365. 20多岁管理ADHD的最佳建议 ft. Chris Wang

实际上，我最近听了一期梅尔·罗宾斯的节目，其中提到的研究非常有趣，指出互联网上的所有观点实际上主要由10%的人撰写，而这10%的人通常处于极端立场。

Actually, I recently listened to a Mel Robbins episode that had research that was so interesting that talked about how all of the perspectives of the Internet were actually mostly written by, like, 10% of people, and those 10% of people generally fall in extremes.

我们都害怕违背自己认为的主流意见。

We are all scared to go against what we think is the popular opinion.

因此，当我们看到这些观点时，就会选择认同其中一种。

So we see those opinions, and we decide to ascribe to one of them.

这就是许多两极分化产生的原因。

And that's how a lot of polarization happens.

我认为在ADHD群体中，这种两极分化至少也是我们所有人所感知到的，但我相信实际上处于中间立场的人可能比我们想象的要多。

And I think within the ADHD community, this polarization is also at least I we all perceive it to be happening, but I think there are probably more people in the middle than we think.

是的。

Yeah.

好的。

Okay.

我们稍作短暂休息，回来后我们将讨论一些适合ADHD人群的工作、恋爱和生活策略。

We're gonna take a short break, but when we return, we're gonna talk some ADHD friendly strategies for work, for love, for life.

所以请继续关注我们。

So stay with us.

嗨，凯尔。

Hi, Kyle.

你能帮我起草一份简单的商业计划书吗？就一页，用谷歌文档，然后把链接发给我？

Could you draw up a quick document with the basic business plan, just one page, as a Google Doc, and send me the link?

谢谢。

Thanks.

嘿。

Hey.

我刚给你把那页纸的商业计划写好了。

Just finished drawing up that quick one page business plan for you.

这是链接。

Here's the link.

但根本没有链接。

But there was no link.

根本没有商业计划。

There was no business plan.

这不怪他。

It's not his fault.

我还没给凯尔编程实现这个功能。

I hadn't programmed Kyle to be able to do that yet.

我的名字是埃文·拉蒂夫。

My name is Evan Ratliff.

在听了OpenAI首席执行官萨姆·阿尔特曼说的很多类似事情后，我决定创造我的AI联合创始人凯尔。

I decided to create Kyle, my AI cofounder, after hearing a lot of stuff like this from OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.

现在有一个赌局，预测第一年会出现一家由单人创立的十亿美元公司，这在没有AI的情况下是难以想象的，但现在它将会发生。

There's this betting pool for the first year that that there's a one person billion dollar company, which would have been, like, unimaginable without AI, and now it will happen.

我开始想，我能不能成为那个人？

I got to thinking, could I be that one person?

我之前为我获奖的播客《壳牌游戏》制作过AI代理。

I'd made AI agents before for my award winning podcast, Shell Game.

在《Shell Game》本季中，我正试图用虚假的人打造一家拥有真实产品的公司。

This season on Shell Game, I'm trying to build a real company with a real product run by fake people.

嘿，埃文。

Oh, hey, Evan.

很高兴你加入我们。

Good to have you join us.

我找到了一些关于AI代理在中小型企业中采用率的有趣数据。

I found some really interesting data on adoption rates for AI agents and small to medium businesses.

在iHeartRadio应用或你收听播客的任何平台收听《Shell Game》。

Listen to Shell Game on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎收听《解读女性健康》。

Welcome to Decoding Women's Health.

我是医生。

I'm Doctor.

伊丽莎白·波因特纳，纽约市Atria健康研究所女性健康与妇科主任。

Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Atria Health Institute in New York City.

在本节目中，我将与顶尖的研究人员和临床医生对话，回答你们最关心的问题，直接为您提供有关女性健康和更年期的信息。

On this show, I'll be talking to top researchers and top clinicians, asking them your burning questions and bringing that information about women's health and midlife directly to you.

百分之百的女性都会经历更年期。

A hundred percent of women go through menopause.

更年期可能严重影响我们的生活质量，但即使它是自然现象，我们为何要忍受痛苦？

It can be such a struggle for our quality of life, but even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it?

人们常提到的症状是健忘，什么都记不住。

The types of symptoms that people talk about is forgetting everything.

我以前从不会忘记事情。

I never used to forget things.

他们担心一方面自己得了痴呆症，另一方面又怀疑自己是否患有多动症。

They're concerned that one, they have dementia and the other one is do I have ADHD?

大麻和大麻素在改善睡眠、减轻疼痛、提升情绪以及提高日常生活质量方面展现出前所未有的潜力。

There is unprecedented promise with regard to cannabis and cannabinoids to sleep better, to have less pain, to have better mood and also to have better day to day life.

收听由医生主讲的《解码女性健康》。

Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Doctor.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您现在收听的任何平台收听伊丽莎白·波因特。

Elizabeth Poynter on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening now.

塑造我们的时刻，往往始于一个简单的问题。

The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question.

我现在希望我的生活是什么样子？

What do I want my life to look like now?

我是博士。

I'm Doctor.

我是乔·哈登·布拉德福德博士，在《黑人女孩的治疗》节目中，我们为关于身份、心理健康以及帮助我们成长的选择创造坦诚对话的空间。

Joy Harden Bradford and on Therapy for Black Girls, we create space for honest conversations about identity, mental health, and the choices that help us grow.

正如网络安全专家卡米尔·斯图尔特·格洛斯特提醒我们的那样

As cybersecurity expert Camille Stewart Gloster reminds us

我们正处在一个分裂的时代，我们的言论被用来对抗我们。

We are in a divisive time where our comments are weaponized against us.

因此，我们发现许多黑人女性挺身而出、发声，因为她们承受了最多的痛苦。

And so what we find is a lot of black women are standing up and speaking out because they feel the brunt of the pain.

每周，我们都会探讨帮助你有目的地前行的工具和见解，无论你正在应对新事物还是回归自我。

Each week, we explore the tools and insights that help you move with purpose, whether you're navigating something new or returning to yourself.

如果你准备好接受深思熟虑的指导和踏实的支持，这里就是为你准备的地方。

If you're ready for thoughtful guidance and grounded support, this is the place for you.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《黑人女孩的心理治疗》。

Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你好。

Hi.

博士。

Doctor.

这里是幸福实验室的洛里·桑托斯。

Lori Santos from the Happiness Lab here.

现在是给予的季节，因此我的播客与非营利组织 GiveDirectly 合作，该组织向极端贫困人口提供他们所需的现金援助。

It's the season of giving, which is why my podcast is partnering with GiveDirectly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need.

今年，我们参与了‘播客对抗贫困’活动。

This year, we're taking part in the Pods Fight Poverty campaign.

这不仅仅是《幸福实验室》的行动。

And it's not just the Happiness Lab.

我一些最喜欢的播客主持人也在参与其中。

Some of my favorite podcasters are also taking part.

比如《专注人生》的杰·沙蒂、《十分幸福》的丹·哈里斯，以及《上帝如何运作》的戴夫·迪斯滕诺等等。

Think Jay Shetty from On Purpose, Dan Harris from ten percent Happier, and Dave Disteno from How God Works and more.

我们今年的目标是筹集100万美元，帮助卢旺达700多个生活在极端贫困中的家庭。

Our goal this year is to raise $1,000,000, which will help over 700 families in Rwanda living in extreme poverty.

以下是具体操作方式。

Here's how it works.

您向GiveDirectly捐款，他们会将这笔现金直接交给有需要的家庭。

You donate to give directly, and they put that cash directly into the hands of families in need.

因为这些家庭最清楚自己需要什么，无论是购买牲畜来肥沃农田、支付学费，还是创办小生意。

Because those families know best what they need, whether it's buying livestock to fertilize their farm, paying school fees, or starting a small business.

