340. 关于20多岁的我至今的10个遗憾

这里是iHeart播客。

This is an iHeart podcast.

嘿，我是艾德·赫尔姆斯，《SNAFU》的主持人，这档节目讲述历史上最严重的失误。新一季里，每期都会带来一个全新的灾难故事。

Hey. It's Ed Helms, host of SNAFU, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new SNAFU every single episode.

32枚遗失的核武器？你会想，等等，停一下，什么情况？

32 lost nuclear weapons? You're like, wait. Stop. What?

没错。这里有丰富的历史、爆笑的桥段，还有众多出色的嘉宾：保罗·谢尔、安吉拉和珍娜、尼克·克罗尔、乔丹·克莱珀。在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你收听播客的地方，收听艾德·赫尔姆斯主持的《SNAFU》第四季。

Yeah. It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Scheer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan Klepper. Listen to season four of SNAFU with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

艾伯特镇染上了一种恶疾。你必须根除它。深入地下，将其彻底挖出。

There's a vile sickness in Abbott's Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out.

由iHeart播客和亚伦·曼基的Grim and Mild联合出品，《混乱小镇》是一部设定在布里奇沃特音频宇宙中的全新虚构播客，由朱尔斯·斯泰特和雷·怀斯主演。在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你收听播客的地方，收听《混乱小镇》。

From iHeart Podcasts and Grim and Mild from Aaron Mankey, this is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jules State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

我是安娜·奥蒂兹。

It's Ana Ortiz.

我是马克·因德利卡多。

And I'm Mark Indelicado.

你们可能认识我们是希尔达

You might know us as Hilda

和贾斯汀。

And Justin.

来自

From

《丑女贝蒂》。欢迎收听

Ugly Betty. Welcome to

我们的新播客《万岁贝蒂》。

our new podcast, Viva Betty.

耶。我们将从头到尾重温这部剧集，深入探讨其中的时尚、戏剧和幕后

Yay. We're rewatching the series from start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind

那些你从未听闻过的幕后瞬间。

the scenes moments that you've never heard before.

但你当时还在做调酒师？

But you were still bartending?

我对此并不知情。

I didn't know that.

酒吧套装就像是，是

The bar pack is like, is

那是你吗？我转身发现是贝蒂的广告。

that you? And I turn around and it's a commercial for Betty.

我当时就想

And I was like

我必须辞职。我不干了。

I gotta quit. I quit.

收听Viva Betty的节目，就在

Listen to Viva Betty on the

iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或你获取播客的任何平台。

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

嘿，大家好。我是斯蒂芬妮·比阿特丽斯。还有梅丽莎·弗梅罗，这里是《更美好》。我们直接进入主题，准备好倾听你们的想法、问题和关于凉鞋配袜子的感受。

Hey, guys. It's Stephanie Beatriz. And Melissa Fumero, and this is More Better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals.

我们也准备好分享一些可能值得商榷的建议和犀利观点。

And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes.

天啊。这真的太糟糕了。我真的很抱歉。

God. That sucks so hard, though. I'm so sorry.

你能比他们更小心眼吗？你能为了好玩跟他们比谁更斤斤计较吗？没错。

Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? Yeah.

所有的一切。因为我们不都在努力变得更好一点吗？收听《更美好》，就在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcast或你获取播客的任何平台。

All the things. Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

大家好，欢迎回到《二十几岁的心理学》，这档播客节目我们将探讨二十多岁人生中的重大变化与转折，以及它们对我们心理的影响。各位好，欢迎回到节目，欢迎回到播客。无论你是新听众还是老听众，无论你身处世界何处。

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the psychology of your twenties, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they mean for our psychology. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world.

非常高兴能和大家共度新一期节目，我们将继续解析二十多岁的心理奥秘。如果这期音频听起来有些不同，那是因为今天悉尼机场突发奇想，把所有航班航线都改道经过我家上空。我尝试录制这期节目已经四五次了。

It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we, of course, break down the psychology of our twenties. Okay. If the audio sounds a little bit different on this episode, it's because Sydney Airport today decided that it would be really fun to divert all of the airport traffic over my house. So I was, like, trying to record this. I have tried to do, like, this episode four or five times.

每次我刚要进入状态，DHL的巨型货机就会出现在距离我窗户不到一公里的位置。所以今天我们临时调整了录制场地，现在是在我家走廊的储物间里进行录制。

And every time I'm about to get into it, like, a DHL mega cargo plane is, like, a kilometer away from, like, my windows. So we kinda changed things up today, and I'm recording in my, like, hallway cupboard situation.

所以

So

刚才算是打破第四面墙解释一下音质差异。但今天，朋友们，我们要做一期更个人化的节目。虽然我通常喜欢从宏观角度讨论二十多岁的人生，分析我们在这个十年里经历各种事情的心理原因，以及为何这个阶段如此混乱。但偶尔我也会做些更私人的内容，更多是为了自己。这个播客对不同听众有不同意义，而对我而言，它就像是本个人日记，或者说是个时间胶囊——有些节目是专门为未来的我制作的，供我日后聆听反思。

breaking the fourth wall there to address if this sounds like a little bit different from my other episodes. But today, guys, we're gonna do a little bit more of a personal episode. Obviously, I like to talk about our twenties in general, and I like to have psychological conversations around why we experience what we do, when we do in this decade, why it's so chaotic. But every now and again, I do like to do a little more of a personal episode, more so for me. I feel like this podcast is many things to many people, but for me, it's also kind of like a personal diary or a little bit of like, kind of like, one of those things called a time capsule, where I wanna do certain episodes specifically for future me to listen to and to reflect on.

今天的节目就是其中之一。几个月前我发布了最受欢迎的节目之一《二十多岁最容易犯的20个错误》，那期凝结了我数月的心血。我们采访了5000多人关于他们的遗憾及原因。自那之后，我开始思考：我自己二十多岁至今有哪些遗憾？

And this today is one of those episodes. Couple of months ago, I released one of my favorite episodes ever, which was the 20 biggest mistakes people make in their twenties. That was like so many months of work went into that episode. And it basically just you know, we talked to over 5,000 people about what they regretted and why. And since that, I've really started to think about, hey, like, what do I regret about my twenties so far?

有哪些事可能会让我在未来感叹'当初要是换个做法就好了'？那期节目播出后，我开始陆续整理自己的遗憾清单，记录近期和早年二十多岁的经历。今天我想分享这份清单。特别是随着我正式步入二十岁后半段，我发现自己变得更具反思性——简直是在等待土星回归给我来个当头棒喝。

What are the things that I might point to later on in life and say, oh, I wish I'd done that differently. And so since that episode has come out, I've kinda started compiling my own list and writing things down here and there, both recent memory and from my much earlier twenties. And today, I thought that I would share that list. Now especially as I'm kind of definitely entering my later twenties, I have found that I've become more reflective. I'm definitely waiting for my Saturn return to like come and kick me in the butt.

在那之前，我想确保自己能尽可能从经历中汲取教训，让那些无论好坏的经历真正成为我的一部分。所以这算是综合了我所有的思考，反思我后悔的事、想改变的事，以及如何真正优先考虑并思考如何度过二十多岁的最后几年。我想或许——只是或许——别人也能从中受益。闲话少说，接下来我们要聊聊我二十多岁至今的十大遗憾，涵盖从恋爱、友情、金钱、健康，到如何利用时间、人生的某些篇章，以及许多其他方面。

And before that happens, I wanna make sure that like I have been taking as many lessons as I can from my experiences, and that the stuff that I'm going through, whether good or bad, will actually stay with me. So this is kind of the combination of all of that thinking and all of that reflecting on what I regret, what I would change, how I wanna kind of go into the last few years of my twenties really prioritizing and thinking about. And I thought maybe just maybe someone else could benefit from this as well. So without further ado, we are gonna talk about my 10 biggest regrets from my twenties so far. Spanning from dating to friendship to money, my health, how I've made use of my time and certain chapters of my life, and so many other things.

