3个问题帮你弄清内心真正所求

你知道她后来做了什么吗？

You know what she did?

她开始兼职做自由职业，帮助小企业，就是那些夫妻店、本地商家管理社交媒体。

Well, she just started freelancing part time, helping small businesses, you know, mom and pop shops, local businesses with her social media.

现在她已经经营起了自己的咨询公司。

And now she's running her own consulting business.

我团队里有人认识一位遭遇职业生涯终结性损伤的舞者。

Someone on my team knows a dancer who had a career ending injury.

这打击绝对是毁灭性的。

Absolutely devastating.

你能想象吗？

Can you imagine?

你找到了人生真正的意义。

You found your actual life's purpose.

你是一名舞者。

You are a dancer.

你是公司的一员。

You're part of a company.

这是你的梦想。

This is your dream.

运动员也会遇到这种情况。

This happens to athletes too.

天啊。

Oh my god.

你入选了队伍。

You made the team.

哇塞。

Holy cow.

然后突然间，你遭遇了终结职业生涯的伤病。

And then all of a sudden, you have a career ending injury.

太令人崩溃了。

Devastating.

但她后来做了什么？

But what did she do?

她转型去社区中心教孩子们舞蹈课了。

Well, she pivoted into teaching dance classes for kids at community centers.

她依然保持着对舞蹈的热爱，只是换了一种方式。

She's still connected to her passion just in a new way.

这告诉我们，备选方案其实一直都在，但我们总是等到首选方案彻底失败后才考虑它。

And it goes to show you that plan b is already there, but we're waiting for plan a to blow up before you even entertain it.

还有一点我也非常欣赏这个例子。

And here's the other thing that I also love about this.

我欣赏的是，我们常常会固守现状，以至于对眼前的其他选择视而不见。

What I love about this is we can get so stuck where we are that we are blind to all the other options that are right there in front of you.

但这并不意味着你必须辞职。

Now it doesn't mean you have to quit your job.

我不希望你们把这件事理解成非此即彼的选择。

I don't want you to listen to this as an either or.

我希望你们能从中拓展思维，创造更多可能性。

I want you to listen to this as a way to expand your thinking and create ands.

那么我会怎么做呢？

So what would I do?

你们知道我会怎么做吗？

You know what I would do?

首先，如果我要支付账单，我可以教别人如何创办播客。

Well, first of all, if I had to pay my bills, I could teach other people how to start podcasts.

这确实是我在急需支付账单时能做的事。

That's one thing that I could do if I really had to pay my bills.

另一个选择是为其他播客主持人工作。

Another thing that I could do is I could go work for somebody else that is hosting a podcast.

还有件事我一直想做，就是经营一个花卉农场。

Another thing that I could do is, you know, I've always wanted to have a flower farm.

这是真的。

It's true.

我可以...在我住的地方附近有个人经营着一个花卉农场，他们正真的在想办法扩大规模。

I could I could there's a person near where I live that that has a flower farm that's that's really trying to figure out how to expand.

我可以考虑成为那个项目的合伙人。

I could look into being a partner in that.

但另一件我认为如果这个项目解散后我会做的事——这可能会成为那些未完成的心愿之一。

But another thing that I think that I would do if this dissolved, this is gonna be one of those, unfinished business things.

我就是有种想写一部奇幻三部曲的冲动。

I just have this desire to write a fantasy trilogy.

你有没有注意到，我说这些时有点不好意思地笑着？

Now do do you see how, like, I'm kinda smiling, like, it's kind of cringey to even tell you that?

但我一直...我是那种特别喜欢《荆棘与玫瑰的法庭》戏剧性有声书的人。

But I've always like, I'm one of these people that I love a Court of Thorn and Roses dramatic audio.

我超爱《第四翼》系列。

I loved the Fourth Wing series.

我也爱《哈利波特》。

I loved Harry Potter.

我热爱《权力的游戏》。

I love Game of Thrones.

我热爱《霍比特人》系列。

I love, The Hobbit series.

我热爱这些构建世界观的作品。

I love these world building things.

我热爱《阿凡达》，觉得尝试创作这类作品会非常酷。

I love Avatar, and I just think it'd be really cool to try to do that.

这个巧妙的小问题最有趣的地方在于：

And here's what's fascinating about this tricky little question.

如果你当前的道路明天突然消失，你会做什么？

If the past that you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?

你会做什么？

What would you do?

此刻世界上谁在激励着你？

Who in the world is inspiring you right now?

你还有什么未完成的事情？

What unfinished business do you have?

我要告诉你一些事情，因为我觉得你现在需要听一听。

And I'm gonna tell you something because I think you need to hear this right now.

你不必这么做。

You don't have to do this.

你不必用它来支付账单。

You don't have to pay your bills with it.

这个问题不是为了让你辞职或转专业。

This question isn't meant to get you to quit your job or to change your major.

这个问题旨在打破你非黑即白的思维方式。

This question is meant to break apart your very black and white thinking.

这个问题是为了拓宽你的视野，帮你抬起头来，认识到你生活中除了目前的工作或学业之外，还有更多可能性。

This question is meant to widen your gaze and help you lift up your head and recognize there's a lot more to your life than you think you do for work or school right now.

你的生活远不止照顾孩子和父母这么简单。

There's a lot more to your life than just taking care of your kids and your parents.

如果你现在走的这条路明天就消失了，你会做什么？

And if the path that you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?

这个问题是在邀请你内心深处重新开始梦想，对吧？

That is a question that is inviting the deeper parts of you to dream again, right?

去梦想。

To dream.

而且，你知道，人们很容易紧抓已知的事物不放，认为事情永远会这样发展，即便现状并不理想，因为这似乎比想象其他可能性更安全。

And, you know, it's so easy to cling to what you know and to think it's always gonna be that way, even when it doesn't feel that great because it seems safer than imagining other things that you could be doing.

但这就是这个问题对你的要求。

But that's what this question asks of you.

如果你现在走的这条路明天就消失了，你会做什么？

If the path that you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?

正如斯坦福大学的比尔·博内特和戴夫·埃文斯教授所说——我很喜欢这句话——当你真正迫使自己的想象力相信你必须另谋生路或必须用其他事情来填补时间时，你会想出办法的。

And as professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans at Stanford put it, I love this quote, when you really force your imagination to believe that you have to make a living or you have to fill your time doing something other than what you're already doing, you will come up with something.

