泰迪·梅伦坎普：如何在逆境中保持坚强、积极与勇敢 + 突破人生困境！（上）

我看着父亲和所有朋友，心想：我一天也待不下去了。我不能再这样生活。我太痛苦了，感觉没有我大家会过得更好。

I looked at my dad and all my friends. I'm like, I cannot stay in here another day. I can't live like this anymore. I am so miserable. I feel like everybody would be better without me.

你父亲是如何支持你的？

How has your dad shown up for you?

他做的远超出我的想象。没有父亲我根本做不到这些，不仅是经济方面。他主动介入，帮我请了护士，每天打电话确认我是否安好。

Oh, he has been beyond the things that I wouldn't be capable of doing without my dad, not only for financial reasons. He has stepped in. He's helped me have a nurse. He calls me every single day. He makes sure that I'm okay.

你成长过程中他也这么事无巨细吗？

Was he an involved dad like that growing up?

不。以前只要我需要，他百分百会出现——但前提是我主动开口。现在不同了，不管我求不求助，他都在那里。

No. He was always a 100% there if I needed him, but I think that was the quote, if I needed him. If I asked him, he was always there. Now he's there whether I ask or I don't ask.

你们现在比以往更亲近吗？当遭遇连串挫折，当生活像被突然抽走地毯，当被噩耗突袭时，你如何保持信念，相信事情终会好转？当无法理解上帝为何允许苦难发生时，如何维系信仰？今天我们荣幸邀请到电视名人泰迪·梅伦坎普，她因《比佛利娇妻》成名。

Do you feel closer to him now than ever? How do you stay positive and hopeful when you're in a season of setbacks, when it feels like one bad break after another? How do you hold on to faith and belief that things will turn out in your favor in the midst of what feels like the rug being pulled out from underneath you or feeling blindsided or receiving horrible news that you never saw coming. How do you reconcile your faith and your spirituality when it makes no sense why God would allow something so awful to be happening. Our incredible guest today, Teddy Mellencamp, is a television personality who rose to fame on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

她也是爆红播客《两杯茶》的主持人，音乐人约翰·梅伦坎普的妻子，三个可爱孩子Slate、Cruz和Dove的母亲，还是继女Isabella的继母。我很荣幸称她为朋友。当她的影响力持续扩大时，此刻她正经历着难以想象的生死抗争——近期她被诊断出四期黑色素瘤，并已转移至脑部和肺部。本期节目将前所未有地深刻。

She's also the cohost of the wildly popular podcast called Two Teas in a musician John Mellencamp, a mom to her beloved little ones, Slate, Cruz, and Dove. She's also the stepmother to Isabella, and I'm so grateful to call her friend. As her impact and following continues to explode, she's also going through the unimaginable and the fight of her life in this very moment right now. Teddy was recently diagnosed with stage four melanoma, which she shared has metastasized to her brain and lungs. And today's episode of the podcast is unlike any before.

请备好纸巾，准备好为生活中习以为常的福分涌起深切感恩。我们当然也会聊些趣事，揭秘你最爱的真人秀幕后故事，还有更多精彩内容。

So get your tissues out and get ready to feel overwhelming gratitude perspective for the blessings in your life right now that can be so easy for us to take for granted when we have them. And of course, we have a little fun too and get the inside scoop on what really happens behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV shows and so much more.

我不知道该怎么定义我和埃德温的关系——我们曾结婚，后来申请离婚，接着我患癌，一切就搁置了。我不恨他，他永远是我的朋友。事实就是如此：我发病时打电话让他送医。如果他愿意，现在完全可以继续推进离婚程序。

I don't know what you call somebody that you were married to and then you filed for divorce and then you got cancer so then everything went on hold. I don't hate Edwin. Like Edwin will always be my friend. I think it shows by he was the person that I called to take me to the hospital. If he wanted to, he could still be filing and finishing this divorce off right now.

但像我父亲和家人说的：现在不该让她处理这些。真希望二期时我能多和埃德温沟通需求。男人总想当保护者和解决者，而我当时只想有人陪我躺着看电影，想要有人能暂时陪我一起崩溃，而不是急着修复我。

But like my dad and family just said, like, I don't think this is the right thing for her to be able to try to navigate right now or figure out. I wish when I did have stage two, I would have talked to Edwin about it more and what I needed. Because I think men so often wanna be the protector and the provider and the this and the that. We're like, I just wanted somebody to come lay in bed with me and watch a movie. You know, like I wanted just someone to collapse with me for a little bit, not fix me.

一旦你那样做了，一旦你不再关心，就很难维系下去。真的很难维系。直到今天我都觉得自己很幸运。我是说，我们还住在一起。有些周他会住在我们另一处房子里，但这周我告诉他我病得很重。

Once you do that, once you take the care out, it's really hard to make it. It's really hard to make it. And I'm lucky to this day. Like, I mean, we're staying in the house together. Some weeks, he'll stay at our other house, but, like, this week, I told him I'm really sick.

他现在就住在我们楼下卧室里。

And he's, like, staying downstairs in the bedroom at our house right now.

比如可以住在同一屋檐下。

Like can live in the same house.

我们可以同住一个屋檐。我完全可以接受他约会。你知道，就像我...我是说我能接受。

We can live in the same house. I would be fine with him dating. You know, like I being I would be.

他能接受你约会吗？

Is he fine with you dating?

我不知道。我和心理治疗师谈过这事。我说如果我有冲动——如果有人约我出去，她就说你应该去。她说任何你现在想做的事，只要心里想做就去做。她说甚至可以是...如果是他约你而你愿意去，没人能给你设限。

I don't know. I talked to my therapist about it. I'm like, if I feel the urge if I get asked on a date or if somebody wants to take me out, she's like, you should go. She's like, anything that you want to do right now and you feel in your heart that you wanna do, do it. She's like, it could even be it could be a date with if he asked you on a date and you wanted to go, nobody's setting any rules for you.

我只希望他快乐，希望孩子们快乐，不想做任何伤害他的事。但我不确定是否需要...某种程度上我了解我们的婚姻运作方式。

I just want him to be happy and I want our kids to be happy and I don't want to do anything to hurt him. But I don't know that I need to like, I kind of I kind of know how our marriage works.

你觉得这种状态会改变吗？

And do you think it could change?

医生检查后说：不，你肩膀上的黑色素瘤已经转移了，脑部有九个肿瘤，肺部有两个。立刻就要手术。我完全没料到癌症会转移，之前也没有医生提醒过我。如果说我完全不愤怒那是假的——为什么这事会发生在我身上？

The doctors checked and they're like, No, your melanoma that was on your shoulder metastasized and you have nine tumors in your brain and you have two tumors in your lung. It immediately became surgery. Never would have I had guessed that my cancer had metastasized, and no doctors had said anything to me about it. I would be lying if I said I didn't also have a little bit of anger. Why did this happen to me?

所以我必须继续抗争。感到悲伤很正常，很多人都会悲伤。这不意味着你就会死。这是一场战斗，我必须时刻保持战斗状态。

So I have to keep fighting. It's okay to feel sad. A lot of people feel sad. And it doesn't have to mean that you're gonna die. And this is a struggle, and I'm going to have to keep fighting all the time.

我不能因为害怕死亡而活得战战兢兢，以至于根本不敢真正生活。

I can't live my life so afraid that I'm gonna die that I don't live at all.

医生们现在给出的预后判断是什么？

What is the prognosis right now that doctors say?

我想说大概是五五开吧。但说真的，当我这么说的时候我是真心相信的——这让我有点激动。我真心相信自己会活下去。我必须这么相信。否则的话，这实在太令人难过了。

I would say probably fiftyfifty. But like, I truly believe this when I say this and it's going make me emotional. I truly believe that I'm going to live. I need to believe it. Because if not, it's just too sad.

无论今天你是为自己收听，还是因为所爱之人与你分享这期节目，我都要欢迎你加入Jamie Kernley Michelle播客大家庭。非常感谢你的到来。能否花两秒钟在你收听或观看的平台上点击订阅或关注按钮？这对我意义重大。你还可以免费获取我发送到邮箱的励志内容。

Whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone you love shared this episode with you, I wanna welcome you to the Jamie Kernley Michelle podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe or follow button on the app you're listening or watching on? It truly means so much to me. You can also get inspiration into your inbox from me for free.

你可以通过jamiekernlima.com加入我的邮件社群。今天这期精彩的播客节目不仅是为你我准备的，请把它分享给你认识的每一个可能需要获得启发或增强自信的人。因为你即将听到的内容，真的可能改变我、你以及他们的生活。

You can join my newsletter community at jamiekernlima.com. And this incredible podcast episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration today or perhaps a boost in their self belief. Because what you're about to hear can truly impact mine, yours, and their lives too.

欢迎收听Jamie Kern Lima的节目。

Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

奥普拉，你是如何突破重重困难的？

Oprah, how have you defied the odds?

她的节目与我参与过的任何节目都不同。

Her show is unlike any I've ever done.

聆听时如同醍醐灌顶，感觉像被拥抱，而你的大脑、精神和心灵都在惊叹'哇'。梅琳达·弗兰奇·盖茨。

A revelation when you listen it feels like a hug, but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like wow. Melinda French Gates.

当我凝视Jamie的眼睛时，感觉像是与她处在某种宇宙层面的连接中。我能看见她周身的光芒。她整个人都充盈着光。

When I look into Jamie's eyes I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light.

想象一下战胜自我怀疑，学会相信自己

Imagine overcoming self doubt, learning to believe in

杰米，你太鼓舞人心了。

Jamie, you're so inspiring.