有了这样的支持，家庭可以投资未来，创造持久的改变。

With that support, families can invest in their future and build lasting change.

所以，请加入我和你喜爱的播客主持人，一起参与“播客对抗贫困”活动。

So join me and your favorite podcasters in the Pods Fight Poverty campaign.

前往 givedirectly.org/happinesslab 了解更多信息并做出捐赠。

Head to givedirectly.org/happinesslab to learn more and make a contribution.

如果你是首次捐赠者，Giving Multiplier 还将匹配你的捐赠金额。

And if you're a first time donor, Giving Multiplier will even match your gift.

要捐赠，请访问 givedirectly.org/happinesslab。

That's givedirectly.org/happinesslab to donate.

你好。

Hi.

我是普里扬卡·瓦利医生。

I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.

我是哈里·昆达博格鲁。

And I'm Hari Kundaboglu.

在我们的新播客《健康那些事》中，我们将为你解开那些令人困惑的健康问题。

On our new podcast health stuff, we demystify your burning health questions.

你会听到我们对自己健康问题的坦诚分享。

You'll hear us being completely honest about our own health.

我现在谈的是非常严肃的事情，而你却在笑我。

I'm talking about very serious stuff right now, and you're laughing laughing at me.

你还会听到专家们坦诚的建议和个人故事，他们希望让医疗更加人性化。

And you'll hear candid advice and personal stories from experts who want to make healthcare more human.

有时候，你的角色是倾听、理解、共情，也许为他们正在经历的事情提供一种认知或命名。

Sometimes you're there to listen, to understand, to empathize, maybe to give them an understanding or a name for what's going on.

这种理解对人们帮助很大，让他们知道这并不是只存在于他们的想象中。

That helps people a lot, understanding that it's not just in their head.

我们正在拆解科学原理，与专家对话，并分享你真正能用得上的实用健康建议。

We are breaking down the science, talking with experts, and sharing practical health tips you can actually use

融入你的日常生活。

in your day to day life.

从何时使用或避免人工照明，到如何睡得更好。

From when to utilize and avoid artificial light to how to sleep better.

关于纤维素和如何更好地排便，你需要知道的一切。

Everything you need to know about fiber and how to poop better.

如何减轻时差的影响，以及在困境中保持希望。

How to minimize the effects of jet lag and how to stay hopeful in times of distress.

我们人类，一切皆源于连接。

We human beings, all we connection.

我们只是渴望彼此相连。

We just wanna connect with each other.

我们希望让健康变得不那么复杂，甚至带点趣味。

We wanna make health less confusing and maybe even a little fun.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台找到健康相关内容。

Find health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

前几天有位听众联系我，她说：我真的想知道，作为一位 ADHD 患者，我该如何应对执行功能障碍。

So I had this listener reach out to me the other day, and she was like, I really wanna know how I can manage my executive dysfunction as somebody with ADHD.

我只好说：其实我不太清楚，但我回头查查再告诉你。

And I kind of had to be like, I don't really know, but let me get back to you.

让我问问真正知道的人。

Let me ask someone who does know.

那么，你用了哪些策略来帮助自己应对截止日期、保持专注以及缓解职业倦怠？

So what are some of the strategies that you've used to help yourself with deadlines, with focus, with burnout in your career?

嗯。

Yeah.

所以我的前半部分回答可能不太受欢迎，因为人们总是想要捷径。

So the first half of my answer is gonna be an unpopular one because people always want hacks.

但首先明确你究竟要去哪里非常重要，因为你可能并不需要解决你以为自己需要解决的问题。

But it is so important to first identify where exactly you are going and because you might not need to fix the thing that you think you need to fix.

我会先说这一点，把它讲清楚，即使没人会听，因为人们总是想要捷径。

I will first say that and get that out of the way even though nobody will listen to me because people always want the hacks.

对我来说，最有帮助的一些方法是，首先重新认识一点：并非所有问题的解决方案都需要通过我自身做出改变来实现。

So for me, some of the things that have been the most helpful is first one is the reframe that not everything needs not all the solutions need to come from me doing something different internally.

很多情况下，更简单的方法是让你的生活环境变得不同，因为这样能持续产生积极效果。

It a lot of it, and it's easier, is if you set up your life to be different because then it's a gift that keeps on giving.

因此，这可能意味着以某种方式布置你的环境，使其有利于你集中注意力。

So that might be setting up your environment in a certain way that is conducive for you to be able to focus.

这可能包括在你家里设置一个专门用于工作的房间，以及另一个从不工作的房间，这样可以帮助你的大脑区分‘工作模式’和‘非工作模式’。

It might be having a specific room in your house where you're working and then another room where you never work in, and then that helps trigger your brain into, I'm in work mode, and I'm not in work mode.

这还可能包括建立一些全家人都了解的系统。

And it might be having certain systems that your whole family knows about.

其中一个非常常见的例子是，现在很多人在家工作，尤其是从事写作的人。

So one that is really common is people who work from home, which is a lot of people now with their writing.

他们会在家门上贴一个小标志，让他们的孩子和伴侣都知道，这意味着‘我正在深度写作中’，因此他们不会打扰。

Will put a little sign on their door where their kid and their partner all know that this means, like, I'm in deep writing mode, and so they don't get that distraction.

所以，再次强调，我给出的这些都是一些小例子，因为所有这些方法都源于从你的挑战和目标出发进行反向思考。

So, again, all of these, I'm giving, like, little examples because it it all comes from working back from what your challenge is and what your goal is.

所以，如果这些方法对你无效，我也不会建议你完全放弃它们。

So if these things don't work for you, I would not also abandon them.

你需要思考如何更好地将这些方法融入你的生活。

You need to think about what how how you can implement that better in your life.

这就引出了另一个对我非常有帮助的点：了解自己的动机，并将它们融入到工作中。

And so that kinda brings me to another one that has been so helpful for me is learning what your motivators are and then injecting that into your work.

比如，对我来说，新鲜感和责任感是我最强的两大动机。

So for example, for me, novelty and accountability are two of my strongest motivators.

所以当我无法完成某件事时，我会问自己：有没有办法加入一些责任感？

So when I can't get something done, I ask myself, okay, what is a way that I can put accountability into it?

我是否需要跟我的联合创始人说，在下次工作时，他要检查我这件事的进展？

Do I have to say with my cofounder that in our next working session, he needs to check-in with me on this?

这就是责任感。

Like, that's accountability.

或者对于新鲜感，我是不是很久以来就想做这件事，却一直没做？

Or for novelty, do I've been wanting to do this thing for a long time and I can't do it.

我是否需要改用Canva来做，用粉色而不是Excel，之后再转移过去？

Do I need to do it on Canva and put it in pink instead of doing it on Excel, and then just move it later on?

所以首先要真正理解你的动机是什么，你可以通过回顾过去，比如一周，甚至一天，如果你一时想不起一周的情况，那就想想那天哪些时刻让你最兴奋、最有动力，然后思考当时发生了什么。

So really understanding first what are your motivators, and that you can figure out by looking backwards at, let's say, a week or even a day if you can't think back at a week and think about what are the moments of the day that you were most excited and most motivated, and think through what was there for you.

最常见的动机是新奇感、兴趣、热情、责任感和紧迫感。

So the most common ones are novelty, interest, passion, accountability, urgency.

这些是ADHD人群常见的动机，但你也可能会发现其他适合你的动机。

Those are some of the ones that are common for people with ADHD, but you might discover that there are other motivators for you as well.

第三点我想说的是，对我帮助极大的是能量管理。

And then the third thing I will say that has been so helpful for me is energy management.

ADHD人群通常有较晚的昼夜节律。

So people with ADHD have a generally a late set circadian rhythm.

