特朗普提议接管加沙，Ko$ta做生意 | 茱莉亚·斯蒂尔斯

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You're listening to Comedy Central.

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喜剧中心最值得信赖的记者团队，这里是美国唯一的新闻来源。欢迎收看《每日秀》节目，您的主持人是戴西·莱纳斯。

the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Linus.

今晚我们有太多话题要讨论。圣地可能正在变成罪恶之城，唐纳德·特朗普重操驱逐房客的旧业，而迈克尔·科斯塔真的急需使用星巴克洗手间。但首先，让我们以唐纳德·J·特朗普再度来袭的新篇章拉开今晚序幕。

We've got too much to talk about tonight. The Holy Land might be turning into Sin City. Donald Trump is back in the eviction business, and Michael Costa really needs to use the Starbucks bathroom. But first, let's kick things off with another installment of the second coming of Donald j Trump.

我会来的。

I'm gonna come.

自特朗普上任以来，他每天用荒谬政策轰炸我们。我们疯狂地试图跟进这些政策，还没等我们喘口气，他又抛出更荒诞的新花样。这令人精疲力竭且不可持续。所以从今天开始，到此为止。

Every day since Trump came into office, he bombards us with ridiculous policies. We go crazy trying to keep up with them. And before we can catch our breath, he hits us with something else even more absurd. It is exhausting and unsustainable. So starting today, no more of that.

明白吗？不再这样了。我手上有整份脚本，全是我想讨论的重要议题，绝不会让唐纳德·特朗普用疯狂新点子分散我的注意力。

Okay? No more. No more. I have a whole script here full of important issues that I wanna talk about, and I'm not gonna let Donald Trump distract me with some crazy new idea.

今晨，一位美国总统提出了令人震惊的提议。唐纳德·特朗普与以色列部长并肩宣布，美国将接管加沙地带。

This morning, a stunning proposal from an American president. Donald Trump with the Israeli minister by his side declaring that The US will take over the Gaza Strip.

美国将接管加沙地带。我们将拥有它。

The US will take over the Gaza Strip. We'll own it.

等等。让我问清楚。什么？还有，什么？

Okay. Let me just ask. What? And also what?

特朗普总统昨晚在与以色列总理本雅明·内塔尼亚胡的新闻发布会上提出了一个令人意外的建议。他说，美国应该接管饱受战争摧残的加沙地带，并将其重新开发成类似海滨度假区的地方。

President Trump made a surprising suggestion last night during a press conference with Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The United States, he said, should take over the war torn Gaza Strip and redevelop it into something like a seaside resort.

我们有机会做一件可能非常了不起的事。我不想开玩笑，也不想耍小聪明，但那里可以成为'中东的里维埃拉'。

We have an opportunity to do something that could be phenomenal. And I don't wanna be cute. I don't wanna be a wise guy, but the Riviera Of The Middle East.

特朗普要把加沙变成里维埃拉？他连把大西洋城变成更好的大西洋城都做不到。天啊。要说的话，他们拆了他那么多赌场，他倒把大西洋城变成了加沙。好吧。

What the Trump is gonna turn Gaza into the Riviera? He couldn't even turn Atlantic City into a nicer Atlantic City. Jesus. If anything, they tore down so many of his casinos, he turned Atlantic City into Gaza. But okay.

他想重建加沙，把它变成海湖庄园。至少巴勒斯坦人还能有个地方回去。

He wants to rebuild it, and he wants to turn it into Mar A Lago. At least the Palestinians will have a place to go back to.

唐纳德·特朗普呼吁永久安置大约200万巴勒斯坦人。

Donald Trump calling for the permanent resettlement of roughly 2,000,000 Palestinians.

我认为人们不应该返回加沙。我觉得加沙对他们来说非常不幸。

I don't think people should be going back to Gaza. I think that Gaza has, been very unlucky for them.

他还表示愿意动用美军来实现这一目标。

And he says he's willing to use the US military to do it.

我们会采取必要措施。如果有必要，我们就会那么做。

We'll do what is necessary. If it's necessary, we'll do that.

好吧，让我确认一下。你的想法是接管加沙，把它改造成海湖庄园，并确保那里的巴勒斯坦人无法回去？这是他自昨天以来、直到明天为止说过的最疯狂的话。连他的幕僚长都震惊了。

Okay. Just so I'm clear. Your idea is to take over Gaza, rebuild it into Mar A Lago, and make sure that the Palestinians who live there can't go back? That is the craziest thing he said since yesterday and until tomorrow. Even his chief of staff was shocked.

看看那个。看看她的脸。她看起来就像刚在格莱美赢得了最佳乡村专辑奖。当然，她很震惊。他实际上是在鼓吹种族清洗。

Look at that. Look at face. She looks just like she won best country album at the Grammy. And, of course, she's shocked. He's effectively advocating for ethnic cleansing.

怎么可能有人会认同这种事？

Who could possibly be okay with that?

