你能成为一个"务实"的乐观主义者吗？

这里是iHeart播客。欢迎收听《解码女性健康》。我是伊丽莎白·波因特医生，纽约市阿德里亚健康研究院女性健康与妇科主任。在本节目中，我将与顶尖研究人员和临床医生对话，解答你们迫切关注的问题，将关于女性健康及中年期的信息直接传递给你们。

This is an iHeart podcast. Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Doctor. Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. On this show, I'll be talking to top researchers and top clinicians, asking them your burning questions and bringing that information about women's health and midlife directly to you.

百分之百的女性都是你。

A hundred percent of women you.

人们常提到的症状类型是遗忘一切。我以前从不会忘事。他们一方面担心自己患有痴呆症，另一方面又在想：我是不是有注意力缺陷多动症？

The types of symptoms that people talk about is forgetting everything. I never used to forget things. They're concerned that one, they have dementia, and the other one is do I have ADHD?

大麻和大麻素在改善睡眠、减轻疼痛、调节情绪以及提升日常生活质量方面展现出前所未有的潜力。

There is unprecedented promise with regard to cannabis and cannabinoids to sleep better, to have less pain, to have better mood, and also to have better day to day life.

欢迎在任意播客平台收听伊丽莎白·波因特医生主持的《解码女性健康》。

Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Doctor. Elizabeth Poynter wherever you get your podcasts.

普希金。无可回避的是，生活有时残酷到令人窒息。糟糕的事情总在发生——无论是突发的健康问题、新的情感困境，还是职场上的严峻消息。有时这些困境源于我们自身的行为选择，有时则与我们毫无瓜葛。

Pushkin. There's no way around it. Sometimes life is tough, awful even. Bad things happen all the time, whether it's an unanticipated health problem, a new relationship woe, or dire news on the job. Sometimes these nasty circumstances result from our own behaviors and choices, and sometimes they have nothing to do with us whatsoever.

每天都有人们成为随机事故、自然灾害甚至无端袭击的受害者。经历此类不幸事件后，人们很容易感到崩溃。当境遇真正糟糕时，你甚至开始怀疑自己能否重拾生活碎片。能回到迈阿密这座美丽城市实在太棒了，

Every day, people become the victims of random accidents, natural disasters, or even unprovoked attacks. In the aftermath of awful events like these, it's easy to feel upset and broken. And when things are really bad, you can even start wondering whether you'll be able to pick up the pieces of your life again. It is so fabulous to be back in Miami in this beautiful city and

与你共赏这美好天气

this beautiful weather with you beautiful

今年春天，我受邀在迈阿密世界幸福峰会上主持一场讨论，这让我有机会采访一位毕生致力于帮助生活遭受重创的人们的专家。非常感谢。见到这群出色的观众，真是令人无比兴奋。

This spring, I was invited to host a discussion at the World Happiness Summit in Miami, and that gave me the chance to interview someone who's dedicated her career to helping people whose lives have been impacted in awful ways. Thank you so much. Meet this amazing audience. It's, like, so excited to see you.

能来到这里我激动万分。

I am so excited to be here.

这位是精神科医生苏·瓦尔玛博士。苏曾是纽约大学世贸中心心理健康项目的首任医疗主任，为9·11事件中受影响的人们提供治疗。如今，她将数十年工作积累的洞见汇集成新书《实用乐观主义：卓越幸福的艺术、科学与实践》。书中，苏探讨了应对人生困境的策略，她最重要的建议是培养一种特殊的乐观主义——她称之为‘实用乐观主义’。

This is psychiatrist doctor Sue Varma. Sue was the first medical director at the World Trade Center Mental Health Program at NYU, where she treated people caught up in the attacks of nine eleven. Sue has now gathered her insights from decades of this kind of work into a new book called practical optimism, the art, science, and practice of exceptional well-being. In the book, Sue explores strategies we can use to deal with the difficult chapters in life. And her biggest recommendation is to adopt a particular form of optimism, what she calls practical optimism.

在我看来，乐观主义能带来从头到脚的好处。但归根结底，乐观主义是一种思维方式。

To me, optimism has head to toe benefits. But at the end of the day, what optimism is is a mindset.

世界幸福峰会（我们简称Wahasu）是个精彩绝伦的活动。如果你喜欢这期播客，参加Wahasu绝对会让你嗨翻天。但由于演讲者众多，我只来得及与苏探讨她工作的冰山一角，因此请她专门为你们录制了更完整的访谈。

The World Happiness Summit or Wahasu as we call it, is an amazing event. If you like this podcast, you would have an absolute blast at Wahasu. But with so many speakers scheduled, I only had time to chat with Sue about a tiny part of her work. So I asked her to record a fuller interview just for you.

很高兴见到你。这是我的荣幸，非常期待。

Nice to see you. My pleasure. Looking forward to it.

于是我把她拉回Zoom和我一起连线。

So I got her back to join me on Zoom.

嗯，我都可以配合你的安排。做完整期节目也没问题，真的。

Yeah. I'm fine with whatever works for you. I don't mind doing, like, a full episode. Yeah.

然后从头开始，听她讲述2001年9月11日早晨的经历。

And began at the beginning with her story of the morning of 09/11/2001.

911那天，我还是个医学生，在纽约一家医院实习。我记得接到通知说，要尽可能让病情稳定的病人出院，因为需要腾出床位接收即将送来的伤员。我们照做了，然后就是漫长的等待——但最终根本没等到预想中的大批伤患，因为死亡人数实在太高了。

So, you know, on 09:11, I was a medical student, and I was working in a New York City hospital. And I remember getting the call to say, you know, discharge as many healthy ish people as you can because we need to make beds for people who are gonna be coming in who are injured. And we did that, and we waited and waited and waited. And we just simply didn't see the kind of numbers that we were thinking because the death toll was so high.

你还记得第一次听说世贸中心遇袭时自己在哪儿吗？比如当时已经在上班，从电视上看到的？

Do you remember where you were when you first, like, heard about the towers? Like, were you already, like, at work and saw it on TV or something?

记得。我们凌晨5点就上班了，所以事发时我已工作了三个多小时。我们看着直播画面里飞机撞楼、双子塔倒塌，太超现实了。我弟妹当时就在下城的世贸中心上班。

Yes. I remember, like, we would come in at 5AM. So I'd already been there for, like, three plus hours when we were hearing the news and seeing it live as the towers were coming down and as a plane crashed. So, you know, it it was freakish. And I remember, like, you know, my sister-in-law was working downtown in 09:11.

太多亲友当时都在那片区域，可谁都联系不上——电话根本打不通。我们确实失去了挚爱和友人。到处都是人们被困在尘雾中、目睹有人跳楼、遭遇踩踏的故事。之后几天，我和同事们以各种方式参与志愿工作：协助急救人员、清理现场、搜救、停尸房遗体辨认，还接受了创伤救治培训。

So many friends and family members were somehow down and around there, and we couldn't get through to anybody. Like nobody was answering the phone. And we did lose loved ones, friends. I mean, were so many stories of people getting caught in the dust cloud, seeing people jump out of the buildings, getting trampled on. And in the days after myself and my colleagues, we volunteered in a variety of ways with first responders, with cleanup, rescue, recovery at the morgue, getting trauma training.

你知道，作为一个土生土长的纽约人，这里是我认同的地方。我认为无论你身处美国还是世界何处，很多人都会感到某种联系和创伤，这是理所当然的。那场灾难是毁灭性的。说到创伤，它让你永远不再是原来的自己——有一个事件前的你，和一个事件后的你。

You know, being a New Yorker my whole life, like this is a place I identified with. I think no matter where you were in the country or in the world, think a lot of people felt somehow connected and traumatized, rightfully so. It was devastating. You know, when I think of trauma, like you're never left the same. There's a you before it and then there's a you after it.

当我想到大规模灾难和恐怖主义时，它们本质上是为了侵蚀你的士气、自我认知、对世界的信心和信任。而我在'纽约坚强'这个概念中看到的，是巨大悲剧有时能激发出坚韧、顽强和社区精神——虽然并非总是如此。直到多年后，当我完成纽约大学精神病学住院医师培训，被招募担任这个我毫无准备却深感荣幸的角色时，才真正体会到这一点。这是一项浩大的工程，一个全新的项目。

When I think of mass disasters and terrorism, it's really intended to chip away at your morale and your sense of self and your sense of confidence and trust in the world. And so what I saw in, you know, this whole concept of, you know, New York Strong, it really to me came from this idea that great tragedy, not always, but sometimes can bring out a sense of grit and toughness and community. And it wouldn't be until years later after I'd finished my residency training at NYU in psychiatry to be recruited for this role that I really didn't feel prepared for, but felt so honored to be considered and thought of for it. And, you know, it was a massive effort. It was a new program.

刚加入时，我记得初期情况是这样的：名单上有几百名患者需要治疗，包括急救人员和普通市民。我当时想：太好了，我们有多少精神科医生？六七个？

And so when I came on, you know, I remember the early days, they're like, there's several 100 patients who are on our list. You're going to be treating first responders and civilians. And I was like, great. How many psychiatrists do we have? Like six, seven?

结果他们说：不，只有你一个人。我开玩笑说：这责任太重大了。他们回答：不。

They're like, no. It's just you. I joked. I'm like, these are big shoes to fill. And they're like, no.

不，不，你需要自带鞋子——因为这里根本没有现成的鞋子。这是首个此类项目，虽然令人畏惧、充满挑战，但最终变得极其有意义且收获丰厚。

No. No. You're bringing your own shoes because there are no shoes. Like, this is the first program of its kind. So incredibly daunting, challenging, but eventually extremely meaningful and rewarding.

但据我理解，你其实有位榜样——一个以乐观态度应对困境的人。我想到你在书中提到的某位家人。能说说你父亲给你的激励故事吗？

But you had, if I understand, I I kind of someone to look up to who'd who'd kind of dealt with difficult situations with optimism. I'm thinking about someone in your family that you talked about in your book. Tell me the story of the inspiration that your dad was giving you.

