在特朗普时代的美国抚养跨性别孩子

当法国的一座古老玫瑰园变成露天实验室时会发生什么？

What happens when an ancient rose farm in France becomes an open sky laboratory?

印度的美容培训项目如何为经济赋权开辟道路？

And how can a cosmetology program in India offer a road to economic empowerment?

你好。

Hi there.

我是伊莎贝拉·鲁索里尼。

I'm Isabella Russolini.

在欧莱雅集团最新一期《这不是美容播客》中，我们采访了一位有机花农和一位美容学校毕业生，探讨美容如何塑造商业。

And in the latest episode of this is not a beauty podcast from L'Oreal Group, we speak to an organic flower farmer and a beauty school graduate and how beauty shapes business.

现在就在你喜欢的播客平台上收听吧。

Listen now on your favorite podcast platform.

我叫... 我住在田纳西州。

My name is I live in Tennessee.

我有四个孩子，几个月前我和妻子决定收拾行李搬家。

I've got four kids, and my wife and I decided a few months ago that we needed to pack up and move.

我们感觉自己就像在本国寻求庇护的难民。

We actually feel like asylum seekers in our own country.

我们希望康涅狄格州的当权者能够保护我们。

Our hope is is that in Connecticut, the powers that be will be able to protect us.

我们要离开所有朋友了。

We're leaving all our friends behind.

我们在这里已经生活了十三年。

We've been here for thirteen years.

我们全家都住在南方。

All our family lives in the South.

我们将远隔千里。

We'll be a thousand miles away.

我不知道。

I don't know.

整件事都令人心碎。

The whole thing is heartbreaking.

我妻子今早哭了好一阵，因为下午我们要办个盛大的告别派对，准备些乡村炖菜，和大家道别。

My wife cried a bunch this morning because we're gonna do a big farewell party this afternoon and do a little country boil and say our goodbyes.

祝一切顺利。

All the best.

这里是《纽约时报》，我是娜塔莉·基特罗克。

From The New York Times, I'm Natalie Kitroak.

这里是《每日》节目。

This is The Daily.

自上任以来，特朗普总统全力推动联邦政府否认跨性别身份的概念，并试图阻止跨性别未成年人获得性别肯定的医疗治疗。

Since coming into office, president Trump has thrown the full weight of the federal government behind denying the very idea of transgender identity and pushing to prevent transminors from getting gender affirming medical treatments.

在这其中，许多家庭正竭力寻找最佳方式支持他们的孩子，同时避免成为政府针对的目标。

In the middle of all that are families, scrambling to figure out how to best support their children without becoming targets of the government.

今天，我们将与其中一个家庭对话。

Today, we talk to one of those families.

今天是11月21日，星期五。

It's Friday, November 21.

可爱。

Cute.

我猜他们家就是挂着跨性别旗帜的那户。

I'm guessing that their house is this one with the trans flag.

几个月前，我们去了康涅狄格州拜访那位主动联系我们的父亲。

A few months ago, we went to Connecticut to visit the dad who'd reached out to us.

喂？

Hello?

嘿。

Hey.

嗨。

Hi.

他和妻子在门口迎接我们，并带我们去了客厅。

He and his wife greeted us at the door and showed us to their living room.

那我们要不要准备一下？

Well, should we get set up?

我们要不要找个大家都能坐下的地方？

Do we wanna find a place we can all sit down or

嗯，你觉得这里应该就行。

Well, you think this is probably it.

是啊。

Yeah.

我们的房间很干净。

Our room is clean.

所以它必须在这里。

So it has to be here.

他们要求我们不要使用他们的名字，因为他们害怕成为目标。

They asked us not to use their names because they were afraid of being targeted.

看看它，因为他们说他们从未想过自己会住在康涅狄格州。

Look at it because They said they never expected to find themselves living in Connecticut.

他们都在南卡罗来纳州长大，每个周日都在教堂做礼拜的那种家庭。

They both grew up in South Carolina, both raised in church every Sunday kind of families.

他们在大学时，最终参加了同一个会议。

While they were in college, they ended up at the same conference.

加入了我们的小组。

Joined my group.

他迟到了，加入了我们的小组，然后我们作为一个小团体见面，讨论一些问题。

He came in late and joined my group, and then we met as a small group when we were talking about issues.