你看到了别人拒绝看到的事物，说出了别人不敢说的话。而当众人惊掉下巴、挠头困惑时，他们会说，你知道吗，他——

You see things others refuse to see. You say things others refuse to say. And on after the jaws drop, people scratch their heads, and they say, you know, he's

说得对。不，通常他们只会挠着头问：你他妈在胡说什么？当然，菲比对特朗普的主意欣喜若狂。看看他。

right. No. They usually scratch their heads and they say, what the fuck are you talking about? Of course, Phoebe is ecstatic at Trump's idea. Look at him.

他看起来比在犹太遗产之旅巴士后排打飞机的青少年还开心。但抛开菲比不谈，这个提议让许多人措手不及。特朗普整个竞选都打着'美国优先'的口号，现在却从里维埃拉喊到海边。就连特朗普的共和党盟友也不买账——尽管他们当然得委婉地拒绝他。

He looks happier than a teenager getting a hand job in the back of a birthright bus. But Phoebe aside, this proposal is giving a lot of people whiplash. Trump ran his whole campaign on America first, and now he's out there chanting from the Riviera to the sea. Even Trump's Republican allies aren't on board. Although, of course, they have to let him down easy.

我们正在试图了解细节。这是个出人意料的进展。

We're trying to get the details of it. It was a surprising development.

参议员乔希·霍利表示：'我不认为把大笔资金投入加沙是对美国资源的最佳利用。'

Senator Josh Hawley says, quote, I don't know that I think it's the best use of US resources to spend a bunch of money in Gaza.

我们还听到参议员林赛·格雷厄姆说：'我想大多数南卡罗来纳州民众不会对派美国人接管加沙感到兴奋，这可能会有问题。'汤姆·提利斯或许贡献了

We also heard from senator Lindsey Graham. I think most South Carolinians would probably not be excited about sending Americans to take over Gaza. I think that might be problematic. Tom Tillis likely with the quote of

当晚最佳金句：'这个弹簧玩具恐怕有几处卡壳。'

the night, which was, there are probably a couple kinks in that slinky.

那个弹簧玩具还有几处弯折？这些人为了不公开反对特朗普，已经到了如此饥不择食的地步。他们现在开始胡编谚语了。当然，像史蒂夫·杜西这样的支持者还想给特朗普留点余地。

There's a couple kinks in that slinky? That's how desperate these guys are to not openly disagree with Trump. They're just making up sayings now. Of course, some of his supporters like Steve Doocy are trying to give Trump the benefit of the doubt.

昨晚真是让人大跌眼镜。《纽约邮报》的封面写着‘我们将接管加沙’。我认为这只是个引爆点，你知道，这是对话的开端。因为显然，当总统说‘我们将接管加沙’时，他心知肚明美国不能入侵另一个国家。

It was a jaw dropper last night. The the cover of the New York Post is we'll take over Gaza. I think this is just the tipping you know, this is the the conversation starter. Because, obviously, the the president knows when he says we'll take Gaza. He knows The United States can't invade another country.

美国当然永远不会入侵他国。你可以在史蒂夫·杜西的《美国历史》一书中读到这些，书名是《布西刚给我做了脑叶切除术》。总结来说，MAGA群体觉得这事很悬，他们的眼球认为这简直疯了，整件事除非特朗普能真正与中东国家接触，否则注定失败。而从他回应阿富汗记者的表现来看，我认为他没这个本事。

Of course, America would never invade another country. You can read all about it in Steve Doocy's American history book, Me Just Got Lobotomy by Bucey. So to summarize, MAGA people think this is dicey. Their eyeballs think it's batshit crazy, and the entire is DOA unless Trump can do some real outreach to the countries in The Middle East. And based on his response to reporters from Afghanistan, I don't think he has the skills to do it.

来自阿富汗。我的名字是。

From Afghanistan. My name is.

我是来自你处的高级女性援助者。你有任何改变阿富汗局势的计划吗？

I'm help woman as a high from you. Do you have any plan to change Afghanistan situation?

有点难听懂你的话。你来自哪里？哦。其实我来自——你的声音和口音都很美。唯一的问题是听不懂你在说什么词。

Have a little hard time understanding you. Where are you from? Oh. I'm from actually, it's a beautiful voice and a beautiful accent. The only problem is I can't understand the word you're saying.

但但我只想说，祝你好运。和平生活。祝好

But but I just say this, good luck. Live in peace. Good

幸运。生活在和平中？为什么他听起来像是在向ET告别？地球人民祝你平安。愿你的弹簧玩具没有弯曲。

luck. Live in peace? Why does he sound like he's saying goodbye to ET? The people of Earth wish you peace. May your slinky have no kinks.

关于特朗普和加沙的更多消息，让我们连线白宫的乔丹·克莱珀。乔丹，我是不是漏掉了什么？这个计划看起来太疯狂了。

For more on Trump and Gaza, let's go live to the White House with Jordan Klepper. Jordan, is there something I'm missing? This plan just seems crazy.

