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在德雷塞尔大学的四年里，诺亚和我经常去图书馆，拍摄那些视频，做各种搞笑短剧，尝试不同的创意。
Four years of going to Drexel University, Noah and I just were going in the libraries, filming those videos, doing skids, experimenting with all different types of concepts.
我们的订阅人数从第一年的大约13,000人增长到毕业时的约500万人。
And we went from about 13,000 subscribers our man year to about 5,000,000 by the time we graduated.
如果有人有物质使用障碍问题，请拨打1 placement。
If someone has a problem with substance use disorder, please call 1 placement.
电话是（888）831-1581。
That's (888) 831-1581.
如果我们无法帮助您，我们会为您转介给能提供帮助的人。
And if we can't help you, we'll make a referral to someone who can.
One Call Placement 与Carrera治疗康复与水疗中心以及One Method治疗中心有合作关系。
One Call Placement is affiliated with Carrera Treatment Wellness and Spa and One Method Treatment Centers.
今天，我邀请了嘉宾瑞安·伯顿来到节目，伙计。
Today, I have guest Ryan Burton on the show, man.
非常感谢你参加《We're Out of Time》这个节目。
Thank you so much for coming on We're Out of Time.
谢谢你邀请我。
Thank you for having me.
老兄，我看了你拍的一个特别搞笑的视频，你在大学图书馆里戴着耳机。
Dude, I saw the funniest video that you did where you're in a college library with your earphones on.
嗯。
Mhmm.
对吧？
Right?
但耳机根本没插在电脑上，你却在女生面前大声放着最炸裂的歌。
But it isn't plugged into the computer, and you're blasting the gnarliest song in front of women.
我当时就忍不住开始录像了。
And I just started rolling.
我 literally 笑得前仰后合。
I was literally laughing out loud.
那感觉怎么样？你当时在
What was that like You in
你知道吗，这种在图书馆里播放不合适的音乐的概念，简直成了一个世代性的爆点，我认为它基本上成就了我的事业，因为在此之前我早就开始做YouTube了。
know, that it's surprising how that concept, the blasting inappropriate music in the library, that is like this generational hit that I would say basically gave me a career, because I was already doing YouTube before that.
但老天，那真的太有趣了。
But, man, that was fun.
我当时还在上大学。
I was in college.
我和朋友一起做了一个YouTube频道，我只是看到有人做过类似的事情，于是我就想
My friend and I had our YouTube channel, and I was just like I saw someone do something similar, and I was
觉得我们可以把这个做得更有趣一点。
like, think we can make this
再搞笑一点。
a little funnier.
我们就这么做了，结果一下子爆红了。
And we just did it, and it was like it just exploded.
那真的非常有趣和激动人心，完全不觉得是在工作。
It was a really fun and exciting and it didn't feel like work.
直到今天人们还在谈论它，这真的太不可思议了。
And people still talk about it to this day, it's really an incredible thing.
是啊。
So yeah.
你是我见过的最搞笑的创作者。
It's the funniest you're the funniest creator that I've ever seen.
真的。
Ever.
那些视频太棒了，你拥有我见过的最好的YouTube频道。
I Those appreciate are the best videos, and you have the best YouTube channel I have ever seen.
真的。
Ever.
太厉害了。
It's sick.
你一定没怎么看YouTube。
You must not watch a lot of YouTube.
有很多YouTuber比我强，但我还是接受这个赞美。
There's a lot of YouTubers better than me, but I will take that compliment.
这真是很谦虚。
That's very self effacing.
我觉得我是自嘲。
I think I am self deprecating.
是啊，没关系。
Yeah, that's okay.
你是最棒的，你一直都很棒。
You're the best, and you've always been the best.
这家伙太厉害了，让人晕头转向。
This guy's so good, it's disorienting.
好吧。
Alright.
我们继续吧。
Let's move on.
现在，你做的其他视频，我都没看过。
Now, the other videos that you do, I did not see.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但我真希望那是我做的。
But that's the one I wish I did.
明白吗？
Okay?
因为这事我一直记在心里。
Because I have it in my mind.
如果我错了，请纠正我。
Correct me if I'm wrong.
好的。
Okay.
你去了所有这些大学。
You go to all these colleges.
对吧？
Right?
嗯。
Mhmm.
你采访这些大学生，就是为了展示他们有多蠢。
And you interview these college students to show how absolutely stupid they are.
20美元上印的是谁？
Who's on the $20 bill?
天哪。
Oh, my God.
什么鬼？
What the fuck?
是总统。
It's a president.
总统。
A president.
是谁的名字？
Whose name is?
本杰明·富兰克林。
Benjamin Franklin.
没错。
That's correct.
天啊，我爱你。
God, I love you.
我爱你。
I love you.
如果你想知道我什么时候爱上你的，就是现在。
If you ever wanna know the moment I fell in love with you, it was right now.
完美。
Perfect.
因为这就是我的风格，老兄。
Because that is my thing, man.
我的意思是，现在这么多孩子都蠢得让人痛苦。
I mean, a lot of these kids today are so stupid, it's painful.
我可没说你们灵魂邪恶，我只是说你们蠢，明白吗？
Now, I didn't say you have bad souls, I just said you're stupid, okay?
因为他们被灌输了这些胡说八道，明白吗？
Because they get indoctrinated into this horseshit, okay?
是的。
Yeah.
所以给我讲讲一个特别搞笑的，你最喜欢的那一个。
So tell me about one that was that went so that was so funny, it's like one of your favorites.
你知道吗，那些视频里有太多这样的时刻了，我们最近在集市上就拍到了，我觉得是橙县集市。
You know, I can there's so many moments of those videos, so I'll do it at we just recently did it at the fair, I believe it's the Orange County Fair.
你总会遇到那些最没头脑的人。
Those you'll get sort of the least intelligent people.
大学校园里已经够糟了，但到了集市上简直更糟，不过两者差不多。
They're already, it's bad on the college campuses, it's almost even worse when you go to the fair, but they're sort of very comparable.
如果你去赶集，那太棒了。
If you go to the fair, That's awesome.
他们还有集市吗？
They still have fairs?
你信不信。
Believe it or not.
当我去那里时，有很多这样的时刻，人们真的可以用‘傻’这个词来形容。
And essentially, when I go there, I there's all these different moments of people that are so we can use the word dumb.
所有评论里的人觉得这些都是假的，他们说这些人肯定在吹牛，是在刷视频，等等。
It's everyone in the comments thinks that it's fake and they're like, these people have to be capping, they're clip farming, they're whatever.
不是的。
No.
我甚至都不用剪辑，他们很少能答对问题，但大多数都答错了，而且有时候他们还会比赛谁最傻，我会跟他们说：嘿，伙计们，谁在这里最傻？
And I don't even have to cut out they rarely they get some of the answers right, but they get most of them wrong and it's really and sometimes they'll be in competition of who's the dumbest, so I'll talk to them and be like, Hey, guys, so who here is the dumbest?
他们说：我，我，我。
And they're like, Me, me, me.
我心想，你们居然为成为最蠢的人这么兴奋，这简直不可能。
And I'm like, There's no way that you guys should be this excited about being the dumbest.
但这就是我们社会的现状，这么做让我感觉自己聪明了一点，评论区里的每个人总是说：看完这个我感觉自己更聪明了。
But that's where we are as a society and doing it makes me feel a bit more intelligent, everyone in the comments is always like, I feel smarter after watching this.
但其实这真的很有趣，你知道吗，人们就是如此，我都能一直聊下去，这太迷人了。
But it's really it's fun, you know, people people just I could talk about this forever, but it's fascinating.
你必须亲眼目睹才能真正明白，天啊，然后人们还会说：这些人居然能投票？
You have to witness it with your own eyes to really see, like, oh my God, and then people are like, these people can vote?
这太疯狂了。
This is insane.
对啊。
Right.
我心想：没错，确实疯狂，天哪。
And I'm like, oh, yeah, it is insane, holy shit.
最糟糕的是，他们还能繁衍后代。
The worst is that they can procreate.
是的，问题就在这里，总是那些智力最低的人繁殖得最多。
Yes, and that's the thing, it's always the ones who have the least intelligence that do the most procreation.
对。
Right.
这简直就是乱来。
It's the really Mix in a rubber.
而总是那些聪明、理性、真正聪明的人不会生八个孩子，至少我是这么认为的。
And it's always the smart, calculated, really intelligent people that don't end up having eight kids, or at least that's what I think.
这是事实。
That's a fact.
对。
Right.
你为什么不要八个孩子？
Why you don't have eight kids?
是啊，我之所以没有孩子是有原因的。
Yeah, there's a reason I don't have any kids,
但人们都27岁了。
but then people You're 27.
嗯。
Yeah.
好吧，你还没孩子，因为你才27岁，你正在享受生活。
Okay, you don't have kids yet, because you're 27, you're living your life.
但我知道一些人，我觉得他们比我稍微没那么聪明，却有六个孩子，我就想，你怎么负担得起？
But then there's other people who I know who I would put, I think they're a little bit less intelligent than me, and they have six, and I'm like, how can you afford that?