希望你喜欢，希望你能学到点什么。我们开始吧。好的，当我思考最大的遗憾时，第一个对我来说简直痛彻心扉，明显得不能再明显了。

I hope you enjoy. I hope you learned something. Let's get into it. Okay. So when I was thinking about one of my biggest regrets, the first one was so painstakingly, like, obvious to me.

毫无疑问，我至今最大的遗憾就是为别人做了自己根本不想做的事。这是我的头号遗憾——所有那些我内心深处、全身每个细胞都在呐喊“我不想做这个”“我不想待在这儿”“我为什么要答应”的时刻。

Like, there is no question that the biggest regret I have so far is doing things for others that I really didn't want to do. That's my biggest regret. Number one is all the times when I have felt deep in my stomach and deep in my body, I don't wanna do this. I don't wanna be here. Why did I say yes to this?

为什么我还在不断答应这些事？可我却一次次陷入这种境地。这大概是我目前最想解决并改善的问题。每周至少有一次，我会和自己对话：我们在干嘛？为什么要同意参加这个活动？

Why do I continue to say yes to these things? And yet, I'm still in that situation time and time again. This is probably the biggest thing that I am currently trying to sort out within myself and trying to make better. I think at least once a week, I have, like, a conversation with myself where I'm like, what are we doing? Why do we agree to go to this event?

为什么要答应这件事？明明它极其耗时，没有报酬，甚至你都不喜欢那些人。最近就有一次，我不断自问：我为什么要答应？为什么要帮这个从没对我好过的人筹办宝宝派对？为什么要帮这个忙？这已成重复模式，我发现自己陷入其中的频率远超预期，我后悔了。

Why do we agree to say yes to this thing even though, like, it's incredibly, like, time heavy and you're not getting paid anything and you don't even like these people. Like, that was a recent one where I was like, what am I why did I say yes to that? Why did I agree to help with this person's, I don't know, baby shower when they've never actually ever been very nice to me? Why did I do this favor for someone? Like, it's a repeat pattern that I honestly find myself in more often than I wanna be, and I regret it.

每次我都后悔不已。当我深究原因时，发现这有历史根源——与我童年时的自我价值感深刻相关。我在播客里提过，小学到高中期间，我曾遭受严重霸凌。那些经历让我极度渴望朋友，渴望被人喜欢，却始终不得其法。

I regret it every single time. I think when I really, like, break down why this is happening, like, it's historical. It's deeply historical, and it's deeply, like, related to the worth I've felt as a child. And I've speak I've spoken about this on the podcast before, but when I was a kid, when I was in primary school, and even when I was in high school, I was bullied really, really badly. And I had all these experiences where I really wanted a friend, and I really wanted people to like me, and, like, I just couldn't figure it out.

其他孩子似乎天生具备让人喜欢的特质，而我恰恰相反——我的特质只会让人厌烦、排斥甚至某种程度上针对我。于是随着年龄增长，我学会了一个策略：只要不断为别人付出，他们就会更喜欢你。如果你总是做老好人、逆来顺受，就能收到邀请，看到幕后景象。

Like, all these other kids seem to just, like, have this quality about them that made other people like them, and I didn't have that quality. In fact, I had the quality that made people find me irritating or not like me or kinda, like, victimize me in a bit of a way. And so as I got older, think one of the strategies I learned is that if you just constantly do things for other people, then they'll like you more. If you are constantly like the yes person and the pushover, you get invited. You get to see behind the scenes.

人们会接纳你。他们接纳你，或许并非因为他们有意识地知道这一点，而是潜意识里明白你会帮助他们，你会为他们竭尽全力，你会为他们牺牲，而不会为自己挺身而出。显然，这对曾经的我非常有用，我必须承认在我年轻时、极度渴望被喜欢、急需朋友的阶段，这确实帮到了我。如今，我有了朋友，生活非常美好，也自信多了，自尊感大幅提升。

People include you. And they include you, maybe not because they consciously know this, but unconsciously because they know that you will help them, and you will bend over backwards for them, and you will sacrifice for them, and you won't stand up for yourself. This obviously was, like, very helpful to me, and I have to acknowledge it was helpful for me when I was younger and when I just really wanted to be liked and I really just needed a friend. Nowadays, like, I have friends, and I have a really great life, and I feel a lot more confident. I have a much greater sense of self esteem.

这种模式现在对我已无益处，甚至开始让我付出代价。我不想具体举例，因为我知道过去那些我违心答应过请求的人可能正在听这期播客。但问题在于，这不是他们的错，对吧？

This is no longer helpful for for me, and it's no longer useful. And in fact, it's, like, really starting to cost me. And I'm not trying not to go into specifics because, like, I'm sure there are people who I've said yes to when I really didn't wanna do things in the past who are listening to this podcast. And the thing is is that it's not their fault. Right?

这是另一个教训：当我想拒绝却继续答应时，错不在对方。当然，可能存在对方隐约察觉这是我的弱点、甚至无意中利用这点的成分。但归根结底，这些我勉强答应的事都相对无关紧要。

It's this is another lesson. Like, it's not someone's fault if I continue to say yes when I want to say no. Yes. There is certainly, like, perhaps layers of recognition that this is a weakness of mine and maybe a desire to manipulate that without them knowing it. But at the end of the day, these things that I'm saying yes to are relatively, like, low stakes.

只是不断做这些事让人烦躁。我大概需要...不知道怎么说...像个成年人那样学会拒绝。这就是我最大遗憾的总结。显然你能看出，我仍在努力纠正这个问题。

They're just irritating to continually do. I kinda have to I don't know. I need to, like, woman up and say no to these things. That's a summary of my biggest regret. And, obviously, you can tell that it's something that I'm still trying to undo.

希望五年后当我完整列出二十多岁的所有遗憾时，这件事不会上榜，而是已被克服。不过肯定很多人都有同感。我的第二大遗憾——第一个很形而上，关乎自我认知、自尊和童年创伤——下一个就实际多了：冲动购买那些穿着不适、不合身或明知永远不会穿的衣服。

And hopefully in five years time when I'm making like the final complete list of my regrets of my twenties all up, this does not make the list and it is something that I've recovered from. But yeah, I'm sure a lot of people can can relate to it. My second biggest regret, like, I feel like the first one is very existential and very much about, like, self-concept and self respect and childhood wounds. This next one is is not so much. It is impulse buying clothes that weren't comfortable or didn't fit or I knew I would never wear.

话题急转直下对吧？但今年底我确实要移民了——签证已批、机票已订、计划进行中。整理衣柜时我才意识到，自己可能有冲动消费问题，买了很多从不穿的衣服，这真是个烧钱的无底洞。

Big, tone shift there, a big one eighty. But I'm obviously, like, preparing to move countries at the end of the year. Like, visas are approved. Flights are booked, plans and preparations are in process. And I am, like, looking through my wardrobe and realizing that I may have, like, an impulse spending problem, and that I buy a lot of stuff that I never wear, and it is a huge money pit for me.