没错。也许它并不疯狂。也许它好到听起来疯狂，德西。也许是时候跳出思维定式了。你知道的，人们常说请求原谅比获得许可更容易。

Yep. Maybe it's not crazy. Maybe it's so good it sounds crazy, Desi. Maybe it's time to think outside the box. You know, they say it's better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

但如果我们两样都不做呢？这才是真正的跳出框架思考。好吧。

But what if we did neither, you know? That's outside the box thinking. Okay.

好吧。但提议的内容是战争罪。你考虑过这一点吗？

Okay. But what's being proposed is a war crime. Have you considered that?

我拼命避免去想这个，德西。我宁愿不去思考美国在这件事上的责任。所以我们就当这是头脑风暴阶段吧，没有坏主意。

I'm desperately trying not to, Desi. I'd rather not contemplate American culpability here. So let's just think of this as the brainstorming phase. No bad ideas.

来个两国方案怎么样？

How about a two state solution?

馊主意。好吧。得了吧，德西。认真点。你难道不想把巴勒斯坦人赶出去吗？

Bad idea. Okay. Come on, Desi. Let's be serious here. You don't wanna drive the Palestinians out?

行。那我们把他们抬高。把整个加沙地带架在10英尺高的柱子上，弄成上下铺。巴勒斯坦人在上铺，给下面的以色列人唱摇篮曲。明白吗？

Fine. We'll drive them up. Put the entire Gaza Strip on 10 foot stilts, create a bunk bed situation. Palestinians on top, sing lullabies to the Israelis below. You know?

谁会拒绝上铺？没人会。

Who says no to the top bunk? No one.

但但两国方案的框架已经存在了。没必要搞什么迁移。

But but the framework for a two state solution already exists. There's no need for displacement.

别把它想成迁移，尤其如果你是海牙的检察官。不如这样？听着——我们弄几艘游轮，让巴勒斯坦人去环游世界。几年后他们回来时神清气爽，顶着牙买加小辫子，可能还会用奇怪的法式口音说'可颂'，管电梯叫'升降机'，尽是这些鬼玩意儿。

Don't think of it as displacement, especially if you're a prosecutor at The Hague. Instead, how about this? How about this? Let's get some cruise ships, and the Palestinians can explore the world. After a few years, they can come back refreshed with one of those little Jamaican hair braids, maybe a a weird French accent whenever they say croissant, you know, calling elevators lifts, all that bullshit.

好吧。但之后他们还是回加沙生活？

Okay. But then they go back to live in Gaza?

不。然后他们立刻再上船懂吗？再来次环球之旅，人人都有小辫子。

No. Then they get right back on the boat, you know? Another trip around the world, hair braids for all.

两国方案的想法到底有什么问题？

What was so wrong with the two state solution idea?

得了吧，Desi。如果这个想法一直存在，那现在发生的事就会让我们变成坏人。所以我们还是继续头脑风暴吧，好吗？比如这样：我们把每个以色列人和巴勒斯坦人的脸通过手术互换。

Come on, Desi. If that idea existed the whole time, then what's happening right now would make us the bad guys. So let's just keep spitballing, okay? Here's one. We take every Israeli and Palestinian and surgically swap their faces.

这样他们就分不清谁是谁了，懂吗？你是我妻子还是邻居？我根本认不出来。这样大家就只能和平共处了。

Now they don't know who's who, you know? Are you my wife or my neighbor? I can't tell. Like, guess we'll have to live in peace.

你是在为中东地区推销《变脸》方案吗？好吧。

Are you pitching face off for the Middle East? Okay.

你能从尼古拉斯·凯奇的电影里想出更好的主意吗？最好别让我们背上战争罪的那种。

Do you have a better idea from a Nick Cage movie that doesn't make us complicit in war crimes?

呃，或许我们可以让巴勒斯坦人都爱上雪儿？不不...你这是在拖我下水。

Well, I guess we could get the Palestinians to fall in love with Cher. No. No. You're dragging me into this.

不。我

No. I

我不知道还能做什么，Desi。也许人工智能是解决方案。

I don't know what else to do, Desi. Maybe AI is the solution.

人工智能怎么会是解决方案呢？

How would AI be the solution?

这正是我们要问人工智能的第一个问题。

That's the first thing we'll ask AI.

好吧。不行。这不行。就这样吧。头脑风暴结束了。

Okay. No. That's no. That's it. Brainstorming is over.

这些想法都很愚蠢。不管你喜不喜欢，推平加沙并驱逐那里的所有人并不是真正的解决方案。这很残忍。它不会让我们更安全，而且无疑会让我们看起来像是历史上的恶人。

These are all stupid. And like it or not, bulldozing Gaza and kicking out everyone there is not a real solution. It's cruel. It doesn't make us safer, and it will undeniably make us look like the villains of history.

你知道吗，Desi？你可能是对的，但听我说完。如果巴勒斯坦人偷走了独立宣言呢？

You know what, Desi? You might be right, but hear me out. What if Palestinians stole the declaration of independence?

