#837：2026年简化生活指南——德里克·西弗斯、赛斯·高汀与玛莎·贝克的新建议

大家好，各位先生女士们。

Hello, boys and girls, ladies, and germs.

我是蒂姆·费里斯。

This is Tim Ferriss.

欢迎收听新一期的《蒂姆·费里斯秀》。

Welcome to another episode of the Tim Ferriss Show.

这次我们采用了不同于常规长篇访谈的形式。

This time around, we have a different format from my normal long form interviews.

你可以在tim.blog/podcast找到800多期常规节目。

You can find 800 plus of those at tim.blog/podcast.

但这次我想做些非常利己的事情。

But this time around, I thought I would do something very self serving.

有件事一直萦绕在我心头。

There's something on my mind.

当我们步入新年时，包括我在内的许多人，都感觉自己正淹没在无形的复杂中，又或许是我们简化过头了。

As we head into the New Year, many of us, me too, feel like we're drowning in invisible complexity, or perhaps we simplified and simplified.

但你看，毫无例外地，复杂性又开始悄然滋生。

But lo and behold, without fail, complexity starts to creep back in.

这种情况总会发生。

This happens.

对吧？

Right?

就像去健身房一样。

It's like going to the gym.

你不能只去一次。

You can't just go once.

你需要不断优化并回归简化、简化、再简化。

You need to constantly refine and revert to simplify, simplify, simplify.

所以我想暂停长篇访谈的形式。

So I wanted to hit pause on long form interviews.

我们后续还会有更多内容。

We'll have more coming.

但问一个简单的问题。

But ask a simple question.

我能做出哪一到三个决定，可以显著简化我在2026年——也就是即将到来的这一年，就在一月份，希望如此——的生活？

What are the one to three decisions that I could make that would dramatically simplify my life in 2026, this upcoming year, right, in January, hopefully?

为了探讨这个问题，我邀请了三位密友也是长期备受听众喜爱的嘉宾——德里克·西弗斯、赛斯·高汀和玛莎·贝克——来分享他们生活中已经奏效的经验。

To explore that, I invited three close friends and longtime listener favorites, Derek Sivers, Seth Godin, and Martha Beck, to share what they have done in their lives that has worked already.

从德里克·西弗斯那里，你将学到德里克如何运用第一性原理而非默认设置的激进生活方式；从赛斯·高汀那里，了解几条硬性规则如何将混乱的职业生活转变为简单且专注于最佳作品的状态；而从玛莎·贝克那里，明白一个激进的承诺如何迫使她经历成长阵痛，却最终换来围绕平静与意义构建的极简生活。

So from Derek Sivers, you'll learn how Derek uses a radical approach to living from first principles instead of default settings from Seth Godin, how a handful of hard rules can turn a messy professional life into something simple and focused on your best work, and from Martha Beck, how making one radical commitment forced her through growing pains but led to a vastly simpler life built around peace and meaning.

如果你喜欢这期节目，我会做更多类似的内容，因为我当然想从德里克、赛斯和玛莎这样的人那里乞求、借鉴并偷师。

And if you like this episode, I'll do more of these because, certainly, I want to beg, borrow, and steal from people like Derek, Seth, and Martha.

这在我自己的生活中已经多次实践。

And I've applied this a lot in my own life.

2020年时，我运用了一条指导原则——这条原则是我从另外两位播客嘉宾那里学来并真正打磨成型的，他们分别是《精要主义》作者格雷格·麦基翁和多部超级畅销书作者吉姆·柯林斯。

In 2020, I used a guiding tenet that I learned, really polished, I would say, from two other podcast guests, Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, and Jim Collins, author of many, many mega bestsellers.

它就是：

And here it is.

寻找那些能消除成百上千个其他决定的单一决策。

Look for single decisions that remove hundreds or thousands of other decisions.

这是吉姆·柯林斯从传奇管理理论家彼得·德鲁克那里学到的最重要一课——德鲁克本身也是位杰出作家，《卓有成效的管理者》至今仍是我推荐给所有人的必读书。

This was one of the most important lessons that Jim, Jim Collins, learned from legendary management theorist Peter Drucker, also an amazing author in his own right, the effective executive I still recommend to anyone and everyone.

正如吉姆在我们第一期播客中回忆的那样，引用原话：'能用一项决策解决时，不要做一百项决策。'

As Jim recounted on our first podcast, and I'll quote here, don't make a 100 decisions when one will do.

彼得认为人们总以为自己做了许多不同的决策。

Peter believed that you tend to think that you're making a lot of different decisions.

但当你真正抽丝剥茧时，会发现大量看似不同的决策其实都属于同一决策类别。

But then, actually, if you kinda strip it away, you begin to realize that a whole lot of decisions that look like different decisions are really part of the same category of decision.