他一直说，嗯，我想知道女性对此有什么看法。

And he kept talking about, well, I wonder like what women think about this.

我当时就想，哦，哇。

And I was like, oh, wow.

比如，这家伙是谁？

Like, who is this guy?

他一直说这些东西，你知道的，关于女权主义和女性。

He kept saying all this stuff, you know, about like feminism and women.

我当时想，哇，这有点不一样。

And I thought, wow, this is some this is something different.

对。

Right.

那就是我平时说话的方式。

And that's just how I talked all the time.

与我真心认为她很特别这件事毫无关系。

It had nothing to do with the fact that I really thought she was something special.

我只是在人群中四处询问：女性们对此怎么看？

I just going around in in groups and saying, what do women think about this?

他们一见如故，开始约会，结婚生子。

They hit it off, started dating, got married, had kids.

他们搬到佛罗里达州并成为牧师。

They moved to Florida and became ministers.

一切都很美好。

Things were good.

唯一的问题是——这是个非常具体的问题——他们在不同教堂任职，形成了所谓的'双教堂家庭'。

One problem, and this was a very specific problem, was that they were ministers at different churches, making them what's referred to apparently as a two church family.

我们当时服务于两个不同的教会，作为双教堂家庭实在太辛苦了，要不停往返于各种会议和教堂之间。

We had been serving two separate congregations, and it just was too hard to be a two church family, running back and forth between all the meetings and the churches.

我们甚至从未真正一起度过任何神圣节日。

And like we never really spent any of the kind of sacred holidays together.

于是在2013年，

And so we In 2013,

他们在田纳西州找到了解决方案——找到了一间可以同时容纳两人工作的教堂。

they found their solution in Tennessee at a church where they could both work.

那时，他们已有四个孩子，全家搬进了一条死胡同里的房子。

By then, they had four children, and they moved the whole family to a house on a cul de sac.

那个

The

让我意识到‘我们到家了’的时刻，是当我看到萤火虫的时候。

moment where I was like, oh, we're home was, there were fireflies.

我们的孩子们从未见过萤火虫。

And our kids had not seen fireflies.

于是我们都跑到外面，学着叫萤火虫之类的。

And so we all went outside and we call fireflies and that sort of thing.

当然，作为在南方长大的我，看到孩子们这样做时，怀旧之情油然而生。

And of course, the nostalgia having grown up in the South, it's didn't see my kids doing that.

那一刻就像是在说，是的，这无疑就是家的感觉。

It was like, yeah, very much an indicator that this was, it was home.

在我们住在那里的整个期间，我不断地说，这就是我们永远的家。

The whole time we lived there, I kept saying, this is our forever him.

这就是我们永远的家。

This is our forever him.

在田纳西州，他们做着所有父母都会做的事，试图了解孩子们从可能成为的人到真实自我的转变。

In Tennessee, they were doing the thing all parents do, trying to get to know their kids as they turn from who they might be to who they are.

但对于他们的第三个孩子，这变得更加困难。

But with their third child, that was harder.

他们让我们叫她艾莉。

They've asked us to call her Allie.

艾莉出生时是个生理男孩。

Allie had been born a biological boy.

从一开始，她就显得与其他孩子不同，更难亲近。

And from the start, she felt different from their other children, harder to reach.

我觉得她是我始终感觉不了解的那个孩子。

I think she was the one child I always felt like that I didn't know her.

你这话是什么意思？

What do you mean by that?

你说你不了解她？

That that you didn't know her?

就是有时候想到孩子，你会觉得'我知道这个想要什么'。

I don't it's just sometimes you think about your kids and you're like, oh, I know what this one would want.

比如生日礼物这种小事，或者我知道他们对某部剧的看法。

Like, silly things like birthday gifts, or, like, I know what they would think about this show.

或者我在想，如果问他们人生规划，他们会怎么回答。

Or I know I wonder what they would say if I asked them, you know, what they wanted to do with their life.

但她总是有点难以捉摸，无法确切把握她是谁。

And she was just a little out of grasp, like, of of being able to nail down who who she was.

倒不是说不好，只是作为父母的一种渴望。

And not in like a bad way, but just like a yearning as a parent.