你有没有注意过那些特别蠢的朋友，一出道就开始到处撒种，你心里是不是会想：‘哥们儿，你真打算要孩子？’
You ever look at your friends that are really stupid and just, like, from the gate, just start dropping little thoughtlets around with seeds and just like, You're not gonna have kids, are you, dude?
对吧？
Right?
顺便帮基因库出点力
Just kind of help the gene pool out for
这个国家。
the country.
就是这样。
That's the thing.
如果你不够聪明，很多时候你根本不知道自己不够聪明。
If you're not smart, a lot of times you don't know that you're not smart.
这甚至更糟。
That's even worse than that.
当你不够聪明却自以为是天才的时候，
When you're not smart and you think you're a genius,
这种情况也经常发生。
that's That like the happens a lot, too.
通常，最聪明的人反而说自己最笨，或者声称自己什么都不知道。
And usually, the smartest people claim to be the dumbest, or they claim to not know everything.
他们最有谦逊，也最有，没错。
They have the most humility and they have the most That's right.
智慧。
Wisdom.
那就是
That's
对。
right.
嗯。
Yeah.
我敢肯定有一句名言。
It's I'm sure there's some quote.
就像我不会去瞎引用我在Pinterest上看到的那句话，但没错。
It's like the I'm not gonna try to butcher some quote that I saw on Pinterest, but yeah.
但在进入这些问题之前，我还是想知道，你最喜欢的是哪一个？
But I still wanna know, before I get into any of these questions, I wanna know what was the one that you loved the most?
最笨的孩子是谁？
Who was the stupidest kid?
这才是我真正想知道的。
That's what I really wanna know.
哦，这很有趣。
Oh, it's a good one.
这很棒，有很多（有趣的事）。
It's a good There's a lot.
让我想两秒钟，谁是最笨的孩子？嗯，可能最近我也记不清是哪个孩子了，但有些孩子连二除以二都不会。
Let me think for two seconds who was the dumbest Yeah, there was probably like even recently, I can't remember which kid it was, but there were kids that couldn't do like two divided by two.
在最近的一个视频里，我问他们：一辆18轮大卡车有多少个轮子？
There were kids at the most recent video, I said, How many wheels are on an 18 wheeler semi truck?
闭嘴。
Shut the up.
我们刚发布了那个视频，他们居然说24个。
And they we just posted that one and they're like, 24.
我很乐意把那个视频的链接发给你，或者等会儿我们可以一起看，好好享受一下。
I will gladly send you the link to that one and you can Or after this, we can watch it together and enjoy it.
他们简直难以置信。
They're unbelievable.
太棒了。
That's so good.
嗯。
Mhmm.
太棒了。
That's so good.
好了，我们现在开始。
All right, we start now.
好的。
Okay.
你和诺亚是怎么开始做YouTube的？
What's the story of how you and Noah first got into YouTube?
诺亚和我是在六年级认识的，之后在整个中学阶段都一直是朋友。
Were Noah and I met in sixth grade, and we remained friends all throughout middle school.
我们上了不同的高中，但最终决定一起上大学，主修电影。
We went to separate high schools, and basically, we decided let's go to college together and major in film.
他對在網上製作視頻感興趣，我也一樣，我們是好朋友，就決定一起去這所學校繼續發展。
He had an interest in making videos online, so did I, we were good friends, we're like, yeah, let's go to this school and continue.
也許我們想成為視頻導演之類的人。
Maybe we wanna be like a video director or something.
所以我們上了大學，我們兩人都主要專注於打造我們的YouTube頻道，而不是做所有功課。
So we went to school and I focused, both of us, primarily on building our YouTube channel instead of like, doing all the classwork.
你們在成長過程中學到很多嗎？
Did you learn a lot to grow?
你們已經有五千万次觀看量了。
You've got 50,000,000 views.
嗯。
Mhmm.
五千萬訂閱者？
50,000,000 subscribers?
我兩個頻道加起來技術上大約有一千萬訂閱者。
I have technically maybe like 10,000,000 subscribers across the two channels.
一个频道有800万，
Have like 8,000,000 on one, and
我刚看到某个烂东西有五千万。
I just saw 50,000,000 on some bullshit.
我们的一个播放量最高的视频有五千万。
50,000,000 on one of our most viewed video.
太疯狂了。
That is crazy.
嗯。
Mhmm.
不错。
That's good.
我打断你了，你继续。
I interrupted you, go on.
不用，你没问题。
No, you're good.
在德雷塞尔大学四年期间，诺亚和我经常去图书馆，拍摄那些视频，做小品，尝试各种不同的创意，从大一的约13,000名订阅者，到毕业时增长到了约500万。
So from four years of going to Drexel University, Noah and I just were going in the libraries, filming those videos, doing skits, experimenting with all different types of concepts, and we went from about 13,000 subscribers our freshman year to about 5,000,000 by the time we graduated.
而且
And
你们当时学到了什么，才让你们的频道如此爆发式增长？
What did you learn there in order to, like, blow up that way?
如果没有大学，你们还会这么火吗？
Or would you have blown up that way without it?
我觉得我们不会
I don't think we
如果没有大学，我们不可能这么火。
would have blown up without it.
这跟课程内容或实际的知识、摄像技巧之类关系不大。
It was less about the curriculum or the actual knowledge and the camera skills and whatnot.
我们只是学到了一些基础技能，然后把这些应用到我们的电影制作和视频创作中，真正起决定作用的是在课堂之外你做了什么——你可以去上学，完成所有作业和论文，但毕业后可能一无所有，手里只有一张文凭；而真正让我们脱颖而出的，是我们在课余时间所做的事情。
We learned the basics that we then applied to our filmmaking and videos, but it's more about what you do in the real world, or like, you can work, you can go to school and do all the classwork and essays, and then leave there with nothing essentially, you have your piece of paper and then nothing, but it was what we were doing in between the classes that made all the difference.
是与其他人交流，把他们纳入我们的视频中，本质上是在构建一种社区氛围，我该怎么表达呢？
It was speaking with other people, including them in our videos, basically building this sort of community and these how do I phrase this?
我们充分利用了手头的资源，比如我们有可用的计算机实验室，还有
We essentially just took advantage of the resources we had, so we had computer labs available to us and
而且你们有一个社群。
And you had a community.
所以你们有一群都在做同样事情的人，彼此支持，共同推动这件事向前发展。
So you had a community of people that are all doing the same thing, so you're all supportive of each other to move this thing forward.
这真是太棒了。
That's a beautiful thing.
所以我们可以利用同龄朋友，拍‘快乐视频’，一起去图书馆，去教室拍摄，甚至半夜去拍，这些地方基本上都是我们拍摄的免费场地，用于我们的影片、创意和喜剧小品，这就是我们利用学校的方式。
So being able to utilize friends our age, happiness video, be in this, let's go to the library, let's film in this classroom, let's film here at midnight, and they were basically free sets for our film, for our concepts, for our comedy skits and that's basically how we utilized the school.
我没有用到那些知识，而是把设施充分利用了起来。
I didn't use the knowledge, I used the facilities to my advantage.
还有社群，还有那些人，没错。
And the community and And the people, yeah.
你建立了这套体系，你在那儿待了多久？
And you're putting that system, how long were you there for?
四年。
Four years.
好吧，你在大学待了四年，交到了很多朋友，也在不断成长，对吧？
Okay, so you're in a college for four years and you're gaining all these friends, you're also growing up, right?
没错。
Yep.
而且整个课程体系，你真正应用之前，其实并不知道自己学到了什么。
And plus, the totality of the curriculum, you don't really know what you're picking up until you apply it.
没错。
Exactly.
这种方式真的很酷，
It's really cool that way,
对吧？
right?
好的。
All right.
你还记得那个确切的时刻吗？当你意识到：我觉得我们找到方向了？
Do you remember the exact moment you realized, I think we're onto something?
大概是在我们有一段视频获得了十万次播放的时候，那是我们大一的时候，当时有一种平衡车，我不确定。
Probably when we had a video that got 100,000 views, and that was our freshman year where there were these hoverboards, I don't know Sure.
你当时对这种文化有多深入，但只是稍微流行了一下，在Vine上或者人们那里。
How deep you were into the culture at that time, but just a little they were popular on Vine or people
好吧，我知道它们是什么，但我就知道这么多。
Well, know exactly what they are, but that's all I know.
嗯。
Uh-huh.
所以我们拍了一个视频。
So we made a video.
我当时想：等等，我有个主意。
I was like, Wait, I have an idea.
如果我们拍一个视频，讲买平衡车之前该知道些什么，怎么样？
What if we make a video about what to know before you buy a hoverboard?
因为每个人都想买一辆平衡车。
Because everyone wants to buy a hoverboard.
结果直接挂了。
Ends up dropping dead.
