本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
这是一个iHeart播客节目。
This is an iHeart podcast.
百分百真人。
Guaranteed human.
在本周的《下一章》节目中，我——TD Jakes，将与两度荣获奥斯卡奖的演员兼文化偶像丹泽尔·华盛顿展开对话。
On this week's episode of next chapter, I, TD Jakes, sit down with Denzel Washington, a two time Academy Award winning actor and cultural icon.
我对此不敢居功。
I don't take any credit for it.
我只是没有把自己放在首位。
I just didn't put me first.
我只是把上帝放在首位，而祂一直扶持着我。
I just put God first, and he's carried me.
请在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你获取播客的任何平台收听《下一章》播客。
Listen to the next chapter podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
新剧集每周更新。
New episodes drop weekly.
你好。
Hi.
我是普里扬卡·沃利医生。
I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.
我是哈里昆多格鲁。
And I'm Harikundovoglu.
在我们的新播客《健康那些事儿》中，我们将为你解答那些令人困惑的健康问题。
On our new podcast, health stuff, we demystify your burning health questions.
你会听到我们完全坦诚地谈论自己的健康状况。
You'll hear us being completely honest about our own health.
说实话，我住院医师时期的结肠就像在求救。
My residency colon was like a cry for help, honestly.
你还会听到专家们希望让医疗更人性化的坦诚建议和个人故事。
And you'll hear candid advice and personal stories from experts who wanna make health care more human.
我总觉得自己在医学领域从未真正找到归属感。
I feel like I never felt like I truly belonged in medicine.
我们想让健康话题变得不那么令人困惑，甚至可能带点乐趣。
We wanna make health less confusing and maybe even a little fun.
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或任何你获取播客的地方收听《健康话题》。
Find health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
彭博新闻的《The Big Take》播客让你掌握每日最重要的新闻动态。
The Big Take Podcast from Bloomberg News keeps you on top of the biggest stories of the day.
我的美国同胞们，今天是解放日。
My fellow Americans, this is liberation day.
这些故事能撼动市场。
Stories that move markets.
鲍威尔主席为这次首次降息打开了大门。
Chair Powell opened the door to this first interest rate cut.
影响政治，改变商业。
Impact politics, change businesses.
这确实是AI领域的一个惊人发展，将彻底改变你对盈利的认知。
This is a really stunning development for the AI world and how you think about your bottom line.
每个工作日下午，在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您获取播客的任何平台收听彭博新闻的《大事件》。
Listen to the Big Take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯，这位是雅各布·戈尔茨坦。
I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾主持过一档名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业历史》的新播客，讲述历史上最伟大的创意、人物与企业故事。
And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.
还有一些最糟糕的人、可怕的想法和具有破坏性的公司
And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies
在商业史上。
in the history of business.
第一集，西南航空如何利用廉价座位和免费威士忌打入航空业
First episode, how Southwest Airlines used cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline
领域。
business.
最德克萨斯的故事。
The most Texas story ever.
收听《商业历史》
Listen to business history
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您获取播客的任何平台。
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
大家好，欢迎回到《二十几岁的心理学》，在这档播客中我们将探讨二十多岁面临的一些重大人生变化和转折，以及它们对我们的心理意味着什么。
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the psychology of your twenties, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they mean for our psychology.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
欢迎回到节目。
Welcome back to the show.
欢迎回到播客，新听众、老听众，无论你们身处世界何处。
Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world.
非常高兴你们能回来收听新一期节目，我们将继续解析二十多岁的心理状态。
It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we, of course, break down the psychology of our twenties.
首先在我们开始之前，我想感谢大家最近对我的书给予的厚爱。
I wanna firstly just before we get into it, thank you all for the love that you have been showing my book recently.
如果你们还不知道，今年早些时候我出版了一本书。
If you didn't know, I released a book early this year.
书名叫《成长中的人》。
It's called Person in Progress.
过去一个月里，我意外收到了来自你们所有人最暖心的书评、留言和私信。
And in the last month, I have just been receiving some of the kindest reviews, kindest comments, kindest messages from you all out of nowhere.
所以我想正式感谢你们，对我分享给世界的这份作品如此温柔以待。
So I just wanted to give you a formal thank you for just being so kind about this thing that I put out into the world.
如果你还没拿到这本书，它本质上可以说是《二十几岁心理学》的终极扩展指南。
If you are yet to get your hands on a copy, the book is basically, well, like, the ultimate and extended guide to the psychology of your twenties.
所以如果你喜欢这个播客节目，我相当确定你也会喜欢这本书。
So if you like the podcast, I think I can make a fairly certain assumption that you will like the book as well.
我会在简介里留下购买链接。
I will leave a link in the description.
再次重申，我对你们所有人充满感激。
But again, you have all of my gratitude.
非常感谢大家。
Thank you so much to you all.
今天的话题是，我虽不能代表你们，但最近我确实经历了几段感到非常陌生、不像自己的时期。
So for today, I can't speak for you guys, but recently, I have been going through, I would say, a few periods of feeling very alien, very unlike myself.
这是一种奇怪的体验，最贴切的描述是当人们问我'描述一下你自己'，或询问我的兴趣爱好、工作与亲密关系之外的我时——
It's been this strange experience where the best way I can summarize it is that people will ask me, you know, describe yourself, or they'll ask me what I'm interested in or or who I am beyond work or beyond my immediate relationships.
我发现自己处于一种抓救命稻草的状态，试图拼凑出兴趣、价值观、爱好这些答案。
And I'm kind of in this situation of grasping at straws at the moment, you know, interests, values, hobbies.
明明知道这些特质都存在，但我和'构成我的元素'之间仿佛有场拉锯战，让我感到怪异、缺乏原创性、有些乏味，甚至与自我严重脱节。
Like, I know I have them, but there's this strange war between between me and the things that make me me that means that I feel kind of strange and unoriginal and a little bit bland and very detached from myself.
这让我想起和前任分手后的那段时期，感受非常相似。
I remember this period right after my last boyfriend and I broke up where I felt very similar.
那段关系严重动摇了我的自信，之后整整六个月我都像活在身体之外，曾经确信的自我认知全都变得难以感知。
You know, that relationship rocked my confidence so much that for, like, six months afterwards, I just felt like I was living outside of my body in a way, and all the things I knew to be true about the person I was felt impossible to feel.
那时我刚搬到新城市，正试着结交新朋友，却感觉与自己的灵魂如此疏离。
I also had moved cities at the time and was trying to make new friends, and I just felt so detached from my spirit.
我甚至无法正常与人交谈。
I couldn't hold a conversation.
我无法真正与人深入交流。
I couldn't really engage with people on a deep level.
似乎用'疏离'这个词来形容最贴切。
It seems like this detachment is the best word.
这种与自我认知的脱节是我们二十多岁时相当普遍的体验。
This detachment from our sense of self is a fairly common experience for a lot of us in our twenties.
我认为实际上它是以一种相当循环的方式发生的。
I think, actually, it occurs in quite a cyclical manner.
我们会经历一些充满自信、活力四射的阶段，然后突然间就莫名地不再像自己了。
We go through periods of feeling very confident, feeling very alive, and then suddenly out of nowhere, we just don't feel like ourselves anymore.
这某种程度上提醒我们需要重新连接内心深处的自我，需要重新确认我们在乎什么，但同时也是一种非常可怕且不适的感受。
And it kinda serves as a reminder of when we need to reconnect with the deeper parts of ourselves, when we need to reidentify what we care about, but it's also kind of a really scary and uncomfortable feeling.
所以今天，我想剖析并拆解那种感觉。
So today, I wanna dissect and kind of break down that feeling.
我还想给大家一些指导，关于如何重新找回自我，或者当我们感到像是自己生活中的陌生人、自己身体里的陌生人时，如何与正在浮现的新版本自我建立连接。
I wanna give you as well a bit of a guide as to how we can feel like ourselves again or how we can perhaps connect with a newer version of ourselves that's emerging when we are feeling kind of like a stranger in our own life and a stranger in our own body.
我们也不会只谈论那些老生常谈的方法。
We are also not just gonna talk about things that are run of the mill.
写日记、冥想、花时间从事兴趣爱好都是对抗'不像自己'这种状态的绝佳方式，但我觉得这些方法我们都已经知道了。
Journaling, meditation, spending time doing your hobbies are all fabulous, fabulous ways to combat not feeling like yourself, but I feel like we all kind of know them.
我想更深入、更广泛地探讨，给大家一些可能从未听过的建议和研究，让这期节目尽可能实用、信息丰富且原创，从而发挥最大帮助。
I wanna just go a little bit deeper and a little bit broader and give you some tips and advice that you probably haven't heard before, some research that you probably haven't heard before, so that this episode is as practical, informative, and as original as as it can be so that it is as helpful as it can be as well.
我们还会讨论为什么你会在人生的这个阶段经历这种情况，以及为什么有时在自我中感到迷失未必是坏事。
We're also gonna talk about why you may be experiencing this at this chapter or point in your life, but also why it's maybe not a bad thing to feel a little bit lost within yourself sometimes.
闲话少说，我们有很多内容要探讨。
So without further ado, we have so much to cover.
那么现在就开始我的《如何重新找回自我》指南吧。
So let's get into my guide to how to feel like yourself again.
嗨。
Hi.
我是普里扬卡·沃利医生。
I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.
我是哈里·昆达博格鲁。
And I'm Hari Kundaboglu.
在我们的新播客《健康那些事》中，我们将为您解答那些令人困惑的健康问题。
On our new podcast, Health Stuff, we demystify your burning health questions.