我记忆里总想着'需要更了解她'。

You know, like, I I just mentally remember thinking like, need to get to know her more.

从小时候起，艾莉在父母眼中就是个阴柔的男孩。

From early on, Allie seemed to her parents an effeminate boy.

她钟爱一切紫色，还总爱穿姐姐的芭蕾舞服装。

She loved all things purple and used to dress up in her sister's ballet outfits.

有一次，她爸爸踢给她一个足球，她却做了个芭蕾的屈膝动作。

Once, when her dad kicked her a soccer ball, she performed a plie.

但她毕竟还是个孩子，父母也完全不知道该如何看待这一切——如果真有什么需要看待的话。

But she was still a little kid and her parents didn't really know what to make of it all, if anything.

我是说，我觉得我们当时根本不具备理解这种经历的能力。

I mean, I don't I don't think we were equipped to know what we were experiencing.

所以很早的时候我们就想，哦，这孩子可能是同性恋。

So I think very early on, we thought, oh, this one might be gay.

是

Was

你还记得有什么时刻开始意识到这可能不是性取向问题吗？

there a moment that you remember kind of starting to realize, this might not be sexuality thing.

我们可能面对的是与性别认同更相关的事情。

We we might be looking at something that's more connected to gender.

不是我。

Not me.

我反应特别迟钝。

I was really slow on that uptake.

我也是。

Me too.

就像阿里

As Ali

随着年龄增长，这种差异愈发难以忽视。

got older though, this difference became harder to ignore.

他们都说，特别是在2022年那次家庭旅行期间。

Particularly, they both say, during this one family trip they took in 2022.

然后我们去了西班牙。

And then we went to Spain.

哦，好吧。

Oh, okay.

我还在想你们到底去了没有。

I was wondering if you went.

是啊。

Yeah.

我们去了西班牙，我觉得那时我们可能已经有点各怀心事了。

We went to Spain, and I think I think we were maybe in different places a little bit at this point.

我们走进一家商店，阿里发现了这些金属制成的花朵发箍，非常漂亮。

And we went into the shop and then Ali found these headbands and they were made out of metal, and they were flowers, and they were really pretty.

它们价格昂贵，我们每人只带了50欧元作为旅行零花钱。

They were very expensive, and we had given them maybe like €50 each to have us spending money on the trip.

我就说这太贵了。

And I just said that's a lot of money.

于是我们离开了，但走的时候她说：我真的很想买那些。

And so we walked out, and then as we left, she's like, I really wanna get those.

我当时想好吧，而你似乎更犹豫些，说着：我们走吧。

And I thought, okay, and you I think you were a little more hesitant, like, let's just go.

她打算做什么？

What is she gonna do?

所以我记得我们有过这样的对话，比如，她想要个头带吗？

And so I remember us having this conversation, like, does she want with a headband?

我当时觉得，我想

And I was like, I think

你还记得那次对话吗？

Do you remember that conversation?

我记得。

I do.

是的。

Yes.

所以她想要个花环样式的头饰，当时我们在另一个国家旅行，我还没到那儿。

So she wanted some tiara flowery looking thing and we're traveling in a different country and I wasn't there yet.

当时很为她担心。

And was scared for for her.

每当她穿着更女性化的衣服去学校时，我总是担心会有人对她进行肢体攻击。

Whenever she wore something that presented more feminine to school, I was always like, I was afraid that that someone would physically assault her.

所以我们没买那个。

And so we didn't get it.

然后我们回到家，其实那天是她妹妹的生日，妹妹想打耳洞。

And then we came home, and it was actually her younger sister's birthday who wanted to get her ears pierced.

那你们去哪儿打耳洞呢？

And so where do you go to get your ears pierced?

克莱尔在商场里。

Claire's at the mall.

所以我们觉得这就像个成人礼。

So we were it's like a rite of passage.

然后阿里问，嗯，我能打耳洞吗？

And so Ali asked, well, can I get my ears pierced?

我想了想，好吧。

And I thought, okay.

所以，就打一个？

And so, like, just one?

她却说，不，两个都要打。

And she's like, no, want both.

我就说，那好吧。

And I was like, okay.

于是她两个耳朵都打了洞。

So she got them both pierced.

接着她又问，我能买这个发带吗？

And then she also said, can I get this headband?