天啊。快给我滚出去。各位，欢迎回到《每日秀》。如果你想看诚实严谨的财经新闻，那就去吃屎吧。

Oh my god. Get the out of here. Jordan Kleber, everyone. Welcome back to The Daily Show. If you want honest and rigorous financial news, then go eat a dick.

但如果你想发财，那就得看迈克尔·科斯塔在《科斯塔生意经》新一期的表现。没错，

But if you wanna get rich, then you want Michael Costa in another installment of Costa Doing Business. Yeah,

宝贝们。我是迈克尔·科斯塔，这里是《科斯塔生意经》，我会教你们如何赚大钱。今晚的节目由'男士粗口俱乐部'赞助，这是首个专为爱爆粗的老铁打造的会员制俱乐部。'男士粗口俱乐部'，保证让你骂出新高度。事先声明，我是兼职股东，目前经营状况不佳。正因如此，我们更要从这周日超级碗开始狠赚一笔救急钱。

baby. I'm Michael Costa and this is the Costa Doing Business where I teach you how to make fat stacks of stinking cash. So tonight's segment is sponsored by Men's Swear House, the first members only club for guys who love to curse. Men's Swear House, you're gonna shit the way you Now, full disclosure, I'm a part time owner and we aren't doing well. Now, that's all the reason to make a little badly needed money starting with the Super Bowl this Sunday.

不知道你们怎么打算，反正我准备像守财奴斯克鲁奇那样，趴在同事家窗外看他照顾生病的孩子——这可比球赛有意思多了。多亏川普大爷让墨西哥低头认怂，我马上就能把绿油油的菜叶子变成绿油油的钞票。放马过来吧。

I don't know about you, but I plan on watching the game Ebenezer Scrooge style peering into my coworker's window while he cares for his sick child. It's going to be fun. And thanks to big daddy Trump making Mexico bend the knee, I'm gonna be turning some green mash into that green cash. Hit me.

川普与墨西哥达成最后一刻协议，关税将暂停三十天。

Trump struck a last minute deal with Mexico, putting a thirty day pause on those tariffs.

接下来一周牛油果会卖爆。想想看？周日就是超级碗。要是关税生效，零售价至少涨25%，大家的鳄梨酱都得贵不少。

Avocados are gonna sell a lot in the next week. It's what? Sunday, the Super Bowl. So if that tariff had hit, the retail price would have jumped up at least 25%, and everybody's guacamole would have been that much more expensive.

没错。免关税意味着牛油果会比快腿冈萨雷斯还抢手。但你们该对鳄梨酱产业链全线看好。当然啦，我囤了几千个牛油果赌贸易战必开打，结果现在老爹我在西考克斯的仓库都快被牛油果撑爆了。告诉你们，这玩意儿烂得可快了——说到这个，本节由'米格尔·科斯塔牌褐鳄梨酱'赞助播出。

That's right. No tariffs means avocados are gonna be flying off the shelves faster than speedy Gonzales. But you should be bullish on all things guacamole mole mole. Of course, I'm I bought thousands of avocados thinking there would definitely be a trade war, so now daddy's got a U Hole full of avocados parked in Secaucus. And let me tell you something, they're rotten pretty fast, which reminds me, this segment is sponsored by Miguel Costa's Brown Guac.

懂？虽然颜色像屎但味道绝佳。就知道你们会喜欢。言归正传，这周市场太疯狂，我手机消息提示音都快把挂钩震掉了。

Okay? It's as tasty as it is brown. I knew you would love it. Moving on. It's been a crazy week in the market and my phone is chitchat chinging off the his his his hook.

贸易战打响了。贸易战没打。市场涨了。又跌了。但正如我常说的，波动意味着利润。

There's a trade war. There's not a trade war. The market's up. It's down. But as I but as as I always say, volatility means profitability.

冻结。币。

Freeze. Coin.

这句话被创造出来了。在恐慌弥漫的氛围中，没有哪家公司比星巴克爸爸更会利用这一点了。我说，给我来一杯。

That phrase is coined. And with panic in the air, no company is capitalizing on that more than daddy Starbucks. I said, hit me.

现在如果你想使用星巴克的洗手间或只是在那里闲逛，你必须先消费。星巴克CEO表示，此举旨在恢复近年来逐渐消失的咖啡馆氛围。

You now need to buy something at Starbucks if you want to use the bathroom or just hang out there. Starbucks CEO says the goal is to bring back the coffee house vibe that's diminished in recent years.

干得漂亮，星巴克。更多地方需要采取类似措施来应对闲逛问题，比如我当地的公园。嘿，伙计，要么买棵树要么滚出去，懂吗？但说真的，这是个天才的新商业模式。人们需要解决内急。

Hell yeah, Starby. More places need to do stuff like this to fight loitering, like my local park. Hey, buddy, buy a tree or get the out, all right? But seriously, this is a genius new business model. People need to take dumps.

