378 | 如何在工作中培养坚如磐石的自信（无论情绪高低起伏）

我们的信心是在第二阶段建立的，当事情变得不一致，我们经历着情感上的剧烈波动，在一次会议中既有巅峰也有低谷。在这些时刻，当我们加倍努力并对自己说‘没问题，我是个厉害角色。这虽然情感上很难，但我能搞定。’如果我们能在这些时刻达到那种状态，那将创造出伴随我们一生的信心。

Our confidence is created in phase two when things are inconsistent and we're experiencing emotional whiplash and we've got the highest highs and the lowest lows happening within the span of a single meeting. In those moments when we double down and say to ourselves, no problem. I'm a badass. This is emotionally hard, but I've got this. If we are able to get to that place in those moments, that is what is going to create the confidence that stays with us for a lifetime.

欢迎来到《勇敢发声的艺术》，这是一档帮助职业女性发掘内在无限潜力的播客。我是主持人杰西卡·古兹克，我的使命是帮助你找到内心那股火花，它能以你未曾想过的方式改变你的职业生涯。很高兴你来到这里。现在，节目开始。欢迎收听本播客。

Welcome to the art of speaking up, a podcast that helps professional women access the limitless potential that lies within them. I'm your host, Jessica Guzik, and my mission is to help you find that spark inside you that has the power to transform your career in ways you may not have thought possible. I'm so excited that you're here. And now, on to the show. Welcome to the podcast.

我对今天的节目感到非常兴奋。如果你一直在为自信的起伏而挣扎，并且感觉一旦置身于高压或困难情境中，之前感受到的自信就会突然消失，那么今天的节目就是为你准备的。今天，我将教你一个我称之为‘一致性与不一致性循环’的概念。这是我们学习新技能或提升自我时必经的循环。当我们不理解这个循环时，往往会在不知不觉中自我破坏进步。

I am so excited about today's episode. If you have been struggling with ups and downs in your confidence, and if it feels like as soon as you put yourself in a high pressure or difficult situation, the confidence that you had been feeling previously has all of a sudden disappeared, then today's episode is for you. Today, I'm going to be teaching you something that I like to call the consistency inconsistency cycle. This is a cycle that we go through anytime we are trying to learn a new skill or uplevel ourselves in any sort of way. When we don't understand the consistency inconsistency cycle, we tend to self sabotage our progress without even realizing that's what's happening.

但当我们理解了这个循环，就拥有了实现建立深层信心目标所需的智慧和视角。今天，我将教你什么是一致性与不一致性循环，如何确保它不会破坏你建立持久信心的努力，以及如何利用它来实现你所追求的更深层次转变。首先，我们将一起学习什么是一致性与不一致性循环。这是一个三阶段的循环，最好的解释方式是通过一个体育比喻。假设你是一个毫无运动细胞的人。

But when we do understand this cycle, we have the wisdom and perspective that we need to follow through on our goal of building deep confidence. So today, what I'm going to be doing is I'm going to be teaching you what the consistency inconsistency cycle is, how to make sure it doesn't sabotage your efforts to build lasting confidence, and how you can leverage it to achieve that deeper transformation that you are after. So the first thing that we're gonna learn together is what is the consistency inconsistency cycle? So the consistency inconsistency cycle is a three phase cycle, and the best way for me to teach you the three phases of the cycle is through a sports metaphor. So we're going to imagine that you are someone who is not athletic at all.

你从未碰过球或参与过任何运动，现在想学习如何投篮。当你第一次拿起篮球时，你甚至不知道该怎么握球，更不用说投进篮筐了。所以刚开始投篮时，你几乎会全部投失。这是因为你处于一致性与不一致性循环的第一阶段，我称之为‘持续糟糕阶段’。

You've never picked up a ball or played a sport in your life, and you want to learn how to shoot basketball free throws. So when you first pick up the ball, you've never even held a basketball. You have no idea how to throw it or get it in the basket. So when you get started shooting those free throws, you are going to miss almost all of them. This is because you are in the first phase of the consistency inconsistency cycle, which I call the consistently bad phase.

当我说‘持续糟糕’时，并不是指你这个人不好或有问题。只是你还没有掌握投篮技巧。所以当你投球时，我们知道结果——很可能进不了篮筐。现在假设你开始练习投篮，随着训练，你逐渐能将球投进篮筐。

Now when I say consistently bad, I don't mean that you are bad or something is wrong with you. It's just that you haven't at all developed the skill of shooting a free throw. So when you toss the ball, we know what's gonna happen. It's probably not gonna make it into the basket. Now let's assume that you work on your free throw, and as you're practicing, you begin getting the ball into the basket.

虽然并非每次投篮都能命中，但你确实开始进球了，这让你感到非常兴奋。如果你开始进球，说明你已经走出了循环的第一阶段——持续糟糕阶段，现在进入了第二阶段，我称之为‘不一致性阶段’。尽管‘不一致性’这个词有时带有负面含义，但在这里，不一致性比一致性更好。因为当你处于一致性时，是持续糟糕的状态——持续无法进球。

You don't get it into the basket every single time you shoot, but you're actually starting to get it in, and that's feeling really exciting to you. If you're starting to get the ball into the basket, you have moved out of the first phase of the cycle where you were consistently bad, and now you're in the second phase of the cycle, which I call inconsistency. Now even though the word inconsistency can sometimes have a negative connotation, in this specific instance, inconsistency is better than consistency. Because when you were consistent, you were consistently bad. You were consistently not getting the ball in the basket.