我发现自己基本就轮换穿六套衣服。认真统计并清理衣柜时，我不断问自己'过去六个月穿过这件吗？'结果发现常穿的也就12件，其余都堆在那里，承载着'也许某天会穿'、'也许某天会有自信穿'、'也许某天我会变成适合这些衣服的另一个人'的虚幻期待。

I genuinely think I wear the same six outfits. Like, I yeah. I I really like, I've been doing the math, and I've been asking myself the question and getting rid rid of things. Like, have I worn this in the last six months? And there are probably, like, 12 items of clothing that I generally wear, and the rest is just stuff that like sits there and is filled with the potential of like, maybe one day I'll wear this, maybe one day I'll be confident enough to wear that, and maybe one day I'll suddenly be this different person who wears these things.

我只是清楚地知道自己并非如此。我明白这些东西并不能让我感到舒适，我真心后悔在衣物或物品上投入了那么多钱，以为它们会是让我感觉良好的终极之物，或是填补内心空虚的最后一块拼图，又或是打造完美衣橱、让我每次穿搭都自信满满的终极单品。说实话，这些不过是占据空间的累赘，我正认真考虑打造一个精简衣橱。只保留日常穿着的衣物，其余全部卖掉，然后从头开始——或者干脆不再购买任何新衣物，看看自己能坚持多久。我觉得搬去伦敦会是个尝试极简主义生活方式的绝佳机会。

And I just kind of know that I'm not. Like, I know that these things don't make me comfortable, and I just really regret how much money I have put into clothes or items that I thought were gonna be the final thing that made me feel good, or like the final thing that was gonna fill the void, or like the final item that I needed to have the most perfect wardrobe and feel confident every single time I put something on. It is honestly just a waste of space, and I am seriously considering doing a little bit of a capsule wardrobe. Just selling everything except for like the clothes I know I wear on a daily. And starting from scratch or just, like, not buying anything else and seeing how long I can last, I feel like my move to London is gonna be a great opportunity for me to try out the minimalist lifestyle.

虽然不知道能坚持到什么程度。但没错，我的第二大遗憾就是花在衣物和物品上的钱，那些东西其实只是反映了我渴望成为另一个人的执念。直到现在我才真正意识到这一点。而我的第三大遗憾，现在转向了人际关系方面。

I don't know how successful I will be. But yeah. Second biggest regret is the money that I have put into clothes and items that were really just, like, representing my desire to be someone that I was not. And I haven't, like, really recognized that until now. My third biggest regret now it kind of turns more towards relationships.

老实说，这一点我原本不打算提及，因为可能会让我显得像个坏人或是考虑不周——那就是突然断绝朋友关系。甚至包括那些对我并不友善的朋友。有个特定的人总会浮现在我脑海，我们之间的友谊存在许多深层次问题，既有情感因素也有金钱因素。归根结底，这段关系破裂是因为对方对待金钱的方式，以及那种近乎利用我的行为让我感到极度不适。我知道我们本就不该成为朋友，有些裂痕也无法修补。

And I honestly think it's one that I wasn't like, know this was one I wasn't going to include because of how it may make me look like a bad person or may make me look inconsiderate, but it is ghosting friends. Even people who were not good friends to me. There is, like, one person in particular that I think about who our like, our friendship was deeply problematic for many reasons, emotional, but also financial reasons. Like, at the end of the day, the reason it didn't last was because of how this person treated money and how they kind of took advantage of me for money in a way that felt like really awful. And I I know that we were like, we weren't meant to be friends and that there were things that couldn't be repaired.

但我非常后悔没有和这个人进行最后的对话，没有把话说开。虽然明知这改变不了什么，对方也不会因此改变。但有时候...或许他们根本意识不到问题所在，我真正懊悔的是没能给彼此一个坦诚交代的机会。

But I really regret not having that final conversation with this person and not just clearing the air. I don't think it would have done anything. I don't think that they would have changed. But sometimes I yeah. I just maybe they wouldn't have seen that it was an issue, but I really regret not giving them that and not giving myself that as well.

更糟的是，我的手机最近总在推送这个人的照片。每天都会出现这位旧友的影像，让我无法停止回想。虽然想联系对方的冲动时有出现，但理智告诉我这不是明智之举。这件事留给我的唯一教训就是：今后要勇于直面艰难对话，不再重蹈覆辙。

And my freaking phone has been doing this thing where they have where it's been, like, showing me photos of this person. Like, every single day, I get a photo of this previous friend, and I can't stop thinking about them. And, yeah, like, wanting to reach out, but also knowing it's not for the best. And I just think that that is a lesson. The the the only thing left in that is is the lesson to not do that in the future and to have hard conversations.

过去我确实也这样做过，但我的本能总是避免伤害他人感情，不愿让人失望。却没意识到有时候这种回避反而是自私的表现——因为不愿承受让他人难堪的不适感，结果可能给对方造成更深的伤害。这些都是深刻的教训，也成了我的遗憾。真希望时光倒流，能更妥善地结束某些友谊和关系。

I've definitely done it in the past as well, but I do think that my default is to just, like, not hurt people's feelings and to not want to let people down. Not realizing that sometimes that's kind of selfish. Like, it's kind of selfish to not want to experience the discomfort of upsetting people, but therefore maybe actually making it a more upsetting experience for them. Big lessons in that, but it has been a regret of mine. And I wish that I could go back and finish certain friendships and finish certain relationships better.

或许不包括恋爱关系。自认为在分手方面还算得体，无论是主动还是被动结束。但友谊方面确实处理欠佳。如何结束一段关系恰恰反映出你对这段感情的重视程度，我本可以用更好的方式为某些友谊画上句号。这就是我的第三大遗憾。在短暂休息前，我们再来聊聊第四个遗憾吧。

Maybe not relationships. I will say I feel like I I'm I'm pretty I'm someone who's pretty good to break up with, and I'm good at doing the breaking up, but definitely friendships. Like, I just feel like the way that you really love someone is reflected in how the relationship ends, and I definitely could have honored other friendships and friendships of mine better in the goodbye. That's regret number three. Let's talk about regret number four before we take a short break.

这是我真心希望19岁时有人能告诉我、而我也听进去的话——虽然我觉得当时自己可能也听不进去。我后悔在二十岁出头时过度专注于恋爱。如果你现在19岁或更年轻，或是20、21岁，请认真听我说：如果你目前没有男朋友、女朋友或伴侣，却认为需要恋爱来满足他人期待或让自己更快乐——其实你并不需要。

And this is one that I think I wish I wish someone had told me at 19, and I had listened to them. Although, I don't think I would have. I regret focusing too much on dating in my early twenties. If you are 19 or younger or if you are 20 or 21, listen to me closely right now. If you do not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner right now, and you are thinking that you need one to kind of fulfill other people's expectations or to make you happier, you do not.

拜托，现在请保持单身。尽情享受生活，建立深厚的友谊，让你二十岁的前五年专注于构建稳定的社交圈和支持网络。至少在25岁之前，你根本不需要考虑恋爱问题。

Please, please, be single right now. Have a lot of fun. Make a lot of amazing friendships. Make the first five years of your twenties be about building stable community and a support network. You do not need to start focusing on dating until you are at least 25.

我知道这会引发复杂情绪。确实有人在二十出头就遇到一生挚爱并修成正果，这种情况非常美好。我也理解很多人对'晚熟'、'孤独终老'或'缺乏经验'充满恐惧。但以我的亲身经历回望，我深深后悔曾经耗费那么多时间精力去讨好男性、强求恋爱、维系根本不合适的关系——这些能量本可以用在更有意义的事情上。比如我二十出头时某段感情...