你会的。

You will.

关于这个问题，我还喜欢另一点。

And here's the other thing I like about this question.

它还能让你审视自己紧紧抓住的东西，即使内心深处你并不喜欢它，因为你可能告诉自己别无选择。

It also gets you to look at the thing you've been gripping tightly to, even if deep down you don't like it, Because you're probably telling yourself you have no other options.

你得付房贷。

You gotta pay your mortgage.

你得付公寓租金。

You gotta pay your apartment rent.

你有这个。

You got this.

你有那个。

You got that.

你还有别的。

You got the other thing.

但真正有趣的是，当事情消失时，它让你别无选择。

But what's really interesting about when things disappear, it leaves you no choice.

作为你的朋友，我会一直提醒你，你有能力解决问题。

And as your friend, I'm gonna always remind you, you're capable of figuring things out.

很多人直到被迫面对时才会意识到这一点。

A lot of us don't realize that until we're forced to.

我们被迫解决问题是因为被裁员了。

We're forced to figure it out because we got laid off.

我们被迫解决问题是因为没得到梦想的工作。

We're forced to figure it out because we didn't get the dream job.

我们被迫解决问题是因为，你知道的，主修传播学，却要在近年来最糟糕的就业市场中毕业。

We're forced to figure it out because we, you know, majored in communications, and now you're graduating into the world's worst job market in recent history.

我就直说了。

I'm just gonna say it.

这是事实。

It's true.

这是事实。

It's true.

现在你开始感到气馁了。

And now you're starting to get discouraged.

因为你没能得到那份工作，你原本的道路确实消失了。

So the path that you are on did disappear because you're not landing the job.

那么，好吧，你现在打算怎么办？

So, okay, what are you gonna do now?

这就是为什么这个问题很重要——因为它能让你在被解雇前、友谊消逝前、生活基础被抽空前，真正开始想象、头脑风暴并探索其他选择。

That's why this question matters because it it really gets you to start to imagine and brainstorm and tap into other options before you get fired, before the friendship fades, before the rug gets pulled out from under you.

那么为什么不现在就进行这个演练呢？

And so why not run that drill right now?

这正是问题在向你提出的要求。

That's what the question is begging of you.

这就是奥德赛计划的真谛。

This is what the odyssey plan is.

因为如果你仔细想想人生中的重大转折点，我说过要真正尝试写一部奇幻小说，这难道不是很讽刺吗？

Because if you think about any major twist and turn isn't it funny that I said I'd I'd really try to figure out how to write a fantasy novel?

因为奥德赛计划正是关于如何应对人生中的曲折与转折。

Because the odyssey plan is about navigating the twists and turns in life.

任何伟大的奥德赛之旅——想想希腊神话中的奥德赛故事。

And and any great odyssey, just think about the the Greek myth of the odyssey.

其中充满无数曲折转折，英雄往往始料未及，但你就是自己人生的主角。

There are so many twists and turns, and oftentimes the hero doesn't see it coming, but you're the hero of your own life.

所以问问自己：如果你不再以当前职业谋生，不再用现在的方式填充时间——或许你现在正忙于照顾年迈父母，或许正全心照料家中幼童。

So ask yourself, if you didn't do what you currently do for a living, if you didn't fill your time doing what you currently do, maybe you're filling your time caring for aging parents, maybe you're filling your time taking care of your littles at home.

这些都是生命的珍贵馈赠，但请允许自己想象：

That's a wonderful thing to do with your life, but give yourself permission.

如果这些责任突然消失——孩子们都上学了，父母也有人照料——你还想用时间做些什么？

If this disappeared, the kids are off at school, your parents are taken care of, what else would you wanna do with your time?

若不以现有职业谋生，你能否尝试自由职业？

If you didn't do what you currently do for a living, could you freelance?

你能否创立自己的事业？

Could you make a business?

你能抽出时间学习一项新技能吗？

Could you take the time to learn a new skill?

或许你可以学习如何在人工智能或科技领域构建产品，又或者尝试一些创意类的事情。

Maybe you could learn how to build something in AI or tech, or maybe it's something creative.

你能学会如何在网上赚钱吗？

Could you learn how to make money online?

你能彻底转行去做完全不同的事情吗？

Could you pivot into something completely different?

比如，你终于可以去参加急救员或志愿消防员的培训，或者进入一个新领域工作吗？

Like, could you finally do that training to be an EMT or a volunteer firefighter or working in a new field?

你能去读个硕士学位吗？

Could you get a master's?

我丈夫现在正在攻读灵性心理学硕士学位，一次只修一门课。

My husband right now is getting a master's in spiritual psychology by taking one class at a time.

这将花费他四年时间。

It's gonna take him four years.

他快完成了。

He's almost done with it.

为什么？

Why?

嗯，因为他开始想象。

Well, because he started to imagine.

如果一切消失，你知道，我可能想用我的生命做什么？

If things disappeared, you know, what is it that I might wanna do with my life?

他选择了灵性心理学。

And he's like, spiritual psychology.

我想如果我不再带领男性静修会，我会喜欢做这个。

I think I'd like to do that if I, you know, stopped leading men's retreats.

那会是一件非常酷的事情。

That'd be a really cool thing to do.

你想在周末去酒吧当保安赚点外快吗？

Would you wanna pick up extra cash being a bouncer at a bar on the weekends?

因为你年轻时当过调酒师，而且有点怀念餐厅工作的那种集体感。

Because you used to bartend when you were younger, and you kinda miss the community that works in a restaurant.

听着。

Look.

我以前在餐厅工作过。

I used to work in restaurants.

我曾经当过调酒师。

I used to be a bartender.

那就像第二个家一样。

It's like a second family.

你会去读法学院吗？

Would you go to law school?

你会去参加海军吗？

Would you go join the Navy?

我是说，这就是这个问题的意义所在。

I mean, that's the point of this question.

这个问题是为了让你明白，你还有未完成的心愿。

It's getting you to understand that there's unfinished business for you.

你其实有很多选择。

There are options.

有些事你一直想去探索，但大多数人直到生活崩溃或工作结束才允许自己这么做。

There are things that you'd like to explore, and most of us don't give ourselves permission to do that until life blows up or the job ends.

所以这个问题——感谢斯坦福的教授们——能让你看到，你拥有的选择总是比你想象的更多。

And so this question, thank you professors at Stanford, helps you see that you've always had more options than you think.