那怎么办？让他们买咖啡，然后猜怎么着？咖啡会让他们更需要上厕所，这意味着他们得再买一杯咖啡。明白了吗？转眼间他们就会因为喝了400杯咖啡住在星巴克洗手间外的帐篷里。

So what do you do? Make them buy coffee, which guess what? Makes them need to take a dump of more, which means they need to buy another coffee. Get it? Next thing you know, they're 400 coffee dumps deep living in a tent outside the Starbucks bathroom.

这就是为什么我给这个举措打'迈克喜欢'的评分。好了，现在继续。'迈克喜欢'。本周最大的新闻之一是鸡蛋价格上涨。

That's why I'm rating this move a Mikey Likey. Okay? Now, yeah, moving on. A Mikey Likey. One of the biggest stories of the week is the rising price of eggs.

如果你像我确信的那样定期收看这个节目，你可能已经听我说过几次了。过来。过来。过来。我保证鸡蛋价格会在二月份下跌。

Now if you watch this program regularly like I'm sure you do you might have heard me say this a few times ago. Come here. Come here. Come here. I guarantee egg prices will drop come February.

你可以把全部家当押在这上面。人们说，但是科斯塔，禽流感越来越严重了。那又怎样？鸡不是鸟。它们是鸡，你们这些用嘴呼吸的白痴。

You can bet the farm on it. People say, but Costa, the bird flu is getting really bad. So what? Chickens aren't birds. They're chickens, you mouth breathing imbeciles.

好吧。原来鸡是鸟类。行吧。我不是鸟类医生。我是人类。

Alright. So it turns out chickens are birds. Fine. I'm not a bird doctor. I'm a human.

既然我现在知道了这一点，让我们来赚点钱吧。

And now that I know this, let's make some money.

今晨，鸡蛋价格飙升。一打鸡蛋的平均价格现已超过5美元。在一些地方市场，价格高达19美元。最主要的原因是禽流感。根据美国农业部的价格展望，预计今年鸡蛋价格还将上涨20%。还出现了鸡蛋短缺，导致购物者争相抢购现有库存。

This morning, egg prices soaring. The average price for a dozen eggs, now more than $5. And in some local markets, prices are as high as $19 The biggest reason, bird flu. According to the USDA's price outlook, egg prices are predicted to increase another 20% this year. There have also been egg shortages, leaving shoppers racing to gobble up what's available.

你们抓到我了。鸡蛋价格疯了。说真的，我该怎么办？为了做个煎蛋卷还得去贷款吗？我该怎么办？

You got me. Egg prices are nuts. Seriously, what do I gotta do? Take out a mortgage just to make an omelet? What do I gotta do?

卖掉我的车去买个意大利煎蛋饼？我该怎么办？假装是富孀贝尔维德尔早已去世的丈夫，终于从朝鲜战场归来？然后在她海绵擦浴的某个夜晚，我偷偷溜走，把自己写进她的遗嘱。但当我伪造她签名时，我发现，在那些皱纹和皮赘背后，藏着我所见过最善良、最温柔的灵魂。

Sell my car so I can buy a frittata? What do I gotta do? Pretend to be the long dead husband of the wealthy widow Belvedere, finally back from the Korean War? Then one night in the middle of her sponge bath, I sneak off and write myself into her will. But as I'm forging her name, I realize behind all those wrinkles and skin tags lies the kindest, gentlest soul I've ever met.

可当我冲进浴室想对她说我爱她时，她已经死了。有人把她独自留在浴缸里，她就这么死了。就为了省下几个墨西哥煎蛋的钱？哎，真是造孽啊。这完全失控了。

But when I rush into the bathroom to tell her I love her, she's dead. Someone left her in the tub alone, and she's dead. Just to afford a few huevos rancheros? I mean, ay qui ramba. It's out of control.

但别担心，书呆子们。高价格意味着高回报。这就是为什么我超级看好梯子。懂吗？它能帮你爬树偷秃鹫窝里的蛋，所以我还准备大量囤积药膏和绷带——因为我常说，秃鹫妈妈可不会跟你客气。

But don't worry, eggheads. With high prices comes high purtunity. That's why I'm hella bullish on ladders. Okay? They help you climb trees so you can steal eggs from a buzzard's nest, which means I'm also going all in on ointment and bandages because as I always say, mama buzzard don't play like that.

听着，我知道鸡蛋价格会搅得你账户一团糟。你的底线正在被水煮，但嘿，要是觉得蛋价疼，试试花钱冷冻妻子的卵子后，眼睁睁看着新丈夫布莱克让它们受精吧。只能说发现这事时我可一点都'蛋'定不起来。最近睡眠糟透了。好了，本期《科斯塔生意经》到此结束。

Now look, I know egg prices can really scramble your bank account. Your bottom line is getting poached, but hey, you think these egg prices are painful, you should try paying to freeze your wife's eggs and then watching your new husband Blake fertilize them. Let's just say I wasn't too egg cited to find out about that. I've been sleeping like shit. Well, that's all for this edition of Costa doing business.