所以我们觉得，这个想法很简单：找人们在搜索、感兴趣的话题，拍个视频，这想法太疯狂了。
So we're like it was like a simple concept, type in things that people or make a video about something people are searching up and interested in, crazy concept.
一旦那个视频有了十万次播放，我就想，天啊，我们真的搞出点名堂了。
And once that got a 100,000 views, I was like, oh, shit, like, oh, we're onto something.
然后我想我们可能后来收到过一笔钱，大概是三千美元左右，我当时就想，
And then I think we might've had a check at some point, maybe we got like $3,000 or something, and I was like
为了什么？
For what?
就只是为了AdSense广告收入。
Just for AdSense.
哦，你们真的做这个？
Oh, you guys do that?
视频吗？
The videos?
是啊，我们从来不搞这些。
Yeah, we don't do any of that stuff.
对。
Yeah.
累计一个月我们赚了4000美元，我当时想，天啊，我差点就要退学了，这进展也太疯狂了
Cumulatively, we made $4,000 in a month, and I was like, oh shit, I'm about to drop out, like, this is getting How old old
那时候你多大？
are you at that point?
我上大学时大概17岁，所以是17、18岁左右。
I was probably I went to college, I was 17 when I went to college, so was 17, 18.
4000美元。
$4.
我那时应该是18、19岁。
I must have been 18, 19.
但19岁时就挣了这么多钱，天哪。
Still, that's all the money at 19 Oh, back god.
全部都是这些钱。
All of it.
我也挥霍一空了。
I was blown it too.
那时候还有巴尼纽约百货公司，我去那儿买了些设计师的垃圾，心想：嗯，人生至此，夫复何求。
There was a Barneys New York when that was still a store, went there, bought some designer crap, and I was like, Yeah, it doesn't get better than this.
后来我开始了解税务之类的事，那真是当头一棒。
And I learned about taxes and stuff, and that was a rude awakening.
他们打电话给你，说：我们要回我们的钱？
When they called you and they said, We want our money?
是啊，他们冲进我的宿舍时，我心想：糟了。
Yeah, when they bursted down my dorm room and I was like, Oh, shit.
是啊，那是一段有趣的时光。
Yeah, was a fun period.
对你来说真好。
Good for
伙计，真不错。
you, man.
没有什么比从零开始创造一样东西更酷了。
There's nothing cooler than building something from nothing,
我几乎希望我能回到那个时代，重新感受一切，第一次体验那种感觉。
It's is I almost wish I could go back to that era to feel things, like, to feel something for the first time.
这是一种特别的体验。
It's a special thing.
好吧。
All right.
你有没有拍过一些没发布的搞笑短剧或恶作剧？因为它们太疯狂了，或者发生了什么意外情况？
Do you have any skits or pranks that were filmed but never released because they were too wild or something unexpected happened?
有一些视频我们剪掉了部分内容，因为可能有人说了些极其有争议的东西，我当时就想，算了，我得保护一下他们，因为他们说的那些话太离谱了，我心想，老兄，你未来的雇主可不会喜欢这一句。
There's some videos that we might have cut out portions because maybe the person said something ridiculously controversial or something and I was like, yeah, let me not sometimes I gotta be saving people because they say the most outlandish things and I'm like, dude, your future employer's not gonna like that one,
不过你不用为此担心。
so You don't have to worry about that with me though.
是啊，当然。
Yeah, no.
我没事。
I'm good.
不过我还是得去问问我的雇主。
So Let me check with my employer though.
他说这没问题。
He says it's cool.
我不确定，但有时候我们拍了一些视频，结果SD卡损坏了，就一直没发布出来，但从未出现过什么特别疯狂的情况。
I don't, but sometimes, we've had certain videos that we filmed and then the SD card got corrupted and then we just never got to put it out, but there's never been a situation where something's so crazy.
你们为什么要剪掉那些有争议的内容？
Why do you cut out the controversial shit?
为什么？那才是最精彩的部分，对吧？
Why, that's the best stuff, right?
老实说，因为我关心别人。
Honestly because I care about people.
哦，不，不，不。
Oh, no, no, no.
我们并没有恶意，也不会故意让他们出丑。
Nothing's mean spirited to We make them look don't do that either.
但你们有没有遇到过那种情况，比如拍摄时出了严重问题，或者有人真的特别激动？比如你在图书馆，图书管理员走过来就开始对你大喊大叫。
But you don't have anything that was like something that Something went horribly wrong during it or something like that, or somebody got really Like, I'm looking for something like you're in the library and the librarian comes over and just starts screaming and berating you.
明白吗？
Okay?
就是那种情况。
Something like that.
这种情况从来没发生过，因为我们太温柔了。
That never happened because we are so sweet.
我不主动去找麻烦。
I don't go looking for trouble.
有些YouTuber会故意激怒别人，制造事端。
There are YouTubers that are, like, trying to get a reaction out of people and trying to make a scene.
我认为我们能坚持这么久，是因为我不是那种YouTuber，比如我有逮捕照，警察被叫来，被抓了。
I think that's why we've been able to go so long, is I'm not one of those YouTubers, like, where there's my mugshot and I'm getting arrested, like, cops called.
我没精力去搞那些事。
I don't have the energy for that.
不行。
Not a go.
如果有人行为疯狂，或者保安发疯，或者发生什么情况，我会想：好吧，行，然后我会悄悄改天再回来，或者做点别的——我并不想制造麻烦。
If someone's acting crazy or there's a security guard being crazy or some I'm like, Alright, cool, and then I'll sneakily come back another day or do something to I'm not looking to cause a scene.
很好。
Good.
所以我们从未发生过任何疯狂的事。
So we've never had any crazy things.
那些眼镜是什么牌子的？
What kind of glasses are those?
我不知道品牌，但叫Akeelah。
I don't know the brand, but Akeelah.
这些眼镜真酷。
Those are dope.
谢谢夸奖。
Appreciate that.
嗯。
Yeah.
我之前看到有个人戴过类似的，觉得挺帅的，所以我也想买一副。
I saw them some other guy was wearing something similar, I thought it looked cool, so then I wanted
你做的那个恶作剧，你当时以为我们可能会被逮捕、开除或者被禁入，是哪一个？
What's to buy the one prank you did where you thought we might actually get arrested, expelled, or banned for this?
说实话，一个都没有。
Honestly, none of them.
这和我之前的回答有点类似，我们做的那些事还不够糟糕或恶劣，不至于被逮捕什么的。
It's sort of similar to my other answer where we don't do things bad enough and heinous enough to warrant getting arrested or something.
最好的恶作剧是那些让自己成为笑柄的，而不是让无辜的沃尔玛员工受害的。
The best type of pranks are the ones where you make yourself the butt of the joke as opposed to the helpless Walmart employee.
这就是你做的，这正是我喜欢的地方。
That's what you do in the that's what I loved about it.
嗯。
Mhmm.
因为根本不可能有恶意，因为所有后果都会回到你自己身上。
It's so because there's no chance there's no chance of being mean spirited because it all comes back on you.
其实，笑话是我这个忘了插耳机的傻瓜。
And really, the joke is I'm the idiot who forgot to plug in his headphones.
我太喜欢这个了。
I love that.
没错。
Exactly.
我们又做了一个，是在公共场合打尴尬的电话，我觉得下个月左右我们还会再拍一系列这样的视频。跟我说说这个。
We did another one, embarrassing phone calls in public, and I think we're gonna hit another series of those in the next month or so Tell me about that.
我去的地方通常是我和诺亚一起去大学校园、图书馆或一些公共场所，我假装在打电话，说：‘今晚你最好把我当个坏男孩对待。’
Where I go it'll be me and Noah, we go to either a college campus, library, somewhere public, I act like I'm on the phone call and I'm like, You better treat me like a bad boy tonight.
我太坏了。
I've been so bad.
我们只会说一些最离谱的话，然后人们会对这些话做出各种搞笑的反应。
And we just say the most outlandish things, and then people give these hilarious reactions to things.
好的，没错。
Okay, yes.
我一直在看詹姆斯·查尔斯的扭臀合集。
I've been watching James Charles twerk compilations.
操。
Fuck.
好的。
Okay.
好吧。
Okay.
这很尴尬，但我就是停不下来看。
It's embarrassing, but I can't stop watching them.
不。
No.
它只是出现在我的推荐里，我当时想，詹姆斯·查尔斯扭臀合集？
It just it just came up in my suggested, and I was like, James Charles Torque compilation?
这到底是什么玩意儿？
What what is that even about?
我看了一个，然后又看了一个，再看了一个，心想，操，这小子真会跳。
I watched one, and then I watched another one, and then I watched another one, and it was like, fuck, this nigga know how to move.
哦，你真是个坏女孩。
Oh, you've been such a bad girl.
你太坏了。
You've been so bad.
哦，今晚你就要受惩罚了。
Oh, you're gonna be punished tonight.
别跟我顶嘴。
Do not speak back to me.
我要把你按在桌子上，打到你连坐都坐不直。
I'm gonna bend you over that table and spank you till you can't even sit straight.