我是说，那发带非常非常女性化。

And I mean, it was very, very feminine.

她当时已经穿着薰衣草色的匡威鞋和紫色毛衣，现在又多了发带和耳环。

She And was already wearing at this point her lavender chucks and her purple sweater, and so now we had the headband and the earrings.

我记得走出商场时，她已经开始青春期发育，个子在长高。

And I remember walking out of the mall because she had started puberty, like she was growing.

她当时多大年纪？

And How old was she?

我想那时候她应该在上七年级。

I think she she must have been in seventh grade at this point.

也就是十二三岁。

So twelve, thirteen.

嗯哼。

Uh-huh.

但对其他人来说这已经不可爱了。

But it's not cute anymore for others.

对吧？

Right?

比如，看到一个男孩穿女装并不觉得可爱。

Like, to see a boy dressed as a girl is not cute.

我记得有次在商场里，我走在她前面想观察下周围环境，你知道的，就是确保安全。

And I remember walking through the mall, and I walked ahead of her because I wanted to just kind of survey, like, you know, just keeping safe.

然后我，

And I,

就看到有男人用那种眼神看她，

like, saw men look at her and with this,

像是30岁的男人，我看到两个，先看她一眼又回头盯着，脸上写满了厌恶。

like, 30 year old man, like, I saw two, look at her and then take a double take with this just hate on their face.

我是说，那种表情太明显了，真的很可怕，我不想让她看到。

I mean, could see it and it was really scary and I didn't want her to see it.

我就说，好吧伙计们，我们走吧。

So I'm like, okay, guys, let's go.

我们上车吧。

Let's go get in the car.

我走得有点快。

I was kinda walking fast.

而且，眼泪在往下掉。

Also, tears are falling.

我不想让她看到我难过。

I didn't want her to see that I was upset.

但她是一束光。

But she was a light.

我是说，她真的像一束光。

I mean, she was a light.

我能想象这很复杂，某种程度上，你看到孩子从未如此快乐过，从未看起来这么幸福，但同时你也从未如此为她担心过。

There's something that's complicated, I can imagine, about this being a moment when, in some ways, you're seeing your child who's never felt happier, who's never looked happier, and at the same time, you've never felt more scared for her.

是啊。

Yeah.

让她如此快乐的事情，可能也正是会让她陷入危险的事情。

Like, the thing that makes her so happy is the same thing that might put her in danger.

完全正确。

Absolutely.

嗯。

Yeah.

我想这源于无法保护她的恐惧，说实话，这种恐惧从未消退过。

And it's the I think it's the fear of not being able to protect her, which is honestly like, that fear has never abated.

你该如何保护她？

How do you protect her?

你该如何确保她的安全？

How do you keep her safe?

还有，你如何让她无忧无虑地享受快乐，而不会吓到她，明白吗？

And also, how do you let her live into her joy without scaring her, you know?

在接下来的几年里，艾丽的父母努力让家成为她的安全港湾。

Over the next few years, Ally's parents tried to make home a safe place for her.

他们鼓励她敞开心扉，做真实的自己，分享内心感受。

They encouraged her to open up, to be herself, to share how she was feeling.

但同时他们注意到她正在改变，变得愈发沉默，经常独自待在房间里。

At the same time, they noticed she was changing, growing quieter, spending a lot of time in her room alone.

我感觉和她之间出现了前所未有的隔阂，就像之前说的，多希望能更了解她。

I felt the most disconnected from her than I had ever felt in terms of like what I was talking about earlier, like just wishing I had known her more.

他们让她接受心理治疗，努力保持耐心，但她似乎越来越疏远。

They put her in therapy, tried to be patient, but still she seemed to get more and more distant.

后来她开始在学校出现问题。

Then she started having issues at school.

艾丽一直是个好学生，是那种从不惹麻烦的孩子。

Allie had always been a good student, the kind of kid who never really got in trouble.

但从初中开始，学校电脑上艾丽输入的某些内容开始引发事端，校方多次致电家长。

But starting in junior high, there were a few incidents that began prompting calls to home about what Allie was typing on school computers.

其中有一首是诗。

And one of them was a poem.

她说那不是诗。

She says it wasn't a poem.

