#53 成年人的交友烦恼

你好！我是道尔顿，正在交朋友。

Hello! I'm Dalton Making friends.

不想

Don't want to the

kako？好吧，正在交朋友。你觉得最近交了很多朋友吗？

kako? Okay, well making friends. Do you feel like you've made a lot of friends recently?

最近？嗯。没有，

Recently? Yeah. No,

我是说，作为成年人，你觉得有交到更多朋友吗？

I just mean more like as an adult, do you feel like you've made extra friends?

我想是的。嗯，

I think so. Yeah,

我的意思是，你现在住在美国了，所以情况可能很不一样。

I mean, I guess you live in America now, so it's probably pretty different.

你呢？

How about you?

确实，我现在视为朋友的人大多都是最近几年认识的，大概过去五年左右。所以我肯定不像高中时期那样和那么多人保持联系了。与其说是失去，不如说是和那些关系逐渐疏远了。不过当然，还是有少数人一直保持着联系。

Yeah, in fact most of the people that I consider my friends now I met in the last couple of years really, last five years or so. So definitely I don't talk to as many people as I used to in like high school or whatever. I lost, not lost, but I just grew apart from most of those relationships. But of course, there's still some people that I keep in contact with.

是吗？你这么觉得？感觉...是啊。

Yeah. You think so? Feeling. Yeah.

哪些方面不一样呢？成年后感觉更像是要赢得成为别人朋友的资格。而小时候只要在同一个沙坑玩、在同一个游乐场，我们就是朋友了。你觉得是情况真的变复杂了，还是我们自己给自己施加了太多压力？不，我完全同意你的看法。

What kind of stuff is different? Yeah, it feels more like you almost have to like earn the right to be someone's friend as an adult. Whereas as a kid it was just like, if you're in the same sandbox as me, you're in the same playground as me, like we are friends. Do you think it's actually more different, or do you think we just put more pressure on ourselves so it feels more difficult? No, I agree for sure.

我觉得作为成年人，我们往往对承诺有种微妙的恐惧——一旦和人变得亲近，他们就会指望我们帮忙搬家或满足各种需求。很多成年人会担心被卷入自己本不想参与的事情。但本质上，我们始终还是那个只想在沙坑里交朋友的小孩子，对吧？

And I think like as adults, we tend to have like a subtle or small fear of commitment, sort of, where like if we become close with people, then they're gonna rely on us to like help them move or like provide them with whatever they need. And I think we some people as adults, they get like worried about like getting dragged into stuff that they didn't really sign up for. However, I do think that naturally we are always still the same little kid that just wanted to make friends in the sandbox. Right?

所以我

So I

认为即使成年后，交友本质上仍是轻松简单、充满乐趣且自然而然的事，我们不必给自己压力或担心可能引发的后果。虽然人们这样做很正常也很普遍，但我觉得这种心态本身并不自然。这个问题让我想到另一个问题：你如何严格界定朋友和非朋友的界限？

think that making friends together even as adults is inherently easy and simple and fun and natural, and we don't have to put this pressure on ourselves or have these fears of what it could lead to. I think that that's normal for people to do that because it's so common. I don't think it's natural though. It's unnatural to feel that way in my belief. That that question brings up another question in me, which is like, how do you do you draw like a strict line of like, how do you decide who is a friend and who's not a friend?

你知道吗？因为有些人我至今仍保持着定期联系，比如十年、十二年甚至十四年以上。但说到那些我每周都会特意去聊天，或者一年见几次面的人，他们大多属于另一个不同的圈子，你懂吗？

You know? Because there are people that I'm still in contact with somewhat regularly from, you know, ten, twelve, fourteen plus years. But in terms of people that I like legitimately go out of my way to talk to every week or like meet up with a couple of times a year or whatever, most of those people are like in a different category, you know?

你知道的。不。

You know that. No.