既然你现在表现不稳定，有时能把球投进篮筐，有时又会投失，但这相比第一阶段已是整体进步。当我们进入不稳定阶段并开始投进一些罚球时，就标志着我们为成长和练习付出的努力终于开始见效。现在这个循环还有最后一个阶段。想象你继续练习罚球，经过大量重复训练后，现在几乎每次出手都能命中。你已成为罚球大师，正式进入了'稳定-不稳定循环'的第三也是最终阶段——稳定优秀阶段。

Now that you're inconsistent, you are sometimes getting the ball in the basket, sometimes missing the basket, but this is an overall improvement from phase one. And when we enter into the inconsistency phase and we start making some of those free throws, it's a signal that the work we've been doing to grow and practice is beginning to finally pay off. Now there's one more phase of the cycle. So I want you to imagine that you continue practicing your free throws, and you've put in so many reps, and you've spent so much time practicing that you now get the ball in the basket nearly every single time you throw the ball. You have become a master of free throws, and you have officially transitioned into the third and final phase of the consistency inconsistency cycle, which is the phase where you are consistently good.

换句话说，你不再表现不稳定，不再疑惑这次投篮会进还是弹框而出。你现在确信每次罚球都能命中。快速回顾这个循环的三个阶段：最初是稳定糟糕阶段，成功率为零；然后进入不稳定阶段。

In other words, it's no longer inconsistent, and you're no longer wondering, am I gonna get the ball in the basket or am I gonna bounce it off of the rim? You now know every time I shoot a free throw, I get the ball in the basket. So to quickly recap the three phases of the consistency, inconsistency cycle, We start off consistently bad. This is where our success rate is zero. Then we move into inconsistency.

这个阶段成功率突破零，但尚未达到100%。第三最终阶段是稳定优秀阶段，这时成功率会无限接近100%。这个三阶段循环不仅适用于运动学习，也适用于你正在进行的任何自我提升项目——无论是更有效表达、更自信沟通，还是在会议中展现领导力，这个循环都适用于你的成长过程。

This is where our success rate rises above zero, but it hasn't quite hit 100%. And then the third and final phase is where we're consistently good, and this is where our success rate starts to inch very close to 100%. Now this three phase cycle doesn't just apply to learning a sport and shooting hoops. It applies to any self improvement venture that you are embarking on. Whether you are trying to speak more effectively, communicate with more confidence, act as more of a leader in the room, this cycle will apply to your growth process.

关于这个循环的关键在于：虽然理性上很容易理解，但情感上却很难顺利度过。这正是本期节目要深入探讨的。当我们经历这个循环，特别是进入不稳定阶段时，情绪容易产生波动，自我破坏或放弃重要目标的风险会越来越高。这正是我看到阻碍人们在职场建立自信的首要原因——并非他们缺乏内在能力。

Now the thing about the consistency inconsistency cycle is that while it's very easy to understand it intellectually, it can be quite challenging to move through it emotionally. And that's what I want to dig deeper into in today's episode. As we are moving through the consistency inconsistency cycle, particularly as we enter into the inconsistency phase, things can start to get emotionally volatile, and the risk of us self sabotaging or giving up on the goals and dreams that matter most to us gets higher and higher. And this is the number one thing that I see getting in the way of people developing the confidence that they want to have in the workplace. It's not that they don't have the capability deep within them to do it.

而是他们被困在循环的中间阶段，没有坚持足够长时间来获得期望的结果和改变。因此在节目剩余时间里，我将带大家探讨三个宏观主题：首先讲解成功抵达循环最终阶段需要的基础要点；然后分析人们在这个循环中常犯的自我破坏错误；最后讨论当你完成蜕变达到稳定状态时的体验。

It's that they get stuck in the middle of the consistency inconsistency cycle, and they don't stick it through long enough to get the results and achieve the change that they desire. So for the remainder of today's episode, I'm going to walk you through three macro topics. First, I'm gonna teach you some basic foundations that you will need if you want to successfully make it to the final phase of the consistency inconsistency cycle. Then I'm gonna share pitfalls and reasons that people often self sabotage while in this cycle so that you can be aware of these and so that you can make efforts to avoid these. And then finally, I'm gonna talk about what it's like when you get to the end of the cycle and you've finally transformed in a way that feels consistent.

现在让我们从基础要点开始。要成功完成这个循环，你需要牢记三个简单要点：第一，游戏的关键在于度过中间阶段（即不稳定阶段）。这个微妙区别极其重要——很多人在建立自信时只想着第三阶段。

So let's get started with the foundations. There are three very simple foundations that you will want to keep in mind in order to successfully complete the consistency inconsistency cycle. Number one, the name of the game is to make it through the middle phase, aka the inconsistency phase. This is a subtle distinction, but it's incredibly important. A lot of times when you're building confidence, what you think about is phase three.

你总想着最终获得理想信心和技能水平、表现稳定优秀的阶段，并认为这就是目标：在会议中自信发言、有效表达观点。

You think about the phase where you finally have the confidence that you want and the skill level that you want, and you are consistently good. And you think to yourself, okay. Cool. That's the goal. The goal is to feel confident and do well in the meeting and share my idea effectively and speak with confidence.