杰米·克恩·利马。

Jamie Kern Lima.

泰迪·梅伦坎普。欢迎来到杰米·克恩·利马秀。

Teddy Melenkamp. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

非常感谢邀请我。你的开场介绍就让我很感动，因为感觉这些事发生时你都在场。我们相识已超过六年，我还记得我生小德夫时你送的花。记得开始筹备这个播客时，我说换了新号码你立刻就能理解。

Thank you so much for having me. I mean, even your intro made me emotional because I feel like so many of these things have happened and you've been there. Like, I've known you throughout you know, it's it's been over six years now. And so I when I had baby Dev, I can still remember the flowers that you sent. I can still remember, you know, knowing that when we started reaching out by this pod that you would understand when I said, got a new phone number.

是的。我甚至没告诉任何人新号码。直接把旧手机称作'肿瘤电话'想摆脱它。真正需要我的人自然会找到我。

Yes. And I didn't even give anybody it. I just call the old one, my tumor phone, and I wanted to be rid of it. Yeah. And when the right people needed me, they would find me.

感谢你的到来，也感谢你做的一切。天啊，刚才进场时我提到，第一次看到你发布肩后一期皮肤癌照片时...

Yeah. Well, thank you for being here, and thank you for everything you're doing. Oh my goodness. I I mentioned to you when we were walking in that the first time I ever saw you post a picture right behind your shoulder when you had stage one Yeah. Skin cancer.

我立刻去做了检查。想到你现在通过分享故事影响着多少人——数百万人都正与你共同经历这段旅程。

I went and got checked. And I'm just thinking about the number of people you're impacting right now through you sharing parts of your story. Millions of people are going through this journey with you.

是的。我觉得这非常重要。以前我总认为'不痛不痒就没事'。肩膀上的黑色素瘤我拖了三年。

Yeah. I mean, I think it's so important. I mean, I always was one of those people that was like, well, if it's not hurting, it's not bothering me. You know? So when it came to the melanomas on my shoulder, I went through that process for about three years.

前后切除了十七次。手臂上最严重是二期，做了大手术。三个月复查后我以为结束了，再没人建议进一步治疗。

And I had, I think, seventeen removed. But the highest stage I ever had on my arm was stage two. And I had massive surgeries. And then I kind of thought once I went in for my three month checkup, I was done. And then nobody suggested anything else.

于是我就这样生活着，以为自己已经痊愈了。后来在做播客期间，我其实还在为超级碗工作。我开始感到非常不适，头痛得厉害。那时我还在骑马。

So I just went along my life thinking that I was healed. And then for about I was doing the podcast. I was actually working the Super Bowl. And I just started feeling really like, I had the worst headaches. I was riding horses.

我依然做着所有平常在做的事，但头痛开始主宰我的生活。就像，天哪，我这是偏头痛吗？这些是什么？我试过偏头痛药。

I was doing all the things that I had always been doing, but my headaches had started taking over my life. Like, was like, gosh. Am I having migraines? What are these? I tried migraine medication.

药物只会让我焦虑。我搞不清楚原因。在超级碗工作时，我看着搭档塔玛拉说：'我得值早班，因为我得提前离开。'她反问：'什么意思？'

All it would do is make me anxious. I couldn't figure out what it was. And I was working the Super Bowl and I looked at Tamara, who's one of my co hosts. And I said, I I need to do the morning shift because I need to leave. And she's like, what do you mean?

'你从没请过病假。'我说：'我不记得自己在说什么了。'她震惊道：'什么？'我解释：'如果我突然沉默，你得接话，因为我可能失忆。'她追问：'比如记不得我们代表哪家公司？'

You've never called in sick a day of your life. And I'm like, I can't remember what I'm talking about. And she's like, what? And I'm like, or if I just get silent, you have to fill in for me because I cannot remember. And she's like, like, you can't remember what company we're here for.

我承认：'对。'次日飞回家后，我对前夫说——不知该怎么称呼这个离异途中因我患癌而复合的人。没错，这很复杂。

And I was like, no. So I flew home the next day. I told my ex husband, I I don't know what you call somebody that you were married to and then filed for divorce and then you got cancer, so then everything went on home. Yeah. It's a lot.

最终我打给埃德温：'我在家，刚结束超级碗工作，现在看不见也说不出话。快送我去医院。'

I don't know what it's called, but Edwin. I called Edwin. And I said, I'm at the house. I just got back from the Super Bowl, and I can't see, and I can't talk. Please come take me to the hospital.

入院后医生立即怀疑脑动脉瘤，但检查发现是肩部黑色素瘤转移——脑部9个肿瘤，肺部2个。随即安排了手术。

And that's when I went in. And immediately, as soon as they saw me, everybody had kind of thought brain aneurysm. They're like, why would something happen so quickly? But then the doctors checked and they're like, no, your melanoma that was on your shoulder metastasized and you have nine tumors in your brain, and you have two tumors in your lung. It immediately became surgery.

我完全没意识到病情会发展到这种地步。虽然生活中出现过异常征兆，但绝没想到癌症已转移。更讽刺的是，从没有医生提醒过我这种可能性。

And it was so beyond me that I had zero idea that this is what was going on with me. You know, like some different things that happened in my life, and I started feeling a different way. But never would have I guessed that my cancer had metastasized. And no doctors had said anything to me about it. Now I do the research.

后来查阅资料才明白：'原来这种情况并不罕见——当然，这么快恶化到四期确实少见。'这是个惨痛的教训，所以我反复强调：不仅要定期体检，更要趁早买人寿保险——我因手臂出现斑点后被拒保了。

And I'm like, oh, wow, that's actually pretty common that that could happen. I mean, not for it to turn into stage four that quickly, but you know, it's one of those things. It's a big learning process, and I've obsessively talked to you about this. Guys, not only should you get checked, everything checked, you also need to get life insurance Because I waited only till the first spot on my arm came, and I was rejected. So you can get life insurance at any time.

人寿保险应该成为人生标配：童年可投保，成年可投保，重大变故前更要投保。记住这个忠告——就像筹备婚礼时就会考虑的那样。

You can get it as a kid. You can get it as an adult. You can get it at any point in your life that something major has happened. Just think life insurance. Oh, we're just getting married.

哦，我们应该买人寿保险。因为等待，现在我无法为家人提供这份保障。当我知道原本可以轻易做到这件事——我是说，有无数公司提供这种服务——却为何拖延，为何认为自己可以等到年纪更大时再办，这种感觉很可怕。这次经历是个提醒。

Oh, we should get life insurance. Because waiting, now I don't have that to fall back on with my family. And that's a scary feeling when I know that had I done something like that that's so simple, I mean, there's a million companies that do it. Why I didn't you know, why I thought I could wait till I was older. This was a reminder.

泰迪，你都四十几岁了，已经老了。快去体检吧。

Teddy, mid forties, you're old. Go get checked.

太多人了。我知道除了我之外，还有很多人因为你的故事去做了检查。我知道有很多人一直在为你祈祷。谢谢你。这些年来整个历程中都是如此。你现在各方面情况如何？

So many people. I already know beyond me have gotten checked because of your story. I know a lot of people have been praying for you Thank you. Just for years through this whole journey. And where are you at now with everything?

说到我与上帝的关系，我的状态时好时坏。你知道，我会和心理治疗师交谈，虽然现在没有公开去教堂，但有一位牧师专门抽时间和我讨论要积极面对，要相信我已经战胜癌症，相信上帝希望我痊愈。在这方面我大多保持积极态度，但如果说我完全没有愤怒是假的——为什么这事会发生在我身上？

I would say when it comes to, like, my relationship with God, I have days. You know, like, I I speak to a therapist, and then I also I go I don't go publicly to church right now, but I have somebody who is pastor and speaks to me and takes the time to kind of talk about the positivity and believing that I no longer have cancer and that God wants me to heal. So I mean, I have a lot of positivity when it comes to that. But I would be lying if I said I didn't also have a little bit of anger. Why did this happen to me?

在我心里，我一直觉得自己非常健康。我注重保养，有一群出色的孩子，经常运动。自从发现因日晒患上皮肤癌后，我就避免晒太阳了。可为什么偏偏是我？

I was, know, like in my mind I was so healthy. Was taking care of myself. I have, you know, all these amazing kids. I play sports. Once I found out that I had sun, you know, skin cancer from the sun, I stayed out of the sun, like why me?

你知道吗？所以我觉得这种情绪时起时伏，就像我的人生轨迹。刚经历这段旅程时，我感觉比现在更好，因为以为病痛会立刻消失。你以为什么？我以为会立刻痊愈。

What, you know? And so I think it it ebbs and flows and I think that that's how my life goes. And I think when I first came out of this journey, I felt better than I do now because I thought it was gonna go right away. You thought what? I thought it was gonna go right away.

我原以为做完脑瘤手术后，第一次扫描时医生会说其他肿瘤都消失了，你痊愈了。但他们没有这么说，反而告诉我可能还要接受两年免疫治疗。这种时刻，有时我需要强装快乐，因为记得当初医生宣判我存活几率时的情景。

Like, I thought that after I had my surgeries from my brain tumors that then I was gonna go in for that first scan and they were gonna say, the rest of the tumors are gone. You're healed. And then they didn't. And then they said, you'll probably be in immunotherapy for another two years. So in those moments, you know, there are some times that I'm like, I need to be so happy because I remember when they told me my chances of living.