And I know that that brings up complicated feelings. I know that a lot of people may have met the love of their life in their early twenties, and it's worked out incidentally, like, really amazing. And I know a lot of people have a lot of fears around being a late bloomer or never finding anybody or not having experience. But I am telling you from my perspective and looking back at my life, I regret so deeply how much time and energy I put into trying to make men like me, trying to fall in love, trying to force relationships that did not work, when I could have spent all of that energy on so much else. Like, there is a particular relationship I had in my early twenties.

我21岁那年经历了两次分手。就在那段时间，那些恋情摧毁了我半数的友谊。天啊，这到底图什么呢？真的值得吗？我完全承认，开始那段关系是个糟糕决定，也让我表现得像个烂人。

Like, when I was 21, I went through two breakups in one year. And in that same period of time, like, being in those relationships, like, decimated half of my friendships. And oh my god, for what? Like, genuinely for what? I take, like, full accountability for the fact that, you know, being in that relationship was a terrible decision and made me act terribly as a as a person.

现在我可以明确说，这段经历几乎没教会我任何东西——除了'别再重蹈覆辙'。我永远无法挽回那些时光，也无法修复因我在关系中自私表现而毁掉的友谊。我有几个妹妹...

And I just wish I could like, I didn't really learn anything from it. I can, like, fully say that now. Like, I don't think I learned much from it other than that I shouldn't do that again. And, you know, I can never get back, like, that time, and I can never get back the friendships that it that, like, my selfishness in that relationship ruined. And I just wish like, I have younger sisters.

这周末她们住我家时，我可能吓到她们了——我问'你们在约会吗？'，她们回'关你什么事'，我就说'本来就不该有！快交代'

And I was talking to them because they were staying with me this weekend, I was like, probably, like, scaring them a little bit. But I was like, are you guys dating anyone? And then they were like, I'm none of your business. And I was like, well, shouldn't be. Tell me.

但接着说'赶紧分手！保持单身！跟我去伦敦！去悉尼！趁年轻做些疯狂冒险的事吧，缘分迟早会来的'

But also, like, break up with them. Like, you need to be single. Like, move to London with me. Like, move to Sydney. Like, just do something wild and adventurous and crazy whilst you can because you will meet someone eventually.

即便你不这样做，把时间用于建立自信、自爱以及丰富的人际关系网络，也比为那些不尊重你的人自我牺牲更有价值。抱歉，我知道我说过要休息一下，但这第五个遗憾与此密切相关——那就是为了寻求认可而容忍约会对象的恶劣行为。这又回到了我之前提到的那段关系，我允许那种不尊重的发生，并非自我责备，但回想起来，我竟因渴望这个平庸之人的青睐而忽视那些轻视，实在荒谬。

And if you don't, you will still benefit more from spending that time building self confidence and self love and a really rich ecosystem of friendships and relationships rather than just, like, kind of martyring yourself for people who don't respect you. This kind of brings me sorry. I know I said I'd take a break, but this fifth regret is actually really relevant to this, and that is tolerating bad behavior from people I was dating because I wanted validation. And that really kind of comes back to that relationship I was talking about. Like, the disrespect that I let happen And I'm not, like, blaming myself, but, like, the disrespect that I overlooked because I wanted this mediocre person to like me is wild in hindsight.

这个人对待我的方式——在他人面前贬低我、否定我的热情、从未满足我的情感需求——而我却不断回头崇拜他，这让我极度后悔。我多希望当时能问自己（现在也建议身处类似困境的人思考）：如果这是你的灵魂伴侣，他们会这样对待你吗？这就是你想要的余生被爱的方式吗？二十多岁时，我们常觉得这些没那么重要。

Like, the way this person would make me feel, the way he would like talk down to me in front of others, the way he would discredit my passions, the way he would never like, meet my emotional needs, and yet I continue to, like, come back to him and, like, worship him, is a huge regret for me. It's it's a massive one. The question that I wish I'd asked myself and which I now tell people to ask themselves in these similar situations is, if this was your soulmate, would your soulmate treat you this way? Is this how you want to be loved for the rest of your life? Because I think in our twenties, sometimes the stakes don't feel that high.

对吧？总觉得这个人不会永远留在生命里。但关键在于，每多待在这种削弱你自信与自尊的环境中一刻，都是无法挽回的损失。我真希望当初能坚定立场。

Right? It doesn't really feel like this person is gonna be forever. But, like, it doesn't matter. Every moment that you stay in those situations where your confidence and your sense of self and your sense of self esteem is, like, degraded is a moment you don't get back and is important. So I wish I hadn't I wish I'd put my foot down.

真希望我能更早止损。甚至有点阴暗地幻想过，要是能最后直视他的眼睛说'你真是错过珍宝了'就好了。内心深处有个顽皮又刻薄的声音在说：天啊，真想狠狠教训他一顿。虽然分手时我只是悄声离开而非爆发，但...

I wish that I'd just cut my losses a bit sooner. And you know what? I wish in, like, kind of a cruel way that I'd had, like, that final moment to, like, look this person in the eye and be like, you really have lost out. Like, there's a cell like, this, like, little, like, cheeky kind of mean part of me that's like, god, I wish I could have just, like, given them a piece of my mind. Maybe not immediately when we broke up because, like, the way I broke up with this person was like a whisper rather than a shout.

多希望半年后偶遇时，我能昂着头说'呵呵'。这大概是想弥补那段时期缺失的自信吧。好了，说好要休息的。

But I wish that, like, six months later, I'd run into him, and I could have just been like, yeah. Like, I don't know. Maybe it's like a reclaiming of the confidence I I wish I had during that period. But okay. I promised us a break.

承诺过给大家喝茶看广告的时间。别走开，我们马上回来。

I promised some time for you guys to go get some tea to enjoy my ads. So stay with us. We will be right back.

大家好，我是艾德·赫尔姆斯，欢迎回到《SNAFU》——这档讲述史上最糟搞砸事件的播客。新季每期都将带来不同的灾难故事。

Hey. It's Ed Helms, and welcome back to SNAFU, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new snafu every single episode.

32枚核武器丢失？等等，停下，什么？是的。

32 lost nuclear weapons? Wait. Stop. What? Yeah.

厄尼·沙克尔顿听起来像是个七十年代可靠的篮球运动员。那时他们还戴着护膝。没错。这将充满历史、趣味和众多嘉宾。伟大的保罗·希尔让我感觉很好。

Ernie Shackleton sounds like a solid seventies basketball player. Who still wore knee pads. Yes. It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of guests. The great Paul Scheer made me feel good.

我心想，哇哦。安吉拉和珍娜，你们能来我太兴奋了。

I'm like, oh, wow. Angela and Jenna, I am so psyched you're here.

对你们来说，这样低调地加入节目感觉如何？

What was that like for you to soft launch into the show?

抱歉，珍娜。今天由我来提问。

Sorry, Jenna. I'll be asking the questions today.

我忘了我们是在录谁的播客了。尼克

I forgot whose podcast we were doing. Nick

克罗尔，希望这个故事精彩到能让你扔掉那个三明治。所以，让我们看看效果如何。请在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的地方收听由艾德·赫尔姆斯主持的《SNAFU》第四季。

Kroll, I hope this story is good enough to get you to toss that sandwich. So let's let's let's see how it goes. Listen to season four of snafu with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

大家好，我是Jay Shetty，《On Purpose》播客的主持人。我有幸与独一无二的Cardi B坐下来交谈。

Hey. I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. I had the incredible opportunity to sit down with the one, the only, Cardi B.