问题在于，结果是这个循环中最后发生的环节。如果你带着必须感到极度自信并完美表现的心态进入挑战性情境，就好比第一次站上篮球场却从未练习过罚球，却对自己说：我的目标是成为罚球高手，所以现在必须拿起球就投进篮筐。这种不切实际的期望很可能让你感到挫败，为失败埋下伏笔——就像篮球运动一样，在你能轻松投篮命中之前，必然要经历命中率不稳定、逐步提升但尚未达到100%的阶段。建立自信亦是如此。

The problem is that outcome is the last thing that happens in the cycle. So if you go into challenging situations expecting that you should feel super confident and get it perfectly, that's like you going up to the basketball hoop for the first time ever without having ever practiced your free throws and saying to yourself, my goal is to be great at free throws. So now I must pick up this ball and instantly get it into the basket. That sets an unrealistic expectation that's probably going to make you feel frustrated and set you up for failure because we know from the basketball example that before you can just pick up the ball and shoot it into the basket with ease, you have to first get through the phase where you're inconsistent and you're getting better, but you're still not getting the ball in 100% of the time. Building confidence is no different.

事实上，我认为建立自信和找到自我表达的方式比练习罚球更难。因此，期待自己突然达到终点状态并表现得游刃有余，对我们的成长过程并不现实。这种心态会让你在取得进步时仍感觉失败，使你无法识别自己的进展——因为你总认为表现应该完美，毕竟那是你期望的终点。所以当你处于混乱、不稳定阶段时，会误以为自己做错了什么，而实际上你正在做正确的事。

And in fact, I would argue building confidence and finding your voice is much harder than shooting free throws. So for us to expect that we will all of a sudden be at the end point and be very good at it isn't realistic for our growth process. And what it does is it makes you feel like you're failing even when you are making progress. It makes it impossible to recognize your progress because you're thinking that it should look perfect because that's the endpoint that you want to be at. So when you're in that messy middle, inconsistent phase where it isn't yet consistent, you think that you've done something wrong when in reality, you are doing something right.

你已进入第二阶段，更接近理想目标。我建议你进行这样的认知重构来帮助自己坚持到底并真正建立自信：将目标从'我必须完美表现，必须每次都做对'转变为'我必须度过这个不稳定阶段，才能最终强大起来，让自信和技能达到稳定发挥的水平'。这个微妙转变将目标从'今天就要实现结果'调整为'坚持走完这个过程，一步一个脚印直到达成目标'。

You have moved into the second phase. You have gotten closer to the ultimate thing you want. So a reframe that I suggest that you make in your mind that will help you follow through and actually build the confidence is I want you to reframe your goal. And instead of saying, I have to show up perfectly, I have to get it right all of the time, I want you to say, I have to make it through this inconsistency phase so that I can show up strong, so that eventually my confidence and my skill level can be at a point where I get it right consistently, and I get it right most of the time. It's a subtle distinction, but you're shifting from my goal is to have the outcome today to my goal is to make it through the process, to stay in it, to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I get to that outcome.

这种视角能让你在心理上准备好应对过程的真实感受。当你做好这种心理准备时，就更有力量坚持到底，真正实现你渴望的改变和深层自信。第二个关键要点是：尽管你在建立自信和寻找自我方面尚未完成整个'稳定-不稳定'循环，但你已在生活的其他领域完成过这种循环。你一定能想起工作中那些曾经困难、表现不稳定，如今却驾轻就熟的领域。试着回忆你初入职场的首日。

That perspective equips you to be psychologically ready for how the process is actually going to feel. And when you're psychologically ready for how the process is going to feel, you are far more likely to be able to power through the process and actually achieve the change and the deeper confidence that you desire. Now the second foundational thing that will help you make it through to the end of the cycle and build that deep confidence that you are wanting is keeping in mind that even though you haven't yet completed the full consistency inconsistency cycle when it comes to building confidence and finding your voice, you have completed the cycle in other areas of your life. I'm sure that you can think of elements of your job that used to be hard for you, where you used to be either consistently bad or inconsistent, but where you are now consistently good. So I want you to think back to the first day ever of you being in the workforce.

想象那个职场新人的你，今天突然要接手你现在的工作角色——局面可能会非常混乱。这其实是好消息，说明你已经在工作的各个组成部分中完成过多次'稳定-不稳定'循环。

Day one, first ever job, I want you to think of that version of you. And I want you to imagine that that version of you has to show up today and execute the job and the role that you have today. If that happened, things would probably get really messy. This is good news. This is an encouraging thing because what it means is that you have already completed multiple consistency inconsistency cycles across various components of your job.

你现在工作中那些得心应手的部分，正是因为你坚持足够久而建立了深厚技能。这证明你有能力完成'稳定-不稳定'循环：从持续表现不佳，到进入不稳定阶段，再通过长期坚持最终达到稳定优秀。牢记这一点会给你更多动力和信念，相信自己终将抵达终点，帮助你坚持足够久以见证真正的改变。

There are elements of your job that you are consistently good at because you stuck with them long enough to build that deeper skill. This is evidence that you are capable of completing consistency, inconsistency cycles. You are capable of being consistently bad at something and then becoming inconsistent and then staying in that inconsistency phase long enough to finally become consistently good. When you keep that in mind, you have so much more fuel and motivation and so much more belief that you will actually make it to the other end. This helps you stay in it long enough to actually see the change.