但我直接忽略了那些负面信息，只专注于'我正在康复'。可到底还要多久？什么时候才能变回原来的我？没人知道答案。

But I just brushed right over those and went right on over to, I'm healing. So how long until I heal? How long time back to me? And nobody knows.

现阶段，你把多少精力花在恐惧上，多少用在坚定信念上？

Right now, how much of your energy goes to fear and how much of it goes to full belief?

应该说大部分精力都投入在信念上。主要是这样——我要感谢社交媒体上的许多人，因为大量网友联系我说'我去做了检查'或'我妈妈得过这个病'等等，这些微小的联系，还有朋友们的支持，都让我相信：无论我做过多少不那么好的事，但这件事我做对了。

I would say a lot of my energy, it's goes to belief. Goes to belief. Mainly because and I have to thank a lot of people on social media. Mainly because the amount of people that have reached out and said, I got checked or my mom had this or, you know, whatever it may be, just those little bit of contacts. Or even my friends, they've given me that belief that no matter how many maybe not so great things that I've done, this is one of the great ones.

你知道吗？就像这样帮助某人修复心灵，或者让他们明白并非只有自己经历这些，感到孤独或悲伤都是正常的。愤怒主要源于——我对此心知肚明——就像每个早晨。我醒来时，原本习惯立刻起床，给孩子准备上学，锻炼身体，遵循我的日常。

You know? Like this is helping somebody get fixed or this is helping somebody know that it didn't happen only to them or it's okay to feel lonely or it's okay to feel sad. The anger mainly comes I mean, I kind of know it to a t. It's like the morning. I wake up, and that's when I'm used to hopping right up, getting my kids ready for school, working out, following my routine.

我再也没有固定作息了。这让我深刻意识到生活本就不完美。你无需完美，只需出现。只要你出现并做那些能让自己感觉足够好的事，大多数日子结束时我都会感觉很棒。

I have no routine anymore. And I think that was a big wake up call that life isn't perfect. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to show up. And if you show up and you you do what's gonna make you feel good enough, most days, I end up feeling great.

但如果我沉溺在那个瞬间，那一天就会很糟糕。但我能控制这点。我可能仍会感到不适或胃痛，或是遗憾错过孩子的某个重要时刻。但至少我能掌控某些事。

But if I just stay there in that moment, it'll be a terrible day. But I can control that. I may still feel sick or may have stomachache or be bummed that I have to miss something that one of my kids is doing. But I'm in control of something.

嗯。

Mhmm.

也许不是治愈，而是我如何面对自己。

Maybe not healing, but how I show up for myself.

医生现在给出的预后判断是什么？

What is the prognosis right now that doctors say?

我想说五五开吧。但说真的——这话会让我情绪激动——我真心相信自己能活下去。虽然未来几年可能会很艰难，坦白说，可能会很孤独，因为没多少人知道如何与四期癌症患者交谈。

I would say probably fifty fifty. But, like, I truly believe this when I say this and it's gonna make me emotional. I truly believe that I'm gonna live. I think that I'm gonna have, like, some rough years. Truthfully, I think I'm gonna have some lonely years because not many people know how to talk to somebody who have stage four cancer.

你能从他们眼神里看出来。但我对孩子、亲人和朋友都非常坦诚。每个人的反应不同，但我始终坚定认为：我希望悲伤消散，但我知道自己会活下去。所以我必须继续战斗。

I mean, you see in their eyes, they you know? But I've been very open with my kids, my loved ones, and my friends. And I would say everybody kinda handles it differently. But I'm I've been pretty steady in the fact of, like, I want the sadness to go away, but I know I'm going to live. So I have to keep fighting.

有位女士联系我说，她曾患和我一样的病，但六年没走出房间。她的话给了我莫大力量——我能走出房间，我能做到。感到悲伤也没关系。

And I have one woman who reached out to me and said, I had what you had, but I didn't leave my room for six years. And just hearing her say that gave me so much strength. Like, I can leave my room. I can do this. And it's okay to feel sad.

很多人都会悲伤。这并不意味着你会死去。这是一场抗争，我必须持续奋斗，为我爱的人出现让他们知道。这段经历教会我保持坦率，比如我会直接告诉孩子们：今天就是那种日子，伙计们。

A lot of people feel sad. And it doesn't have to mean that you're gonna die. And this is a struggle, and I'm going to have to keep fighting all the time and showing up for the people that I love so they know. But it's taught me to be very open. Like, I'm very open with my kids about, like, it's just gonna be one of those days today, guys.

我非常爱你。但如果我只游了十分钟就显得累了，请不要往心里去。我只是状态不佳，但我想让你知道，我爱你胜过世上一切。

I love you so much. But if I only swim for ten minutes and then I seem like I'm tired, please don't take it personally. I just I don't feel my best, but I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world.

这对你的孩子们有什么影响？

How has this impacted your kids?

每个孩子的情况都不太一样。12岁的斯莱特有点像迷你版的我——凡事都要按计划执行，我们制定了计划就坚决遵守。我确实在她身上培养了些这种特质，有时我会想，这以后可能会给她带来些麻烦。但她非常贴心，只要察觉到我口渴，就会立刻拿着儿科医生曾建议她给我喝的电解质水过来。

Every one of the kids, it's kind of different. Slate, the 12 year old, she is kind of my probably like my mini me in the way that like, everything's just so and here we go and this is our plan and we're sticking to the plan. And, you know, so I definitely created some of those things in her. I'm like, gosh, that's gonna cause you some trouble later in life. But she's very much, you know, the second that she could tell I'm thirsty, like, she's there with, like, the Pedialyte the doctor told her one time to give me.

直到现在还是这样。她总是备着电解质水。而克鲁兹原本是我最胆小的孩子，他以前最怕独处，不喜欢自己睡，是孩子里最忧心忡忡的那个——现在却变得特别勇敢。今年他第一次参加了夏令营，还去主题公园参加了通宵生日派对。

So now it's, like, still to this day. She's like, Pedialyte's stocked. And then Cruz, who before was my most timid of children, like he'd have the most fear or he didn't like sleeping in his own bed, like he was kind of the one that had the most worries, he stood up. And he is I mean, like he went to his first camp this year. He's doing all these things that he would he did like a sleepover birthday at like a theme park.

所有这些他以前绝对会拒绝的事，现在都欣然接受了。他还对我说：‘妈妈，我真的想过好这一生。还有，我要让你知道，现在我是家里的男子汉了。’天啊，这难道不是最暖心的话吗？

You know, like all these things that he would normally say no to, he's saying yes to. And he's like, mom, I just really wanna live a good life. Wow. And I want you to know that like, I'm the man of the house. I know, is that not the sweetest?

他才10岁呢。至于小鸽子（Dove），她会做任何事逗你笑。我不确定她是否真正明白现状，但她最近说要再剪头发，而且要剃光头。我说咱们先从波波头开始吧。

He's only 10. And then Dove will do just about anything to make you laugh. So I don't know if she really knows what's going on, but she says she wants another haircut and she'd like it bald. And I was like, let's let's go with a bob to start.

你觉得他们三个会如何描述——或者你希望他们如何描述自己的母亲？

What do you think the three of them would say or what do you hope they would say about who their mom is?

我想他们会说...

I think they'd say.

我们需要短暂休息一下。趁这个空档，请把这期节目分享给所有可能受到鼓舞的人——这场对话或许正是他们今天需要听到的：能让他们坚持前行，记住自己很重要，感到不再孤独，更加充实、更有联结感，更明白自身价值。

We need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do, take a moment to share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire, because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected, and more worthy.

我对这本书充满期待。知道为什么吗？因为它将拯救无数人。你的这本美丽新书《Worthy》会拯救他们。

I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's gonna save them. Were thee your new beautiful book worthy,

买下这本书。我告诉你，这本书

get this book. This book, I'm telling you,

这是一本书

it's a book

能改变任何拿起它的人的人生。

that can change anybody's life who picks it up.

任何曾觉得自己不够好、达不到标准、生活中缺失些什么的人。我必须告诉你，

Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's missing in your life. I have to tell you,

它充满力量。它正在发生。它值得拥有。

it's powerful. It's happening. It's worth it.

想象一下，如果你完全相信自己，你会做什么。我从一个面临不断拒绝的挣扎女服务生，通过学习如何克服自我怀疑并相信自己配得上希望与梦想，成为了IT Cosmetics的创始人，一家价值十亿美元的公司。现在，我在我的新书《Worthy》中分享你也能做到的方法。如果你准备好真正信任自己，突破自我怀疑的障碍，并明白你的出身甚至现状并不能决定你的未来，那么《Worthy》就是为你准备的。是时候行动了。

Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you. I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection to founder of IT Cosmetics, a billion dollar company by learning how to overcome self doubt and believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams, and I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self doubt and know that where you come from or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then worthy is for you. It's time to that. That.

行动起来吧。因为在生活中，我们不会成为我们想要的样子，而是成为我们相信自己配得上的样子。今天就加入Worthy运动，在任何售书的地方获取你的《Worthy》副本，然后立即访问worthybook.com获取免费礼物，包括我的五部分课程《如何变得不可阻挡》和95页的《Worthy》行动手册，教你如何将书中的工具立即应用到现实生活中。

Do going Because in life, we don't become able what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold, then head to worthybook.com now for free gifts including my five part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95 page Worthy workbook action plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now.

《Worthy》具有开创性。

Worthy is groundbreaking.

哟。天啊。《Worthy》。你值得拥有。

Yo. My god. Worthy. You are worthy.

这本书将改变人生。

This book is gonna change lives.

这本书将实实在在地教会你如何真正感受到自我价值，从而获得力量与信心。

This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence.