我的婚姻，我感觉爱在消逝。我每天都在哭泣。陷入了前所未有的深度抑郁。

My marriage, I felt the love dying. I was crying every day. I fell in the deepest depression that I had ever had.

你认为自己哪里误解了？

How do you think you misunderstood?

我不是人们想象中那种邪恶刻薄的人。我太富有同情心了，我对我男人充满怜惜。

I'm not this evil mean person that people think that I am. I'm too compassionate. I have sympathy for that my man.

你在工作中倾注了如此多的心血，面对批评时最难以承受的是什么？

You put so much heart and soul into your work. What's the hardest part for you to take that criticism?

这一切不是白来的。我拼命工作才得到这些。即便当脱衣舞娘时，我也是这里最棒的钢管舞者。

This was not given to me. I worked my ass off for me. Even when I was a stripper, I'm a beat the best pole dancer in here.

你是在什么时候感觉到

When was the moment you felt

我做到了？

I did it?

直到今天我仍感到不安。我每天都在为维持这种成功水平而奋斗，因为人们太想从你手中夺走它了。

I still to this day don't feel comfortable. I fight every day to keep this level of success because people want it taken from you so bad.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《On Purpose with Jay Shetty》。

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

大约四年前，我开始尝试怀孕。

I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now.

我们年纪渐长，感觉机会之窗可能正在关闭。

We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing.

彭博与iHeart播客联合呈现《IVF disrupted：Kindbody的故事》，讲述一家承诺彻底改变生育护理的公司。Kindbody作为新一代女性健康与生育护理机构，获得数百万风投和私募资金支持，如科技初创企业般迅猛发展。尽管Kindbody确实帮助女性组建家庭，却也留下了一连串幻想破灭与愤怒的患者。

Bloomberg and iHeart podcast present IVF disrupted, the kind body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kindbody, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kindbody did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients.

你以为终于遇到了对的人、得到了对的帮助，结果发现又一次落空。别被骗了。

You think you're finally, like, with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled.

被什么？

By what?

所有光鲜亮丽的事物。

All the bright and shiny.

敬请收听《IVF颠覆者：Kind Body的故事》，9月19日起在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何您获取播客的平台上线。

Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body story, starting September 19 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

权力斗争、黑钱交易、毒品、暴力与背弃的承诺。

Power struggles, shady money, drugs, violence, and broken promises.

这简直就是战区。这些人都是野兽。毫无诚信可言。忠诚荡然无存。一切都消失了。

It's a freaking war zone. These people are animals. There's no integrity. There's no loyalty. That's all gone.

在二十世纪八十年代，模特行业不仅是梦想，更是一片战场。

In the nineteen eighties, modeling wasn't just a dream. It was a battlefield.

签约。签约。签约。达成交易。把模特们都招进来。

Book. Book. Book. Make deals. Let's get models in.

让我们把他们救出来。

Let's get them out.

而模特们自身，她们带着永远无法完全愈合的伤痕。

And the models themselves, they carried scars that never fully healed.

说实话，直到今天，如果我看到卷尺，我都会吓一跳。

Till this day, honestly, if I see a measuring tape, I freak out.

《模特战争》播客揭开光鲜的表层，揭示了一场生存比美貌更重要的高风险游戏。由我，瓦妮莎·格雷戈里奥蒂斯主持。这是一个建立在无情野心之上的行业不为人知的故事。请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的地方收听《模特战争》。

The model wars podcast peels back the glossy cover and reveals a high stakes game where survival meant more than beauty. Hosted by me, Vanessa Gregoriotis. This is the untold story of an industry built on ruthless ambition. Listen to model wars on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎回来。提醒一下，我们正在讨论我二十多岁时至今的十大遗憾。我们已经谈过了人际关系、随意购物、以及突然断绝朋友联系。

Welcome back. As a reminder, we are talking about the 10 biggest regrets that I have about my twenties so far. We have talked about relationships. We've talked about shopping randomly. We've talked about ghosting friends.

现在我想更多地谈谈我如何选择使用我的时间和精力。这是我们的第几个遗憾了？第六个遗憾实际上与写日记有关，以及我如何处理情绪或记录生活中的关键时刻。我希望自己在二十岁出头时能多写日记，而不是依赖记忆来准确描述事情。青少年时期，我有这些极其详细的日记和对生活的反思。

I wanna talk now more about how I chose to use my time and my energy. And this what are we up to? Sixth regret has to do with journaling, actually, and how I processed emotions or took notes of pivotal points in my life. I wish that I had journaled more, especially in my early twenties, rather than relying on my memory to accurately describe things. When I was a teenager, I have these incredibly intricate journals and reflections on, like, my life.

里面有所有这些角色，还有这些实际上发生在我身上的情节转折。说实话，回顾它们真的很愉快。我觉得人们写日记有两个原因：为了情感处理作为一种应对方式，同时也作为一种记忆保存的方式，以便能够连贯地看到自己生活的故事，对吧？

And there are all these characters, and there are all these, like, plot twists that actually happened to me. And it's honestly really delightful, like, reading them back. I feel I feel as if people journal for two reasons. They journal for emotional processing and as a form of coping, and they also journal as a form of memory keeping and as a way to see it coherent so to kind of be able to see the the story of their life. Right?

我的故事中有很大一部分缺失了，如果你只读我的日记就会发现，因为我当时太分心没有记录，也不认为那很重要。现在我真的很后悔，因为我希望能有一份更——我本想说是客观的，但更像是当时对我经历和学习内容的实时记述。也许这期播客就是我现在弥补的方式。而且这可能正好与我开始做播客的时间重合，那时我觉得没必要那么频繁记录。但我确实应该记录，现在依然如此。

And there is this big chunk of my story that is missing if you were only to read my journals because I just I was so distracted that I didn't do it, and I didn't think it was important. And I just really regret that because I wish I had a more I was gonna say objective, but, like, objective as in of the time recount of what I was going through and what I was learning at that time. I guess this episode is like a way to do that for me right now. And I guess maybe it really, like, aligned with when I started doing the podcast, and I kind of felt like I didn't have to do it as much. But I did, and I still do.

现在我正重新开始这个习惯。但真心希望当初能坚持得更好。这对我而言是非常重要的实践，虽然不确定为何会忽视它，但我知道自己后悔了。我的第七个遗憾是过度思考而非直接行动。这又是我试图不必完全戒除，但要学会接纳并与之共处的惯性模式。

And now I'm kind of getting back into it. But I really wish that I'd done that more. It's such an important practice for me, and and I don't know necessarily why I neglected it, but I know I regret it. My seventh regret is overthinking things rather than just doing them. And yet again, this is another kind of routine way that I operate that I'm trying to not necessarily unlearn, but just acknowledge and be friends with.

明白吗？我可能——也很可能永远无法改变大脑过度思考的倾向，但相信自己能克服那种无止境反复琢磨的本能。这种光想不做的习性既无伤大雅又影响深远。它每天都在发生：从选冰淇淋口味这种小事——明明想好要什么，临到头却选了完全不同的而后悔；到过度规划未来导致错失机遇——只因纠结选择是否正确，担心踏上无法回头的路。这实在太荒谬了。

You know, I might and probably will never change my brain's tendency to overthink, but I think I can overcome the instinct to just ruminate forever and ever and ever. My tendency to overthink rather than just do is both, like, innocuous and deeply, like, influential. It happens every single day. It's like from small things, like, not being able to choose an ice cream flavor, and then, like, getting to the counter and having something in mind that I want, and then choosing something completely different and being disappointed, to overthinking my future to the point where I don't ever act on certain things or don't ever act on opportunities because I've just been so obsessed over whether they're gonna be right and whether they're gonna set me on a path that I can't come back from. That's just, like, so ridiculous.

