're also children, and we're, you know
我能理解这种挫败感
I can see where the frustration
的来源。
comes from.
完全同意，百分之百。
Absolutely. A 100%.
我也觉得，父母在这件事上搞砸了，他们不该让这种情况
I'm also like, I think the parents fucked up in letting that
持续
Go on
这么久。
for so long.
确实。因为即便如此，这仍然将她孤立在外。就像是说，不。基础本应是
Absolutely. Because that it also though still isolates her. It's like, no. The the basis should
应该是，不。你们都是
have been like, no. You're all
孩子们。
the kids.
就像是，让我们说你们是孩子。那就是你们和他们没什么不同。你们都是孩子。但这样还是造成了这种奇怪的隔阂。
Like, let's You're kids. That's You're not different from them. You're all the kids. But, this makes it this weird separation still.
即使这是
Even if it's
即使这是一种积极的区隔，它仍然是一种。而且，
a even if it's a positive separation, it's still a And,
问题更多在于区隔本身，而非孰优孰劣。他们这是在过度补偿。是的。
the separation's more the problem than whether you're lesser or more. They're they're overcompensating. Yeah.
而现在的结果就是，这些兄弟姐妹们不知道如何在同一个层面上共处，这就是连带伤害。
And, reaction of that now, the the collateral damage is these siblings not knowing how to coexist on the same plane.
是啊。
Yeah.
在理想情况下，他们本应让佩妮坐下来好好谈谈，把问题拆解开来讨论，这样大家就能达成共识——我们毕竟是手足。但现实明显是佩妮独自处理自己的情绪，将其内化后可能用这种喜剧化的方式发泄出来，而其他兄弟姐妹则对她的发泄方式感到沮丧，于是背弃了她。此刻的冲突就这样爆发了，似乎酒精的介入让积压的情绪瞬间沸腾，说出了那些显然并非本意的话。这完全源于'我受够了你让我产生的感受，现在我要让你尝尝被贬低的滋味'这种心态。
And, yeah, I mean, in an ideal world, they would sit Penny down and be like, let's break this down, and let's talk about it so that we can all be on the same We're all siblings, but it's clear that right now there's just like Penny dealing with her own things, internalizing it, and letting it out sort of in this comedic way maybe, and then these siblings being frustrated at the way that she's letting it out, and so they're turning their back on her, and it's just this clash right now, and it seems like it just boiled into this one moment of alcohol getting involved and just saying something that clearly they did not actually mean. It was just from this place of I've been so frustrated at how you're making me feel, so now I'm going to make you feel like you're going down a peg.
确实。完全同意。
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
是啊。天啊。因为这些情绪迟早会爆发，而她被困扰了这么久。一开始只是小事，结果累积到这种程度。就像，一旦喝了酒，很可能...对吧。
Yeah. Oh, boy. Because these things come out every like, they are bound to come out, and she was bothered by it for so long. Started off small, and then like, just let it build to this point. It's like, well, if you drink it's gonna probably Right.
彻底失控了。但老天，那句话太残忍了。'被我们父亲选中，但你生父却不要你'，简直混账话。
Let loose. But man, that phrase was brutal. Chosen by our dad, but you weren't chosen by your first dad, It's like, fool.
没错。那真是
Yeah. That's a
你不必那样做。拜托。你只需要说，老兄，我受够了你总说自己是天选之人。停下。别说了
You don't have to do that. Come on. Like like all you had to do is be like, dude, I'm sick and tired of you saying you're the chosen. Stop. Stop
继续啊。
doing it.
求你了。就像，我们都这样。说说这让你有什么感受。
Please. Like, Like, we're all that. Say what how it makes you feel.
对。
Right.
别那样扔。你那边也有新搭档。是啊。就那样坐着
Don't throw like that You have new partners there too. Yeah. Just sitting there like
没错。你把这些家庭破事带进了和新搭档的工作环境里。
Yeah. You're bringing your family b s into the setting with these new partners.
是啊。而且我觉得最可悲的是，如果佩妮有这个秘密，或者说这是他们无意中触发或触及的某种心理创伤，那还情有可原。但这是他们明知故犯。他们早就知道她遭遇过非常非常痛苦的事，却有人利用这点在那一刻伤害她。
Yeah. It also feels like I I think the most tragic part of it, too, is, you know, if Penny had this sort of secret, I guess, or this was like a trauma that wasn't something that they were aware of that they had triggered or had tapped into. That would be one thing. But, this is something that they know. They already know that this very very hard thing happened to her, and this person used it to hurt her in that moment.