书中的人生课程与策略将改变你的一生，读完这本书后你将焕然一新。

The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book.

珍妮的《值得》是必读之作，它会激励你、赋予你力量，给予你所需的希望，以及你应得的鞭策。

Janie's book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve.

杰米的《值得》令人惊叹。赠品即将截止领取，但现在在worthybook.com上仍可免费获取。现在让我们继续这场精彩对话——你认为他们三人会如何评价自己的母亲？或你希望他们如何描述？

Jamie's book Worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. And now more of this incredible conversation together. What do you think the three of them would say or what do you hope they would say about who their mom is?

我想他们会说我是个战士。当他们回忆或注视母亲时，会说她是个好妈妈——有趣、拥有出色的朋友和美好的家庭。我的圈子或许不大，但圈子里都是我愿意生死与共的人。

I think they'd say I was a fighter. I think they'd say that when they look back at their mom or when they look at their mom, their mom's a good mom. She's fun. She has amazing friends, good family. I may not have a huge circle, but who's in my circle?

我认为这非常真实。孩子们能感受到这点，这给了他们塑造自我人格的巨大力量。重要的不是认识成千上万的人。

We all live or die for. And I think that that's very true. Like, think my kids see that. And I think it gives them so much strength about who they wanna be, the kind of people they wanna be. You know, it's not about knowing thousands and thousands of people.

而是那二十个你真正深爱的人。

It's about the 20 that you that you really love.

关于你的朋友和社交圈，能否谈谈他们对你的意义与支持？同时也作为朋友的角度——正如你之前所说，很多人会不知所措，然后就真的什么都不做。

With your friends and your circle of friends, can you talk about what they mean to you, how they've supported you? And also, as a friend. Because to your point earlier, a lot of people are like, I don't know what to do. Yeah. And then they don't know what to do.

那么对于听众们，该如何最好地支持正在经历困境的朋友呢？

And so for everyone listening, how do they best support a friend going through something really hard?

首先——虽然我不喜欢用否定词开头——但若朋友身体不适，尽量避免连珠炮似的提问。对我而言，最受用的是简单一句：'我在这儿，爱你，有需要随时找我'，这就是初次关心不适者最基本的方式。

Well, I would say the first thing is and I don't love to say don't at the beginning of a sentence, but try not to ask a million questions of your friend if she's feeling sick. For me, I always respond best to, hey, I'm here for you. I love you. If you need anything, let me know. That's just like the basis of like just if your first time just reaching out to somebody who's not feeling well.

是的。

Yeah.

这减轻了我的压力，我不再觉得必须回应、必须如何回应或必须为这个人表现出某种样子，因为我突然在脑海中虚构出对方对我的期待——虽然并非事实，却是我自己认定的。所以我认为这是首要的转变。但当时有大约15位朋友轮流来医院陪我，因为我必须住院19天。我在重症监护室，所以需要在家人之间轮换陪护，毕竟要求同一个人连续陪护这么多天实在太过勉强。

That relieves the pressure of feeling like I need to respond and how I need to respond or how I need to show up for this person because all of a sudden, I've created this thing in my head that this person is expecting of me, which is not the truth, but it's what I've decided. So I would say that that's the first thing. But I had about 15 friends that came into the hospital with me because I had to be for nineteen days. I was in the ICU, and so it had to rotate between family and, you know, because, I mean, asking somebody to be there that many days would have been a lot. So my friends rotated in and out.

其实我根本不需要刻意做什么，他们自然而然就学会了不把事情个人化。当你挣扎求生、住院治疗却连原因都不清楚时——我当时甚至不知道自己为何住院，不知道何时能出院，连当天是几号都搞不清楚。

And I had to I didn't even have to do it. They just learned to do it, not take things personally. When you're struggling and you're in the hospital and you don't under like, I didn't even know why I was there. I didn't know when I could leave. I didn't know what day it was.

每天都会有人来问我日期，而我总答不上来，连年份都不知道。后来我气得开始试图撒谎，等他们告诉我日期后，我就立刻写下来贴在床边。第二天还自以为聪明，觉得能从那里看到日期，完全没想到需要加一天。

Every day somebody would come in and ask me the date, and I wouldn't know it. I wouldn't even know the year. And then I would get so mad that I then started trying to lie about it. I'd write it down as soon as they tell me, and then I put it on the side of my bed. And then the next day, think I was some kind of genius, and I could read it from there, not thinking I needed to add a day.

但他们都表示：'我们不能把情绪个人化，你正在经历太多苦难，我们只需要爱你。'经历这一切后，虽然我觉得有很多事本可以做得不同，但最重要的是，我变得柔软了，心中有了更多爱意。

But they all said, you know, we we can't take things personally. You're going through so much that, like, we just need to love you. And I can say that after this process, I mean, there's so many things that I feel like I've done I could have done differently. But more than anything, I feel like a softer person. I feel like I have more love in my heart.

我对朋友、孩子和家人都产生了更多同理心。我想这要归功于他们，因为在我最糟糕的时刻，是他们支撑着我。

I feel like I have more empathy for my friends and my kids and my family. And I think that's because of them, because they supported me at my worst.

我记得你还说过，如果有人发信息时加上'无需回复'会特别贴心。

I know you said also when like, it's so helpful if someone sends you a text to say no need to reply.

对，写上无需回复。因为我们所处的这个世界——尤其是现在社交媒体时代——总有种无形的压力。比如有人会问：'你看到我发的动态了吗？' 没有，我没看到，抱歉。

No need to reply Because there is this there's something in this world that we live in now, especially now that it's even on social media. Like, somebody will be like, did you see the post that I did? No. I didn't see it. Sorry.

其实我根本没看到那条动态。但有时我会违心说看到了，假装自己整天刷Instagram就为了给人点赞。人生某些阶段或许确实会这样，我并非在指责谁。但当对方用那种'你没看我动态就是辜负我'的语气，比如'看到我女儿的生日动态了吗？'

I didn't see the post. But even that, I'll be like, yes, I'm just scrolling Instagram constantly looking for people's posts to like. And yes, there are different stages in our life where maybe we are like that. And I'm not shaming anyone, but like when we say it like that, it's like you've let me down by not seeing my post. Like did you see my daughter's birthday post?

没有。这时我内心就会涌起愤怒想说：'我连自己女儿生日都记不清，怎么可能看到？' 但我必须深呼吸平复情绪：'我没看到，能发张截图给我吗？'

No. And then there's the part of me that wants to have the anger and be like, I didn't even know when my daughter's birthday was, so no. So I have to then be like, take a deep breath. I didn't. Can you text me a picture of it?

我很想看看。然后，你知道的，展示那种程度。但如果有人只是简单地说，比如，我在这儿。爱你。如果你需要我，我更可能会回应说，嘿，我听说你女儿今天生日。

I would love to see it. And then, you know, show that show that level. But it kind of if somebody just says, like, I'm here. Love you. If you need me I'm more inclined to be like, hey, I heard it was your daughter's birthday.

我很想和你聊聊。你想一起喝杯咖啡吗？你知道，就像所有那些我更愿意主动付出努力的情况，而不是当人们觉得这是理所当然的时候。

I'd love to talk to you. Do you want to meet for coffee? You know, like all those I'm more inclined to want to make an effort than when people expect it.

是的。我觉得你分享的内容很美，实际上会对很多人有帮助，因为当你经历某些事时，天啊。我想很多人没意识到，如果他们只是主动问一句，你怎么样？最近有什么新鲜事？

Yeah. And I think it's beautiful what you shared. It's gonna actually be helpful for so many people because when you're going through something, oh my gosh. And I think a lot of people don't realize if they just reach out and say, how are you? What's what's the latest news?

现在他们当然是因为关心才这么做，但他们却给你增加了负担。是的，他们现在给你列了个待办清单。我认为这是个很深刻的启示——只需发条信息问候，并注明无需回复。

What's They've now Of course, they're doing it because they care, but they've now created work for you. Yeah. They've now created a to do list for you. And I think that's such a powerful takeaway of just sending a text, checking in, and saying no need to reply. No need to reply.

因为这就像，好吧。你懂我的意思吧？

Because it's just like, okay. Like it's You know what I mean?

然后可能在三个月后我突然想到，哦，你知道我现在特别想和谁聊聊吗？就是这个人。是的。然后我会翻看记录，发现有条未读信息。那种他们希望我在三个月前感受到的温暖，我现在依然能感受到。

And then I may find three months later like, oh, you know who I really wanna talk to is this person. Yeah. And then I'll go back and I'll see that there was a text message. Yeah. And then I feel that same feeling that they were hoping I was gonna feel three months ago.

这份心意不会消失。

It doesn't disappear.

没错。没错。

Yes. Yes.

它只是静静地存在着，哇，原来他们当时就在那里支持我。是的。而我甚至都没意识到。

It just goes, wow. They were there for me then. Yeah. And I didn't even know it.

是的。我特别喜欢这次对话，因为这是个艰难的话题——很多人根本不知道该怎么做。很多时候，当别人经历困境时，就像你之前说的，我能从对方眼神看出他们不知如何回应，比如在和四期癌症患者交谈时。他们不知道该做什么、说什么或怎么应对。而当人们有这种感受时，很多人就会选择退缩或干脆回避。

Yeah. I love this conversation, because it's a it's a hard conversation, the sense of that so many people just don't know what to do. And then a lot of times, you know, when someone's going through something hard, they also You said earlier, I can see in someone's eyes when they don't know how to respond to that they're maybe talking to someone with stage four cancer. Yeah. And they don't know what to do or what to say or how to And then a lot of people when they feel that way, they just They kinda turtle or they don't

他们要么退缩，要么可能用悲伤的眼神看着你。然后突然间我就想，不，我们一定能战胜这个，懂吗？但真的遇到了太多陌生人分享故事的奇妙经历。比如有位先生，当时我和女儿坐在一起。

They turtle or they may They look at you with sadness. And then all of a sudden I'm like, well, no. Like, we're beating this, you know? Like but there's there's been so many incredible stories of just strangers that I have met who've shared information. I mean, there was one gentleman I was sitting with my daughter.