我父亲至今仍是我的灵感源泉。他快90岁了，但外表、行为和思维都像年轻了至少二十岁。他是我认识的最善良、敏锐且健康的人之一。他有着惊人的韧性——1930年代末出生于印度贫寒之家，经历了数十年的创伤与悲剧。

So, you know, my dad still is an inspiration. Like, he's gonna be close to 90 soon, and he literally looks and acts and thinks twenty years younger, if not more. And one of the kindest, sharpest, and healthiest people that I know. There's such resilience. You know, he came from very little in India and, you know, he was born in late nineteen thirties and has seen so many decades of trauma and tragedy.

我从他身上学到的东西，他总是说简朴生活，高尚思考。这是我们家的座右铭。我常拿这个开玩笑，我说，爸，你为什么总是笑？为什么总是那么开心？

And the things that I take away from him, you know, he would always say simple living and high thinking. And this was a big saying in my family. I Then always make fun of him. I was like, but dad, why are you always laughing? Why are you always smiling?

特别是现在，有什么值得这么感恩的？他会说，你可以选择笑，也可以选择哭。有时候他甚至会自己讲笑话给自己听，在脑海里编故事，不是妄想症那种，就是单纯地笑。

Like, what is there to be like, especially now? Like, what is there to be so grateful for? He's like, I mean, you can laugh or you can cry. I mean, you make the choice. He's always sometimes, like, laughing at his own jokes in his own head, telling himself stories, not in delusional way, just like laughing.

我说，爸，你那时候连电都没有，自来水也没有。他却说，你在胡说什么？我们在屋顶开舞会、睡衣派对，骑骆驼，用煤油灯。我就说，那是因为你们没电啊老爸。

And I was like, but dad, you didn't have electricity. You didn't have running water. He's like, what are you talking about? We had, like, dance parties and slumber parties on the rooftop and camel rides and, you know, hurricane lamps. I'm like, that's because you had no electricity, dad.

他说生活棒极了。生活棒极了。他说，关键是你想怎么看它？你想怎么讲述自己的故事？今天早上我还看见他站在那里切水果。

He's like, life was great. Life was great. He's like, how do you wanna look at it? We're like, how do you wanna tell your story? And so, you know, I just saw him this morning, and he's like standing there, and he's like cutting fruit.

这就是移民父亲表达爱的方式。他会问，想吃什么？哈密瓜？我在切这个，我在切那个。

That's how, like, immigrant dads show love in the house. He's like, what do you wanna eat? Like, you know, cantaloupe. I'm cutting this. I'm cutting that.

我说哇，你花三小时切水果给全家人。他现在退休了，说总得找点事打发时间。想到他，我就想起那句话：不要只给生命增加岁月。

I was like, wow. You spend three hours cutting fruits for the whole like, yeah. He's retired now. He's like, you know, we we've gotta spend our time some way. So I'm I was just thinking about him, and I'm like, you know that saying, like, you don't wanna just add years to your life.

要给岁月注入生命。他就是完美典范，无论在哪里都自得其乐。永远在读新书，听播客访谈，分享新知保持思维活跃。

You wanna add life to your years. And he is, like, the perfect example of that, of just always enjoying himself no matter where he is. No matter he's always reading new books, always coming back and listening to podcasts and interviews and sharing things to keep himself intellectually stimulated.

所以他的故事部分在于，尽管他出身的环境在旁人听来可能显得消极或严酷，但他本人却显得非常快乐、乐观且坚韧。这与你在面对病人时所遇到的问题似乎相吻合。我是说，谈谈你在观察不同病人对9·11创伤反应时遇到的那种困惑。

So it seems like part of his story is that even though he came from circumstances that might feel kind of negative or feel sort of harsh to to other folks when they're listening to it. He seems like he's really happy and optimistic and resilient. And this sort of seems to fit with the question that you faced when you saw your patients. I mean, talk about the puzzle you sort of experienced as you saw different patients' reactions to the trauma of nine eleven.

是的。首先我想声明，我绝不希望任何人因为最终出现心理健康问题而感到自卑——无论是否与特定事件相关。事实上，20%到40%的人一生中会经历心理健康障碍，70%到80%的人会遭遇生命威胁事件。但有趣的是，虽然80%的人会经历危及生命的事件，却只有约8%到10%的人会真正符合创伤后应激障碍的诊断标准。这让我意识到：天啊，至少90%的人一生中都会遭遇重大不幸。

Yes. So, you know, first thing I wanna say is I never want anyone to feel less than if they do end up experiencing mental health disorders, whether it's related to an event or an incident or not. Most people, twenty, thirty, forty percent of folks in their life will experience a mental health disorder, and seventy to eighty percent of people will experience a life threatening event at some point or another, right? But what's interesting that when it comes to post traumatic stress disorder, that while eighty percent of people will experience a life threatening event, only about eight to ten percent of people will actually meet criteria for post traumatic stress disorder. So what that says to me is wow, like at least ninety percent of people will have really bad things happen to them in their life.

那些足以改变人生的重大灾难。但大多数人并不会因此一蹶不振。我们医疗监测项目中就有许多从未达到焦虑症、抑郁症或PTSD诊断标准的患者。这说明人类大脑具有惊人的复原能力，对吧？

Big, bad, life changing things. And yet they won't move on. We had a lot of patients who were in the medical monitoring program but never met criteria for anxiety, depression, PTSD. So our brain has a great ability to bounce back. Right?

但对我而言，从逆境中恢复只是等式的一部分——虽然重要，但并非全部。我更想帮助人们在逆境中茁壮成长，毕竟谁能在这世上完全避开苦难呢？正是在这样的思考中，我产生了'实用乐观主义'的理念——那些从未陷入焦虑抑郁的患者，反而经常主动来我们项目帮助他人。

But to me, bouncing back from adversity, that's only part of the equation. It's an important part, but it's only one part. I wanted to help people thrive in the face of adversity because which one of us will escape this world, you know, without everything bad ever happened to us? None of us. That is where practical optimism came to me is because I would see these folks who a lot of these patients who never became anxious or depressed, they would still come to our program helping other folks.

他们会陪同其他患者就诊。9·11事件后，许多PTSD患者会出现广场恐惧症或逃避人、地点及事件相关提示物的症状，伴随过度警觉、失眠、噩梦和易怒，导致他们不愿出门。而另一些患者则会说：'我没事，我陪你坐地铁'——尽管当时人们普遍恐惧再次袭击或触发创伤回忆。

They bring them to their appointments. In the aftermath of nineeleven, a lot of patients would have agoraphobia or like avoidance of people, places, things, reminders is a feature of PTSD. So with hypervigilance, insomnia, nightmares, irritability, so they don't want to leave their house. And we would have these other patients who are like, I'm fine. I'll bring you.

这些从未进入治疗程序的患者，我在走廊遇见时总会忍不住问：'你们的秘诀是什么？'逐渐地，我发现他们存在某些共同的行为模式。但当时我认为，韧性（包括乐观特质）是天生的——你要么拥有，要么就没有。

I'll take the subway with you. Because they were so afraid of there being another attack in the days after or just having triggers and reminders. So these folks who never made it into my program, I would see them in the hallways and I literally would be like, what is your secret? And I started to see common threads of specific things that they did. But resilience in my mind was always something you either had or you didn't, and one feature of it was optimism.

当然还有其他要素：利他主义、社会支持、道德准则、认知灵活性等。但多年后，当看到UCLA研究人员的论文指出'乐观存在遗传关联'时，这首先验证了我的初始疑问。

But there were other features like altruism, social support, moral compass, cognitive flexibility. But optimism was again one of these things that you had or you didn't, and so was resilience. But what about the rest of us? And it wouldn't be until years later that there was a paper done with researchers from UCLA, and they said, you know, there is a genetic link to optimism. So that was my first question.

这是遗传的吗？是与生俱来的特质吗？当我发现科学能验证我已有想法时总是欣喜若狂。研究证实确实存在这样的基因——催产素受体基因。

Is it genetic? Is it something you're born with? And I love it when I find science to back up things that I'm already thinking. And it said, yes, there is. And it's this oxytocin receptor gene.

若该基因存在某些变异，人的乐观程度可能会降低。这意味着什么？具有悲观倾向的人更容易陷入抑郁。研究人员进一步观察这个基因时提出：它究竟编码了什么功能？

And if there's some variation in it, you know, you may not be as optimistic. And what did that mean? Well, if you're pessimistic or have pessimistic tendencies, then you're more likely to get depressed. And then they looked at this gene and they said, well, what does it actually code for? Right?

这是种思维模式。没错。但除心态外，它还关乎情绪调节能力和求助意愿。我在心理治疗中常思考：究竟在帮助患者培养什么？乐观可以被传授吗？

It's a mindset. Yes. But in addition to being a mindset, it's also the ability to regulate your emotions, to be able to ask for help. And I was thinking about so many of these things that in my therapy with patients, what is it that I'm helping them with? And can I teach people optimism?

能否教会人们乐观者的行为模式？如何将其系统化？这种行为在现实中如何体现？我在各医学领域都找到了相关数据——接受简短乐观干预的人感冒康复更快、感染几率更低。

Can I teach them the things that optimists do? How do we codify this? What does this look like behaviorally in the world? And I found data in every field of medicine talking about it. People who are optimistic and do a brief optimistic intervention recover faster from colds or have less colds or infections.

《美国医学会杂志》对20万人的荟萃分析显示：乐观者寿命延长10%-15%，且晚年生活质量更高。健康寿命（而非单纯寿命）才是关键——女性尤其可能因痴呆症在养老院度过最后十年。从各项指标看，乐观者焦虑抑郁减少30%，中风和心脏病死亡率显著降低，整体幸福感更强。

We're looking at exceptional longevity in this study in JAMA that was a meta analysis of over 200,000 people and said that people who are optimistic live 10 to 15% longer. And not just longer lives, but healthier lives. So the concept of health span because lifespan may be increasing, but we're spending the last decade of our lives, especially women with dementia, living in a nursing home or dependent on other people. So I was like head to toe, optimists have less anxiety and depression, thirty percent less likelihood of getting strokes or dying from heart attacks or really fall cause mortality. They're happier.