是啊。
Yeah.
那真是让人心碎。
That's that's really heartbreaking.
而且这是她无法控制的事，你懂吗？确实。判决结果是混蛋，但很多评论说这里每个人都糟糕，不算混蛋，所以有点混乱。评论啊，天杀的。是啊。
And it's something she can't help, you know? Exactly. The verdict is asshole, but there's a lot of comments saying everyone sucks here and not the asshole, so it's a bit all over. Comments, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah.
显然，你才是混蛋。佩妮的笑话可能烦人，但很明显她是在过度补偿，因为被遗弃会造成如此大的不安全感。如果你有正当问题，本可以私下讨论，而不是在家庭聚餐时扔炸弹。上千点赞。是啊。
Obviously, you're the asshole. Penny's joke might be annoying, but it's obvious she's overcompensating because being abandoned would cause such a big insecurity. If you had a legitimate issue, you could have discussed it privately, not drop a nuke in the middle of a family dinner. For Thousand up votes. Yeah.
有人说这里每个人都糟糕。佩妮多年来反复提的事确实烦人又幼稚，很可能源于不安全感。早就该有人和她谈谈这事，特别是你父母。你说的话既粗鲁又刻薄。佩妮无法控制生父不负责，这不是她的错。
Someone said everyone sucks here. What Penny has been throwing around for years is annoying and childish, and it likely stems from insecurity. Someone should have addressed this with her long ago, namely your parents. What you said was rude and a low blow. Penny can't help that her bio dad didn't stick around and that isn't her fault.
是啊。是吗？我...是啊。我们可以争论什么更恶劣、什么算讨厌、什么算粗鲁之类的。但说到底，他们有些事必须得谈清楚。
Yeah. Yeah? I I Yeah. We can argue about what what makes someone What's a worse thing and what's like what counts as obnoxious and what counts as rude and whatever. It's like, the end of the day they have shit they gotta talk about.
对。就像是
Right. It's like
别当着他们伴侣的面说。
Not in front of their partners.
是啊，别在苹果蜂餐厅说。最后有人说，不算混蛋。有时候兄弟姐妹之间需要直言不讳。说实话，作为有三个弟弟妹妹的人，如果我说这种话，我会预料到他们会生气并反驳我，但如果这种情况持续不断，那确实需要有人点破。
Yeah. Not at Applebee's. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. Sometimes siblings need to be blunt. Honestly, as someone with three younger siblings, if I ever said this I'd expect them to get mad at me and say something, but for it to be constant, yeah, it had to be said.
我不知道。
I don't know.
具体说了什么可以有很多种可能，本来可以用其他许多方式表达的。
What was said can range, like, could have said so many other things.
完全同意。没错。但是，把这些词组合在一起，那个'不'字。
Absolutely. Right. But, those words together, the no.
是啊，不行。我同意。有些话可以在更合适的场合、更恰当的时机说。确实。
Yeah. No. I agree. Something can be said in a better place, in a better time. Yes.
而且，表达方式完全可以更得体些。
And, the phrasing can be so much better.
完全同意。完全同意。这种成熟的对话方式，我理解兄弟姐妹之间可以进行那些父母与子女之间可能没有空间展开的谈话，但处理这些真实创伤时，必须保持极其亲密和谨慎的态度。
Totally. Totally. That kind of mature conversation also, I understand that siblings can can have talks that maybe parent to sibling or parent to child maybe doesn't have the space for, but it has to be, again, incredibly intimate and delicate when you're dealing with these very real traumas.
是啊。
Yeah.
你几乎需要接受专业训练。
You need to almost be trained.
没错。绝对是这样。我的意思是，这需要专业的心理治疗。这也让我想到，我个人非常不认同人们那种想要羞辱他人的欲望。就像，'哦，我讨厌你，你真烦人'之类的，然后就想找句狠话来彻底击垮对方？
Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, that's therapy that's needed there. It also makes me think there's I am someone who very personally disagrees with this desire for people to dunk on other people. It's like, oh, well I hate you, you're annoying, all this stuff, so what's the thing I can say that's just a fucking slam?