您将听到我们完全坦诚地分享自己的健康状况。
You'll hear us being completely honest about our own health.
我现在正在谈论非常严肃的事情，而你却在笑我。
I'm talking about very serious stuff right now, and you're laughing at me.
您还将听到来自专家的坦诚建议和个人故事，他们希望让医疗保健更具人性化。
And you'll hear candid advice and personal stories from experts who want to make healthcare more human.
有时候你只需要在那里倾听、理解、共情，或许帮他们弄清楚发生了什么或给症状命名。
Sometimes you're there to listen, to understand, to empathize, maybe to give them an understanding or a name for what's going on.
这能极大地帮助人们，让他们明白问题并非只存在于想象中。
That helps people a lot, understanding that it's not just in their head.
我们将解析科学原理，与专家对话，并分享你日常生活中真正实用的健康建议。
We are breaking down the science, talking with experts, and sharing practical health tips you can actually use in your day to day life.
从何时利用及避免人造光线，到如何获得更好的睡眠。
From when to utilize and avoid artificial light to how to sleep better.
关于膳食纤维你需要知道的一切，以及如何改善排便。
Everything you need to know about fiber and how to poop better.
如何减轻时差反应的影响，以及如何在困境中保持希望。
How to minimize the effects of jet lag and how to stay hopeful in times of distress.
我们人类，最渴望的就是联结。
We human beings, all we want is connection.
我们只是想要彼此连接。
We just want to connect with each other.
我们想让健康话题不再令人困惑，甚至变得有点趣味。
We wanna make health less confusing and maybe even a little fun.
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的地方寻找健康相关内容。
Find health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯。
I'm Robert Smith.
这位是雅各布·戈德斯坦。
And this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾主持过一档名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业历史》的新播客，讲述历史上最杰出的创意、人物和企业
And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history
以及一些最恶劣的人物、糟糕的创意和破坏性公司
and some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies
在商业史上的故事。
in the history of business.
拥有天才创意却无实际需求，便毫无价值。
Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing.
这就像根本没有它一样。
It's like not having it at all.
这是一个
It's a
非常简洁而优雅的教训。
very simple, elegant lesson.
制造人们想要的东西。
Make something people want.
第一集讲述西南航空如何利用廉价机票和免费威士忌打入航空业的故事。
First episode, how Southwest Airlines used cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.
最具德州特色的故事。
The most Texas story ever.
这个故事里有很多特立独行的人。
There's a lot of mavericks in that story.
我们节目里会有很多特立独行的人物。
We're gonna have mavericks on the show.
我们会讲述许多强盗大亨的故事。
We're gonna have plenty of robber barons.
太多强盗大亨了。
So many robber barons.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
他们并非都是坏人。
They're not all bad.
我们将讨论
And we'll talk about
那些著名商业天才的经典辉煌时刻
some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses
以及一些常被忽视的黑暗时刻，比如托马斯·爱迪生与电椅的关联。
along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked, like Thomas Edison and the electric chair.
聆听商业历史
Listen to business history
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的地方收听
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
当你将1950年代的好莱坞、一位怀揣梦想的古巴音乐家和史上最具标志性的情景喜剧之一融合在一起时，会得到什么？
What do you get when you mix nineteen fifties Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time?
你会得到德西·阿纳兹——一位开拓者、商人、丈夫，或许最重要的是，他是首位打破黄金时段壁垒的拉丁裔明星。
You get Desi Arnaz, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband, and maybe most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open.
我是威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛，没错，我和你们以及数百万观众一样，是看着他的节目长大的。
I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and yes, I grew up watching him, probably just like you and millions of others.
但对我而言，我在他的故事中看到了自己的影子。
But for me, I saw myself in his story.
从搭建金丝雀笼子到如今在纽约的这个夜晚，这一路漫长而遥远。
From planting canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways.
在这档由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉马主演的播客中，我将带你走进德西的人生旅程，那些我们生命交叠的时刻，他如何重新定义了美国电视，以及这对我们这些在荧幕外等待屏幕上出现一张像我们这样的面孔意味着什么。
On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life, the moments he has overlapped with mine, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like ours on screen.
这是一个关于一个人的聚光灯如何为众多后来者照亮道路的故事，也是关于我们如何传承他今日遗产的故事。
This is the story of how one man's spotlight lit the path for so many others and how we carry his legacy today.
欢迎收听由Desi Arnaz和Wilmer Valderrama主演的节目，该节目属于My Cultura播客网络，可在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或其他任何您获取播客的平台收听。
Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
嘿，你好。
Hey there.
我是杰西·米尔斯医生。
Doctor Jesse Mills here.
我是加州大学洛杉矶分校健康中心男性诊所的主任，我想告诉你
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health, and I wanna tell you
关于我的新播客《邮件室》。
about my new podcast called The Mailroom.
我是乔丹，这个节目的制作人。
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
和很多男性一样，我已经很多年没去看医生了。
And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years.
我将提出那些我们本该问却一直没问的问题。
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking but aren't.
因为男人们通常不会去看医生，除非脸上掉了一块肉或者骨折了。
Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone.
那得看是哪根骨头。
Depends which bone.
哇。
Wow.
确实如此。
That's true.
每周我们都会剖析男性健康的独特领域，从睾酮、健身到饮食、生育能力，以及卧室里发生的事。
Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom.
你是指睡觉吗？
You mean sleep?
是啊。
Yeah.
差不多吧，乔丹。
Something like that, Jordan.
我们将用通俗易懂的方式探讨科学，为你真正关心的那些问题提供答案。
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
这将充满乐趣，无论你是27岁、97岁，还是介于两者之间。
It's gonna be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between.
男性健康不仅仅是六块腹肌和营养补充剂。
Men's health is about more than six packs and supplements.
它关乎精力、自信和人际关系。
It's about energy, confidence, and connection.
我们不仅希望你活得更久。
We don't just want you to live longer.
更希望你活得更好。
We want you to live better.
欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你喜爱的节目平台上订阅《邮件室》。
So check out the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
在介绍今天的七种以上策略之前，请容我先说明：在实施任何新习惯前，在进行三十天重置计划、七十五天硬核训练等任何项目前——简而言之，在你繁忙生活中添加任何新事项前，最重要的是先理解这种失衡状态可能产生的原因。
Before we get into the seven plus strategies I have for you today, let me just say the best thing you can do before you implement any new habits, before you try any thirty day reset, any seventy five hard program, anything like that, basically before you add anything to your already busy life, it's just to understand why this disconnect may be occurring.
没有自我认知，就没有成长。
There is no growth without self knowledge.
关键在于，这种感受很可能并非偶然。
And the thing is, this feeling probably isn't an accident.
它源于你生活中的某些因素，正是这些因素导致了不满或疏离感。
It is stemming from somewhere, some something in your life that is creating dissatisfaction or disconnect.
最可能的解释如下。
The most likely explanations are as follows.
首先，你可能感觉不像自己，是因为你陷入了某种停滞状态。
Firstly, you may be feeling unlike yourself because you've just become a little bit stuck.
你正处于一个停滞期，一切都显得陈旧不变，日子千篇一律，生活模式固定，结果导致你的自我意识、灵魂——无论你如何称呼这个核心部分——失去了拓展的机会。
You are in a period of stagnation where nothing feels new, nothing feels different, your days are the same, your routines are the same, and as a result, your sense of self, your soul, whatever you wanna label it, this core part of who you are is not being given the opportunity to expand.
事实上，我们的自我意识并非一成不变。
The thing is, our sense of self is not a static thing.
它要求我们持续进化。
It demands constant evolution from us.
你的自我意识，虽然听起来可能有点傻，就像我喜欢形容的那样，它有点像一只海豚。
Your sense of self, and it's gonna sound so silly, like the way I like to describe it, it's kind of like a dolphin.
它也有点像一条鲨鱼。
It's kind of like a shark.
你知道的，当海豚或鲨鱼停止游动或不再前进时——你可能知道这个——它们就会死亡。
You know, the moment a dolphin or a shark stops swimming or stops moving forward, you might know this, but they die.
这对你的灵魂来说也有点类似。
And it's kinda similar for your soul.
当你的灵魂感觉不到前进，没有经历新事物，不被允许成长时，它也会经历某种类似的死亡。
The moment your soul feels like it's not moving forward, it's not experiencing new things, it's not being allowed to grow, it also kind of experiences a similar kind of death.
从心理学角度讲，当我们感受到前进的动力时，我们才会茁壮成长。
Psychologically, we thrive when we have a sense of forward motion.
这就是心理学家亚伯拉罕·马斯洛（你可能知道他）所说的自我实现。
This is what the psychologist Abraham Maslow, you might know him, called self actualization.
所以马斯洛，我不想说是他创造了（这个概念）。
So Maslow, I don't wanna say created.
马斯洛，他甚至找不到更合适的词来形容。
Maslow, he founded not even a worse word to use.
基本上，他最著名的贡献是需求层次理论，认为我们追求的终极需求是认识自我和挑战自我的状态。
Basically, he he's most famous for his hierarchy of needs and this idea that the very top need that we want to achieve is a state of knowing ourselves and a state of challenging ourselves.
这就是自我实现。
That is self actualization.
但他并非第一个理解或认识到这一点的人。
But he was not the first person to understand this or recognize this.
事实上，这种人类心理的核心部分，早在西方心理学家为其命名之前，就已被原住民文化所理解和实践。
In fact, this core part of human psychology has been understood and practiced by indigenous cultures long before Western psychologists gave it a name.