他们次年加薪概率高出40%，拥有更多从童年延续的深厚友谊，婚恋关系更美满。我不禁要问：为何没人讨论这些？这简直是健康宝藏。

They're forty percent more likely to get a raise in the next year. They have more friendships, stronger and longer bonds from childhood. They are happier in their romantic relationships. I was like, why is no one talking about this? This to me is the jackpot.

这就是健康的源泉。

This is the wellspring of health.

所以我想稍微谈谈人们通常如何看待乐观主义。因为我觉得当我们听到‘乐观’这个词时，有时会误解它。那么，究竟什么是乐观主义呢？

So I wanted to talk a little bit about how people tend to think about optimism. Because I think when we hear the word optimism, we sometimes get it wrong. So so what is optimism?

没错。我认识的很多人确实把它看作是一种玄乎的思维方式，认为只要往好的方面想，一切就会顺利。这确实是乐观主义的表现，但那是‘毒性正能量’——要求别人直接翻篇或只看积极面。

Yeah. So I think a lot of people I know I did think of it as like this woo woo thinking and just look on the bright side and everything will work out. And that is definitely optimism. That is toxic positivity. Asking someone to just get over something or look on the bright side.

乐观主义本质上是在不确定情境中倾向于保持积极展望，期待最佳可能结果。但对我而言，乐观本身只是等式的一部分——就算我有全世界最积极的想法，如果不采取任何具体行动，就无法将积极展望转化为积极成果。因此我认为需要更多东西：一套技能和工具，这就是‘实用乐观主义’，也是它与普通乐观主义的区别所在。

Optimism simply is the tendency to have a positive outlook in an uncertain situation to kind of expect best possible outcome. But to me, optimism by itself is only part of the equation because it's like I can have all the positive thinking in the world, but if I'm not doing anything actionable and proactive, I'm not going to be able to translate those positive outlooks into positive outcomes. And so in my mind, I needed something more. I needed skill set and a tool set, and that is what practical optimism is. And that is how practical optimism differs from optimism.

如果你属于那25%天生积极看待事物的人群，那很棒。但现实是75%的人并非如此——我们可能处于中间状态，或更偏向悲观。乐观主义意味着持有非常积极的展望，但仅靠它是不够的。

So if you're in that 25% bucket that is born naturally with a positive outlook, excellent. But the reality is that 75% of us are not skewed that way. You know, we might be sort of somewhere in the middle or may skew more pessimistic. So optimism is having a very favorable outlook, but by itself, it's not sufficient.

那我们来梳理下这个升级版的‘实用乐观主义’，它有何不同？

So let's walk through this sort of updated version practical optimism. How is that different?

实用乐观主义通过行动帮助你将积极展望转化为积极成果。它就像练习瑜伽、学习新语言、骑自行车或运动一样需要实践——有时五分钟，有时更久，但确实需要付出努力。更重要的是，这是一套可习得的技能。

So practical optimism helps you translate positive outlooks into positive outcomes through action. And practical optimism is a practice like having a yoga practice, learning a new language, learning how to ride a bike, learning a sport. Some days it's five minutes, some days it's longer. But it does require effort and work. And more importantly, it's a skill set.

这个概念之所以让我感到解脱，是因为技能是人人都能学习的，而我们都应该学习技能。实用乐观主义是一种需要你抓住机会、主动融入世界、不断调整方向并从错误中持续学习的实践。

And why that was so freeing to me is like we can all learn skills, and we all should learn skills. And the practical optimism is a practice that requires you to take chances and to put yourself out there in the world and to course correct and to continually learn from mistakes.

现在是短暂休息时间，稍后《快乐实验室》回归时我们将深入探讨苏的实用乐观主义理念。良好的沟通在生活中至关重要，无论是个人还是职业层面。我的朋友马特·亚伯拉罕的播客《快速思考，聪明说话》能帮助你在这方面做得更好。每周马特都会与包括我在内的专家对谈，分享基于研究的实用技巧，比如如何深入对话、成为更好的倾听者，以及如何在冲突中清晰表达。本月节目中，《快速思考，聪明说话》还推出了与科技工具创造者的迷你系列，教你如何运用这些工具提升职业沟通与生活质量。

It's time for a quick break, but we'll dive deeper into Sue's idea of practical optimism when the Happiness Lab returns in a moment. Good communication is essential in life, both personally and professionally. And my friend, Matt Abraham's podcast, think fast, talk smart, can help you do better with that. Each week, Matt sits down with experts, including me, to share practical research backed tips to help you learn things like how to connect deeply in conversation, how to be a better listener, and how to communicate clearly through conflict. And this month, think fast, talk smart features a miniseries with tech tool creators on how to use their tools to improve your professional communication and your life.

若你已准备好提升沟通技能，每周二可在任意播客平台收听，并访问fastersmarter.io获取更多进阶内容。精神病学家苏·瓦尔玛医生在《实用乐观主义：卓越幸福的艺术、科学与实践》一书中指出，培养乐观心态的重要支柱之一是直面

So if you're ready to level up your communication game, listen every Tuesday wherever you get podcasts and find additional content to level up your communication at fastersmarter.io. In her book, Practical Optimism, the art, science, and practice of exceptional well-being, psychiatrist doctor Sue Varma explains that a major pillar of becoming more optimistic is facing up to

我们的情绪并处理它们。为何这如此重要？人们看待乐观者时，常想否定他们的快乐，认为'他们没经历过坏事当然开心'。但人们没意识到，乐观者与悲观者遭遇的生活逆境数量其实相同。

our emotions and processing them. So why is that so important? When people look at optimists, they want to dismiss their happiness and say, well, they've never had anything bad happen to them. Of course, they're happy. And what people don't realize is that optimists and pessimists both experience the same number of life adversities.

区别在于乐观者更善于应对。原因在于他们能实时处理情绪。压抑情绪需要更多精力和能量。当情绪被压抑时，身体会表达心灵无法言说的内容。因此许多患者会告诉我：'不知道为什么总生病'、'莫名头痛'或'因恐慌发作进了急诊室'。

The difference is that optimists are better able to cope with them. And the reason is is because they are in real time processing their emotions. It requires more effort and more energy to suppress your emotions. And when you suppress your emotions, they say that your body expresses what your mind cannot. And so a lot of my patients will come to me and they'll say, don't know why I'm always sick or I have these headaches or I have these unexplained aches and pains, or ended up in the emergency room from panic attacks.

处理情绪是乐观主义的关键支柱，因为它承认坏事总会发生，总有人惹恼你——关键在于你如何应对。人们常压抑负面情绪，就像我们讨论成瘾行为或不良习惯时：无节制刷剧、沉迷负面新闻。若这些行为是为逃避拖延，你终究无法摆脱负面情绪，它们会以更糟的方式回袭。

So processing your emotions is such a key pillar of optimism because it says bad things are gonna happen to you, people are gonna piss you off, And what are you gonna do about it? And a lot of times people end up suppressing negative emotions, like when we talk about any kind of addiction or unhealthy behavior with substances with anything. Hours of binge watching, doom scrolling. If it's meant as an avoidance of the procrastination, you cannot escape negative emotions. They will come to haunt you.

因此我说要在情绪掌控你之前先管理它们。从医实践中，我目睹太多痛苦——许多人在外界看来光鲜完美，但我知道实情并非如此。无论是人际关系还是工作，未被处理的情绪终将导致某些方面受损。事实上，善于处理情绪的人更少出现各类问题，包括心脏病。

And that's why I say manage your emotions before they manage you because in some form or another, I see so much suffering. You know, in my practice, a lot of these people look to the world as if they have it all together. And the reality is I know differently because I get an interesting inside perspective of what is actually going on in their lives. And so in one form or another, whether it's their relationship suffering, whether it's their work, something is going to suffer. So we know that people who deal with their emotions are less likely to have all sorts of problems, heart disease.

有种D型人格（不同于常见的A/B型），特征是易怒且压抑情绪。其实表达情绪消耗的能量更少。但太多人对自己的情绪感到恐惧。

You know, there's something called type D personality. We've heard of type A and type B. And type D is kind of like angry, holding on to emotions, not expressing them. It takes less energy to express it. I think so many people are afraid of their emotions.

他们害怕独处。害怕独自面对自己的思绪。我认识一些人总会在背景放着音乐，因为他们不愿与自己的思绪独处。他们会想，如果我必须直面自己的感受，那对我意味着什么？

They're afraid to be alone. They're afraid to be alone with their thoughts. I know people who will put the music on always in the background because they don't wanna be alone with their thoughts. And they're like, what would that mean for me if I actually had to confront how I feel?

我觉得这很可悲。对吧？因为我们的情绪其实是反映现实状况和我们需要做出改变的重要信号。忽视它们，我们真的会自食其果。对吧？

Which I think is so sad. Right? Because our emotions are this really useful signal about what's going on in reality and what we need to do differently. I feel like ignoring them, we do that really at our peril. Right?

完全同意。劳瑞，有趣的是，很多时候人们不敢直面情绪，是因为他们认为这意味着必须在生活中做出他们眼中巨大的改变。他们还没准备好，比如如果有人意识到'天啊，我实在受不了我的伴侣，多年来一直心怀怨恨'，直面这个事实就需要做出改变。他们可能害怕这意味着关系的终结，以及没有这段关系自己会变成什么样。所以我理解这种恐惧。

Totally. And you know what is interesting, Laurie, is that I think a lot of times people are afraid to confront emotions because it means that they will have to make in their mind what they perceive as massive changes in their life. And they're not ready to do that because like if somebody confronted the fact, wow, I really can't stand my partner and I've been resentful for so many years, and if they were to confront it, it would require something to change. And maybe they're afraid that it would mean that this would be the end of this relationship and who would I be without it. So I get it.