说对不起，爸爸。
Say sorry, daddy.
别逼我，别逼我，我在图书馆呢。
Don't make me do not make me I'm at the library.
别逼我提高嗓门。
Don't make me raise my voice.
而且，我记得有一个特别经典的。
And again, I remember there's a really classic one.
我们的好朋友塔菲，那是我们上大学的时候。
Our good friend Tuffy back in the year, back when we were in college.
你和Puffy是朋友？
You're friends with Puffy?
他叫Tuffy，拼写是t-u-f-f-y。
His name's Tuffy, t u f f y.
哦，好吧。
Oh, okay.
他在大学时是我们室友。
He was our roommate in college.
对你来说可能最好了。
It's probably best for you.
走了。
Gone.
他经常会这样，我记得有一次，你明明在人满为患的安静自习室里，却对着电话大喊：‘今晚你最好给我舔干净。’
And he would I was like, right, you're gonna go in there in this crowded study quiet study hall, and you're gonna be on the phone like, You better eat my ass tonight.
那简直太荒谬了，他就会走进自习室，假装在打电话，说着‘今晚你最好给我舔干净’这样的话。
And it's like, it was the most absurd thing, and he would go into these study rooms and act like he's on a phone call talking about, You better eat my ass tonight.
那就是艺术。
That's that's art.
再说一遍，我得发给你那个。
Like, again, I'll have to send you that one.
得给你看看，因为
Gotta show you that, because
这确实是艺术。
It is art.
嗯。
Mhmm.
这事儿我干得出来。
That's something that I would do.
你打扰别人也就三十秒。
You disrupt people for all of thirty seconds.
就这些。
That's it.
然后祝你有美好的一天。
And then have a blessed one.
然后我就走了。
And then I'm out.
而且你告诉他们你要发出去，但不告诉他们你是谁，或者什么都不说
And you tell them you're posting it, nor who you are, or none of
是吗？
that?
偶尔。
Occasionally.
所以他们只是自己琢磨出来，首先，然后就出名了。
So they just figure out, you know, first of all, and then they're just famous.
他们立刻就成了网红。
They're just instafamous immediately.
通常我们会告诉他们，嘿，这个是用来拍视频的，等等。
Usually we will tell them, hey, this is for a video, whatever.
令人惊讶的是，我们从未真正遇到过有人对此有意见。
We've never really had anyone have an issue with it, surprisingly.
对。
Right.
嗯。
Mhmm.
嗯，我们刚听说兰登不是刚告诉我们，观看量就是新的货币吗？
Well, we just found out from didn't Landon just tell us that views are the new currency?
没错。
That's correct.
当然。
Absolutely.
嗯。
Mhmm.
好的。
Okay.
我靠。
I wow.
我们到了。
Here we are.
我知道，兄弟。
I know, bro.
我就是，我真的不明白。
I I just can't I just don't understand.
这就是我们所处的位置。
It's just it's where we are.
这是新的货币。
It's the new currency.
这是一种毒品。
It's a drug.
他告诉我，这就像开着兰博基尼驶入夜总会。
He told me it was like pulling up at the club in a Lambo.
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这基本上就是拥有大量观看量的意思？
Is basically what having a lot of views is?
是的。
Yeah.
你做完这个之后就会爆红了。
You're gonna you're gonna blow up after this.
不过你知道你为什么在这儿吗？
You know why you're here though, right?
我为什么在这儿？
Why am I here?
你在这儿是因为我想得到你的观众。
You're here because I want your viewers.
明白吗？
Okay?
不是因为我在乎，而是因为我根本不关心。
Not because I give a because I don't.
我想要你的观看量，因为你有五千万人看过你的内容，而且他们一直在不断死亡。
I want your views because you got 50,000,000 people who have viewed your stuff and they're dying all the time.
你认识谁是死于？
You know anybody who's died of?
我个人不认识，没有。
I don't personally, no.
你并不认识他们本人，但你知道有人死于
You don't know them personally, but you know of people that have died of
我知道一个，我的一个朋友，他的兄弟就死了。
I know of one a friend of mine, his brother did.
好的。
Okay.
对吧？
Right?
所以对你来说这是真实的。
So it's real for you.
这不是说，哦，那个名人去世了。
It's not like, Oh, that celebrity died.
而是说，我朋友的兄弟去世了。
It's like, My friend's brother died.
对吧？
Right?
嗯。
Yep.
好的。
Okay.
我再也受不了了，因为我有孩子。
I can't take it anymore because I have children.
明白吗？
Okay?
每当我听到有孩子去世的消息，我就知道那些父母完全崩溃了。
And every time I hear a death of a child, I know the parents are completely destroyed.
我的目标是确保再也没有父母要经历这种痛苦，因为除非你有了孩子，否则你根本不懂什么是爱。
And my goal is to make certain that no parent ever has to feel this again because you don't know what love is until you have a child.
你以为你懂。
You think you do.
你爱你的视频，爱你的冰淇淋，爱你的运动。
You love your videos, you love ice cream, you love sports.
不管是什么都一样。
It doesn't matter what it is.
明白吗？
Okay?
你以为一旦有了孩子，一切就完全不一样了。
You think the second you have a child, it's completely different.
嗯。
Mhmm.
你的爱会如此深沉、如此包围着你，对吧？
You're gonna I mean, the love you feel is so enveloping, Right?
嗯。
Mhmm.
因此，失去这样的东西，是人类所能经历的最不自然的事情。
And so to lose something like that is the most unnatural thing a human being can go through.
所以我想做的是，阻止任何人经历这样的事，这就是我们不为此盈利的原因。
So what I wanna do is I wanna prevent anybody doing that, which is why we don't monetize this thing.
这就是我没有赞助商的原因。
It's why I don't have any sponsors.
这就是我不想要钱的原因。
It's why I don't do the I don't want any money.
我不希望任何人说我是为了钱才这么做。
I don't want anybody to ever say I did this for the money.
我想确保每个人都知道我们的灵魂是善良的。
I want to make certain that everybody knows our soul is good.
我们只有一个目的，那就是帮助提升人们的生活乐趣，对吧？
We have one purpose, and that is to help increase people's joy of living, right?
你必须拥有对生活的热爱。
You gotta have a joy of living.
我想关心一下大家的心理健康，好吗？
I wanna check-in on everybody's mental health, okay?
我想确保他们不会去碰那些毒品。
And I wanna make certain that they don't do these drugs.
这就是你在这里的原因，兄弟。
And that's why you're here, bro.
明白吗？
Okay?
我正在利用你，好吗，来让这个世界变得更好，我也希望你内心深处渴望让这个地方比你来时更美好。
I'm using you, okay, to make the world a better place and I'm hoping that you feel inside that you want to leave this place better than you found it to.
是的，当然。
Yeah, absolutely.
对吧？
Right?
你是个善良的人，我知道这就是我们这么做的原因，兄弟。
And you're a sweet guy, I got that's why we do it, man.
这正是我们这么做的唯一原因。
That's the only reason we do it.
明白吗？
Okay?
但我们还没达到那个地步。
We just haven't gotten there yet.
明白吗？
Okay?
我想先让那些充满死亡与破坏的人离开这里。
I want to run people out of here with the death and destruction first.
长期处于聚光灯下，你在抑郁、焦虑或倦怠方面经历过哪些挣扎？
Being in the spotlight for so long, how have you struggled with depression, anxiety, or burnout?
是的，这确实适用于我的生活。
Yeah, that's definitely applicable to my life.
在我大学最后一年，一边应付学业，一边全职做YouTube时，我开始出现恐慌发作、睡眠问题和呼吸急促。
Around my senior year of college, while balancing the schoolwork and the full time YouTube, I started getting panic attacks, sleeping problems, shortness of breath.
我感到焦虑，虽然不算抑郁，但会经历类似很多人会有的抑郁波动。
I was getting the anxiety and, like, the I didn't have depression, but I would I would go through depressive waves, much like a lot of people do.
这种状况我多年来一直都在挣扎，至今仍需不断对抗这些感受——倦怠感和焦虑。
And it was something that I struggled with for years, ultimately, and I still have to combat those sort of feelings all the time, the burnout feelings, the anxiety.
我已经很久没有出现过恐慌发作，因为我一直在努力自我修复，但这些问题依然普遍存在。
I still I haven't had a panic attack in a long time because I've been doing a decent job of fixing myself, but it's very prevalent.
你
What do
你做些什么来确保自己不再有恐慌发作？
you do to make certain that you don't have those panic attacks anymore?
我知道有些简单的事情可以做，低垂的果实
I understand that there are simple things that can be done, low hanging fruit
比如，
of, like,
保持身体健康，积极活动。
physical fitness, staying active.
如果你整天躺在床上，无所事事，吃着彩虹糖，然后你就会觉得
If you just sit in bed all day and rot all day and eat Twizzlers and then you feel
糟糕透顶，就像，嗯，我感觉很糟。
like shit and it's like, well, I feel like shit.