特别是马斯洛在1930年代与加拿大和美国黑脚族部落共同生活期间，将自我实现确立为自我的核心追求。
Particularly, Maslow really identified self actualization as a core priority of the self when he was living with members of the Blackfoot nation in Canada and in America during the nineteen thirties.
他观察到这个部落深刻理解：人类若要蓬勃发展，就需要行动感和目标感，需要持续实践。
And he saw that this community really kind of understood that if a human was to thrive and was to flourish, they needed a sense of movement, of purpose, They needed to be doing things.
我认为探讨西方现代心理学中这些概念的古老根源至关重要，因为这段历史常常被忽视。
I think it's really important to talk about where these concepts in Western and modern psychology come from way back when and at their roots, because that is a part of history that is often missed.
事实上，在自我实现和需求层次理论方面，这部分历史我原本并不了解，直到一位听众告诉我。
And it's a part of history that I actually didn't know when it comes to self actualization and the hierarchy of needs until one of the listeners told me.
非常有趣的是，这种向前发展的理念，各种文化和社会早已有之，比我们现代社会能够命名这一概念要早得多。
So very interesting that this idea of forward movement is one that cultures and societies have had longer than we as a modern society could put a name to it.
让我们回到正题。
So back to what we're talking about.
如果你发现自己困在例行公事中，做着非常单调的事情，在不知不觉中已经超越了当前环境，这可能导致你与自身核心部分更深层次的脱节。
If you have found yourself stuck in a routine, doing very monotonous things, finding that you've outgrown your environment without realizing it, this may be contributing to a deeper detachment from core parts of you.
也可能是你在生存模式中困住的时间比你意识到的要长。
It could also be that you've kind of been stuck in survival mode for longer than you realize.
你可能过于专注于生活中那些忙碌和紧急的部分，以至于几乎没有空间放慢脚步、观察和学习。
You may be so focused on prioritizing the bit busy and and urgent parts of your life that there hasn't been much room to slow down and to observe and to learn.
如果是这种情况，难怪你会感到脱节。
If this is the case, you know, no wonder you feel disconnected.
当你的神经系统被压力、倦怠、焦虑甚至创伤所劫持时，你的大脑、身体和心智几乎不可能追求成长和扩展。
It's almost impossible for your brain and your body and your mind to pursue growth and expansion when your nervous system has been hijacked by stress, by burnout, by anxiety, maybe even by trauma.
此外，你知道，另一个非常合理的解释是，你完全被当前世界的状况、新闻的现状以及生活的悲剧所压垮了。
Additionally, you know, another very valid explanation is that you're just straight up overwhelmed by the state of the world and the state of the news and the tragedy of life at the moment.
正因如此，当其他一切都在分崩离析，数百万人正在受苦时，你会觉得优先考虑自己或自身福祉没有多大意义。
And because of that, there doesn't feel like there's much worth in prioritizing yourself or your well-being when everything else is falling apart and millions of other people are suffering.
这是一条非常难以跨越的界限。
It's a very difficult line to cross.
你想要保持同理心，但我也恳请你不要陷入这个陷阱——尽管世界感觉如此糟糕——而忽视照顾自己。
You wanna be empathetic, but I also beg you not to fall into this trap, as awful as the world feels, of not taking care of yourself.
照顾自己并与内心深处的自我保持联系并不自私。
It's not selfish to take care of yourself and to feel a connection to the deeper parts of you.
实际上这极其重要。
It's actually incredibly crucial.
只是顺便提一下这一点。
Just as a little side note to mention that.
其次，我们感到与自我有些迷失的第二个解释是，我们只是感到无聊。
Secondly, our second explanation for why we may be feeling a little bit lost from ourselves is that we're just bored.
我们不仅停滞不前，还感到无聊。
Not only are we stuck, we're bored.
正因如此，我们对世界缺乏兴趣，对自己的成长也漠不关心。
And so therefore, we're not very interested in the world, and we're not very interested in our own development.
这种无聊与冷漠有时需要数年时间才会占据主导，你可能直到某个瞬间——就像此刻你正经历的——才意识到自己对生活是多么缺乏兴趣，恍然发觉：我甚至不知道'做自己'是什么感觉了。
Now this boredom and this apathy can sometimes take years to take a hold, and you don't really realize how just simply uninterested in life you are until you have a moment, perhaps like the one you're having right now, where you realize, like, hey, I don't even know what it means to feel like myself anymore.
我连自己是谁都不知道了。
I don't even know who I am.
如果有人问起，我根本不知如何作答。
If someone asked me, I wouldn't know how to answer.
这种现象当然也有个临床名称。
This also, of course, has a bit of a clinical name.
我们称之为抑郁症。
We know it as depression.
不认识自我、对生活失去兴趣、缺乏动力，这些都是轻度或重度抑郁发作的重要征兆、症状和诊断标准。
Feeling like you don't know yourself, feeling uninterested in life, feeling unmotivated is a large sign, symptom, criteria for a diagnosis with a either a minor or a major depressive episode.
如果是这种情况，是的，你仍会从这个播客中有所收获，但去看一位能真正触及你个人问题核心的治疗师可能会让你受益更多。
If that's the case, yes, you will still get something out of this podcast, but you'll probably get more out of seeing a therapist who can really, you know, get to the core of your own individual issues.
所以我鼓励你也去寻求专业帮助。
So I would encourage you to see that out as well.
最后一个解释与你没有按照自己的价值观生活有关，这就是为什么你感觉不像自己。
The final explanation has to do with you are not living a life in line with your values, and that is why you don't feel like yourself.
这一点的重要性远超我们的想象。
This matters so much more than we think.
我们的价值观，虽然——我不清楚你怎么样——
Our values, although we probably I don't know about you.
我并不会每天思考它们。
I don't think about them day to day.
但它们始终存在，是我的指南针。
They are still there and they are my compass.
而如果我们丢弃这个指南针，忽视它的指引，显然会彻底迷失方向。
And if we throw out the compass, if we ignore the compass, we're obviously going to get very, very lost.
如果你真正重视创造力和好奇心，却在生活中做着非常系统化的工作，或者从事一份无法表达自我且没有其他发泄渠道的工作，你当然会感觉不像自己，不是吗？
If you really value creativity and curiosity, and yet you're doing something in your life that is very systems based, or you're working a job that doesn't really allow you to express yourself and you don't have an outlet elsewhere, you're not going to feel like yourself, are you?
如果你热爱户外和冒险，却已经很久没有踏上旅途，情况也是一样。
If you value the outdoors and you value adventure and, you know, it's been a while since you've hit the road, same thing.
我这样解释：就像把动物带离它们的自然栖息地，却指望它们
How I explain this is like taking an animal out of their natural habitat and expecting them
去
to
茁壮成长。
thrive.
让一个人远离自己的价值观，却指望他们保持真我。
Taking a human away from their values and expecting them to feel like themselves.
这永远行不通。
It never works.
当你将自己从反映你价值观的环境或情境中抽离，当你失去践行价值观的机会时，你在心理、精神、情感甚至身体层面都会感到不适。
And when you take yourself out of environments or situations that reflect your values, when you don't have opportunities to live your values, you are not going to feel amazing psychologically or mentally, emotionally, even physically.
这就是对这种感受的三大解释。
So these are the three major explanations for this feeling.
无论你更认同哪一种，或许三者都相关，回归自我的路径其实包含一个简单的过程：a) 记住你在乎什么；b) 记住你喜欢自己什么以及喜欢活着的哪些方面；c) 尽可能多地找到实践这些的方式，让你与最真实、最纯粹、最高版本的自己之间的差距越来越小。
Regardless of which one you relate to more, maybe relate to all of them, The path back to yourself really involves a simple process of a, remembering what you care about, b, remembering what you like about yourself and what you like about being alive, and c, finding ways to practice that as much as you possibly can so that the gap between you and your truest, purest, highest self gets smaller and smaller.
我们来具体聊聊如何做到这一点。
Let's talk about how to do that exactly.
我得说其中一些策略听起来可能有点玄乎，甚至有点开悟的感觉，但我向你保证它们确实有效。
I will say some of these strategies may sound a little bit woo woo, a little bit, you know, enlightened, but I promise you they work.
我向你保证这背后是有科学依据的。
I promise you there is science behind that.
再说了，你又能失去什么呢？
And also, what do you have to lose?
要知道，如果你感到非常迷茫，我想情况不会比这更糟了。
You know, if you're feeling very lost, I don't think it can get worse than that.
这里有个残酷的真相。
And here's a hard truth.
要知道，如果你正处于想要改变的阶段，仅靠空想是不会发生改变的。
You know, if you are at a point of wanting to change, well, that's not just gonna happen by thinking about it.
你必须尝试以前从未做过的事情，尝试那些你认为可能没用但结果会让你惊讶的事情。
You've got to try things that you haven't tried before, and you have to try things that maybe you don't think that will work and be surprised.
那么我们就从第一个练习开始。
So we're gonna start with this first exercise.
若想找回自我，你必须先明确——哪怕只是模糊地——你所说的'自我'究竟指什么。
If you wanna feel like yourself again, you have got to identify, even just loosely, what you mean when you say yourself.
你是谁？
Who are you?
那是什么样子的？
What does that look like?
那是什么样的感觉？
What does that feel like?
那个版本的你会如何行事？
What does that version of you behave behave like?
你需要进行一次身份重新评估。
You have to perform a bit of a identity reevaluation.
实际上有很多方法可以做到这一点。
There's actually heaps of ways to do this.
你很幸运。
You're in luck.