她写关于马的文章。我完全不认识他。见面时我戴着骑术头盔（我戴假发）。当时戴着头发和女儿坐着。

She writes horses. I don't know him at all. And when I met him, I had my riding helmet on. So you wear fake hair. And so I had my hair on, I'm sitting with my daughter.

他提到类似'我女儿最近让我很煎熬'的话。我说'真抱歉，怎么了？'他反问'你觉得会是什么原因？青春期吗？'

And he said something along the lines of like, oh, my daughter's really putting me through it these days. And I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Why? And he's like I'm like, what do think it is? Teenage years?

你知道的，这类情况。结果他说'她妈妈去世了'。我连忙道歉。后来白天我抽空去换了装束。

You know, something. And he's like, her mom passed. I And was like, I'm so sorry. And then time passed throughout the day. I went and changed.

回来时我光头示人。他说'早先不知道告诉你那些话时，可能影响到你'。我说'这是好的影响，你能坦然说出来就说明不觉得羞耻'，并问'能问问具体原因吗？'

I came back. I was bald. And he said, I didn't know earlier when I told you that that this could have affected you and what I said. And I said, it affected me in a good way that you felt comfortable enough to say it that it wasn't so shameful. And I said, do you mind me asking how?

他回答'癌症'，接着说'你能谈论这件事本身就有很大帮助，因为我们总在隐藏不完美——健康问题尤其如此。但只要说出来，哪怕对方是陌生人，故事就有意义'

And he said, through cancer. And he goes, the fact that you can even talk about it is gonna do a lot for you because it's so much there's so much that we hide when we're not perfect. Yes. Even when it comes to health, there's so much. But if you can just let it out or you can let somebody else know even if you don't know them, what's the story?

我不能因为害怕死亡而不敢真正活着。

I can't live my life so afraid that I'm gonna die that I don't live at all. And

你之前也谈到完美主义和控制欲。我一直很欣赏强势女性——记得多年前初见时你正在创业，我特别佩服你的责任感。像我每周勉强健身两次，晨跑都要自我说服'这是特权而非义务'。

you talked earlier too about, you know, I guess, perfection and control and and and, you know, one of the things that that I've always known, or I should say admired or celebrated is, you know, I love a strong woman. You know, and and I remember when we first met many years ago, and you're building all in. And and I used to admire, you know, your ability to have accountability. Because I'm, like, trying to get on a treadmill, like, twice a week, and I'm, like, trying to get do my morning walk. And I have to really tell myself, like, I get to.

你常说要自律、控制晨间作息、保持身材完美。经历这些后，你的本性、个性与优先事项是否发生了改变？

I don't have to. I get to go walk. And and I know you've talked about accountability and and control and your morning routine and your schedule and discipline and perfection and your body and all of those things. So how has who you are and your nature and your personality and the things you prioritize, how have those, if they have, shifted through this?

可以说我学会了游泳等新爱好。现在几乎每天游泳——不是竞技式，就是享受水中时光。

I would say that sometimes I've picked up swimming. I've learned other things that I love to do that I can do. Yeah. I swim almost every day. Not like competitive swimming, but I love being in the water.

我能活动身体，能让心跳稍微加速，但真正重要的是找到我热爱的事物。不过我想说，积极的一面在于逐渐明白自己的热爱。但起初确实极其艰难，我曾是那种...

I can move my body. I can get my heart rate up a little bit, but just really finding things that I love. But I would say that's that's one of the positives is is figuring out what I love. But I would say at the beginning, I mean, was extremely hard. Like, I was one of those.

现在依然是。我全身心相信我们的公司，也相信要对生活中想改变的事情负责。嗯。这么多年来，或许正是这种责任感推动我走到今天。虽然现在需要负责的事情可能不同了——

And and I still am. I believe in all in and I believe in our company and it's holding yourself accountable to things in your life that you wanna change. Mhmm. And I think for so many years, I needed that accountability maybe to even get me to where I am today. Maybe it's not the same things.

或许不再需要为在跑步机上走路负责，但我需要对自己负责：坚持做这些事，证明我值得。时间安排可能不如预期，但记得刚出院时，他们让我在康复中心住了一周，帮助重新适应现实生活——他们担心现实冲击太大。

Maybe it's not I don't need to be held accountable to walk on the treadmill, but I do need to be held accountable to show up for myself, to do these things, to know that I'm I'm worth it. And maybe it's not on the time schedule that I wanted, but I remember when I first got out of the hospital, they checked me into a different facility for a week where it helps you immerse yourself back into real life because they're scared you're gonna just like, It's just gonna be too overwhelming.

嗯。

Yeah.

那是我第一次在镜子里看清自己：骨瘦如柴，肌肉全无。我简直不敢相信。更夸张的是，不到一周后——没开玩笑——我因激素治疗胖了25磅。突然我又开始愤怒：激素让我整天像打了鸡血，体重飙升，还不能锻炼。

And it was the first time I'd really seen myself in a mirror and I was so emaciated and skinny and I didn't have a muscle on me. And I was like, what is happening? Like, what is happening? And then not a week later, I'm not kidding, I had gained 25 pounds because they put me on all the steroids. So all of a sudden, now I'm mad because I'm on the steroids because I'm like, rat, like super amped up all the time.

情绪就像过山车：从‘我辛苦练的肌肉去哪了？现在病恹恹的’，到‘激素让我浮肿难受，还是不能锻炼’。

Now I'm gaining weight. Now I can't work out. So I went from two emotions like, where did all my muscles go? I've worked so hard to be fit. And now I look sickly to, okay, now I'm jacked up, uncomfortable, still can't work out.

最终我不得不告诉自己：放下对身体执念吧。这成为毕生课题——毕竟若心理垮了，一切都无从谈起。所以现在，可能某天只是散个小步...

And so I just had to finally say, you're gonna have to let this all go. You're gonna have to let this physical part go. And that has been a lifelong struggle. Because at the end of the day, if my mental isn't there, I can't do any of it. So, yeah, maybe some days it's going on a little walk.

哪怕只有十分钟。我开始相信别人的小建议，比如有人问我‘喜欢红色吗？’我说‘其实最讨厌’，她却说‘每周穿红色散步一次好吗？’

So maybe it's ten minutes. The and and I start just trusting people's opinions, you know, like, something small, like, somebody goes to me, do you like the color red? And I go, actually, no. It's my least favorite color. She goes, once a week, will you wear red on your walk?

我答应了。坚持到现在，虽不知有无效果，但每次穿上红色运动服时，那种微妙感觉...

I have a feeling. I'm like, sure. And I mean, I've been doing it. Who knows if it's doing anything? But it gives me that little feeling whenever I put on my red workout outfit.

会让我想着‘坚持十五分钟吧，记得那位女士说的红色建议吗？’嗯，生活就是这些小事。

I got this fifteen minutes. Remember when that lady told me about the red? Mhmm. You know, like, it's the little things.

你父亲是如何支持你的？

How has your dad shown up for you?

噢，他做得远超预期。我是说，真的，我不知道该怎么表达更好，但如果没有我父亲，很多事情我根本无法做到，不仅是经济方面。以前我总自豪地说，我人生中所有成就——工作、买房这些事——都是靠自己完成的。但现在不同了，面对这么多医疗治疗等等，他挺身而出，帮我请了护士，每天打电话确认我是否安好。因为最初我们都以为，做完手术就能恢复正常生活，但我根本做不到。

Oh, he has been beyond. I mean, it's really and I don't know a better way to say this, but the things that I wouldn't be capable of doing without my dad, not only for financial reasons when it comes I used to take such pride in saying, I've done all of this on my own when it came to my life, like my work, buying a home, all that stuff. You know, now it's like, no, with all of these medical treatments and everything, like he has stepped in, he's helped me have a nurse, he calls me every single day, he makes sure that I'm okay. I because I think when we first stepped into it, we thought, oh, she'll just have the surgery and she'll come out and she'll be able to manage things. I can't.

特别是像管理药物这种事，有些日子我连整理都做不到。现在每周有人来帮我分装药品，这些服务我以前根本不知道存在。想到很多人没这种条件，我深感幸运。

And I most certainly can't probably like, I mean, there's even things like my medications. There's stuff that, like, some days I I don't know that I could organize it. So now we have somebody that comes over, you know, once a week, sets me up, puts me in and, like, these are things I wouldn't have known even existed. And there are so many people that don't have that luxury. And I feel so grateful that I do.

所以听众们请注意，即使你没这种条件，或许你可以作为祖父、姐妹或兄弟思考：能为患癌的亲人做点什么？比如帮忙整理药物。这些事在我们健康时看似简单，但对病患却难如登天。

But it's so while you guys are listening and yeah, even if you don't have that luxury, you may be somebody's grandfather or sister or brother and go, what's one thing that I could do for my sister who's struggling with cancer? Help her organize her meds. These are things that seem so easy to us when we're feeling good. But when we're not, they feel impossible.

是他主动找人帮忙的吗？

Did he know to find someone to do that?