我理解。但我也想说说罗马不是一天建成的。我们不必因为明白了某些事情的意义就立刻解构自己的生活。前几天有个病人跟我分享了很多她对伴侣不满的事情。我问她'你觉得我现在说什么对你最有帮助？'

I understand. But I would also say that Rome wasn't built in a day. Like, we don't have to deconstruct our lives as a result of figuring out what it means. Like, I had a patient the other day who was sharing with me like a lot of things that she was not happy about with her partner. And I was like, what do you think would be most helpful for me to say right now?

她说'我知道我不希望你说什么。我不希望你劝我分手。'她在某种程度上明白这段关系的问题，但还没准备好结束它。这只是众多例子中的一个。很多人会说'我知道需要改变生活或换工作'。

And she was like, well, I know what I don't want you to say. I know I don't want you to tell me to break up with him. She knows on some level that the way things are not working, but isn't ready to end the relationship. So that's just one example. There's so many where somebody's like, I know what I need to do in terms of changing my life or changing a job.

他们知道如果放任自己被情绪吞噬，可能会被彻底击垮。我总是告诉病人，把它想象成衣柜抽屉。我不是说要打开所有抽屉把东西都倒出来弄得一团糟。我是说，让我们一次只看一个抽屉，我会帮你整理得更整齐些。明白吗？

Like, they know that if they were to allow themselves to be enveloped by the emotion either that they would be debilitated by it. And I always say to patients, think of it as like dresser drawers. I'm not saying let's open all of them and take everything out and create an entire mess and pile in the middle of your room. I'm saying, like, let's just look at one drawer at a time, and I'll help you pack it a little bit neater. Right?

但我们不是说要全部推倒重来。因为我觉得人们害怕被彻底压垮。

But we're not saying everything. Take out everything. And because I think there's a fear of being overwhelmed.

我认为这种被压垮的恐惧不仅源于需要改变的处境，还包括对情绪本身可能彻底击垮你的担忧。这正是我喜爱你著作的原因之一。你分享了这个实用的押韵口诀——我非常欣赏它帮助我们开始处理情绪的方式。这个口诀是什么？

And I think that fear of being overwhelmed can also involve not just being overwhelmed by the circumstances you need to change, but this worry that you might be literally overwhelmed by the emotion itself. And that's one of the reasons I love your book. You share this sort of handy rhyming catchphrase, which I love for how we can begin processing our emotions. What is this catchphrase?

这个口诀是：命名它、认领它、驯服它、重构它。命名部分就是识别诱因或触发点，保持觉察即可。大量证据表明，拥有情绪颗粒度——即理解并用语言描述你的感受及触发原因——至关重要。比如研究自杀倾向人群时，听起来或许奇怪，但我们发现能明确触发因素的患者康复预后更好，因为他们能将问题追溯到具体事件。若能如此，就更有可能解决根本原因并防止复发。

So it's name it, claim it, tame it, and reframe it. And the naming part is just name the antecedent or the trigger, just being aware of it. And there's so much evidence that having emotional granularity, just like understanding, putting words to what you're feeling and what caused the trigger. You know, when we look at people who have suicidal thinking, as weird as this may sound, we feel that patients who have understanding of what the trigger was probably have a higher chance of recovery and prognosis because they can tie it back to a specific event. And if you can do that, then you're more likely to be able to address the underlying causes and prevent them from happening again.

因此识别并了解你的触发因素和诱因极其重要。

So naming your trigger and antecedent and knowing what they are is really important.

接下来是认领它。认领我们的情绪意味着什么？

And so next up is claim it. What does it mean to claim our emotions?

当我提到认领情绪时，是指觉察情绪在身体的哪个部位显现。常见表述包括：我失眠/尿频/腹泻/头痛/肩颈紧绷。身体会表达心灵无法言说的内容，许多时候我们痛苦或禁忌的情绪会转化为躯体症状。

So when I say claim your emotions, where in your body do you feel them? A lot of times people will say that I have insomnia or I have frequent urination or frequent bowel movements or I have headaches or I have a lot of tension in my neck and my shoulders. So I say that the body expresses what the mind cannot, and a lot of times our painful or forbidden emotions shows up physical symptoms.

你强调认领情绪重要性的另一个原因，是它让我们能审视所谓禁忌情绪。什么是禁忌情绪？

Another reason you talk about the importance of claiming emotions is it allows us to think about what we might call our forbidden emotions. What are forbidden emotions?

我认为对某些人（尤其是女性）而言，愤怒可能是绝对禁忌。我的许多患者在愤怒时反而会哭泣——这很可怕，或许因为他们害怕疏远对方，或意味着要对抗挑战他人。然后呢？我们总在脑海中编造故事：如果我对某人表达真实想法，他们肯定会反感。

So I think for some people, women especially, anger might be really forbidden. I have so many patients that I work with that end up crying when they're angry. It's scary because either I think that they're afraid of pushing the other person away or that it means confronting or challenging the person. And then what? I think we've all created stories in our head about if I were to say something to someone, they're not gonna like it.

他们会离开我。他们会生我的气。然后呢？我觉得这样想有帮助，好吧。是的。

They're gonna leave me. They're gonna be mad at me. And then what? And I think it's helpful to be like, okay. Yeah.

然后呢？有统计数据显示，85%的情况下，我们担心的事情实际上从未发生。而那15%真的发生时，我们应对能力比想象中更强。所以记住这点很重要。

And then what? There's a statistic that says that eighty five percent of the time, the things that we worry about never actually happen. And the 15% of the time that they do, we're better equipped to handle it than we think. So I think that's really important to just keep in mind.

这是在接纳我们的情绪。但下一步是驯服情绪。你建议的方法之一是打破反刍思维循环。什么是反刍循环？我想我明白你的意思。

So that's claiming our emotions. But next step is that we have to tame our emotions. And one way that you suggest doing this is to really try to tame our ruminative loops. What do you mean by ruminative loops? I think I know what you mean.

我想我自己就经历过这种情况。是的。

I think I've experienced this myself first. Yes.

我绝对经历过反刍循环。就像你反复纠结同一个念头，这会导致无力感，剥夺我们的能动性，因为你不断重复同样的情绪。万一...？要么灾难化设想最坏情况，要么投射臆测。而驯服情绪就像短路刹车，打断循环并说：好了。

I definitely have experienced ruminative loops. And it's just like you're going in circles with the same thought, And what that does is end up creating powerlessness, and it strips us away of our agency because you're repeating the same emotion. What if? Or you're catastrophizing, assuming the worst case scenario or you're projecting. But taming your emotions is like short circuiting and and creating a break in that and saying, alright.

我现在感到愤怒、焦虑、无助。我要怎么自我安抚？所以驯服本质就是安抚。我建议选择不会形成新恶习的活动。比如有人说喝杯酒能安抚我。

I am feeling angry, anxious, helpless. What am I gonna do to self soothe? And so taming is really about soothing. And what I say is pick an activity that's not going to create a negative habit on its own. So somebody may say a glass of wine helps me soothe.

对吧？但当你需要两三杯才能达到同样效果时呢？所以我们不希望安抚活动反客为主。建议选择相对健康些的方式。

Right? Then what happens when you need two or three or four to have the same effect? Right? So we don't want the soothing activity to take on a life of its own. So I would say pick something that seems relatively healthy ish.

你能给朋友打个五分钟的电话吗？能发条信息给你知道会给予支持和帮助的人吗？或者在你所在的地方做一分钟的冥想？只需闭上眼睛深呼吸。对我来说，散步是最能舒缓情绪的活动之一。

Can you make a five minute phone call to a friend? Can you text someone that you know is gonna be supportive and helpful? Could you do a one minute meditation in place wherever you are? Just closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. For me, walking is one of the most soothing activities.

我对散步的科学原理很着迷——当你行走时，眼睛必须追踪外界事物，比如避免被车撞到，这些眼球运动迫使你跳出自我沉浸的状态。所以散步或任何运动都能让你抽离思绪，打破常规。无论你能做到什么程度，哪怕是五分钟的伸展运动。

And I was fascinated by the science of walking that there's something about when you're walking, your eyes have to track what's out there in the world. Like, so you want to get hit by a car and all of that forces you, those eye movements to get out of your own head. So going for a walk or any kind of exercise just gets you out of your own head and gets you out of routine. So whatever you're capable of doing. It could be a five minute stretch.

我们只需保持简单并降低标准，但什么能让你感到平静？这才是关键所在。

So we just wanna keep it simple and lower the bar, but what's soothing for you? That's the big take home point.

你还提到另一个我完全打算采用的策略，就是清空情绪垃圾箱的概念。具体是指什么？

You also mentioned this other strategy that I'm totally gonna adopt myself, which is this idea of emptying your emotional spam folder. Yeah. What is this?

我通过写日记来实现这一点。科学研究表明，每天两次十分钟的日记书写极具价值。写日记没有固定模式——对我而言，有时只是复述当天发生的事情，把思绪倾泻到纸上，然后感觉‘好了，就这样’。

For me, I do that in journaling, and I think that there's so much value and there's so much science behind two ten minute journaling sessions. And there's no one right way to journal. What works for you? Like, sometimes it's literally for me reiterating what happened in the day, and it's getting it out of your head and putting it on paper, and you're like, alright. That's it.

完成了。当年我接受心理治疗时，学到一种叫‘焦虑日记’的技巧。有人可能觉得这反常识——为什么要记录忧虑？但我发现当你反复书写相同内容时，会看出焦虑的规律模式。

I'm done. You know, when I was a patient and going for my own therapy, I learned a technique called worry journaling. And somebody may say, well, that seems counterintuitive. Why would you keep a journal of your worries? And what I learned is that when you write the same thing over and over again, you start to see that there's a trend in your worries.