这并不像听起来那么难，但我发现最好的方法是进行所谓的‘身份清单’练习。
And it's not as hard as it sounds, but the best exercise that I found to do this is something that I call the identity inventory.
基本上，它要求你以一种不习惯的方式短暂聚焦于自己，坐下来写出10个短语或词语，反映你身份的不同方面。
And it basically just asks you to really just put a spotlight on yourself for a second in a way that you're not used to, sit down and write out 10 phrases, 10 words that reflect different parts of your identity.
做个清单。
Do an inventory.
这些可以是正式的角色。
These can be formal roles.
比如在你的10个词中，你可以说‘我是一名教师’。
So you could say, of my 10 words, I am a teacher.
我是一名学生。
I am a student.
我是一位母亲。
I am a mother.
随便什么。
Whatever.
个人特质。
Personal traits.
我是个乐观主义者。
I'm an optimist.
我是个内向的人。
I'm an introvert.
热情爱好。
Passions.
我热爱大自然。
I love nature.
我是一名作家。
I'm a writer.
或者可能是关系角色。
Or it could be relational roles.
我是一个朋友。
I'm a friend.
我是一个好女儿。
I'm a good daughter.
可以把它想象成列出你日常生活中扮演的不同角色。
Think of it as, like, listing the different hats that you wear in your everyday life.
这些不同的面向会在不同情境、不同关系中显现，它们共同构成了你的自我认知。
The parts of you that are gonna show up in different situations, in different relationships, and moves that all kind of come together to create your sense of self.
其中有些可能是你渴望实现但尚未达成的目标，你知道它们终将成为你未来的一部分，并且正在为之努力。
Some of these things can also be aspirational, things that you haven't quite achieved yet, but which you know will be in your future and that which, you know, you really want to have happen and that you're working towards.
举个例子，我前几天在写这期节目时做了身份清单，我的列表里就包括播客主这样的身份。
So, for example, I actually did my, identity inventory the other day when I was writing this episode, and my list includes things like podcaster.
这份清单包括作家、外向者、探索者、共情者、姐姐等身份。
It includes things like writer, extrovert, explorer, empath, sister.
当我写下这些词时，是的，它们可能只是文字，但共同构成了一个独特的愿景，一块独特的情绪板，我想，它们拼贴出我的模样，让我更容易活出真实的自我。
And when I write these words down, yes, they might just be words, but altogether, they create kind of a unique a unique vision, a unique kind of, I don't know, a unique board, a unique mood board, I guess, splattering of who I am that makes it easier to live that truth.
比如，有时我会感到与自己的创造力有些疏离，但我知道当我不做创造性的事情时，就会感觉不像自己。
You know, for example, sometimes I feel kind of distanced from the creative side of me, But I know when I'm not doing something creative, I feel less like myself.
所以把这个词列在清单上，迫使我必须承认：既然我这样看待自己，就必须积极表达这一面，并主动培养这方面的特质。
And so having that word on this list forces me to basically acknowledge, like, hey, if this is how I see myself, I also have to actively express this, and I have to actively work on this side of me.
你的身份不仅由文字构成，尽管清单上列的是词语。
Your identity is not just made of words, although there are words on this list.
它由行动构成。
It's made of actions.
它由实践构成。
It's made of doing.
它由行为构成。
It's made of behaviors.
在你的内心深处，你如何看待自己？
At your center, how do you see yourself?
你是谁？
Who are you?
你觉得自己身份的哪些部分是有价值的？
What parts of your identity feel valuable to you?
你在忽视什么？
What are you neglecting?
你如何通过行动来强化那些对你重要的自我认知，同时远离那些可能无法反映你核心支柱或自我认知基础的行为？
How can you act in a way that aligns the part of you that feel important more towards yourself and that distances you from the behaviors that perhaps aren't reflecting this core inventory of pillars or, I guess, the core foundation of of how you see yourself.
其次，虽然明确哪些方面需要更多关爱和优先考虑很重要，但同样重要的是识别那些你只是出于义务感而做的事情。
Secondly, as important as it is to, of course, identify what areas you need to love more or need to prioritize more, it's also important to identify the things that you are doing just because you feel like you have to do them.
这些微小的选择日复一日地侵蚀着我们的自我认知，如果我们不够谨慎的话。
These small choices chip away at our sense of self day after day if we're not careful.
很容易就会说，好吧。
It is so easy to say, okay.
好吧，我会答应工作上的这件事，因为其他人都不愿意做。
Well, I'll say yes to this thing at work because no one else will.
或者我会做这种运动，因为据说对我有好处。
Or I'll do this kind of exercise because it's apparently good for me.
又或者，我会和这个人出去玩，尽管我并不享受这种陪伴，只因为感到一种忠诚感，觉得应该这样做。
Or, you know, I'll hang out with this person even though I really don't enjoy that company because I feel a sense of loyalty, and I should.
我会在领英或社交媒体上发帖，因为这是我应该做的。
I'll post on LinkedIn or social media because that's what I should be doing.
纯粹出于义务而非真正的选择意愿去做事，是一种微妙形式的自我放弃，日积月累会让你越来越偏离那个本应处于核心的指南针。
Doing things purely out of obligation rather than out of an actual sense of choice and a desire to do them is a subtle form of self abandonment that over time accumulates and means that you feel more and more disconnected from that compass that should be at the center.
当我们反复出于'应该'而非真实渴望或个人价值观行事时，我们的自主感会迅速被侵蚀。
When we repeatedly act out of shoulds rather than genuine desire or personal values, our sense of autonomy is very quickly eroded.
这种行为与意愿、真实自我之间的脱节，心理学家称之为'不一致性'。
This disconnect between what we do and what we want to do and who we are, I guess, it's what psychologists call incongruence.
这是我们展现的自我与真实自我之间的错位。
It's a mismatch between the self we project and our true self.
卡尔·罗杰斯提出，他是一位非常著名的心理学家。
Carl Rogers suggested he's a very famous psychologist.
你可能之前听我提到过他。
You've probably heard me mention him before.
正是他认为这种不协调造成了现代人极大的心理困扰。
He was the one who suggested that this incongruence is what creates a great deal of psychological distress in the modern day human.
2016年《动机与情感》期刊的一项研究发现，当参与者被允许按照自己意愿行事时，相比出于压力或愧疚而行动的人，他们在实验结束时普遍感到更快乐——那些能自主选择行为方式的人，其幸福感明显高于被迫履行义务的群体。
There was a 2016 study in the journal motivation and emotion, and it found that when participants were given the opportunity to do something they wanted to, the way they wanted to do it, versus doing something out of pressure or guilt, of course, naturally, they reported being overall more happy at the end of the experiment when they had the choice to guide their own behavior versus those who were made to do something out of obligation.
这不仅仅是他们对实验体验的满意度较低。
It wasn't just that they were less satisfied with their experience in the experiment.
他们对整体生活的满意度也更低。
They were less satisfied about their life in general.
许多人在完成实验后，对实验室之外的生活给出了更为悲观的预期。
A lot of them gave much more pessimistic outlooks about their life, the life that existed beyond the lab, having done that experiment.
因此，这些选择虽然看似无关紧要，但当你持续做不再有益于自己的事情时，久而久之，你确实可能逐渐变得不认识自己。
So those choices, although they might feel quite, I don't know, innocent, over time, when you continuously do things that no longer serve you, you do risk becoming a bit of a stranger to yourself.
我认为现在也是指出另一个核心观点的好时机。
I think it's also the right time to point out another central point here.
有时候回归自我并不在于往你的盘子里添加更多东西。
Sometimes getting back to yourself isn't about adding more to your plate.
不在于给你的生活增添更多，而在于思考你可以减去什么。
It isn't about adding more to your life, but thinking about what you can subtract.
想象一下，如果我们能更自私一点，学会拒绝，只在真心愿意时才答应，那我们能为自己腾出多少时间。
Imagine how much time we would have for ourselves if we were a bit more selfish and just said no more, and we said, yes, only only when we really wanted to.
这对我们中的一些人来说是个疯狂的想法，特别是如果你是个讨好型人格的人，特别是如果你对家人朋友有着根深蒂固的责任感，特别是如果你认为答应会让你更成功而拒绝会让你难以相处。
It's a wild thought for some of us, especially if you're a people pleaser, especially if you have a really ingrained sense of obligation to family or to friends, especially if you think that saying yes will make you more successful and saying no will make you a pill to work with.
但当你不断妥协答应时，真正受益的是谁？
But who benefits from you continuously saying yes when you don't want to?
谁从中得到了好处？
Who is getting something out of that?
因为那个人肯定不是你。
Because it's not you.
那是别人。
It's someone else.
是其他人。
It's other people.
是整个社会，随便你怎么称呼它。
It's society at large, whatever you wanna call it.
但这个决定并没有让你受益。
But you are not being served by that decision.
我今天要分享的第三个建议更像是一个日常练习，也是我个人一直在做的。
My third tip for us today is more of a daily exercise, and it's one that I personally do.
我之前在播客中提到过这一点。
I have spoken about it on the podcast before.
在回归自我的旅程中，每天为接下来的24小时设定与你想要达成的目标相关的意图，这非常有价值。
In your journey back to yourself, it is so valuable to set intentions for your day every single day that relate to what you wanna get out of that next twenty four hours.
让我解释一下这背后的理念。
Let me explain the premise behind this.
最近你可能看过一个TikTok视频，有个女孩说她每天醒来第一件事就是向宇宙发问：让我看看今天能有多美好。
So recently, you may have seen a TikTok of a girl who basically said that every day, the moment she wakes up, she asks the universe, show me how good it can get.