我是迈克尔·科斯塔，提醒您金钱买不到幸福。祝大家情人节快乐。谢谢

I'm Michael Costa reminding you that money can't find happiness. Have a great Valentine's Day, everybody. Thank

你，迈克尔。稍后回来时，朱莉娅·斯蒂尔斯将加入我们。欢迎回到《每日秀》。今晚的嘉宾是艾美奖和金球奖提名演员，她正以电影《愿你在此》首次执导长片。有请朱莉娅·斯蒂尔斯。

you, Michael. When we come back, Julia Stiles will be joining us. Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is an Emmy and Golden Globe nominated actor who's making her feature directorial debut with the film Wish You Were Here. Please welcome Julia Stiles.

欢迎来到节目。

Welcome to the show.

天啊！太让人兴奋了。我感谢上帝赐予这个节目。你们太棒了。能来这里我激动极了。

Oh my god. It is so exciting. I thank god for this show. You guys are great. And I'm so excited to be here.

我们

We

非常激动能邀请到您。您是标志性人物，参演过各种经典电影，《我恨你的十件事》、《乌云背后的幸福线》、《饥饿游戏》系列，还有我最爱的成长题材电影《舞女大盗》。哦，没错。

are so excited to have you. You are iconic. You've been part of all kinds of iconic movies, 10 things I hate about you. Silver Linings Playbook, the Born franchise, and my favorite coming of age film, Hustlers. Oh, yes.

是的。但这是您首次执导长片，恭喜您。谢谢。您。这个故事太美好了。

Yes. But this is the first time that you've directed a feature, so congratulations. Thank you. You. It's such a beautiful story.

这部电影是如何诞生的？您职业生涯中是否有某个顿悟时刻，让您下定决心要亲自执导一部属于自己的电影？

How how did this film come about? Was there a point in your career when things sort of clicked into focus and you thought, I really wanna direct a movie a movie of my own?

是的。其实我很久以来一直想当导演，只是苦于找不到合适的故事。大约五年前疫情期间，片中的一位女演员给我寄了这本书。她直接在Instagram私信里联系我，说听说您对导演感兴趣，要不要看看蕾妮·卡利诺的这本小说？

Yeah. I mean, I I have been wanting to direct for a really long time. Kind of active just couldn't find the right story. And I I it wasn't it was about five years ago during the pandemic that one of the actresses in the movie sent me this book. And she actually, she slid into my DMs on Instagram and was like, I heard you're interested in directing and what about Renee Carlino's book?

后来她又通过我的经纪人正式寄来信件。我读完这本书就爱上了，它让我产生了强烈的生理反应——又哭又笑，那种泪中带笑的畅快哭泣，最后让人感到幸福。我当时就想：这就是我要讲的故事。这成为推动我行动的契机，想着：是时候了。毕竟我演戏多年，待过无数片场。

Then she went through my agent and sent me a letter and and I read the book and I loved it and it would that I was I had a visceral reaction to it. I laughed, I cried. I laughed through my tears like that good cry that makes you feel happy at the end And of I thought this is the story that I wanna tell, and that was the the catalyst for making me go, okay. Now's the time. I mean, I've been acting for a long time, and I've been on lots of film sets.

终于觉得：现在我想掌握主导权了。这样合适吗？我能做到吗？当然，您早就深谙此道了。

So it finally felt like, okay, now I wanna be in the driver's seat. Is that okay? Can I do that? Okay. And of course, you've been here.

你要上床休息了吗？我...我必须说，因为最近我一直在为这部电影做很多宣传，我简直无法抑制自己的兴奋。我们花了五年时间才完成这部电影的改编、融资、选角并投入制作。我们正准备开拍，结果演员工会罢工了。最终我们完成了这部电影，我太爱它了，简直不敢相信自己现在能站在这里。

Are you gonna be bed? I'm I I have to say, like, because I've been doing I've been doing a lot of promotion for the movie, and I have to just, like I can't contain my excitement. I it took us five years to get the movie adapted, financed, cast, into production. We're about to go and start shooting, and then the SAG strike happened. We finally made the movie, and I love this movie so much, and I just can't believe that I'm here.

噢。这是你应得的，所有的付出都得到了回报。效果真的很明显。这是个关于青春爱情的故事，是部带有喜剧元素的美丽浪漫剧。

Oh. You deserve it and all of the work paid off. It really shows. This is a story about young love. It's a beautiful romantic drama with comedic moments.

在出演这类电影时，你有没有发现什么让你觉得'我真的很想以不同方式处理'的地方？

Was there anything that that you discovered acting in those types of films that you thought, I really wanna do this differently?