这些忧虑存在共同主题，你担心的都是同类事情，而它们实际上并未发生。如果愿意记录应对方式，还能建立掌控感。所以把焦虑写在纸上，就是清空情绪垃圾箱的一种方法。

There's a common theme. You're worried about the same types of things and that the things that you're worried about are not actually happening. And if you're willing to write down how you handled it, that creates a sense of mastery as well. So putting it on paper is one way to unload your worry spam folder. And so that's a

很好地过渡到我们处理情绪的四个技巧中的最后一个。我们需要重新构建它们。什么是重构我们的情绪？为什么它如此重要？

nice transition to the last of our four tips for kind of processing our emotions. We need to reframe them. What is reframing our emotions? Why can it be so important?

重构是尝试对发生的负面情况赋予不同视角的最佳技巧之一。我想说的是，有些发生在你身上的负面事情确实无法找到积极面，没有一线希望，我完全理解这一点。但除了那些重大悲剧之外，问问自己——有时可能需要在你与这件坏事之间拉开一些距离之后——重构让我们能够重新获得一些控制权，告诉自己：我不会让这件事击垮我。

So reframing is one of the best techniques to try to put a different spin on a negative situation that happened. And I just wanna say that there are some negative things that happen to you that there will be no positive spin. There will be no silver lining, and I 100% get that. But other than the sort of big tragedy is ask yourself, and sometimes it may not be until you've created some distance between you and this bad thing that happened, but reframing allows us to take back some control and says, you know what? I'm not going to allow myself to be debilitated by this.

一种方法可能是问：我能否从另一个角度看待这个情况？能否站在他人的立场来看？能否将它放在我人生更大规划的背景下理解？有时可能是被拒绝，有个流行的说法：拒绝其实是重定向。我生命中很多想做的事在当时未能实现，现在回想反而庆幸，因为种种原因——可能当时自以为准备好了，或是后来积累了更多经验，或是更有能力应对挑战。

And one way might say, is there another way for me to look at the situation? Could I look at it from another person's point of view? Would I understand it in the context of the larger plan for my life? So sometimes it might be a rejection, and there's this catchy saying rejection is really just redirection. There were so many things that I wanted to do at certain times in my life, and I am glad in retrospect that they didn't happen at that time because for any number of reasons, might have thought I was ready or maybe I gained more experience later on or I was better equipped to handle the challenge.

你可能会说这只是乐观主义。我承认确实如此。但关键在于我无法控制或改变它，那为什么不以让我心安的方式重构它呢？

And you could say, well, that's just you trying to be an optimist. And I'd say, sure. But the point is I couldn't control it. I couldn't change it. So why not reframe it in a way that puts me at ease?

重构本质上是夺回控制权，选择不让自己成为这个情境的受害者。这是创伤处理治疗中最强大的技巧之一。但我也理解——我曾有9·11幸存者患者和朋友，当我们讨论重构时，他们说找不到任何积极面。我完全认同。后来我意识到，有些事确实无法赋予积极意义。这时我想起东方教养中的智慧：这是需要解决的问题，还是必须接受的现实？

So reframing it really just it's taking back control and it's saying I don't have to choose to allow myself to be a victim of this situation. Reframing is one of the most powerful techniques used in trauma processing therapy, but I recognize, you know, I had nineeleven survivor patients and friends, and they would say, you know, when we would talk about reframing, they're like, you know, I don't see, there's no silver lining. And I'd say absolutely. And it would be later on that I would recognize that there are some things that there'll be no positive way to put a spin on it. And then I realized from my Eastern upbringing, something my parents would say to me is that, is this a problem to be solved or a truth to be accepted?

有时你无法重构某事，那就只能接受。西方教养让我曾以为接受就是认命、屈服、消极、懦弱。但东方教养告诉我们：在别无选择时，接受反而是非常强大的立场。

And sometimes you cannot reframe something, and then it just becomes about acceptance. And I think, you know, my Western upbringing would have me believe that acceptance was resignation, surrender, passive, meek, and weak. Eastern upbringing says no. Acceptance is a very strong place to be when you don't have a choice.

我们需要短暂休息一下。回来后，苏将解释她如何受日本金缮艺术启发——将破碎陶片重组成比完好时更美的器物。《幸福实验室》稍后继续。良好的沟通对生活和职场都至关重要，我朋友马特·亚伯拉罕的播客《快速思考，聪明说话》能帮助你提升这项技能。

We need to take another quick break. But when we return, Sue will explain how she's been inspired by the Japanese art form of kintsugi, taking broken pottery pieces and reconstructing them to be even more beautiful than an undamaged face. The Happiness Lab will be right back. Good communication is essential in life, both personally and professionally. And my friend, Matt Abraham's podcast, think fast, talk smart, can help you do better with that.

每周，马特都会与包括我在内的专家们坐下来，分享基于研究的实用技巧，帮助你学习如何在对话中深度连接、如何成为更好的倾听者，以及如何在冲突中清晰沟通。本月，《快速思考，聪明表达》将推出一个与科技工具创造者的迷你系列，探讨如何利用他们的工具提升你的职业沟通与生活品质。若你已准备好升级沟通技能，每周二可在任意播客平台收听节目，并在fastersmarter.io获取更多提升沟通能力的内容。

Each week, Matt sits down with experts, including me, to share practical research backed tips to help you learn things like how to connect deeply in conversation, how to be a better listener, and how to communicate clearly through conflict. And this month, think fast, talk smart features a miniseries with tech tool creators on how to use their tools to improve your professional communication and your life. So if you're ready to level up your communication game, listen every Tuesday wherever you get podcasts and find additional content to level up your communication at fastersmarter.io. Treating people caught up in the destruction of the World Trade Center had a huge impact on doctor Sue Varma's career. Of course, doctor patient confidentiality prevents Sue from talking in detail about the specific cases she treated.

治疗世贸中心灾难中的幸存者对苏·瓦尔玛医生的职业生涯产生了深远影响。当然，医患保密原则限制了她详细讨论具体病例，但她记录了一位从倒塌塔楼逃生的鼓舞人心的人物——她称之为雪莉的女性。

But she wrote about one inspiring person who escaped the collapsing towers, a woman that Sue calls Shelley.

雪莉是我最早接诊的患者之一，当时我有冒名顶替综合征。我觉得这是个重大责任，质疑自己是否有资格站在那里。我很害怕，想着该如何帮助雪莉？因为她某种程度上代表了我见到的许多案例主题——这些杰出人士中，不少是社区领袖和高成就者。

So, you know, Shelley was one of the first patients I worked with, and I had impostor syndrome. I was like, this is like a big job and, like, how am I qualified to be here? And I was scared. And I was like, how am I going to help Shelley? Because Shelley, in some ways, represented a lot of the themes that I was seeing, which was these amazing people, many of them high achievers, many of them leaders in their community.

雪莉是位母亲，一个诚实、勤奋、坚强的女性。她自认为是乐观进取的人，总说'我是那个组织五公里赛跑和公司聚会的人，从没想过有什么能击垮我的精神'——这确实是她的原话。

You know, Shelly is a mom and just like a very honest, hardworking, strong human being. And you know, she was someone who considered herself an optimist, go getter. She's like, I'm the one always doing the five k races and throwing the company get togethers. And so I never saw that something could break my spirit. And that was literally what she said.

她回忆道：'9·11那天，我被人群践踏，卷入尘埃云中。那天我穿着高跟鞋——我喜欢打扮精致去上班。鞋跟断了，我赤脚行走求救。突然之间，尘埃笼罩...那天发生的事根本无法用语言描述。你以为只是寻常工作日，却目睹人们在你周围死去。'

She was like, you know, on 09:11, here I am. I'm getting trampled. I'm getting caught in the dust clouds. I'm wearing heels that day. I love to look cute when I come to work.

她继续说：'那天我回不了家，丈夫联系不上我。后来她再没回到那间办公室工作。即使最终回去，她也从未请假或寻求帮助。很多人是通过体检项目（如哮喘、肠胃问题检查）才接受心理健康筛查的，她根本没想过自己需要帮助。'

And the heel broke, and then I'm walking barefoot, and I'm asking for help. And next thing you know, like, dust cloud like, just I like, I there's no ways to even put words on what happened that day. You go to work thinking this is just a regular day, and then you're seeing people die in front of you everywhere. And she was like, I couldn't get home that day, and my husband couldn't reach me. Like, she wasn't able to go back to work in that office.

讲述过程中她突然哭泣：'我从不在人前流泪，这可能是第一次为这件事落泪。'通过这个项目，许多人才意识到，他们表面是来治疗身体问题，实则也需要心理援助。当她逐渐展开故事时，情绪终于决堤。

And eventually, when she did, she never took a day off and never asked for help. And it was really like only through the program that a lot of people were told that they're going there for physical reasons, for checking up like asthma, GI problems. And then they got mental health screenings that she wasn't even thinking that like, I need to get help. And in her story, as she's unfolding it, she just starts crying. And she's like, don't cry in front of people, and I don't think I've ever cried about this in front of anyone before.

最后她说，我感觉自己支离破碎。你知道，这是最难接受的话之一，因为我在想，我到底能扮演什么角色来帮助你？因为你所说的一切都千真万确。没有一线希望。我该如何让你克制？

And, you know, at the end, she said, I feel broken. You know, that was one of the hardest things to hear because I was like, what role do I possibly even play in helping you? Because everything you're saying to me is a thousand percent legitimate. There's no silver lining. How do I get you to refrain?

没有任何积极的转圜余地。所以主题是雪莱分享的破碎感，这让我想到了金缮这门修复破碎陶瓷的艺术，以及日本文化中让事物超越原貌的理念。它不仅是修复，更带来一种宛如2.0版本的美丽。在金缮中，你用金色的胶水、漆料将这些碎片粘合，最终成品反而更显庄严、昂贵与珍贵。当她那么说时，我想起了在心理治疗师办公室里看到的这种艺术形式。

There's no positive spin. So the theme was the brokenness that Shelley was sharing, and it made me think of this art of broken ceramics, kintsugi, and Japanese culture, which is preparing something to beyond its original form. It's restoring it, but bringing upon a level of beauty that is like the two point o version. In Kintsugi, like you're putting these broken ceramic pieces together with a golden glue, golden lacquer, and it ends up being even more majestic and expensive and valuable. And so when she said that, it reminded me because I remember when I was in therapy and I saw this art form in my therapist's office.