让我看看生活能有多精彩。
Show me how good it can be.
她这样做之后，几乎每天结束时都会记录，
And when she does that, she reports almost every day at the end of the day.
回顾一天的经历，发现自己度过了最不可思议的二十四小时。
She reflects back and she's had, like, the most amazing twenty four hours.
原因在于，你对处境和生活的想法决定了你如何看待机遇、好日子和坏日子，
The reason why is that your thoughts about your situation and your life shape how you view opportunities, how you view good days, how you view bad days.
它们塑造你的行为方式，进而塑造你的现实。
They shape how you behave, which in turn shapes your reality.
我们可以通过设定自我导向的意图，做同样的练习来重新连接自我。
We can do this same exercise, this same thing to reconnect with ourselves by setting self directed intentions.
比如今天，我只去那些能让我感到快乐的地方。
Like, today, I'm gonna go only where I feel I can find joy.
今天，我要真正倾听自己的内心。
Today, I'm going to really listen to myself.
今天，我要学会比答应更多地说不。
Today, I'm gonna say no more than I say yes.
今天，我要让宇宙指引我该去往何方。
Today, I'm gonna let the universe show me where I need to be.
我知道今天会是美好的一天。
I know I'm gonna have a great day.
我会对生活充满热情。
I'm going to be excited by life.
今天将会非常精彩。
Today is going to be excellent.
我会感觉棒极了。
I'm gonna feel amazing.
这些只是你可以设定的一些积极宣言或意图的例子。
Those are just some examples of those affirmations or intentions that you can set.
从心理学角度来说，这还涉及到一个叫做'启动效应'的概念。
Psychologically, this also taps into a concept called priming.
这个理念是指，当我们特别在情绪可塑性很强的时候（比如一天刚开始时），我们所关注的事物会塑造我们如何解读周围的世界。
This is the idea that when we well, well, that what we focus on, especially when our mood is really malleable, like at the start of the day, that can shape how we interpret the world around us.
两个人可能经历完全相同的处境。
Two people can be experiencing the exact same situations.
但如果其中一人抱着'只参与与自己契合的事物'的意图，而另一人没有这种意图，他们结束一天时的状态会截然不同。
But if one of them has an intention that they're gonna only engage with things that align with them and the other person doesn't have an intention like that, how they finish the day is going to be very different.
所以基本上，设定每日意图会改变你的认知过滤器。
So, basically, setting a daily intention shifts your cognitive filters.
你不会只看到糟糕的事物。
You don't see everything that sucks.
你会专注于可以拓展的领域。
You focus on the areas where you can expand.
你会聚焦于你想要关注的、让你感觉良好、让你更接近真实自我的领域。
You focus on the areas that you want to and the areas that make you feel good and that you that make you feel more like yourself.
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因此，世界确实开始反映你想看到的事物，而由于你变得更加有意识，你也能更贴近自己真正的需求。
So the world does start to reflect what you wanna see, and because you're being more intentional, you also get to be more in touch with what you actually want.
因为只有当你首先对某种结果怀有渴望时，你才能真正表达或设定意图，这反过来意味着你必须拥有更好的沟通能力，更能倾听内心的渴望。
Because that's the only way that you can actually express or set an intention is if you have a desire for a certain outcome in the first place, which as a consequence means you have to feel you have to have better communication and be better able to listen to your internal desires.
这是我们的起点。
This is our starting point.
我知道所有这些建议都非常——我想说——基于思考，是思维练习，思维活动。
And I know all of these tips have been very, I guess, like, thought based, thought based exercises, thought based activities.
到此为止。
Enough of that.
我们结束了。
We're done.
我们完成这部分了。
We're done with that.
我们完成了思考环节。
We're done with the thinking component.
我们要转向行动部分了。
We're gonna move on to the doing component.
我们要进入本期节目最有趣的部分了。
We're gonna move on to the fun side of this episode.
如果你想了解一些现在、立刻、未来24小时或7天内就能实践且不会感觉像苦差事的实用方法，请继续收听。
So if you want some practical things that you can do right now, right at this moment, in the next twenty four hours, in the next seven days that aren't gonna feel like a chore, stay with us.
短暂休息后，我们将详细讨论这些内容以及更多精彩话题。
We're gonna talk about all of that and so much more after this short break.
你好。
Hi.
我是普里扬卡·沃利医生。
I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.
我是哈里·昆达布格鲁。
And I'm Hari Kundaboglu.
在我们的新播客《健康那些事》中我们会为你解答所有健康疑问的谜题。
On our new podcast, Health Stuff, we demystify your burning health questions.
你会听到我们对自己健康状况的完全坦诚。
You'll hear us being completely honest about our own health.
我现在在谈论非常严肃的事情，而你却在笑我。
I'm talking about very serious stuff right now, and you're laughing at me.
你还会听到专家们想让医疗更人性化的真诚建议和个人故事。
And you'll hear candid advice and personal stories from experts who wanna make health care more human.
有时你需要在场倾听、理解、共情，或许帮他们理清状况或给问题命名。
Sometimes you're there to listen, to understand, to empathize, maybe to give them an understanding or a name for what's going on.
这对人们帮助很大，让他们明白这并非只是心理作用。
That helps people a lot, understanding that it's not just in their head.
我们将解析科学原理，与专家对话，并分享你能实际运用的日常健康建议。
We are breaking down the science, talking with experts, and sharing practical health tips you can actually use in your day to day life.
从何时利用及避免人造光线，到如何改善睡眠质量。
From when to utilize and avoid artificial light to how to sleep better.
关于纤维素的全部知识，以及如何更顺畅排便。
Everything you need to know about fiber and how to poop better.
如何减轻时差的影响，以及如何在困境中保持希望。
How to minimize the effects of jet lag and how to stay hopeful in times of distress.
我们人类，最渴望的就是连接。
We human beings, all we want is connection.
我们只想彼此相连。
We just wanna connect with each other.
我们想让健康话题不再那么令人困惑，甚至增添些许趣味。
We wanna make health less confusing and maybe even a little fun.
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的地方，寻找健康相关内容。
Find health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯。
I'm Robert Smith.
这位是雅各布·戈尔茨坦。
And this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾主持过一档名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业历史》的新播客，讲述历史上最伟大的创意、人物和企业。
And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.
也包括一些最恶劣的人物、可怕的想法和具有破坏性的公司
And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies
在商业史上的种种案例。
in the history of business.
拥有一个天才创意却没有需求是毫无意义的。
Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing.
这就像根本没有这个创意一样。
It's like not having it at all.
这是一个
It's a
非常简单而优雅的教训。
very simple, elegant lesson.
要创造人们真正需要的东西。
Make something people want.
第一期节目，讲述西南航空如何凭借廉价机票和免费威士忌在航空业杀出一条血路。
First episode, how Southwest Airlines use cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.
这简直是最具德州特色的故事了。
The most Texas story ever.
这个故事里有很多特立独行的人物。
There's a lot of mavericks in that story.
我们节目会邀请这些特立独行者做客。
We're gonna have mavericks on the show.
还会有不少强盗大亨登场。
We're gonna have plenty of robber barons.
强盗大亨多得很呢。
So many robber barons.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
他们并非全都那么坏。
They're not all bad.
我们将探讨一些著名商业天才的经典伟大时刻
And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses
同时也会涉及那些常被忽视的黑暗时刻，比如托马斯·爱迪生与电椅的故事
along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked, like Thomas Edison and the electric chair.
收听商业历史
Listen to business history
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
当五十年代的好莱坞、一位怀揣梦想的古巴音乐家和史上最具标志性的情景喜剧相遇，会产生什么？
What do you get when you mix nineteen fifties Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time?
你会看到迪西·阿内斯——一位开拓者、商人、丈夫，或许最重要的是，首位打破黄金时段壁垒的拉丁裔明星
You get Desi Arness, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband, and maybe most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open.
我是威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛，没错，我和你们及数百万观众一样是看着他的节目长大的
I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and yes, I grew up watching him, probably just like you and millions of others.
但对我而言，我在他的故事中看到了自己的影子
But for me, I saw myself in his story.
从种植金丝雀笼到今晚在纽约的这一刻，这是一段漫长的旅程。
From planting canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways.
在这档由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛主演的播客中，我将带你走进德西的人生旅程，那些与我们生命交叠的瞬间，他如何重新定义了美国电视，以及这对我们这些在荧幕外等待看到相似面孔的观众意味着什么。
On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take you on a journey to Desi's life, the moments he has overlapped with mine, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like ours on screen.
这是一个关于一个人如何用他的聚光灯为众多后来者照亮道路，以及我们今日如何传承他遗产的故事。
This is the story of how one man spotlight lit the path for so many others and how we carry his legacy today.
请收听由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛主演的节目，作为My Cultura播客网络的一部分，可在iHeart Radio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听。
Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
嘿，你好。
Hey there.
医生。
Doctor.
我是杰西·米尔斯。
Jesse Mills here.
我是UCLA健康男性诊所的主任，我想告诉你
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health, and I wanna tell you
关于我的新播客《收发室》。
about my new podcast called The Mailroom.
我是乔丹，这档节目的制作人。
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
和许多男性一样，我已经多年没去看医生了。
And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years.
我会提出那些我们本该问却未曾开口的问题。
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking but aren't.
因为男人们通常只有在脸皮快掉下来或骨折时才会去看医生。
Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone.
那得看是哪根骨头。
Depends which bone.
哇。
Wow.
确实如此。
That's true.