我在生活中许多领域都实践了这个理念。

And I've applied this in my own life in a lot of different places.

比如2015到2018年的创业休假/退休期间，我再次全面自问：有哪些事情可以彻底（哪怕是暂时）剔除，从而为看清全局、探索发现珍贵机遇创造空间？

So my start up vacation slash retirement that I took from 2015 to 2018, I asked myself across the board yet again, what can I categorically and completely remove even temporarily to create space for seeing the bigger picture, exploring, finding gems?

这个原则也让我做到了连续数年不接任何公开演讲。

I've applied that to doing no public speaking for years at a time.

例如在2020年，我决定彻底不读任何新书，并将这一决定无限期延续。

In 2020, for instance, I committed to not reading any new books whatsoever, which I extended indefinitely.

你可以在tim.blog/newbooks上阅读关于这个决定的文章，其中也涉及了一些相关原则。

And you can read about that decision, which talks about some of the principles involved also at tim.blog/newbooks.

这一个决定就解决了看似十几个互不相干又耗费时间的问题，而我正在寻找更多这样的决策。

That single decision solved what seemed like maybe a dozen disparate time consuming problems, and I'm looking for more of those.

闲话少说，现在请欣赏德里克、塞斯和玛莎带来的建议与故事。

So without further ado, please enjoy now tips and stories from Derek, Seth, and Martha.

最佳心理状态。

Optimal mental.

在这样的海拔高度，我可以全速奔跑半英里才开始手抖。

At this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start to shake.

我能回答你的私人问题吗？

Can I answer your personal question?

现在我们看到的只是我的生日，黛安娜。

Now we're just seeing my birthday, Diana.

我现在的感受是

What it like to be I'm

你好。

Hi.

我是德里克·西弗斯，我对简单化的内涵非常着迷。

I'm Derek Sivers, and I'm fascinated with the implications of simplicity.

大多数人并不想要简单的生活。

Most people don't want a simple life.

他们想要轻松的生活。

They want an easy life.

但简单的生活可能很艰难。

But a simple life can be hard.

当我真正理解简单的含义时，我的生活发生了改变。

My life changed when I learned what simple really means.

简单（simple）源自simplex，是复杂（complex）的反义词。

Simple comes from simplex, the opposite of complex.

复杂（complex）源自交织缠绕的动词含义

Complex comes from complex, the verb that means to intertwine.

这很重要

This is important.

请记住这一点，亲爱的听众

Remember this, dear listener.

当生活与各种依赖关系交织时，它就变得复杂了

Your life is complex when it is intertwined with dependencies.

你依赖着某些事物，而这些事物也依赖着你

You are depending on things, and things are depending on you.

当生活不复杂时，它就是简单的

Your life is simple when it is not complex.

它不与其他事物纠缠，但这意味着依赖更少

It's not intertwined with other things, but that means depending on less.

注意到让生活变得复杂是多么容易了吗

Notice how easy it was to make your life complex.

只需说‘我要报名’

Just say sign me up.

只需点击‘立即购买’

Just click buy now.

只需说‘你被录用了’

Just say you're hired.

恭喜

Congratulations.

你刚刚让自己的生活变得更轻松了

You just made your life easier.

但现在它客观上变得更复杂了

But now it's objectively more complex.

解开这些意味着辞职、解雇、退订、卸载、断开连接、断绝关系、打破承诺，以及摆脱你拥有的许多东西

Untangling that means quitting, firing, unsubscribing, uninstalling, disconnecting, breaking ties, breaking commitments, and getting rid of a lot of the things you own.

但这会让生活变得更艰难

But that makes life harder.

而最困难的是，这意味着要放弃你身份中的重要部分。

And hardest of all, it means letting go of big parts of your identity.

不再有超人般的自我形象。

No more Superman self image.

这是承认你无法做到所有事情。

It's admitting you can't do it all.

你会让依赖你的人失望。

You'll disappoint people that depend on you.

你会对几乎所有事情说不。

You'll say no to almost everything.

这有点像一句悲伤的咒语。

It's kind of a sad mantra.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不行。

Nope.

抱歉。

Sorry.

不。

No.

不行。

Nope.

但也许你并不真正想要简单的生活。

But maybe you don't really want a simple life.

也许你内心深处的快乐正来自于所有这些牵绊——依赖你的朋友、各种服务订阅、帮助、宠物，以及那些让你生活更便利的‘巨人工具’。

Maybe your deepest joy comes from all your entanglements, friends who depend on you, services and subscriptions and assistance and pets and tools of titans that make your life easier.

你很可能有事业、配偶、孩子、爱好、宠物和家庭，而我怀疑你并不愿意只保留其中一样而舍弃其他所有。

You probably have a career and a spouse and a child and a hobby and a pet and a home, and I doubt you want to get rid of all but one of those.

所以你有不同的面向，事情就是这样。

So you have different aspects, and that's that.