读起来却像诗。

It read like a poem.

但这首诗讲述的是没人能真正理解她的感受——她总是戴着微笑面具，让所有人都以为她很快乐，其实她并不快乐，还觉得自己的身体很丑陋。

But this one was about that nobody could ever know how she really felt that she would wear a smile and and everybody needed to think that she was happy, but that she wasn't happy, and her body was ugly.

他们的电脑触发了吠叫警报。

And they have their computers bark alerted.

吠叫警报就像是

Bark alerts is like

学校有一个警报系统，当

a a the school has an alert where

学校的电脑，如果你输入或查询某些内容，就会向校方发出警示信号。

the The school computers, and if you type something in there or look up something, it'll alert the administration that this is alarming.

这已经是她第三次做出触发校长警报的行为了。

And this was the third incident where she had done something that alerted the principal.

所以在她某次惹上麻烦后，我说要检查她的手机。

And so after one of the times she got in trouble, I said, I'm gonna go through your phone.

她对此很不满。

And she didn't like that.

我很少行使这种特权，但开始发现她这一年发给朋友的信息里反复出现'那种感觉又来了'这样的话。

I don't use that privilege a lot, but I started seeing messages to friends that had been happening over the year where she would say, I'm feeling it again.

就是，我只想知道，你在吗？

Like, I just know, are you there?

比如，她会发短信问朋友，他们都在。

Like, she would text her friends and ask, they're there.

所以显然，当她有这些感受时，已经依赖朋友一段时间了。

So apparently, she'd been leaning on her friends for a while when she was feeling these feelings.

她开始用的是一种工具，但上面有个螺丝刀头，我想她是用它来刮自己、割伤自己。

And she started it was a tool, but it had like a screwdriver on it, and I think she was using that to scrape herself, to cut herself.

所以我不断看到她手臂上的这些痕迹，就问，你知道，这些是什么？

So I kept seeing these marks on her arm, and I said, what, you know, what are those?

然后，你知道，她就说，哦，我只是在挠手臂。

And, you know, she was like, oh, I just was scratching my arm.

所以我认为她是

And so I think she was

当然，这一切对艾莉的父母来说非常令人担忧。

It was, of course, all very alarming to Allie's parents.

在家里，他们把她带到卧室，让她坐下，开始询问。

At home, they took her to their bedroom, sat her down, and started asking questions.

她到底发生了什么？

What was actually going on with her?

她给朋友发短信说的这种感觉是什么？

What was this feeling she was texting her friends about?

还有这首不像诗的诗，她真的是这样看待自己身体的吗？

And this poem that wasn't a poem, was this really how she felt about her body?

我记得当时对这首诗有些疑问。

I remember just having questions about the poem.

有人会问我，你知道的，她还好吗？

I get, you know, asked, you know, is she okay?

我是说，这些话在我脑海里挥之不去，因为她描述自己感受的方式听起来很糟糕。

I mean, these are the things were in my head because it sounded awful the way she said she was feeling.

如果...等等，你知道吗？

If and I you know what?

我还想知道，这仅仅是一首诗吗？

I also wanted to know like, is this just a poem?

然后...

And then

在某个时刻，艾莉的妈妈突然明白了。

At a certain point, something clicked for Allie's mom.

她想起了曾读过的关于性别焦虑症的内容。

She remembered this thing she'd read about called gender dysphoria.

就是那种你感受到的性别与生理性别不符的概念。

The idea that the gender you feel doesn't match your biological sex.

于是我开始搜索相关信息，并问她：'你是有这种感觉吗？'

And so I started googling that and said, you know, is this what you're feeling?

我开始逐条念出症状描述，她回答说：'是的'。

And I started reading the symptoms, and she said, yes.

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

然后我们看了看，嗯，怎么说呢，听起来糟透了。

And then we looked at, like, well, how do you it sounded awful.

听起来她像是经历了一次灵魂出窍。

It sounded like she was having an outer body experience.

我有焦虑症，有时会恐慌发作。

And I have anxiety, and I'll get panic attacks sometimes.

当我那样感觉时，就是灵魂出窍的状态。

And when I feel that way, it's when I'm feeling out of body.

我只是不喜欢那种感觉。

I just don't like that feeling.