你只是把所有时间都花在自我纠结上。

You're just spending all your time arguing with yourself.

‘我不能辞职，因为要付房租’。

Well, I can't quit my job because I gotta pay my rent.

‘我不能做这个，因为还要做那个’。

I can't do this because I gotta do the other thing.

‘我根本没法改变，因为孩子和其他责任都指望着我’。

I can't possibly make a change because my kids and stuff are dependent.

那么，如果那不是真的呢？

Well, what if that's not true?

如果有一个你尚未发现的人生版本正等待着你呢？

What if there's a version of your life that is waiting for you to see it?

我只是邀请你去想象这些可能性。

I'm just inviting you to imagine the possibilities.

自己这样做很难，因为如果我问你这个问题：嘿，作为我的朋友，你能给我建议吗？

And it's hard to do for yourself because if you were to if I were to ask you the question, hey, as my friend, could you give me advice?

如果播客突然爆火，你能想出梅尔·罗宾斯可以转型做的五件事吗？

If if the podcast were to just blow up, could you think of five things that Mel Robbins could do in terms of a pivot?

你肯定会说：当然。

You'd be like, yeah.

砰。

Boom.

砰。

Boom.

砰。

Boom.

砰。

Boom.

如果你的某个成年子女回到家，他们因为讨厌职业道路而心烦意乱——他们在学校为此专业学习多年，现在却意识到：天啊，我真的讨厌从事科技行业的工作。

If one of your adult kids comes home and they're, like, all upset because they hate the job path and they studied for this in school and now they realize, oh my gosh, I really hate working in tech.

我打赌你能给他们列出五件可以尝试的事，因为你总能看清别人的选择可能，但我们自己却像戴着眼罩，看不清自己的出路。

I bet you could give them five things that they could do because you can see the options for other people, but we have blinders on and can't see them for ourselves.

这就是问题的关键。

And that's the question.

这就是核心要义——你其实拥有选择权。

That's what it's getting at, that you have options.

通过现在将这些可能性纳入你的意识，你可以做出微小的调整，逐步转向。

And by pulling some of these into your consciousness now, you can make small pivots, small pivots.

尽管思考这些可能令人不安，但这就是为什么它如此重要。

And here's why this matters, even though it can be confronting to think about this.

一旦你开始考虑如果当前计划突然消失，你能做些什么时，有趣的事情就会发生。

Once you entertain what you could do, if the current plan just disappeared, something interesting happens.

恐惧开始失去它的控制力。

Fear starts to lose its grip.

你不再对自己说‘天哪’。

You stop telling yourself, oh my gosh.

‘如果我丢了这份工作，我就彻底完蛋了’。

If I lose this job, I'm completely screwed.

‘如果AI接管一切，我的人生就结束了’。

If AI takes over, my life is over.

相反，你会想，总有备选方案，因为我愿意看到备选方案。

And instead, you go, well, there's always a plan b because I'm willing to see a plan b.

即使我失业了，即使我现在所做的一切都消失了，我依然相信自己有能力找到出路。

That if I lost my job, if all the things that I currently do disappeared, I actually believe in my capability of figuring it out.

我相信我会找到其他选择的。

I believe that I'll figure out options.

我坚信，当一扇门关闭时，另一扇门就会打开。

I do believe that if a door closes, another one opens, Period.

我太喜欢这句话了。

I love that.

这让我想到了三个问题中我最喜欢的一个。

And that brings me to my favorite question of all three.

我超爱这个问题，你们肯定也会喜欢的。

I love this question, and you're gonna love this too.

广告之后我们就来讨论这个问题。

And we're gonna get to it after this break.

好的。

Alrighty.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你们的老朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your buddy, Mel Robbins.

今天，我们将一起探讨一个名为'奥德赛计划'的内容，这是一系列你需要自问的问题。

Today, you and I are going through something called the odyssey plan, which is a series of questions that you ask yourself.

这是由斯坦福大学的两位杰出教授设计的。

This was designed by two extraordinary professors at Stanford.

这是他们最受欢迎的课程之一。

It's taught in one of their most popular courses.

我们已经完成了前两个问题。

We've already gone through the first two questions.

如果你继续当前的道路，你的生活会是什么样子？

How will your life look if you stay on the current path?

如果你的道路明天突然消失，你会怎么做？

If your path disappears tomorrow, what would you do?

我为你感到骄傲，因为你不仅来到这里，还认真思考这些问题，接纳新思维，发现新可能，感受思维方式的转变。

And I am so proud of you for being here, for really grappling with these questions, for allowing new thinking to enter, for seeing new possibilities, for feeling the shift in your mindset.

感谢你与你关心的人分享这一切。

Thank you for sharing this with people that you care about.

我迫不及待想听你和朋友家人再次探讨这些问题时的收获。

I can't wait to hear what happens when you do these questions again with your friends and with your family.

现在我们来谈谈第三个问题，也是我最喜欢的一个。

Now let's talk about the third question, my favorite one of all.

准备好了吗？

You ready?

我超爱这个问题。

I love this one.

如果没有任何束缚，你的人生会是什么模样？

How would life look if there was nothing holding you back?

这是个需要放手一搏的问题。

Now this is a swing for the fences kind of question.

这很符合梅尔·罗宾斯的风格，因为充满了无限可能。

This is a Mel Robbins kind of question because this one's full of possibility.

这就像给你一张无拘无束的通行证，让你为自己构想更宏大的可能性。

This is like unbridled permission for you to dream, for you to see a bigger possibility for yourself.

好吗？

Okay?

就一小会儿，让我们认真思考这个问题。

Just for a second, let's entertain this question.

如果没有束缚，你的生活将会是什么样子，会有什么感受？

How would your life look and feel if there's nothing holding you back?

我是说金钱不是问题。

I'm saying money is not an issue.

你不在乎别人的期望。

You don't care about other people's expectations.

不在乎。

Nope.

随他们去吧。

Let them.

对吧？

Right?

我们不在乎那些。

We don't care about that.

你可以去任何地方。

You could go anywhere.

你可以做任何事情。

You could do anything.

这第三个问题关乎你人生中的完全自由。

This third question is full freedom in your life.

暂时忘掉孩子们。

Forget about the kids.

暂时忘掉狗狗们。

Forget about the dogs.

暂时忘掉你照顾的所有人。

Forget about everybody that you take care of.