第三个也是最重要的核心洞见是：在我教你的三个阶段（持续不佳、不稳定、持续良好）中，中间的不稳定阶段情感体验最强烈，有时也最令人不适。这可能有点反直觉，因为我们常以为持续不佳阶段最痛苦——这样想并非没有道理。

Now this third foundational insight is the most important of them all. And if you only take one thing away from this episode, let it be this. When it comes to the consistency inconsistency cycle and those three phases that I taught you, which are consistently bad, inconsistent, and consistently good, when it comes to those three phases, the middle phase, inconsistency is the most emotionally intense and sometimes the most unpleasant. This can be a little bit counterintuitive because often we think, wait, wouldn't it be the consistently bad phase of the cycle that feels the worst? And you wouldn't be wrong to ask that question.

但关键区别在于，持续糟糕与不稳定相比，后者在心理上更令人痛苦。这是因为当我们持续表现不佳时，事情是可预测的；而不稳定时则充满不确定性。如果你投篮总是投不进，就不会有情绪起伏——你知道自己每次出手都会偏出。

But there's a key distinction between consistently bad versus inconsistent that makes inconsistency more psychologically painful than consistently bad. And that is the fact that when we're consistently bad, things are predictable. And when we are inconsistent, things are unpredictable. So if you're consistently bad at shooting the ball into the basket, there's no emotional roller coaster. You know that you're going to throw the ball and miss.

因此每次失误时都不会有希望落空的感觉。事实上，由于确信自己永远投不进，你可能根本不会真正投入练习。你不会认真尝试，也不会真正在意，因为早已认定结果必然是负面的。这种抽离感和可预测性，使得持续糟糕阶段比不稳定阶段情绪波动更小、强度更低。

So there's no hope that is being let down every time you miss. And in fact, because you know you're always gonna miss, you're probably not truly invested in actually throwing the ball. You're not really trying. You're not really caring because you are certain that the outcome is going to be a negative outcome. So there's a sense of disengagement and predictability that makes the consistently bad phase less emotionally volatile and less intense than the inconsistency phase.

当处于不稳定阶段时，突然之间就有了投中篮的希望。伴随这种希望而来的，是失误时产生的懊恼、挫败、失望和怨恨。这些强烈负面情绪在持续糟糕阶段根本不会出现，因为我们早已预知结果。但当怀有成功的希望，却要面对时好时坏的现实——尤其当你知道本可以做到却失败时，这种痛苦会更深刻。

When you're in the inconsistency phase, all of a sudden, there's hope that you might get the ball in the basket. And with that hope, there is the grief and frustration and disappointment and resentment that happens when you miss the basket. Those difficult, intense feelings aren't even on the table for us when we're in the consistently bad phase because we know exactly how things are gonna turn out. But when we have hope that things could turn out well, and then we are faced with the reality that things are inconsistent and sometimes things don't turn out well even though we knew that they could, it hurts more. It hurts more deeply.

这里不仅有失望，还有情绪上的剧烈震荡：前一分钟我投中篮正在庆祝，下一分钟投失就陷入愤怒、沮丧和自我怀疑。如果你想要真正提升自信或改变处世方式，理解这个现实至关重要。你必须明白，当你开始这个成长过程时，就进入了情绪更波动的不稳定阶段。

There's disappointment there. And not just disappointment, but there's also whiplash because one minute, I'm getting the ball in the basket and I'm celebrating. And the next minute, I miss the basket, and I'm angry and frustrated and disappointed and questioning if I'm even making progress. This is a very important reality to understand if you're interested in, like, seriously up leveling your confidence or seriously up leveling how you show up in the world. It's really important to know that when you embark on that process, you are moving into the inconsistency phase where the emotional experience is more volatile.

持续优秀，这远比第一阶段持续糟糕要好得多。

And this is one of the reasons that I often see that prevents people from saying yes to their goals and dreams and going after the growth that they deeply want. They don't go after it because the familiar known nature of being consistently bad feels better to them in the present moment than the uncertainty and the potential disappointment and the emotional volatility that we experience when we move into inconsistency. However, when you're making that trade off and asking yourself, is this process worth it to me? The thing that you need to remember is that that inconsistency phase doesn't last forever. There's going to be a point where your skill level is going to reach a critical tipping point where you're now far more consistent in your results, and future you will thank current you for having the determination and the guts to stay in it because now future you gets to be in phase three, consistently good, which we know is way better than phase one, consistently bad.

以上就是稳定性波动循环的三个基础阶段。接下来我想更深入探讨：在本期剩余时间里，我将分析这个循环中自我破坏的具体成因（之前已略有提及），然后讨论进入第三阶段后能获得的成长与收益。现在稍事休息，稍后继续。

So those are the three foundations of the consistency inconsistency cycle. And I want to go even deeper. So for those of you who want, like, an in-depth layered learning of this cycle, for the remainder of today's episode, I'm going to be diving into the specific causes of self sabotage within this cycle, which I've started to hint at, but I have a lot more to say about. And then I'm going to talk about some of the growth and benefits that we get to enjoy when we make it to phase three of the cycle. We're gonna take a super quick break, and I will catch you on the other side.

项目。在这个招牌课程中，我们将共同驯服你脑中那个不断自我质疑的声音，让你能自信满满地在任何会议中展现想法。这不仅是浅层的自我帮助，而是通过深层心理建设，让你在会议室拥有坚定声音成为新常态。立即报名加入下一期课程，获取你需要的支持体系。

If you're listening to this episode and thinking this inconsistency phase is exactly where I get stuck, then I want to invite you to come work with me so that together we can tackle it head on. Inside my signature program, the art of speaking up academy, we work on quieting that voice in your head that second guesses you constantly so that you can walk into any meeting and represent your ideas with genuine confidence. The Art of Speaking Up Academy is more than just surface level self help tips. Inside this program, you will do the deeper psychological work that will help you build confidence that sticks so that having a strong voice in the room just becomes your new normal. Get the support and structure you need by joining me in the next cohort.