所以我问她，你多久会有这种感觉？

And so I asked her, like, how often do you feel this way?

她说，从我记事起就一直这样。

And she says, I've felt this way since I can remember.

哇。

Wow.

我当时就想，天啊。

And I just thought, holy cow.

我简直无法想象一辈子都活在那样的感觉里。

Like, I cannot imagine spending my entire life feeling like that.

就在那时我问她，用她/她的代词会让你更自在吗？

And it was at that point that I was like, would you be more comfortable going by sheher pronouns?

她说，是的。

And she said, yes.

就像松了一口气的感觉。

It was just like the sigh of relief.

然后我问，你为什么不告诉我们？

And then I said, why didn't you tell us?

我是说，你知道我们爱你支持你。

Like, I mean, you know we love you and support you.

她说，这种对话实在太尴尬了。

And she said, it's just an awkward conversation to have.

对吧。

Right.

你要让父母坐下来然后说，好吧，就是这样。

You know, to kinda sit your parents down and say, like, okay, this is it.

光是说出这个词就够尴尬了。

Like, just to name it was too awkward.

考虑到她发生的所有事，比如自残行为，你是否曾怀疑过除了性别焦虑还有其他问题？

With everything that was happening with her, you know, the self harm, was there a moment when, for example, you thought maybe there's something other than gender dysphoria going on?

比如是否考虑过可能存在其他心理健康问题？

Like, maybe there's a there are other mental health issues that crossed your mind?

对我来说，现在就是经上说的'凭着他们的果子，就可以认出他们来'。

For me, it was now, so the scripture by the fruits, you will know them.

虽然经文不适用于这次具体对话，但当你看到孩子穿耳洞、戴皇冠、穿裙子去看《芭比》电影时最开心的样子，你会觉得我的孩子在茁壮成长。

I generally not applied to this particular conversation, but, you know, we when you see your child at their happiest when they get their ears pierced or wear a tiara or put on a dress and go to the Barbie movie, and you're like, my my child is flourishing.

那不是什么其他心理健康问题。

And that's not some other mental health thing.

一个人状态良好并不意味着他在心理健康方面有困扰。

That's somebody like flourishing is not a sign of struggling mental health.

是啊。

Yeah.

我是说，我感觉她就像在绳子的另一端，而我怎么都无法把她拉回来。

I mean, I felt like she was on the other end of this rope and I just could not like reel her in.

而且，我就是无法真正靠近她。

And like, I just couldn't get close enough to her.

当这一切在卧室里发生时，她仿佛就站在我身边。

And when all this happened in this bedroom, it was like she was right beside me.

就像我一直在渴望的那样。

Like, the thing that I had been craving.

现在一切都说得通了。

And it made sense now.

这就是原因所在。

Like, that's why.

她必须保持距离，因为她无法在我们面前展现真实的自己。

Like she had to keep her distance because she couldn't be who she really was around us.

她是在保护自己。

And she was protecting herself.

而且我想当那道防线放下时，她立刻就...那感觉来得非常突然。

And and I think when that guard was down, then she was like it was it was immediate.

是的。

Yeah.

而且，就像，我们的生活改变了，因为在那次对话中，我们知道很多事情即将发生变化。

And, like, our life changed because in that conversation, we knew that lots of things were about to change.

不仅仅是代词。

Not just not just pronouns.

因为我妻子，在阿里对代词表现出兴趣后，你说了什么？

Because my wife, after Ali lit up about the pronouns, what did you say?

嗯，你就像，好吧，这是第二个问题。

Well, you're like, all right, here's question two.

是的。

Yeah.

然后立刻，确实说了类似，好吧，你想不想——我甚至不知道我当时怎么称呼它。

And then immediately, did say like, okay, do you want to I don't even know what I called it.

我甚至不确定我是否用了正确的称呼。

I don't even know if I called it the right thing.

但是，你知道，看看激素替代疗法。

But, you know, look at hormone replacement therapy.

然后她说，是的。

And she said, yes.

而且，接着她就容光焕发。

And, and then she was a light.

我是说，你只是——我明白了，就像一切突然都说得通了。

I mean, you just I knew, like I it all clicked.

你是否对如此迅速、立即提供医疗干预的选择有过犹豫？

Did did you have any hesitation about offering up the kind of option of of a medical intervention that quickly, that immediately?