他们喜欢晚睡。

They sleep Mhmm.

倾向于晚睡晚起。

Want to sleep later and wake up later.

我们一天中的能量水平也更加波动不定。

We also have more erratic energy bursts throughout the day.

很长一段时间里，我一直在试图对抗这一点。

And for a long time, I tried to fight against that.

你脑子里总有一些想法，比如我应该像别人一样保持一贯的效率。

It just you have these narratives in your head of, like, I should be able to be as consistent as everyone else.

为什么我就不能从九点工作到五点呢？

Like, why can't I work from nine till five?

但还有些日子，你会连续工作十二、十四个小时。

And then there's these other days where you just work for, like, twelve, fourteen hours straight.

一下子就把一整周的工作都做完了。

You knock out, like, a whole weeks of work.

可第二天，你又没法按时九点到五点工作了，于是你开始疑惑为什么。

And then the next day, you're you can't do your nine to five, and you wonder why.

那是因为你前一天已经干完了一整周的工作。

Well, because you just knocked out a whole week of work the day before.

所以，真正了解你的能量状态很重要：弄清楚一天中什么时候你最有活力，可以把深度工作安排在那时；什么时候你处于低谷，也许出去散步会帮你恢复精力，因为这真的能让你振作起来。

So really learning what your energy looks like, what times of the day you are energized, and maybe putting deep work during that time, what times of the day you are in maybe more of a crash mode, and maybe you wanna do a walk outside because, you know, that that really brings you up.

另外，如果你是女性，通常根据你的荷尔蒙周期，你一个月内的能量水平也会有所不同。

And also, if you're a woman, oftentimes, depending on your hormonal cycle, your energy won't look the same throughout the month.

因此，这种觉察再次出现，然后将这种觉察与相应类型的任务相匹配。

So that awareness again, and then matching that awareness with what sort of tasks go in there.

所以，这里的核心信息其实是学会如何与你的大脑和身体协同工作，而不是与之对抗。

And so the meta kind of message here is really figuring out how you can work with your brain and body instead of fighting against it.

因为很多时候，我们之所以对抗它，是因为我们认为必须按照别人的方式去做事。

Because oftentimes, we fight against it because we think that we need to do things in a way that we've just seen other people do.

当我们听别人分享的建议时，这些通常来自神经典型的人，而且通常是适用于大多数人的普遍方法。

And when we listen to how other people like, the tips that other people put out there, they're generally from people who are neurotypical who and it generally is the average thing that works for everyone.

如果你患有注意力缺陷多动障碍（ADHD），那你通常不会特别平均。

And if you have ADHD, you're generally not super average.

是的。

Yeah.

很可能不是。

Probably not.

我想聊聊你提到的那一个词，就是紧迫感。

I wanna talk about that this one word you mentioned which was urgency.

而且，是的，紧迫感在ADHD中起着什么作用。

And, yeah, how urgency plays a role in in ADHD.

我个人觉得，我读过很多研究，表明紧迫感效应要强得多。

Personally, I feel like I've read a lot of research that, like, the urgency effect is a lot stronger.

因此，患有ADHD的人通常更喜欢在紧迫的截止日期下工作。

So people with ADHD often prefer working under a tight deadline.

你建议人们如何管理这种情况呢？因为他们也想主动避免在截止前才压力爆棚，而是希望把事情做到最好，而不是最快。

How do you how do you suggest people manage that when they also, you know, wanna be proactive about not being stressed right up to the time that something is due or doing something the best that they can do it rather than the fastest they can do it?

他们该如何平衡这一点呢？

How do they kind of navigate that?

比如，一方面想在最有激情的时刻立刻行动，另一方面又想把事情做好，这种复杂性。

Like, the complexity of, like, wanting to do it in the moment when you have the most adrenaline and wanting to do it well.

是的。

Yeah.

这确实是个难题，因为我们都知道，我们做事时效果更好。

So that's a really tough one because we all know that we do things better.

比如，对于多动症患者来说，我们往往在最后一刻才能把事情做得更好。

Like, with ADHD, that we do things better at the last minute.

但问题在于，在那之前你可能会经历极大的羞耻感，

But the problem is you probably face a large degree of shame leading up to that moment where

嗯。

Mhmm.

可能长达几周甚至几个月，你一直在想着那件事，想着自己为什么就是不做，觉得自己有多差劲，应该怎么做。

For maybe weeks or months, you are thinking about the thing and you're thinking about how you're just not doing the thing and how bad you are and how you should be doing it.

这种压力一直压在你身上，代价真的非常大。

And that just weighs on you, and that is a really, really large cost.

所以对每个人来说情况都不同。

And so it's different for each person.

如果你觉得这种代价对你来说并不大，一种选择是：我确实听说过有些人说，我接受自己总是在最后一刻才做事，那就这样吧。

If you feel like that cost is not big not big for you, one option is I do I have heard of people who are like, I just accept that I do things at the last minute, and I will do it.

这也取决于你从事什么工作。

And it depends on what job you have as well.

有些人能做到这一点。

Some people are able to do that.

有些人做不到。

Some people aren't.

所以我要先说，你可能并不需要解决这个问题。

So I'll first say that, like, you might not need to solve it.

也许你需要解决的是反复思虑的部分，也许你需要解决的是紧迫感的部分。

Maybe you need to solve the part where you're ruminating, and maybe you need to solve the urgency part.

真正弄清楚你需要解决的是哪一部分。

Really figuring out which part you need to solve.

但如果你确实想避免在最后一刻才做事——我在我自己的工作中通常做不到——我采用的方法是，利用我的动力制造一些微小的紧迫时刻。

But if you do want to not do things at the very last minute, which I generally can't in my job, I the way that I've done it is is one way is by building in, like, micro urgency moments using my motivators.

所以，again，就像之前举的例子。

So, again, similar examples before.

如果我知道有一个大项目要交，我会在做项目规划时，尽量设置多个小的紧迫节点。

If I know that there's a big project that's due, I try not to make I try when I do the project planning part, I try to build in multiple smaller urgency moments for me.

所以我会在季度中期安排一次会议，我知道那时需要某人的反馈，而他们也在等我提供内容，我们事先已经沟通好，那天我们会讨论这件事。

So I will do a meeting maybe a quarter way through where I know I need someone's feedback, and they're waiting for my for what I have, and we've communicated ahead of time that on this day, we're gonna talk about this thing.

对我来说，有这个预设安排就足以让我完成四分之一的工作了。

And that for me is enough for me to be able to do that quarter of the work because I have that preset out for me.

如果你有——我称之为优势——比如你有助理，或者你在使用某种AI工具，让它们帮你安排这些，因为它们知道你需要这些，可以帮你设置会议。如果我的日历上有会议，我知道每个人都不一样，但只要日历上有会议，我就会为它做准备。

And if you have the, I would say, privilege, let's say, you have an assistant or if you're using some AI tool, having them be able to do that for you because they know that you need that and setting the meeting if there's a meeting in my calendar, and I know everyone's different from me, if there's a meeting in my calendar, I will prepare for it.

如果我的日历上没有会议，我就不会准备。

If there's no meeting in my calendar, I won't prepare for it.

所以，如果和别人有会议，我更有可能会准备。

So and if there's a meeting with someone else, I will more likely prepare for

哇。

a Wow.

所以，充分利用你自己的动机，并额外设置一些紧迫感时刻，真的很有帮助。

So just really pulling on all of those your own motivators and then building in extra urgency moments is really helpful.

然后另一件事是，很多时候我们做某件事。

And then another thing is really just a lot of the times we do something.

假设我们一直拖到最后一刻，然后仓促地完成这件事，压力巨大。

Let's say we wait until the last minute, and then we do this thing really stressfully.

然后我们会说：天哪。

And then we say, oh my gosh.