就这一瞬间，忘掉那些账单。

Forget about the bills just for this second.

让我们暂且考虑这种可能性。

Let's just entertain the possibility.

因为你上一次真正让自己做白日梦是什么时候？

Because when was the last time you let yourself daydream for real?

我是认真的。

I mean it.

你上一次不顾一切、允许自己想象一种可能性、一个未来、一种不被当前所有束缚所累的生活是什么时候？

When was the last time you just threw caution to the wind and you allowed yourself to imagine a possibility, a future, a life where you were not encumbered by everything that's holding you back right now.

真正让你的思绪自由驰骋。

Really just let your mind wander.

如果没有任何束缚，我的生活会是怎样的景象和感受？

How would my life look and feel if nothing was holding me back?

你脑海中不会有个声音说'哦，这太荒谬了'。

There's no voice in your head going, oh, that's ridiculous.

你这个年纪不可能当旅行博主。

You can't be a travel blogger at your age.

哦，你绝对做不到的。

Oh, you could never pull that off.

你凭什么觉得自己能开发应用程序？

What makes you think you could build an app?

你年纪太大不适合重返校园了。

You're too old to go back to school.

你又不是学医的。

You didn't major in medicine.

现在你想转行当整体健康教练？

Now you wanna go back and be a holistic health coach?

你脑子进水了吗？

What's wrong with you?

如果你和我、和大多数人一样，上次你允许自己敞开心扉拥抱可能性的时候

Well, if you're like me and like most people, the last time you allowed yourself to just open up the doors of possibility, crack open your heart.

大概还是孩童时期吧。

Last time was when you were a kid.

因为在那个时候，你可以早上想象成为宇航员，下午就变成摇滚明星，因为没人告诉你那是不可能的。

Because back then, you could imagine becoming an astronaut in the morning, ho, and a rock star by the afternoon, because nobody told you it was impossible.

我是说，做白日梦的感觉真好。

I mean, daydreaming was so good.

这不是在浪费时间。

It's not a waste of time.

这是你发现自己真正想要的方式。

It's how you uncover what you want.

这是你挖掘所有未完成之事的方式——那些被账单、责任、他人期望与意见、你现有生活的束缚以及你感受到的重压所掩盖的事情。

It's how you excavate all that unfinished business that's underneath the noise of the bills, the responsibility, other people's expectations and opinions, the trappings of the life that you have right now, the weight that you feel.

这就是为什么这个问题很重要，因为它很有趣。

That's why this question matters because it's fun.

思考这个问题很有意思，不是吗？

It's fun to think about this, isn't it?

我是说，你至今做的大部分选择，很可能就像我人生中许多选择一样。

I mean, most of the choices that you've made so far, it's probably just like the choices I've made for a lot in my life.

这不是关于你真正想要什么。

It's not about what you really want.

这是关于生存。

It's about survival.

这是关于支付账单。

It's about paying the bills.

这是关于地位、维持体面、让父母骄傲、确保你做邻居们都在做的事、让孩子参加合适的旅行联赛、选对专业、开对车，所有这些让你喘不过气来的事情。

It's about status and keeping up appearances and making your parents proud and making sure that you're doing what all the neighbors are doing and that your kids are in the right travel league and that you're doing the right major and that you're driving the right car, all that stuff that just weighs you down.

但这个问题，哦，这完全是另一回事。

But this question, oh, this is about something else entirely.

这个问题打开了大门，它问：如果你拥有足够多，如果没人关注，如果你不欠任何人任何东西，你会如何度过你的人生？

This question blows the door open and asks, if you had enough, if nobody was watching, if you didn't know anybody anything, what would you do with your life?

今天你会选择把时间聚焦在什么事情上？

What would you choose to focus your time on today?

研究表明，当你基于内在价值观生活时最幸福——当你与成长、联结和贡献保持一致，而不是追逐金钱、寻求认可、试图与所有人攀比时。

Research shows that you are the happiest when you live from intrinsic values, when you're aligned with growth and connection and contribution rather than chasing money, chasing approval, trying to keep up with everybody else.

我是说，生活中所有这些‘应该’让人精疲力尽。

I mean, it's exhausting, all these shoulds in your life.

你知道，2015年诺克斯学院的Kim Kasser进行了一项研究，发表在《积极心理学杂志》上。

You know, there was a study in 2015 done by Kim Kasser at Knox College, and it was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology.

这项研究发现，那些专注于内在价值——贡献、连接、做有意义的事、人际关系、快乐的人，比那些忙于追逐地位或财富的人报告了更高的生活满意度和显著更低的焦虑。

And this study found that people who are focused on these inner values, contribution, connection, doing something meaningful, relationships, joy, reported higher life satisfaction and way less anxiety than everybody else who's busy chasing status or wealth.

我想我们内心深处都明白这一点。

And I think we know this deep down.

追逐地位、金钱、名声这些破事根本不重要。

The chasing status, money, fame, all that crap doesn't matter.

重要的是当你晚上把头靠在枕头上时，是否觉得自己是个好人。

What matters is whether or not when you lay your head on the pillow at night, you feel like you're a good person.

你知道那些未完成的事——顺便说一句，这与你的价值观息息相关。

You know that that unfinished business, which by the way is connected to your values.

这就是为什么未完成的事会困扰你。

That's why unfinished business haunts you.

这就是为什么你未完成的事务与我的不同，因为它与更深层的东西相连。

That's why your unfinished business is different than mine because it's tied to something deeper.

当你知道自己今天已尽力而为，朝着对你重要的事物又迈进了一步，你就明白自己正过着美好的生活。

When you know that you did the best that you could with the time that you had today, that you inched yourself closer to the things that matter to you, you know that you're living a good life.

这个问题揭示的正是这一点，它也在问你：如果别人的看法不再束缚你，会怎样？

And that's what this question is uncovering, is it's also asking you, what if other people's opinions weren't holding you back?

如果你感受到的内疚、那些期望、害怕被人评判或失败的恐惧、突然感到尴尬或被人误解的担忧——如果这些都不再阻碍你呢？

What if the guilt that you feel, the expectations that you feel, what if that fear that people are gonna judge you or that you're gonna fail, and then all of a sudden you're gonna be embarrassed or that people are gonna misunderstand you?

如果这些都不再阻碍你，会怎样？

What if that wasn't holding you back?