那是我父亲多年前在日本旅行带回来的东西。我自问，这是否是个契机？悲剧能否成为让我们更强大的机遇？于是这段旅程开始了。我想这与我成为治疗师的历程是并行的。

It's something that my dad had from one of his trips many years ago in Japan. I thought to myself, is this an opportunity? Could tragedy ever be an opportunity for us to come back stronger? And so then became the journey. I think it was a parallel journey of me becoming a therapist, I think.

我从患者身上学到太多，回家后总对自己说：知道吗？无论好坏，我都与他们同舟共济，我们会一起渡过难关。我没有全部答案，此刻也没有。但我们将共同创造、构建一个新的现实，希望它能同样美好——虽然永远不会和从前一样。

Learning so much from my patients and just going home and saying, you know what? Like, I'm on this ride with them for better or for worse, and we're gonna we're gonna get through this together. I don't have all the answers and I don't have them right now. But we're gonna co create and co construct a new reality that hopefully will be just as good. It's never gonna be the same.

我理解。那个穿高跟鞋的雪莱如今改穿运动鞋，或是小猫跟鞋，总背着书包或健身包，备着换洗衣物，仿佛时刻预防悲剧重演。所以某种程度上她是对的，她再也回不到从前。但治疗结束后，我和她与丈夫坐在一起，他说：以前我才是这段关系里的战士。

I get it. That Shelly who wore the heels is the Shelly that now wears sneakers or if she wears kitten heels and she brings like a book bag, duffle bag, and had a change of clothes, always anticipating in a way, like, what if this were to ever happen again? So in some ways, she was right. She was never gonna be that person. But after the treatment ended, you know, I sat with her and her husband and he's like, I used to be the warrior in the relationship.

而现在我终于找回妻子了，她能正常生活，也学会了求助。但这其实是让她重获那个迷失的自我——那种'我能做到'的能力感。

And like, I finally have my wife back and she's able to function and she was able to ask for help. But it's returning back to a person that sense of self that they lost of, like, that ability of I can do this.

似乎经历创伤后，你接触的许多人都陷入这种内在破碎感。你提到这是创伤对人们自我效能感的影响。什么是自我效能？为何它对心理健康如此重要？

It seems like going through trauma, so many people that you've worked with went through this idea of the sense of inner brokenness. And you talked about this as the effect that trauma has had on people's What is self efficacy, and why is it so important for mental health?

自我效能感是你对自己能力的信心。我觉得这很有趣，因为它实际上并没有评价你的真实能力。你知道有句话叫‘假装直到成功’，我认为其中有一定道理，但并非完全如此。现实是没有人让你彻底伪装。你需要付诸行动，无论那是什么工作。

Self efficacy is your confidence in your own abilities. And I think it's so interesting because it's not really saying anything about your actual abilities. And you know that saying like fake it till you make it, I think there is some truth to it, but not. The reality is nobody is saying completely fake it. Like, you need to do the work, whatever that work is.

如果目标是成为音乐家，你需要训练，但同时也必须对实现目标的能力怀有信念和信心。这包含两个方面：一是持续推动自己发展这种能力，二是最终相信它会开花结果。阿尔伯特·班杜拉对自我效能感做了大量研究，他指出这种信心来源于个人直接经验、观察学习（通过榜样）、来自可信赖者的反馈，以及自身的生理反馈感受。

If it's training to become a musician, like, you need to train, but you also have to have faith and confidence in your ability to achieve the thing that you're working towards. So there's two aspects of it. One is continuing to push yourself to develop that ability, but then eventually believing that it is going to come to fruition. And we see there's so much work like Albert Bandura had done a lot of study on self efficacy and he says that this sense of confidence comes from your own personal experience, from vicarious learning, looking at role models, getting feedback from trusted people, and then also just a sense of how does it make you feel, your own physiological feedback.

自我效能感似乎还涉及特定预期，包括对自身和外界的预期。嗯。请解释相关研究发现了什么。

It also seems like self efficacy involves some specific expectations, both expectations about ourselves and outside ourselves. Mhmm. Explain what the research shows about that.

是的。它有两个特征：一是相信自己具备达成目标的能力，二是确信这个结果本身是可实现的。以减肥为例说明——

Yes. There's two features to it. One is just the belief that you yourself have the capacity to achieve this, and then the fact that this outcome is achievable. Period. So I'm just gonna use weight loss as an example.

有人可能会说：‘我在执行所有已知方法，我清楚该做什么。’这适用于任何场景。比如增肌者会说‘我需要摄入更多蛋白质’；改善睡眠者会说‘我需要更好的睡眠卫生’。

Somebody may say, I'm doing all the things I know. Like, I know what I need to do. And that could be anything. Like, if somebody says I'm trying to put on more muscle, I need to eat more protein, I know what I need to do. If I need to wake up, like, better sleep hygiene.

理性上明白步骤是第一步；第二步是付诸实践；但关键是第三步：我的努力最终会产生效果吗？会看到成果吗？因为总有人抱怨‘我仍未看到变化’。

So intellectually knowing what the steps are, that's a part of it. Number two, you carrying it out. But number three, will my work in the end be impactful? Will I see results? Because there'll be people who say, I'm still not seeing the result.

有时结果不受你掌控。比如为晋升拼命工作的人可能面临不公平、充满偏见、举步维艰的工作环境。因此自我效能感需要双重支撑：个人内在信念，以及环境支持——因为若环境令人窒息，纵使竭尽全力也难以为继。

Sometimes the results are not in your hand. You may say I'm working really hard at work for promotion. I know what I need to do, but I'm dealing in a very stressful work environment that feels unfair, that feels biased, that feels like I'm walking in uphill battle. So I think that there are two parts that you need to feel efficacious because your environment lends itself to making you feel that way. And the environment needs to be supportive because you can do all you want.

但如果这个系统让你觉得被针对了——重申一次，这可能是主观感受也可能是客观现实。所以我们必须同时考虑这两种可能性。我总是试着询问我的病人：‘听着，我想更了解你的工作情况。能简单描述下你老板的性格吗？让我感受下你们的互动模式。’

But if the system feels rigged against you and again, it could be a matter of perception or it could be reality. So we have to entertain both. And I always try to ask my patients, I said, listen, I just wanna get a better sense of your work. Tell me a little bit about your boss's personality. Give me a sense of the interactions.

你对此有何感受？你的同事们又怎么看待这种情况？所以当有人说‘我已经竭尽全力，但事情仍不顺利’时，我绝不会否认这种现实。

How do you feel? How do your colleagues feel about this? So I never wanna deny that reality if somebody says, I'm trying, I am doing my best, and things are still not working for me.

这两种预期似乎都有助于增强自我效能感。当我们感到无力实现真正想做的事时会发生什么？当我们感觉效率低下时会怎样？

Both of those expectations seem to contribute to the benefits of experiencing self efficacy. What happens when it feels like we're not able to do what we really wanna do? What happens when we're not feeling so effective?

我认为最终我们会感到士气低落、幻想破灭、权利被剥夺，然后选择放弃。虽然产生‘自己必将失败’的想法很自然，但真正需要被提醒的是——你完全可以重新振作。对我来说，提升专业能力就是要唤醒人们内心深处的潜能。就像那些运动员实验，被告知‘你不可能赢过这个对手，对方比你强太多’。

So, I think we end up feeling demoralized, disenchanted, disenfranchised, and we give up. And it's natural to think that you're gonna fail, but what you really need to be reminded of is that you can rise up again. And so to me, proficiency is about reminding people at their very core of their capability. And like they did experiments with athletes, and they're told, you're not gonna win against this person. They're so much better than you.

他们不知道的是，其实匹配到的运动员水平相当。但当你提前被灌输‘你做不到’时，他们就真的做不到。而被告知相反信息‘这人比你差远了，你稳赢’时...

What they didn't know was they were actually matched with an athlete who was at the same level as them. But when you're told in advance, you're not gonna be able to do this, they can't. And when they were told the opposite, oh, this person sucks compared to you. You're so much better. You're gonna win.

很多时候，我们的预期确实能预言结果。就像有个实验，学生进教室前被告知里面的人很友善或不友善。这些学生能否成功交到朋友，很大程度上取决于他们事先的预期。因此我深信自我实现预言的概念，也绝不认为乐观主义是什么空想。

So a lot of times, our expectation really predict outcomes. And, like, there there's an experiment where they tell students going into a classroom the people there are very friendly or they're not. And the success of the student going to the classroom, being able to make friends, really had to do with with their expectations of what was to come. So I do believe in this concept of self fulfilling prophecy, and I don't think that optimism is at all magical thinking.

那么该如何克服这些导致自我效能感缺失的障碍？我们可以通过哪些方式变得更专业？你多次提到的障碍之一就是战胜无助感。嗯...我们该如何对抗内心的无力感？

So how can we fight some of these barriers that lead to a lack of self efficacy? What can we do to become more proficient? One of the barriers you talked about a lot is sort of fighting helplessness. Mhmm. How can we fight our inner sense of helplessness?

所以我认为首要的是理解并认识到这一点，允许自己有时间休息，有时按下暂停键，也许不是完全停止。验证是其中的关键部分。就是说，我经历了一段非常艰难的时期。如果你有幸遇到一个真正爱你、关心你、为你着想的人，他们会说，我理解，我懂你。

So I think the first thing is just understanding and recognizing it as that and allowing yourself time to rest and to sometimes hit pause, maybe not stop. Validation is a key part of that. It's just to say, I had a really hard time. Like, if you're lucky enough to have someone really, like, loving and caring and has your best interest at heart, to say, I get it. I see you.