对。而且，这
Right. And, it's
就像，是啊，你羞辱了他们。你做到了。你赢了。恭喜。这对解决问题有帮助吗？
like, yeah, you're humiliating them. You got it. You won. Congrats. Did it help anything?
没有。你觉得这能帮到他们吗？你觉得这能帮到你自己，还是只会让一切变得更糟？因为...是啊。我在网上看到太多这种事了，就像'你彻底打败了他们'，然后不知怎么的，情况反而更糟糕了。
No. Do you think it's gonna help them? Do you think it's gonna help you, or is it just gonna make everything worse? Because like Yeah. I see it so much online of just like, yeah, you fucking got them, and it's like, and now somehow things are worse.
比如，裂痕更大了，恭喜啊。嗯哼。嗯哼。你觉得很酷是吧。
Like, the rift is bigger, like, congrats. Mhmm. Mhmm. You feel cool.
这就是全部吗？对。我们也讨论过这种模式，对吧？在很多Reddit故事里，一开始都是'所有人都很糟糕'，因为起初是某人在做烦人、恼火、恶劣的事，但后来有人更胜一筹，或者他们认为既然别人先惹人厌，自己就有理由变本加厉。
What's that all it is? Yeah. We've talked about this pattern too, right? In lots of Reddit stories, it's like initially, that's why we get everyone sucks, is initially somebody is doing the annoying, frustrating, bad thing, but then somebody else tops it Or they think because they've been annoying or frustrating or bad, they have now a pass to to be bad. Right.
变得更恶劣。
To be badder.
是啊。但我个人不同意这种观点。我觉得，是的，你对某事感到恼火，你有权处理，但应该用能修复关系的方式来解决。
Yeah. And, I just personally disagree with that. I'm like, you know, yes, you're annoyed by something, you're allowed to address that, but go about it in a way that's gonna like heal things.
没错。试着让局面比你介入时更好。完全同意。
Yeah. Try and leave the situation better than you Totally.
完全同意。
Totally.
你们爱看Smosh节目。我爱在Smosh工作，所以Smosh与三星TV+合作了。嗨，我是Tommy，Smosh的常驻成员，有个好消息：三星TV+有直播频道和点播影视剧，现在我们也加入其中啦。
You love watching Smosh. I love being at Smosh, is why Smosh partnered with Samsung TV plus Hi. You know me. I'm Tommy, a cast member here at Smosh, and I've got good news. Samsung TV plus has live TV channels and on demand movies and shows, and now we're a part of it.
想知道怎么看Smosh？如果你有三星设备，那已经自带观看渠道了。只需打开三星TV plus应用就能观看。我们有你最爱的《厨艺犯罪》《Reddit故事》《比特城市》《Smosh脱口秀》等节目。现在你可以全天候和我们一起消遣了。
Curious on how to watch Smosh? Well, if you've got a Samsung device, then you already have it. Just open the Samsung TV plus app and start watching. We've got your favorite episodes from culinary crimes, Reddit stories, Bit City, SmoshMouth, and more. And now you can hang out with us all hours of the day.
在三星TV plus上免费观看Smosh。
Check out Smosh for free on Samsung TV plus.
好吧。我们的最后一个故事。今天我搞砸了，把我丧偶的父亲介绍给我丈夫的单亲妈妈认识。
Alright. Our final story. Today I fucked up by introducing my widower dad to my husband's single mom.
哦，真的假的。
Oh, word.
而且现在是圣诞节期间。哦对了，我们住在这个可爱的小镇上。
And it's Christmas time. Oh. And we live in this sweet little town.
我们要去
And we're going
他是王子。
he's prince.
哎呀，听起来不幸的是他就是爸爸。
Uh-oh. And unfortunately it sounds like he's daddy.
哦，好吧，我们需要一些照片来确认这一点。好的。
Oh. Well, we need some photos to confirm this. Okay.
今天没发生什么特别的事。我和丈夫结婚已经五年半了。我丈夫由单亲妈妈抚养长大，而我母亲在我16岁时去世，所以我们婚礼上各自只有一位家长出席。我们的父母在婚礼筹备期间相识，很快发现彼此有很多共同点，相处得非常融洽。几杯酒下肚后，他们在婚宴上一起跳了舞。
Obligatory didn't happen today. My husband and I have been married for five and a half years now. My husband was raised by a single mom and my mom passed when I was 16, so each of us only had one parent at the wedding. Our parents met during the wedding planning and quickly discovered how much they had in common and how well they got along. After a few too many glasses of wine, they danced together at the wedding reception.