但你仍可以在每个身份中简化生活。

But you can still simplify your life within each identity.

与其将它们交织在一起，不如解开它们并保持独立。

Instead of intertwining them, untangle them and keep them separate.

当专注于某一方面时，全神贯注于此，让其他事物暂时消失。

When focused on one, give it your full attention and make the rest disappear.

以我为例，当我和儿子在一起时，我的手机会关机。

Like in my case, when I'm with my boy, my phone is off.

我处于失联状态。

I'm unreachable.

如果我想起其他事情，就像冥想时那样，我会放下杂念，将全部注意力重新集中到他身上。

And if I think of anything else, then like meditation, I let it go, and I bring my full attention back to him.

在你的每个生活面向中，你都可以暂时保持简单。

Within each of your aspects, you can be temporarily simple.

手机是这种生活方式的大敌，因为它把所有事情都纠缠在一起。

Your phone is the enemy of this since it intertwines everything.

好了，开场白说得够多了。

Anyway, enough preface.

蒂姆，你问过我三个主要的简化措施。

Tim, you asked for my three major simplifications.

第一，不订阅任何服务。

Number one, no subscriptions.

不订阅Spotify。

No Spotify.

不看Netflix。

No Netflix.

不办任何会员卡。

No memberships.

不承担任何月度付费义务。

No monthly obligations.

不贷款。

No mortgage.

不雇佣员工。

No employees.

不组建团队。

No team.

不找出版商。

No publisher.

不签合同。

No contracts.

除了我儿子，不让他人依赖我。

Nobody depending on me except my boy.

我们都有自己的底线。

We all draw the line somewhere.

第二点，编程。

Number two, programming.

对我来说这意义重大，但你们大多数观众可能无法感同身受，所以我会为程序员同行们长话短说。

For me, this was huge, but most of your audience can't relate, so I'll make this quick for my fellow programmers.

我简化了我的计算机编程代码，使其没有任何依赖项或外部库。

I simplified my computer programming code so it has no dependencies, no external libraries.

如果某件事对我真的很重要，我会亲自编写代码实现它。

If something really matters to me, I code it myself.

如果我不愿意亲自编写代码实现某个功能，那说明它并不重要，我完全可以不要它。

If I don't want to code it myself, then it must not be that important, and I do without it.

前期自己动手实现所需功能确实更难，但从长远来看，这会让一切变得客观上更简单，更容易理解、维护和修改。

It's harder up front to make what I need, but long term, it makes everything objectively simpler, easier to understand, maintain, and change.

长远来看，这种感觉更好，而感受很重要。

Long term, it feels better, and feelings matter.

正在收听的程序员同行们，可以到GitHub上找我的代码，想交流的话随时给我发邮件。

To my fellow programmers listening, go find my code on GitHub and email me if you want.

我热爱技术讨论。

I love talking tech.

第三点，从零开始建造一座房子。

Number three, building a house from scratch.

我在上一期播客中简单提到过这个，结果收到了大量关于此的邮件。

I mentioned this briefly on our last podcast, and I got so many emails about it.

我不喜欢住在那些堆满我不需要的东西的现成房子里。

I didn't like living in existing houses full of shit I don't need.

于是我在新西兰的森林里买了一块离网的土地。

So I bought a piece of off grid land in the forest in New Zealand.

然后我和儿子开始长期住在那里的一个小木屋里，看看我们真正需要什么。

Then my son and I started living full time in a tiny cabin there to see what we really need.

从零开始会让你质疑每样东西的必要性。

Starting from scratch makes you question the necessity of everything.

我真的需要电灯吗？

Do I really need lights?

我真的需要窗帘吗？

Do I really need curtains?

我真的需要一个厨房吗？

Do I really need a kitchen?

我真的需要一个室内浴室吗？

Do I really need an indoor bathroom?

与其假设我需要，我选择在实践中尝试没有它们的生活，而非仅停留在理论上。

Instead of assuming I do, I try living without it in practice instead of just in theory.

默认答案是否定的，只有在被证明是必要的时候才会非常不情愿地同意。

It's no by default and a very reluctant yes only when proven to be necessary.

在我这里提到的三个例子中，如果一开始选择同意而非拒绝，生活会更容易些。

In all three of my examples here, life would be easier up front if I said yes instead of no.

但从长远来看，没有它们我的生活客观上更简单。

But long term, my life is objectively simpler without them.

更少的舒适，但更少的复杂性、更少的依赖、更少的义务、更少的维护，更容易改变。

Less comforts, but less complexity, less dependencies, less obligations, less to maintain, easier to change.

就像寄居蟹一样。

Like a hermit crab.

你被束缚得越少，就越容易成长。

The less you're bound to, the easier it is to grow.