我看到你有多努力，这不是你的错。或者，如果你在其中有所参与，你能从中学到什么？你可以采取哪些不同的做法？因此我认为暂停、休息、恢复很重要。因为我们很多人只是从一个项目忙到另一个项目。这是一种目的地成瘾，你总是想着我需要到达下一个地方，而没有真正思考为什么我要不断奋斗。

I see how hard you're working, and this was not your fault. Or could you learn something from this if you did have a role in it and what can you do differently? So I think pausing, resting, recovering. Because I think so many of us just go from one project to another to another. And it's this like sort of destination addiction where you're like, I need to get to the next place without really thinking through why do I continue to strive?

你知道吗？有时候要正视这种无助感，问问自己：这是否是我改变方向的机会？我真的适合这个吗？我真的想要这个吗？

You know? And to and sometimes to look at the helplessness and say, is this an opportunity for me to change course? You know? Am I meant really for this? Do I really want this?

或者是否有其他方式可以实现这个目标？

Or is there another way for me to achieve this?

这很好地引出了第二个障碍。你谈到了这种被困住的感觉，就像永远找不到前进的道路，永远被困在原地。我们如何克服这种阻碍精通的障碍？

And that really nicely gets to a second barrier. You've talked about this idea of stuckness where it's like, I just I'm never gonna find a path forward. I'm just always gonna be stuck. How do we fight this barrier to proficiency?

克服被困感的关键在于找到灵活性。我在书中提到一些病人，他们坚持认为必须去，比如商学院或医学院之类的。实际上有一个病人，她从小就想成为心理学博士，这是她唯一的目标。但她的父母说，你不适合那么长的学习过程，我们也没钱支持。

Fighting stuckness is about finding flexibility. And I talk about in the book about patients who are like, oh, I must go to, I don't know, fill in the blank, like business school or medical school or whatever it is. And it was actually a patient who, you know, she was like, I have to be a PhD in psychology. Like this is the only thing she wanted since she was a kid. And her parents were like, no, that's not you're not really meant for that very long course and we don't have the money for it.

我记得和这位病人谈话时问她，你能想到其他选择吗？事情一件接一件，后来她成了一家健康公司的负责人。多年后，她寄给我一篇关于她获奖的剪报，上面写着：谢谢你。这是你在治疗中与我分享的——用钢笔写下你的目标，但用铅笔规划你的路径。

Like and I remember talking to this patient saying, is there anything else that you can think of? And one thing led to another, and next thing you know, she's the head of a wellness company. And years later, you know, she sent me a clipping of some award that she got, and it said she had written, thank you. And this was something you shared with me in therapy. Write your purpose in pen, but your path in pencil.

这让我感触很深，因为首先，我不记得自己说过那样的话，但谢谢你。我欣然接受。其次，哇，你知道吗，那可能正是我当时需要听到的。这种观念——我们不必执着于某一条特定道路，因为通往满足感、被需要感和影响力的途径实在太多了。

And that was so poignant to me because I was like, number one, I don't remember saying that, but thank you. I'll take it. And then number two, wow. You know, was something that probably I needed to hear at that time. And, you know, just this idea that we don't have to be fixated on one specific path because there's so many roads to feeling satisfied, to feeling needed, to feeling impactful.

往往这条路并非我们原先设想的那样，而这完全没关系。所以灵活性是精熟的重要部分。你必须敏捷，必须快速反应，必须能说'我尝试过了，这样没问题'。放弃并不总意味着失败。在我们这个'冲冲冲'的奋斗文化里，太多焦点都放在最终成果和成功上，而非过程中的犯错、学习、乐趣、创造力和迷途。

And often it's not the road that we thought that we would be, And that's totally fine. So flexibility is a big part of proficiency. Like you have to be nimble, you have to be quick, you have to say, I have tried and it is okay. Giving up isn't always a sense of failure. I think a lot of times in this culture of go, go, go and work warrior, make it happen, too much emphasis is on the final product, on the success, rather than the process, which is about making mistakes and learning and fun and creativity and getting lost.

我和丈夫旅行时，有时做计划有时不做。我们不喜欢固定死板的行程，喜欢开车去小村庄遇见陌生人，让际遇指引方向。当然这并不总是现实，尤其带着孩子时可能效率低下。但我认为在安全范围内，尽可能享受迷途的感觉很棒。

When my husband and I travel and sometimes we make plans and sometimes we don't. You know, we don't like to have fixed structured itineraries. We like to drive and go to small villages and meet people and see where things take us. Know, and I get that that's not always reality and it's not always productive or efficient, especially if you're traveling with young kids. But I think as much as possible, I love the idea of getting lost and just think about what feels safe and what parameters and guardrails.

你打算如何有意识地、安全地让自己迷途？

How do you want to intentionally and safely allow yourself to get lost?

这种重塑认知的方式真美好，我认为这正是灵活性的关键所在。以上是解决停滞的方法，但第三个障碍我也深有体会——那种'我太累了无法精进'的疲惫感，就像'我真的做不到'。

Such a nice way to sort of reframe your perceptions, which I think is, like, such an important part of flexibility. And so so those are ways we can sort of fix stuckness. But the third barrier is also one that I relate to a lot. It's this kind of just fatigue, this idea that, like, I'm too tired to be proficient. Like, I just can't do this.

没错。我们有哪些方法可以突破这种阻碍精通的疲劳屏障呢？

Yeah. What are some ways we can break through that barrier to proficiency?

劳瑞，感谢分享这个观点。当我想到那么多成功的高成就者时，感觉我们都面临 burnout 风险，因为我们对自己要求太高。在这个文化里，休息常被看作需要挣得的奖励，或是浪费时间的可耻行为。但我认为休息和休闲应该被纳入工作计划，像工作任务一样被认真安排。当疲劳来袭时，找到能让你充电的方式——对我来说玩耍总是很有效。善待自己，想想你希望气喘吁吁、精疲力尽、士气低落登顶，还是以更好的状态到达山峰？

Laurie, I love that you share that because when I think of so many, like, really successful and high achieving people, I feel like we are at risk of burnout because we hold ourselves to really high standards. And I feel like in this culture, we're often taught that rest has to be earned or that rest is wasteful, unproductive and it's like frowned upon. And I just think that rest and leisure need to be incorporated as part of the work plan and scheduled with the same type of intention and urgency in a way. So when fatigue sets in, I think that whatever fills your cup, play, I think for me is always a way to do that. So give yourself grace and be gentle and recognize that do you wanna get to the peak or the summit of this mountain completely out of breath, weathered and worn down, demoralized?

你登上了顶峰，但代价是什么？

You got to the peak, but at what cost?

这听起来也像是在真正认识到我们天生的局限性，无论是心理上的自然限制，比如我们需要休息、需要暂停，还是身体上的自然限制。我想是的。有时候我们感到如此疲惫，正是因为我们没有好好照顾自己的身体。

It also sounds like it's just really recognizing our natural limitations, whether those are just kind of mental natural limitations, like we just need some rest, we need to take a break, but also physical natural limitations. I think Yeah. This is sometimes why we feel so fatigued is that we're not taking care of our physical bodies too.

是的，没错。就我个人而言，我现在正在努力改善的一件事，也是我长期思考的问题，就是睡眠卫生。你知道，我总把自己的身体健康视为理所当然。而有时候这会带来后果。

Yes. Yes. And I say, like, for me, like like, something I'm I'm really working on right now, and it's something I've been thinking about for a long time is, like, sleep hygiene. You know, I think that I have always just taken my physical health for granted. And sometimes there's consequences to that.

我总以为，哦，我是台机器，身体会自行调节。记得几年前有位比我年长的朋友告诉我，总有一天你会为了睡眠来安排日程。我当时还不信，觉得我的日程都是围绕其他事情，睡眠只是见缝插针。

And I've just assumed, oh, I'm a machine. It'll work itself out. And I remember a friend several years ahead of me telling me that so there's gonna come a point in your life when you're gonna make your schedule around sleep. And I was like, I don't believe you. Like, I make my schedule around everything else but that.

她却说不是的，她现在非常注重睡眠。如今我开始逆向思考：如果要保证这7、8、9小时的睡眠时间，我就得倒推安排。所有答应或拒绝的事情，都要围绕睡眠作息来决定。

That just fits itself in. She's like, no. I'm very careful about it. And now I'm thinking backwards where I'm like, if I wanna protect this time, whatever it is, seven, eight, nine hours, then I'm going to work backwards. And the things that I'm saying yes to and no to are going to be centered around the sleep schedule.

这就像往休息账户里存款。睡眠是一种方式，15分钟的小憩是另一种，1分钟的冥想也是一种，锻炼也是其中之一。

You know, it's about making deposits into this rest account. And so sleep is one way. Fifteen minute naps is another way. One minute meditations is another way. Exercise is another way.

任何能为你充电、恢复精力的事情都算数。

Anything that's going to refill your cup and replenish your energy.

所以你提到的所有这些恢复精力、对抗无助感、减少被困感的策略，正是你和雪莉讨论过的那些。结果如何？她是否能用这些策略来治愈内心那种破碎感？

And so all these strategies that you're talking about for replenishing your energy, fighting helplessness, feeling less stuck, These were exactly the kind of things you talked about with Shelley. What was the outcome there? Was she able to use these strategies to kind of heal that inner sense of brokenness?

是的。有趣的是她会开玩笑说，她经常不明白某些建议的意图。比如当我告诉她我害怕再次发生恐怖袭击，或是感到安全感、平静或希望被改变甚至摧毁时，你会对我说‘试着向老板申请休假或好好睡觉’。她说虽然不一定理解其中的关联，但想着既然来了就配合治疗。

Yes. And it's funny because she would joke. She's like, I didn't often know where you were going with certain things. Like, when I'm telling you how I'm scared about another terrorist attack happening or I feel like my sense of safety or calmness or hope has been changed or demoralized, you would say to me, talk to your boss about trying to get time off or sleep. She's like, I didn't understand where we were going necessarily, but, you know, I figured I'm here, so I might as well show up and go with you.