是啊。我完全同意你刚才说的最后一点。比如，我去参加了一个高中朋友的单身派对，大概是去年或前年的事。嗯。看到所有那些重新聚在一起的朋友圈动态真的很有趣，因为在那之前我已经完全处于不同的朋友圈好几年了。

Yeah. I totally agree with that last thing you just said. Like, I I went to a friend's bachelor party, a friend from high school, a bachelor party, I think it was last year or two years ago. Mhmm. And it was just so interesting to see all of, like, the friend dynamics of all those friend groups that come back together again because I had been in such a totally different, like, friend group space for years at that point.

所以回到那些高中老友身边还挺搞笑的。没错。非常有趣，我笑了很多。那是个类似的情景，我和高中同学重聚，但那次是另一个不同的场合。

So going back to, like, the the old high school friends was pretty funny. Yeah. It was very fun. I was I laughed a lot. Was that was a similar situation where I was re uniting with my high school friends, but that was for a different different instance.

看吧，我一直觉得那个问题有点尴尬。比如'你愿意做我朋友吗？'感觉是个很奇怪的问题。因为就像在问，我到底要承诺什么？

See, I've always thought that that question was kind of uncomfortable. Like, will you be my friend? Just feels like a really weird question. Like yeah. It because like, what am I signing up for?

懂吗？这到底意味着什么？当然，我会和你一起玩。你没必要特意问我'愿意做你朋友吗'这种问题。

You know? Like, what what does this imply? Like, yeah. Of course, I'll hang hang out with you. Like, you don't need to, like, ask me the question, will I be your friend?

他们就像在说，当然，如果你想一起玩，我们就一起玩。用这种方式来定义关系感觉很奇怪。可能这只是英语里的说法吧，我也不清楚。

They're like, of course, if you want me to hang out, we'll hang out. Seems like a weird thing to like declare the relationship in that in that way. Maybe that's just an English thing. I don't know.

还是觉得怪怪的。我

Still weird. I

我想我大概能理解这个问题的出发点，但我不明白它背后的含义，你知道吗？就像你只是想要我的联系方式，因为朋友之间根本不需要问‘我们能做朋友吗’这种话，对吧？如果我们已经相处融洽、经常一起玩、享受彼此的陪伴，我们根本不需要问‘我们能做朋友吗’。我从来不会这么问。

guess I I understand, like, the energy of the question, like, but I don't understand what it implies, you know? Like you just want my contact information, like because friends don't need to ask, will you be my friend? Right? If we were already on good terms and already hanging out and already enjoyed being together, we wouldn't need to ask, will you be my friend? I never asked it.

当有人这样问我时，感觉特别奇怪。好吧。对。对。挺可笑的。

And when somebody asked me, it felt weird. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny.

我

I

猜想可能这只是文化差异吧。我不知道。反正这句话对我来说就是说不通。对我来说，更自然的表达应该是‘好吧，我们下周末约着见面聊聊’或者类似

guess maybe it's just a cultural thing. I don't know. Still just like that sentence doesn't make sense to me. Like, for me, it would be like Okay. Like, let's hang out next weekend and talk about it or like

所以你得说

So you got to say

‘我们通个电话吧’或者‘我们把具体时间定下来’

let's have a call or like, let's let's put something on the calendar.

意思就是让我们做朋友吧。

That means let's be a friend.

你是不是想说...其实我想表达的是，对我来说，'做朋友'这个概念已经隐含在'一起相处、一起玩、互相帮忙'这些行为里了。又不是要结婚，没必要搞得像求婚一样正式问'我可以被称为你的朋友吗？'

Do you wanna yeah. That's what I'm saying though is like, to me, let's be a friend is like implied in the activity of being together and hanging out and doing stuff and like helping each other and that kind of stuff. Okay. Whereas like, you're not like getting married. You don't need to like make a proposal of like, am I allowed to be called your friend or no?

你懂我意思吧？不过我就是小题大做了。其实没...

You know what I mean? But I'm just making a big deal out of something small. It doesn't

太好笑了。

That's so funny.

话说回来，你是怎么交朋友的？我先问的。就是直接过去跟他们聊天吗？

Anyways, how do you make friends? I asked you first. So just like going up to them and talking to them?