如果你今天就能行动起来，在社交媒体上发布你的音乐，会怎样？

What if you could act you could go on social media today and put your music out?

如果你今天就能在社交媒体上谈论那项新事业，会怎样？

What if you could go on social media today and talk about that new business?

如果你今天就能在社交媒体上说'我刚完成了奥德赛计划'，会怎样？

What if you could go on social media today and say, I've just done the Odyssey Plan.

这是斯坦福的一个项目。

It's this thing at Stanford.

太酷了。

It's so cool.

我意识到我想要做出重大转变。

And I've realized I wanna make a big pivot.

如果关注我的观众中有瑜伽教练，能否在评论区告诉我你们会采取的第一步行动是什么？

If any of you that follow me do, I don't know, you're a yoga instructor, would you tell me in the comments what would be the first move you would make?

我的意思是，这非常有力量，因为阻碍你的最大因素其实不是金钱。

I mean, this is so powerful because the single biggest thing in your way, it's actually not money.

而是你害怕别人会怎么想。

It's your fear of what other people are gonna think.

如果你读过'让他们理论'，或者已经开始在生活中运用'让他们'和'让我'原则，你就会明白他人是你时间和精力的最大浪费源——因为你花了太多精力去管理他人的感受、取悦他人、担心别人的想法和行为。

And if you've read the let them theory, or you've already started using let them and let me in your life, you know that other people are the single biggest waster of your time and energy because you're spending too much time and energy managing everybody else's feelings, making everybody else happy, being worried about what other people are gonna think and do and feel.

我有更好的生活方式建议。

I got a better way to live your life.

随他们去

Let them.

随他们误解你

Let them misunderstand you.

随他们取关你

Let them unfollow you.

随他们对你不再想追求大公司职业发展而感到失望

Let them be disappointed that you no longer want to have the big corporate career.

你其实想卖掉一切去当个农夫，靠土地生活，做些让你心潮澎湃的酷事。

You actually wanna sell everything and go become a farmer and live off the land and do something cool that makes your heart sing.

让他们爱怎么想就怎么想，因为你知道吗？

Let them think whatever they're gonna think because guess what?

反正他们早就对你有负面看法了。

They already think negative thoughts about you anyway.

所以随他们去吧，把那些时间和精力都收回来，问问自己——让我来回答这个问题。

So just let them and take all that time and energy back and ask yourself, let me, let me answer this question.

如果被他人的意见所束缚，我的人生会是什么样子？

How would my life look if other people's opinions were holding me back?

如果我能任由他人误解、抱有期待或感到失望，同时仍能按照自己的意愿度过这唯一珍贵而精彩的人生，那会是怎样的感受？

What would my life feel like if I could let other people misunderstand me or have their expectations or be disappointed, and I could still do what I'd like to do with this one precious, amazing life that I have?

如果我今天就做出改变，尽管人们不理解呢？

What if I started making changes today even though people didn't get it?

如果他们嘲笑我改变饮食习惯，比如我改吃素、无麸质食品，或开始举重训练，而家人因此取笑我，因为没人做这种事呢？

If they tease me, what I change the way that I eat and I went vegan or gluten free or I started lifting weights and my family's gonna pick on me because nobody does that kind of thing?

随他们去吧。

Let them.

让我们深呼吸。

So let's take a deep breath.

假设你已经解决了资金问题。

Let's pretend you got the money handled.

假设无人旁观，没有任何事物能阻挡你。

Let's pretend no one's watching and that nothing is holding you back.

我知道这很难，但请允许自己畅想一分钟。

Just just I know it's hard, but just let yourself dream for a minute.

你会去当孩子足球队的教练吗？

Would you maybe coach your kid's soccer team?

你会选择在动物保护协会（宠物收容所）度过一天吗？

Would you spend your day at the Humane Society, you know, a pet shelter?

你会开始动手搭建东西吗？无论是乐高积木、拼图，还是准备在后院建个小木屋？

Would you take up building things, whether it's Legos or puzzles or maybe you're gonna build a little shed in the backyard?

你想住在哪里？

Where would you live?

比如，山间小屋听起来怎么样？

I mean, how does a cabin in the mountains sound?

我觉得挺不错的。

Sounds pretty good to me.

住在某个海滩边如何？

How about living on a beach somewhere?

那么乘小船环游世界怎么样？

What about a little boat sailing around the world?

那时会有谁在你身边？

And who would be there?

如果你不用一直工作，不用拼命赚钱支付账单和处理这些琐事，你会选择和谁共度时光？

Who would you be spending your time with if you weren't working all the time, if you weren't grinding it out to pay bills and do all this stuff?

这只是个畅想练习。

This is just a dreaming exercise.

我想让你注意到你的思维发散得有多快。

I want you to notice how quickly you start to go.

不。

No.

我们现在处于扩展模式。

We're in expansion mode.

你会花更多时间陪伴你深爱的朋友们吗？

Would you spend more time with friends that you love?

你会减少与那些只是勉强相处的同事共度的时间吗？

Would you spend less time with colleagues that you're just tolerating?

你希望在生活中感受到什么？

What is it that you want to feel in your life?

自由？

Freedom?

你想感受更多创造力吗？

Do you wanna feel more creative?

你希望生活更充满冒险吗？

Do you want it to be more adventurous?

你想要更多艺术气息，一种归属感吗？

Do you wanna have more artistry, a sense of belonging?

你想更深入地参与社区活动吗？

Do you wanna feel more engaged in your community?

请不要限制自己。

And please, don't limit yourself.

这是奥德赛计划。

This is the odyssey plan.

我希望你在脑海中开启一段奥德赛之旅，允许自己感受成为人生主角的滋味。

I want you to go on an odyssey in your mind and allow yourself to feel what it's like to be the hero in your life.

对你而言那会是怎样的感受？

What does that feel like for you?

你知道吗，梅尔·罗宾斯播客的一位制片人有个朋友叫亨利，他就做过奥德赛计划。

You know, one of the producers on the Mel Robbins podcast has a friend, Henry, and Henry did the odyssey planning.

他问了自己这三个问题，允许自己尽情做白日梦。

Asked himself these three questions, allowed himself to just daydream.

你知道如果没有任何束缚，他的宏大梦想是什么吗？

And do you know what his big dream was if nothing was holding him back?

那就是接管一座美丽的旧农舍，周围环绕着以电影和电影明星命名的猫，比如了不起的盖茨猫。

It was to take over a beautiful old farmhouse surrounded by cats named after movies and movie stars, names like the great Catsby.