你会想，那你整天都干了什么？
It's like, well, what did you do all day?
什么都没干。
Like, nothing.
你根本没动过，没出过门，没碰过草，没说过话，也没给妈妈打过电话，诸如此类。
You haven't even moved or been outside or touched grass or spoken or called your mom or etcetera.
所以我确保自己至少会活动一下，吃点天然食物，然后和人交流，给父母打电话，和朋友聊聊天。
So I make sure that I'm at least moving, eating something like a whole food, and then speaking to someone, calling my parents, talking to a friend.
你有心理医生吗？
Do you have a therapist?
我没有。
I don't.
你知道为什么吗？
Do you know do you know why?
知道。
Yeah.
其实是因为我看了你的一些节目。
Actually because I was watching some of your episodes.
这正是我想聊的。
This is actually I wanted to get into this.
这是我一直在思考的问题。
This is something I think about.
我曾经试过。
I I had tried to.
我曾经喜欢过一个男生。
I had one guy that I liked.
我没有成功，这对我来说行不通。
I didn't it didn't work for me.
我被推荐了这个概念，怎么
I was put on to this concept How
你做了多久？
long did you do it for?
有一个家伙，我可能和他试了一个月，也许四次或五次，就和这个人。
One guy did maybe a month, maybe you want, maybe four, maybe five times with this one guy.
嗯。
Uh-huh.
然后我尝试了其他人，但我感觉他们并不像我的朋友那样真正关心我。
And then I tried some other people out and I got this feeling of they don't really care about me the way that my friends do.
没错。
That's right.
没错。
That's right.
但你也没找到对的人，A，而且B，你给他们足够的时间。
But you also didn't find the right guy, A, and B, you give them enough time.
首先，所有治疗师，几乎所有的治疗师都有非常善良的灵魂。
What these first of all, all therapists, almost all therapists have real good souls.
对吧？
Okay?
女性的灵魂要好得多。
The women have much better souls.
对吧？
Okay?
所以你或许应该先从女性开始，像我一样先熟悉一下，然后再转向男性来完成这个过程——不是因为男性更好，而是因为你是个男人，你想学会如何在这个世界中应对。
So you might want to start off with a woman, get the hang of it like I did, and then you move on to a man to finish the job, Not because men are better, but because you're a man and you wanna know how to navigate the world
是的。
Yeah.
作为一个男人。
As a man.
我能跟你聊聊这个想法吗？
Can I can I run this concept by you?
我真希望你能说说。
I wish you would.
我觉得男性在并肩而行时更容易建立联系，而男女之间则在面对面时更容易建立联系，这就是为什么很多男性不喜欢心理咨询——因为对很多男性来说，这种方式并不能让他们感觉‘我感觉好多了’。
I think that men bond better when they're side to side and men and women bond better when they're face to face, which is why a lot of men don't like therapy because some for a lot of men, this isn't how they feel like, oh, I feel great after this.
但如果是两个男人一起打高尔夫、保龄球、打电子游戏、钓鱼、运动、足球，我不知道，或者去赌场之类的地方，我觉得男性是在这些活动中建立联系、疗愈、解决问题或经历事情的，而不需要直接面对某个人。
Whereas if two dudes are golfing, bowling, playing video games, fishing, sports, soccer, I don't know, at the casino or something, there's I like men bond or heal or go through, or they can fix their problems or go through things without having to be, like, so directly in front of someone.
这说得通吗？
Does that make sense?
嗯。
Yeah.
我能复述一下你刚才说的话吗？
Can I tell you what you just said?
当然可以。
For sure.
好的。
Okay.
十个女人聚在一起解决问题。
10 women get together, okay, to solve a problem.
十个男人聚在一起解决问题。
10 guys get together to solve a problem.
男人五分钟内就解决了问题。
The guys are done with the problem in five minutes.
他们达成了完全一致，即使一开始并非所有人都同意。
They have complete consensus, even if they didn't all have it at the beginning.
他们说：‘嗯，行吧，随便吧。’
They're like, Yeah, yeah, whatever.
好吧，我们就这么办。
Okay, we'll roll with that.
女人在房间里坐了三个小时。
The women sit in the room for three hours.
她们什么也没做成，却心满意足地离开了。
They don't accomplish a goddamn thing and they walk out feeling great.
原因是，女人并不想解决任何问题，她们只想被倾听。
And the reason is is because women don't want anything fixed, they want to be heard.
男人根本不在乎，他们只想把事情搞定。
Guys don't give a they just want shit fixed.
你刚才说的就是这个意思，对吧？
That's what you were saying, right?
对。
Yeah.
我也觉得，嗯，也许吧，我可不是什么治疗师，也不是心理健康专家，所以我始终愿意听听别人关于如何改善心理健康的建议。
I also yeah, maybe I don't know, I'm also not a therapist by any means, nor am I a mental health expert, so I'm always open to hearing other people's ways of how someone can improve their mental health.
那我来告诉你该怎么做，好吗？
So let me tell you how to do that, okay?
找一个治疗师就像请一个人生教练，能让你保持正确的方向，一旦偏离轨道，它会把你拉回正轨。
Having a therapist is like a life coach, It keeps you on the right trajectory and if you veer off course, it gets you right back on the tracks.
嗯。
Yeah.
明白吗？
Okay?
这是一种终极的奢侈。
It is the ultimate luxury.
这是优雅、负责任的人应对压力和焦虑的方式。
It's how elegant, responsible people deal with their stressors and their anxiety.
这只是一个事实。
That's just a fact.
你是个优雅的人。
And you're an elegant guy.
你才27岁，但你身上有种老成的灵魂和道德指南针。
You're 27 years old, but you come in here with an old soul and a moral compass.
你对每件事都把握得恰到好处，你很有策略，是个聪明人，明白吗？
And you're right sized about everything, like you're strategic, like you're a smart guy, okay?
别让别人告诉你这是种污名。
Don't let people tell you that this is a stigma.
这将影响你的生活、你的快乐感、你对工作的意义感，以及你对人际关系的清晰认知。
This is something that is going to do this with your life and your sense of joy and your sense of purpose and clarity around your job and clarity around your relationships.
你有女朋友吗？
You got a girlfriend?
我没有。
I don't.
正在努力中。
Working on that.
好吧。
Okay.
那你知道吗？
Well, guess what?
如果你能说她的爱的语言，效果会更好。
Works better if you speak her love language.
你知道这意味着什么吗？
You know what that means?
我听说过这个概念。
I've heard of that concept.
是的，但你不懂
Yeah, but you don't
这代表什么。
know what it means.
别担心这个。
Don't worry about it.
这仅仅意味着你要用她希望被爱的方式去爱她。
All that means is you gotta love her the way she wants to be loved.
这就是它的全部含义。
That's all that means.
对吧？
Right?
就像是，你知道的，如果这个女人向你表达爱意，我们不妨换个角度想想。
It's like, you know, if this woman shows love to you, let's turn it around.
如果这个女人因为做饭而向你表达爱意，对吧？她想喂饱她的男人，但你却想：不，我只想要一个随时陪在我身边、能让我笑的人，我只想开怀大笑、好好玩乐、赤身裸体地放松。
If this woman shows love to you because she cooks, right, and she wants to feed her man, but you're like, No, I just want someone who's down all the time and who makes me laugh, and I just want to laugh and have a good time and be naked.
这很重要，
That's a big one,
没错。
yeah.
她却说：宝贝，这就是我表达爱的方式啊。
And she's like, But no, baby, this is how I show you my love.
而你却说：宝贝，如果这就是我想要的，那我早就去和朱莉娅·柴尔德约会了。
And you go, Hey, babe, if that's what I wanted, I'd be dating Julia Childs.
我不想要这个。
I don't want this.
因为我的爱的语言不是这个。
Because my love language isn't that.
所以你得说她的爱的语言，不管那是什么。
So you gotta speak her love language, whatever that is.
这是你在治疗中学到的东西，老兄。
That's something you learn in therapy, man.
这不是你天生就知道的东西。
That's not something that you know.
然后你会被这个女人指导。
And then you get coached by this woman.
不，对女人来说，一切都关乎安全感和一致性。
No, for a woman, it's all about safety and consistency.
我现在有多有吸引力了？
How much more attractive am I now?
好吧，你明白我在说什么吗？
Okay, do you see what I'm saying?
就是这样。
That's all that is.
嗯。
Yeah.
明白了吗？
Okay?
抱歉，我现在有女朋友了。
Sorry, I got a girlfriend now.
太晚了。
Too late.
该死。
Goddamn it.
我喜欢这个。
I like that.
那很棒。
That was good.
对吧？
Right?
嗯。
Mhmm.
好吧，你有什么问题问我吗？
All right, what questions you got for me?
我一路上在想一件事。
I have there was something I was thinking on the drive up.
我听说了一个词，叫‘婴儿化’，我觉得我对自己就是这样。
I heard of this word called, like, infantilization, which I think I do to myself.
这是什么意思？
What is it mean?