要加入我们，请点击节目说明中的链接将自己加入等候名单，这样当有空位时你将第一时间获知。现在回到节目内容。好，我已向你们讲解了什么是'稳定-不稳定循环'，并分享了如何成功度过这个循环的基本方法。现在我想深入探讨一下自我破坏行为。

To join us, add yourself to the wait list by clicking the link in the show notes, and you will be first to find out when a spot is available. And now back to the episode. Okay. So I've taught you what the consistency inconsistency cycle is, and I've shared with you the basics of how to successfully move through the cycle. Now I wanna do a bit of a deep dive on self sabotage.

在稳定-不稳定循环中有几个特定阶段更容易出现自我破坏，我想指出来让你们能在生活中识别这些时刻，发现那些阻碍你释放内在潜力的实例。第一种自我破坏发生在当我们选择停留在持续糟糕阶段，甚至不愿尝试进入不稳定状态时。人类思维有个很有趣的现象：我们常常偏爱可预测性和稳定性——即便这种可预测性是消极的。不确定性和不可预测性会让我们如此恐惧，以至于常常选择'已知的魔鬼'，而非冒险尝试更好但不可预测的事物。如果你发现以下情况，就说明你正在这样做：建立自信、成为理想中的自己对你而言只是个抽象概念，是个可以在脑海中幻想的有趣理论，但从未想过要将其真正带入现实生活或认真视为目标。

There are a few different places in the consistency inconsistency cycle where self sabotage is more likely, and I wanna point those out to you so that you can spot those in your own life and see the instances where you are holding yourself back from the actual potential that you have deeper inside of you. So the first way that self sabotage can happen is when we choose to stay in the consistently bad phase and we don't even venture out into inconsistency. And something that's very interesting about the human mind is that often we prefer predictability and consistency even if that predictability is predictably negative. Uncertainty and unpredictability can be so scary for our minds that often we will choose the proverbial devil that we know rather than venture off into something that is better but unpredictable. The way that you know that you are doing this is if building confidence and becoming the version of you who you want to be feels like an abstract theory that is fun to think about and ideate on in your head, but doesn't feel like anything that you would ever actually bring into your real life and treat seriously as a goal.

如果出现这种情况，很可能是因为持续糟糕阶段的可预测性和舒适感已成为你的稳定来源，而进入不稳定阶段、面对随之而来的动荡让你感到非常恐惧。当我们停留在持续糟糕阶段时，往往低估了最终到达第三阶段（持续良好阶段）时将获得的成长、幸福和满足感。在内心某处，我们认为当前状态比进入不稳定阶段、追求最终的持续良好阶段更为可取。若你正处于这种状态，最重要的是将这个决定意识化，直面它并自问：对我来说什么更重要？是保持现状的可预测性，确切知道每天的感受如何——即便不喜欢这种感受——至少可以预测它？还是成长更重要？这个选择只有你能决定。对我个人而言，我总是选择成长，因为尽管通往目标的道路可能充满恐惧、不稳定和动荡，但停滞不前带来的沉闷感会让我的人生变得难以忍受。随着节目深入，我将分享为何值得前进、直面不稳定、追逐梦想的原因。

If this is happening, it's likely because the predictability and the comfort of being consistently bad phase has become a source of stability for you, and it feels very scary for you to venture into the inconsistency phase and face the instability that comes with that. Now often, when we are staying in the consistently bad phase, we are underestimating how much growth and happiness and fulfillment we will experience when we finally make it to phase three, the phase where we are consistently good. And in our mind, we're thinking that our current state overall is the better option than us moving forward into inconsistency and pursuing that final phase of consistently good. And if this is happening, the most important thing you can do is to make that decision conscious and bring it to the surface and ask yourself, what is more important to me? Is it more important to me for things to stay the same and be predictable and for me to know exactly how every day is going to feel?

但首先，我想讨论第二种自我破坏来源，这通常发生在我们从持续糟糕阶段进入不稳定阶段之后。人们常常会在觉醒时刻意识到：天啊，我的生命/事业正在流逝，我没有成为想成为的人，没有展现出渴望的领导力，没有培养出想要的声音表达——是时候打破这个模式真正追求成长了。于是他们开始建立自信，努力占据更多空间，从而进入循环的第二阶段：不稳定期。

Even if I don't like how it feels, at least I get to predict it and know how it'll feel. Is that more important to me, or is growth more important to me? And that's a decision that only you can make. For me personally, I always choose growth because even though it can feel scary and inconsistent and unstable on the path to getting there, for me, the stagnant and the boredom that I experience if I'm not doing that starts to become intolerable in my life. And as we get deeper into the episode, I'm gonna share some thoughts on why it is worth it to move forward and face the inconsistency and go for it and pursue your dreams.

我在节目前面提到过，但因其重要性需要在自我破坏环节再次强调：一旦进入不稳定阶段，情绪高点会更高，低点也会更低。情感波动变得更剧烈，这可能导致人们因两大原因放弃。第一个原因是他们没为循环的不稳定阶段做好准备，以为自己能跳过这个阶段直接到达持续良好状态。

But first, I want to talk about the second source of self sabotage, which typically happens once we've moved from the consistently bad phase into the inconsistency phase. So it's very common for people to experience a wake up call and realize, oh my gosh. My life is passing me by. My career is passing me by. I'm not becoming the person I wanna be.