我再也不这样做了。

I'm never doing this again.

这太有压力了。

This is so stressful.

我讨厌这样。

I hate this.

但一个月内，你就忘了。

And then within a month, you forget.

你完全忘记了这次的教训。

You totally forget that learning.

这非常普遍，不仅限于这个例子，而是很多情况都如此。

That is so common, not just for this example, but so many examples.

所以我认为另一件非常重要的事情是找到属于自己的方式，确保能记录下过去学到的东西。

So I think one thing that's also really important is finding your own way of making sure you capture the things that you've learned in the past.

对我来说，我用的是Shimmer，但这不仅仅记录负面的教训，也记录成功的时刻。

And so, I mean, with me, I use Shimmer, but I it's not just negative and, like, learnings, but also wins.

我在手机、笔记本电脑和邮箱里都建了这样一个文件夹。

So I have a folder in my phone and in my laptop and in my email.

我会记录下各种评价、照片，比如有人给我发来Instagram评论，说我的某个视频改变了他们的生活。

I have three different ones that I just capture, like, testimonials, photos, when someone sends me an Instagram comment that says that, like, my x video has changed their life.

因为我需要这些事情的提醒。

And because I need reminders of those things.

因为在状态不好的日子里，我会忘记这一切。

Because on days where I'm not doing so hot, I will forget.

然后我会想，哇。

And I'll be like, wow.

难道这一切都白费了？我根本没有改变过任何人的生活，只是在徒劳地拼命工作。

Like, all this is for nothing and nobody I've not changed anyone's life, and I've just been here working myself off for no reason.

所以我脑子里会形成这些叙事。

And so I get these narratives in my head.

当我能看看这些照片或这些消息时，它会提醒我，让我回到过去，因为注意力缺陷多动障碍（ADHD）的人很难记住过去，尤其是在情绪失控的时候。

And when I can just look at these pictures or look at these messages, it reminds me and kinda grounds me in the past because it's harder for people with ADHD to remember the past, especially when they're in, like, a emotionally dysregulated moment.

是的。

Yeah.

我只能想象这会有多困难？

I can I can only imagine how tricky that would be?

就是觉得，我永远记不住别人对我说过的好话。

Just being like, oh, I can never remember a good thing that anyone said to me.

自尊和ADHD的交集，简直是一个完全不同的话题。

Like, the the the intersection of, like, self esteem and ADHD is like a whole another conversation.

我有个朋友，说到紧迫感和截止日期的问题时。

I had a friend who actually speaking of, like, the urgency stuff and meeting deadlines.

每学期刚开始，当我们还在大学时，他都会把所有课程的大纲过一遍，然后把所有截止日期都提前三天记在日历里。

At the start of every single semester when we were at uni, he would go through all the course syllabuses and then put all of the deadlines in his in his calendar three days beforehand.

他基本上是这样想的：我要利用我知道自己记忆力不好的特点，有些任务他甚至会提前三天安排。

And he kind of was like, I'm gonna use my mem the fact that I know I'm not gonna have great memory recall to, like and some of them he'd do, like, three.

有些任务他会提前五天安排。

Some of them he'd do, like, five.

有些任务他会提前两天安排。

Some of them he'd do, like, two days beforehand.

提前一天时，他会说：我就直接相信自己记不住哪些任务对应哪个截止日期了。

One day beforehand, he was like, I'm just gonna, you know, go and, you know, trust that I'm not gonna remember which ones I did for which of these.

我就完全相信日历上的安排，在那个日期前完成任务，这样等到截止日来临时，我就能感受到紧迫感。

I'm just gonna trust what's in my calendar and get it done at this date so that by the time that rolls around, like, I get to feel the urgency.

我提前把工作做完，然后就有一整天的时间来修改。

I finished the work, and then I have, like, a day to edit.

或者有一整天的时间来修正。

Or have, like, a day to fix it.

或者我就直接提交，然后惊喜地发现截止日期还没到。

Or I just submit, and I'm, like, happily surprised by the fact that the deadline hasn't passed yet.

我觉得对有些人来说这行不通，但我亲眼看到这对他非常有效。

I feel like for some people that wouldn't work, but I saw it work incredibly well for him.

老实说，我当时看着他，心想：你怎么能这样欺骗自己呢？

It was like, honestly, I was like watching it being like, how do you just lie to yourself like that?

而且很奇怪的是，他明明知道这是个谎言，却还是相信了。

And like, it was so weird like he knew that it was a lie and he would still believe it.

最有趣的是，他找到了一种针对自己大脑的‘技巧’。

Even like, it was just the most interesting thing that he'd found, like, this hack for his his brain.

我太喜欢这个了。

I love that.

没错。

Yeah.

他是把记忆外化了，而且即使到了那一刻，尽管他知道真相，但仍然需要花很多精力去计算，确实如此。

He's I mean, he's externalizing his memory and also once he gets there, even though he knows, it's still a lot of effort to do the calculation and Exactly.

所有这些。

All of that.

这就像我觉得很多人都会做的事情。

It was kind of like when I I think a lot of people did this.

这不仅仅是多动症的问题，当我年轻的时候，我的钟表总是快五分钟。

It's not just an ADHD thing, but my when I was younger, my clock was always five minutes ahead.

我把所有的钟表都调快了五分钟。

I put all my clocks five minutes ahead.

我知道这是个谎言，但你就是不会去不停地计算时间。

And I knew it was a lie, but you just don't like, I'm not constantly calculating the time.

我只是最终到达目的地时，觉得自己早到了五分钟。

I just end up getting to places, I think five minutes.

我以为自己会提前五分钟到，结果却刚好准时，这再完美不过了。

I thought I would be there five minutes early, but then I'd be there on time, which is perfect.

天哪。

Oh my god.

完美。

Perfect.

嗯。

Yeah.

你看，我从来没这么做过，因为我就是知道，那不是事实。

See, I never did that because I just knew I was like, well, that's not the truth.

但另一方面，我有执行功能，可以做到

But then again, like, I had executive function where I could

就只是想，哦，我干脆早点到。

just be like, oh, I'll just get

早到十分钟。

there ten minutes early.

嗯。

Yeah.

所以这挺有意思的，也许吧。

So it's like interesting how like maybe yeah.

不同的人做这些事情的方式真是太有趣了。

It's just so interesting how different people do those things.

我想谈谈爱情。

I wanna talk about love.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我想先谈谈拒绝敏感性。

I wanna start by talking about rejection sensitivity.

这个词我经常在谈论ADHD时听到。

This is a word that I hear in regards to ADHD all the time.

我以前做过一期关于这个的节目。

I've done an episode on it before.

我对它有相当一般的了解。

I have a I think a pretty general knowledge of it.

你能给我们解释一下吗？

Can you talk us through it?

为什么它在ADHD人群中如此普遍？

Why is it so common amongst people with ADHD?

我想我的第三个问题是，抱歉。

And I guess my third question so sorry.

一次性提三个问题。

Three questions at once.

人们该如何应对它？

How can people manage it?

但首先，它是什么？

But firstly, what is it?

为什么

Why is

它这么常见？

it common?

然后我们可以谈谈应对它的方法。

And then we can talk about tips for managing it.

所以，拒绝敏感性情绪障碍，通常被称为RSD，本质上是一种现象，我想你可以称之为，ADHD患者会感到自己被他人拒绝，或觉得周围充满负面情绪。

So rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which is commonly known as RSD, is essentially a phenomenon, I guess you can call it, where people with ADHD will feel like they're rejected by other people or feel like there's negative sentiment coming towards them.

它被定义为真实的或感知到的拒绝。

And it's defined as, like, real or perceived rejection.

因此，它通常属于第二种情况，即感知到的拒绝。

So oftentimes, it falls in that second category of perceived.