我没有。

I didn't.

你知道，回想起来，这真的不是突然发生的事情。

You know, in hindsight, it really wasn't this like all of a sudden thing.

就像，我们自从她两三岁起就注意到这一点了。

Like, we had noticed this about her since she was, you know, two or three.

对我来说，过去一年里我看到她所经历的挣扎就像是她在经历青春期。

It felt to me like what I had been seeing her struggle with over the past year had been that she was going through puberty.

正是身体的变化——一旦她经历青春期就无法逆转——导致了所有这些不安。

It was the body changing that is unchangeable once she goes through puberty that was causing all of this dysphoria.

我认为她越早开始治疗，青春期就能被暂停得越慢。

What I thought is the sooner she gets on this, then the slower then you know, puberty can be paused.

这样她现在就有时间真正想清楚这件事。

And she now has time to really think this through.

所以我知道要说：'好吧，你想服用激素阻断剂来弄清楚这件事吗？因为至少它可以暂时停止，给你时间思考。'

So what I knew was to say, okay, do you want to get on hormone blockers to like, figure this out, you know, because at least it can stop it for a moment and pause it while you figure this out.

这样是可以的。

Like, that's okay.

就在第二天，艾莉的父母开始行动了。

The very next day, Allie's parents started making moves.

他们为她预约了两个医生：一位是心理治疗师，另一位是她的主治医师。

They made two appointments for her, one with her therapist and one with her doctor.

终于开始做他们认为能帮助她的事，这让人如释重负。

It felt like a relief to finally be doing something they thought would help her.

但在去医院的路上，艾莉的妈妈突然意识到，这个她原以为纯粹是个人问题、家庭私事的事情，即将与政治正面交锋。

But on the way to the doctor, it dawned on Allie's mom that what it felt like a deeply personal issue, a private family matter, that was about to run headlong into politics.

就像，我隐约知道田纳西州有些他们试图通过的法律。

Like, had kinda had known that there had been some laws that they had been trying to pass in Tennessee.

但说实话，真的很难跟得上这些动态。

But honestly, like, it was hard to keep track.

所以我确实记得有些反跨性别法案已经生效，或者至少正在讨论中。

And so I do remember there being some anti trans laws on the books, or at least being up for debate.

于是在去诊所的路上，我就想，你知道吗？

And so on the way to the doctor's office, and I was like, you know what?

我现在仔细想想，其实并不清楚。

I don't and now I think about it.

但我确实记得他们也在辩论这个议题。

I do remember them debating this too.

所以我让她用谷歌搜索一下。

And so I asked her, like, to Google it.

就是搜索'我们能否获得医疗服务'这样的问题。

Like, Google, can we get health care?

哇。

Wow.

你们居然真的在谷歌搜索这件事能不能办成。

You were you were literally googling whether you can get this done.

去医院的路上。

Way to the doctors.

是啊。

Yeah.

在去医院的路上。

On the way to the doctors.

哇。

Wow.

我们马上回来。

We'll be right back.

我是AO·斯科特。

This is AO Scott.

我是《纽约时报》的评论家。

I'm a critic at The New York Times.

如今，电影、书籍、电视节目和歌曲如此之多，让人难以理清头绪。

These days, there are so many movies and books and television shows and songs that it's hard to make sense of it all.

在《纽约时报》，我们评论家的工作就是尽可能多地筛选这些内容，提供建议和推荐，引导你关注那些值得花费时间和精力的作品。

At The New York Times, what the critics do is sort through as much of that as we can to come up with advice, with recommendations, to guide you toward the stuff that's worth your time and attention.

但我们不仅提供指南。

But we don't only offer guidance.

评论家的工作是帮助你理解事物，让你思考电影如何与历史或政治产生联系，歌曲如何激发情感，以及艺术品如何以只有艺术才能做到的奇妙方式照亮世界。

Critics are here to help you make sense of things, to get you thinking about the way a movie connects with history or politics, the way a song opens up emotion, how a piece of art illuminates the world in the magical way that only art can do.

实际上，我和其他评论家的工作与《纽约时报》所有记者每天的努力是同一项事业——为你提供清晰的视角，最重要的是，让你对世界有更深刻的理解。

Really, what I do and what the other critics here do is part of the same project that all of the journalists at The New York Times work on every day to give you clarity and perspective, and above all, a deeper understanding of the world.