对吧？我们根本无从预知决定的结果。我总是建议别人直接行动、果断抉择而非犹豫不决。可我自己却仍在与之斗争。虽然最终总会行动和决定，但不禁思考：究竟浪费了多少时间和机遇在空想上？

Right? Like, we have no idea how a decision is going to work out. I always give people advice to just do, to just make the decision, to just go with one choice rather than going with no choice. And yet, it's something that I still struggle with. I definitely do act, and I definitely do make the decision eventually, but I just wonder how much time and opportunity I've wasted thinking about it.

特别是——请允许我再次打破第四面墙——当播客做到第二年，听众真正开始认真收听时，那种感觉不再只是爱好，而是在做有意义的事。

Especially, like, to break the fourth wall yet again. When I think, like, in, like, year two of the podcast, when, like, people were listening. Right? Really listening. And it felt like I was doing something important rather than just a hobby.

那时我会病态地纠结下一期内容。虽然积累了大量好创意和值得分享的故事，却因不断质疑听众是否会觉得有价值——而非关注自我价值认知——最终未能发布。这无疑是重大失误，也是我深以为憾的事。过去求职时也犯过同样错误，因过度斟酌导致对方最终选择他人。

I would obsessively think about which episodes to release next. And it meant that I, like, had all these really good ideas, and I had all these stories that I think would have been really important to share. And I didn't because I kept questioning and overthinking whether people would find them valuable rather whether than, you know, whether I would find them valuable. And I feel like that was a big mistake, and that's something that I, again, I regret. I've also done it with job opportunities in the past where I've overthought something to the point where they've basically been like, well, we're gonna give it to someone else.

我完全尊重这种决定，但希望自己不必陷入这种境地。所以二十几岁最后三年里，我想更多听从直觉，信任脑海中闪现的第一个念头——哪怕它是错的。我的思考是：通过试错来磨练直觉至关重要。唯有实践最初浮现的想法，才能分辨何为直觉何为焦虑。

And I totally respect that decision, but I wish that I wasn't in that situation. So something that I wanna do in the next three years of my twenties is to just listen to my gut a little bit more and to just trust the first thought that comes into my brain, even if it's wrong. And this is what I think about this. I think that there is so much to be said about trial and error in further honing and fine tuning your gut instinct and your intuition. The only way you can know what is intuition and and what is anxiety is to just act on whatever comes up first and figure it out.

然后试图逆向分析或者说事后才明白、事后才分辨出哪是哪。对吧？以及他们为何可能突然感觉不同了。所以这是我想提升的能力。不信任直觉在过去也确实给我惹了不少麻烦。

And then kind of reverse engineer or kind of understand in hindsight or distinguish in hindsight, which was which. Right? And what they've why they, like, might suddenly feel differently. So this is something that I wanna be better at. Not trusting my gut instinct has also, like, gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past.

这让我想到第八个遗憾，就是在重大财务决策时没有相信直觉，让别人施压我做明知不对且内心抗拒的事。节目中我很少谈钱，说实话我不太擅长理财。虽然我确实更用心学习投资和理性用钱了，但要知道，我有经济学学位不代表我真懂日常财务决策。

That kind of brings me to my eighth regret, which is the times that I didn't trust my gut instinct when it came to large financial decisions and letting people pressure me into things that I knew were not right and that I had a bad gut feeling about. I don't really talk about money on the show very much, just because I to be real, I'm not particularly very good with money. Like, I'm definitely been more dedicated to learning about it and to investing in things and to using my money wisely. But, like, you know, I have an economics degree. Doesn't mean I really understand everyday financial decisions very well.

但去年，我虽不算亏损，却因不愿反驳某人的建议，投了对我而言的巨款。不是想讨好对方，而是觉得无法拒绝。当时全身每个细胞都在呐喊：别这么做，别花这笔钱。

But last year, I didn't necessarily lose, but I invested like what was a very significant sum of money for me because of advice from someone else who I didn't want to disagree with. It's not that I wanted to impress them, but I felt like I couldn't say no. And I felt, like, pressured into making this decision. And every part of me was like, don't do that. Like, don't spend this money.

你根本不想做这个。实际上这对你不是正确决定，不会带来好结果。可我还是做了，现在追悔莫及。

You don't wanna do this. This actually isn't going this isn't the right decision for you. This isn't gonna lead to a better outcome for you. And yet I did it. And I really deeply regret it.

我无比后悔没听从直觉。不过说真的，损失不算彻底。从长远看，虽然当时确实是笔巨款...

I really deeply regret that I didn't listen to my intuition. And you know what? It wasn't a total loss. And in the grand scheme of things, like yeah. It was a lot of money at the time.

未来的我肯定不至于...这金额还不到买房买车那种程度。但我真希望当时更相信自己，更信赖自己的调研和信息来做决定，少受同伴压力。补充下，这也是我在《20大人生遗憾》主节目中提到的额外遗憾——没有尽早投资。那期节目里很多人都有同感，我也是。

Like, I'm sure future me is not going is not like, it's it wasn't, like, the amount that you would need to buy a house or even a car or anything like that big. But I just I just wish that I had listened to myself a little bit better, and that I had been more more trusting in my own research and the information I had to make a better decision. And again, less peer pressured. I will also say this is a bonus regret that I talked about in the in the main episode that I did on this, the 20 biggest regrets episode. Not investing sooner was a big one for a lot of people in that episode, and it's a big one for me.

当你发现多少人靠钱生钱时，真的会震惊到颠覆认知。现在这个时代，你不需要成为投资天才或千万富翁也能接触这些机会。哪怕20到50美元都能投股票债券获得收益。当然要说清楚——这不是天上掉馅饼。

Once you realize how many people are just, like, making money from their money, like, it it's shocking, and you never look back. And we're kind of at a point now where you don't necessarily need to be, like, a unicorn investor or a multimillionaire to have access to these opportunities. I think, like, even 20 to $50, like, you can put into shares or bonds or stocks, and you can get returns. And I wish, like, it's not free money. I will say it's not free money.

我必须停止说这句话。前几天我对一位当会计师的朋友说了这话，她立刻反驳说‘你不能称之为免费的钱’，但这本质上就是让你的钱为你工作。作为我后悔清单上的附加项——希望早点明白的事，这绝对算一件。我现在有点忘记说到第几条了，应该是第九条，也就是倒数第二条。

I need to stop saying this. I said this to my friend the other day who was an accountant, and she was like, you can't say that it's free money, but it is, like, your money working for you. And so as a bonus regret slash thing I wish I'd done sooner, that is definitely one of them. I've kind of lost track of where I'm up to now. I think we are at number nine, our second last one.

这条遗憾是关于大学期间没有充分利用闲暇时光。具体来说，我本该好好享受大学生活相对清闲的阶段。当时我却疯狂给自己施压，拼命实习、海投简历、美化履历，试图让一切显得光鲜。当然，我也需要打工来支付账单。

And that is not making the most of my time off when I was at university. Let me explain. I should have taken advantage of how little I had on when I was a university student. I felt so much pressure to, like, have the internships, to be applying for, like, as many jobs as possible and, like, boosting my resume and, like, making it look more important. Obviously, I also had to work because I needed to, like, pay my bills.