是的，是他提议让我去疗养院住一周。住院最后几天有件事让大家担心——医生反复说'明天就能出院'，但我的检测结果显示血钠值始终不达标。

He knew so he he was the one that suggested having, like, a place to go for a week. There was something that when I was in the hospital that I said that concerned everybody on one of my last days because they kept telling me I was gonna be able to leave. They were like, we think tomorrow's gonna be the day you leave. We're just gonna do the test. And they kept saying that.

具体原因记不清了，很多细节都模糊了（声明我不是医疗专业人士）。只记得当时被告知必须再住院一天，我看着父亲和朋友们说：'我一天也待不下去了，这样活着太痛苦。'

And then I got my test work back. And it was something like my salt would never get high enough. I don't really remember why. A lot of details just poof. So if I say anything wrong, I'm not a medical professional.

我觉得没有我大家会更好。那一刻所有人都震惊地说：'怎么会？没人会这样想！'

I'm just trying my best. But my salt wouldn't get high enough. And they said I had to stay another day. And I looked at my dad and all my friends, I'm like, I cannot stay in here another day. I can't live like this anymore.

我特别害怕回家后不再是原来的自己。正是那时父亲说：'我们请个护士，把一切安排好。'要知道我当时虚弱到连洗澡都需要人帮忙。

I am so miserable. I feel like everybody would be better without me. And at that moment, like, everyone just it kinda like they were like, what? Nobody would be better without you. What do you mean?

（最后一句话与前文自然衔接，保持叙事完整性）

And I was so scared to go home and not be the me that I was when I left home. It was frightening until that's when he was like, let's get you a nurse. Let's get you set up so that when you get home, you know, you gotta remember, I I was so weak. I couldn't give myself a bath. I couldn't take a shower.

我脑袋里像是开了个大洞，所有这些念头盘旋着。无论癌症处于哪个阶段或哪种类型，当你有了孩子，甚至没有孩子时，你都会忍不住想：我还能做原来的自己吗？是他帮我联系了那位护士，她来教会了我这一切。她还告诉我，情绪低落的日子也没关系。比如今天，是我免疫疗法后的第五天。

I had a ginormous holes in my head, like, all these things and it doesn't matter what level of cancer you have or what kind. When you have kids or even if you don't have kids, you are just like, how am I gonna be me? And so that he was the one that helped me get the nurse that came and and taught me all these things. And then also taught me it's okay to have an emotional day. Like today, I'm day five post immunotherapy.

我每三周接受一次治疗，今天是我情绪最脆弱的日子。我差点打电话给公关说要取消播客，因为我知道自己会崩溃。但中途我又想，还是保留吧，人们需要知道情绪崩溃很正常。哪种崩溃呢？那是一种生病前从未体会过的感觉，伴随着身体不适而来的悲伤。

I have it once every three weeks, and it's my most emotional day. And I almost called my publicist and said, cancel the podcast because I know I'm gonna get upset. And then, like, midway through it, and I go, actually, keep it because people need to know it's okay to be upset. Upset in what way? There's a sense of that I never felt before I got sick, but there's a sense of sadness that comes along with not feeling your best.

当你经历情绪起伏时就会有这种感觉。但直到现在，最让我难以承受的还是那种未知感。我知道两周后要去做下一次扫描，此刻我真心相信医生会告诉我痊愈了。如果没有，我肯定会情绪跌落谷底。

And when you have the dips, the highs and lows, there's a sense of that. But just like, that's the hardest part for me still to this day is, you know, that unknown. I know that I go in in two weeks from now and I get my next scan. And, like, I fully believe as I'm telling you right now, they're gonna tell me I'm I'm cleared. If I'm not, there'll be a comedown from that.

但这是支撑我度过接下来两周半的精神支柱。我必须相信这个结果，否则就太令人绝望了。

But it's what I need to do to get me through these next two and a half weeks. I need to believe it. Because if not, it's just too sad.

感谢你的分享。

Thank you for sharing that.

不客气。

You're welcome.

你身边有那么多工作伙伴，每周要做五六档播客，工作量很大。在亲友圈子里，你是否特意确保周围人也保持积极信念？

With everyone that you have around you at work, you're working a lot, doing five or six podcasts a week, that's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of prep. With your circle of friends, your close circle of friends, with your family, have you sort of intentionally made sure that the people you keep around you also believe?

要知道，我无法控制别人的想法。我能察觉到他们的恐惧，我的处理方式是——虽然未必正确——我会开玩笑说：振作点。

You know, I've learned that I can't control the way others think. I can see when their fear is coming out and kind of the way I handle it. And I'm not saying this is the right way to handle it, but I make a joke. I make a joke. I'll be like, get it together.

难道你想看我崩溃死掉吗？我妹妹最讨厌我这样说话。但这种方式能缓解当下的沉重气氛。

You don't want me to getting all upset and dying on you, do you? You know, like and I'm not saying that that's and my sister will get so mad at me for talking like that. Mhmm. But it it's able to bring that moment of, like, because it's tight. It's heavy.

确实。确实。

Yes. Yes.

即便这可能会让她一时落泪，她也会说，你是对的。你确实会没事的。我们都知道这一点。因为我们不久前才一起度过假期。

And even if that may bring her a moment of tears, then she'll go, you're right. You are. You're gonna be fine. And we all know it. Because we were just on a vacation ago.

这就是我想起我妹妹的原因——当我情绪低落时，你知道，一整天都像在坐情绪过山车。她当时说，你今天不太舒服吧？然后她开始有点怜悯我。我就生气了。

That's why I was thinking of my sister because when I'm not feeling good, you know, it through the day, it's riding a roller coaster is my mood. Yeah. And she was like, you're not feeling so good today, are you? And then she kinda started to do the pity thing a little bit. And I said, I got mad.

我说生气，其实也没那么多精力真生气，但就是觉得够了。生病时最讨厌感觉所有人都在围着你，等着你死。嗯。我来这儿是想和你开心度假的，咱们好好玩。

And, you know, when I say I got mad, I'm not like, I don't have that much energy to even really get mad, but I'm like, you know, enough. When you're sick, don't wanna feel like everyone's looking around at you waiting for you to die. Mhmm. I'm like, I came here because I wanted a fun vacation with you. Let's have one.

她当时抽泣着说，那咱们好好玩。她又问，所以你明天还是想乘船出游？我说当然，别老问我了。

And she was like sobbing. And she's like, let's have one. She's like, so you do still wanna go on the boat tomorrow? And I'm like, yes. Quit asking me.

我会直说的。如果我不想做或做不到，我会告诉你。相信我，我不是为你做的，是为我们大家，也是为我自己。我需要这样。

I'll tell you. I'll tell you if I don't wanna do something or if I'm not. Believe me, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for all of us and me. I need it.

我需要你。需要你成为我的支柱。我的支柱不能看着我就露出难过。我的支柱要能和我一起笑，一起犯傻，经历所有好坏。我们必须保持我们一直以来的样子。

I need you. I need you to be my person. And my person can't be looking sad when they're looking at me. My person needs to be my person that's gonna laugh with me, make stupid mistakes, Gonna you know, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We need to stay that way the way we've always been.

当你谈到'一直以来的样子'时，我在想——这个问题可能有点冒昧，但人们为我们付出的样子真的很美。你父亲有什么让你意外的表现吗？

When you when you talk about the way we've always been with I'm just thinking about this and I'm curious because it's, you know, it's so beautiful when people show up for us. Yeah. It's so beautiful when people show up for us. And I'm just thinking about your dad. Did he is there anything that surprised you about this?

他现在和抚养你时有什么不同吗？还是说完全符合你的预期——如果发生这种事，他肯定会全力支持？

Is he showing up different now than he did growing up? Or is he a person that you fully expected, oh, yeah, he's gonna show up in full colors if something like this ever happens?

完全出乎意料。他给我的建议特别中肯，不像以前父母给的建议总带着'这样对全家最有利'的考量。现在他突然变得...有些建议就是纯粹为我着想。他甚至每晚都雷打不动地给我打电话。

I didn't expect this at all. I didn't expect, you know, it it's gone to the point where like he has given me such good advice and it's not you know, I feel like with a parent before, sometimes advice is like the advice that they think is gonna be best because ultimately this is how it's gonna behoove all of you. Now all of a sudden, it's like, no. He's giving me advice that, like, I need to hear sometimes for for me. And he's also just I mean, even the fact that he calls me every single night, and it's just it's it's not relenting.

可能我有几晚没接，但他依然准时打来。最后我会接起来说：爸，现在没人爱接老爸电话了知道吗？他问为什么老不接，我说因为我不舒服。

Like, I may not call him back a couple nights, but he'll still call every night at the same time. And finally, I'll be like, hey, dad. And I'll be like, why didn't nobody loves their dads anymore? Why are you not answering the phone? I said, because I'm not feeling good.

他说，还是接个电话然后直接挂掉我什么的，但我想和你说话，哪怕就一秒。我觉得他说得对。然后我就想，为什么我连这一秒都没有？原因是有时候我不想让我爱的人看到我挣扎的样子。但他不会在意这些。

And he's like, still answer the phone and then just hang up on me or something, but I wanna talk to you, even if it's for a second. And I mean, he's right. And then I think, why don't I have that second? And the reason I don't have that second is sometimes I don't want the people I love to see me struggle. But he wouldn't care.