我们注意到他们之间有些暧昧，但没太在意，直到婚礼后他们开始定期约会。一起出去喝酒、散步、钓鱼。虽然我们的父母先是暧昧后是正式交往这件事对我们来说有点奇怪，但我们真的不在意，因为他们看起来非常幸福。昨天，我丈夫牵着他母亲走过红毯，在圣坛前与我父亲相会。
We noticed a little bit of flirtation between them, but didn't think much of it until they started seeing each other regularly after the wedding. Going out together for drinks, going on walks together, going fishing together. Even though it was a little weird for us that our parents were ambiguously and later officially dating each other. We truly didn't care because they just seemed so happy. Yesterday, my husband walked his mom down the aisle to meet my dad at the altar.
我丈夫的母亲和我父亲交换了誓言，结为夫妻，而我和丈夫则成了继兄妹。
My husband's mom and my dad said their vows and became husband and wife, and my husband and I became stepsiblings.
你在开玩笑吧。你在开玩笑。这太...但同时，
You're kidding. You're kidding. That's But also,
随便啦。是啊。我想是吧。这很有趣，因为说到传统，这一切的法律框架让人觉得奇怪。而且这也只是...
whatever. Yeah. I guess. It's so funny because because talking about tradition, it's like, oh, this just all the legal parameters of this is that it's like weird. It and it's also just
但这既甜蜜又古怪。就是很奇怪。太奇怪了。我们得坐在这儿面对这一切。天哪。
but it's also sweet, but it's also odd. It's just odd. It's odd. We gotta sit here and deal with this. Holy shit.
我很高兴原帖作者能接受这件事。
I'm so glad OP is cool with it.
是啊。他们简直在哈哈大笑。
Yeah. They're they're like LOL.
没错。希望他们的父母开心。
Yeah. Want their parents to be happy.
他们全程都在笑。
They're LOL ing through this.
正是如此。
Exactly.
哦，我的天啊。
Oh, my God.
哇哦。
That's wow.
那是个真人秀。
That's a reality show.
牧师说，我不知道上帝怎么想这个，但是嘿。嘿。太疯狂了。太野了。
The priest is like, I don't know what God thinks of this, but hey. Hey. That's crazy. That's wild.
你会叫你妻子的爸爸
Would you call your wife's dad
爸爸？爸爸？不。
Daddy? Daddy? No.
不。你 不。不。你会叫他爸爸吗？
No. You No. No. Would you call him dad?
我不认为你有
Don't I think you have
我想改变
to I change think
他们可以创造自己的新事物。
they get to make their own new thing.
是啊。哦，是啊。因为这是嘿，伙计们。
Yeah. Oh, Yeah. Because this is Hey, guys.
这是一个全新的事物。这是
This is a brand new thing. This is
一个全新的事物。你现在可以做任何你想做的事了。
a brand new thing. You can do whatever you want now.
世界正在改变。
The world is changing.
这完全是新事物。哇。
This is a whole new thing. Wow.
你知道，这混合物里可没有血这种东西。
You know, there's no like blood in the mix.
混合物里没有血？只是...只是...只是爱而已。
There's no blood in the mix? It's just it's just it's just it's love.
爱就是爱。
Love is love.
而且，爱就是爱。事情本来就是它本来的样子。我是说...这就是唯一的回应
And, love is love. It all just is what it is. I mean That's that's the only response
只能这样看待这件事。
only take on this.
我本来很想去参加那场婚礼的。
I would have loved to go to that wedding.
所以，我们收到了一些评论。从好的方面看，这确实简化了节日期间他们该见哪边家人的问题。
So, we got some comments. On the bright side, it definitely simplifies whose family they see for the holidays.
不错。有人说
Nice. Someone said
这算是半杯
That's some glass half
满的。有人说，你觉得这很尴尬？等他们宣布你即将有个弟弟/
full. Got Someone said, you think this is awkward? Just wait until they announce they're expecting your little brother slash
妹妹的时候再说吧。对。
sister. Right.
好吧。对。
Okay. Right.
我就知道。早料到了。好吧。
I knew it. Knew it. Okay.