这是长期思维与短期思维的对比，深层快乐与浅层快乐的抉择。

It's thinking long term versus short term, deep happy versus shallow happy.

通过舍弃某些舒适来换取简单的生活、简洁的代码和简约的家居，这让我感到由衷的快乐。

It makes me deeply happy to shed some comforts in return for a simple life, simple code, simple home.

起初让生活变得复杂很容易，但这其实是个长期陷阱。

It's easy at first to make your life complex, but it's a long term trap.

虽然让生活变得简单起初很难，但它能带来更深远的长期益处——内心的平静、自立、掌控力以及改变的自由。

It's hard at first to make your life simple, but it's a deeper long term benefit for the peace of mind, self reliance, control, and freedom to change.

嘿。

Hey.

我是赛斯·高汀。

It's Seth Godin.

作为21本畅销书作者、每日博客写手、企业家兼教师，今天能和大家探讨'简化'这项艰巨工作，我感到非常兴奋。

I'm an author of 21 bestsellers, a daily blogger, an entrepreneur, and a teacher, and I'm thrilled to be with you today talking about the hard work of simplifying.

我首先想说的是，简化之所以是项艰巨的工作，是因为如果它轻而易举，你早就完成了。

I start with the idea that it's hard work because if it was easy, you would have done it already.

我们被各种系统所包围——无形的系统、顽固的系统，这些系统将我们困在原地。

We are surrounded by systems, invisible systems, persistent systems, systems that push us to be stuck where we are.

若要发挥我们的能动性，利用我们的自由去改变周遭的系统，首先要承认这并非易事。

And if we're going to leverage our agency, take advantage of our freedom, and change the systems around us, it helps to begin by acknowledging it's not easy.

因此，我有几点想与大家分享。

So there are a few things that I would like to share.

简化生活的简单方法，但它们并不容易做到。

Simple ways to simplify, but they weren't easy.

第一点是：真正明确其目的与对象，尤其是对象。

The first one is this, real clarity about what it's for and who it's for, particularly the who.

从对象开始思考。

Start with who.

你正在做的这项工作，究竟是为了取悦谁？

This work you are doing, who is it trying to please?

如果你想推高股价，那就专注于推高股价。

If you're trying to make the stock price go up, make the stock price go up.

但别惊讶街上的孩子对你谋生的工作不感兴趣。

But don't be surprised that the kid down the street isn't impressed with what you do for a living.

如果你用英语写作，就别为不懂意大利语的读者无法理解而烦恼。

If you are writing something for people who speak English, don't be upset if someone who speaks Italian can't read what you wrote.

做出艰难决定，明确目标受众，然后忽略其他人。

Make hard decisions, difficult choices about who it's for, and then ignore everyone else.

所以如果你写了本书，有人在亚马逊给了一星评价，这并不能说明书的好坏。

So if you write a book and someone gives you a one star review on Amazon, they are telling you nothing about how good the book is.

他们只是在告诉你：这本书不适合他们。

All they're telling you is that it wasn't for them.

没必要在意这种评价。

No reason to read that.

他们本就不在你的目标读者名单里。

They weren't on your list of who it's for.

一次又一次，当我重新审视自己服务对象的明确性时，我就能判断自己是否对此做出了正确决策，然后继续投入工作。

Again and again, when I come back to the discipline of being clear about who I am here to serve, I can then highlight whether I've made a good decision or not about that who, and then I can go back to work.

第二点，在灰色地带中寻找清晰度。

Number two, finding clarity about the gray areas.

因为正是在这些灰色地带，当我们不得不不断分析左右、上下、多一分或少一分时，事情就变得复杂了。

Because it's when there are gray areas, when we have to constantly analyze left or right, up or down, a little bit more or a little bit less, things get complicated.

我从预算和截止日期开始讲起。

I begin with this, budgets and deadlines.

选择成为一名专业人士。

Choose to be a professional.

永远不要超支。

Never go over budget.

永远不要错过截止日期。

Never miss a deadline.

这很简单。

That's simple.

当你资金耗尽或时间用尽时，游戏就结束了。

When you run out of money or you run out of time, you're done.

你不需要巧言令色、苦苦哀求、讨价还价或是拆东墙补西墙。

You don't have to wheedle or plead or negotiate or rob Peter to pay Paul.

资金告罄之时，期限届满之日，便是终结之际。

When you run out of money, when you run out of time, you're done.

当你接受预算和期限时，这会让你更加专注，因为你有一套准则。

This makes you much more focused when you accept a budget, when you accept a deadline because you have a code.

这两者你都不会违背。

You're not gonna miss either one.

其次，关于答应与拒绝。

Second, yeses and nos.

让你的'是'就是'是'。

Make your yes mean yes.

让你的'不'就是'不'。

Make your no mean no.

清晰表达拒绝而不冒犯他人，同时保持明确。

Say your no quite clearly without offending people but with clarity.