每周我们都会剖析男性健康领域的独特话题，从睾酮水平、健身到饮食、生育能力，以及卧室里发生的那些事。
Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom.
你是指睡觉吗？
You mean sleep?
是啊。
Yeah.
差不多吧，乔丹。
Something like that, Jordan.
我们将用通俗语言探讨科学，为你真正好奇的问题提供实际答案。
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
这会很有趣，无论你是27岁、97岁，还是介于两者之间。
It's gonna be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between.
男性健康远不止六块腹肌和营养补充剂。
Men's health is about more than six packs and supplements.
它关乎精力、自信和人际关系。
It's about energy, confidence, and connection.
我们不仅希望你活得更久。
We don't just want you to live longer.
我们希望你活得更好。
We want you to live better.
所以请在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你获取喜爱节目的任何平台查看邮件室。
So check out the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
有句俗话说，或许你听过，你如何度过每一天就将如何度过一生。
So there is this common saying, perhaps you've heard of it, how you spend your days is how you will spend your life.
你如何度过每一天也将决定你对自己的感受。
How you spend your days will also determine how you feel about yourself.
如果你每天——我不知道——粘着手机，或者周末也基本做着同样的事，你会感到非常单一，因为你所做的只是被动消费或被动遵循别人为你设定的例行公事。
Spend your days, I don't know, glued to your phone or, you know, your weekends kinda doing the same thing, you're gonna feel very one dimensional because all you're doing is passively consuming or passively kind of following a routine that was laid out for you.
如果你用同样的时间去创造、探索、追求目标、观察世界，那么作为世界的一部分，你会感到更广阔，嗯，我想就是更丰富。
If you spend that same time making things, exploring, pursuing goals, looking up at the world, I guess, therefore, you, as a part of the world, is going to feel more expansive and, well, I guess, just rich.
丰富的体验。
Rich and experience.
不仅仅是思维练习能让你找回自我。
It's not just thinking exercises that are gonna get you back to yourself.
经历体验同样也能为你做到这一点。
Experiences are gonna do the same for you as well.
从你的周末开始改变吧。
Starting with your weekends.
我认为我们许多人的典型周末是这样的。
Here is how I think a typical weekend goes for m for many of us, you know.
周六睡懒觉，可能见个朋友，晚上出去喝一杯或做点别的。
Saturday, you sleep in, maybe you see a friend, then maybe you, like, go out drinking or, like, you do something in the evening.
到了周日，因为前一周的疲惫（这很正常）加上前一晚的消耗，你基本什么也不想做。
And then Sunday, you know, you're so tired from the week before, understandably, and also maybe from the night before that you don't really do anything.
可能随便做点家务，然后就被周日焦虑笼罩，就这样。
Maybe you, like, do some chores, then the Sunday scaries hit, and, like, that's it.
转眼又到周一了。
It's Monday again.
通常每个周末都是同样的套路，然后周末就结束了。
Typically, it is the same stuff every weekend, and then it's over.
难怪我们会感到如此脱节，因为你实际上没有任何可以连接的事物，在闲暇时光里也没有任何期待。
No wonder we feel so disconnected because you have nothing to actually connect to, nothing to look forward to in your free time.
所以下面就是如何重新规划你的周末。
So here is how you are going to reprogram your weekend.
首先，你要选择周末中的一天，把它变成'应该事项'豁免日。
Firstly, you are going to choose one day of your weekend, and it's going to be a should free day.
不。
No.
我不应该想着'我得做家务'。
I should do my chores.
我不应该想着'我得去健身房'。
I should go to the gym.
我不应该想着'我得见这个人'。
I should see this person.
这些统统都不要。
None of that.
这一天是为你自己准备的。
This day is for you.
你要去你双脚想去的地方，去你内心向往之处。
You are going to go where your feet want to go, where your heart wants to go.
这一整天你唯一'应该'做的，就是走出家门，去做些平常不会做的事。
Your only should for that whole day is to get out of the house and do something that you normally wouldn't.
就这么简单。
That's it.
离开家门。
Leave the house.
去体验日常之外的新鲜事物。
Experience something other than your day to day.
这就是你唯一'应该'做的事。
That is your only should.
这之所以如此重要，是因为那些我们发自内心想要尝试的新奇体验，能够刺激大脑的奖赏中枢，不仅带来一种开阔感，更能增强我们对新事物的开放态度。
The reason this is so important is because new and novel experiences that we feel intrinsically motivated to perform stimulate the brain's reward centers and promote a sense of expansion, but also openness to new experiences.
我认为，这同时也给了你喘息的空间，让你能真正活在当下——这种状态在你埋头工作、陷入日常琐事的单调循环时往往是难以企及的。
I think as well, you just give yourself the space to breathe and to be present in the moment that is perhaps not available to you when you're working, when you're stuck in, like, the monotony of the day to day.
当你真正以开放的心态看待周末，希望它们成为让你人生更丰盈的日子时，你就能获得更多感受幸福与喜悦的机会，由衷觉得'这才是美好的生活，这才是美妙的感受'。
When you actually have an open perspective and an open mind towards your weekends and you want them to be expansive days for you, you have more opportunities for happiness and to feel joy and to feel like, hey, this is a good life and this is a good feeling.
当你处于这种放松且接纳新体验的状态时，你的神经系统也会接收到安全信号：一切安好，可以暂时松弛下来。正是在这种脱离生存模式、不再被紧迫感和忙碌感淹没的时刻，你才能更清晰地听见内心真实自我的呼唤。
And when you feel that way, when you feel relaxed and open to new experiences, that also signals your nervous system that it's safe, all is calm, you relax for a second, and that's when you can really heal hear, like, the call of your true self better, when you're no longer in survival mode, when you're no longer kind of crowded out by urgency and busyness.
与此同时，我希望你列一份心愿清单。
Alongside this, I want you to create a bucket list.
是的，我们之前讨论过这个。
And, yes, we have talked about this before.
知道为什么它在好几期节目里都被提及吗？
And you know why it's come up in a few episodes?
因为作为成年人，拥有纯粹的期待与目标——那些唯一目的就是让你开心的志向——实在是重要得不得了。
It's because it is so darn important as an adult to have things to look forward to and to have ambitions that have absolutely no purpose other than that they make you happy.
还记得我们小时候会列暑假愿望清单吗？比如开个睡衣派对、做棉花糖夹心饼、去游乐园玩、摆柠檬水摊。
You know, remember when we were a kid and we would, like, make our summer bucket list and it would be like, have a sleepover, like, make s'mores, go to the amusement park, lemonade stand.
我们这些二三十岁甚至更年长的人，需要重新找回这些乐趣。
Like, we need to bring those back as people in our twenties and thirties and beyond.
我们需要重拾冒险精神。
We need to bring back adventure.
这也意味着当你遇到那种'唉，不知道做什么好'的日子时。
Also, it means that when you have one of those days of being like, ugh, I don't know what to do.
我不喜欢感到无聊，但又想做点什么。
I don't like, I feel bored, but I wanna do something.
与其浪费时间思考选什么好玩的事情，或者到处搜寻灵感，不如直接准备好你的清单。
Instead of just, like, wasting your time thinking about which fun thing to pick or trying to search up and find or seek out inspiration, like, have your list.
你有你的愿望清单。
You have your bucket list.
你完全不必浪费任何时间。
You don't have to waste any time.
你走出去，创造新的回忆。
You go out and you make new memories.
在这些时刻里，你能在不同的空间、不同的环境、不同的情境中看到自己，可以说是在工作中认识真实的自我。
And in those moments, you get to see yourself in different spaces, different environments, different situations, learning kind of who you are on the job, I guess.
我现在愿望清单上有一件事，就是这周晚些时候在芝加哥时，我打算完成十二小时步行挑战。
One thing on my bucket list right now, that I think I'm gonna do when I'm in Chicago later this week is the twelve hour walk challenge.
这里有个支线任务。
Side quest here.
我最近读了这本书。
I recently read this book.
书名其实很贴切，叫《十二小时徒步》。
It is called, actually, very aptly, The Twelve Hour Walk.
书中作者是一位专业耐力运动员。
And in it, the author, he is a professional endurance athlete.
他谈到这个他认为我们都应该尝试的个人实验：当我们感到与自我脱节、有些迷失时，你需要承诺独自连续行走十二小时，全程保持沉默，只带着你的思绪穿越你所在的城市或任何地方的城市。
He talks about this personal experiment that he thinks we should all do, where when we are feeling disconnected from ourselves, when we are feeling a bit lost, you need to commit to walking for twelve hours straight alone and in silence with nothing but your thoughts through your city or through a city, wherever you are.
在这十二小时期间，你想停多少次都可以。
And during this twelve hour period, you can stop as much as you want.
你可以休息。
You can take breaks.
你可以坐下。
You can sit down.
你完全可以走一小时，然后在公园里坐满剩下的十一小时。
You could literally walk for an hour and then, like, sit in a park for the rest of the eleven hours.
但不能玩手机。
But you can't be on your phone.
不能听音乐。
You can't listen to music.
你必须只与自己的思绪为伴。
You have to just be with your thoughts.
当然，没错，你可以坐满十一小时。
And obviously, yes, you can sit for eleven hours.
关键在于你通常不会这么做。
The idea is that you don't typically do that.
他希望你能持续行走，不断向前。
He wants you to keep walking and keep moving forward.
他认为这是一种非常简单的精神重置方式，因为你必须面对内心的恐惧与疑虑，独自与思绪相处，并更细致地观察这个世界——这些在我们日常生活中往往难以做到。
And he argues that this is a really easy way to reset, I guess, your spirit because you have to face so many internal fears and doubts and be alone with your thoughts and notice more about the world that we are kind of unable to do on our day to day and in our day to day life.