所以很多时候人们来找我咨询时，心里装着某个具体问题希望能得到解答。而我常说让我们退一步，用360度视角来看待你的整体健康——即使你找我谈的是工作问题。比如她原本想加薪升职，却因恐惧不敢开口：担心请假休息、甚至预留治疗时间都会被视作对工作不够投入。

And so I think a lot of times when people come in to work with me, they'll come in with one specific problem in mind, and they're hoping to get an answer for that problem. And then I often say, let's back up and sort of take a three sixty to approach your wellness even though you're talking to me about, let's say, problems at work. You know, she wanted to get a raise. She wanted to get a promotion, but she was just so afraid. She thought that if I ask for days off, if I ask for rest, even if it was like blocking off an hour for therapy, that all of these things would get in the way of promotion because she would be seen as, you know, not really serious about this job.

但有意思的是，当她开始关注心理健康并增加休息后，老板反而表示‘完全不知道你承受着这些压力，非常乐意批准带薪假——这本来就是你的病假权益，而你从未使用过’。

And what was interesting was by taking care of her mental health, by resting more, her boss was like, I had no idea that you were going through all of this. I am more than happy to give you PTO. No, I'm not going to doctor pay. Please consider it as part of the sick leave that you have, which you have tons of. You have never taken a sick day in your life.

她终于获得休息的许可，获得照顾心理健康的权利。最终不仅获得晋升，整个人生都改变了。很大程度上是因为接受了‘生活已不同以往’这个事实。

And she finally felt permission to rest, permission to take care of her mental health. And she ended up getting the promotion. I mean, her life changed. Like, lot of it is because embracing the fact that your life is not the same. You know?

我认为这才是最困难的部分——很多人在经历创伤或挫折后，总想迅速变回从前的自己。但这既不可能（因为事件已重塑你的认知框架），对许多人来说‘回到原点’也不合理，毕竟正是原先的状态导致你此刻坐在我的诊室里。所以当有人说‘只想做回曾经的自己’时，我们需要思考：这现实吗？

And I think that's the hardest part because so many people very quickly after trauma or any any kind of setback want to get back to who they were. I mean, it's not possible because this this event has transformed you and your understanding and framework of the world. But also for a lot of people going back to baseline also doesn't make sense because your baseline might have gotten you to where you are right now and why you're in my office to begin with. So really think about when someone says, just wanna be who I was. Is it realistic?

可能实现吗？更重要的是——这健康吗？

Is it possible? And is it healthy?

因为有时乐观主义看起来确实像是接受我们当下的处境，并给予自己处于那个位置的恩典。

Because sometimes optimism really seems like it's about kind of accepting where we are and giving ourselves the grace to to be in that spot.

是的，完全正确。乐观主义有趣之处在于，人们通常认为它只意味着看到事物积极的一面，却未意识到它还包含感恩、休闲、休息、自我同情、积极主动以及挑战思维方式等实践。乐观主义者自然而然做到这些，更不用说他们拥有更健康的习惯及其带来的益处。

Yes. Exactly. So it's it's interesting because when you think about optimism, it's just you think it only means one thing, is to look on the bright side, not recognizing that it includes a practice of gratitude, of leisure, of rest, of self compassion, of proactivity, of challenging the way that you're thinking. So there's so much more to it. And optimists do it naturally, not to mention having healthier habits and what's involved with that.

感谢苏·瓦尔玛医生和世界幸福峰会的团队向我介绍了苏的工作。若想了解更多关于峰会的信息或报名参加他们2026年的活动，可访问worldhappinesssummit.com。我与苏在Wahasu的对话极具启发性，忍不住要再分享一个亮点。

Thanks to Doctor. Sue Varma and the folks at the World Happiness Summit who introduced me to Sue's work. If you wanna learn more about the summit or sign up for their 2026 event, you can visit worldhappinesssummit.com. That's worldhappinesssummit.com. But my discussion with Sue at Wahasu was so insightful that I can't help but leave you with one more of highlights.

这是苏同意带领我和观众进行的一项名为‘命名它、认领它、驯服它、重构它’的练习。

This was when Sue agreed to lead me and the audience in a name it, claim it, tame it, and reframe it exercise.

好的。首先，如果你想闭上眼睛，请随意；想睁着也行，选择最适合你的方式。命名前因，想一个问题。

Okay. So first of all, like, just if you wanna close your eyes, feel free. If you wanna keep them open, you know, whatever worked best for you. Name the antecedent. Think of a problem.

想想今天或上周发生的任何可能触发你感到沮丧的事情。细节越具体，你越有可能准确指出并改变问题。极端如自杀案例中，人们也能明确指出‘是这些事件让我觉得生命失去价值，不想再活下去’。虽然这是个黑暗的例子，但只需想一个日常问题，命名前因。然后感受你的身体——或许这时你想闭上眼睛——身体的哪个部位感到紧绷？

Think of anything that might have happened today or in the last week that could have triggered you to feeling upset. And the more granular you get, the more likely you are to be able to put your finger on it and change the problem. And we see this even as far and extreme as suicide, where somebody can put their finger on, These were the events that led to me feeling like my life didn't have value anymore, I didn't want to live anymore. So that is a dark scenario, but just think of an everyday problem, name antecedent. Then I want you to feel in your body so maybe you want to close your eyes for this where in your body are you feeling the tension?

是下巴吗？肩膀？还是腿部？你通常将问题和压力储存在身体的哪个部位？现在你已经命名了前因。

Are you feeling it in your jaw? Are you feeling it in your shoulders? Are you feeling it in your legs? Where do you tend to hold the problem and the stress in your body? So now you've named the antecedent.

你已指出问题在身体的哪个部位显现，因为身体常会表达心灵无法言说的东西。对吧？它会以健康问题、头痛等形式出现。接下来我要教你驯服这部分的方法。每个人都有不同的自我安抚方式。

You've claimed where it is in your body because often the body will express what the mind cannot. Right? And it will take place in the form of medical problems, headaches, things like that. And then I want you this is the taming part. And everybody has a different form of self soothing.

有人可能会说想进行一分钟冥想。我称之为绿洲时刻——你屏蔽外界干扰，在内心找到安定的平静感。对吧？可以是一分钟冥想，或是基于最佳情境构想的方法。

Some people may say that I want to take a one minute meditation. I call these oasis moments where you are shutting the world out and finding your grounded sense of peace internally. Right? It could be one minute meditation. Or something that I've worked on that is based off of a best possible scenario.

这是个乐观干预练习。完整版十分钟，但这是一分钟精简版。如果想跟我一起做，现在开始。请轻轻闭上眼睛，放松身体，让双肩下沉，我将带你进行短暂的心灵之旅。既然我已让你构想了一个问题，对吧？

It's an optimism intervention. It's ten minutes, but this is a one minute version of it. So if you want to do this with me, let's go. I'd like to just close your eyes, settle in, let your shoulders drop, and I want to take you on a little journey with me. So now that I've asked you to envision a problem, right?

现在你已在脑海中清晰界定了问题。请想象一条通往解决方案的道路。要具体设想：那个解决方案是什么模样？通往解决之路又是什么景象？

So you've clearly defined the problem in your mind. I want you to imagine a road, a path leading to the solution to that problem. And I want you to get very specific. What does that solution look like? And what does the road to the solution look like?

这条路是笔直的？蜿蜒的？有曲折转弯吗？现在请想象我们正共同迈向那个解决方案。我们越来越接近了。

Is that road straight? Does it wind? Does it twist or turn? And now I want to imagine that we are walking together towards that solution. We're getting closer.

你越来越接近了。这个解决方案是你所能构想的最佳结果，你开始感受到期待中的兴奋、喜悦、成功、满足和自我实现的快感。你不断靠近，现在已抵达解决方案的最佳终点。请充分感受成功带来的所有情绪——掌控感、解决之道、平静、幸福与成功此刻正包围着你。

You're getting closer. And this solution is the best possible outcome that you could have envisioned, and you're starting to feel the anticipation of excitement, of delight, of success, of satisfaction, of personal gratification. You're getting closer, and now you have arrived at the best possible outcome of your solution. And I want you to feel all the feelings that come with success, with mastery, with resolution. Peace, happiness, and success are enveloping you right now.

请跟随我以五秒节奏深呼吸：用鼻子轻柔吸气，嘴巴缓慢呼气。你感到放松、充满希望、成功在握。记住这种感觉始终触手可及——通过你选择的积极心态，成功就在你内心可及之处。现在深呼吸一次，慢慢睁开眼睛。

I want you to take a deep breath to the count of five, inhaling gently through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. You're feeling relaxed, hopeful, successful. And just know that this feeling is always at your fingertips. Success is accessible within you through a positive mindset that you have chosen. And take a deep breath and open your eyes.

相当不错，对吧？这真的很棒。谢谢。

Pretty good, right? That's pretty good. Thank you.

欢迎收听《解码女性健康》。我是伊丽莎白·波因特医生，纽约市阿德里亚健康研究所女性健康与妇科主任。在本节目中，我将与顶尖研究人员和临床医生对话，解答你们迫切关注的问题，将关于女性健康及中年期的信息直接传递给你们。

Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Doctor. Elizabeth Pointer, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. On this show, I'll be talking to top researchers and top clinicians, asking them your burning questions and bringing that information about women's health and midlife directly to you.

百分之百的女性都会经历更年期。这可能严重影响我们的生活质量，但即便这是自然过程，我们为何要默默忍受？

A hundred percent of women go through menopause. It can be such a struggle for our quality of life, but even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it?

人们常讨论的症状包括忘性大——我以前从不会忘事。她们一方面担心自己得了痴呆症，另一方面又在怀疑：我是不是患了多动症？

The types of symptoms that people talk about is forgetting everything. I never used to forget things. They're concerned that one, they have dementia and the other one is do I have ADHD?

大麻素在改善睡眠、减轻疼痛、调节情绪以及提升日常生活质量方面展现出前所未有的潜力。

There is unprecedented promise with regard to cannabis and cannabinoids to sleep better, to have less pain, to have better mood and also to have better day to day life.

请在任意播客平台收听伊丽莎白·波因特医生主持的《解码女性健康》。本节目由iHeart播客出品。

Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Doctor. Elizabeth Pointer wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.