我先前在节目中暗示过这一点，但因其重要性我们需要在自我破坏环节重点讨论。当进入不稳定阶段后，情绪巅峰会更高，低谷也会更深。情感波动变得更为剧烈，这可能让人因两个主要原因放弃。首要原因是他们根本没有为循环中的不稳定期做好准备，天真地以为能直接跳过这个阶段达到持续良好的状态。

I'm not showing up as the leader I aspire to. I'm not developing the voice that I want to have. It is time for me to break this pattern and actually pursue growth. And they start working on their confidence and making efforts to take up more space. And as a result, they move into the second phase of the cycle, which is inconsistency.

现在我要指出的是，正如本节目前文所述，当我们进入不稳定阶段后，情绪振幅会显著扩大——喜悦更加灿烂，痛苦也愈发深刻。这种剧烈的情感波动往往导致人们放弃，主要出于两大原因：其一是他们完全没预料到循环中必须经历这个不稳定阶段，误以为能直线抵达持续稳定的美好状态。

Now I alluded to this earlier in the episode, but it is so important that we need to talk about it here in the self sabotage section. As soon as we move into inconsistency, the highs become higher and the lows become lower. The emotional volatility gets more intense, and this can cause people to give up for one of two big reasons. The first reason is that they weren't prepared for the inconsistency phase of the cycle. They assumed that they would skip that phase and go straight to consistently good.

而当这种情况没有发生，当他们面对这种不一致时，他们开始担忧并怀疑，是不是我有什么问题？而这个念头——我是不是有问题？——可能如此可怕，以至于一旦它出现，我们就会彻底退缩，远离最初引发这个念头的任何事物。所以这看起来就像你说，我准备好加倍努力投入成长过程了。我迫不及待要建立自信。

And when that didn't happen and when they faced the inconsistency, they began to worry and wonder, is something wrong with me? And that thought, is something wrong with me? Can be such a terrifying thought that as soon as it pops up, we completely retreat from whatever was causing that thought to come up in the first place. So what this looks like is you say, I'm ready to double down on my growth process. I can't wait to build confidence.

然后你开始采取行动建立自信，但你的表现并不稳定，因为这是循环的第二阶段。但在你脑海里，你却在想，哦，我应该立刻就能做好这件事。这不应该这么难。我应该能很快掌握。接着你开始想，天啊。

Then you start taking action to build confidence, and you're inconsistent because that's the second phase of the cycle. But in your head, you were thinking, oh, I should have been good at this right away. This shouldn't be hard. I should just be able to do this quickly. And then you start to think, oh my god.

我肯定有问题。别人不是这样的。一定出问题了。我哪里不对劲。我的性格有缺陷。

Something's wrong with me. It's not like this for other people. Something's happening. Something's wrong with me. There's something with my personality.

我做不到。这些想法变得如此可怕，以至于你的大脑开始说，哦天哪。比如，如果我内心深处真的有问题怎么办？如果这个过程现在正在揭露这一点，将其公之于众，而我将会了解到一些让我余生都感到羞耻的关于自己的事情呢？我必须停下。我必须放弃这个所谓的‘建立自信’的疯狂念头，回到我开始这个可怕过程之前的状态。

I can't make this happen. And those thoughts become so scary that your mind starts to say, oh my gosh. Like, what if something is deeply wrong with me, and what if this process is now outing that and putting that out in the open, and I'm gonna learn things about myself that I will feel shameful about for the rest of my life? I have to stop. I have to stop this crazy idea that I had to build this, quote, unquote, confidence, and I need to go back to how things were before I embarked on this scary, terrifying process.

所以实际情况是，我们假设过程中的不一致性不是正常现象。我们认为这只是发生在我们身上，因为我们有问题，而我们如此害怕看到自己所有的问题，以至于完全退出了这个过程。这就是可能出现的第一种自我破坏模式。第二种自我破坏模式源于情绪剧烈波动的强度。当高潮更高时，低谷也会更深。

So what is happening is we're assuming that the inconsistency isn't a normal part of the process. We think it's just happening to us because something is wrong with us, and we become so scared of seeing all the things that are wrong with us that we retreat from the process entirely. So that is the first self sabotage pattern that can come up. The second self sabotage pattern that can come up stems from the intensity of the emotional whiplash. As the highs are higher, the lows become lower.

以篮球为例，当我开始提高罚球命中率并投中一些球，但表现仍不稳定时，在不稳定阶段投失的球会比在持续糟糕阶段投失的球带来更强烈的刺痛感和情绪痛苦。因为现在我正处于情绪过山车上，我对投进球有了期待。所以当我投失时，痛苦会加倍。而当我感受到这种痛苦时，可能会发生两种情况之一。我可能会说，这种感觉太难受了。

So in the basketball example, when I start to improve my free throw and I start making those shots, but I'm still inconsistent, the shots that I miss when I'm in the inconsistency phase are going to sting more and cause more emotional pain than the shots that I missed when I was in the consistently bad phase. Because now I'm on an emotional roller coaster where I have an expectation of making the shot. So when I miss the shot, it is that much more painful. And when I feel that pain, one of two things might happen. I might say, this feeling is so unpleasant.