这通常是由于情绪失调造成的——当我们感受到某种情绪时，就会立刻抓住它，然后这种情绪会越来越大，最终我们完全沉浸在这种情绪中。

And it's generally created through well, one, emotional dysregulation of us just the moment we feel something, we, like, jump on that feeling and then it becomes bigger and bigger, and then we're kind of just swimming in that feeling.

或者，这也是因为我们一生中不断有人告诉我们，我们错了，或者我们做错了事。

Or or or I guess and it's also because we've had an entire lifetime of people telling us that we were wrong or we're doing it the wrong way.

然后我们内化了这些观点，并继续对自己这样说。

And then we've internalized that, and then we continue to tell ourselves that.

因此，每当出现一些微小的信号时，你就会觉得自己做错了什么。

And so whenever there's, like, a small, I guess, like, signal, you you feel like you've done something wrong.

比如我，每当我与别人发生争执，无论是工作还是人际关系，我都会100%地认为自己错了。

And so for me, for example, like, whenever I'm in an argument with someone, work or relationships, I will always think that I'm wrong, like, a 100% of the time.

这就是我的第一反应。

That's my immediate reaction.

有时候人们需要说服我，这在关系中发生过，他们说：不。

Sometimes people need to convince me, and this has happened in relationships where they're like, no.

不。

No.

让我们来谈谈这件事。

Like, let's have a conversation about this.

没有对错之分。

There's no right or wrong.

我们只是试图达成一种理解。

We're just trying to get to a understanding.

所以我一直在努力摒弃这种想法。

And so I've been on I've been unlearning that.

我只是想：哦，不。

I'm just like, oh, no.

我一定做错了什么。

I must have done something wrong.

你一定很讨厌我。

Like, you must hate me.

对于大多数多动症患者来说，这种终身的重新学习就是这样。

So it is for most people with ADHD, this lifelong unlearning.

从逻辑上讲，我知道在别人的情况下，往往并没有对错之分，但我就是会有这种感觉。

And especially in like, logically, I know in people's situations, it's there's no there's often not like a wrong, but I just feel that way.

所以，我想你问题的第二部分是，人们该如何应对这种情况。

And so I guess your second part of the question of, like, what people can do with it.

是的。

Yeah.

对我而言，最有帮助的一点，也是我在教练指导下一直在努力的，同时我们的许多会员也遇到的，就是真正理解自己的触发点，以及这些情况最常在哪些情境下出现。

One really, for me, that's been most helpful and I've been working on with coaching that comes up for a lot of our members too, is really understanding, like, what your triggers are and what sort of situations these come up with, come up in the most.

这不仅适用于拒绝敏感性障碍，也适用于冲动行为。

And this actually goes for not just RSD, but also impulsivity.

我经常做出一些冲动又愚蠢的事情，自己却意识不到错了，直到事情发生后，别人告诉我，我才明白伤害了别人。

It's the same thing where I do a lot of impulsive stupid things, and I don't realize it's wrong and it's hurt people until after it's done and people communicate it to me.

对于这两件事，我和我的教练一起努力的是，分别弄清楚在哪些情境下这些情况通常会发生。

And for both of those things, what I worked on with my coach is separately for those two things, understanding what situations do those commonly happen in.

当你即将进入类似的情境时，仅仅意识到这一点就很有帮助，比如关于冲动行为，可能是在喝酒的时候。

And just the awareness of that when you're about to step into a situation like that, like, for example, with impulsivity, maybe it's drinking.

你可以对自己进行一番鼓励，说：好吧。

And you can have that pep talk with yourself to say, okay.

比如，我正带着觉知进入这个情境。

Like, I'm entering this situation with awareness.

因此，你可能会意识到自己的RSD（拒绝敏感恐惧）即将被触发。

And so you can it could be awareness that your RSD might be triggered.

也可能是意识到自己可能会有冲动行为，这样你就可以采取同样的解决方法——暂停一下。

It could be awareness that you might do something impulsive so that you can put, and it's the same solution again, you can put that pause.

所以当别人说了什么话，你的大脑立刻开始胡思乱想时，你需要养成暂停的习惯。

So when someone says something and you immediately your brain starts spiraling, you need to get into the practice of putting the pause.

冲动行为也是如此，当你即将做出冲动举动时，你需要学会如何按下暂停键。

And same with impulsivity, when you're about to have an impulsive moment and you just need to figure out how to put the pause.

因此，你能为自己做的最好的事情就是了解这种情况通常在什么时候发生。

And so the best thing you can do for yourself is understanding when that generally happens.

因为这并不是随机的。

Because it's not it's not random.

对每个人来说，这种情况发生的场景都不同。

For each person, it's gonna be in different situations where that happens.

所以，真正要明白的是，在这种情境下，这类对话通常会让我有这种感受。

And so really just knowing in this situation, these sorts of conversations generally make me feel this way.

如果这种情况发生了，我就要这么做。

And if that happens, I'm going to do this.

如果你在平静、理智的时候提前制定好计划，并且最好把它写下来，我刚开始做这个练习时，就曾用便利贴，把它贴在衣柜里，那里是我出门前更可能喝酒的地方。

And if you have that plan beforehand when you're calm and collected and you've written that down ideally, I used to have I think when I first started this exercise, I used to have a sticky note, and I would, like, put it in my closet where I would, like, get dressed before going out where I would more likely to drink.

所以，关键是把它放在你容易看到的地方，提醒自己这一点。

And so really just, like, putting it where you would need to see it to remind yourself of that.

随着时间推移，你需要提醒自己的次数会越来越少，因为你的大脑已经逐渐被训练成：一触发，就产生想法，然后能阻止那个想法。

And over time, you'll need to remind yourself less because your brain is kind of trained to go trigger and then thought and then, like, being able to block that thought.

这就像把自己放在等候室里。

It's like putting yourself in a waiting room.

这听起来就像这样。

That's like what that sounds like to me.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我觉得，在我们做出反应或采取行动之前，强迫自己先静下心来待一会儿。

I'm like, okay, before we react or like before we do something, like, forcing forcing yourself to like sit with it for a little bit.

没错。

Exactly.

而且要知道你什么时候可能需要进入这个等候室，因为确实如此。

And knowing when you might need to be in that waiting room because Yeah.

当你情绪失控时，可能就无法把自己放进这个等候室了。

When you're emotionally dysregulated, you might not be able to put yourself in that waiting room.

所以，没错。

So like Yeah.

本质上是给你的大脑设置一个自动模式：如果发生这种情况，我就进入等待室。

Basically giving your brain an autopilot saying like, if this happens, I go to waiting room.

对。

Yeah.

这就像是一个如果那么的规则。

So it's like a if then.

我超喜欢这个。

Which I love.

我简直无法想象，如果一个人对任何稍微无礼或有点不对劲的言论，甚至只是误解为对方不喜欢自己，那会是什么感觉。

And I just like can't imagine what it would feel like to be like, everybody who says something slightly rude or just slightly off or not even, like you just interpret them as like not liking you.

我朋友其实跟我提过一个‘25%法则’，意思是实际上只有很少一部分人——大概25%的人——你永远无法让他们喜欢你。

My friend actually told me about this rule, which is like the 25% rule, which is there is like actually only a small amount of people, maybe 25% of people, who you will never convince not to like you.

或者你永远无法让他们改变对你的看法。

Or who you will never convince to like you.

抱歉。

Sorry.

这正是我该说的。

That's what I should say.

永远不会让你被喜欢。

Never convinced to like you.

这相当于四分之一，听起来可能很多，但其实只是在算一笔账：并不是每个人都不可能不喜欢我。

And that's like one in four, which might sound like a huge number, but it's just kind of like doing the math of like, actually not every single person could possibly not like me.