对啊。

So Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

所以

So

你是说直接在咖啡馆之类的地方随机搭讪陌生人吗？就像去公园拿着望远镜四处张望那样？对我来说，当有共同兴趣或参加同类活动时更容易与人建立联系。比如我现在最常聊的朋友们，都是在健康疗养会、工作坊、培训项目，或是体操馆、跑酷馆这类地方认识的。我们通过活动或事件相识。纯粹在随机场合偶遇然后成为朋友的情况确实不多。

you're just like going up to random people like at a cafe or something? Like going to a park and like looking around with binoculars like For me, I seem to connect with people when we share a common interest or we're at a similar event or with some kind of activity that we do as a group or something like that. Like a lot of my current friends that I talk to the most, I met at some kind of wellness retreat or some kind of workshop or some kind of program or at like gymnastics gym or a parkour gym or something like that. I met them through an activity or an event. I can't say there's too many people that I've met just and then became friends with just by like being out somewhere random.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我的意思是，虽然活动本身也是随机场合，但至少我们已有共同兴趣。嗯。这让我特别庆幸自己涉猎过这么多不同领域。我们之前聊过，我做过很多不同工作，学过各种艺术形式，训练过多种技能。这让我几乎能和任何人深入探讨任何爱好或兴趣。嗯。这种能力就像交朋友的超能力——我可以和任何人共进晚餐，聊他们的兴趣，而且通常都能真正产生共鸣。

It's always I mean, I guess an event is random, but it's like we already had shared interests Mhmm. Which is one thing that I'm really, like, glad that I I've learned so many things separately, you know. We've talked about this before, but I I've, like, worked a lot of different jobs and studied a lot of different arts and trained a lot of different disciplines. And it's made it so that I can talk deeply about pretty much any hobby or any interest with pretty much anybody Mhmm. Which is it feels like a superpower for, like, making friends because I can just go to dinner with anyone and talk about their interests and be able to actually relate to it usually.

确实很有趣。当然，通过共同朋友介绍也是好方法。比如你见过我朋友迈克吧？

It's fun. Yeah. For sure. I also think you can be like introduced by mutual friends. Like I remember one of my friends, Mike, that you've met.

嗯。当时好几个人都跟我说：'道尔顿，你真该和迈克聊聊，你们特别像，肯定会聊得来'

Mhmm. I had like a bunch of other people. Like several other people were like, yo, Dalton, you should you should talk to Mike. You guys are very similar. You guys you guys would love talking

找个时间吧。确实。

at some time. Yeah.

所以朋友的朋友，绝对是真的很

So friends of friends, definitely really

一种联系。

a connection.

我另一个经常聊天的朋友乔希也是这样。有一次有人给我发邮件说，嘿，我一直在和这个叫乔希的家伙聊天，你们俩非常非常像，你们应该通个电话聊聊。

Another one of my friends, Josh, that I I talked to quite a lot was the same way. Somebody sent me an email one time and was like, yo, I've been talking to this dude, Josh. You guys are very very similar. You should guys hang up if you have a call.

就是那种事情。像是可爱的小小的，嗯，

That kind of thing. Like a cute little Well,

这些都是不同朋友间的联系。不过，是的，就是那种情况。当你有一群非常了解你的人脉网络时，他们就能把你和那些让他们想起你的人联系起来。对，确实如此。这是个好问题。

these are different friends connecting. But, yeah, that kind of thing. When you have like networks of people that know you really well, then they can connect you with other people that remind you of them. Yeah, for sure. That's a good question.

这要看是什么群体。比如回到跑酷这个话题，当我和一大群人一起在户外或健身房做跑酷时，感觉就非常好。在大群体中感觉很自然。但我从来不是那种喜欢大型派对或一起喝酒之类场合的人。这还是要看具体群体，因为现在回想起来，我记得高中时我们会举办很大的游戏派对，大家聚在一起玩《任天堂明星大乱斗》之类的游戏。

It kind of depends on what the group is. Because for example, going back to parkour, like, when I'm with a big group of people and we're doing parkour together outside or at a gym or something, then yeah, it feels very good. It feels very natural to be in a big group. However, I've never been the kind of person to, like, enjoy big party settings or drinking together or anything like that. It's just guess it depends on the group again, because now that I think back, I remember in high school, we would have really big, like, game parties where we would all come over together and play, like, Smash Brothers and stuff.