再者，这也是一次冒险。
It's also just, again, an adventure.
显然，完成这段步行后，人们会感到一种强烈的目标感和方向感。
So people apparently, like, finish this walk feeling like an immense sense of purpose, an immense sense of direction.
据说这种体验非常深刻。
It's apparently very profound.
所以我打算尝试一下，之后会分享感受。
So I'm gonna try it, and I will report back.
如果你觉得这个想法很鼓舞人心，我认为你也应该试试。
I think you should also try it if you're feeling that that that's an inspiring idea to you.
如果你觉得这听起来像件有趣、值得尝试的事，那就去做吧。
If you have, like, have any sense that that seems like something fun that you should do, you should do it.
显然，十二小时徒步需要独自完成，但你的愿望清单上可能有很多事更适合与人同行。
Obviously, the twelve hour walk is something that you have to do alone, but there are probably a lot of things on your bucket list that would be better with other people.
是的，虽然独处对重新连接自我至关重要，但若你感到疏离，请不要因此继续疏远朋友或自我封闭。
And, yes, whilst spending time alone is vital for reconnecting with yourself, if you feel disconnected, please don't allow that to make you withdraw from your friends anymore or self isolate.
我理解当我们感到无聊、生活陷入停滞、自尊心受挫时的感受。
I get it when we feel bored, when we feel stuck in our lives, when our self esteem is deflated.
有时候你最不愿做的就是刻意在朋友面前掩饰这种状态。
Sometimes the last thing you wanna do is cons is, like, have to conceal that actively from your friends.
你最不愿做的就是社交。
The last thing you wanna do is be social.
当我们面临身份认同危机或感觉不像自己时，社交回避是种非常常见的应对机制。
Social withdrawal is a very common coping mechanism when we're dealing with a sense of identity disruption or when we're not feeling like ourselves.
这既因为保持社交状态需要耗费精力，也因为我们误以为更多独处时间自然意味着更多找回自我的机会。
Often because it takes a lot of effort to be socially present, but also because we think more time alone automatically means more time to find ourselves.
实际上恰恰相反。
It's actually quite the opposite.
这往往会导致抑郁症状进一步加剧，孤独感进一步放大，不满情绪进一步恶化。
It often results in a further exaggeration of depressive symptoms, a further exaggeration of loneliness, a further exaggeration of dissatisfaction.
这种奇怪的行为确实能让我们当下感觉稍微好受些，但实际上往往会让我们的情况变得更糟。
It's this weird behavior that does make us feel a little bit okay at the moment, but actually often ends up worsening our our situation.
虽然我非常清楚这种冲动很难抗拒，尤其是当它与心理健康问题相关时——但当你发现自己正滑向这种自我孤立、社交退缩的模式时，我希望你能记住这项特别研究的结果。
Whilst I'm very aware that this urge can be very hard to fight, especially if it's connected with a mental health disorder, when you feel yourself slipping into this self isolation social withdrawal pattern, I want you to remember the findings of this particular study.
这项研究发表于2014年，标题为《误寻孤独》。
The study is from 2014, and it's titled mistakenly seeking solitude.
研究中，这些学者观察了上千名个体的经历：当他们获得与他人互动的机会时，要么被鼓励融入情境，要么被告知可以随心所欲选择。
And in it, these researchers looked at the experiences of over a thousand individuals who, when they were given the opportunity to engage with another person, were either encouraged to lean into the situation, or they were told that they could do whatever they wanted to.
也就是说他们可以选择参与互动，也可以选择不参与。
So they could engage or they could not engage.
基本上在第二种情境中，这完全取决于他们自己。
It was up to them, basically, in the second situation.
研究发现，那些被鼓励与他人交谈、共处并互动的人，尽管最初许多人认为这会很麻烦，但他们报告了更高程度的连接感和积极情绪，离开时感觉更快乐。
What they found was that those who were encouraged to talk to someone, who were encouraged to sit with them, to engage with them, they reported much higher levels of connection, positive mood, and they left feeling happier despite the fact that initially, a lot of them thought it was gonna be a hassle.
实际上，他们中许多人最初并不想与面前这个人互动。
A lot of them didn't actually want to engage with this other person in front of them.
他们原以为这会让心情更糟。
They thought it was gonna make their mood worse.
事实恰恰相反。
The opposite was the case.
与他人互动，即使感觉可能会令人烦躁，最终往往让我们感觉更好。
Interacting with others, even if it feels like it's gonna be agitating, often ends up making us feel better.
所以如果你想感觉更融洽，是时候重新见见朋友们了。
So if you want to feel more aligned, it is time to start seeing your friends again.
是时候开始计划有趣的出游了。
It is time to start planning fun outings.
是时候认识你的邻居了。
It is time to know your neighbors.
如果你真的想更进一步，有时间的话，现在就该开始参与志愿服务了。
And if you really wanna go one step further, if you have time, it's time to start volunteering.
真的，如果你感到与自我脱节，志愿服务是让你重拾那个你尊重并欣赏的自我版本的极简途径。
You really like, if you feel disconnected to yourself, volunteering is a very easy way to get back to that version of you, who you respect and who you enjoy.
这话听起来可能有些反直觉，但时刻只想着自己反而会让你越来越不喜欢自己。
This might sound controversial, but thinking about yourself all the time is probably making you like yourself a lot less.
这种现象被称为'自我沉浸悖论'。
It's this thing called the self absorption paradox.
更高程度的自我关注和自我觉察实际上会加剧心理困扰。
Higher levels of self focus and self awareness can actually increase levels of psychological distress.
你越是试图连接自我，越是剖析自己的行为，花越多时间独处沉思，实际上你会越不快乐。
The more you try to connect with yourself, the more you try to investigate your behavior, the more use time you spend with your thoughts and your thoughts alone, the less happy you're actually gonna be.
这就是我去年亲身经历的状况。
You know, this is the situation that I found myself in last year.
我当时花了大量时间反复纠结：好吧...
I spent so much time being like, alright.
我就打算坐在家里，思考我的处境，审视我的行为。
I'm just gonna sit at home, I'm just gonna think about my situation, and I'm just gonna examine my behavior.
只要我想得够多，就能找到一个合理的解释让这一切都过去。
And if I think about it enough, I will come up with a reasonable explanation that will make this all go away.
当我决定把原本放在自己身上的注意力转向那些需要我、比我更重要的事物和人时，我感觉好多了。
The moment that I decided to just instead direct that attention that I was putting on myself towards something and someone who needed me and that was bigger than me, the better I felt.
对我来说，那就是做动物志愿者工作。
For me, that was volunteering with animals.
我开始寄养狗狗。
I started fostering dogs.
我开始为当地动物收容所做救援运输，基本上就是把车里装满来自安乐死收容所的狗，开车把它们送到其他州或没有安乐死的地区。
I started doing rescue runs for local animal shelters where you basically fill your car full of dogs, that dogs that are from kill shelters, you drive them across state lines or to other areas that aren't kill shelters.
在这些时刻，我感觉比很长一段时间以来都更像我自己，因为焦点不在我身上。
And in those moments, I felt more like myself than I had felt in a while, because the focus wasn't on me.
而是在那些比我更需要关注的生命身上。
It was on someone who needed that attention more than I definitely did.
为他人做点事情。
Doing something for others.
这非常重要，也非常有价值。
It's so important, and it's so valuable.
我认为作为一个社会，我们常常忽视这一点，尤其是在被教导要非常个人主义、非常以自我为中心的时候。
And I think as a society, it's something that we often neglect, especially when we are, you know, told to be very individual individualistic and told to be very self focused.
但我知道这听起来会有些讽刺。
But I know this is gonna sound ironic.
对于最后这个建议，尽管刚才讲了那么多关于为他人付出的内容，我实际上要再次把注意力转回到我们自己身上。
For this final tip, I am actually gonna redirect the attention back onto ourselves once more despite that whole speech about, you know, doing more for others.
我知道这很讽刺，但我确实认为这最后一个建议同样重要，值得提及。
I know it's ironic, but I do think that this final tip is equally important and bears mentioning.
如果你想重新找回自我，就需要为自己设定一个与职业身份无关、与外部认可无关、与出人头地之类无关的大目标。
If you want to feel more like yourself again, you need to set a big goal for yourself that has nothing to do with your professional identity, nothing to do with external validation, nothing to do with getting ahead or anything like that.
我想说的是，我们每个人都应该拥有某种目标，这很重要。
What I mean to say is that it is important that each of us has some kind of a goal.
是的。
Yes.
我们或许有一个更显眼的宏大目标，但同样重要的是，我们还需要一个私人的目标，一个我们想要默默实现、日复一日为之努力的目标。
We may have a broader goal that is very visible, but it's also important that we have a private goal that we want to accomplish, that we wanna meaningfully work towards silently day in and day out.
设定一个深具个人色彩、不追求表现的目标，一个不受社会或职业认可束缚的目标，能真正修复破碎的自我认知，因为它让你与内在的自我产生联结。
Setting a deeply personal non performative goal, one that is detached from social or professional approval, can really restore a fragmented sense of self because it engages you with your intrinsic self.
当我们纯粹为了掌握、表达或行为本身的乐趣去追求某件事时，我们便重新获得了对时间、身份和行动的自主权。
When we pursue something for the sheer joy of mastery or expression or the joy of of the behavior, when we do that, we reestablish autonomy over our time, over our identity, over our actions.