当你订阅《纽约时报》时，你获得的不仅是新闻头条，更是事件之间的完整关联。

When you subscribe to The New York Times, it's not just here are the headlines, but here's the way everything fits together.

如需订阅，请访问nytimes.com/subscribe。

If you'd like to subscribe, please go to nytimes.com/subscribe.

艾莉和她的母亲会见了治疗师和医生，双方都认为探索性别肯定护理是个好主意。

Allie and her mom met with the therapist and the doctor, who both agreed that exploring gender affirming care was a good idea.

但他们也证实了这家人的担忧。

But they also confirmed the family's fears.

田纳西州已在2023年禁止对未成年人实施这些治疗。

Tennessee had banned those treatments for minors in 2023.

这项禁令源于多种顾虑，有些涉及道德，有些涉及宗教信仰。

That ban had grown out of a number of concerns, some of them moral, some of them religious.

但医学界内部确实存在关于如何正确治疗这些孩子的争论——是尽早干预，还是等到他们成年。

But there was also a real debate within the medical community over the right treatment for these kids, over whether to intervene as early as possible, or whether to wait until they reached adulthood.

艾莉的医生和治疗师表示，如果这家人想寻求治疗，他们只能去田纳西州以外的地方。

Allie's doctor and therapist said if the family wanted to seek that treatment, they were gonna have to look outside of Tennessee.

于是我回家告诉了丈夫，我们立即开始行动——当时正好临近感恩节。

So I went home and told my husband, and we just started I mean, it was right up on Thanksgiving.

我记得在感恩节假期前，我们就在谷歌搜索能采取什么措施。

So I remember over the Thanksgiving break, like right before it, we were Googling, like, what could you do?

但

But the

问题是艾莉和父母查阅了证据，经过讨论，并开始研究她能在哪里获得治疗。

thing is Ali and her parents reviewed the evidence, talked it over, and started researching where she could get care.

我记得我们俩都想花几天时间去找找看，你知道的，我们各自在佐治亚州试了几个不同的地方。

And so I just remember both of us would like spend a couple of days tracking down, you know, like I tried we each tried a couple different places in Georgia.

我记得他当时好像一直在打电话，跟大概四个人沟通，就为了让这事能成。

I remember he spent like he was on the phone with like four different people, like getting it to happen.

我们让保险公司批准了。

We got insurance to approve it.

我们把所有材料都准备好了，就等着预约了。

We got all of the stuff and then we're ready to make the appointment.

最后联系的那个人却说，哦，我们不能为田纳西州的未成年人提供医疗服务。

And the last person we talked to says, oh, we can't provide care for a youth from Tennessee.

因为你们的法律，我们不允许跨州提供服务，我猜是这样。

We're not allowed to do that border because of of your laws, I guess.

或者我也不太清楚。

Or I don't I don't know.

当时全国半数地区都有类似田纳西州的禁令，所以很多诊所都关门了。

Half the country had bans like the one in Tennessee, and so a lot of clinics had closed.

还在营业的那些诊所预约排得很长，而且很多都不接收14岁的艾莉，觉得她年纪太小。

The ones that were still open had long waiting lists, and many of them wouldn't accept Allie because at 14, she was too young.

他们已经停止接收16岁以下的患者了。

They'd stopped taking anyone under the age of 16.

我们找不到任何愿意为她提供治疗的医生。

We couldn't find anyone who would give care to her.

但后来他们有了转机。

But then they had a breakthrough.

有一家诊所回电了。

One clinic called back.

刚好有人取消了预约，我们才能去就诊，我记得那天是周五，然后我们周一就去了。

And there had been a cancellation, and we were able to go in, like, I think that was on a Friday, and we were able to go in on a Monday.

他们在弗吉尼亚大学

They'd landed a spot at the

的诊所预约到了位置。

clinic at the University of Virginia.

那里距离他们在田纳西州的家有八小时车程。

It was eight hours away from their home in Tennessee.

当时就想，好吧，

It's like, okay.

八小时车程而已，

It's eight hours away.

我们就这么办吧。

That that's what we'll do.