但我也接受，也许真的有四分之一的人会这样。

But also, I'm down to accept that maybe, like, a quarter of them will.

这是一种每个人都会遇到的必然情况。

And that's just a certainty that everyone's gonna find themselves in.

所以我不确定这是否有帮助。

So I don't know if that's also helpful.

但没错。

But yeah.

那简直太疯狂了。

It would just be wild.

是的。

Yeah.

我认为另一点是，每当我有某种感觉，比如RSD，我通常觉得这更多反映的是我自己，而不是别人。

And I think the other thing is I often whenever I have a feeling, RSD is one of them, I often think that it's less of a reflection on the other person, and it's usually a reflection on myself.

所以我想给出的另一个建议是，如果你觉得每个人都在对你有负面想法，也许其实并没有，但我建议你反思一下，是不是你自己在对自己有负面想法。

So I would say the other tip that I would have is if you think that everyone's having some sort of negative thought towards yourself, it might not be, but I would challenge to think if you maybe have that negative thought towards yourself.

如果是这样的话，你就需要努力去强化自己的优点，回顾过去的成功，真正建立起自信心——这需要不断让自己走出舒适区，看到事情会朝着好的方向发展，并相信自己能够应对这些情况。

And so if that is the case, then you need to do the work to be able to reinforce your strengths, reinforce past wins, to really build up your self confidence, which is it's a practice of building self confidence of continuing to put yourself out there and seeing that things are gonna go well for you and that you can handle these situations.

随着你自信心的增强，你会发现，这些情境下你不太会再觉得别人不喜欢你，因为你已经足够坚定地支持自己。

And so as you build up your self confidence, you will find that these situations, you'll less likely feel like other people don't like you because you back yourself so hard.

但这是一段漫长的旅程。

And that's such a long journey.

对吧？

Right?

但你要努力达到这样一个状态：你如此坚定地支持自己，以至于根本不会去想别人不喜欢你。

But, like, you wanna get to the point where you back yourself so hard that you wouldn't think that they don't like you.

但即使你有所有迹象表明他们不喜欢你，这也不会影响你，因为根本不重要，你如此支持自己。

But even if you had all the signals that they didn't like you, it wouldn't even impact you because it doesn't matter because you back yourself so much.

是的。

Yeah.

这一点我非常喜欢。

Which I love.

我甚至觉得，作为一个没有注意力缺陷多动障碍的人，这也是如此。

I'm like, this is something I find even as someone without ADHD.

最让人受伤的事情，往往是你觉得可能是真的那些事。

It's like this the things that sting the most are the things that you think might be true.

没错。

Exactly.

而这确实是每个人都有的经历。

And that's like, that's something that is for everybody.

所以就是这样。

So it's like Yes.

这种痛苦是从哪里来的？

Where is that pain coming from?

我想再多聊聊关系，也许还有一些

I wanna talk about a bit more about relationships as well, and maybe some of

的

the

患有注意力缺陷多动障碍的人在恋爱或友谊中可能遇到的常见障碍或陷阱。

common hurdles or pitfalls that people with ADHD might find when they're falling in love or even in friendship.

是的。

Yeah.

我做了一系列名为《ADHD女孩的感受》和《ADHD女孩的约会》的内容。

So I did a whole series called ADHD Girl Feels and ADHD Girl Dates on this.

如果你感兴趣，真的很值得一看。

So it's it's really fun if you wanna check it out.

但我觉得，在初期阶段，一个非常常见的问题，也是个有趣的问题，因为我既做过这种事，也被人这样对待过，那就是‘爱的轰炸’。

But I think like, in the early stages, one of the really common ones, which is a interesting one, because I do this, and I've been done this too, is definitely around love bombing.

这种情况经常出现，因为它与情绪失调有关，当我们嗯。

This comes up so frequently because it's related to emotional dysregulation, and that when we Mhmm.

爱上某人时，我们通常会非常投入，甚至忽略所有信号，哪怕有红色警报或其他问题。

Fall for someone, it's very common that we fall for them, like, really hard, and then we ignore all the signals even if there's red flags or whatever it is.

我们给予对方太多的爱，有时反而会把对方吓跑。

And we pour so much love in them that it can also sometimes scare people away.

所以即使一段关系本可以成功，你也可能因为表现得太强烈而让对方感到不安。

So even in a relationship where it could have worked, maybe you just freak them out because you came on too hard.

因此，这本身就是一个挑战，但此外，当你结束初期的情绪化狂热追求后，你的伴侣可能会对你突然改变的行为方式感到震惊。

And so that in itself can be a challenge, but also then there's this transition of, like, when you finish the initial dysregulated love bombing, it can feel jarring to your partner when you suddenly, like, change the way that you act.

我知道每个人都会经历一点点这种变化，但我觉得对于ADHD患者来说，这种感受更强烈，而且非常普遍。

And I know everyone goes through a little bit of this, but I think with ADHDers, we feel this more, and it's very common.

这种整个‘爱的轰炸’现象。

This whole love bombing thing.

我认为‘爱的轰炸’显然不是正式的术语。

I think love bombing is obviously not the official term for it.

是的。

Yeah.

但所有情绪都被放大了，这是一个非常敏感的时刻，意识到这一点有时会有帮助，然后确保——我的意思是，是否想控制并放慢节奏，这取决于你自己。

But everything is heightened, and this is a very sensitive moment where it is sometimes helpful to be aware of that and then make sure your I mean, it's your choice if you wanna try to control it and slow it down.

我认为很多人会建议放慢节奏。

I think a lot of people give advice to slow it down.

但我个人觉得，对我而言，沟通更重要。

I actually just find it important to communicate for me.

我其实很享受那种强烈的感觉——彻底坠入爱河、无法自拔，我只是会向对方解释，这种事经常发生在我身上。

I actually enjoy the the really strong, I'm falling head over my feels, heels feeling, I just will explain to the person that this happens to me.

我觉得这就是正在发生的事，保持沟通开放，让对方知道我意识到这一点，我们一起做出决定。

I think this is what's happening and just keeping the communication open so that they're aware that I'm aware of this and we're kind of making the decision together.

但我知道很多人会建议一些技巧，本质上是延长这段热烈的爱恋期，以便你能以更平静的方式去探索关系。

But I know a lot of people do give the advice to there's tactics to essentially, like, kind of, like, draw that that love period out longer so that you can be able to explore things in a more calm way.

所以我认为这真的因人而异。

So I think it's really person dependent.

显然，没有标准答案。

Obviously, there's no right answer.

那你觉得

And what do

从你的经验来看，爱情高潮过去之后会发生什么？

you think or from experience, what happens after, like, the love high kind of crashes?

我觉得那种充满爱意轰炸、高度紧张的状态不可能持续太久。

Like, I feel like that that state where, you know, there may be love bombing, there may be intensity, like, can only last for so long.

然后呢？

What happens then?

是会感到厌倦，还是困惑，或者觉得已经不爱对方了？

Is it a case of, like, you get bored, or you get confused, or you think you've fallen out of love with them?

是的。

Yeah.

那种感觉是什么样的？

What does that feeling feel like?

很多时候，这种感觉确实像是无聊，我认为这是一个过程，需要弄清楚这种感觉是因为你所处的关系中的人根本不对，而你只是沉浸在所有情绪中，还是因为你还没有找到一种方式去欣赏和爱上关系中那些与初期不同的部分。

A lot of the times, it does it does feel like boredom, and I think that it there's a process of figuring out if it's because of the person in your relationship that isn't actually right, and you were just stuck in all the feelings, or if you haven't found a way to potentially value and fall in love with the other parts of a relationship, which are maybe not the same as the parts of the relationship in the beginning.