但我也浪费了大量时间无所事事，在校园里闲晃虚度光阴。现在想来实在可惜。成年后责任如山压来，才明白那段能享受些许自由的时光多么珍贵。那时候每七周就有个小假期，每十二周左右还能休息一阵。

But I also spent a great deal of time just, like, messing about and just, like, kind of hanging around my college and, like, not really doing anything. And I wish I hadn't done that. Like, you get to the stage and, like, adulthood all the responsibilities just, like, kind of take over, and you realize how rare that time in your life was where you could just, like, have a little bit of freedom. Often, like, every seven weeks, you would have, like, a break. Every twelve weeks or so, you would have a break.

真希望当时能多来几次短途旅行，多探索些新鲜事物，多做些真正让我兴奋的事，而不是那些‘应该做’的事。记得有年冬天，我做了个大家都说很重要的实习——可后来根本没人问起过这段经历。

And I wish I'd just done a few more day trips. I wish I'd done a bit more exploring. I wish I'd done a bit more of the stuff that excited me rather than what I thought I should have done. I remember one winter especially where I did this internship that everyone told me was important. I have never been asked about that internship.

甚至后来有份工作录用我时，交的简历里根本没提这段实习。那是份过时的简历。可为了这段无薪实习，我投入了无数小时，以为这是在前职业领域出人头地的必经之路。这些时间永远无法重来。其实若当时多享受些乐趣，对我的性格塑造、自我认知和生活幸福感都会有更大提升。大学毕业前那几年我把一切都看得太沉重，完全没意识到那段时光的自由与快乐多么值得珍惜。

I even think that I got a job without that internship on my resume because it was an old resume that I handed in. Like and it was so many hours of unpaid work that I thought was expected of me to get ahead in, like, the previous career that I was in, and I just won't get that time back. And I really think that my character and my sense of self and my, like, life enjoyment would have been improved so much better by just having some fun. I took my I took everything so seriously when I was finishing up uni and when I was in my final few years and months of university, and I didn't appreciate how much freedom and how much fun, like, that time is and how you should really take advantage of it. Nowadays, it's, like, so much harder.

如今想休个完整的工作假期都难，我已经两年没体验过了。多希望当年能明白那是种馈赠——未来有的是时间拼搏，去做那些‘应该做的事’。也许现在别人正在做这些事，让你觉得身处暗战，其实根本没有。社会需要的是全面发展的个体。

I don't think I've had, like, a full week off without working in, like, two years. I wish that I realized what a gift that was back then, and that there is so much time to get ahead and to do the shoulds and to do the things that you feel, like, obligated to do to get ahead later on. And, yeah, someone else might be doing those things now, and you might feel like you're in the secret competition with all of these people. You're not. People also want well rounded individuals.

若你总是机械完成他人期待或自己都不在乎的面子工程，就不可能真正全面发展。这是我的第九个遗憾。最后这条可能有点怪——拖延就医。没想到它会成为我清单上的第十条。

And you can't be well rounded if you just continuously do things that are expected of you or that you don't even care about just because of how they look. That's my ninth regret. And this is my final one. Delaying medical appointments. Sounds like a weird one to make number 10 on this list.

并非如此。你们知道我当时处理得很好，也许没听过那期节目的人不清楚，但年初时我经历了一场严重的健康恐慌——我去看验光师，结果几天内就做了核磁共振检查是否患有脑瘤。他们还检测我是否患有多发性硬化症等各种疾病。本质上，我的视神经肿胀得非常厉害。

It is not. You guys know I had that really well, maybe you don't know if you didn't listen to that episode, but at the start of the year, I had this really intense health scare where I went to the optometrist, and literally within days, I was getting MRIs to see if I had a brain tumor. And they were testing to see if I had MS or I had all of, like, all of these different diseases. Essentially, my optic nerve in my eye was, like, really, really swollen. And yeah.

天啊...我本该记得病名。视神经病变，我想是这个症状名称。而我完全忽视了这些异常征兆，那些奇怪的身体反应，显然我都没有认真关注过。

I oh my god. I should know what it's called. Optic neurosis, I think, was is what the symptom is. And I just I'd missed that. I've been having all of these, like, weird things, and I hadn't obviously, like, paid attention to them.

突然间我的生活天翻地覆，就在几秒钟内。就在上周，我把明年所有的体检预约都完成了：验血、各项筛查、超声波检查等等，专门针对那些长期困扰我、造成疼痛不适却总被忽视的问题，现在必须重视起来以防恶化。

And then suddenly it was like, oh my god, my life is flipped upside down in, a matter of seconds. Literally, just last week, I went and I did all of my appointments for the next year. I went and got my bloods done. I went and got, like, all of my, like, screenings done. I went and got a bunch of, like, ultrasounds and a bunch of other stuff just to, like, look at things that I have been annoying me and that are obviously, like, causing pain or discomfort in my body that I would ordinarily just, like, ignore, but I know I need to pay attention to now before they get worse.

必须说明下：我住在澳大利亚。感谢全民医保制度，所有这些检查只花费了50澳元。我确实充分享受了这项福利。

I always have to give this caveat. I live in Australia. Right? God bless Universal Healthcare because all of those appointments cost me $50. And I I really did take advantage of of those perks.

我确实做了全身彻底检查。每次给出这个建议或谈及这个遗憾时，总有人表示在他们国家无法实现。这没关系，但只要有可能——无论是通过大学免费项目，或是趁着年轻有折扣、还在父母医保范围内时——请务必去做检查。

Like, I really did get the whole I got the whole, like, bodily review, the whole like, I did everything. And so I know every time I give this piece of advice or I talk about this regret, I always get people who are not in countries that are as blessed as Australia being like, that's not that's not, like, obtainable for everybody. That's okay. You should still do it. If you have the means, if you have any form of means or any way of doing this, even if it's through, like, free programs through your university, eve like, especially when you're young and it may be discounted or you may still be underneath your parents' health insurance, go and do it.

我还做了皮肤癌筛查。年轻时我经常暴晒皮肤，这事拖延了很久。检查后的那种安心感实在太解脱了。

I also just got my skin checked for skin cancer. I spent a lot of time, like, baking my body in the sun when I was in my late teens and early twenties. And I was like, I have to do this. I kept getting it put off. The peace of mind that I felt afterwards was so relieving.

请为了我，也为了大家去做体检吧。这绝对值得，心理健康检查也同样重要。

Please do it for me. Do it do it for us. Go and do your medical appointments. It's it's worth it. And that also counts for your mental health as well.

我在这方面并不总是做得很好。有时我会让事情发展到危机的地步才采取行动。经历了去年心理健康方面的一切后，我确实在努力意识到这是我的一个模式，并试图改掉它。我想就是这些了。

I haven't always been the best at that. I feel like I let things get to a crisis point sometimes before I take action. And after everything I went through last year with my mental health. I'm definitely trying to be aware that that is a pattern for me, and I'm trying to unlearn it. I think that's all of them.

我想我们已经谈完了我的十大遗憾。我清单上还有一条肯定是后来加上的。第十一条：让那些我不尊重的人使我自我感觉糟糕。这个结尾有点沉重，但这尤其与网络上的人有关。我经常提到自己多么容易被挑衅言论激怒。

I think we have done my 10 regrets. I do have one more on this list that I must have added. Number 11, letting people who I don't respect make me feel bad about myself. That's kind of a big one to end on, but this is especially like to do with people online. I talk so much about like how I'm so easy to rage bait.