这不值得。算了。我不想再打球了。或者我可能会说，这太荒谬了。感觉糟透了。

This isn't worth it. Like, forget it. I don't wanna shoot hoops anymore. And or I might say, this is ridiculous. This feels so bad.

如果我永远停留在这个阶段怎么办？如果这就是常态——我时而表现出色，时而糟糕透顶怎么办？这太可怕了。我不想继续这种感受，我讨厌这种情绪过山车。

And what if I stay in this phase forever? What if this is just how it's gonna be where half the time I'm great at this and half the time I suck at this? This is awful. I don't want to continue this feeling. I don't like this emotional roller coaster.

让我退后一步停下来。这些正是我们在给予足够时间让进展自然展现之前，就放弃自我提升的两个原因。这些都是非常正常、可预见的人类行为。人类心智厌恶不确定性，也不喜欢经历情绪的大起大落。

Let me just back away and stop. So these are both reasons that we give up on our own progress before we have even given it enough time to play out. And these are very normal, predictable human behaviors. The human mind doesn't like uncertainty. It doesn't like to experience big swings in emotions.

当我们在极短时间内经历积极情绪和消极情绪时，大脑确实难以处理。所有这些都会造成巨大的内在不适与压力。面对这种内在不适时，我们有两种选择：要么拔掉插头按下终止键，宣布'我受够了，游戏结束，不想继续了'；要么选择加倍投入。

It really struggles to process when we are experiencing positive emotions and negative emotions within a very small span of time, these are all things that create enormous amounts of internal discomfort and tension. And when we experience that internal discomfort and tension, we have two options. We can pull the plug or press the kill switch and say, I am done. Game over. I don't wanna do this anymore, or we can double down.

我们可以告诉自己：等等，这正是这个过程中必然发生的。杰斯说过，这种摩擦、恐惧和不适本就是成长过程的一部分。在那个时刻，我们选择坚持有两个原因：第一，因为我们极度渴望达到循环的第三阶段——那个能持续稳定发挥的阶段。

And we can say, wait a minute. This is exactly what is supposed to happen in this process. This is the exact friction and the exact fear and discomfort that Jess said was part of the growth process. And in that moment, we can decide to keep going for two reasons. Number one, because we are so motivated by the goal of making it to the third phase of the cycle where we are consistently good.

第二，因为我们知道，学会应对循环中不稳定阶段的情感波动，才是真正建立自信的契机。这引出了本期最重要的观点之一（虽然我已经说过很多重点）——我们的自信正是在中间阶段的不稳定中锻造出来的，在不一致性中建立的。

But number two, because we know that learning to work through the emotional volatility of the inconsistency phase of the cycle is where the actual confidence is built. And this brings me to one of the most important points in this episode. I know I've already said that, but there's a lot of really important things in this episode. But the point that this brings us to is that our confidence is created in the instability of the middle phase. Our confidence is created in the inconsistency.

很多时候我们以为自信会在第三阶段形成——当我们持续表现出色、永远做对的时候。不，不是的。我们的自信是在第二阶段建立的：当表现不稳定时，当我们经历情感鞭打效应时，当一次会议或演示幻灯片的瞬间就经历巅峰与谷底时。正是在那些我们选择加倍投入并告诉自己'没问题，我是个狠角色'的时刻。

And a lot of times, we think to ourselves that our confidence is gonna get created in phase three when we're consistently good and we get it right all the time. No, no, no. Our confidence is created in phase two when things are inconsistent and we're experiencing emotional whiplash, and we've got the highest highs and the lowest lows happening within the span of a single meeting or a single slide that we're presenting. In those moments when we double down and say to ourselves, no problem. I'm a badass.

虽然情绪上很艰难，但我能搞定。我能应对，我会继续前进。如果能在那些时刻达到这种状态，由此建立的自信将伴随我们终生。当我们熬过情绪波动，加倍坚定对自我成长的承诺（而非在艰难时刻放弃），不仅提升了应对不适的能力，更重要的是，我们开始经历身份认知的转变。

This is emotionally hard, but I've got this. I can handle this. I will keep moving forward. If we are able to get to that place in those moments, that is what is going to create the confidence that stays with us for a lifetime. When we endure through the emotional volatility and we double down on our commitment to ourselves and our growth, rather than giving up in the moments where things feel really hard, not only do we improve our own ability to navigate through discomfort, but more importantly, we start to experience a shift in identity.

我们观察自己应对困境的方式，突然间发现：哦，原来我是那种在艰难时刻反而会加倍努力的人。我是那种即使遭遇失败、局面动荡不定时仍坚持目标的人。我是那种即便表现不够完美、尚未获得理想中的自信，也依然在会议中持续发声的人。当我们反复见证'我是能在逆境中坚持到底的人'时，内心会涌现出无可阻挡的强者感觉——因为我们亲眼目睹自己挺过了情感上的重重考验。正是这种身份认同的转变，以及坚持面对情感挑战的经历（哪怕内心偶尔想要放弃），才能帮助我们培养出那种深厚、稳固、不可动摇的自信。

We watch ourselves handle hard things, and all of a sudden, we see, oh, I'm the type of person that doubles down when things get hard. I'm the type of person that sticks with my goals even when I have a fail and things are feeling unstable and inconsistent. I'm the type of person that keeps taking up space in the meeting even when I'm not doing it perfectly and even when I don't yet have the confidence that I desire. And when we see over and over, I am the type of person who stays in it when it's hard, we begin to feel so unstoppable and like such a badass inside for watching ourselves endure through such emotionally difficult circumstances. And it is that identity shift and that experience of sticking with the emotionally hard thing, even when part of us wants to abandon it, that helps us grow that deep, stable, steady, unshakable confidence.