把你自己或别人当作孩子来对待，或者再次说，就是被婴儿化的人。
Treating either yourself or others as though they're a child or, again, the term infantilized infant.
比如，如果我说，哦，某某人，他23岁。
So, for example, if I was like, Oh, so and so, they're 23.
他不懂，他才23岁，他不知道。
Well, he doesn't know any better, he's only 23, he doesn't know.
我发现自己总是说：‘唉，我太惨了。’
It's like, I find myself being like, Woe is me.
我管自己叫戏精，然后心想：‘天哪。’
Like, I'm a I will call myself like a drama queen, and I'm like, Oh, God.
这对我来说太难了。
This is so hard for me.
我都27岁了，是个成年男人，我知道自己该做什么，不该宠着自己找借口。
When it's like, I'm 27, I'm a grown ass man, I know what I need to do, and I should not baby myself and make excuses.
我觉得现在人们越来越重视心理健康，这很棒，但我也发现有一大群人把心理健康行业当武器，他们根本没有创伤或真正的严重问题，却总是自怜自艾，成了永久的受害者，你知道吗？
And I think it's I feel like I think it's amazing that people are putting an emphasis on mental health these days, but then I also find that there's a huge cohort of people who sort of weaponize the mental health industry or whatever, and they sort of they don't have trauma or they don't have actual serious ailments, and they just sort of feel bad for themselves all the time, and it's like they become permanent victims, you know?
因为有些人真的有严重问题，也有些人只是在生活中挣扎，如果他们能不找借口，靠自己努力爬起来，情况会好很多。
Because there's people with real issues and serious things, and there's people who just are going through life struggling, and if they, for lack of a better term, pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and snapped out of it, they'd be doing better.
所以我本来想问你，你对人有多严格？
So I was gonna ask you, like, how do you how tough are you on people?
你会不会立刻就说：‘哦，你有创伤，你需要帮助，你童年时的某些经历导致了你现在这样？’
Do you immediately go like, Oh, you have trauma and you need help and there's something in your childhood that's why you are the way you are?
还是说在某些情况下，你会直接说：‘老兄，你现在就是个矫情鬼？’
Or are there situations where it's like, Yeah, dude, you're just being a bitch right now?
这种情况是同时存在的，但我们不叫她们矫情鬼。
It's concurrent, but we don't call them bitches.
好吧。
Okay.
我本来想找个更好的词，但脑子里只想到‘矫情鬼’这个词。
I was trying to find a better word, but bitch was the only thing that came to my head.
不，不，不。
No, no, no.
那个词用得恰到好处。
That was the appropriate word.
我们只是不叫她们矫情鬼。
We just don't call them bitches.
我们在他们接受治疗时，更倾向于给予关爱，而不是狠狠地羞辱他们。
We like to love them up and not shame the shit out of them when they come into treatment.
事实上，这就是我们的基本准则。
In fact, that's our baseline.
爱就是一切。
Love is everything.
明白吗？
Okay?
但爱必须与之并行，对吧？
But it has to go hand in hand, right?
所以我通常告诉人们，每个人的情况都不同，对吧？
So what I usually tell people, it's different for everybody, right?
我不会去糟蹋别人，但我一般会告诉你我自己的感受。
I'm not gonna smoke up people's ass, but I'll generally tell you what comes up for me.
我认为这是人生中的一个障碍。
I think it's a speed bump in life.
如果你虚度了十年，好吧，你失去了这十年，但你在这段时间里并非一事无成。
I think if you've donkered off a decade, okay, you lost that decade, but you didn't accomplish nothing during that period of time.
即使在你看来你什么都没完成，但在十年里你学到了很多，因为你不得不拼命、耍手段、奔波劳碌，甚至偷窃——总之，你获得了一种教育，这将在未来帮助你。
Even if you didn't accomplish anything in your mind, you learned a lot in ten years because you had to grind and grift and hustle and steal and whatever you So you got an education of some sort that is going to help you down the road.
我小时候，人们管这叫街头智慧。
They called it street smarts when I was a kid.
你必须告诉人们真相，所以当他们来的时候，你会说：这只是一个障碍，对吧？
You have to tell people the truth, so when they come in, you're like, This is a speed bump, right?
但我们需要在这里做一些工作。
But we're gonna have to do some work here.
然后他们一听到‘工作’这个词，就心想：天哪，我可不是来这儿干活的。
And then they hear the word work and they're like, Oh shit, I didn't come here to work.
我来这儿是为了躲风头，或者为了康复，诸如此类。
I came here get the heat off or I came here to get well and whatever.
所以我告诉他们：听着，你不是来挖沟的。
So I tell them I'm not Look, you're not digging a ditch here.
我也没让你给我家刷墙。
I didn't ask you to paint my house.
好吗？
Okay?
你唯一需要做的就是保持开放和诚实，好吗？并进行那些让你感到不适的对话，但在你真正认清这个问题之前，你会继续喝酒和使用药物，因为你正承受着痛苦。
The only thing you have to do is be open and honest, okay, and have the discussions that are gonna feel uncomfortable to you, but until you get right sized on this thing, then you're gonna continue to have to drink and use because of the pain you're in.
好吗？
Okay?
但我曾经也经历过这种痛苦，而我现在已经没有了。
But I've had that pain, and I don't anymore.
我当时就跟你们一样。
And I was just like you.
你要传达给人们的正是这种信息，而不是说，‘你真是个讨厌鬼’。
And that's kind of the message that you give people, not, you know, you're being a bitch.
有时候，当有人没完成他们该做的事时，我会彻底爆发，你知道的，不管怎样，他们就会得到全套待遇。
Now, sometimes I lose my shit when somebody hasn't done what they were supposed to be doing, you know, whatever, and then they get the full Monty.
好吧，他们就会得到完整的‘里奇’式对待，但这种情况非常罕见，因为我有一支比我更优秀的团队。
Okay, then they get the full Rich, But that's very rare because I've got a staff that is better than me.
我还有个问题想问你。
I've got another question for you.
好的，先生。
Yes, sir.
在我看过的你的另一个播客中，你说你大约在37岁的时候戒酒了，是吗？
From one of your other podcasts that I watched, you said that you got sober or something around 37?
对，是32岁还是37岁，我记不清了。
Yeah, was 32, 37, I forget.
我从12岁就开始酗酒，浪费了二十五年，所以不管12加多少是37，对吧？
I started getting loaded from twelve on, and I lost twenty five years, so whatever '12 is 37, okay?
所以从37岁开始，我在3年里戒了酒。
So then from '37, I got sober in 'three.
所以
So
我也一样，虽然我不太能感同身受，但我能理解那种感觉——觉得自己虚度了光阴，做了些不该做的事，浪费了时间。
I to, I don't relate to that, but I relate to the concept of feeling like I lost time and dicking around doing things I shouldn't have been doing and wasting time.
你会对那些觉得自己浪费了所有时间的人说什么呢？
What would you say to someone who feels as though I lost all this time?
就像，这有什么意义？
Like, what's the point?
你在上一个回答中稍微提到了这一点，但那种感觉就是你
You sort of just touched on it in the previous answer, but that feeling like you
这是世界上最美好的感觉。
It's the best feeling in the world.
你知道为什么吗？
Do you know why?
为什么？
Why?
因为它会带来痛苦。
Because it causes pain.
是的。
Yeah.
当你感到痛苦时，就会产生改变。
And when you have pain, that creates change.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道在没有痛苦的情况下如何创造改变吗？
Do you know when you create change without pain?
如果你像我一样？
If you're like me?
会发生什么？
What happens?
永远不会。
Never.
只有当我痛苦到一定程度时，我才会改变。只有两件事能让你改变。
I change when I'm in enough pain to There's only two things that make you change.
要么是积极的事物或快乐，要么是痛苦。
Something positive or Pleasure or pain.
嗯。
Yep.
那是什么意思？
How's that?
快乐或痛苦。
Pleasure or pain.
如果你真的很爱一个人，你就想为他们改变。
If you really love someone, you wanna change for them.
如果你在孩子面前表现得某种样子，而他们开始模仿，你会想改变，因为你不希望你的孩子那样行事。
If you're acting a certain way around your kids and they start modeling it, you want to change because you don't want your children behaving that way.
嗯。
Yeah.
对吧？
Right?
但通常，这种改变源于巨大的失败。
But usually where it comes from is massive failure.
嗯。
Yeah.
明白吗？
Okay?
然后95%的人在那里放弃了。
And then 95% of the people give up there.
不管有多难，当事情变得特别艰难时，人们会说：你知道吗？
No matter how hard if it gets really hard, people say, You know what?
我不干了。
I'm done.
我不干了。
I'm done.
这说得通吗
Did that make sense to
吗？
you?
不，这我很明白。
No, that made sense.
对吧？
Right?
整个理念就是，你看，我以前总是硬扛着， okay，就是拼命往前冲，对吧？
The whole idea is you Look, I used to just lean into it, okay, and kind of just push push my way through it, right?