嗯嗯。嗯嗯。

Mhmm. Mhmm.

在这些情况下，人数多少其实并不重要，因为大家都是亲密朋友。所以重点不在于有多少人在场，而更在于那个空间里人们共同营造的氛围能量。

Which in those cases, again, the how many people were there didn't matter because they were all close friends. So maybe it's it's not about how many people are there, and it's more about, like, what the shared energy of the people is like in that space.

嗯，你当时是怎么想的？

Yeah. What what were you thinking?

确实，我非常同意。当只和一两个人相处时，做自己会容易得多。而如果面对一大群不太熟悉的人，你会感觉自己的能量被拉扯到各种方向——要应对不同性格的人，重复讲述同样的故事，诸如此类。

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree for sure. It's definitely easier to be yourself when you're only relating to like one, two, three people. Whereas if you have a big group of people that maybe you're not close with, it feels like your energy is getting pulled in so many different directions of like different personalities to relate to and different stories you have to retell and all that kind

之类的。是啊。

of stuff. Yeah.

嗯，而且我

Yeah. And I

也有同感。

feel that too.

那么换个更犀利点的问题，就像从福福饼上咬一口那种。

So in a little bit more of a, like, biting out of fufu type question.

哦。

Oh.

你觉得在美国和日本交朋友有什么不同吗？是不是文化差异导致交友方式也不同？是的。可能因为我是外国人，但我觉得在日本确实有很多那种奇怪的微小互动。对。

How do you feel about the differences between, like, making friends in The US and making them in Japan? Do you feel like it's culturally different the way that you, like, make friends? Yeah. Maybe it's just because I'm a foreigner, but I feel like I did have a lot of, like, those weird little interactions with people in Japan. Yeah.

大概就因为我是外国人吧。不过反过来也一样。我觉得别人会觉得更容易和我交谈，因为我就像个总是微笑的

Just because I'm a foreigner probably. Well, went the other way too. Like, I think other people found it easier to talk to me because I was just like a smiling

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

金发男。对。看。那语言差异呢？你觉得因为英语是第二语言，所以交朋友困难吗？

Kimbatsu man. Yeah. See. What about the difference between, like, the languages? Do you feel like it's difficult to make friends because English is your second language?

上一个问题是关于日本和美国在交友方面的差异。对吧？现在我想问，你是否觉得因为

The previous question was about the difference between Japan and The US making friends. Right? So now I'm asking, do you feel like it's difficult to make friends because of

语言。英语

Language. English

作为你的第二语言？我

being your second language? I

喜欢。这很酷。朋友？

like it. That's cool. Friend?

是啊。通过学习两种文化中不同的可能性，感觉自己变成了一个不同的人，这很酷，你知道吗？其实我在日本...首先，我已经很久没有真正在那里生活过了。大概有五六年的时间吧。

Yeah. It's cool to like feel yourself become a different person by learning the different options that are available in both cultures, you know? Yeah. I feel like in Japan well, first of all, I haven't really spent a I haven't really, like, lived there in a long time. It's been, you know, five, six years, something like that.

不，我只在那里住了大概六个月，但我是说距离我上次在那里生活已经很久了，对吧？

No. I I only I only lived there for like six months, but I'm saying it's been a long time since I lived there. Right?

我明白了。

I see.

我们短暂访问过，但没有足够时间去结交新朋友或做很多事情。刚开始时很难交到朋友，因为和我一起玩的人完全不会英语，而我才刚开始学日语，还无法充分交流。不过后来我回去了——不需要细说整个经历——总之我先住了一段时间，离开后又回去了一次。第二次回去时我的日语进步很大，发现在日本交朋友容易多了。

We visited for a short time, but I haven't really like gone there and had enough time to like make new friends and do a bunch of stuff. So, when I was there, at first it was difficult to make friends because the people I was hanging out with didn't speak any English, and I had just basically started learning Japanese. So I couldn't really fully communicate yet. However, after I went back so I don't I don't need to go into all the history, but basically I lived there for a little bit, left, and then I went back for a little bit. And when I went back, my Japanese was much much better, and I found it much easier to make friends in Japan.