我的意思是，我确实特别注意避免让这类电影变得过于甜腻或俗套，我对这点非常警惕。我尽量保持它的真实和接地气。但最初打动我的是原著中主角们虽然很年轻，但他们的爱情故事却成熟得多，触及更深层的东西。你知道，大多数青春爱情片都集中在比如一见钟情或恋爱初期阶段，暗恋某人这样的情节。而这部作品里，他们玩了个游戏——女孩会向男孩讲述他们相伴一生的爱情故事，就像一对老夫妇在回忆共同度过的岁月。

I mean, I definitely my radar for, like, keeping a movie like this from being saccharine or corny, like, my radar was up for that. I tried to keep it as grounded and real as possible. But the thing that struck me even initially about the book is that the main characters are very young, but their love story is so much more mature and and touches on things that are a lot deeper. You know, most movies that are about young romance are mostly focused on, like, love at first sight or the initial stages of a relationship, you know, having a crush on someone. And this one, they play this game with each other where the the girl will tell him the story of their lifelong love affair together as though they're an older couple looking back on a lifetime of memories together.

所以它引发了许多更具普遍性的深层议题，比如死亡，以及我们多么幸运能与某人共创一生的回忆，彼此联结，共度人生。

So it brings up a lot of, you know, more universal kind of deeper issues like mortality and how we how we should be so lucky to create a lifetime of memories with someone and and connect with them and and have a life together.

确实如此。女主角与这位年轻男子有过一个魔幻时刻，那就像是个旋风般的浪漫夜晚。然后他突然消失了。嗯。

It does. And the the lead character has this magical moment with this young man. It it it's sort of like a a whirlwind romance evening. And then he ghosts her. Mhmm.

结果发现他消失是有正当理由的。

It turns out he has a good reason for ghosting her.

这是个相当充分的理由。他在医院里。嗯哼。

It's a pretty good reason. He's in in the hospital. Uh-huh.

是啊。

Yeah.

他病得很重。没错。我是说，我觉得这理由可以接受。

He's very sick. Yeah. I mean, think that's that gets a pass.

所以你是说，那些年所有突然消失的男人，很可能都有正当理由

So you're saying you're saying all of the men who have ghosted me over the years, there's probably a great reason for

对啊。也许吧。谁知道呢。嗯。

Yeah. Maybe. You never know. Yeah.

谁知道呢。你有没有

You never know. Have you

被人突然断联过？我觉得我是那种不可能被冷处理的人，因为如果你不回我短信，我会一直发到你回复为止。而且内容会越来越长，变成大段大段的'我知道你听得见，这就是我的感受。你到底在哪？'

ever been ghosted? I think that I'm the kind of person that it would be impossible to ghost me because if you don't respond to my text messages, I will not stop texting you until you do. Like and and they'll get they'll get longer. They'll be like paragraphs of like, I know you can hear me, and this is how I feel about it. Where are you?

是啊。

Yeah.

我知道你，嗯。你为什么，你的通知关了吗？

I know you're, yeah. Why are you, are your notifications turned off?

对。

Right.

嗯，嗯，我完全理解。我，你提到的一点让我很欣赏，就是作为母亲的经历帮助了你成为一名导演。

Yeah, yeah, I totally get that. I, one of the things that I appreciated that you mentioned was that your experience as a mother helped you as a director.

是的。没错。我很快就在片场意识到，我能做到这个，因为你必须得运转起来。

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I realized pretty quickly on set. I was like, I can do this because you have to operate.

我有三个小孩，你得在睡眠严重不足的情况下运作。你得同时处理多项任务，提前规划十步，又得活在当下，管理大家的饥饿程度。比如，该安排个零食休息时间了。这不是说演员和工作人员像小孩一样，我的意思是你必须照顾到每个人的需求。

I have three little kids and you have to operate with very little sleep. You have to multitask. You have to think 10 steps ahead, but also be in the present moment, manage people's hunger levels. Like, let's take a snack break. And that's not to say that actors and crew members are like little kids, but I just mean that you have to be looking out for everybody's needs.

是啊。不，他们就是。好吧，他们就是小孩子。我们都是小孩子。演员和小孩都很情绪化，自己都上不了厕所。

Yeah. No, they are. Well, they are little kids. We're we're little kids. They are very actors and children are both very temperamental, can't go potty by themselves.

没错。总是需要更多镜头时间。所以我完全理解这一点。这部电影里与你合作的伊莎贝尔·弗尔曼，你们在《孤儿怨》中就合作过。是的。

Right. Always need more screen time. So I that makes perfect sense. Your lead in this movie, Isabelle Furman, you worked with on Orphan. Yes.

对吧？不，剧透警告，她在片中扮演一个假装成你10岁女儿的30岁精神病患者。这次片场的氛围很不同吧？是的，

Correct? No, spoiler, she plays a 30 year old psychopath in that movie pretending to be your 10 year old daughter. Different vibes on this set? Yes,

完全不同。我是说，首先因为当我向人们解释我饰演伊莎贝尔的母亲时，她其实是在假装小女孩。是的。但那是一部非常黑暗的恐怖片。

totally. I mean, first of all, because I'm like, I was when I explained to people that I met Isabelle playing her mother, I'm like, whatever. Was pretending to be a little girl. Yes. But, yeah, it was a very dark horror movie.