这是一种自为目的的行为，本质上是一种为行为本身而投入的行为状态。
This is a form of autotelic behavior, which is basically a kind of behavior that engages with the flow of the behavior for its own sake.
这确实能滋养我们内心的指南针。
It's something that really nourishes our own internal compass.
它让我们真正理解自己的所求所爱，并培养一种称为‘自我整合’的能力。
It's something that really allows us to understand what we want, what we care about, and it fosters something called self integration.
简而言之，自我整合意味着日积月累中，我们的行为越来越接近理想中的自己，直到我们感觉成为了更通透、更高阶的自我版本。
Basically, self integration means that day by day, our behaviors align more with who we wanna be until we feel like we are a more enlightened, higher version of ourselves.
我认为这最终还能建立起你对自己的信任。
I think also the ultimate goal of this is that it builds trust in yourself as well.
当我们与自我疏离、不知自己是谁时，往往既不相信自己能找回本真，也不相信自己本身。
Often when we feel detached from who we are and we don't know who we are, we don't trust ourselves to get back there, and we don't trust ourselves in general.
我们不相信自己有能力达成所愿。
We don't think that we are capable of achieving what we want to achieve.
我们不相信自己能找回本心。
We don't think we're capable of getting back to ourselves.
我们不相信自己能处理好这个问题或任何问题。
We don't trust that we can take care of this problem or any problem for that matter.
但当你设定目标并默默为之努力，只为自己而活时，你就在无声地告诉自己：我们有能力追求在意的事物。
But when you set a goal and you work for it just invisibly, just in your own life, just for your own sake, you silently say to yourself, hey, we are able to go after things that we care about.
我们有能力实现珍视的目标。
We are able to achieve things that we care about.
你可以信任自己。
You can trust yourself.
你可以相信自己会信守承诺。
You can trust that you are going to be true to your word.
这里有一些例子，因为我知道有时候很难想到这些。
Here are some examples, because I know sometimes they're hard to think of.
写一本无人知晓你在创作的小说，为独自徒步旅行进行训练，从零开始打造阳台花园只因为心血来潮，创作永远不会发表、出售或上传网络的艺术品——这些都是绝佳的例子。
Writing a novel that no one knows you're working on, training for a solo hiking trip, growing like a balcony garden just from scratch, just because you kind of want to, Creating art that you're never gonna post anywhere, you're never gonna sell, you're never going to put online is another amazing one.
这些活动真正让我们与自我建立连接，使我们脑海中的自我认知与实际行动保持一致。
These activities, you know, really connect us with ourselves, and they bring our idea of ourself, the one that we have in our mind, in line with how we're acting and how we're behaving.
我认为我们都能从挑战中受益。
I think we could all benefit from a challenge as well.
你上次挑战自己是什么时候？
You know, when was the last time you challenged yourself?
此时此刻，当你对自我产生诸多疑问时，正是绝佳的机会。
This right here, this moment where you're questioning a lot about who you are, is a great opportunity.
再说一次，你有什么可失去的呢？
Again, what do you have to lose?
你能收获的远不止于此。
There's so much more that you can gain.
这些新体验是重新找回自我的绝佳途径，即便旅程初期你可能如同盲人摸象。
And these new experiences are just a really amazing way to kind of find the path back to yourself even if you are kind of blind for the first part of the journey.
只管去做，将自己置于有机会自我发现的环境中，即使你感到些许不确定，这确实是度过此阶段的唯一方法。
Just doing things, putting yourself in spaces where there there is the opportunity for self discovery, even if you feel a bit unsure, is really the only way to get through this.
在结束本期节目之际，我想说，是的，所有这些建议都很重要。
So as we wrap up this episode, I just wanna say, yes, all these tips are important.
我相信它们会对你有所帮助。
I'm sure that they will be helpful.
我希望它们能帮到你，但请对自己温柔些。
I hope they will be helpful, but just have some grace with yourself.
有许多人与你同行。
There are a lot of people in this with you.
世界上有许多人有着相似的感受，他们不知道自己是谁，因为我认为现代社会和文化让我们很难有时间与自己相处，关注自己的需求和渴望，而非那些'应该'做的事。
There are a lot of people in this world who feel very similar and don't know who they are, because I think modern society and modern culture has made it very hard to spend time with ourselves and to spend time on our wants and our needs and not our shoulds.
我认为这正是这种脱节感的根源所在。
I think that's where this disconnect really comes from.
我们确实难以聆听到内心深处那个能与自我对话、告诉我们真正渴望的声音。
We can't really hear the internal voice that's within all of us that is able to communicate with us and tell us what we want.
这种感受会从情感上、心理上和精神上全方位地影响我们。
And we feel that emotionally, and we're feeling that mentally and psychologically.
任何能让你摆脱他人期待、打破常规或僵化思维模式的活动，将你带入充满新奇的领域，都显得格外明亮动人，无比美妙。
So any kind of activity that just takes you out of what you think is expected from you or takes you out of your routine or a stagnant mindset, and then just into a new space of novelty, like, that is particularly luminous, and it's particularly incredible.
我真心相信这会对你有帮助。
And I really do think it will help you out.
在此送上我满满的关爱与同理心。
So I'm sending you a lot of love and a lot of empathy.
我深知此刻迷茫不知自我定位的艰难，但回归之路一定存在。
I know how difficult it can be to not know who you are right now, but there is definitely a way back.
如果你自己从中受益，请将这期节目分享给其他可能也需要的人。
Send this episode to someone else who you think might benefit from it, if you yourself benefited from it.
请确保在Instagram上关注我们，账号是that psychology podcast，并在你收听的平台给播客打五星好评。
Make sure that you are following us on Instagram at that psychology podcast, and leave the podcast a five star review wherever you are listening.
特别是在苹果播客上，如果你正在用苹果设备收听并愿意留下简短评价，这对我们帮助极大，能让节目成长并触达更多听众——尤其是当你觉得本期或其他节目有价值时。
Particularly on Apple, if you wanna leave if you are listening on Apple and you wanna leave a little review, those really, really benefit us and help the show grow and reach new people, especially if you feel like there was value in this episode or any others.
嗯。
Yeah.
我诚挚地请求你考虑一下。
I very kindly ask that you consider it.
另外，我的书仍在售，我会在描述中留下链接。
Also, my book is still available, and I will leave a link in the description.
记得也去看看这本书。
Make sure you check that out as well.
但下次见面前，注意安全，保持善良，对自己温柔些，我们很快会再聊的。
But until next time, stay safe, be kind, be gentle with yourself, and we will talk very, very soon.
在本周的《下一章》节目中，我——TD Jakes，将与两度获得奥斯卡奖的演员兼文化偶像丹泽尔·华盛顿对谈。
On this week's episode of Next Chapter, I, TD Jakes, sit down with Denzel Washington, a two time Academy Award winning actor and cultural icon.
我对此不居功。
I don't take any credit for it.
我只是没有把自己放在第一位。
I just didn't put me first.
我只是把上帝放在首位，是他在引领我。
I just put God first, and he's carrying me.
请在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你获取播客的任何平台收听《下一章》播客节目。
Listen to the next chapter podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
新剧集每周更新。
New episodes drop weekly.
你好。
Hi.
我是普里扬卡·沃利医生。
I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.
我是哈里赫·纳博卢。
And I'm Harikh Nabolu.
在我们的新播客《健康那些事儿》中，我们将为你解答那些令人困惑的健康问题。
On our new podcast, Health Stuff, we demystify your burning health questions.
你会听到我们完全坦诚地分享自己的健康状况。
You'll hear us being completely honest about our own health.
说实话，我住院时的结肠状况就像是在求救。
My residency colon was like a cry for help, honestly.
你还会听到专家们希望让医疗更人性化而分享的坦率建议和个人故事。
And you'll hear candid advice and personal stories from experts who want to make health care more human.
我总觉得自己在医学领域从未真正找到归属感。
I feel like I never felt like I truly belonged in medicine.
我们想让健康变得不那么令人困惑，甚至可能带点乐趣。
We wanna make health less confusing and maybe even a little fun.
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的地方寻找健康相关内容。
Find health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
彭博新闻社的《The Big Take》播客让你随时掌握当天最重要的新闻动态。
The Big Take Podcast from Bloomberg News keeps you on top of the biggest stories of the day.
我的美国同胞们，今天是解放日。
My fellow Americans, this is liberation day.
影响市场的故事。
Stories that move markets.
鲍威尔主席为这次首次降息打开了大门。
Chair Powell opened the door to this first interest rate cut.
影响政治，改变商业。
Impact politics, change businesses.
这对AI领域来说是一个真正惊人的发展。
This is a really stunning development for the AI world.
以及你如何考虑你的盈亏底线。
And how you think about your bottom line.
每个工作日下午，在iHeartRadio应用程序、Apple播客或其他您获取播客的地方收听彭博新闻的《大事件》。
Listen to the Big Take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯，这位是雅各布·戈尔茨坦。
I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾经主持过一个名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业历史》的新播客，讲述历史上最杰出的创意、人物和企业。
And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.
也包括一些最糟糕的人物、可怕的想法和具有破坏性的公司
And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies
在商业史上的故事。
in the history of business.
首期节目：西南航空如何凭借廉价机票和免费威士忌打入航空业
First episode, how Southwest Airlines used cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline
的市场。
business.
这是最具德州特色的故事。
The most Texas story ever.
请收听《商业历史》
Listen to business history
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的地方收听。
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
这是iHeart出品的播客《人类保证》。
This is an iHeart podcast, Guaranteed Human.
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