因为现在我有了外国人的超能力，而且能说得很好了。所以我觉得...觉得非常容易

Because now I had the superpower of being a foreigner, and I could now speak pretty well. And so I thought I thought it was very easy to

指向什么？

make Pointed to what?

是的。因为作为外国人，我本身就容易吸引注意。但如果我还懂得得体的礼仪，知道如何避免不礼貌的显眼行为——嗯。而且如果有人跟我搭话，我也能回应——嗯。这样事情就变得很简单，因为说实话很多日本人觉得这样很酷很新奇，他们会想把我介绍给他们的朋友和家人。

Yeah. Because I already kind of capture attention just by being a foreigner. But if I also, like, know the right manners and know how to not stick out in impolite ways Mhmm. And if somebody talks to me, I can talk to them Mhmm. Then it becomes really easy because honestly, like a lot of Japanese people think that's cool and exciting, and so they want to introduce me to their friends and to their family.

然后

And

所以我才能遇到很多很棒的人，经历许多有趣的事。比如我和某人聊天后，对方就会把我介绍给其他人。或者我去某家旅舍，那里的人又会把我引荐给另一个人，诸如此类。可以肯定地说，在日本只要你懂礼貌、知礼节，特别是会说日语的话，人们通常都非常友善，很乐意和你交朋友。因为大多数日本人都想和你交流，他们确实很想和你说话。

so, I was able to meet a lot of really cool people and do a lot of interesting things because, you know, I talked to somebody and that person introduced me to this person. And then I go to this hostel and that person there introduces me to this person and that kind of thing. So I can definitely say in Japan, people are very friendly and very happy to make friends with you generally if you are polite and you know the manners and especially if you can speak the language. Because they most Japanese people want to talk to you. They want to talk to you because Staring at their For sure, for sure.

是啊。

Yeah.

我

I

我是说，就连我们婚后一起去日本见到你家人时，他们也说了各种有趣的评价，比如'哇他真的会说日语呢！太棒了'之类。我当时有一堆问题想问。这种情况有好有坏，不过那可能是另一个话题了。

mean even when I met your family when we visited Japan together after we got married, like even they were like saying all kinds of funny comments about like wow he really he really speaks Japanese doesn't he? This is great. I think I had all these questions to ask. And and there's there's good and there's bad parts to that. That's probably a whole separate conversation.

但我真的很感激，这大体上就是我的经历。虽然也有例外，但大多数时候，在日本交朋友确实很容易。

But I'm I'm just grateful for the fact that that has been my experience for the most part. It's obviously counterexamples, but for the most part, it's been it was easy to make friends in Japan.

是啊，就是这类事情。

Yeah, that kind of thing.

因为我现在的很多朋友都是通过跑酷、瑜伽、健康疗养、教练课程这类活动认识的，所以我的朋友们大多都对健身、艺术、灵性和自我提升这类领域感兴趣。当然，他们的职业也很多样化——有音乐家、画家、运动员、物理学家等等，五花八门。但他们都是那种喜欢深入讨论生活奥秘、共同学习成长的人。确实如此。

So because a lot of the friends that I have now I met through something like parkour or yoga or some wellness retreat or coaching or something like that, a lot of my friends tend to be into like fitness and the arts and spirituality and self improvement and that kind of space. And of course, there's a lot of diversity in what they do. Like, have friends that are musicians or painters or athletes or physicists or whatever, all kinds of different things. And but they all tend to be the kind of people that are interested in having, like, deep discussions and talking about life and the mysteries of it and learning together and growing together and that kind of stuff. Yeah, for sure.

我确实有比我年轻的朋友，也有比我年长很多很多的朋友。

I definitely I have friends that are younger than me, and I have friends that are much much much older than me.