所以，楼主说，我丈夫自从婚礼后就一直开玩笑地叫我继妹。
So, OP said, my husband has been jokingly calling me stepsis since the wedding.
现在，'那个'是我最喜欢的昵称。
Now, that Which is my favorite nickname.
有人说，家谱会变成椭圆形。没错。
Someone said, family tree becomes an oval. Right.
我就是这么...我就是...对。
That's what I was That's what I Yeah.
太疯狂了。有更新吗？
That's wild. Is there an update?
没有更新。
There's no update.
整集都没有更新？我很抱歉。
No updates this entire episode? I'm sorry.
我正冲你大喊，就像这不是你选的一样。
I'm yelling at you like you didn't choose.
我不
I don't
选他们。该死。
choose them. Damn.
哇。这些是
Wow. These ones were
很不错。相当有趣的一批。
was good. Quite a fun batch.
这些很好。
These were good.
我们都还在震惊中，就像，
We're all still in shock at that like,
坦白说，我们今天读了很多故事，我在想，伙计，我在思考，我不确定重看这集时是否还会认同自己此刻的所有感受。
are read being full disclosure, we read a lot of stories today where I'm like, man, I'm like thinking about it, and I'm like, I don't know if I'll agree with everything I feel about it when I rewatch this episode.
嗯。嗯。
Mhmm. Mhmm.
你知道吗？因为我就觉得，哦，有太多事情要考虑了。
You know? Because I'm just like, oh, there's so much to think about.
其实我刚才就在想上一个故事。我觉得我们几乎都是本能地给出了轻松的回答，因为每个人都很开心。感觉我们并不需要非得解决什么问题。是的，就是那种‘事情就是这样，我们都很支持’，所以很自然地就觉得‘只要大家都开心就好’。
I was just thinking that with the last story actually. I feel like it was almost an easy response from all of us because everybody was happy. It didn't feel like we necessarily needed to resolve anything. Yeah. It was just like, this is what's happening and we've all been supportive, and so we are kind of naturally like, good if everybody's happy.
对。但是，如果问题更像是‘我们该怎么办？要允许这场婚礼举行吗？’那样提出来呢？
Right. But, what if it was presented more as like, what do we do? Do we let this wedding happen?
这个节目每集都不可避免会发生的是，我会看到一条评论指出某个我根本没注意到的句子，或者他们会说，
What inevitably happens with every episode of this show is I will see a comment that points out just a sentence that I kind of didn't pay attention to, or they'll just like,
嗯，想想这个方面，
well think about this aspect,
然后我就觉得，哦，这完全改变了我对整个事情的看法。绝对是这样。所以，其实这些只是我最初的想法，但
and I'm like, oh, that changed my entire view of the whole Absolutely. So, don't really These are my initial thoughts, but
我们正通过摄像头即时回应，尽力表达所思所感，是的。
We're responding in the moment with cameras. We're trying our best to say what we think and feel, and Yeah.
哦，是的。
Oh. Yeah.
很多时候我真希望能重来一遍，不是要改变内容，而是调整表达方式。就像那个人对佩妮说的那样。没错。
So many times I wish I could have retaken take. Not that I would just how I say it. Sure. Kinda like how that person told Penny. Yeah.
就像你本可以说得更好或换个说法。是啊，是啊。但我没时间那么做。
It's like you could say it better or differently. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't have the time to do that.
幸运的是，我觉得直觉比佩妮的兄弟姐妹稍微强些。
Luckily, instincts I think are a little bit better than Penny's sibling.
是的，我想是的。他们做得很好，谢谢你们两位的到来，这次非常愉快。
Yeah. I think Yeah. They're doing Well, thank you both for being here. This was so much fun.
我们是一家人。
We're family.
是的，我们是一家人。
Yeah. We're family.
家人。家人。家人。
Family. Family. Family.
感谢收看。请在下方评论区告诉我们你对这些故事的看法，以及你希望我们在节目中探讨的其他主题和子版块。下周六见。再见。
You for watching. Let us know your thoughts on all of these stories down below, and let us know what other themes and subreddits you want us to cover on this show. And we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye.
再见，萨姆。再见，伙计。
Bye, Sam. Bye, buddy.
再见，家人们。再见，老爸。
Bye, fam. Bye, daddy.
哇哦。你喜欢这样吗？你喜欢这样吗？
Woah. Did you like that? Did you like that?
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