而我演的是个反社会者，剧透预警。但我们在《愿你在此》片场愉快多了。在悲剧发生前有很多轻松搞笑的时刻来吸引观众。

And I played a sociopath, spoiler alert. But we had a lot more fun on Wish You Were Here. There's a lot of moments of levity and silliness to kind of suck you in before the tragedy happens.

是的。这是个更加轻松美好的故事。你还与好友瓦妮莎·卡尔顿合作了电影配乐？

Yes. Much, much lighter, more beautiful story. You got to work with a close friend of yours on the score of the film, Vanessa Carlton?

对。我超级热爱为这部电影配乐的过程，我们选用了很多现成歌曲，我有个播放列表直接拿来用。但我和瓦妮莎从高中就认识，我们的友谊经历了人生各个阶段。比如她发行《千里之外》时，差不多也是《我恨你的十件事》上映的时候。那时我们都在事业上取得成功，却同时感到这种渴望已久的东西突然降临反而让人害怕，而且没多少人能理解。

Yeah. I I loved loved loved putting music to this film, and we sourced a lot of existing songs that I had a playlist that we put in and and but Vanessa and I have known each other since high school. And I know that she we've stayed friends through all different walks of life. Like, really when a thousand miles came out and it was around the same time that I think 10 Things I Hate About You came out. And so we were both having success in our careers and kind of like, what is this thing that we've wanted for so long, but it's kind of scary and not many people understand it.

后来我们经历二十多岁的恋爱、组建家庭。我知道她一直——在事业起伏中——渴望为电影配乐很久了。这是她参与的第一部电影。所以当我有机会时立刻联系了她，她和丈夫约翰·麦考利（来自乐队Deer Tick）共同创作了极其动人的音乐。

And then, you know, dating in our twenties and having families. And I know that she had always and career ups and downs. She had wanted to score a film for a really long time. This is the first film that she's done. So, of course, when I had the opportunity, reached out to her and she wrote, like, beautiful, beautiful music with her husband John McCauley who is from the band Deer Tick.

他们俩的组合就像是，你知道的，一对夫妇为一部关于夫妇的电影创作音乐。他有着那种低沉、充满男性气概的音乐风格，而她则用钢琴演绎出令人惊叹的作曲。我感觉自己太幸运了。

And the combination of the two of them is like, you know, they're a couple writing music about for a movie about a couple. And he's got like this grovelly, you know, kind of masculine musical vibe and she's got her piano, amazing piano composition. I feel so lucky.

对你们俩来说这真是完美的合作。我很好奇，你作为年轻女演员出道时，社交媒体还未真正兴起。现在每个新出道的演员都在社交媒体上活跃，平台众多，分享频繁，个人生活几乎完全公开。你会不会回想起来觉得庆幸，幸好当时没有这些？

It was such a perfect collaboration for the two of you. I'm curious, you came up as a young actress, teenager in in the world before social media was really a thing. Now every actor that's coming up is on social media. There there are platforms and sharing and it's so it's like your personal life is so out there. Do you look back and go, thank God, I didn't have that?

天啊，当然会。不是因为我有值得发布的内容，而是因为我会被折磨得够呛。即便是现在，我也在努力适应那个世界。昨天我花了整整两小时发布、删除、再发布，反复纠结配文，最后发现只是因为照片对齐有问题——我这个成年书呆子的强迫症让我备受煎熬。所以我很庆幸年轻时不必面对这些，真的太耗费精力了。

Oh my God, yes. I mean, not because not because I was doing anything that would have been worthy of posting. It's just because I would have been so tortured. Like, even now, I'm trying to navigate that world. And I literally spent like two hours yesterday posting and then deleting and reposting and then second guessing my caption and then and it was all because the alignment of a picture wasn't right like the nerd in me is as a grown up is so tortured that I'm glad that when I was younger, didn't have to deal with that it's a lot of

这确实需要大量工作，你作为导演的特质也体现在这里，正因如此你的电影才如此精美。我迫不及待想看到你的下一部作品，《性爱》恭喜了。

work it is a lot of work that that is the director in you too and that's why your film is so beautiful and I can't wait to see what you do next congratulations of sex.

某常见食材价格的飞涨可能会打乱部分菜单安排。

The soaring cost of one common ingredient could scramble some menus.

本地餐厅老板如何应对鸡蛋通胀。

How local restaurant owners are dealing with eggflation.

鸡蛋通胀率上涨了37%。

Eggflation was up 37.

鸡蛋通胀？鸡蛋通胀。

Eggflation? Eggflation.

这就是鸡蛋通胀。

That's eggflation.

鸡蛋通胀。价格高得离谱。

Eggflation. The prices are through the cope.

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Paramount播客。

Paramount Podcasts.