他根本不在乎。我前段时间还在南卡罗来纳州和他在一起，有一天他说，要是你再站起来满屋子跑着做那些小事——他是在逗我玩——他说，我就把你按在腿上打屁股。我说，爸，我只是想喝口水。然后我又想要这个。

He didn't care. He's I was just with him in South Carolina, and there was one day, and he goes, if you get up one more time to run around the house and do some little thing, he's like he's teasing me. He's like, I'm gonna give you I'm putting you over my knee and give you a spanking. And I was like, dad, I just wanted to get a water. And then I wanted this.

接着我又想要那个。他说，你跑来跑去太闹腾了，让自己静一静。当你状态不佳时就会意识到，你得提醒自己保持平和。

And then I wanted that. And he's like, you're running around too much. Just let yourself and that's something that you realize when you're not feeling like a 100%, you gotta remind yourself to be at peace.

他从小就是这样一个参与度很高的父亲吗？

Was he an involved dad like that growing up?

不是。他始终是我最好的...比如工作建议、运动建议或任何需要商量的事，只要我需要他，他永远百分百在场。但关键是'我需要他'——只要我开口，他总会出现。而现在不管我开不开口，他都在那里。

No. He was always my best like, if I had work advice or if I had, you know, athletic advice or if I had anything that I needed to talk to him about, he was always he was always a 100% there if I needed him, but I think that was the quote, if I needed him. If I asked him, he was always there. Now he's there whether I ask or I don't ask.

你觉得现在比以往任何时候都更亲近他吗？

Do you feel closer to him now than ever?

是的。而且对于兄弟姐妹、父亲和孩子们，我现在能欣赏他们各自不同的特质。比如我小弟，有次全家团聚时他特别随意地说：'我能画幅你穿着正义姐妹T恤的肖像吗？'

I do. I think there's also a part of me when it comes to my siblings, my dad, my kids. I appreciate different things in all of them now. You know? Like, my little brother, when I was home with my family, he said so casually and so nonchalant, he's like, can I paint a picture of you in Justice is my sister?

他说'就是特别想画一幅'，但说得像件小事。我就回'行啊，老弟，随时都行'。

He's like, I'd really just love to paint one. But he said it like it was no big deal. So I was like, yeah. Sure, bud. Whenever.

知道吗？我后来根本没跟进这事。结果两天后他问：'我能开始画了吗？你三天后就要走了。'我才意识到他是认真的。

You know? Then I didn't really even follow-up on it. And then two days later, he's like, can I start that picture? Because you're leaving in three days. And I'm like, oh, this is like a real thing.

他说'对呀'，然后画了幅我和姐姐的美丽肖像，够我们珍藏一辈子。光是看着就让我想哭。但他创作时带着那种温暖又轻松的劲头，没有任何压力，这将成为我永生难忘的回忆。

And he's like, yeah. And then like he painted this beautiful portrait of my sister and I that like we'll have for the rest of our lives. And like it's like makes me cry just even looking at it. But it's like he had just such a warming effortless energy. I didn't put any pressure to it and it was just like it's something I'll never forget.

甚至那些时刻，我和姐姐坐在我们的小椅子上，摆姿势拍照，笑着争谁鼻子更可爱之类的。嗯，这些瞬间我永远都不会忘记。

And even those moments of my sister and I sitting in our little, like, chairs, like, doing our pose for our photo and, like, laughing at, I want the cuter nose or, like Mhmm. Those are moments I'll never forget.

这太美好了。

That's beautiful.

是啊。

Yeah.

关于家庭、决定这些话题...我们开场时你提到过，你和爱德华结婚十三年了对吗？

With with, you know, family and decisions and all of it. You mentioned when we opened. So so you and Edward were met were married thirteen years?

我们结婚十三年。对。在一起十六年。嗯。然后大概在我被诊断出脑部和肺部癌症前几个月，我们分居了。

We were married thirteen years. Yeah. Together sixteen years. Yeah. And then probably a couple of months before I was diagnosed with the cancer in my brain and in my lungs, we had separated.

而且我们不只是分居，直接进入了离婚程序。那时候我才意识到，天啊，我从未经历过这样的巨变——我的整个人生都被颠覆了。

And it was we not even separated. We went right to filing. We filed for divorce. And, like, we were I didn't really realize how much I never, you know, gotten I I I never gone through something like that before where I was like, oh my gosh. Everything's my entire life's being turned upside down.

我完全没预料到会涉及这些话题，比如监护权之类的问题。直到今天，我都不曾恨过埃德温。

I didn't even know this was gonna come into play, a conversation or anything like that. Or what do you mean, like, we're gonna talk about custody or what do you like, all of those things you don't necessarily think about, especially, like, there was never a part of me still to this day. Like, I don't hate Edwin.

我们需要短暂休息一下。趁此机会，请把这期节目分享给每个可能受到鼓舞的人。因为这场对话或许正是他们今天需要听到的——让他们继续前行，记住自己很重要，感觉不再孤独、更加完整、更有联结感与价值感。你周围人的能量会传染，自我信念也是。如果你想获得更多激励，我特别为你准备了免费周刊《与杰米的一对一》，每周二早晨直送你的邮箱。

We need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do, take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected and more worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me.

若想每周准时收到，请前往jamiekernlima.com订阅。厌倦了每日负面新闻？需要灵感、技巧、快乐与爱充满你的收件箱？我就是你要找的人。在jamiekernlimah.com或节目备注链接里订阅。

If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your One on One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlimah.com or in the link in the show notes. Do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting.

你是否受困于消极的自我对话？活在'我不够好'的内心独白中令人精疲力尽。我深有体会，因为我大半生都如此。你对自己说的话拥有巨大力量，学会掌控自我对话能改变人生。为此我准备了免费资源《克服消极自我对话与建立自爱的五种方法》，若对你有益请收下这份礼物。

I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called five ways to overcome negative self talk and build self love.

这是一份免费的指南，教你如何克服消极的自我对话，建立自信并培养不可动摇的自我关爱，让你敢于追逐梦想，在追求目标的道路上坚持不懈。别再让自我否定的想法阻碍你的进步。是时候重写你的人生剧本，一个充满自爱、韧性和坚定信念的故事。如果你已准备好掌握自己的人生叙事，建立不可动摇的自信，并赋予自己在追梦路上坚持的力量，你可以前往jamiekernlima.com/resources免费获取这份停止过度思考、学会信任自己的指南，或点击节目说明中的链接。现在，让我们继续这段精彩的对话。

And it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com/resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together.

直到今天，我内心从未有过憎恨埃德温的念头。埃德温永远是我的朋友。所以我大概知道——我想这一点从他是我打电话叫去医院接我的人就能看出来。我一直知道他不会辜负我。我想反过来也一样——我是说，如果他愿意，他现在完全可以继续推进并完成离婚手续。

There was never a part of me still to this day like, I don't hate Edwin. Like Edwin will always be my friend. And so I kind of knew, I mean, think it shows by he was the person that I called to take me to the hospital. I always knew he'd do the right thing by me. And I think that same goes for I mean, he could still if he wanted to, he could still be filing and finishing this divorce off right now.

但就像我父亲和家人说的，我觉得现在让她去处理或解决这些事并不合适。他甚至没有犹豫一秒，直接说：'当然，不着急。我们可以等。'

But, like, my dad and family just said, like, I don't think this is the right thing for her to be able try to navigate right now or figure out. And it wasn't even a second. It was like, yeah, of course. No. We'll wait.

我们会等到她身体好转，再一起解决这个问题。

We'll wait till she's better, and then we'll figure it out.

当时你们已经结婚十三年了。你已知是二期癌症。是的。然后你们决定提交离婚申请。但当你确诊四期时，你们选择了暂停。

And you were married thirteen years at that point. You had stage two that that you knew about. Yeah. And then you guys decided to file. And then when you got the news of stage four, then you paused.

是的。当我处于二期时，我接受了大型手术切除了肿瘤。之后因为病灶在背部，我已经做了两次皮肤复查。我以为自己已经痊愈了，但身体始终不适。当时我们的婚姻也出现了一些问题——我真希望二期确诊时能更坦诚地和埃德温沟通我的需求。

Yeah. So when I had stage two, but then I had gotten this massive surgery and they had removed it. And I had already had two checkups on my skin because those were the stage two was on my back. I thought I was cancer free, but I just kept not feeling well. And we were having, you know, some issues in our marriage that I wish when I did have stage two, I would have talked to Edwin about it more and what I needed.

因为男性总想成为保护者、供养者，承担各种责任。而我当时只是希望有人能躺在床上陪我看场电影。你明白吗？我需要的是一起崩溃片刻的陪伴，而不是被拯救。

Because I think men so often wanna be the protector and the provider and the this and the that. Were like, I just wanted somebody to come lay in bed with me and watch a movie. You know, like I wanted just someone to collapse with me for a little bit, not fix me.

嗯。嗯。

Mhmm. Mhmm.

今天我甚至翻看了他发来的旧短信——因为我说'能帮我回忆下具体日期吗？'之类的话。看着当时我们互发的信息内容和语气，现在的我们绝不会那样交流了。

And I was even looking at our text messages that he sent over today because I was like, can you remind me of the dates and blah blah blah? And I just looked at the way he responded to the texts and the way I responded to the texts and like, we wouldn't text each other like that now.

真的吗？具体指什么？

Really? And what do you mean?

就像，我当时反应是'哦对了，我刚和凯尔从医院回来，他们怀疑我得了黑色素瘤'，而他轻描淡写地反问'癌症？'。你知道吗，那种态度随意得就像在讨论待会超市要买什么。我多希望...如果你身处婚姻中，试图判断能否维系下去时，双方都应该尽可能给予对方关怀。竭尽所能地给予关怀。

Like it's like, I'm like oh yeah, I just got back from the doctor with Kyle's, they think I have melanoma and he's like like cancer? You know, like it's just so flippant. It's like we're asking what we're ordering from the supermarket later. And I wish, you know, if you're if you're in a marriage and you're you're trying to figure out if if you can make it work is give each other as much care as you can. Give each other as much care as you can.