现在我就直接冲过去，老兄。
Now I just run through it, dude.
现在我就只是直接冲过去，就像它根本不算什么一样，okay？
Now I just like like just run right through it like it's nothing, okay?
我一感到害怕，而我经常这样。
The second I feel scared, and I do all the time.
听我说。
Listen to me.
我经常这样。
I do all the time.
人们总是会感到害怕。
People get scared all the time.
关键在于你如何应对恐惧。
It's what you do with the fear.
你是让恐惧阻止你前进，还是直接冲过去，把它打得落花流水？
Do you let it keep you from moving forward, or do you run through it and beat the shit out of it?
明白吗？
Okay?
砰。
Boom.
就这样。
That's it.
完事。
The end.
我喜欢这个。
I like that.
是的，每当我面对问题、恐惧或其他事情时，我总会想到，我脑子里总有两个声音，就像肩上的天使和魔鬼一样，不管你怎么称呼它。
Yeah, it's a I always think about when dealing with issues or fear or anything, there's always two voices in my head, or it's essentially like the angel and the devil on my shoulder or whatever you wanna call it.
总有一个声音告诉你逃跑，别做那件事，那太可怕了，太吓人了。
There's always a voice telling you to either run away or don't do that or that's scary, that's intimidating.
而另一个声音则是真正的你，告诉你应该去做这件事，它知道你该怎么做，但你却试图压抑它。
And then there's always a voice that is really you being like, you should do this or it knows what you should do, but you try to suppress it.
比如，来这儿之前，我特别想吃一块士力架，但我知道，吃完了大概一小时后我肯定不会感觉好。
Like, before I came here, really wanted a Twix and I knew I was like, dude, you're not gonna feel good in like an hour after you eat that.
于是我听从了那个我知道是对的声音，决定来这儿之前先喝一瓶零卡路里、零糖的低糖佳得乐。
And I and I I listened to the voice that I knew was right and I said, I'll drink a zero calorie I'll drink a zero sugar low Gatorade before I get here.
它能给我一点甜味，但不会让我吃到巧克力和那些乱七八糟的东西。
It'll give me a little sweetness but it's not gonna be the chocolate and the fucking all that shit.
而那个好的声音最终胜出了。
And the good voice prevailed.
所以，这个好的声音就是你最健康的部分，有些人称之为最好的自己，对吧？
So the good voice is the healthiest part of you, Some people call it your best self, okay?
有些人称之为你的最高自我，但它是你最健康的部分。
Some people call it your highest self, but it's the healthiest part of you.
另一部分，你就像个孩子，对吧？
The other part, you're in your child, right?
这意味着，当你身处外界，感到胸膛挺起、充满自信，觉得自己是男子汉，昂首阔步地生活时，你是什么感觉？
And what that means is, you know when you are out in the world and you're feeling like your chest is out and you're feeling confident and you're the man and you're walking through life and you feel confident?
但还有些时候，你走路时却觉得自己像个孩子似的畏缩不前。
But then there are other times you walk through life and you feel like you're backing your child.
明白吗？
Okay?
我认为这正是很多情况的根源。
I think that's what a lot of that is.
我意识到自己拥有这些工具，对吧？
I notice I've got the tools, right?
所以每当我陷入那种状态，我就会想：去你的。
So I notice every time I get in that, I'm like, Fuck you.
你太棒了。
You're the shit.
你是专家。
You're the expert.
你是父亲。
You're the dad.
你就是这一切。
You're all of that.
对吧？
Right?
所以每个人都会遇到这种情况。
So it happens to everybody.
所以一旦你发现自己进入了孩子的状态，你只需要静下来问自己：我到底是谁？
So as soon as you find yourself in your child like that, all you have to do is get quiet and say, Who am I really?
我到底是谁？
Who am I really?
你究竟是谁？
Who are you really?
你究竟是谁？
Who are you really?
你是说，假设性地，我必须回答这个问题吗？
Are you saying that hypothetically, do I have to answer that?
不，你根本不用做任何事，因为奴隶制早在1860年就废除了，但你可以告诉我，好吧，你可以回答这个问题，因为我们现在就要做点什么。
No, you don't have to do shit because slavery ended in 1860 But you get to tell me, okay, you get to answer that question because we're gonna do something right now.
我是谁？
Who am I?
我喜欢这个问题。
I love that question.
我是谁？
Who am I?
因为这个问题很宽泛。
Because it's broad.
好吧，我来帮你。
Okay, let me help you out.
那全是胡说八道。
That's all bullshit.
你已经走错方向了。
You're going in the wrong direction already.
很好，很好，很好。
Great, great, great.
以你最高的自我来说，好吗？
As your highest self, okay?
以上帝看待你的方式，你是谁？
The way God sees you, who are you?
因为那就是真正的你。
Because that's who you are.
我依然完全不知道。
I still don't even know.
这不重要。
Doesn't matter.
我来告诉你这是谁。
I'll tell you who that is.
一个聪明、优雅、富有同理心、沉稳、有战略眼光、心地善良且道德感强的人。
A smart, elegant, empathetic, measured, strategic, good soul with a good moral compass.
这就是你。
That's who you are.
还有很多其他方面。
And there were a lot of other things, too.
明白吗？
Okay?
我不会不同意你的说法。
And I won't disagree with you.
我对自己的感受也是如此。
I feel that way about myself.
这完全正确。
That's exactly true.
完全对。
That's exactly right.
好吧？
Okay?
我的意思是，你才27岁，却走进来谈论全食。
I mean, you're 27 years old and you walked in here talking about whole foods.
香蕉就是香蕉，牛排就是牛排，明白吗？
That's a banana's a banana, steak's a steak, okay?
这是单一成分的食物。
It's one unit foods.
食物只是一种东西。
The food is only one thing.
好吧？
Okay?
我可以坐在这里说上二十年，如果我说得太多了，请打断我。
I could sit here and talk for twenty years, so cut me off if I am talking too much.
我还有个问题想问你。
I had another question for you.
请说。
Please.
你是个有钱人，是个成功的人。
You're a wealthy guy, you're a successful guy.
好吧，首先，我们得说清楚一件事。
Okay, first of all, let's get something straight.
世界上有两千六百或两千七百个富人。
There's 2,600 or 2,700 wealthy guys in the world.
好吧，我勉强算个有钱人，
Okay, I'm barely rich,
但你继续说。
but go on.
好吧，如果你只是勉强算有钱，那我就是
Okay, if you're barely rich, then I am
穷得叮当响。
Piss poor.
就是这样。
There you go.
对，穷得一无所有。
Right, ass broke.
没错，这个说法也不错。
Yeah, that's a good one, too.
还是你来说比较好，因为我说出来听起来会显得刻薄。
It's better that you say it because it comes off mean spirited when I say it.
那个刻薄的人。
The mean spirited guy.
你真的不知道这个吗？
Can you not know this?
作为一个27岁的人，你对生活有什么是我所不知道的？
What do you know about life that I, as a 27 year old, don't?
我想看看你拥有的东西和你经历过的那些事，我只是想从你这里收集一些智慧的碎片。
I want to I see the stuff you have and the things you've been through, and I just want to collect some wisdom tokens from you.
你能给我一些概括性的人生建议吗？
Can you give me any general sweeping life advice?
当然。
Sure.
首先，每个人都会把他们的第一笔财富挥霍掉。
First thing is everybody donkeys off their first fortune.
那不是我的第一笔财富，好吧？
That wasn't my first fortune, okay?
但没关系。
But that's okay.
你是不是把那最初在五分钟内赚到的4美元也挥霍掉了？
You donkeyed off that first $4 that you got in five minutes, right?
是的，从技术上讲，远不止这些，没错。
Yeah, more than that technically, far more than that, yeah.
对，但你必须这么做，因为你需要多次经历才能学到这个教训。
Right, but you have to, because you have to do that numerous times in order to learn the lesson.
你知道这个教训是什么吗？
Do you know what the lesson is?
别把钱花光？
Hold on to fucking more of your money?
是的，但那没什么意义。
Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything.
你知道这个教训是什么吗？
Do you know what the lesson is?
这个教训是什么？
What's the lesson?
东西并不重要。
Things don't matter.
你买不到任何能让你快乐的东西。
There's nothing that you can buy that's going to make you happy.
什么都买不到。
Nothing.
事情不是这样的。
It doesn't work that way.
它只会给你短暂的一点快乐。
It'll give you a little joy for a little bit.
明白吗？
Okay?
通常，我刚跨进买这些东西的地方，快乐就结束了。
It typically gave me joy right up until I crossed the threshold of the place I bought the stuff at.
连门都没走出去。
Like, I didn't even make it outside.
快乐就持续了那么久，那就是它让我开心的时间长度。
That's how long it kept that's how long it made me happy.
我不在乎这些东西。
I'm not about things.
就是别做那些事，好吗？
Just don't do things, okay?
我现在意识到，我以前在有孩子之前，就像一只在轮子上跑的老鼠。
Now, what I realized was I wasn't I was a rat on a rat wheel before I had kids.