我了解自己的这个特点。我特别容易对那些躲在匿名账号后面在网上批评别人的人感到愤怒——那些人只会说'你做错了'，却从未真正尝试在生活中创造什么或展现自己。所以我后悔把那么多情感时间和精力浪费在那些素未谋面、对我持有毫无根据看法的人身上。这算是个额外补充的遗憾。

I know this about myself. I get so frustrated at people who, like, criticize other people online behind behind, like, a troll account or, like, a faceless profile, or people who are, you you did that wrong. And, like, they've never actually attempted to make anything in their life or, like, put themselves out there. And so this is one that I'm just like, I regret all the emotional time and energy I invested into people that I would never meet who had opinions about me that were completely unfounded. That's like a little bonus one.

说实话，我现在仍然不知道如何避免这种情况。所以这是个持续性的遗憾。也许这就是为什么它没进入主清单。但如果你也是这样的人，最近容易被挑衅言论激怒或容易因他人观点而沮丧，请记住你并不孤单。以上就是全部内容了。

If you are someone and I to be honest, I still don't know how to not do it. So it's an ongoing regret. Maybe that's why it didn't make the full list. But if you are someone who feels the same and who has easily been rage baited recently or is easily getting frustrated by people's opinions, you are not alone. But that's everything.

这就是我清单上的全部内容。我觉得随着未来几年年龄增长，这个清单会发生变化，我会学到更多。所以可能在我三十岁前《二十几岁心理学》的最后一季时，我会重新审视这个清单，看看哪些遗憾我已经克服，从哪些事情中吸取了教训，哪些后悔程度减轻了。但就目前而言，这些就是我二十岁出头到中期的主要感悟。希望如果你处在人生相似阶段或刚二十出头，能从这些遗憾中学到什么，避免犯同样的错误。

That's everything on my list. And I feel like that list is gonna change in the next couple several years as, like, I get older, and I feel like I'm gonna learn more. So I think I might come back in the last season of the psychology of your twenties, the last season before I turned 30, and redo this list and see, like, where I've kind of what ones I've overcome, which things I've learned from, which things I regret a little bit less. But for now, that's really what I'm taking away from my early and mid twenties. And I hope that if, know, you're at a similar point in your life or if you're in your early twenties, you can learn something from those regrets and maybe not make the same mistakes.

或许每个人都必须经历这些事情并自行领悟。无论如何，希望这些分享对你有帮助。欢迎在下方分享你的遗憾。虽然我们已经有完整节目，但我真心认为最容易的学习方式当然是亲自犯错。

Or maybe it's just the case that everyone has to go through some of this stuff and and figure it out on their own. So whatever it is, I don't know. Hopefully, was helpful. And feel free to share your regrets below. I know we have that full episode, but I genuinely think that the easiest way to learn is obviously to make the mistake yourself.

第二容易的方式就是听取他人经历，反思他们的心得和从那些时刻学到的教训。所以如果你想分享，请在下方留言：你二十多岁至今最大的遗憾是什么？同时请确保在Instagram或你正在收听节目的平台（Spotify、Apple Podcasts）关注我们。我们还有YouTube频道和Substack。

The second easiest way is to hear from others and reflect on their take their takeaways and and their learnings from those moments. So if you feel the need to share, please do leave a comment below. What is your biggest regret in your twenties so far? Also, make sure that you are following us on Instagram or you are following us wherever you are listening right now on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts. We also have a YouTube, and we have a Substack.

所以如果你需要文字稿，我知道很多人都有这个需求。如果你想要我们某些节目中引用的研究资料或参考文献，现在都可以获取了。描述区会有链接。你随时都能找到链接，到处都是链接。每个人都能找到相关链接，但我们会明确标注位置。

So if you want transcripts, I know a lot of people want that. If you want some of the studies, references to the studies that we cite in some of our episodes, that is now available. There will be links in the description. You can always there's links everywhere. Everyone's got a link to something, but it will be clear where it is.

跟着链接就能找到你要的东西。但在下次见面之前，请注意安全，保持善良，善待自己，从遗憾中学习，我们很快、很快就会再聊。

Follow that to find what you're looking for. But until next time, stay safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself, learn from your regrets, and we will talk very, very soon.

嘿，我是艾德·赫尔姆斯，《Snafu》的主持人，这档节目讲述历史上最严重的搞砸事件。新一季里，每期都会带来一个全新的乌龙故事。

Hey. It's Ed Helms, host of Snafu, my podcast about history's greatest screw ups. On our new season, we're bringing you a new Snafu every single episode.

32枚遗失的核武器？你会想，等等，停一下，什么情况？

32 lost nuclear weapons? You're like, wait. Stop. What?

没错。这将充满历史趣味、大量笑料和众多精彩嘉宾——保罗·谢尔、安吉拉和珍娜、尼克·克罗尔、乔丹·克莱珀。在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听艾德·赫尔姆斯主持的《Snafu》第四季。

Yeah. It's gonna be a whole lot of history, a whole lot of funny, and a whole lot of fabulous guests. Paul Scheer, Angela and Jenna, Nick Kroll, Jordan Klepper. Listen to season four of snafu with Ed Helms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

阿巴斯镇染上了恶疾。你必须根除它。深入地下，将其彻底铲除。

There's a vile sickness in Abbas Town. You must excise it. Dig into the deep earth and cut it out.

由iHeart播客与亚伦·曼基的Grim and Mild联合出品，欢迎收听《混乱之城》——一部设定在布里奇沃特音频宇宙的全新虚构剧集播客，由朱尔斯·斯泰特和雷·怀斯主演。在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《混乱之城》。

From iHeart Podcasts and Grim and Mild from Aaron Mankey, this is Havoc Town, a new fiction podcast set in the Bridgewater audio universe, starring Jules State and Ray Wise. Listen to Havoc Town on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

我是安娜·奥尔蒂斯。

It's Ana Ortiz.

我是马克·因德利卡多。

And I'm Mark Indellicado.

你可能认识我们饰演的希尔达

You might know us as Hilda

和贾斯汀。

And Justin.

来自《丑女贝蒂》。

From Ugly Betty.

欢迎收听我们的新播客《万岁贝蒂》。

Welcome to our new podcast, Viva Betty.

耶！我们将从头到尾重温这部剧集，深入探讨其中的时尚元素、戏剧冲突以及幕后花絮。

Yay. We're rewatching the series from start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind the scenes moments

你从未听说过的。

that you've never heard before.

但你还在做调酒师？

But you were still bartending?

我不知道这件事。

I didn't know that.

酒吧套装就像是，

The bar pack is like,

那是你吗？我带着她拍了这个。这是贝蒂的广告。

is that you? And I took her on it. And it's a commercial for Betty.

我当时就说，

And I was like,

我辞职了。

I quit.

收听Viva Betty的节目

Listen to Viva Betty on

在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或任何你获取播客的地方。

the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

嘿，大家好。我是Stephanie Beatriz。还有Melissa Fumero，这里是More Better。我们直接进入正题，准备好聆听你们的想法、问题和关于凉鞋配袜子的感受。

Hey, guys. It's Stephanie Beatriz. And Melissa Fumero, and this is More Better. We are jumping right in and ready to hear from you. Your thoughts, your questions, your feelings about socks with sandals.

我们也准备好分享一些可能值得商榷的建议和犀利观点。

And we're ready to share some possibly questionable advice and hot takes.

天啊，这也太糟心了。我真的很抱歉。

God, that sucks so hard, though. I'm so sorry.

你能比他们更小心眼吗？能为了好玩跟他们比谁更计较吗？没错。

Can you out petty them? Can you match their pettiness for funsies? Yeah.

所有这一切。因为我们不都在努力变得更好一点吗？在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或任何你获取播客的地方收听More Better。

All the things. Because aren't we all trying to get a little more better? Listen to more better on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

这里是iHeart播客。

This is an iHeart podcast.