我认为埃德温和我为婚姻付出过很多努力。我们参加过婚姻疗愈营，每周都去教堂。有些方面我们确实在改进。但归根结底要看双方是否百分百投入——我并不是在指责他或我自己。

I think that Edwin and I did a lot of work in our marriage. We had gone to marital retreats. We had gone to church every week. There were parts that we were working on. And I think it ultimately depends on if you're a 100% and I'm not blaming him or me.

我只是说普遍现象：当你百分百坦诚面对真实困扰时。还有当你直接提出需求时——'我现在需要你，需要这份温柔'——要得到回应。因为人们通常只会开口要求几次。

I'm just saying in general, if you're a 100% authentic to what is really getting at you. And also when you ask for something, when you're direct with somebody, I need I need you. I need this softness right now. Getting it. Because people are only gonna ask for things a couple times.

之后他们终究会心灰意冷。可以说这就是我的结局。我渴望的某些东西，或许他不知如何给予。渐渐地，我不再费尽心思确保对方快乐，变成了'你随意吧，反正我已恳求过'的状态。

And then they're gonna at some point, they're gonna shut off. And I would say that's ultimately what happened with me. I just wanted certain things that I don't know if he didn't know how to give. And, you know, then I it all turned into I was no longer in a place where I would go above and beyond to make sure that this person was happy. I had kind of gone into do whatever makes you happy because I'm I've asked.

我祈求了这么多年，现在终于结束了。

I've asked for enough years, and now I'm done.

你当时具体需要什么？

What were you asking for that you needed?

我需要的是在场（presence）而非礼物（gifts）。嗯。他非常擅长多任务处理，商业头脑一流，但我需要些许关注。比如周末我想规划整天活动：'要不要邀请朋友来泳池派对，然后打匹克球？'

Just I needed presents, not gifts, like his presence. Mhmm. And he's very good at multitasking and he's, you know, so good at business, but I needed a little bit. Like, I was one of those people that, yeah, it'd be a Saturday and I'd wanna plan out the day. Like, I'd be like, do you wanna have people over and we can swim in the pool and then we can do pickleball?

那时他很抗拒这种安排。如今我却看到他做着同样的事——毕竟有了孩子后，确实需要大致规划才能让全家度过充实愉快的一天。但他当时总是慢半拍。而且我们之间多年积怨也未能彻底化解。

It and he back then, he didn't like it. Now I see him doing the same thing. Organ because, like, once you've got the kids, you do wanna have a slight general idea of, what organizing you're gonna do so that you guys can all have a fun productive day. But he kinda just was just slow to the punch. And I, you know, I think we also had years and years of past stuff that we didn't fully work through.

他期望我能自然消化这些情绪，而我的本能反应却是对抗。一旦抽离了关爱，婚姻就真的难以为继。直到现在我都觉得...

And I think he wanted me to just naturally work through it. And I think my natural response was just to push back. And I think once you do that, once you take the care out, it's really hard to make it. It's really hard to make it. And I'm lucky to this day.

说来讽刺，我们还同住一个屋檐下。平时他会去另一处房子，但这周我病得厉害，他就住在了楼下卧室。

Like, I mean, we're staying in the house together. Like, some weeks, he'll stay at our other house, but like this week, I told him I'm really sick. And he's like staying downstairs in the bedroom at our house right now.

我们可以住在同一屋檐下。

We Like can live in the same house.

我们可以住在同一屋檐下。我们不争吵。我对他约会没意见。你知道，就像，他表现得很...是的，我可以接受。

We can live in the same house. We don't argue. We I would be fine with him dating. You know, like, I he's being he he's yeah. I would be.

他对你约会也没意见吗？

Is he fine with you dating?

我不知道。嗯。我们讨论过。我觉得...我...我觉得我生活中每个人都在为我担心。有段时间我和一个被媒体大肆报道的人约会，所有人都在议论。

I don't know. Mhmm. We've talked about it. I think there's different I I I think everyone in my life is worried about me in general. So for a little while, I was dating somebody that went all over the press, and everybody's talking about it.

是啊。而且我想说，首先这事过去很久了，等你们知道是谁时，我们早分手了。所以别太相信媒体报道。嗯。但我也和心理咨询师聊过这事。

Yeah. And I'm like, one, this is long enough ago that by the time you found out who the person was, I wasn't dating the person. So you can only believe so much that you read. Mhmm. But also, I talked to my therapist about it.

她说如果我想约会或有人约我出去，我就该去。她说现在任何你内心想做的事都应该去做。甚至如果是他约你而你愿意，也没人规定不行。但目前我没这个打算，我只希望他快乐，孩子们快乐，我们能维持良好友谊和关系。

I'm like, if I feel the urge if I get asked on a date or if somebody wants to take me out, she's like, you should go. She's like, anything that you want to do right now and you feel in your heart that you wanna do, do it. She's like, it could even be it could be a date with if he asked you on a date and you wanted to go, nobody's setting any rules for you. But like right now, I'm not in that play I'm not wanting that from him. I just want him to be happy and I want our kids to be happy and I want us to be able to have a good friendship and relationship.

我不想做任何伤害他的事。但我觉得...我大概了解我们的婚姻运作方式。

And I don't wanna do anything to hurt him. But I don't know that I need to, like I kinda I kinda know how our marriage works.

你觉得这可能会改变吗？与Teddy Mellencamp的对话如此深刻，我们将分成多期播出。接下来：当遭遇连串挫折时，如何保持积极乐观？如何在感觉天塌地陷时坚守信念？

And do you think it could change? This conversation with Teddy Mellencamp is so impactful. We made it into more than one part. Coming up, how do you stay positive and hopeful when you're in the season of setback and what feels like one bad break after another? How do you hold on to faith and belief that things will turn out in your favor in the midst of what feels like the rug is being pulled out from underneath you or you're feeling blindsided or you just keep receiving horrible news?

Teddy将分享更多从未公开的深刻见解，尽在下期《Jamie Kern Lima秀》精彩第二部分。请记住这期节目不仅为你我而做，分享给你认识的每个人——它可能成为改变他们人生的契机。如果喜欢本期，请点击订阅，若对你有益，请评分评论，不胜感激。

Teddy is sharing so many more powerful and beautiful insights that she's never shared before, and that's coming up in this incredible part two conversation in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know because it can be the impact and change that they need in their life too. And if you love today's episode, click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review, I'd be so grateful.

再次提醒，分享给所有你关心的人。分享给正经历困境却仍坚守信念的人。通过分享这期充满智慧与力量的节目，你永远不知道今天会改变谁的命运。

And again, share it with everyone that you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe someone you know is going through a struggle or a hard time too, and they're just trying to keep the faith. Please share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you are meant to change today by sharing this episode.

非常感谢你今天加入我。在你离开之前，我想分享一些无比真实的话语给你。此刻的你，以真实的模样存在，已经足够且完全值得。你值得拥有最宏大的希望、最狂野的梦想，以及世界上无条件的爱。能欢迎你收听《杰米·克恩·利马秀》的每一期节目，是我的荣幸。

And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I wanna share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show.

在这里，我希望你能以真实的自己到来。在需要治愈的地方获得疗愈。绽放你选择绽放的部分。朝着你的使命前行，想停留多久就停留多久，因为你属于这里。你值得这一切。

Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need. Blossom what you choose. Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy.

你被爱着。你就是爱。而我爱你。我迫不及待想在下期《杰米·克恩·利马秀》与你重逢。在生活中，你并不会飞跃到希望与梦想的高度，而是会困在自我价值的层级上。

You are loved. You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self worth.

当你建立起自我价值，你就改变了整个人生。这正是我撰写新书《值得》的原因——如何相信自己足够好，并为你改变人生。如果你需要击碎自我怀疑、实现命运，《值得》就是为你而写。书中你将学到带来人生转变的有效工具与简单步骤：如何摆脱束缚你的枷锁，建立不可动摇的自我之爱，摒弃导致自我怀疑的谎言，拥抱唤醒价值感的真理。

When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy. How to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, Unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness.

克服限制性信念和冒名顶替综合征。通过相信自己值得拥有，去实现希望与梦想，乃至更多。准备好释放你的伟大，成为命中注定的那个人了吗？想象一个毫无自我怀疑、拥有不可动摇自我价值的人生。现在前往worthybook.com或节目说明中的链接获取《值得》，还能获得超值感恩赠礼。

Overcome limiting beliefs and impostor syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below.

想象如果你完全相信自己会做什么。是时候通过《值得》找到答案了。你周围人的能量至关重要，因为能量会传染，自我信念也是如此。我渴望与你更多相处，尤其当你需要额外灵感时——这正是我创建免费每周通讯的原因，它也是直抵你邮箱的情书。若尚未订阅，请前往jamiekernlima.com确保你在名单上，每周接收《与杰米一对一》通讯，准备好相信自己吧。

Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your One on One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

如果你厌倦了每天听到坏消息，需要些灵感、技巧、工具、快乐和爱意注入邮箱，我就是你要找的人。前往jamiekernlimah.com或节目说明中的链接订阅。请注意，我不是持证治疗师，本播客不能替代医生、专业教练、心理治疗师或其他合格专业人士的建议。

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlimah.com or in the link in the show notes. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.