现在，大多数人不想生孩子，因为他们觉得这会花掉我太多钱。
Now, most people don't want to have children because they think it's gonna cost me too much money.
对吧？
Right?
我还没到那一步。
I'm not there yet.
如果你想赚钱，最好马上生孩子。
Okay, you better have kids right away if you wanna make money.
我的意思是，别因为‘嘿，你就像一张该死的彩票’就去生孩子。
I mean, don't have kids because Hey, you're like a goddamn lottery ticket.
这不是我的意思。
That's not what I'm saying.
我的意思是，当你有了孩子，情况就不同了。
What I'm saying is when you have a child, okay, it's different.
你心中的爱完全不一样了。
The love in your heart is completely different.
换句话说，就我一个人而言，我不必去创造我所创造的那些东西。
You've loved some In other words, for me alone, it wasn't I wouldn't have had to create what I've created.
我今天不会需要我所需要的东西，因为我是一个人。
I wouldn't have needed what I needed today because I'm alone.
要么就只是我，要么就只是我的女朋友，或者只是其他什么人。
And it's just me or it's just my girlfriend or it's just whatever.
对吧？
Right?
但一旦你当了爸爸，有了孩子要照顾，你就真正投入进去了。
But the second you're a dad and you've got a child or children to take care of, now you're on it.
现在这可不是随便说说，‘哦，我刚荒废了十年’。
Now it ain't manufactured like, Oh, I just donkeyed off a decade.
我得把我的事收拾好。
I better get my shit together.
现在我是爸爸了。
Now it's like, I'm the dad now.
我得为这个负责。
I'm responsible for this.
然后你冲出去，一下子全爆发了。
And you go out and you just blow right up.
哇。
Wow.
明白吗？
Okay?
这可能就是我想说的，你看，我总是跟这些孩子这么说，但你还年轻，所以你其实还不需要这个。
And that is probably the thing that I would Look, that and, you know, I always tell these kids, but you are early, so you don't really need this.
你是目前为止这里一百个人里大约三个之一吗？
You're like one in, what, three people out of the 100 that have been here so far?
这算早了。
That's early.
明白吗？
Okay?
所以我告诉别人，如果你来得早，那你其实已经晚了。
So I tell people if you're in early, you're late.
明白吗？
Okay?
如果你只是出现了，你会想：什么？
And if you just show up, you're like what?
你已经领先了其他人80%。
80% ahead of the other people.
你比其余80%的人都要领先。
You're ahead of the 80% of the rest of the folks.
然后你准时到达，就已经领先了其他人85%。
And then you show up on time, that's 85% ahead of everybody else.
然后你准时到达并带着计划，现在你就领先了其他人90%。
And then show up on time with a plan, now you're 90% ahead of everybody else.
如果你准时到达、带着计划并付诸执行，那你就能领先其他人95%。
And show up on time with a plan and execute it, now you're 95% ahead of everybody else.
所以有很多这样的事情。
So there's all sorts of things.
时间管理是另一个要点，明白吗？
Time management is another one, okay?
我在两小时内完成了八篇媒体采访，因为我的时间管理 impeccable。
I did eight press pieces inside of two hours, okay, because my time management was impeccable.
来去匆匆，来去匆匆。
In and out, in and out.
我在纽约只待了二十二个小时。
I was in New York for twenty two hours.
来去匆匆，老兄。
In and out, man.
一堆事要处理，对吧？
Shit to do, right?
这回答了你的问题吗？
Did that answer your question?
嗯。
Yeah.
我觉得你很有智慧。
I feel like you're you have a lot of wisdom.
你有很多东西可以分享，那女性呢？
You have a lot of things that you could What about women?
关于女性整体呢？
What about women in general?
比如在建立关系方面，陷入与不同女性约会、不断换对象的享乐 treadmill 中，我想知道你对婚姻的看法。
Like, when it comes to having relationships, being on the hedonic treadmill of being with different women and dating around, I wanted to know your perspective on that marriage.
因为你让我信服了关于孩子的事。
Because you sold me on the kids thing.
我今晚不会把这事了结。
That's I'm not wrapping it up tonight.
好。
Good.
好。
Good.
好吧，如果你打算在这里约会某人，这很重要，明白吗？
Well, you want to date somebody here, that's important, okay?
你一生中最重要的决定，就是选择和谁生孩子。
Biggest decision you'll ever make in your life is the person to have children with.
这是你唯一必须做对的决定。
That is the only decision you have to get perfect.
明白吗？
Okay?
否则，你将为自己设定一个充满欺骗与失望的人生，伙计。
Otherwise, you have set yourself up for a life of deceit and disappointment, my man.
嗯。
Yeah.
明白吗？
Okay?
懂了吗？
Got it?
这是一场疯狂的赌博，因为那是我害怕的东西。
It's crazy gamble because that's something I fear.
这就是我犹豫是否结婚的原因，但也是我问起女性的原因。
That's why I'm hesitant to get married, but that's why I asked about women.
嘿，
Hey,
我给你上一课。
I'll you a little lesson.
你知道你必须娶谁吗？
Do you know who you have to marry?
一个不把观点当作货币的人。
Someone who doesn't view views as currency.
我同意这一点，
I could agree with that,
是的。
yeah.
一个没有像这样的社交媒体账号的人，不管那是什么。
Someone who doesn't have a social media account like this, whatever the that is.
那一个不会在内衣里对着镜头假唱跳舞的人呢？
How about someone who's not dancing around lip syncing in their underwear?
是的。
Yeah.
明白吗？
Okay?
那OnlyFans呢？
And OnlyFans?
不，不行。
No, no.
除非她展示的是脚，因为我听说可以展示脚。
Unless she's showing her feet because I hear you can show your feet.
是啊，上次在这儿有个家伙，我问他：我在OnlyFans上能赚多少钱？
Yeah, some guy who was here last time, I said, How much money can I make on OnlyFans?
他说：你？
He says, You?
每个月60到70美元。
60 to $70 a month.
什么？我说：那我得露我的那个部位吗？
What the And I'm like, See, said, Do I have to show my crank?
他说：不用。
He goes, No.
我说：我可以只露脚不露脸吗？
I said, Can I show my feet and not my face?
他说：可以。
He goes, Yeah.
我又问：我的脚能卖多少钱？
And I said, How much for my feet?
他回答：我不知道。
And he goes, I don't know.
这肯定有市场。
There's gotta be a market for it.
他问：这有市场吗？
Said, Is there a market for it?
他点头说：有。
And he's like, yeah.
我就想：这些人真够疯狂的。
And I'm like, These people are so up.
我从未见过这样的事情。
I've never seen anything like it.
从未见过。
Never.
是啊，我们正生活在一个不同的时代，
Yeah, we're living in a different era,
明白吗？
okay?
所以一定要找到，嘿，你知道我喜欢谁吗？
So make certain you find, hey, you know who I like?
因为我现在才开始接触社交媒体。
Because I'm just now getting on social media.
我的意思是，社交媒体。
I mean, does the social media.
你们给我打电话时，其实是在和迪伦说话，知道吗？
You guys are talking to Dylan when you call me, you know?
他只给我看那些人们陷入困境的糟糕内容。
He only shows me the shit that where the people are in trouble.
然后我处理你的情况，好吧，再把你转介出去。
Then I deal with you, okay, and I refer you out.
但你知道，其他时候，你都是在和迪伦打交道。
But, you know, otherwise, you're dealing with Dylan.
我最喜欢的那个社交媒体人物关注了3500人，只有1200个粉丝，好吧？
The person the person who I like most on social media follows 3,500 people, has 1,200 followers, okay?
你看看她的Instagram，她没穿得暴露，但玩得很开心，对吧？
And you look at her Instagram and she's not naked but she's having a good time, right?
就是那种有分寸的女孩。
And just, you know, that's the kind of girl who's measured.
是的，我喜欢这样。
Yeah, I like that.
我还能聊多久？
How much more time do I have to talk?
你
You
你想谈多久就谈多久，因为他挑的是格伦加里的单子。
have as much time as you want because he picks out the Glengarry's.
真正能帮助人们摆脱困境的是什么？
What actually helps people snap
从他们所处的困境中走出来？
out of the rut that they're in?
当你看自助类YouTube视频，或者去巴诺书店买十本《如何拯救你的生活》《不介意的艺术》之类的书时，你会获得一种安慰感，而我以前就是这样，买一堆自助书籍，心想：天啊，我真是找对路了。
There's you get this sort of comfort when you're watching self help YouTube videos or of going to Barnes and Noble and buying 10 how to unfuck your life and subtle art of not giving a and then I would do this where I buy books about self help and be like, god, I'm really onto something.
但根本连看都不看。
Wouldn't even open it.
现在有一些观众正处在艰难的境地中。
There's people watching right now that are in a tough spot.
有些人付不起康复费用，有些人感到迷失，他们的妈妈讨厌他们。
People can't some people can't afford rehab, some people feel lost, their mom hates them.
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