听起来有点傻。

I mean, it sounds silly.

对吧？

Right?

猜猜怎么着？

Well, guess what?

这并不重要。

It doesn't matter.

因为亨利说，让他们嘲笑我给猫取的名字吧。

Because Henry's saying, let them let them laugh at my cat names.

让他们嘲笑我的梦想吧，因为这是我未完成的心愿。

Let them laugh at my dream because this is unfinished business for me.

就像此刻浮现在你脑海和心中的那个念头，对你而言也是未完成的心愿。

Just like whatever it is that's coming to your mind and heart is unfinished business to you.

这与他人无关。

It's not about other people.

这关乎你自己。

It's about you.

亨利还写下了拥有一台86英寸电视，一台能吐出无限免费意式冰沙的自动贩卖机。

Henry also put down owning an 86 inch TV, a vending machine that spits out never ending free Italian ice.

看到了吗？

See?

这就是重点。

That's the point.

即使听起来很傻、很荒谬，不如你我也像亨利一样？

Even if it sounds silly, ridiculous, How about you and I be like Henry?

只管写下来。

And just write it down.

只管写下来。

Just write it down.

我要告诉你们，我在几年前就做过这个练习。

I will tell you that I used this exercise several years ago.

几年前，我还没有主持播客节目。

Several years ago, I didn't host a podcast.

几年前，大概六年前吧，我靠每年出差150天为各大企业活动做演讲谋生。

Several years ago, this would have been about six years ago, I made a living by traveling one hundred and fifty days a year and speaking at large corporate events.

你知道，如果微软要办大型活动，他们就会聘请我，我会站在台上，面对数千名观众。

You know, if Microsoft were doing a big event, they would hire me, and I would be on the stage, and there'd be thousands of people.

事实上，我已经为微软做过近七场活动了。

In fact, I've done almost seven events for Microsoft.

我为摩根大通做过51场。

I've done 51 for JPMorgan.

我还在星巴克演讲过。

I've spoken at Starbucks.

所有这些了不起的公司，这曾是种令人难以置信的谋生方式。

All these amazing companies, and it was an incredible way to make a living.

偶尔我也会写本书。

And then occasionally, I would write a book.

我写过《五秒法则》。

I wrote the five second rule.

我写了《击掌习惯》这本书

I wrote the high five habit.

但对我来说总有些未完成的事

But there was just this unfinished business for me.

内心总有些东西在涌动

There was something stirring inside me.

你知道那是什么吗？

And do you know what it was?

当我真正问自己：如果明天你现在的道路消失了，你会做什么？

When I really said to myself, if the path that you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do?

梅尔，如果所有这些演讲事业都消失了，如果没人再买你的书，所有线上粉丝都消失了，你会做什么？

If all of this speaking business, Mel, disappeared, if no one ever bought another book, all your followers online disappeared, what would you do?

当时的答案非常清晰

And the answer was very clear at the time.

那就是：我会开一个播客

It was I would start a podcast.

但随后所有的借口都来了。

But then all the excuses came in.

光是Spotify上就有600万个播客，几乎没人能靠播客赚钱。

Well, there's 6,000,000 podcasts in Spotify alone, and almost nobody makes money in podcasting.

只有那些顶尖的大节目才能盈利。

Only, like, the top big shows make money.

我该怎么支付我员工的工资呢？

And how am I gonna pay for the people that are on my payroll?

那我该怎么还房贷呢？因为我现在有套房子，房贷比以前我经济拮据时高多了。

And how am I gonna, like, be able to pay my mortgage because I now have a house that, you know, the mortgage is bigger than it used to be when I was really struggling.

所以我该怎么平衡这一切，这又该怎么办呢？

And so how am I gonna make this all work, and what about this?

但我允许自己去做梦。

But I allowed myself to dream.

如果没有任何束缚，生活会是什么样子？

How would life look if nothing was holding me back?

这个愿景不断在我脑海中浮现，它是这样的

And I kept having this vision, and here was the vision.

这个愿景是：想象一个世界，我在波士顿创办了一档播客节目

The vision was imagine a world where I had a podcast, and the podcast was based in Boston.

我敞开心扉，直面那些未竟之事

I just opened up my mind and my heart to the unfinished business.

那该有多酷啊？

How cool would that be?

当你真正允许自己这样做时，最奇妙的是——我希望你也试试

And what's super fascinating when you truly allow yourself to do this is and I want you to do this.

我希望你把这个写下来

I want you to write about this.

我希望你写下：你的生活看起来和感觉起来是什么样子

I want you to write down what does your life look and feel like.

你猜怎么着？

And guess what?

当你进行现在这个过程时，奇妙的事情就会发生。

Something incredible happens when you do the process you're doing right now.

它不会像独角兽那样凭空出现，也不会神奇地从天而降。

It doesn't appear like a unicorn and magically fall out of the sky.

接下来发生的事情要酷得多。

What happens is way cooler.

通过问自己这三个问题，你正在撬开一直存在的可能性。

By asking yourself these three questions, you are now cracking open possibility that's always been there.

你正在允许自己的梦想脱离大脑，真实存在于世界上，并跃然纸上呈现在你面前。

You are giving your dreams permission to get out of your brain and exist out into the world and right in front of you on paper.

所以让自己沉浸其中片刻吧。

So let yourself bask in that for a minute.

放下规则。

Drop the rules.

暂时抛开金钱的烦恼。

Get rid of the money worries for just a second.

你马上就能把它们拿回来。

You can have them back in a minute.

忽略那些评判，只管想象。

Ignore the judgment and just imagine.

你天生就具备想象的能力。

You're built to imagine.

你的大脑知道如何这样漫游。

Your mind knows how to wander like that.

重新连接那个知道你真想要什么的部分，这速度多有趣啊？

Isn't it interesting how quickly you can reconnect with the part of you that knows what you really want?

就像那些未完成的事情一样。

It's like that unfinished business.

我太喜欢这种感觉了。

I love that.

所以现在我希望你注意一下，做点小梦想的感觉有多美妙。

And so I want you to pay attention right now how good it feels to just dream a little.

即便你对第三个问题的回答看起来只是'还行'

And even if your answer for question three seems like, okay.

嗯，是有点天马行空

Well, it's a little out there.

是有点不寻常

It's a little out there.