比如，

Like,

我是从什么时候开始结交不同年龄段的朋友的？嗯...大概是从高中时期吧，可能是通过共事的人或者老师这类关系。

when did I start making friends that were not the same age as me? Yeah. I think it kind of started when I was in like high school maybe when like people that say maybe I worked with or people that I like teachers, that kind of stuff.

是啊。

Yeah.

或者说像我的一些朋友，尤其到了大学时期，情况确实如此。比如，我会和比我年长许多的教职员工共进晚餐，他们大概六七十岁，也会和各种不同生活背景的人交往。甚至我的日语老师等人，在不同领域都有许多不同层次的导师，我花很多时间与他们相处，只因他们比校园里那些只知道喝酒、拖延作业的人更有趣。我想你们有那种‘同辈压力’之类的东西，这在美国并不常见。

Or like kind of my friends, especially by the time I was in college, that was definitely the case. Like, I was going to dinners with faculty members that were way older than me, like 60, 70 years old, and just hanging out with all kinds of different types of people from different areas of life. And even my Japanese teachers and stuff, there were just lots of different levels of mentors in different areas that I would spend a lot of time with just because they were more interesting to me than the people that on campus were just, like, drinking and trying to procrastinate their homework. I guess you guys have that like dolge conge thing that we don't really have in The US. Yeah.

在美国确实如此。我完全同意，完全同意。这真的很有意思。

In The US. Yeah. I would agree I would agree for sure. Yeah. That's really interesting.

那么，比如说，如果你花很多时间和你父母的朋友、哥哥姐姐的朋友，或者工作中的前辈相处，要过很久你才会开始称他们为朋友吗？

So if you, for example, like spent a lot of time with like your parents' friends or your older siblings' friends or like your senpai at work or something, it would take a long time for you to eventually start calling them like your friend?

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

我懂你的意思。确实有很多这样的情况。

I do know what you mean. Yeah. There's a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

对，就是这样。

Yeah. So so Yeah.

日语中关于地位的理解非常精妙，比如通过语言本身就能体现相对地位关系，这真的很有趣。

There's so much more like intricacy to like the the status, like the understanding of your relative status in Japanese based on the linguistics of the language, you know? Which is really fascinating.

是啊。

Yeah.

你对此有什么感受？你觉得日语本身会不会因为语言中存在的这种额外距离感，让人更难交到朋友？嗯，嗯。

I almost do you feel about that? Do you think the language itself, like makes it harder to make friends in Japanese because you like have all this extra distance between each other in like the language? Yeah, yeah.

这取决于人。

It's up to people.

就像，有了这些额外体系，确实更容易与人保持距离，但也可能更快拉近距离，因为你能更快打破那些隔阂。我并不是说人们需要刻意制定计划来强迫关系发展，只是说日语本身很有趣，它有这些英语里不存在的额外层次。比如工作中，我和平级同事、直属上司、上司的上司说话的方式基本差不多，可能只有5%的差异。

Like, you have the extra systems in place, it makes it easier to push someone away, but it also makes it easier to be really close with someone really fast because you can like break down those barriers quicker. Yeah. I'm not trying to say that people need to make like a a plan to force someone to be a I'm just saying like the language itself is interesting in that, like, you have these extra layers in Japanese that you don't really have the same thing in English. At least not in the same way. Like, for example, at work, my coworkers, like in a day job, I would talk to my people at the same level and personally like my manager, my manager's manager, my manager's manager's manager.

但在日语里，和同级说话与和上司说话时，动词变形和用词都完全不同，这真的很奇怪。

Basically the same way. Maybe like 5% different. But in in Japanese, if I talk to someone who's at my level versus just my boss, there's like a completely different way of conjugating verbs and completely different way like vocabulary that I would be using, which is just very bizarre.

确实。

Yeah.

这样会让人觉得更有距离感，对吧？

Which makes it feel like there's more of a distance, right?