速战速决。

Get it over with.

不行。

No.

我无法完成这件事。

I won't be able to do that.

可以。

Yes.

我能承担这个任务。

I can take this on.

当我们明确知道什么是可以接受、什么是必须拒绝时，生活就会简单得多。

When we are clear about what's a yes and what's a no, life gets much simpler.

但并不会变得更轻松。

It doesn't get easier.

含糊其辞地应付过去然后静观其变反而更轻松。

It's easier to just sort of waffle your way through and see what happens.

但简单化会带来杠杆效应，带来清晰度，然后我们就能着手工作。

But with the simplicity comes leverage, comes clarity, and then we can get to work.

第三条，很简短的一条。

The third one, a tiny one.

如果一份备忘录就能解决问题，就不要去开会。

Don't go to a meeting if a memo will suffice.

在大型组织中，这每周能为你节省三十个小时。

In big organizations, this can save you thirty hours a week.

但即便是作为独立工作者或自由职业者，它也迫使我们保持思路清晰。

But even as a soloist, as a freelancer, it forces us into clarity.

把该说的说完就继续前进。

Say what you need to say and move on.

对话交流是很好的。

Conversations are great.

我支持对话交流，但会议，会议几乎总是让事情复杂化。

I'm in favor of conversations, but meetings, meetings almost always make things complicated.

最后我要分享的是个人时间界限，这是预算和截止日期的一种形式。

And the last one I'll share with you is personal time boundaries, which is a version of budgets and deadlines.

我们对自己做出承诺。

We make a promise to ourselves.

我们何时需要投入工作，何时不需要？

When are we on the hook for work and when are we not?

你不能通过比别人花更多时间来走捷径获得成功。

You can't shortcut your way to success by spending more time than everyone else.

反正你的时间总会用完。

You're gonna run out of time anyway.

所以当我总结这一切时，意味着除非对项目有益，否则不使用社交媒体。

So when I add all this up, it means no social media unless it serves the project.

除非阅读评论能真正改进你的工作，否则不要去看。

No reading of reviews unless you're doing it in a way that's going to make your work actually better.

不要接那些你既做不好、又无法乐在其中的工作，并且要对所有人讲述同样的故事。

Don't take a gig where you can't do a good job and be happy about doing it, and tell the same story to everyone.

这会让你的生活更有条理，从而变得简单。

It makes it much easier to keep your life organized, and that makes it simple.

我们拥有足够的动力、创意和精力去完成非凡的工作，但系统却让事情变得复杂。

We have plenty of horsepower, plenty of ideas, plenty of energy to do extraordinary work, but then the systems make things complicated.

抵制让事情变得更复杂的捷径。

Resist the easy path of making it more complicated.

当你简化流程时，就等于把自己置于必须兑现承诺的位置——要准时出现，完成承诺之事，并以优雅和关怀的态度完成那些对在乎的人有意义的工作。

When you make it simple, you put yourself on the hook, on the hook to show up, to do what you said you were gonna do, and to do it with grace and care, work that matters for people who care.

关键在于：

Here's the thing.

没有人主动选择复杂的生活。

Nobody signs up for a complicated life.

没有人愿意让自己深陷复杂泥潭中虚度光阴。

Nobody signs up to find themselves wasting a lot of time in a swamp of complications.

我们就是这样一点一滴、逐步妥协地走到这一步的。

We get there drip by drip, bit by bit, compromise by compromise.

我们试图通过求稳、分散精力而非专注具体事务来达成目标。

We get there trying to play it safe, spreading things out instead of being specific.

因此，我举几个非常具体的例子，让你思考选择简单行事可能带来的连锁反应和影响。

So a few really specific examples from me so you can think about the ramifications and repercussions of deciding to play it simple.

比如，我从不参加会议。

For example, I don't go to meetings.

我不会独自看电视。

I don't watch television on my own.

我不刷脸书或推特。

I don't look at Facebook or Twitter.

如果你摆脱这四件事，每天能腾出多少小时？

If you get rid of these four things, how many hours a day would be freed up?

这会让你的生活变得更简单。

It would make your life simpler.

此外，风险会更高，因为你必须为具体事项承担责任——那些你因放弃某些事物而精通的领域，或是明确自己立场后擅长的事务。

Also, the stakes would be much higher because you'd have to put yourself on the hook for specific things, things you got great at because of the things you just gave up or figuring out what you stand for.

当我进入商学院时，我研究了他们提供给学生的案例。

When I got to business school, I looked at the cases that they were giving people.

案例包含约八页的叙述内容和八页的电子表格。

There were about eight pages of prose and eight pages of spreadsheets.

我意识到教授需要这样的学生：当被要求分析案例时，能提供维持讨论所需的反馈。

And I realized professors needed to have students who, when they called on them to analyze a case, would give them the kind of feedback that they needed to keep the discussion going.