它依然为你提供了此刻所需的明确线索

It's still giving you clues to exactly what you need now.

你需要更多这样的时刻

You need more of this.

明白吗？

Okay?

这就是你需要的

That's what you need.

好的

Alright.

所以你大概在想，好吧。

So you're probably thinking, alright.

我该怎么处理这个，梅尔？

What do I do with this, Mel?

因为我有三个问题，我想要认可你。0

Because I've got the three questions, and I wanna acknowledge you.

我想认可你不仅是在倾听或观看基于研究的内容，这些内容将帮助你创造更好的生活，我更想认可你花时间回答了这些问题。

I wanna acknowledge you for not only listening or watching to something that is based in research and that is gonna help you create a better life, but I wanna acknowledge you for taking the time to answer the questions.

所以如果你现在沉浸其中，并且疑惑着，好吧。

And so if you're now, like, in it and you're wondering, okay.

然后呢？

Now what?

问得好。

Great question.

你已经打开了一张地图。

You've opened up a map.

你已经在生活中展开了一张地图，我要你审视所有你思考过并记录下来的内容，现在我要你好好想想。

You've opened up a map in your life, and I want you to look at everything that you've thought about and that you've written down, and now I want you to think about, okay.

我有了这张大地图，而我当前的生活正把我带向这边。

I have this big map, and my current life is taking me over here.

但当我真正放下所有评判，沉浸于白日梦时，我有点想去这边。

But when I really suspend all the judgment and I tap into daydreaming, I kinda wanna go over here.

现在你要做的是——这个方法来自斯坦福的课程。

And now here's what you're gonna do, and this comes from the course at Stanford.

我要你选择一件事、一个目的地、一个你想前进的方向，一件能抓住你兴趣的事。

I want you to pick one thing, one destination, one direction you wanna head in, one thing that just catches your interest.

看，这些问题已经为你在这张地图上标出了坐标点。

See, the questions gave you points on this map.

它们为你提供了所需的洞见和方向。

They gave you the insight and the direction that you need.

你并没有被困住。

You're not stuck.

你并没有迷失方向。

You're not lost.

在你内心深处，那些始终存在的答案会让你重新走上一条真正让你找回自我、重燃生活激情的道路。

Deep inside you are the answers that have been there all along that put you back on a path that really makes you feel like more of yourself again, that makes you excited about life again.

所以你可能在想，好吧。

And so you're probably wondering, okay.

那么，梅尔，我该如何在不颠覆一切的情况下，将这些问题中看到的更多内容融入我的生活？

Well, how do I pull more of what I'm seeing in these questions into my life, Mel, without having to blow everything up.

明白吗？

Okay?

因为这些问题，别以为你知道，也许你会是那个说'知道吗？'的人。

Because these questions, don't think you know, maybe you are the person that says, you know what?

这正是我需要的清晰答案。

This is the clarity I needed.

我已经存好了钱。

I have the money saved.

我知道我要做什么了。

I know what I'm gonna do.

我一直胆小害怕，不敢果断行动做出改变。

I've been chicken and scared to to just pull the cord and make the change.

我要行动了。

I'm doing it.

我要行动了。

I'm doing it.

真的，谢谢你。

Like, thank you.

奥德赛计划揭示了我其实一直都知道该怎么做。

The odyssey plan revealed that I knew what to do all along.

我只是害怕去做。

I've been scared to do it.

我知道我的B计划，今天就执行它。

I know my plan b, and I'm executing it today.

我要辞职了。

I'm quitting the job.

好的。

Okay.

这可能是个例子。

That could be one example.

但更可能是，你开始意识到所有这些选择和可能性。

But more likely, you're just waking up to all these options and possibilities.

你开始重新感受到希望和乐观。

You're starting to feel a sense of hope and optimism again.

那么如何在不大改一切、不辞职、不颠覆现状的情况下，将这些洞见融入你的生活？

So how do you insert these insights into your life without really changing everything, quitting your job, blowing everything up?

这是个好问题，我有个绝佳的例子。

It's a great question, and I have the perfect example.

我丈夫克里斯托弗一直想写本书。

So my husband Christopher has always wanted to write a book.

而且，你知道，如果你在自问，他是做什么工作的？

And, you know, if you're asking yourself, what does he do for a living?

克里斯托弗创办了一个名为'灵魂高度'的男性静修活动，每年主持三次。

Well, Christopher started a men's retreat called Soul Degree, and he leads those three times a year.

他还是一名临终关怀导乐师，但他一直想写本书。

And he also is a death doula, but he has been wanting to write a book.

他甚至不知道这本书要写什么内容。

And he doesn't even know what the book is about.

明白吗？

Okay?

他只是知道自己想写本书。

He just knows he wants to write a book.

于是在做'奥德赛计划'时——这是几年前的事了——他意识到了这点。

And so in doing the Odyssey Plan, this was a couple years ago, he recognized this.

所以他就想，好吧。

And so he's like, okay.

我现在要做的第一个改变就是培养一个新习惯。

The first change I'm gonna make to bring this into my life now is I'm just going to create a new habit.

顺便说一句，这是改变你当前人生轨迹的一种方式。

This is a way, by the way, to change your current path.

因为只要你改变一个习惯，无论是每天写作、每天散步，还是每天花十五分钟研究你感兴趣的事物，你的人生轨迹就会自动改变。

Because if you just change one habit, whether it's writing every day or walking every day or spending fifteen minutes every day researching something you're interested in, you automatically change the path that you're on.

所以克里斯只是从在晨间例行事项中加入写作开始。

And so Chris just started by adding writing to his morning routine.

这就是他所做的全部。

That's all that he did.

他坚持每天写作十五到二十分钟。

Just every single day, he would write for fifteen or twenty minutes.

最近，他突然顿悟：自己真正想要的不是随便写写，而是实实在在地写一本书。

Well, recently, he had this huge epiphany that he really wants to go from just writing to truly writing a book.

克里斯所做的——这也是我想邀请你们思考的——就是把最重要的事情放在首位。

Well, what Chris did, and this is what I want you in invite you to think about, is he now put the most important thing first.

他现在早上5:15起床，先冥想，然后写作。

He now wakes up at 05:15, he meditates, and then he writes.

小小的改变，不同的终点，不同的道路。

Small change, different destination, different path.

写完文章后，他会去遛狗、锻炼，然后开始一天的生活。

After he writes, he then goes and walks the dogs and exercises and starts his day.