像这样

Like this

这个人跟我不是一个层次的。我们不可能成为所谓的‘朋友’，因为我是这样跟他们说话的，而他们是这样跟我说话的。

person and I are not on the same level. We can't be quote unquote friends because I talk to them like this and they talk to me like this.

我知道

I know

你的意思，

what you mean,

就是，就是

like, like

他们的生理年龄与实际生活阅历之间的差距。

how how many years old their body is versus, like, how much they've really lived their life.

那么

So

我说的‘生活过’，是指真正地去体验、学习、成长和反思这类事情。是的。

And by lived, mean, like, really experienced and learned and grown and reflected and that kind of stuff. Yeah.

是的。而且我认为

Yeah. And I think

这又回到了友谊的话题上，我觉得我很难和那种你刚才描述的小孩子性格的人做朋友——那种容易冲动、极度缺乏耐心、对生活毫无兴趣、总是责怪他人或抱有受害者心态的人。我会很难愿意和他们相处，你懂吗？是的。你会给他们空间去那样做。所以我完全同意这一点。

that ties back into the friendship thing where, like, I feel like I have a I would have a difficult time being friends with somebody who is like the the little kid version that you just expressed, like somebody who is really reactive, somebody that is really like impatient or like doesn't really have interest in life or always blames others or takes a victim mindset, that kind of stuff. I'd have a hard time, like, wanting to be around them, you know? Yeah. You, like, make space for them to do that. So And I definitely agree with that for sure.

我并不指望每个和我相处的人都十全十美。我们都是人，都会有

I don't expect, like, everyone I hang out with to be completely perfect. We're all humans, we're all gonna have

当然，我不

that Sure, I don't

我指的是那些以愤怒、暴躁、不耐烦、怨恨和报复世界为常态的人，我会很难愿意把所有时间都花在他们身上。而如果一个人总体上是快乐、健康、充满热情的，那么当他们经历困难时期时，我当然会支持他们。因为我知道他们真实的样子，他们也清楚自己是谁。明白吗？

I just mean people who have that as their average baseline of being is always just upset and grumpy and impatient and angry and trying to get back at the world or whatever it is that they're doing, I would have a hard time wanting to spend all my time with them. Whereas of course if the person is generally happy and healthy and excited and whatever, then, of course, if they have a period of time where they're going through something, then I'm there to support them. But that's because I know who they really are and that they know who they are. You know?

是啊。

So, yeah.

没错。你总能从一个人的行为方式中看出这类本质。比如，有人可能因为捡了街上的垃圾就试图表现得像个好人，但你在餐厅看到他们对待服务员的态度时，就会发现他们其实非常粗鲁，对吧？从他们的行为方式中总能发现蛛丝马迹，看出他们是否在伪装这类事情。我常挂在嘴边的一句话是：你如何做一件事，就会如何做所有事。

Yeah. And you can always see that kind of thing eventually come out in the way that that person acts. Like, maybe they try to look like they're a good person because they like picked up trash off the street, but then you see the way that they talk to the waitress at a restaurant and they're like really rude, right? You can always see somewhere in the way that they act that like, whether or not they're they're faking that kind of thing. The quote that I usually stick to is how you do anything is how you do everything.

没关系，我们可以结束了

That's okay, we can wrap

吧。我

up. I

可以每天整天都聊这类话题。

could talk about this kind of stuff all day every day.

我们结束

Let's wrap

这次对话吧，也许我们之后会做第二部分。请关注我们的Instagram账号，订阅我们的主页，请持续创作各种精彩内容。你觉得这就是人们收听播客的原因吗？大家一下班就迫不及待想着'天啊，世界上最重要的'

up for now and maybe we'll do a part two later. Please check us out on Instagram, follow our page, please always be making all kinds of cool You think that's why people listen to the podcast? Everyone's just like as soon as they get out of work they're like oh my god the most important thing in

我现在的生活就是想知道道尔顿的情况以及如何

my life right now is I want to know what Dalton and how

我们正在做什么。

we are doing.

谢谢

Thank

感谢大家收听，我们下次再聊。

Thank By the you you all for listening and we'll talk to you next time.

再见。

Bye bye.

再见。

Bye bye.