而且我认为，很多时候，因为你爱得太深，所以没有对事情进行批判性思考。

And it also, I think a lot of the times too, because you fell so hard, you weren't thinking very critically about things.

比如，我大多数神经正常的朋友们，我知道他们都有这样一份清单，列出了他们在关系中不可妥协的要求和期待的所有事情。

Like, for example, most of my neurotypical friends, I actually know that they have this, like, list of, like, nonnegotiables and things they're looking for in a relationship and all of those things.

我一直觉得这很有趣，因为我想，我没必要做这样的清单，因为我从未主动选择过任何一段关系。

And I always thought it was kind of interesting because I was like, oh, there's no point in me making that because I've actually never chosen a relationship that I've been in.

我只是不知不觉地陷了进去。

I've just fallen into it.

我不知道为什么我需要这样一份清单。

I don't know why I would have that list.

但我最近确实列了一份清单，因为我的联合创始人是神经正常的，他有这样一份清单，我们聊到了这个话题。

When would I use But I did actually recently create the list because my co founder, who is neurotypical, he had this list and we were talking about it.

于是我心想，好吧。

And I was like, okay.

我会试着列出这份清单。

I'll try to create the list.

所以，回顾这个思考过程确实有帮助，但我还不确定能否像别人那样使用它，因为我进入关系时并不那么理智。

And so it was helpful going through the thought process around it, but I'm just not sure if I would use it in the same way that or I've been able to use it in the same way because I'm not as level headed going into a relationship.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得这既可能非常有趣，又特别可怕。

Which I feel like could be both so much fun and super scary.

因为你会想，没错。

Because you're like Yeah.

我只是想随遇而安。

I'm just here for the for the ride.

不管这段关系会走向哪里，我都明白自己在最初的阶段可能无法掌控，这让我有点不确定。

Like, wherever this goes, like, I kind of know I might not be in control for the first little bit, which I don't know.

你说你喜欢这种感觉。

You said you enjoy the feeling.

所以

So

听起来挺有趣的。

kinda sounds fun.

是啊。

Yeah.

我确实很喜欢。

I do enjoy it.

但我确实经历过一些阶段，那时我非常害怕，万一我永远无法维持一段长期关系怎么办？

But I definitely have gone through phases where I had, like, pretty strong fears of what if I can never be in a long term relationship?

万一我只擅长这段初期阶段怎么办？

What if I'm only good at this beginning part?

这些确实是我曾经思考过的问题。

So those are definitely things that I have thought about.

我目前正在经历我人生中第一段ADHD关系。

I'm currently in a my first ever ADHD ADHD relationship.

我一直以来都在经历ADHD与神经典型人群的关系。

I've always been ADHD neurotypical relationships.

所以我开始改变对这些事情的看法，因为我们能非常坦诚地讨论ADHD症状，并通过这种方式沟通。

So I'm starting to change my mind about things because we talk really openly about ADHD symptoms, and we communicate through it.

所以感觉很不一样。

So it's felt different.

所以我充满希望。

So I'm hopeful.

我也为你感到希望。

I'm hopeful for you as well.

好的。

Okay.

我们再休息一小会儿，回来后我会更多地聊聊你现在的这段关系，以及你是如何经营它的。

We're gonna take one more short break, but when we return, I'm gonna kind of talk a bit more I wanna talk more about this relationship that you're in and how you're managing it.

同时，我也想给那些晚诊断的人一些建议，以及给二十多岁的人一些通用建议。

And also, you know, some tips for people who are late diagnosed, and just for tips for people in their twenties in general.

请继续关注我们。

So stay with us.

嗨，凯尔。

Hi, Kyle.

你能帮我起草一份简洁的商业计划书吗？只要一页，用谷歌文档，然后把链接发给我？

Could you draw up a quick document with the basic business plan, just one page, as a Google Doc and send me the link?

谢谢。

Thanks.

嘿，我刚给你把那页纸的商业计划写好了。

Hey, just finished drawing up that quick one page business plan for you.

这是链接。

Here's the link.

但根本没有链接。

But there was no link.

根本没有商业计划。

There was no business plan.

这不是他的错。

It's not his fault.

我还没有给凯尔编程实现这个功能。

I hadn't programmed Kyle to be able to do that yet.

我的名字是埃文·拉蒂夫。

My name is Evan Ratliff.

在听了OpenAI首席执行官萨姆·阿尔特曼说的很多类似事情后，我决定创造我的AI联合创始人凯尔。

I decided to create Kyle, my AI cofounder, after hearing a lot of stuff like this from OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.

现在有一个关于第一年出现单人十亿美元公司的赌局，如果没有AI，这简直是难以想象的，但现在它将会发生。

There's this betting pool for the first year that there's a one person billion dollar company, which would have been, like, unimaginable without AI, and now it will happen.

我开始想，我能不能成为那个人？

I got to thinking, could I be that one person?

我之前曾为我获奖的播客《壳牌游戏》制作过AI代理。

I'd made AI agents before for my award winning podcast, Shell Game.

在《壳牌游戏》本季中，我正尝试用虚假的人来打造一家拥有真实产品的真正公司。

This season on Shell Game, I'm trying to build a real company with a real product run by fake people.

哦，嘿，埃文。

Oh, hey, Evan.

很高兴你加入我们。

Good to have you join us.

我找到了一些关于AI代理在中小型企业中采用率的有趣数据。

I found some really interesting data on adoption rates for AI agents in small to medium businesses.

在iHeartRadio应用或你收听播客的任何平台收听《Shell Game》。

Listen to Shell Game on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎来到《解读女性健康》。

Welcome to Decoding Women's Health.

我是医生。

I'm Doctor.

伊丽莎白·波因特尔，纽约市阿德里亚健康研究所女性健康与妇科主任。

Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City.

在本节目中，我将与顶尖研究人员和临床专家对话，回答你们关心的问题，直接为您提供有关女性健康和更年期的信息。

On this show, I'll be talking to top researchers and top clinicians, asking them your burning questions and bringing that information about women's health and midlife directly to you.

百分之百的女性都会经历更年期。

A hundred percent of women go through menopause.

更年期可能会严重影响我们的生活质量，但即使这是自然现象，我们为什么一定要忍受呢？

It can be such a struggle for our quality of life, but even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it?

人们谈论的症状包括健忘。

The types of symptoms that people talk about is forgetting everything.

我以前从不会忘记事情。

I never used to forget things.

他们担心一方面自己得了痴呆症，另一方面是不是患了注意力缺陷多动障碍（ADHD）。

They're concerned that one, they have dementia, and the other one is do I have ADHD?

大麻和大麻素在改善睡眠、减轻疼痛、提升情绪以及改善日常生活方面展现出前所未有的潜力。

There is unprecedented promise with regard to cannabis and cannabinoids to sleep better, to have less pain, to have better mood, and also to have better day to day life.

收听由伊丽莎白·波因特医生主讲的《解码女性健康》。

Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Doctor.

您可以在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您正在收听的任何平台收听。

Elizabeth Poynter on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening now.

塑造我们的时刻往往始于一个简单的问题。

The moments that shape us often begin with a simple question.

我现在希望我的生活是什么样子？

What do I want my life to look like now?

我是博士。

I'm Doctor.

我是乔·哈登·布拉德福德博士，在《黑人女孩的治疗》节目中，我们为身份、关系、心理健康以及帮助我们成长的选择创造坦诚对话的空间。

Joy Harden Bradford and on therapy for black girls, we create space for honest conversations about identity, relationships, mental health, and the choices that help us grow.

正如网络安全专家卡米尔·斯图尔特·格洛斯特提醒我们的那样

As cybersecurity expert Camille Stewart Gloster reminds us

我们正处在一个分裂的时代，我们的言论被用来对抗我们。

We are in a divisive time where our comments are weaponized against us.