于是在开学第一天，我决定简化生活，永远不做电子表格。

So I decided on that first day to simplify my life and never do a spreadsheet.

如果教授点名要求我进行数值分析，我会直接回答：我没有准备。

That if a professor called on me and asked me for a numerical analysis, I would simply say, I didn't have one.

教授们很快就会发现，虽然他们可以轻易让我难堪，但这样会打断课堂的流畅性。

It wouldn't take long for professors to realize that they could embarrass me if they wanted to, but then the class wouldn't flow.

但作为这种简化的交换条件，我必须充分准备，并真正擅长为叙述部分提出有价值的见解——那些能在后续讨论中被至少引用两次的内容。

But in exchange for that simplification, I had to be really ready and really good at coming up with something useful for the prose section, something that would be referred to at least twice through the rest of the discussion.

通过专注于这一点，通过简化，我让自己承担了责任，最终这成为了我所代表的一部分。

By focusing on that, by simplifying, I put myself on the hook, and it ended up becoming part of what I stood for.

同样地，我在建立非传统书籍项目声誉的同时，也承诺绝不会错过截止日期，绝不会超出预算。

Same thing with building a reputation for doing offbeat sort of book projects, at the same time saying, I will never miss a deadline, and I will never go over budget.

这让我的生活更简单，但也让它变得有点可怕。

Made my life simpler, but it also made it a bit scarier.

再举一个例子，同样非常平凡，既简化了事情，又增加了难度。

One more example, also very prosaic, makes things simpler and makes things harder.

当我做演讲时——我在全球做过上千场演讲——我对演讲方式有着非常具体的要求。

When I give presentations, and I've given more than a thousand of them around the world, I have a very specific rider about how I do it.

我不会改变规则。

I don't change the rules.

我不会与客户讨论说，'您希望我用这种方式还是那种方式来做？'

I don't have a discussion with the client saying, do you want me to do it this way or do want me to do it that way?

我的朋友西蒙·斯涅克，他总是如约而至。

My friend Simon Sinek, he shows up.

他想要一个翻页板。

He wants a flip pad.

而我到场后会说，我不会采用圆形舞台表演，因为从来没有观众说过‘哦，那样很棒’。

Me, I show up and I say, I will not work in the round because no audience member has ever said, oh, it was great that way.

我有一半时间只能看到他们的背影。

I got to see their back half the time.

而且我总是使用相同的技术设备配置。

And I always use the same tech setup.

为什么？

Why?

这并不是因为我不喜欢探索新想法。

It's not because I don't like exploring new ideas.

而是因为通过简化某件事的处理方式，我才能为其他事情打开更丰富、更深刻、更复杂的大门。

It's because by simplifying the way I do one thing, I open the door to make other things richer, deeper, and more complicated.

只是

Just

快速感谢我们的赞助商，节目马上回来。

a quick thanks to our sponsors, and we'll be right back to the show.

长期听众都知道隐私对我有多重要。

Longtime listeners know how important privacy is to me.

事实上，朋友们曾说我偏执——他们过去这么称呼我，而现在他们觉得我某种程度上只是抑郁了。

In fact, my friends would call me paranoid or they used to call me paranoid, and now they think I was just depression in a sense.

最近你可能已经注意到，保护隐私变得困难多了。

These days, you may have noticed, it is a lot harder to protect privacy.

任何人都能通过简单搜索找到你的信息。

Anyone can find your information with a quick search.

这容易得令人震惊，我曾付钱让朋友和专业人员对我进行红队测试，试图找到我的信息。

It's shockingly easy, and I've had friends and paid people to red team me to try to find my info.

你会发现，阴暗的数据经纪人在悄无声息地收集并交易你的家庭住址、电话、家庭成员等信息。

And, what you'll notice is that shadowy data brokers quietly collect and trade your home address, phone, family members, and more.

简直一团糟。

It's a mess.

你需要制定防御计划，而IncogNI能帮你反击。

You have to have a plan for defense, and you can fight back with IncogNI.

就是I n c o g n I这个拼写。

That's I n c o g n I.

IncogNI能自动从420多家数据经纪商处删除你的信息，其无限套餐还覆盖1000多个额外网站，并持续自动清理。

IncogNI automatically removes your information across 420 plus data brokers with 1,000 plus additional sites covered in their unlimited plan, and they keep it scrubbed automatically.

德勤已独立验证过核心数据。

Deloitte has independently verified the headline numbers.

换言之，已处理超过2.45亿条删除请求，该公司遵循严格安全标准，在商业改进局获得A+评级。

In other words, 245,000,000 plus removal requests, And the company adheres to strict security standards with an a plus rating from the Better Business Bureau.