许多人没有意识到，自信恰恰诞生于不稳定之中。当我们精通驾驭不稳定的艺术时，自信自然而生。有趣的是，这正是优秀领导力的本质——成功应对不稳定的能力。所以你渴望的自信与你想获得的领导才能，其实同根同源。

What so many people don't realize is that confidence is born out of instability. Confidence comes as we learn to get really good at navigating instability. And fun fact, that's exactly what good leadership is. Good leadership is the ability to successfully navigate instability. So the confidence that you want and the leadership skill that you want comes from the same thing.

当你明白这种不稳定性是培养自信和领导才能珍贵且不可替代的养分时，你就不会再想逃避它。你会主动拥抱它，因为它蕴含着助你成长的无限可能。这个'稳定-不稳定'循环过程最美妙之处在于：当你最终进入第三阶段'持续优秀'时，解锁的自信将坚如磐石——因为你知道自己穿越了多少动荡才抵达这里。反复面对不稳定性会锻造出内在的力量与定力。请记住...

And when you realize that and you realize that the inconsistency is a valuable and irreplaceable input for your confidence and your skills as a leader, you will no longer want to skip over it or avoid it. You will want to embrace it because of the potential that it has to help you grow. And what is so beautiful about this process and about the consistency inconsistency cycle is that by the time you get to phase three consistently good and your confidence is unlocked and you're no longer intimidated by that meeting and you just feel like such an unstoppable badass leader in your job, that feeling that you have will be rock solid, unflappable, and unshakable because you know how much inconsistency you had to move through to get there. Repeatedly facing inconsistency creates internal strength and stability. And listen.

我内心某个角落多希望可以告诉你：这事轻而易举，一天就能建立自信，完全不需要冒险、吃苦或经历情绪起伏。但真相是：第一，这根本行不通；第二，那些承诺你能轻松快速蜕变的人，恐怕没把你的利益放在心上。更重要的是，我们需要自问：这真是我想要的吗？我真的要走捷径吗？

There's a part of me that wishes that I could tell you that it's just super easy and that confidence can be built in a day and that you don't have to put yourself at risk or do anything hard or experience ups and downs in your emotions. But the truth is, number one, that's not how it works. And anyone that's telling you that you can transform quickly and with minimal effort probably doesn't have your best interests at heart. But number two, it's really important to think about, is that what I want? Do I really want the easy way out?

我真的想不经历层层挑战就脱胎换骨吗？就我个人而言，我想要的自信必须是通过历练获得的——因为我确实完成了面对动荡、驾驭情绪浪潮的艰苦内心功课。在我看来，这才是真正的强者风范，也是造就令人敬佩的卓越领导者的核心。如果你想成为这样的人，如果你意识到下一阶段的成长需要直面障碍与逆境来建立持久的自信——这正是我帮助客户专攻的领域。我的工作就是帮助你在会议室里培养强大而自信的声音。

Do I really want to become someone different without actually experiencing all of the layers of challenge that helped me evolve into that person? And for me personally, I want my confidence to be deep and robust because it was earned, because I did the tough inner work of learning to face the inconsistency and ride out difficult emotional waves. In my opinion, that is what makes someone a badass, and that is what makes someone a really unstoppable and super admired leader. And if that is who you want to become, and if you are realizing that your next uplevel involves you learning to face the obstacles and face the adversity so that you can build confidence that is enduring and lasting, this is the exact work that I help my clients with. When I am working with you, I am helping you develop a voice in the room that is strong and confident.

实现这个目标的最佳方式，就是从内到外构建真实的自信。当你的内心真正充满不可阻挡的自信时，这种力量每次都会自然流露在你的言谈中。这正是我在'勇敢发声学院'的教学核心，如果你准备好开始这段旅程，诚挚邀请你加入下一期课程。报名的最佳方式是点击节目说明中的链接加入候补名单——最近几期课程都在公开招生前就被候补学员提前报满，因为我总是优先向候补学员开放名额。

And the absolute best way to do that is to build real confidence from the inside out. When you feel genuinely unstoppably confident inside, it translates to the way that you speak on the outside every single time. That is the work that I do in the Art of Speaking Up Academy, and I would love to invite you to join me in the next cohort if you are ready to do this work. The absolute best way to join this program is to add yourself to the wait list by clicking the link in the show notes. Several of the more recent cohorts have sold out behind the scenes before I've had the chance to open doors publicly, and that is because I always offer spots to those on the waitlist first.

加入候补名单还能获得专属福利，比如免费专题研讨会或与我的一对一私教课。所以强烈建议不要跳过候补环节，现在就点击节目说明链接或访问jessguzzitcoaching.com/academy报名。非常感谢收听本期节目，今天的分享让我充满激情，已经迫不及待想开始下一期了！

Plus, when you join the waitlist, you qualify for exclusive waitlist only bonuses, like a free bonus workshop or a free private session with me. So I don't recommend skipping the wait list. Add yourself today by clicking the link in the show notes or going to jessguzzitcoaching.com/academy. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I had so much fun teaching this, and I'm already fired up about the next one.

那么让我们开始吧。我们下周的节目中再见。祝你有个愉快的一周。再见。

So let's get to it. I will catch you in next week's episode. Have an amazing week. Bye.