因此，我们发现许多黑人女性挺身而出、发声，因为她们承受了最大的痛苦。

And so what we find is a lot of black women are standing up and speaking out because they feel the brunt of the pain.

每周，我们都会探讨帮助你有目的地前行的工具和见解。

Each week, we explore the tools and insights that help you move with purpose.

无论你正在应对新的挑战，还是重新找回自己。

Whether you're navigating something new or returning to yourself.

如果你准备好接受深思熟虑的指导和踏实的支持，这里就是为你准备的地方。

If you're ready for thoughtful guidance and grounded support, this is the place for you.

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你常用的任何播客平台收听《给黑人女孩的治疗》。

Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你好。

Hi.

这里是幸福实验室的洛里·桑托斯博士。

Doctor Lori Santos from the Happiness Lab here.

现在是给予的季节，因此我的播客与非营利组织 GiveDirectly 合作，该组织为极端贫困人口提供他们所需的现金援助。

It's the season of giving, which is why my podcast is partnering with GiveDirectly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need.

今年，我们参与了‘播客对抗贫困’活动。

This year, we're taking part in the Pods Fight Poverty campaign.

这不仅仅是幸福实验室的行动。

And it's not just the Happiness Lab.

我一些最喜欢的播客主也参与了这项活动。

Some of my favorite podcasters are also taking part.

比如来自《On Purpose》的Jay Shetty、来自《10% Happier》的Dan Harris，以及来自《How God Works》的Dave Disteno等等。

Think Jay Shetty from On Purpose, Dan Harris from 10% Happier, and Dave Disteno from How God Works and more.

我们今年的目标是筹集100万美元，这将帮助卢旺达700多个生活在极端贫困中的家庭。

Our goal this year is to raise $1,000,000, which will help over 700 families in Rwanda living in extreme poverty.

以下是具体运作方式。

Here's how it works.

您向GiveDirectly捐款，他们会将这笔现金直接交到需要帮助的家庭手中。

You donate to give directly, and they put that cash directly into the hands of families in need.

因为这些家庭最清楚自己需要什么，无论是购买牲畜来肥沃农田、支付学费，还是创办小生意。

Because those families know best what they need, whether it's buying livestock to fertilize their farm, paying school fees, or starting a small business.

有了这样的支持，家庭可以投资未来，实现持久的改变。

With that support, families can invest in their future and build lasting change.

所以，请和我以及您喜爱的播客主们一起参与‘播客对抗贫困’活动。

So join me and your favorite podcasters in the Pods Fight Poverty campaign.

前往 givedirectly.org/happinesslab 了解更多信息并进行捐赠。

Head to givedirectly.org/happinesslab to learn more and make a contribution.

如果您是首次捐赠者，Giving Multiplier 还将匹配您的捐赠。

And if you're a first time donor, Giving Multiplier will even match your gift.

捐赠请访问 givedirectly.org/happinesslab。

That's givedirectly.org/happinesslab to donate.

你好。

Hi.

我是拉迪·德夫卢卡，我是《好好哭一场》播客的主持人。

I'm Radhi Devlukha, and I am the host of A Really Good Cry podcast.

本周，我邀请了安娜·伦克尔，她也被称为“糟糕童年仙子”，是一位帮助人们疗愈因不安全或混乱童年而遗留的情感创伤的创作者、教师和引导者。

This week, I am joined by Anna Runkle, also known as the crappy childhood fairy, a creator, teacher, and guide helping people heal from the lasting emotional wounds of unsafe or chaotic childhoods.

我们讨论了小时候的经历如何仍在我们的成年生活中显现，影响着我们的关系、反应，甚至是我们对自己身体的感受。

We talk about how the things we went through when we were younger can still show up in our adult lives, in our relationships, our reactions, even in the way we feel in our own bodies.

安娜也分享了她自己的故事：她是如何意识到自己陷入的模式，以及她是如何慢慢教会自己的身体，现在安全了。

And Anna opens up about her own story, what helped her notice the pattern she was stuck in, and how she slowly started teaching her body that it is safe now.

当我遭到袭击时，事情非常突然，四个男人从车里冲出来，开始殴打我，他们打碎了我的下巴和牙齿，我当场昏迷。

So when I got attacked, it was very random, four guys jumped out of a car and just started beating me And and my they broke my jaw and my teeth, I was unconscious.

然后我醒了过来，大喊起来。

Then I woke up and I screamed.

我大喊是因为，尽管我不记得自己是谁，也不清楚身在何处，但内心深处有个声音在提醒我：等等。

And I screamed because even though I didn't know who I was or where I was, something in me was just like, on, wait.

他们可能会杀了我。

They could kill me.

我不会让这种情况发生。

I'm not going to let that happen.

我不会让这种情况发生。

I'm not going to let that happen.

我一定要挺过去。

I'm going to get through this.

我真的做到了。

And I did.

在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《好好哭一场》。

Listen to A Really Good Cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

好的。

Okay.

所以你提到过你第一次患注意力缺陷多动障碍的恋爱关系，这和与神经典型的人约会有什么不同？

So you mentioned during your first ADHD ADHD relationship, how is that different from dating somebody who is neurotypical?

如果你想谈谈的话，当然可以。

If you wanna talk about it, of course.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

当然。

Of course.

我对此思考了很多，实际上，在进入这段关系时，我以为自己必须处在一段ADHD与神经典型者的恋爱关系中。

I have thought about this a lot, and I actually coming into this relationship, I thought that I had to be in an ADHD neurotypical relationship.

第一，

One,

我和

me and

我的联合创始人是神经典型者。

my co my co founder is neurotypical.

所以从商业角度来看，我一直认为，好吧。

So even from a business perspective, I've always thought, okay.

我们有不同的技能。

We have different skills.

我们有不同的优势，结合起来，我们更强大。

We have different strengths, and together, we are stronger.

我仍然相信这一点，但我过去认为不可能有别的模式。

And I do think I still do believe in that, but I used to believe that it couldn't be a different way.

现在我处于一段ADHD与ADHD的关系中，各有不同的优缺点。

And so now I'm in an ADHD ADHD relationship, and there's different pros and cons.

我认为，显然有些事情我们俩都不擅长，因此完成起来会更困难，比如家务或者长时间的事情。

I think, obviously, there's certain things where we are both going to be bad at, and therefore, it's gonna be harder to get done, like chores or long Yeah.

家里的事情。

Things around the house.

但我认为好处是，在进入这段ADHD与ADHD的关系之前，我从未意识到有那么多事情，我过去总需要解释，甚至试图向对方说明，因为我的行为看起来像是懒惰、粗心、不爱对方，或者类似的情况。

But I think the pros is that there's so many things I didn't realize until I was in a ADHD ADHD relationship that I used to need to at least explain and try to explain myself because it looked like I was either being lazy or careless or I didn't love them or whatever.

有很多误解，甚至更糟的是，很多时候我根本不会去解释。

There's a lot of misinterpretations or even worse than that, a lot of the times, I would not even try to explain.

我只是觉得我会因为某件事被评判，于是干脆就不做，而现在，我认为在很多情况下，我们会直接沟通这些问题。

I would just feel like I was gonna get judged for something and therefore just not do it versus now, I think in a lot of situations, we will just talk about things.

比如，沟通会更加开放，我会更愿意分享事情，因为我知道她会有类似的观点，或者至少能理解观点是不同的。

Like, the communication will just be more open and I will be more comfortable sharing things because I know that she'll have, like, a like a similar either a similar perspective or or at least understand that perspectives are different.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得，能意识到‘我不必解释，你和我有相似的了解’，这种感觉会特别安心。

I feel like it'd be so comforting just being like, oh, I don't have to I don't you like, you have some of the same knowledge as me.