使用他们的无限套餐时，若发现未监控网站上有你的信息，只需发送链接，隐私团队就会处理。

And with their unlimited plan, if you find your info on a site they don't monitor, send them a link, and their privacy team will handle it.

访问incogni.com/tim，结账时使用优惠码tim可享年费套餐6折优惠。

Go to incogni.com/tim,incogni,.com/tim, and use code tim at checkout to get 60% off of an annual plan.

再重复一次。

One more time.

Incogni.com/tim。

Incogni.com/tim.

睡眠是这一切的关键。

Sleep is the key to it all.

它是基础。

It is the foundation.

你们中许多人听过我谈论今天的赞助商Eight Sleep如何通过其Pod Cover改善了我的睡眠。

Many of you heard me talk about how today's sponsor Eight Sleep has improved my sleep with its pod cover.

Pod Five推出了Eight Sleep的最新产品——智能毯，采用与Pod Cover相同的技术，将温度调节范围扩展至全身。

The pod five introduces Eight Sleep's latest product, the blanket, which uses the same technology as the pod's cover to extend temperature regulation across the entire body.

平均而言，用户反馈Pod帮助他们入睡速度加快44%，深度睡眠增加34%，每晚多获得1小时睡眠时间。

On average, members report the pod has helped them fall asleep 44% faster, 34% deeper sleep, and given them up to one added hour of sleep each night.

此外，Pod的鼾声检测和自动抬升平台使用户打鼾减少了45%。

Also, the pod snoring detection and automatic elevating platform have reduced users snoring by 45%.

每天早晨你还会收到个性化报告，可追踪睡眠阶段、心率变异性、呼吸频率等数据，无需佩戴任何设备。

You'll also get a personalized report each morning, allowing you to track your sleep stages, heart rate variability, respiratory rate, and more all without having any devices strapped onto you.

现在听众可以提前享受Eight Sleep年度最大促销活动。

And now listeners get early access to Eight Sleep's biggest sale of the year.

从现在到12月1日，购买Pod五Ultra可立减700美元。

From now until December 1, get $700 off the Pod five Ultra.

这是他们平时优惠力度的两倍。

That's double their usual offer.

你可以

You can

在家试用三十天，不满意可退货。

try it at home for thirty days and return if you don't like it.

请访问8sleep.com/tim并使用优惠码Tim立减700美元。

So head over to 8sleep.com/tim and use code Tim for $700 off.

全球多个国家地区均可配送。

Shipping is available to many countries worldwide.

再重复一遍。

One more time.

八睡眠网站斜杠Tim。

Eight Sleep dot com slash Tim.

你好。

Hi.

我是玛莎·贝克。

I'm Martha Beck.

我是一名作家、教练、播客主持人、母亲，我来这里是想告诉你一个彻底简化了我整个人生的决定。

I'm an author, a coach, podcaster, mom, and I'm here to tell you about one decision that radically simplified my entire life.

这个决定还帮助我建立了这种深刻的使命感、目标感和内心平静，现在我可以随时获取这些感受，所以我强烈推荐它。

It also helped me create this deep sense of meaning and purpose and peace that I can always access now, so I highly recommend it.

这一切始于我29岁那年。

It started when I was 29 years old.

我决定将追求快乐体验置于所有其他因素或考虑之上。

I made a decision to follow the experience of joy above all other factors or considerations.

我指的不只是任何积极情绪。

I don't just mean any positive feeling.

比如，我们能感到快乐。

Like, we can feel happy.

我们可能在躁狂时、吸毒时、或购买不需要的东西获得多巴胺冲击时感到兴奋。

We can feel up when we're manic, when we're on drugs, when, we buy something that we don't need and get a dopamine hit.

事实上，几乎所有我们用来改善情绪的事物都会在大脑中产生那种我们逐渐渴望的多巴胺和其他激素的冲击。

In fact, almost all the things that we turn to to feel better create that jolt of dopamine and other hormones in the brain that we come to crave.

然后我们不得不做越来越多的事情，才能获得与第一次做时相同的幸福感。

And then we have to do more and more and more to feel as happy as we did the first time we did that.

所以这其实并不健康。

So that's not really functional.

我所说的是一种能让我们整个神经系统产生共鸣的平静释放。

What I'm talking about is a sort of quiet release that resonates through every aspect of our nervous systems.

当我们与之连接时，所有肌肉都会放松，这是无法伪装的。

When we connect with it, all our muscles relax, and you can't fake that.

当你想起某个你爱的人，并在脑海中

When you think of somebody you love and you hold their image in your

脑海中，

mind,

只要没有争执发生，你的肌肉就会放松下来。

your muscles will relax as long as there's no argument going on.

我们可能会呼吸得更深，尤其是呼气时，就像那种如释重负的叹息。

And we may breathe more deeply, especially exhaling, like that sigh of relief.