但你有没有注意到，这个清晨的小小改变向他传递了一个信号：他正走在不同的道路上？

But do you see how that small change first thing in the morning signals to him that the path that he's on is different?

写作不再是可有可无的事。

Writing isn't a nice to have.

写作就是我的本质。

Writing is who I am.

每天起床后第二件事就是写作，这向我表明这件事对我很重要，现在它在我的人生道路上创造了什么？

Writing every day as the second thing I do after I am out of bed signals to me that this is something that is important to me, and it now creates a small fork in the road that what?

创造了一条完全不同的道路。

Creates an entirely different path.

这就是你的做法。

That's how you can do it.

你每天真的可以只做一个改变。

You literally can make one change a day.

就这样简单。

That's it.

而且你不需要一个小时。

And you don't need an hour.

你可以每天花十五分钟研究猫咪名字和会吐出意大利冰的自动贩卖机。

You could dedicate fifteen minutes a day to researching cat names and vending machines that that spit out Italian ice.

你可以研究花卉农场，看看它们的利润表是什么样的，人们是如何起步的，需要多长时间。

You could research flower farms and what does the p and l look like and how do people get started and how long does it take.

你可以研究护理或成为急救医疗技术员的在线课程。

You could research online programs for nursing or becoming an EMT.

你可以去滑雪场问问他们，如何成为滑雪巡逻队或滑雪教练。

You could stop by the ski resort and ask them for information about how you become part of ski patrol or a ski instructor.

你可以开始关注旅行博主，每天享用咖啡和早餐时，在开始处理工作邮件前的十五分钟里，研究人们如何起步的故事。

You could start following travel bloggers, and every fifteen minutes as you're enjoying your coffee and eating your breakfast before you log on to work emails, you could be studying the stories of how people got started.

这就是你只需一个改变就能做到的方法。

That's how you do it with just one change.

看，斯坦福大学的教授比尔·伯内特和戴夫·埃文斯真的很聪明。

See, the professors at Stanford, professors Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, they're really smart.

他们不只是让你做梦。

They don't just have you dream.

他们采用这种方法：一旦用这些巧妙而有力的问题打开你的思维，你就被迫思考——哦，原来还有其他选择。

They do this process where once they crack you open with these sneaky, powerful questions, and you're forced to entertain, oh, there are other options here.

哦，我的借口正在阻止我现在做些小事。

Oh, my excuses are keeping me from doing small things now.

哦，还有未完成的事情。

Oh, there's unfinished business.

一旦他们这样打开了你的思维，你就被他们抓住了。

Once they have you cracked open like that, now they gotcha.

现在他们希望你做的事情，他们称之为‘创建原型’。

And now what they want you to do is they call it create a prototype.

这是斯坦福大学里对我让你做的事情的华丽说法，其实就是找出一个小方法来尝试这件事。

That's the fancy word at Stanford for what I'm telling you to do, which is just figure out a small way to experiment with this thing.

那么这可能意味着什么？

So what could that mean?

这意味着你不必等待大事发生。

It means you don't have to wait for the big thing to happen.

你不必明天就彻底改变生活

You don't have to blow up your life tomorrow.

你可以从所有答案中获取线索，然后进行测试

You can take clues from all of your answers and just test them.

这就像进行一个小实验，而你必须这样做

It's just like running a little experiment, and here's how you have to do it.

你可以回听这段内容，回答问题，深入挖掘，圈出任何让你眼前一亮的东西——一个职业想法、一项你想学习的技能、一个你想多相处的人、一项你想投入的爱好，或者只是你想要更多的某种感觉，这些就是你的素材

You can go back, relisten to this, answer the questions, dig in deep, and circle anything that made you perk up, a career idea, a skill you wanna learn, a person you wanna spend more time with, a hobby that you wanna engage in, or just a feeling that you want more of, and there's your material.

现在选一个，问问自己：有什么低成本、低风险的方式可以探索这个想法？

And now pick one and ask yourself, what's a small low stakes way that I could explore that?

比如，如果你写下想搬到别处居住——现在大家都热衷于蒙大拿州——你的原型可能就是报名参加一次短途旅行。

If you wrote down, for example, that you would love to live somewhere else, everyone's all hot on Montana right now, your prototype might be signing up for a short trip.

但如果负担不起，目前预算不允许，也没关系。

But if you can't afford that, it's not in the budget right now, no problem.

何不找位当地居民聊聊，了解那里的真实情况？

How about talking to somebody who already lives there to get a sense of what it's like?

或者这里有个更简单的原型测试方法。

Or here's an even easier way to prototype this.

打开谷歌街景视图。

Go to street view on Google.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

打开谷歌地图。

Go to Google Maps.

点击街景视图。

Click on street view.

就像开车兜风一样，在风景中畅游。

And just cruise through the landscape as if you're in a car cruising around.

因为也许你会沉浸其中，体验这个原型，然后突然意识到：等等，

Because maybe you're gonna cruise in there and prototype this and be like, wait.

这个镇子只有两个街区那么长？

This town is only two blocks long?

这和我想象的不一样。

This isn't what I imagined.

或者，哦，这里看起来并不像《黄石》剧集里那样。

Or, oh, this doesn't really look like that, series Yellowstone.

我原本想象的是另一番景象。

I was kind of imagining something else.

又或许你会惊叹：天哪。

Or maybe it'll be like, oh my gosh.

我心花怒放。

My heart is singing.

我得想办法搬到那里去。

I gotta find a way to move there.

我得想办法攒点钱去那里旅行，而不是每周挥霍在酒吧和网购那些无关紧要的东西上。

I gotta find a way to save some money and go on a trip there instead of blowing it every week and going out on the bars and buying things online that don't matter.

看到这开始奏效了吗？

See how this starts to work?

因为你突然之间就在提升那些重要的事物。

Because now you all of a sudden are elevating what matters.

于是你的时间、精力和金钱现在变得重要起来。

And so your time and energy and money now become important.

因为当你明白什么重要时，你也会开始看清什么不重要。

Because now that you see what matters, you start to see what doesn't matter.

你会开始发现自己浪费在哪些事情上的时间、金钱和精力，这意味着你可以收回这些资源，开始为真正重要的事情储蓄。

You start to see what you're wasting time and money and energy on, and that means you can claw it back and start saving it for some of the things that matter.