我们可能会不由自主地微笑，即使没人在旁边看见，同时感受到一种轻盈或敞开的感受。

We may smile spontaneously even if there's nobody there to see it, and we feel a sense of lifting or opening.

这是一种身体与情感上的自由感。

It is a physical and emotional sense of freedom.

因此，当我决定只追随这种感受后，我的人生导航方式就变得极其简单。

So once I'd made this decision to follow only that sensation, my way of charting a course through life became really radically simplified.

虽然不总是容易，但非常简明。

Wasn't always easy, but it was very simple.

所以唯一的准则就是：如果某件事带来真实的喜悦，就朝它靠近。

So the only rule was if it feels like true joy, go toward it.

如果感觉像是痛苦与折磨，就远离它。

If it feels like misery and pain, go away from it.

关键在于，无论如何都要坚持。

And here's the kicker, no matter what.

于是我开始遵循这一信条，就像在玩'你越来越热，你越来越冷'的游戏。

So I began following this credo, and it was like playing a game of you're getting warmer, you're getting cooler.

如果更接近喜悦，我就'越来越热'。

If it's more like joy, I'm getting warmer.

如果偏离喜悦，如果更紧张，我就'越来越冷'。

If it's less like joy, if it's more tense, I am getting cooler.

我发现即使某些事令人畏惧或害怕，选择也变得清晰简单。

And I found that even when something felt daunting or frightening, it was clear and simple.

你需要稍加练习才能感知这些感觉。

You need a bit of practice to access the sensations.

但一旦你掌握了要领，只要能感受到身体、心灵、头脑或灵魂中任何一丝喜悦，它就会变得异常鲜明。

But once you get there, if you can feel any trace of joy in the body, heart, mind, soul, it becomes really distinct.

你可以把它当作你的趋暖避寒测量仪。

You can use it as your getting warmer, getting colder measurement.

于是我开始无论如何都坚持这么做。

So I started doing this no matter what.

这包括打破我过去许多关系中的规则。

That included breaking the rules of a lot of relationships I'd had.

因为那些关系没有带来快乐，或者它们的运作方式让我感受不到快乐。

I was because they didn't feel like joy, or the way they were being played out didn't feel like joy to me.

所以我要么选择退出，要么彻底改变自己在那种情境下的行为，直到感受到快乐。

So I I would either back off or I'd really change the behavior, my own behavior in that situation until I felt joy.

因此有些人从我的生活中消失了。

So some people dropped away from my life.

事实上，很多人都是如此。

Actually, a lot of people did.

我稍后会谈到这一点。

I'll get to that in a minute.

这种事不会发生在你身上。

It won't happen to you.

但当我这样生活了一段时间后，尽管确实给我的生活带来了一些短期混乱，我开始感到前所未有的强大、清晰和内心平静。

But after I'd been living this way for a while, even though it did create some short term chaos in my life, I began to feel stronger and clearer than I ever had and more at peace.

我曾患有一系列自身免疫性疾病——实际上是一大堆——当时这些病都无药可治。

I had a little cluster, a large cluster, actually, of autoimmune illnesses for which there was no cure.

但它们全都进入了缓解期。

They all went into remission.

人们开始问我为什么会出现这种情况，为什么我似乎总是拥有惊人的好运。

People started asking me why this was happening and why I always seem to have amazing luck.

我总是处于某种对我而言充满善意或有利的境遇中。

I was always in a situation that was sort of benevolent or beneficent to me.

于是我开始与人交谈，后来逐渐发展成对人们进行指导。

So I began talking to people, and it turned into coaching people.

我会说，好吧。

I would say, okay.

我们开始吧。

Here we go.

这是指导原则。

This is the instruction.

请仔细听好。

Pay close attention.

如果某件事让你感觉特别好，如果它能滋养你的灵魂、身体和心灵，或许可以多做些这样的事。

If something feels really great to you, if you can feel it feeding your soul and your body and your heart, maybe do a little more of that.

但如果某件事总是让你精疲力尽、痛苦不堪，或许就该少做些。

But if something always drains you and leaves you feeling miserable, maybe do less of that.

这其实不是什么高深学问。

Like, this is not rocket science here.

但我要重申一遍让它更清晰，因为奇怪的是，人们总是难以理解这一点。

But I'm I'm gonna repeat it to make it crystal clear because weirdly, people have trouble wrapping their minds around it.

所以我要告诉所有听众：如果你想尝试这个方法——无论是某个人、某个地方、某项任务，甚至某个念头（特别是念头），如果这个特定事物让你感到平静快乐，让你的肌肉放松、脸上自然露出笑容，那就多做些这样的事。

So I'm gonna say to whoever is listening, if you wanna try this, if a person, a place, a task, even a thought, in fact, especially a thought, if that specific thing feels peaceful and joyful and makes your muscles relax and your face smile spontaneously, do more of it.